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1
00:01:54,281 --> 00:01:55,698
Hey!
2
00:02:02,289 --> 00:02:04,207
I'll be right with you.
3
00:02:15,385 --> 00:02:19,305
So, Cameron. Here you go.
4
00:02:19,515 --> 00:02:23,059
Nine schools in 1 0 years.
My, my. Army brat?
5
00:02:23,310 --> 00:02:25,728
-Yeah. My dad is...
-That's enough.
6
00:02:27,189 --> 00:02:30,316
I'm sure you won't find Padua
any different than your old schools.
7
00:02:30,901 --> 00:02:34,070
Same little ass-wipe shit-for-brains
everywhere.
8
00:02:35,823 --> 00:02:41,077
Excuse me? Did you just say...
Am I in the right office?
9
00:02:41,203 --> 00:02:43,913
Not anymore, you're not. I've got
deviants to see and a novel to finish.
10
00:02:43,997 --> 00:02:45,915
Now, scoot. Scoot!
11
00:02:46,416 --> 00:02:47,708
Okay.
12
00:02:48,877 --> 00:02:50,837
Thanks. Thanks a lot.
13
00:02:54,925 --> 00:02:56,425
Patrick Verona.
14
00:02:56,510 --> 00:02:59,095
I see we're making
our visits a weekly ritual.
15
00:02:59,179 --> 00:03:02,765
Only so we can have these moments
together. Should I hit the lights?
16
00:03:02,891 --> 00:03:05,434
Oh, very clever, kangaroo boy.
17
00:03:05,519 --> 00:03:08,020
Says here you exposed yourself
in the cafeteria?
18
00:03:08,730 --> 00:03:11,607
I was joking with the lunch lady.
It was a bratwurst.
19
00:03:11,692 --> 00:03:12,942
Bratwurst?
20
00:03:14,361 --> 00:03:16,237
Aren't we the optimist?
21
00:03:19,283 --> 00:03:21,951
Next time, keep it in your pouch, okay?
22
00:03:22,786 --> 00:03:24,120
Scoot!
23
00:03:37,968 --> 00:03:40,636
Hello! Michael Eckman.
I'm supposed to show you around.
24
00:03:40,762 --> 00:03:42,889
Oh, hi. Thank God. You know...
25
00:03:42,973 --> 00:03:45,808
Normally they send down
one of those audio visual geeks.
26
00:03:45,893 --> 00:03:47,643
No, I do. I know what you mean.
27
00:03:47,728 --> 00:03:49,312
Hey, Michael,
where should I put those slides?
28
00:03:49,396 --> 00:03:53,482
Michael? So... Cameron.
29
00:03:53,942 --> 00:03:57,820
Here's the breakdown. Over there,
we've got your basic beautiful people.
30
00:03:57,946 --> 00:04:01,324
Now listen. Unless they talk
to you first, don't bother.
31
00:04:01,408 --> 00:04:04,410
-Wait. Is that your rule or theirs?
-Watch. Hey, there.
32
00:04:04,494 --> 00:04:06,495
-Eat me.
-You see that?
33
00:04:08,165 --> 00:04:10,499
To the left, we have the coffee kids.
34
00:04:10,626 --> 00:04:13,085
-That was Costa Rican, butthead!
-Very edgy.
35
00:04:13,170 --> 00:04:15,087
Don't make any sudden movements
around them.
36
00:04:15,172 --> 00:04:17,673
These delusionals
are your white Rastas.
37
00:04:17,799 --> 00:04:20,343
They're big Marley fans.
They think they're black.
38
00:04:20,469 --> 00:04:22,345
-Semi-political, but mostly...
-Smoke a lot of weed?
39
00:04:22,471 --> 00:04:25,598
-Yeah. These guys...
-Wait, wait. Let me guess. Cowboys?
40
00:04:25,682 --> 00:04:29,310
Yeah, but the closest they've come
to a cow is McDonald's.
41
00:04:30,520 --> 00:04:32,855
McDonald's.
42
00:04:32,940 --> 00:04:35,858
These are your future Mvys.
We're all Ivy League accepted.
43
00:04:35,984 --> 00:04:37,860
Yuppie greed is back, my friend.
44
00:04:37,945 --> 00:04:40,863
-Hey, guys, how you doin'?
-Close it, Bogey!
45
00:04:42,032 --> 00:04:44,951
-Yesterday, I was their god.
-What happened?
46
00:04:46,203 --> 00:04:48,871
Bogey Lozenstein
started a rumor that I...
47
00:04:48,956 --> 00:04:52,041
That I buy my Izods at an outlet mall.
48
00:04:52,292 --> 00:04:55,044
-So they kicked you out?
-Hostile takeover. But don't worry.
49
00:04:55,212 --> 00:04:58,172
-He'll pay. Now, over here...
-Oh, my God.
50
00:05:06,390 --> 00:05:09,558
-What group is she in?
-The "don't even think about it" group.
51
00:05:09,685 --> 00:05:11,143
That's Bianca Stratford.
She's a sophomore.
52
00:05:11,228 --> 00:05:13,562
I burn, I pine, I perish.
53
00:05:13,814 --> 00:05:17,233
Of course you do.
You know, she's beautiful and deep.
54
00:05:17,317 --> 00:05:18,693
I'm sure.
55
00:05:19,236 --> 00:05:21,904
Yeah, but see, there's a difference
between like and love.
56
00:05:22,030 --> 00:05:25,574
Because I like my Skechers,
but I love my Prada backpack.
57
00:05:25,909 --> 00:05:28,077
But I love my Skechers.
58
00:05:28,203 --> 00:05:30,329
That's because you don't have
a Prada backpack.
59
00:05:33,083 --> 00:05:35,918
Listen, forget her.
Incredibly uptight father.
60
00:05:36,003 --> 00:05:37,086
And it's a widely known fact that
61
00:05:37,170 --> 00:05:39,922
the Stratford sisters
aren't allowed to date.
62
00:05:40,424 --> 00:05:41,590
Yeah.
63
00:05:42,426 --> 00:05:43,676
Whatever.
64
00:05:50,851 --> 00:05:54,520
Okay, then. What did everyone
think of the Sun Also Rises?
65
00:05:55,105 --> 00:05:58,274
I loved it. He's so romantic.
66
00:05:58,400 --> 00:06:00,526
Romantic? Hemingway?
67
00:06:00,610 --> 00:06:03,529
He was an abusive, alcoholic
misogynist who squandered half his life
68
00:06:03,613 --> 00:06:06,115
hanging around Picasso
trying to nail his leftovers.
69
00:06:06,199 --> 00:06:09,785
As opposed to a bitter,
self-righteous hag who has no friends?
70
00:06:12,122 --> 00:06:13,789
Pipe down, Chachi.
71
00:06:15,083 --> 00:06:17,209
I guess in this society,
being male and an asshole
72
00:06:17,294 --> 00:06:19,128
makes you worthy of our time.
73
00:06:20,464 --> 00:06:21,797
What about Sylvia Plath,
74
00:06:21,882 --> 00:06:24,633
or Charlotte Bronte
or Simone de Beauvoir?
75
00:06:25,927 --> 00:06:27,970
What'd I miss?
76
00:06:28,096 --> 00:06:31,307
The oppressive patriarchal values
that dictate our education.
77
00:06:31,391 --> 00:06:32,475
Good.
78
00:06:33,727 --> 00:06:35,394
-Hey, hey!
-Mr. Morgan.
79
00:06:35,479 --> 00:06:37,730
Is there any chance we could get Kat
to take her Midol
80
00:06:37,814 --> 00:06:39,774
before she comes to class?
81
00:06:41,401 --> 00:06:42,818
Someday you're gonna get
bitch-slapped,
82
00:06:42,903 --> 00:06:45,613
and I'm not gonna do a thing to stop it.
83
00:06:46,156 --> 00:06:48,991
And, Kat, I want to thank you
for your point of view.
84
00:06:49,076 --> 00:06:51,577
I know how difficult it must be for you
to overcome all those years
85
00:06:51,661 --> 00:06:54,413
of upper-middle class
suburban oppression.
86
00:06:54,498 --> 00:06:55,998
Must be tough.
87
00:06:56,500 --> 00:07:00,169
But the next time you storm the P.T.A.,
crusading for better lunch meat,
88
00:07:00,253 --> 00:07:02,171
or whatever it is
you white girls complain about,
89
00:07:02,297 --> 00:07:05,007
ask them why they can't buy a book
written by a black man!
90
00:07:05,133 --> 00:07:08,761
-That's right, mon!
-Don't even get me started on you two.
91
00:07:11,348 --> 00:07:12,515
Anything else?
92
00:07:12,599 --> 00:07:15,184
Yeah, go to the office.
You're pissing me off.
93
00:07:15,268 --> 00:07:17,394
-What? Mr. Morgan...
-Later!
94
00:07:23,568 --> 00:07:25,861
Undulating with desire,
95
00:07:26,863 --> 00:07:29,698
Adrienne removes her red...
96
00:07:41,086 --> 00:07:42,545
Crimson cape
97
00:07:43,338 --> 00:07:45,923
at the sight of Reginald's stiff and...
98
00:07:51,221 --> 00:07:52,555
Judith!
99
00:07:54,391 --> 00:07:57,184
What's another word for "engorged"?
100
00:07:58,103 --> 00:07:59,603
I'll look it up.
101
00:07:59,729 --> 00:08:00,855
Okay.
102
00:08:02,399 --> 00:08:06,569
-Swollen. Turgid.
-Tumescent?
103
00:08:07,571 --> 00:08:08,863
Perfect.
104
00:08:09,614 --> 00:08:13,409
So, I hear you were terrorizing
Mr. Morgan's class again.
105
00:08:15,537 --> 00:08:18,289
Expressing my opinion
is not a terrorist action.
106
00:08:18,415 --> 00:08:21,375
The way you expressed your opinion
to Bobby Ridgezay?
107
00:08:21,459 --> 00:08:24,503
By the way, his testicle
retrieval operation went quite well,
108
00:08:24,588 --> 00:08:26,338
in case you're interested.
109
00:08:26,423 --> 00:08:29,717
I still maintain
that he kicked himself in the balls.
110
00:08:29,801 --> 00:08:31,635
The point is, Kat...
111
00:08:34,222 --> 00:08:35,306
Cat.
112
00:08:41,271 --> 00:08:43,647
People perceive you as somewhat...
113
00:08:43,773 --> 00:08:44,899
Tempestuous?
114
00:08:44,983 --> 00:08:47,943
"Heinous bitch" is
the term used most often.
115
00:08:50,405 --> 00:08:52,740
You might want to work on that.
116
00:08:54,284 --> 00:08:55,784
Thank you.
117
00:08:56,244 --> 00:08:59,413
As always, thank you
for your excellent guidance.
118
00:08:59,998 --> 00:09:02,625
I'll let you get back
to Reginald's quivering member.
119
00:09:04,628 --> 00:09:07,630
"Quivering member." I like that.
120
00:09:08,840 --> 00:09:10,966
Virgin alert. Your favorite.
121
00:09:18,016 --> 00:09:19,391
Lookin' good, ladies.
122
00:09:19,476 --> 00:09:22,144
Oh, she's out of reach, even for you.
123
00:09:22,312 --> 00:09:25,981
-No one's out of reach for me.
-You wanna put money on that?
124
00:09:26,316 --> 00:09:28,025
Money, I've got.
125
00:09:28,485 --> 00:09:30,444
This I'm gonna do for fun.
126
00:09:33,823 --> 00:09:35,950
-Who's that guy?
-That's Joey Donner.
127
00:09:36,034 --> 00:09:38,619
He's a jerk off, and a model.
128
00:09:38,828 --> 00:09:40,246
-He's a model?
-A model.
129
00:09:40,330 --> 00:09:43,582
Mostly regional stuff, but he's rumored
to have a big tube sock ad coming out.
130
00:09:43,667 --> 00:09:45,334
-Really?
-Really.
131
00:09:50,340 --> 00:09:53,801
Man, look at her. Is she always so...
132
00:09:53,885 --> 00:09:56,262
-Vapid?
-How can you say that? She's totally...
133
00:09:56,346 --> 00:09:58,138
-Conceited.
-What are you talking about?
134
00:09:58,223 --> 00:10:00,015
There's more to her than you think.
135
00:10:00,141 --> 00:10:04,436
Look at the way she smiles,
and look at her eyes, man.
136
00:10:04,521 --> 00:10:08,857
She's totally pure.
You're missing what's there.
137
00:10:09,025 --> 00:10:11,527
No, no, Cameron, no. What's there
138
00:10:11,653 --> 00:10:15,948
is a snotty little princess wearing
a strategically planned sun dress
139
00:10:16,032 --> 00:10:19,451
to make guys like us realize
that we can never touch her
140
00:10:19,536 --> 00:10:22,371
and guys like Joey realize
that they want to.
141
00:10:22,539 --> 00:10:26,083
She, my friend, is what we will spend
the rest of our lives not having.
142
00:10:26,209 --> 00:10:28,168
Put her in your spank bank, move on.
143
00:10:28,253 --> 00:10:31,088
-Move on.
-No, no. You're wrong about her.
144
00:10:31,214 --> 00:10:33,507
I mean, you know,
not about the spanking part,
145
00:10:33,591 --> 00:10:34,967
but the rest, you're wrong.
146
00:10:35,051 --> 00:10:38,595
All right... I'm wrong?
You wanna take a shot, be my guest.
147
00:10:38,722 --> 00:10:40,514
She's actually looking
for a French tutor.
148
00:10:40,598 --> 00:10:42,683
Are you serious? That's perfect!
149
00:10:42,767 --> 00:10:44,768
Do you speak French?
150
00:10:45,020 --> 00:10:47,062
Well, no, but I will.
151
00:10:50,233 --> 00:10:53,861
Hey. Your little Rambo look is out, Kat.
152
00:10:54,195 --> 00:10:57,865
-Didn't you read last month's Cosmo?
-Run along.
153
00:11:00,910 --> 00:11:04,413
I know you can be overwhelmed,
and you can be under whelmed,
154
00:11:04,539 --> 00:11:06,707
but can you everjust be "whelmed"?
155
00:11:06,791 --> 00:11:10,336
-I think you can in Europe.
-Hi, ladies.
156
00:11:10,420 --> 00:11:13,213
Would you szeet young things
like a ride?
157
00:11:18,762 --> 00:11:20,804
Careful on the leather.
158
00:11:24,768 --> 00:11:27,227
That's a charming new development.
159
00:11:27,312 --> 00:11:28,937
It's disgusting.
160
00:11:32,150 --> 00:11:35,152
Remove head from sphincter,
then drive!
161
00:11:40,950 --> 00:11:42,576
-You okay?
-Yeah.
162
00:11:42,660 --> 00:11:45,287
Just a minor encounter with the shrew.
163
00:11:45,455 --> 00:11:48,916
-That's your girlfriend's sister.
-That's Bianca's sister?
164
00:11:49,000 --> 00:11:52,294
The mewling, rampalian wretch herself.
165
00:11:53,129 --> 00:11:55,297
-Stay cool, bro.
-Yeah, see you later.
166
00:11:56,466 --> 00:11:57,758
Look out!
167
00:12:04,432 --> 00:12:07,309
My balls! Oh, boy.
168
00:12:25,328 --> 00:12:26,829
Yeah!
169
00:13:14,335 --> 00:13:17,087
Hello, Katarina.
Make anyone cry today?
170
00:13:17,547 --> 00:13:20,048
Sadly, no. But it's only 4:30.
171
00:13:21,843 --> 00:13:24,011
-Hi, Daddy.
-Hello, precious.
172
00:13:24,554 --> 00:13:26,513
-And where have you been?
-Nowhere.
173
00:13:26,598 --> 00:13:29,391
Hey, what's this?
It says Sarah Lawrence.
174
00:13:34,105 --> 00:13:37,566
I got in!
175
00:13:38,735 --> 00:13:39,860
Honey, that's great,
176
00:13:39,944 --> 00:13:41,987
but isn't Sarah Lawrence
on the other side of the country?
177
00:13:42,071 --> 00:13:44,406
Thus the basis of its appeal.
178
00:13:44,532 --> 00:13:46,700
I thought we decided you were
going to stay here and go to school.
179
00:13:46,784 --> 00:13:49,077
"U-Dub," like me. Be a Husky.
180
00:13:51,247 --> 00:13:52,873
No, you decided.
181
00:13:53,583 --> 00:13:56,376
Oh, okay, so what, you just pick up
and leave, is that it?
182
00:13:56,461 --> 00:13:57,920
Let's hope so.
183
00:13:58,421 --> 00:14:00,464
Ask Bianca who drove her home.
184
00:14:00,590 --> 00:14:02,674
Kat, don't change the...
Drove? Who drove you home?
185
00:14:02,759 --> 00:14:05,260
Now, don't get upset, Daddy,
but there's this boy...
186
00:14:05,386 --> 00:14:08,096
-Who's a flaming imbecile.
-And I think he might ask me...
187
00:14:08,223 --> 00:14:10,057
Please. I think I know
what he's going to ask you.
188
00:14:10,141 --> 00:14:12,976
And I think I know the answer. No.
It's always no.
189
00:14:13,102 --> 00:14:14,770
What are the two house rules?
190
00:14:14,854 --> 00:14:17,272
Number one,
no dating till you graduate.
191
00:14:17,357 --> 00:14:20,108
Number two,
no dating till you graduate.
192
00:14:20,443 --> 00:14:23,111
-That's it.
-Daddy, that's so unfair.
193
00:14:23,196 --> 00:14:26,198
All right, you want to know
what's unfair? This is for you, too.
194
00:14:26,282 --> 00:14:29,576
This morning I delivered a set of twins
to a 1 5-year-old girl.
195
00:14:29,661 --> 00:14:31,203
Do you know what she said to me?
196
00:14:31,287 --> 00:14:32,663
I'm a crack whore who should have
197
00:14:32,789 --> 00:14:35,374
made my skeezy boyfriend
wear a condom?
198
00:14:37,627 --> 00:14:39,628
Close, but no.
199
00:14:39,796 --> 00:14:42,965
She said,
"I should have listened to my father."
200
00:14:43,049 --> 00:14:45,592
-She did not.
-Well, that's what she would have said
201
00:14:45,677 --> 00:14:47,719
if she wasn't so doped up.
202
00:14:48,555 --> 00:14:51,056
Can we focus on me
for a second, please?
203
00:14:51,140 --> 00:14:53,267
I am the only girl in school
who's not dating.
204
00:14:53,351 --> 00:14:54,851
Oh, no, you're not.
Your sister doesn't date.
205
00:14:54,978 --> 00:14:56,228
And I don't intend to.
206
00:14:56,312 --> 00:14:57,938
And why is that again?
207
00:14:58,022 --> 00:15:01,024
Have you seen the unwashed
miscreants that go to that school?
208
00:15:01,150 --> 00:15:03,402
Where did you come from?
Planet Loser?
209
00:15:03,486 --> 00:15:06,488
As opposed to
Planet Look At Me, Look At Me.
210
00:15:07,240 --> 00:15:08,949
Okay, here's how we solve this one.
211
00:15:09,033 --> 00:15:12,869
Old rule out. New rule, Bianca can date
212
00:15:15,373 --> 00:15:16,915
when she does.
213
00:15:18,751 --> 00:15:21,086
But she's a mutant!
What if she never dates?
214
00:15:21,170 --> 00:15:23,547
Then you'll never date. Oh, I like that.
215
00:15:23,673 --> 00:15:26,008
And I'll get to sleep at night.
216
00:15:26,175 --> 00:15:27,259
The deep slumber of a father
217
00:15:27,343 --> 00:15:29,845
whose daughters aren't out
being impregnated.
218
00:15:31,848 --> 00:15:33,849
-We'll talk about Sarah Lawrence later.
-Fine.
219
00:15:33,933 --> 00:15:35,851
-Wait! Daddy!
-Gotta go.
220
00:15:37,729 --> 00:15:39,813
Can't you just find
some blind, deaf retard
221
00:15:39,897 --> 00:15:42,065
to take you to the movies
so I can have one date?
222
00:15:42,191 --> 00:15:44,067
I'm sorry. Looks like
you'll just have to miss out
223
00:15:44,193 --> 00:15:47,112
on the witty repartee
of Joey "Eat Me" Donner.
224
00:15:47,947 --> 00:15:51,033
You suck.
225
00:16:03,921 --> 00:16:05,714
Hi. Can we make this quick?
226
00:16:05,798 --> 00:16:08,258
Roxanne Corinne and Andrew Jarrett
are having an incredibly horrendous
227
00:16:08,384 --> 00:16:10,761
public break-up on the quad, again.
228
00:16:11,721 --> 00:16:14,514
Oh, yeah, okay. I thought that we'd
229
00:16:14,599 --> 00:16:17,934
start with pronunciation,
if that's all right with you.
230
00:16:18,061 --> 00:16:21,438
Not the hacking and gagging
and spitting part, please.
231
00:16:21,731 --> 00:16:24,107
Well, there is an alternative.
232
00:16:24,233 --> 00:16:27,194
-There is?
-Yeah, French food.
233
00:16:27,278 --> 00:16:30,155
We could eat some together
234
00:16:31,449 --> 00:16:33,075
Saturday night?
235
00:16:35,745 --> 00:16:37,621
You're asking me out?
236
00:16:38,122 --> 00:16:40,791
That's so cute.
What's your name again?
237
00:16:41,250 --> 00:16:44,044
Cameron. Listen, I know
that your dad doesn't let you date,
238
00:16:44,128 --> 00:16:46,380
but I thought
that if it was for French class...
239
00:16:46,464 --> 00:16:49,424
-Oh, wait a minute. Curtis...
-Cameron.
240
00:16:49,759 --> 00:16:53,470
My dad just came up with a new rule.
I can date when my sister does.
241
00:16:53,638 --> 00:16:56,139
You're kidding.
Let me ask you, do you like sailing?
242
00:16:56,265 --> 00:16:57,849
'Cause I read about this place
that rents boats...
243
00:16:57,934 --> 00:16:59,768
A beaucoup problemo, Calvin.
244
00:16:59,852 --> 00:17:04,523
In case you haven't heard, my sister's
a particularly hideous breed of loser.
245
00:17:04,941 --> 00:17:08,777
Yeah. Yeah, I noticed
she's a little antisocial.
246
00:17:08,861 --> 00:17:11,822
-Why is that?
-Unsolved mystery.
247
00:17:11,948 --> 00:17:14,408
She used to be really popular,
and then it was like
248
00:17:14,492 --> 00:17:16,618
she got sick of it or something.
249
00:17:16,869 --> 00:17:17,953
Theories abound as to why,
250
00:17:18,037 --> 00:17:21,039
but I'm pretty sure she's just
incapable of human interaction.
251
00:17:21,124 --> 00:17:23,041
Plus, she's a bitch.
252
00:17:25,044 --> 00:17:26,920
Well, yeah, but I'm sure,
you know, that there are
253
00:17:27,004 --> 00:17:30,966
lots of guys who wouldn't mind
going out with a difficult woman.
254
00:17:31,217 --> 00:17:35,178
I mean, you know, people jump
out of airplanes and ski off cliffs.
255
00:17:35,304 --> 00:17:38,473
It'd be like "Extreme Dating."
256
00:17:39,851 --> 00:17:42,602
You think you could find
someone that extreme?
257
00:17:42,687 --> 00:17:44,479
Yeah, sure, why not?
258
00:17:44,564 --> 00:17:47,858
-And you'd do that for me?
-Hell, yes!
259
00:17:47,984 --> 00:17:51,194
I mean, you know, I could look into it.
260
00:17:57,076 --> 00:18:00,912
Now, I have gathered a group of guys,
couldn't be more perfect.
261
00:18:00,997 --> 00:18:02,539
Padua's finest.
262
00:18:07,170 --> 00:18:08,837
Hi. How you doin'?
263
00:18:10,173 --> 00:18:13,842
Would any of you be interested
in dating Katarina Stratford?
264
00:18:18,514 --> 00:18:20,682
I've never been that ripped.
265
00:18:21,017 --> 00:18:23,894
Maybe if we were
the last two people alive,
266
00:18:24,020 --> 00:18:25,812
and there were no sheep.
267
00:18:25,897 --> 00:18:27,022
Are there sheep?
268
00:18:34,906 --> 00:18:37,324
Did I or did I not tell you
it was pointless?
269
00:18:37,408 --> 00:18:39,409
No one will go out with her.
270
00:18:43,790 --> 00:18:45,874
Hey, hey, what about him?
271
00:18:46,042 --> 00:18:48,335
Him? No, don't...
Don't look at him, okay?
272
00:18:48,419 --> 00:18:52,547
He's a criminal.
I heard he lit a state trooper on fire.
273
00:18:52,632 --> 00:18:56,551
-He just did a year in San Quentin.
-Well, at least he's horny.
274
00:18:57,386 --> 00:18:59,304
I'm serious, man. He's whacked.
275
00:18:59,388 --> 00:19:03,892
He sold his own liver on the
black market for a new set of speakers.
276
00:19:10,942 --> 00:19:12,651
He's our guy.
277
00:19:30,253 --> 00:19:32,254
Hi. How you doin'?
278
00:19:32,421 --> 00:19:33,463
Listen, I...
279
00:19:36,759 --> 00:19:38,760
Okay. Later, then.
280
00:19:46,102 --> 00:19:48,436
How do we get him to date Kat?
281
00:19:49,522 --> 00:19:50,981
I don't know.
282
00:19:52,024 --> 00:19:54,109
I mean, we could pay him,
283
00:19:55,611 --> 00:19:57,821
but we don't have any money.
284
00:19:58,030 --> 00:20:00,448
Yeah, well, what we need is a backer.
285
00:20:00,616 --> 00:20:04,286
-What's that?
-Someone with money who's stupid.
286
00:20:08,457 --> 00:20:09,958
Oh, yeah.
287
00:20:18,801 --> 00:20:21,303
Is that a peach Fruit Roll-Up?
Because you don't see many...
288
00:20:21,387 --> 00:20:24,222
Oh, okay. Yeah. All right.
289
00:20:25,182 --> 00:20:26,600
-Are you lost?
-No.
290
00:20:26,684 --> 00:20:28,643
Actually, I just came by to chat.
291
00:20:29,812 --> 00:20:32,188
-We don't chat.
-Well, actually, I thought
292
00:20:32,315 --> 00:20:35,400
that I'd run an idea by you,
just to see if you're interested.
293
00:20:35,484 --> 00:20:37,903
-I'm not.
-Well, hear me out.
294
00:20:37,987 --> 00:20:40,989
Now, you want Bianca, right?
295
00:20:41,574 --> 00:20:44,784
But she can't go out with you
because her sister
296
00:20:44,869 --> 00:20:48,705
is this insane head case, and no one
will go out with her, right?
297
00:20:48,831 --> 00:20:50,624
Does this conversation
have a purpose?
298
00:20:50,708 --> 00:20:52,709
What I think you need to do,
299
00:20:52,835 --> 00:20:55,837
is you need to hire a guy
who'll go out with her.
300
00:20:55,922 --> 00:20:58,506
Someone who doesn't scare so easily.
301
00:21:00,384 --> 00:21:02,010
That guy?
302
00:21:03,012 --> 00:21:06,723
-I heard he ate a live duck once.
-Everything but the beak and feet.
303
00:21:06,849 --> 00:21:09,517
Clearly, he's a solid investment.
304
00:21:11,103 --> 00:21:12,687
-What's in it for you?
-Hey.
305
00:21:12,772 --> 00:21:16,733
I'm walking down the hall and
I say hello to you, you say hello to me.
306
00:21:16,817 --> 00:21:19,861
Yeah, yeah, I get it.
You're cool by association.
307
00:21:20,821 --> 00:21:23,323
I'll think about it.
308
00:21:27,036 --> 00:21:28,912
-We're done now.
-Yeah.
309
00:21:33,834 --> 00:21:35,335
What are you doing
getting him involved?
310
00:21:35,419 --> 00:21:36,670
Relax, now. Relax.
311
00:21:36,754 --> 00:21:38,672
We let him pretend
he's calling the shots.
312
00:21:38,756 --> 00:21:42,717
While he's busy setting things up,
you have time with Bianca.
313
00:21:44,553 --> 00:21:46,930
That is a good idea. All right.
314
00:21:49,517 --> 00:21:52,060
I have a dick on my face, don't I?
315
00:21:56,148 --> 00:21:58,024
Now, remember, guys,
316
00:21:58,526 --> 00:22:01,528
grip it and rip it.
317
00:22:15,376 --> 00:22:17,335
Hey. How you doin'?
318
00:22:22,049 --> 00:22:23,967
I had some great duck last night.
319
00:22:26,095 --> 00:22:27,762
Do I know you?
320
00:22:28,597 --> 00:22:30,432
You see that girl?
321
00:22:32,810 --> 00:22:34,894
-Yeah.
-That's Kat Stratford.
322
00:22:35,312 --> 00:22:37,230
I want you to go out with her.
323
00:22:37,690 --> 00:22:39,524
Yeah, sure, Sparky.
324
00:22:41,652 --> 00:22:45,405
Look, I can't take out her sister
until Kat starts dating.
325
00:22:45,489 --> 00:22:48,241
You see, their dad's whacked out.
He's got this rule where the girls...
326
00:22:48,325 --> 00:22:51,661
That's a touching story. It really is.
Not my problem.
327
00:22:52,788 --> 00:22:54,247
Would you be willing
to make it your problem
328
00:22:54,331 --> 00:22:56,791
if I provide generous compensation?
329
00:22:59,420 --> 00:23:01,421
You're gonna pay me
to take out some chick?
330
00:23:04,550 --> 00:23:07,010
-How much?
-Twenty bucks.
331
00:23:15,352 --> 00:23:16,644
Fine, 30.
332
00:23:18,606 --> 00:23:20,482
Well, let's think about this.
333
00:23:20,608 --> 00:23:24,486
We go to the movies, that's 1 5 bucks.
334
00:23:26,781 --> 00:23:29,949
We get popcorn, that's 53.
335
00:23:31,160 --> 00:23:33,328
And she'll want Raisinets, right?
336
00:23:33,496 --> 00:23:37,207
So, we're looking at 75 bucks.
337
00:23:37,458 --> 00:23:41,252
This isn't a negotiation.
Take it or leave it, Trailer Park.
338
00:23:41,796 --> 00:23:44,422
Fifty bucks and we got a deal, Fabio.
339
00:23:48,969 --> 00:23:51,638
Great practice, everybody.
340
00:23:51,722 --> 00:23:54,724
-Good hustle, Stratford.
-Thanks, Mr. Chapin.
341
00:24:03,818 --> 00:24:06,778
Hey there, girlie. How you doin'?
342
00:24:07,238 --> 00:24:09,447
Sweating like a pig, actually.
And yourself?
343
00:24:09,532 --> 00:24:11,950
Now, there's a way to get
a guy's attention, huh?
344
00:24:12,493 --> 00:24:14,160
My mission in life.
345
00:24:14,245 --> 00:24:16,955
But obviously, I struck your fancy,
so, you see, it worked.
346
00:24:17,039 --> 00:24:18,706
The world makes sense again.
347
00:24:20,459 --> 00:24:23,837
-Pick you up on Friday, then.
-Oh, right. Friday.
348
00:24:25,297 --> 00:24:28,466
Well, the night I take you places
you've never been before.
349
00:24:28,551 --> 00:24:30,760
Like where?
The 7-Eleven on Broadway?
350
00:24:30,845 --> 00:24:33,513
Do you even know
my name, screw boy?
351
00:24:33,597 --> 00:24:35,765
I know a lot more than you think.
352
00:24:35,850 --> 00:24:37,809
Doubtful. Very doubtful.
353
00:24:45,109 --> 00:24:46,192
We are screwed.
354
00:24:46,277 --> 00:24:48,236
Hey, I don't want to hear
that defeatist attitude.
355
00:24:48,320 --> 00:24:51,364
-I want to hear you upbeat.
-We're screwed!
356
00:24:51,448 --> 00:24:53,491
-There you go.
-Hey, Coach Chapin!
357
00:24:58,956 --> 00:25:00,498
Run, Bogey!
358
00:25:07,715 --> 00:25:09,841
Have you ever considered a new look?
359
00:25:09,925 --> 00:25:12,260
I mean, seriously. You could
have some definite potential
360
00:25:12,344 --> 00:25:14,429
buried under all this hostility.
361
00:25:14,513 --> 00:25:17,223
I'm not hostile. I'm annoyed.
362
00:25:17,391 --> 00:25:19,392
Why don't you try being nice?
363
00:25:19,476 --> 00:25:21,311
People wouldn't know what to think.
364
00:25:21,395 --> 00:25:23,563
You forget,
I don't care what people think.
365
00:25:23,647 --> 00:25:25,023
Yes, you do.
366
00:25:25,441 --> 00:25:26,900
No, I don't.
367
00:25:28,402 --> 00:25:31,070
You don't always have to be
who they want you to be, you know.
368
00:25:32,406 --> 00:25:35,158
I happen to like being adored,
thank you.
369
00:25:35,993 --> 00:25:37,619
Where'd you get the pearls?
370
00:25:37,703 --> 00:25:39,204
They're Mom's.
371
00:25:39,788 --> 00:25:42,415
And you've been what,
hiding them for three years?
372
00:25:42,499 --> 00:25:44,709
No. Daddy found them
in a drawer last week.
373
00:25:44,793 --> 00:25:46,753
So you're just gonna start
wearing them now?
374
00:25:46,837 --> 00:25:49,797
It's not like she's coming back
to claim them!
375
00:25:51,258 --> 00:25:54,594
Besides, they look good on me.
376
00:25:55,888 --> 00:25:57,680
Trust me. They don't.
377
00:26:03,187 --> 00:26:05,647
Nice ride. Vintage fenders.
378
00:26:05,898 --> 00:26:08,107
Are you following me?
379
00:26:08,192 --> 00:26:11,402
I was in the Laundromat.
I saw your car. I came over to say hi.
380
00:26:11,487 --> 00:26:12,570
Hi.
381
00:26:14,782 --> 00:26:17,700
-Not a big talker, huh?
-Depends on the topic.
382
00:26:17,785 --> 00:26:20,703
My fenders don't really whip me
into a verbal frenzy.
383
00:26:20,788 --> 00:26:24,499
-You're not afraid of me, are you?
-Why would I be afraid of you?
384
00:26:24,583 --> 00:26:27,085
-Well, most people are.
-Well, I'm not.
385
00:26:27,169 --> 00:26:28,211
Well, maybe you're not afraid of me,
386
00:26:28,295 --> 00:26:31,130
but I'm sure
you've thought about me naked.
387
00:26:31,632 --> 00:26:33,508
Am I that transparent?
388
00:26:33,717 --> 00:26:36,469
I want you, I need you.
Oh, baby, oh, baby.
389
00:26:46,105 --> 00:26:48,231
What is it, asshole day?
390
00:26:48,899 --> 00:26:51,109
-Do you mind?
-Not at all.
391
00:27:01,829 --> 00:27:03,413
You bitch!
392
00:27:07,584 --> 00:27:08,668
Whoops.
393
00:27:09,086 --> 00:27:10,503
"Whoops"?
394
00:27:11,588 --> 00:27:14,173
My insurance does not cover PMS!
395
00:27:16,135 --> 00:27:18,970
Well, then tell them I had a seizure.
396
00:27:19,054 --> 00:27:20,138
Is this about Sarah Lawrence?
397
00:27:20,222 --> 00:27:22,390
Are you punishing me because
I want you to stay close to home?
398
00:27:22,474 --> 00:27:25,184
Aren't you punishing me
because Mom left?
399
00:27:25,269 --> 00:27:27,186
You think you could
leave her out of this?
400
00:27:27,271 --> 00:27:29,355
Fine.
Then stop making my decisions for me.
401
00:27:29,440 --> 00:27:31,357
I'm your father. That's my right.
402
00:27:31,442 --> 00:27:33,609
So what I want doesn't matter.
403
00:27:34,069 --> 00:27:35,361
You're 1 8.
You don't know what you want.
404
00:27:35,446 --> 00:27:37,697
And you won't know
what you want till you're 45,
405
00:27:37,781 --> 00:27:40,116
and even if you get it,
you'll be too old to use it.
406
00:27:40,200 --> 00:27:42,035
I want to go to an East Coast school!
407
00:27:42,119 --> 00:27:43,703
I want you to trust me
to make my own choices,
408
00:27:43,787 --> 00:27:45,580
and I want you to stop trying
to control my life
409
00:27:45,664 --> 00:27:48,249
just because you can't control yours!
410
00:27:48,500 --> 00:27:50,460
Yeah? Well, you know what I want?
411
00:27:53,630 --> 00:27:54,881
We'll continue this later.
412
00:27:54,965 --> 00:27:56,341
Can't wait.
413
00:27:58,844 --> 00:28:01,012
Did you just maim Joey's car?
414
00:28:01,096 --> 00:28:03,097
Yeah. Looks like you're gonna
have to take the bus.
415
00:28:03,182 --> 00:28:05,308
Has the fact
that you're completely psycho
416
00:28:05,392 --> 00:28:07,685
managed to escape your attention?
417
00:28:08,896 --> 00:28:10,104
Daddy!
418
00:28:15,361 --> 00:28:19,280
-When I shell out 50, I expect results.
-Yeah, I'm on it.
419
00:28:19,531 --> 00:28:22,909
Watching that bitch violate my car
doesn't count as a date.
420
00:28:22,993 --> 00:28:25,953
Now, if you don't get any,
I don't get any.
421
00:28:26,789 --> 00:28:28,373
So get some.
422
00:28:29,666 --> 00:28:31,542
I just upped my price.
423
00:28:32,086 --> 00:28:34,754
-What?
-Hundred bucks a date.
424
00:28:35,589 --> 00:28:38,674
-In advance.
-Forget it.
425
00:28:38,926 --> 00:28:41,177
Well, forget her sister, then.
426
00:28:45,557 --> 00:28:49,310
You better hope you're as smooth
as you think you are, Verona.
427
00:29:01,031 --> 00:29:02,448
-Go.
-No, you go.
428
00:29:02,533 --> 00:29:04,075
I went before.
429
00:29:12,751 --> 00:29:15,628
We know what you're trying to do
with Kat Stratford.
430
00:29:15,712 --> 00:29:18,798
Is that right?
What do you plan to do about it?
431
00:29:18,882 --> 00:29:21,134
-Help you out.
-Why's that?
432
00:29:22,970 --> 00:29:24,303
The situation is,
433
00:29:24,388 --> 00:29:28,349
my man Cameron here
has a majorjones for Bianca Stratford.
434
00:29:29,643 --> 00:29:31,769
What is it with this chick?
She have beer-flavored nipples?
435
00:29:31,854 --> 00:29:35,440
-Hey!
-I... I think I speak correctly
436
00:29:35,524 --> 00:29:38,151
when I say that Cameron's love is pure,
437
00:29:38,235 --> 00:29:40,069
purer than, say, Joey Donner's.
438
00:29:40,154 --> 00:29:42,405
I'm in this for the cash.
Donner can plow whoever he wants.
439
00:29:42,489 --> 00:29:44,824
Okay, there will be no plowing.
440
00:29:45,492 --> 00:29:47,493
Patrick... Pat...
441
00:29:48,078 --> 00:29:50,204
Let me explain something to you here.
442
00:29:50,289 --> 00:29:54,167
We set this whole thing up
so Cameron can get the girl. Cameron.
443
00:29:54,251 --> 00:29:56,043
Joey's just a pawn.
444
00:29:59,506 --> 00:30:01,340
So, you two are gonna
help me tame the wild beast.
445
00:30:01,425 --> 00:30:02,550
Absolutely.
446
00:30:02,634 --> 00:30:05,636
We'll do some research,
we'll find out what she likes.
447
00:30:05,721 --> 00:30:07,388
We're your guys.
448
00:30:07,473 --> 00:30:11,684
And he means that in
a strictly non-prison movie type of way.
449
00:30:13,562 --> 00:30:14,770
Let's start here.
450
00:30:14,855 --> 00:30:18,524
Now, Friday night,
Bogey Lozenstein is having a party.
451
00:30:18,609 --> 00:30:20,735
It's the perfect opportunity.
452
00:30:20,819 --> 00:30:24,489
-Perfect opportunity for what?
-For you to take out Kat.
453
00:30:26,533 --> 00:30:28,201
I'll think about it.
454
00:30:29,536 --> 00:30:32,205
And for a little payback.
455
00:30:32,623 --> 00:30:34,415
This is gonna be some party.
456
00:30:44,343 --> 00:30:45,885
Let's do this.
457
00:31:06,740 --> 00:31:09,367
Now, this is really important, okay?
458
00:31:09,701 --> 00:31:11,994
Which one do you like better?
459
00:31:16,416 --> 00:31:19,752
I think I like the white shirt better.
460
00:31:19,836 --> 00:31:22,338
-Yeah, it's... It's more...
-Pensive?
461
00:31:23,715 --> 00:31:26,217
Damn. I was going for thoughtful.
462
00:31:26,426 --> 00:31:27,927
So, are you going to
Bogey Lozenbrau's thing
463
00:31:28,011 --> 00:31:29,470
on Friday night?
464
00:31:29,555 --> 00:31:31,222
Yeah, I might.
465
00:31:31,306 --> 00:31:35,393
Good, 'cause you know, I'm not
gonna bother if you won't be there.
466
00:31:38,605 --> 00:31:39,981
See you there.
467
00:31:40,065 --> 00:31:41,774
-Okay.
-All right.
468
00:31:58,375 --> 00:32:01,460
So, have you heard
about Bogey Lowenstein's party?
469
00:32:01,545 --> 00:32:05,506
Yes, and I really, really,
really want to go.
470
00:32:05,632 --> 00:32:09,218
But you know I can't.
Not unless my sister does.
471
00:32:09,303 --> 00:32:11,721
Yeah, I know.
I'm working on that, but so far,
472
00:32:11,805 --> 00:32:14,348
you know, she's not going for my guy.
473
00:32:14,641 --> 00:32:17,893
-She's not a...
-K.D. Lang fan? No.
474
00:32:18,020 --> 00:32:20,521
I found a picture of Jared Leto
in her drawer once,
475
00:32:20,606 --> 00:32:23,858
so I'm pretty sure she's not
harboring same-sex tendencies.
476
00:32:23,942 --> 00:32:27,945
Okay, so that's the kind of guys
she likes... Like, pretty guys.
477
00:32:28,030 --> 00:32:29,655
I don't know. All I've ever heard her say
478
00:32:29,740 --> 00:32:32,950
is that she'd die
before dating a guy that smokes.
479
00:32:33,160 --> 00:32:35,202
Okay, all right, no smoking. What else?
480
00:32:35,287 --> 00:32:37,204
You're asking me
to investigate the inner workings
481
00:32:37,289 --> 00:32:39,165
of my sister's twisted mind?
482
00:32:39,249 --> 00:32:41,208
I don't think so.
483
00:32:41,918 --> 00:32:43,002
Well, nothing else has worked.
484
00:32:43,086 --> 00:32:45,838
We need to go
behind enemy lines here.
485
00:32:50,636 --> 00:32:52,219
Okay, here we go.
486
00:32:53,597 --> 00:32:55,640
Class schedule, reading list,
487
00:32:55,724 --> 00:32:59,268
date book, concert tickets,
concert tickets.
488
00:33:04,858 --> 00:33:07,068
Black panties!
489
00:33:07,152 --> 00:33:09,111
What does that tell us?
490
00:33:09,404 --> 00:33:11,697
She wants to have sex someday,
that's what.
491
00:33:11,782 --> 00:33:14,116
You... She could just like the color.
492
00:33:14,201 --> 00:33:17,244
You don't buy black lingerie
unless you want someone to see it.
493
00:33:19,665 --> 00:33:23,668
So... Can I see your room?
494
00:33:25,170 --> 00:33:26,253
No.
495
00:33:29,841 --> 00:33:32,218
A girl's room is very personal.
496
00:33:33,428 --> 00:33:34,762
Oh, okay.
497
00:33:46,358 --> 00:33:48,734
-Nice bike.
-Yeah, you think so?
498
00:34:03,625 --> 00:34:06,043
Wow. Is this what a bar looks like?
499
00:34:07,754 --> 00:34:10,756
Don't touch anything.
You may get hepatitis.
500
00:34:22,602 --> 00:34:23,686
So, what have you got for me?
501
00:34:23,770 --> 00:34:27,356
A little insight
into a very complicated girl.
502
00:34:28,191 --> 00:34:31,026
Excuse me.
Just one question before we start.
503
00:34:31,153 --> 00:34:34,113
Should you be drinking alcohol
when you don't have a liver?
504
00:34:34,197 --> 00:34:36,198
-What?
-Nothing. Nothing.
505
00:34:37,951 --> 00:34:41,954
All right, first thing. Kat hates smokers.
506
00:34:45,125 --> 00:34:48,627
So, you're telling me I'm a non-smoker.
507
00:34:48,712 --> 00:34:53,090
-Yes. Well, just for now.
-And here's another problem.
508
00:34:53,175 --> 00:34:56,844
Bianca said that Kat likes pretty guys.
509
00:35:04,436 --> 00:35:06,479
Are you telling me I'm not a pretty guy?
510
00:35:06,563 --> 00:35:07,813
He's very pretty!
511
00:35:07,898 --> 00:35:11,650
-This is a gorgeous guy.
-I just wasn't sure. I didn't know.
512
00:35:14,070 --> 00:35:16,781
All right. Yeah, okay. Here's this.
513
00:35:18,909 --> 00:35:20,159
"Likes.
514
00:35:20,535 --> 00:35:24,622
"Thai food, feminist prose
and angry girl music
515
00:35:24,706 --> 00:35:27,041
"of the indie rock persuasion."
516
00:35:27,125 --> 00:35:29,835
Here's a list of CDs
she has in her room.
517
00:35:32,506 --> 00:35:34,507
So, I'm supposed to buy her
some noodles and a book
518
00:35:34,591 --> 00:35:37,384
and sit around listening to chicks
who can't play their instruments, right?
519
00:35:37,469 --> 00:35:39,887
Have you ever been to Club Skunk?
520
00:35:40,013 --> 00:35:42,681
Her favorite band's
playing there tomorrow night.
521
00:35:42,766 --> 00:35:45,017
I can't be seen at Club Skunk, all right?
522
00:35:45,101 --> 00:35:46,852
But she'll be there. She's got tickets.
523
00:35:46,937 --> 00:35:49,271
Assail your ears for one night.
524
00:35:52,275 --> 00:35:54,944
She has a pair of black underwear.
525
00:35:55,403 --> 00:35:57,196
If that helps.
526
00:35:57,739 --> 00:35:59,532
Couldn't hurt, right?
527
00:37:16,902 --> 00:37:19,278
Verona! What are you doing here?
528
00:37:20,280 --> 00:37:21,697
I need agua!
529
00:37:27,913 --> 00:37:29,496
Two waters.
530
00:37:37,255 --> 00:37:40,132
If you're planning on asking me out,
you might as well just get it over with.
531
00:37:40,216 --> 00:37:43,636
Do you mind?
You're kind of ruining this for me.
532
00:37:43,887 --> 00:37:46,096
You're not surrounded by
your usual cloud of smoke.
533
00:37:46,181 --> 00:37:49,141
I know. I quit.
Apparently they're bad for you.
534
00:37:49,225 --> 00:37:50,601
You think?
535
00:37:52,437 --> 00:37:55,648
You know, these guys
are no Bikini Kill or the Raincoats.
536
00:37:55,732 --> 00:37:57,733
But they're not bad.
537
00:38:01,571 --> 00:38:04,740
-You know who the Raincoats are?
-Why, don't you?
538
00:38:07,410 --> 00:38:10,579
I was watching you out there before.
I've never seen you look so sexy.
539
00:38:20,340 --> 00:38:24,385
-Come to Bogey's party with me.
-You never give up, do you?
540
00:38:26,596 --> 00:38:27,805
Was that a yes?
541
00:38:27,889 --> 00:38:31,183
-No.
-Well, then, was that a no?
542
00:38:31,267 --> 00:38:34,353
-No.
-I'll see you at 9:30 then!
543
00:38:45,448 --> 00:38:47,616
Should have used the window.
544
00:38:48,368 --> 00:38:50,035
-Hi, Daddy.
-Hi.
545
00:38:51,663 --> 00:38:53,330
Where are we going?
546
00:38:53,415 --> 00:38:56,875
Well, if you must know,
a small study group of friends.
547
00:38:57,043 --> 00:38:59,211
Otherwise known as an orgy?
548
00:38:59,504 --> 00:39:01,547
Mr. Stratford, it's just a party.
549
00:39:01,631 --> 00:39:03,674
And hell is just a sauna.
550
00:39:04,718 --> 00:39:07,052
Do you know anything about a party?
551
00:39:07,220 --> 00:39:10,973
-People expect me to be there.
-Kat's not going, you're not going.
552
00:39:11,057 --> 00:39:13,392
Why can't you be normal?
553
00:39:13,476 --> 00:39:16,228
-Define "normal."
-Bogey Lozenstein's party is normal.
554
00:39:16,312 --> 00:39:18,897
-What's a Bogey Lozenstein?
-Bogey's party is just a lame excuse
555
00:39:18,982 --> 00:39:20,691
for all the idiots at our school
to drink beer
556
00:39:20,775 --> 00:39:22,151
and rub up against each other
557
00:39:22,235 --> 00:39:24,361
in hopes of distracting themselves
from the pathetic emptiness
558
00:39:24,446 --> 00:39:25,529
of their meaningless...
559
00:39:25,613 --> 00:39:28,407
-Meaningless, consumer-driven lives.
-Meaningless, consumer-driven lives.
560
00:39:29,701 --> 00:39:31,118
Can you, forjust one night,
561
00:39:31,202 --> 00:39:34,663
forget that you're completely wretched
and be my sister?
562
00:39:34,914 --> 00:39:39,126
Please?
563
00:39:41,838 --> 00:39:44,882
Come on, Kat. Please do this for me.
564
00:39:47,260 --> 00:39:49,136
Fine. I'll make an appearance.
565
00:39:55,060 --> 00:39:57,978
-It's starting.
-It's just a party, Daddy.
566
00:40:01,024 --> 00:40:03,233
I want you to wear the belly.
567
00:40:03,568 --> 00:40:04,943
Daddy, no.
568
00:40:05,570 --> 00:40:07,071
Not all night.
569
00:40:07,155 --> 00:40:10,032
Just around the living room for a minute
so you can understand
570
00:40:10,116 --> 00:40:12,743
the full weight of your decisions.
571
00:40:14,788 --> 00:40:16,955
-I am perfectly aware...
-Listen to me.
572
00:40:17,040 --> 00:40:19,374
Every time you even think
about kissing a boy,
573
00:40:19,459 --> 00:40:22,169
I want you to picture wearing this
under your halter top.
574
00:40:22,253 --> 00:40:24,338
You are so completely unbalanced.
575
00:40:24,422 --> 00:40:27,299
-We're going now.
-All right, wait a minute.
576
00:40:27,634 --> 00:40:29,551
No drinking, no drugs, no kissing,
577
00:40:29,636 --> 00:40:33,847
no tattoos, no piercings,
no ritual animal slaughters of any kind.
578
00:40:34,182 --> 00:40:36,141
Oh, God, I'm giving them ideas.
579
00:40:36,643 --> 00:40:37,851
Daddy!
580
00:40:38,937 --> 00:40:41,480
-What are you doing here?
-9:30, right?
581
00:40:41,648 --> 00:40:44,983
-Oh, I'm early.
-Whatever. I'm driving.
582
00:40:46,194 --> 00:40:48,153
Who knocked up your sister?
583
00:40:51,324 --> 00:40:53,700
So then, Bianca says that I was right,
584
00:40:53,785 --> 00:40:56,453
that she didn't wear the Kenneth Coles
with that dress
585
00:40:56,538 --> 00:41:00,165
because she thought that it was
mixing genres, right?
586
00:41:00,333 --> 00:41:04,128
And the fact that I noticed,
and this is a direct quote, listen,
587
00:41:04,212 --> 00:41:06,505
"Really meant something."
588
00:41:06,589 --> 00:41:08,841
You told me that part already.
589
00:41:09,300 --> 00:41:10,801
I've been thinking about her
all the time.
590
00:41:10,885 --> 00:41:15,430
Stop being so self-involved
for one minute. How do I look?
591
00:41:16,307 --> 00:41:18,934
You look like my Great Uncle Milton.
592
00:41:19,185 --> 00:41:21,395
-You think I should lose the tie?
-Yeah.
593
00:41:21,479 --> 00:41:24,064
Maybe you're right. I'm just so nervous.
594
00:41:24,149 --> 00:41:27,025
And I'm also very excited.
I'm nervous, I'm excited.
595
00:41:27,193 --> 00:41:28,986
It's all very mixed up.
I don't know what to do!
596
00:41:29,070 --> 00:41:31,780
All right, just calm down, all right?
597
00:41:32,198 --> 00:41:35,117
The last party I went to
was at Chuck E. Cheese.
598
00:41:35,743 --> 00:41:39,079
You want to talk about some fun.
That's a good time.
599
00:42:02,896 --> 00:42:05,731
Now, remember, guys.
Don't touch anything.
600
00:42:08,776 --> 00:42:10,736
What did I tell you?
601
00:42:12,906 --> 00:42:15,115
Must be Nigel with the Brie.
602
00:42:41,768 --> 00:42:44,895
You know, I'm...
I'm thinking of getting a Tercel.
603
00:42:46,064 --> 00:42:47,981
Yeah, that's a Toyota.
604
00:42:49,776 --> 00:42:53,278
It has dual side air bags
and a spacious back seat.
605
00:43:00,078 --> 00:43:02,371
-Kiss me!
-Kiss him.
606
00:43:02,455 --> 00:43:03,914
-Okay.
-Good.
607
00:43:08,127 --> 00:43:09,211
Hey, thanks, man!
608
00:43:13,174 --> 00:43:14,466
Sweet.
609
00:43:15,510 --> 00:43:17,886
Looking fresh tonight, pussycat.
610
00:43:18,471 --> 00:43:21,682
Wait. Was that...
Did your hairline just recede?
611
00:43:22,767 --> 00:43:25,102
-Hey, where are you goin'?
-Away.
612
00:43:25,728 --> 00:43:27,980
-Your sister here?
-Stay away from my sister.
613
00:43:28,064 --> 00:43:30,691
Oh, I'll stay away from your sister.
614
00:43:30,817 --> 00:43:33,151
But I can't guarantee
she'll stay away from me.
615
00:43:33,653 --> 00:43:37,489
-Fight!
-Fight!
616
00:43:45,164 --> 00:43:47,040
You guys, please! Take it outside!
617
00:43:53,089 --> 00:43:54,548
Thank you!
618
00:43:56,968 --> 00:43:59,678
Hey, Kat. Look who found me.
619
00:44:01,180 --> 00:44:04,391
-Bianca, wait.
-Please do not address me in public.
620
00:44:04,475 --> 00:44:05,684
No, there's something I need to tell you.
621
00:44:05,768 --> 00:44:10,105
I am busy enjoying my adolescence,
so scamper off and do the same.
622
00:44:10,189 --> 00:44:11,356
Bu-bye.
623
00:44:14,902 --> 00:44:16,153
Want one?
624
00:44:17,071 --> 00:44:19,489
-What is this?
-Right on, sister!
625
00:44:20,825 --> 00:44:22,868
I've been looking
all over the place for you.
626
00:44:22,952 --> 00:44:25,662
I'm getting trashed, man. Isn't that
what you're supposed to do at a party?
627
00:44:25,747 --> 00:44:28,040
I don't know.
I say do what you want to do.
628
00:44:28,124 --> 00:44:30,125
Funny. You're the only one.
629
00:44:30,501 --> 00:44:31,710
Later.
630
00:44:44,432 --> 00:44:46,975
Lord of the dance! Hi, Heather.
631
00:44:47,060 --> 00:44:49,895
-Bite me.
-Should've kept the tie.
632
00:44:50,063 --> 00:44:52,939
Hey. Hey, have you seen her
around anywhere?
633
00:44:53,149 --> 00:44:55,192
-Relax.
-Relax? I'm fine.
634
00:44:56,361 --> 00:44:57,861
Follow the love.
635
00:45:00,948 --> 00:45:02,324
Hi, Bianca.
636
00:45:03,284 --> 00:45:04,951
Oh, hi, Cameron.
637
00:45:07,330 --> 00:45:09,289
You know Chastity?
638
00:45:10,333 --> 00:45:13,585
Yeah. I think
we have art together, right?
639
00:45:13,669 --> 00:45:14,836
Neat.
640
00:45:16,756 --> 00:45:18,757
So, you...
641
00:45:19,425 --> 00:45:21,385
You really look amazing.
642
00:45:22,762 --> 00:45:25,597
-Thanks.
-And we all know I look amazing.
643
00:45:27,141 --> 00:45:28,225
Yeah.
644
00:45:28,309 --> 00:45:32,145
Bianca, let's go. We're all
congregating around Mr. Cuervo.
645
00:45:32,855 --> 00:45:34,898
I'll see you around, okay?
646
00:45:47,787 --> 00:45:49,704
So, I've got
the Sears catalog thing going,
647
00:45:49,789 --> 00:45:53,041
and the tube sock gig,
that is gonna be huge.
648
00:45:55,962 --> 00:45:58,296
And I'm up for
a hemorrhoid cream ad next week.
649
00:45:58,381 --> 00:46:00,882
I know it sounds kind of bogus, but...
650
00:46:00,967 --> 00:46:03,009
I get to do some acting.
651
00:46:11,561 --> 00:46:13,603
You see what I did there?
652
00:46:14,814 --> 00:46:18,024
That was underwear. I'll show you
the bathing suit one again.
653
00:46:20,987 --> 00:46:22,904
You see the difference?
654
00:46:24,574 --> 00:46:26,491
All right, I'll show you guys.
655
00:46:57,356 --> 00:47:00,025
Is it me, or does this party
all of a sudden suck?
656
00:47:06,824 --> 00:47:08,950
Really, really,
657
00:47:09,076 --> 00:47:10,452
thank you!
658
00:47:11,370 --> 00:47:13,914
Hey. Hey, Kat, why don't you
let me have this one, huh?
659
00:47:13,998 --> 00:47:15,790
No! This one's mine.
660
00:47:16,918 --> 00:47:19,878
My man! How did you get her to do it?
661
00:47:19,962 --> 00:47:21,671
-Do what?
-Act like a human.
662
00:47:24,133 --> 00:47:25,717
Yeah! All right!
663
00:47:26,511 --> 00:47:27,594
Go!
664
00:47:32,308 --> 00:47:33,725
See this?
665
00:48:05,967 --> 00:48:08,009
-Are you okay?
-I'm fine.
666
00:48:10,930 --> 00:48:12,931
You're not fine. Come on.
667
00:48:14,684 --> 00:48:15,934
I just need to lie down.
668
00:48:16,018 --> 00:48:18,311
You lie down and you'll go to sleep.
669
00:48:18,396 --> 00:48:21,064
-Sleep is good.
-Not if you have a concussion.
670
00:48:21,274 --> 00:48:23,233
Come on. Here, sit down.
671
00:48:24,569 --> 00:48:27,112
-Sit.
-Hey, hey, we need to talk.
672
00:48:27,196 --> 00:48:30,782
-I'm a little busy right now.
-Can you give me a second?
673
00:48:35,037 --> 00:48:37,247
-What?
-It's off, okay? The whole thing's off.
674
00:48:37,331 --> 00:48:39,416
What are you talking about?
675
00:48:40,126 --> 00:48:43,169
She never wanted me.
She wanted Joey the whole time.
676
00:48:43,254 --> 00:48:45,422
Cameron, do you like the girl?
677
00:48:45,881 --> 00:48:48,800
-Yeah.
-And is she worth all this trouble?
678
00:48:49,343 --> 00:48:50,802
I thought she was, but, you know, I...
679
00:48:50,886 --> 00:48:52,804
Well, she is or she isn't.
680
00:48:52,888 --> 00:48:55,473
See, first of all,
Joey is not half the man you are.
681
00:48:55,558 --> 00:48:57,475
Secondly, don't let anyone
ever make you feel
682
00:48:57,560 --> 00:49:00,186
like you don't deserve what you want.
683
00:49:00,730 --> 00:49:02,105
Go for it!
684
00:49:06,068 --> 00:49:07,611
-Come on.
-Why?
685
00:49:18,414 --> 00:49:19,581
This is so patronizing.
686
00:49:19,665 --> 00:49:22,250
Leave it to you to use
big words when you're smashed.
687
00:49:22,335 --> 00:49:25,337
-I don't think so.
-Kat.
688
00:49:27,173 --> 00:49:30,258
-Why are you doing this?
-I told you. You may have a concussion.
689
00:49:30,343 --> 00:49:31,885
You don't care if I never wake up.
690
00:49:31,969 --> 00:49:34,012
-Sure I do.
-Why?
691
00:49:34,263 --> 00:49:37,182
Because then I'd have to start
taking out girls who actually like me.
692
00:49:37,266 --> 00:49:39,392
-Like you could find one.
-Oh, see? That, there.
693
00:49:39,477 --> 00:49:41,561
Who needs affection
when I have blind hatred?
694
00:49:41,646 --> 00:49:45,106
-I just... Let me sit down for a while.
-All right. There.
695
00:50:00,539 --> 00:50:02,624
-So, why'd you let him get to you?
-Who?
696
00:50:02,708 --> 00:50:04,918
-Joey.
-I hate him.
697
00:50:07,046 --> 00:50:10,674
Well, you've chosen the perfect
revenge, mainlining tequila.
698
00:50:12,051 --> 00:50:15,512
-Well, you know what they say.
-Nope. What do they say?
699
00:50:16,722 --> 00:50:19,933
No, no, no, no. Kat, come on, wake up!
Look at me!
700
00:50:20,476 --> 00:50:23,019
Listen to me, Kat! Open your eyes!
701
00:50:28,943 --> 00:50:30,068
Hey.
702
00:50:31,070 --> 00:50:33,238
Your eyes have a little green in them.
703
00:50:51,257 --> 00:50:52,674
I don't know if we should go.
704
00:50:52,758 --> 00:50:55,677
Hey, a bunch of us
are going to Jarrett's. Ready?
705
00:50:55,761 --> 00:50:58,263
I have to be home in 20 minutes.
706
00:50:58,431 --> 00:51:01,683
Well, you know I don't have to be home
till 2:00, so...
707
00:51:02,017 --> 00:51:05,729
-One more chance.
-Man, I can't.
708
00:51:05,938 --> 00:51:07,981
-Damn.
-That's a shame.
709
00:51:09,358 --> 00:51:11,276
-You wanna go?
-Sure.
710
00:51:11,360 --> 00:51:13,445
-Chastity!
-Hey, you passed.
711
00:51:14,530 --> 00:51:15,739
Bitch.
712
00:51:20,327 --> 00:51:22,829
-Hey. Have fun tonight?
-Tons.
713
00:51:23,873 --> 00:51:26,082
Hey, Cameron?
714
00:51:27,460 --> 00:51:30,420
Do you think you could
give me a ride home?
715
00:51:33,924 --> 00:51:35,633
I should do this.
716
00:51:35,718 --> 00:51:37,427
-Do what?
-This!
717
00:51:38,637 --> 00:51:41,473
-Start a band?
-No, install car stereos.
718
00:51:41,640 --> 00:51:45,143
Yeah, start a band.
My father would love that.
719
00:51:58,532 --> 00:52:02,494
You don't strike me as the type that
would ask your father for permission.
720
00:52:02,578 --> 00:52:05,997
-Oh, so now you think you know me?
-I'm getting there.
721
00:52:06,081 --> 00:52:09,501
The only thing people know
about me is that I'm scary.
722
00:52:10,836 --> 00:52:13,505
Yeah, well, I'm no picnic myself.
723
00:52:21,555 --> 00:52:25,517
So what's up with your dad?
Is he... Is he a pain in the ass?
724
00:52:25,601 --> 00:52:27,977
No, he just wants me to be
somebody that I'm not.
725
00:52:28,062 --> 00:52:29,771
-Who?
-Bianca.
726
00:52:29,855 --> 00:52:31,272
Oh, Bianca.
727
00:52:35,110 --> 00:52:38,071
No offense or anything... I mean
I know everyone "digs" your sister,
728
00:52:38,155 --> 00:52:40,865
but she's without.
729
00:52:48,374 --> 00:52:49,624
You know,
730
00:52:51,710 --> 00:52:54,462
you're not as vile
as I thought you were.
731
00:53:05,099 --> 00:53:07,809
Maybe we should do this another time.
732
00:53:52,396 --> 00:53:55,481
You never wanted
to go sailing with me, did you?
733
00:53:56,984 --> 00:53:58,276
Yes, I did.
734
00:53:59,695 --> 00:54:01,154
No, you didn't.
735
00:54:02,907 --> 00:54:05,533
Okay, no, not actually...
736
00:54:05,618 --> 00:54:08,328
Well, then that's all you had to say.
737
00:54:10,539 --> 00:54:12,999
Have you always been this selfish?
738
00:54:16,128 --> 00:54:17,503
Yes.
739
00:54:21,425 --> 00:54:22,759
You know, just 'cause you're beautiful,
740
00:54:22,843 --> 00:54:27,013
that doesn't mean that you can
treat people like they don't matter.
741
00:54:27,264 --> 00:54:30,099
I mean, I really liked you, okay.
742
00:54:30,184 --> 00:54:33,019
I defended you
when people called you conceited,
743
00:54:33,103 --> 00:54:35,188
I helped you when you asked me to,
744
00:54:35,272 --> 00:54:39,442
I learned French for you and then
you just blow me off so you could...
745
00:55:09,765 --> 00:55:11,849
And I'm back in the game!
746
00:55:15,312 --> 00:55:19,607
Kat, me lady.
You szay to the rhythm of me heart.
747
00:55:19,900 --> 00:55:21,609
Dance for me, cozgirl.
748
00:55:21,735 --> 00:55:24,988
Kat, babe, what do we oze you
for the table dance?
749
00:55:26,115 --> 00:55:28,574
All right, not that I give a damn,
but how was everybody's weekend?
750
00:55:28,659 --> 00:55:31,452
Oh, I don't know.
Maybe we should ask Kat.
751
00:55:32,037 --> 00:55:34,163
Unless she kicked the crap
out of your dumb butt,
752
00:55:34,248 --> 00:55:36,207
I don't wanna hear about it.
753
00:55:36,291 --> 00:55:41,045
Okay, let's open up our books
to page 73, Sonnet 141.
754
00:55:41,130 --> 00:55:42,588
And listen up.
755
00:55:42,673 --> 00:55:44,632
"In faith, I do not love thee
with mine eyes
756
00:55:44,717 --> 00:55:46,843
"For they in thee
a thousand errors note
757
00:55:46,927 --> 00:55:49,053
"But 'tis my heart that loves
what they despise
758
00:55:49,138 --> 00:55:51,973
"Who, in despite of view,
is pleas'd to dote"
759
00:55:53,600 --> 00:55:56,769
Now, I know Shakespeare's
a dead white guy,
760
00:55:56,854 --> 00:55:59,397
but he knozs his shit,
so we can overlook that.
761
00:55:59,481 --> 00:56:02,233
I want you all to write
your own version of this sonnet.
762
00:56:04,653 --> 00:56:07,697
Yes, Miss I-Have-An-Opinion-
About-Everything?
763
00:56:07,865 --> 00:56:10,491
Do you want this in iambic pentameter?
764
00:56:11,326 --> 00:56:13,036
You're not gonna fight me on this?
765
00:56:13,120 --> 00:56:15,872
No, I think
it's a really good assignment.
766
00:56:16,832 --> 00:56:18,207
You're just
messin' with me, aren't you?
767
00:56:18,292 --> 00:56:21,127
No, I'm really looking forward
to writing it.
768
00:56:21,211 --> 00:56:22,462
Get out of my class.
769
00:56:22,546 --> 00:56:24,881
-What?
-Out. Get out!
770
00:56:31,805 --> 00:56:34,098
-Thanks, Mr. Morgan.
-Shut up.
771
00:56:57,831 --> 00:57:00,708
Hey. Cool picture.
772
00:57:01,710 --> 00:57:04,462
What's that collar for? Is that
to keep him from licking his stitches?
773
00:57:08,092 --> 00:57:12,178
Kidding. No, because I know
you're a fan of Shakespeare.
774
00:57:12,262 --> 00:57:15,556
More than a fan. We're involved.
775
00:57:16,517 --> 00:57:17,683
Okay.
776
00:57:19,353 --> 00:57:22,313
"Who could refrain
That had a heart to love
777
00:57:23,065 --> 00:57:26,651
-"and in that heart..."
-"Courage to make love known."
778
00:57:27,528 --> 00:57:29,946
-That's Macbeth, right?
-Right.
779
00:57:32,324 --> 00:57:35,284
So, listen, I... I have this friend,
780
00:57:36,328 --> 00:57:38,329
and he likes your friend...
781
00:57:45,712 --> 00:57:47,547
What did you do to her?
782
00:57:47,631 --> 00:57:49,924
I didn't do anything. She would've been
too drunk to remember.
783
00:57:50,008 --> 00:57:51,801
But the plan was working.
784
00:57:51,885 --> 00:57:54,679
What do you care?
I thought you wanted out.
785
00:57:55,013 --> 00:57:57,473
Yeah, well, I did, but
786
00:57:57,558 --> 00:57:59,684
that was until she kissed me.
787
00:58:01,019 --> 00:58:03,146
-Where?
-In the car.
788
00:58:06,567 --> 00:58:07,650
Sorry.
789
00:58:07,734 --> 00:58:09,569
-Dweeb! Putz!
-I'm sorry.
790
00:58:09,653 --> 00:58:11,571
All right, I talked to her.
791
00:58:11,655 --> 00:58:12,905
-I got the scoop.
-What'd she say?
792
00:58:12,990 --> 00:58:15,449
"Hates him with the fire
of a thousand suns."
793
00:58:15,534 --> 00:58:17,368
That's a direct quote.
794
00:58:17,870 --> 00:58:21,038
Thanks, Michael.
That's very comforting of you.
795
00:58:21,832 --> 00:58:24,959
We don't know.
She could need a day to cool off.
796
00:58:31,842 --> 00:58:33,217
Maybe two.
797
00:58:43,145 --> 00:58:44,187
Hey!
798
00:58:44,271 --> 00:58:48,065
Can you imagine who would go
to that antiquated mating ritual?
799
00:58:48,275 --> 00:58:50,610
I would, but I don't have a date.
800
00:58:51,028 --> 00:58:52,403
Do you really want
to get all dressed up,
801
00:58:52,487 --> 00:58:55,907
so some Drakkar Noir-wearing dexter
with a boner can feel you up
802
00:58:55,991 --> 00:58:59,202
while you're forced to listen
to a band that by definition blozs?
803
00:58:59,286 --> 00:59:01,204
All right, all right, we won't go.
804
00:59:01,288 --> 00:59:03,873
It's not like I've got a dress anyway.
805
00:59:04,333 --> 00:59:06,792
You're looking at this
from entirely the wrong perspective.
806
00:59:06,877 --> 00:59:08,377
We're making a statement.
807
00:59:08,462 --> 00:59:11,881
Oh, goody.
Something new and different for us.
808
00:59:29,149 --> 00:59:32,610
-Hey there, Cupid.
-Hi, Joey.
809
00:59:33,070 --> 00:59:36,405
You're concentrating awfully hard
considering it's gym class.
810
00:59:37,324 --> 00:59:40,451
-Can I help you?
-I want to talk to you about prom.
811
00:59:46,083 --> 00:59:49,085
Look, you know the deal.
I can't go if Kat doesn't go.
812
00:59:49,169 --> 00:59:51,087
Your sister is going.
813
00:59:52,130 --> 00:59:56,259
-Since when?
-Let's just say I'm taking care of it.
814
01:00:01,348 --> 01:00:04,809
This should take care of the
flozers, the limo, the tux, everything.
815
01:00:04,893 --> 01:00:07,353
Just make sure she gets to the prom.
816
01:00:07,729 --> 01:00:11,023
Do you know what?
I'm sick of playing your little game.
817
01:00:11,108 --> 01:00:12,942
Okay, wait, wait, wait.
818
01:00:13,026 --> 01:00:16,445
You sick of, let's say, 300?
819
01:01:39,112 --> 01:01:41,113
Excuse me. Have you
seen The Feminine Mystique?
820
01:01:41,198 --> 01:01:42,323
I've lost my copy.
821
01:01:42,407 --> 01:01:45,493
-What are you doing here?
-I heard there was a poetry reading.
822
01:01:45,577 --> 01:01:47,495
-You're so...
-Charming.
823
01:01:48,413 --> 01:01:50,206
Wholesome.
824
01:01:50,290 --> 01:01:51,791
Unwelcome.
825
01:01:54,544 --> 01:01:56,879
You're not as mean as you think
you are, you know that?
826
01:01:56,963 --> 01:01:59,382
And you're not as badass
as you think you are.
827
01:01:59,466 --> 01:02:01,801
Someone still has her panties in a twist.
828
01:02:01,885 --> 01:02:05,137
Don't for one minute think that you had
any effect whatsoever on my panties.
829
01:02:05,222 --> 01:02:06,680
Then what did I have an effect on?
830
01:02:06,765 --> 01:02:09,558
Other than my upchuck reflex, nothing.
831
01:02:22,072 --> 01:02:24,240
You're right, she's still pissed.
832
01:02:24,324 --> 01:02:26,367
"Sweet love, renew thy force"
833
01:02:26,451 --> 01:02:30,413
Hey! Don't say shit like that to me.
People can hear you.
834
01:02:30,497 --> 01:02:32,373
Look, you embarrassed the girl.
835
01:02:32,457 --> 01:02:36,085
Sacrifice yourself on the altar of dignity
and even the score.
836
01:02:39,589 --> 01:02:42,425
Listen, don't say shit like that to him.
837
01:02:42,759 --> 01:02:44,593
People can hear you.
838
01:03:15,083 --> 01:03:18,919
You're just too good to be true
839
01:03:19,004 --> 01:03:22,798
Can't take my eyes off of you
840
01:03:22,883 --> 01:03:25,843
You'd be like heaven to touch
841
01:03:26,511 --> 01:03:29,430
l wanna hold you so much
842
01:03:30,432 --> 01:03:33,684
At long last love has arrived
843
01:03:34,436 --> 01:03:37,438
And l thank God l'm alive
844
01:03:38,315 --> 01:03:41,233
You're just too good to be true
845
01:03:42,068 --> 01:03:45,946
Can't take my eyes off of you
846
01:04:02,964 --> 01:04:05,633
l love you, baby
847
01:04:05,717 --> 01:04:09,553
And if it's quite all right
l need you, baby
848
01:04:09,638 --> 01:04:13,849
To warm the lonely night
l love you, baby
849
01:04:14,100 --> 01:04:18,312
Trust in me when l say
850
01:04:18,396 --> 01:04:20,940
Oh, pretty baby
851
01:04:21,024 --> 01:04:24,818
Don't bring me down, l pray
Oh, pretty baby
852
01:04:24,903 --> 01:04:30,157
Now that l found you, stay
and let me love you, baby
853
01:04:30,242 --> 01:04:35,037
Let me love you
854
01:05:20,625 --> 01:05:22,751
You look pretty nervous.
855
01:05:23,628 --> 01:05:25,379
Yes, sir.
856
01:05:25,463 --> 01:05:27,548
You're szeating like a pig.
857
01:05:28,383 --> 01:05:29,717
Yes, sir.
858
01:05:29,801 --> 01:05:32,219
Your eyes are all bloodshot.
859
01:05:33,763 --> 01:05:34,888
Yes, sir.
860
01:05:34,973 --> 01:05:37,349
You've got pot, don't you?
861
01:05:43,523 --> 01:05:45,524
I'm confiscating this.
862
01:05:55,035 --> 01:05:56,452
This, too.
863
01:06:01,207 --> 01:06:03,959
Mr. Chapin, can I talk to you
for a second?
864
01:06:04,044 --> 01:06:05,628
What can I do for you, Stratford?
865
01:06:05,712 --> 01:06:08,631
I have some ideas on how
we can improve the girls' soccer team.
866
01:06:08,715 --> 01:06:11,050
Great! Let's talk about it later.
867
01:06:13,720 --> 01:06:18,140
The window.
868
01:06:20,894 --> 01:06:23,562
As you know, we have
a really big game with Hillcrest High...
869
01:06:23,647 --> 01:06:25,147
Your bicep is huge!
870
01:06:25,231 --> 01:06:27,900
Oh, my God.
The other one's even bigger.
871
01:06:28,234 --> 01:06:30,569
You don't take steroids, do you,
because I've heard steroids
872
01:06:30,695 --> 01:06:33,238
can severely disintegrate
your package?
873
01:06:34,407 --> 01:06:36,158
Not that I'm thinking about
your package.
874
01:06:36,242 --> 01:06:38,369
-That's not the point.
-Let's hope not.
875
01:06:39,537 --> 01:06:42,164
The point is they kick our butts
every year.
876
01:06:42,248 --> 01:06:46,877
I was thinking, I devised a plan that
will enable us to finally defeat them.
877
01:06:47,003 --> 01:06:48,420
Which is?
878
01:06:48,838 --> 01:06:51,757
-That thing that you taught us.
-What thing?
879
01:06:52,092 --> 01:06:54,093
-Misdirection.
-I taught you that?
880
01:06:54,177 --> 01:06:57,930
Yeah, you or Siegfried or Roy?
Anyway, that's not important.
881
01:06:59,099 --> 01:07:00,683
The... Think about it.
882
01:07:00,767 --> 01:07:03,435
They're looking left
and we're running right.
883
01:07:03,561 --> 01:07:05,604
Bang, we score. We win.
884
01:07:06,439 --> 01:07:08,440
Okay, but how do we get 'em
to look left?
885
01:07:10,276 --> 01:07:11,777
Like this.
886
01:07:19,285 --> 01:07:21,620
Okay. Well,
887
01:07:22,914 --> 01:07:25,290
now that you've seen "the plan,"
888
01:07:25,583 --> 01:07:29,878
I'm gonna go and show "the plan"
to someone else.
889
01:07:31,923 --> 01:07:33,048
Okay.
890
01:07:33,800 --> 01:07:34,925
Hi.
891
01:07:43,643 --> 01:07:46,145
I can't thank you enough
for helping me sneak out of detention.
892
01:07:46,271 --> 01:07:48,147
-Very cool.
-No problem.
893
01:07:48,314 --> 01:07:51,483
I thought for sure I was busted when I
was climbing out that window, I tell ya.
894
01:07:51,568 --> 01:07:53,902
So, how did you keep him distracted?
895
01:07:53,987 --> 01:07:56,739
I dazzled him with my wits.
896
01:08:00,452 --> 01:08:02,828
-So, what's your excuse?
-For?
897
01:08:03,163 --> 01:08:05,122
For acting the way we do?
898
01:08:06,166 --> 01:08:08,417
I don't like to do what people expect.
899
01:08:08,501 --> 01:08:11,670
Why should I live up to other people's
expectations instead of my own?
900
01:08:11,796 --> 01:08:15,090
So, you disappoint 'em from the start
and then you're covered, right?
901
01:08:16,342 --> 01:08:18,343
Something like that.
902
01:08:19,679 --> 01:08:22,181
-Then you screzed up.
-How?
903
01:08:23,975 --> 01:08:26,018
You never disappointed me.
904
01:08:34,819 --> 01:08:36,361
Are you up for it?
905
01:08:37,030 --> 01:08:38,530
Up for what?
906
01:10:01,739 --> 01:10:03,365
All right, come on.
907
01:10:18,464 --> 01:10:20,465
No, none of that stuff is true.
908
01:10:20,592 --> 01:10:23,969
-State trooper.
-Fallacy. Dead guy in the parking lot?
909
01:10:24,095 --> 01:10:25,971
Rumor. The duck?
910
01:10:26,055 --> 01:10:28,307
Hearsay. Bobby Ridgezay's balls?
911
01:10:28,641 --> 01:10:31,143
Fact. But he deserved it.
He tried to grope me in the lunch line.
912
01:10:31,269 --> 01:10:33,270
-Fair enough.
-The accent?
913
01:10:33,646 --> 01:10:37,149
It's real.
I lived in Australia until I was 1 0.
914
01:10:37,483 --> 01:10:40,277
-With the Pygmies?
-Close.
915
01:10:40,486 --> 01:10:41,987
With my mom.
916
01:10:43,656 --> 01:10:46,825
Where were you last year?
I know the porn career is a lie.
917
01:10:46,910 --> 01:10:48,243
Do you?
918
01:10:56,502 --> 01:10:59,296
-Tell me something true.
-Something true.
919
01:11:02,342 --> 01:11:03,800
I hate peas.
920
01:11:04,344 --> 01:11:07,930
No. Something real.
Something no one else knozs.
921
01:11:08,097 --> 01:11:10,515
Okay. You're szeet,
922
01:11:13,186 --> 01:11:14,686
and sexy,
923
01:11:16,481 --> 01:11:18,523
and completely hot for me.
924
01:11:20,193 --> 01:11:22,945
You are amazingly self-assured.
Has anyone ever told you that?
925
01:11:23,029 --> 01:11:25,864
I tell myself that every day, actually.
926
01:11:28,993 --> 01:11:32,788
-Go to the prom with me.
-Is that a request or a command?
927
01:11:32,872 --> 01:11:35,040
Come on. Go with me.
928
01:11:35,541 --> 01:11:38,543
-No.
-No? Why not?
929
01:11:39,045 --> 01:11:41,046
Because I don't want to.
Because it's a stupid tradition.
930
01:11:41,172 --> 01:11:43,882
Come on.
People won't expect you to go.
931
01:11:44,717 --> 01:11:46,843
Why are you pushing this?
932
01:11:49,222 --> 01:11:51,014
What's in it for you?
933
01:11:54,560 --> 01:11:58,146
So now I need to have a motive
to want to be with you?
934
01:11:58,231 --> 01:11:59,731
You tell me.
935
01:12:01,901 --> 01:12:03,235
You need therapy, you know that?
936
01:12:03,361 --> 01:12:05,862
Has anyone ever told you that?
937
01:12:06,698 --> 01:12:08,573
-Anszer the question, Patrick.
-Nothing!
938
01:12:08,658 --> 01:12:09,658
There is nothing in it for me,
939
01:12:09,742 --> 01:12:12,327
just the pleasure of your company.
Okay?
940
01:12:37,228 --> 01:12:40,188
Wait. Wait a minute.
That... That's not on this page.
941
01:13:19,771 --> 01:13:20,979
Seven!
942
01:13:23,983 --> 01:13:25,150
Good.
943
01:13:29,489 --> 01:13:31,782
-Daddy?
-Hi, honey.
944
01:13:32,325 --> 01:13:37,079
I'd like to discuss tomorrow night
with you. As you know, it's the prom...
945
01:13:42,919 --> 01:13:45,337
The prom? Kat has a date?
946
01:13:46,172 --> 01:13:47,672
Well, no.
947
01:13:49,008 --> 01:13:50,092
Don't think you're fooling me.
948
01:13:50,176 --> 01:13:51,510
I know who you wanna
bend the rules for.
949
01:13:51,594 --> 01:13:53,512
It's that hot-rod Joey.
950
01:13:53,596 --> 01:13:55,263
What's a hot rod?
951
01:13:56,015 --> 01:14:00,435
It's a... If your sister's not going,
you're not going. End of story.
952
01:14:01,437 --> 01:14:03,188
Okay, let's review.
953
01:14:03,314 --> 01:14:06,358
Kat, not interested, me, dying to go.
954
01:14:06,609 --> 01:14:08,693
Do you know what happens at proms?
955
01:14:08,778 --> 01:14:11,530
Yes, Daddy. We'll dance,
we'll kiss, we'll come home.
956
01:14:11,614 --> 01:14:14,116
It's not quite the crisis situation
you imagine.
957
01:14:14,200 --> 01:14:16,284
Kissing, huh?
That's what you think happens?
958
01:14:16,369 --> 01:14:17,452
Got nezs for you.
959
01:14:17,537 --> 01:14:22,040
Kissing isn't what keeps me up to
my elbozs in placenta all day long.
960
01:14:22,542 --> 01:14:25,460
Can we for two seconds ignore the fact
that you're severely unhinged,
961
01:14:25,545 --> 01:14:28,046
and discuss my need for a night
of teenage normalcy?
962
01:14:28,131 --> 01:14:31,216
What's normal?
Those damn Dazson's River kids,
963
01:14:31,300 --> 01:14:34,052
sleeping in each other's beds
and whatnot?
964
01:14:34,637 --> 01:14:36,805
-Daddy, that is so not...
-Got nezs for ya.
965
01:14:36,889 --> 01:14:38,557
I'm down. I've got the 4-1 -1 .
966
01:14:38,641 --> 01:14:40,976
And you are not going out
and getting jiggy with some boy.
967
01:14:41,060 --> 01:14:43,562
I don't care how dope his ride is.
968
01:14:48,568 --> 01:14:50,986
My mama didn't raise no fool.
969
01:14:52,405 --> 01:14:53,905
Thanks, Bill.
970
01:14:55,658 --> 01:14:58,785
Ridiculous amounts of love
across this nation worldwide.
971
01:14:59,203 --> 01:15:00,412
Believe it.
972
01:15:01,747 --> 01:15:03,665
This is the true story.
973
01:15:05,251 --> 01:15:06,418
Seattle.
974
01:15:08,921 --> 01:15:10,338
Come in.
975
01:15:16,596 --> 01:15:18,263
Listen, I know...
976
01:15:21,267 --> 01:15:24,436
I know you hate having to sit at home
because I'm not Suzy High School.
977
01:15:24,562 --> 01:15:26,771
-Like you care.
-I do care.
978
01:15:27,940 --> 01:15:30,609
But I'm a firm believer in doing
something for your own reasons,
979
01:15:30,693 --> 01:15:32,694
and not someone else's.
980
01:15:33,613 --> 01:15:35,614
Well, I wish I had that luxury.
981
01:15:35,698 --> 01:15:38,450
You know, I'm the only sophomore
that got asked to go to the prom,
982
01:15:38,534 --> 01:15:41,453
and I can't go
because you don't feel like it.
983
01:15:45,458 --> 01:15:48,710
Joey never told you
that we went out, did he?
984
01:15:48,794 --> 01:15:52,297
-Yeah, okay.
-In ninth, for a month.
985
01:15:58,971 --> 01:16:02,265
-Why?
-Because he was, like, such a babe.
986
01:16:03,309 --> 01:16:06,102
-But you hate Joey.
-Now I do.
987
01:16:06,979 --> 01:16:08,480
So, what happened?
988
01:16:15,821 --> 01:16:17,739
Please tell me you're joking.
989
01:16:17,823 --> 01:16:21,243
Just once, right after Mom left.
990
01:16:22,495 --> 01:16:24,913
Everyone was doing it, so...
991
01:16:24,997 --> 01:16:26,331
I did it.
992
01:16:27,333 --> 01:16:30,669
Afterwards I told him I didn't want to
anymore because I wasn't ready,
993
01:16:30,795 --> 01:16:33,296
and he got pissed and he dumped me.
994
01:16:34,507 --> 01:16:36,341
After that I szore I'd never do anything
995
01:16:36,425 --> 01:16:38,260
just because everyone else
was doing it.
996
01:16:38,344 --> 01:16:40,011
And I haven't since,
997
01:16:40,638 --> 01:16:42,264
with the exception of Bogey's party
998
01:16:42,348 --> 01:16:44,975
and my stunning
digestive pyrotechnics.
999
01:16:47,186 --> 01:16:50,355
How is it possible
that I did not know about this?
1000
01:16:50,856 --> 01:16:52,274
I warned him that if he told anyone,
1001
01:16:52,358 --> 01:16:56,027
the cheerleading squad would find out
how tiny his dick is.
1002
01:16:58,864 --> 01:17:01,700
Okay, so why didn't you tell me?
1003
01:17:03,536 --> 01:17:06,621
I wanted to let you
make up your mind about him.
1004
01:17:07,873 --> 01:17:10,834
Then why did you help Daddy
hold me hostage?
1005
01:17:11,210 --> 01:17:14,546
It's not like I'm stupid enough
to repeat your mistakes.
1006
01:17:14,630 --> 01:17:16,548
I guess I thought I was protecting you.
1007
01:17:16,674 --> 01:17:19,634
By not letting me experience
anything for myself?
1008
01:17:19,719 --> 01:17:22,387
Not all experiences are good, Bianca.
1009
01:17:22,471 --> 01:17:24,472
You can't always trust
the people you want to.
1010
01:17:24,557 --> 01:17:27,142
Well, I guess I'll never know, will I?
1011
01:18:12,271 --> 01:18:14,022
Ladies with thinning hair or bald spots,
1012
01:18:14,106 --> 01:18:18,610
G.L.H. solves the problem instantly.
G.L.H. is not a paint or a cover-up.
1013
01:18:19,070 --> 01:18:23,031
lt's an amazing powder that clings
to the tiniest hairs on your head.
1014
01:18:23,115 --> 01:18:24,949
lt actually builds on itself,
1015
01:18:25,034 --> 01:18:27,619
leaving you with great,
great-looking hair.
1016
01:18:27,745 --> 01:18:29,371
And the G.L.H. hair system
is not expensive.
1017
01:18:29,455 --> 01:18:30,538
Interesting.
1018
01:18:30,623 --> 01:18:33,041
Order your G.L.H. hair package now.
1019
01:18:33,793 --> 01:18:36,044
Bye, Dad. I'm going to the prom.
1020
01:18:36,587 --> 01:18:37,796
Funny, szeetie.
1021
01:18:38,255 --> 01:18:41,216
lt instantly covers your bald spot
leaving you with great looking hair.
1022
01:18:45,763 --> 01:18:47,889
-What's that?
-A prom dress.
1023
01:18:48,140 --> 01:18:50,767
I seem to be hearing that word
a lot lately.
1024
01:18:55,981 --> 01:18:59,150
-Hi.
-Wow. I...
1025
01:19:02,905 --> 01:19:04,447
Wow.
1026
01:19:05,074 --> 01:19:06,908
-Bye, Daddy.
-Stop.
1027
01:19:06,992 --> 01:19:09,786
Turn. Explain.
1028
01:19:11,163 --> 01:19:14,499
Okay. Remember how you said
I could date if Kat dated?
1029
01:19:14,583 --> 01:19:16,835
Well, she found this guy
who's actually kind of perfect for her
1030
01:19:16,961 --> 01:19:18,336
which is perfect for me,
1031
01:19:18,421 --> 01:19:21,256
because Cameron asked me to go to
the prom and I really, really wanna go,
1032
01:19:21,340 --> 01:19:24,509
and since Kat went, I guess I'm allozed
to, based on the aforementioned rule,
1033
01:19:24,635 --> 01:19:26,678
and its previous stipulations, of course.
1034
01:19:27,513 --> 01:19:29,431
-Nice to meet you.
-Let's go.
1035
01:19:33,185 --> 01:19:35,520
I know every cop in town, bucko!
1036
01:19:38,858 --> 01:19:40,608
This is not good.
1037
01:20:22,234 --> 01:20:23,401
Wow.
1038
01:20:24,904 --> 01:20:26,237
You, too.
1039
01:20:29,325 --> 01:20:30,909
Where'd you get a tux
at the last minute?
1040
01:20:30,993 --> 01:20:34,162
Oh, just something I had,
you know, lying around.
1041
01:20:34,538 --> 01:20:35,747
Where'd you get the dress?
1042
01:20:35,873 --> 01:20:38,416
Oh, just something I had,
you know, lying around.
1043
01:20:42,004 --> 01:20:45,840
Listen, I'm really sorry
that I questioned your motives.
1044
01:20:46,425 --> 01:20:48,051
I was wrong.
1045
01:20:49,929 --> 01:20:51,596
You're forgiven.
1046
01:20:54,391 --> 01:20:55,558
Okay.
1047
01:20:56,560 --> 01:20:58,937
-Ready for the prom?
-Yes, ma'am.
1048
01:21:12,618 --> 01:21:16,287
Hi, Mr. Stratford. I'm Joey.
I'm here to pick up Bianca.
1049
01:21:37,476 --> 01:21:39,143
-Have you seen him?
-Who?
1050
01:21:39,270 --> 01:21:41,938
William.
He asked me to meet him here.
1051
01:21:42,815 --> 01:21:44,566
Oh, Mandella,
please tell me you haven't
1052
01:21:44,650 --> 01:21:47,277
progressed to full-on hallucinations.
1053
01:22:09,925 --> 01:22:12,260
-Milady.
-Good sir.
1054
01:22:36,827 --> 01:22:38,536
Oh, my God, it's...
1055
01:22:40,289 --> 01:22:42,206
I called in a favor!
1056
01:23:39,598 --> 01:23:41,099
What are you doing here?
1057
01:23:41,225 --> 01:23:43,685
I know you didn't think you were
the only sophomore at the prom.
1058
01:23:43,769 --> 01:23:45,603
Joey just picked me up.
1059
01:23:45,688 --> 01:23:48,690
Oh, well, congratulations.
He's all yours.
1060
01:23:48,774 --> 01:23:50,441
Very generous, princess.
1061
01:23:50,526 --> 01:23:53,695
And just so you know,
Joey only liked you for one reason.
1062
01:23:53,779 --> 01:23:55,697
He even had a bet going
with his friends.
1063
01:23:55,781 --> 01:23:57,949
He was gonna nail you tonight.
1064
01:24:02,955 --> 01:24:05,206
-Milwaukee.
-What?
1065
01:24:05,416 --> 01:24:08,459
That's where I was last year.
I wasn't in jail.
1066
01:24:08,627 --> 01:24:09,877
I don't know Marilyn Manson
1067
01:24:09,962 --> 01:24:13,589
and I didn't sleep with a Spice Girl,
I don't think.
1068
01:24:13,757 --> 01:24:17,468
You see, my grandpa, he was ill
so I spent most of the year on his couch
1069
01:24:17,594 --> 01:24:20,888
watching Wheel ofFortune
and making SpaghettiOs.
1070
01:24:21,598 --> 01:24:23,099
End of story.
1071
01:24:23,726 --> 01:24:25,059
No way.
1072
01:24:27,271 --> 01:24:31,107
Hey. What's Bianca doing here
with that cheese dick?
1073
01:24:31,316 --> 01:24:36,154
I didn't pay you to take out Kat so some
little punk could snake me with Bianca.
1074
01:24:40,159 --> 01:24:42,285
Nothing in it for you, huh?
1075
01:24:53,672 --> 01:24:55,798
The shit hath hitteth
1076
01:24:55,924 --> 01:24:58,009
the faneth.
1077
01:25:01,847 --> 01:25:04,974
Joey, pal, compadre?
1078
01:25:08,020 --> 01:25:11,272
You messed with the wrong guy,
and now you're gonna pay.
1079
01:25:11,356 --> 01:25:13,983
You and that little bitch.
1080
01:25:14,777 --> 01:25:18,196
All right, that's enough, okay!
You crossed the line.
1081
01:25:20,365 --> 01:25:22,533
Oh, come on! Get up, you little punk!
1082
01:25:27,664 --> 01:25:30,875
Shit, Bianca!
I'm shooting a nose spray ad tomorrow!
1083
01:25:31,001 --> 01:25:34,462
That's for making my date bleed!
That's for my sister!
1084
01:25:35,547 --> 01:25:37,298
And that's for me.
1085
01:25:44,848 --> 01:25:46,349
Are you okay?
1086
01:25:47,351 --> 01:25:49,060
Never been better.
1087
01:25:58,070 --> 01:25:59,111
Would you give me a chance...
1088
01:25:59,196 --> 01:26:02,406
You were paid to take me out
by the one person I truly hate.
1089
01:26:02,533 --> 01:26:04,534
I knew this was a set-up!
1090
01:26:04,701 --> 01:26:07,078
Kat, it wasn't like that, okay.
1091
01:26:07,162 --> 01:26:09,831
What was it like, a down payment now
and a bonus for sleeping with me?
1092
01:26:09,915 --> 01:26:12,875
No, I didn't care about the money!
I cared...
1093
01:26:13,710 --> 01:26:15,545
I cared about you.
1094
01:26:17,089 --> 01:26:19,757
You are so not who I thought you were.
1095
01:27:02,718 --> 01:27:04,427
You want?
1096
01:27:04,636 --> 01:27:05,887
Thanks.
1097
01:27:07,139 --> 01:27:11,142
So, you sure you don't want
to go sailing with us? It'll be fun.
1098
01:27:11,602 --> 01:27:13,477
No, I'm fine.
1099
01:27:14,897 --> 01:27:18,983
Look, I don't know if I ever thanked you
for going last night,
1100
01:27:20,319 --> 01:27:22,653
but it really meant a lot to me.
1101
01:27:24,948 --> 01:27:26,282
I'm glad.
1102
01:27:28,410 --> 01:27:30,620
-Hey.
-Hey.
1103
01:27:30,829 --> 01:27:32,622
You ready?
1104
01:27:34,249 --> 01:27:35,958
-See you later.
-Bye.
1105
01:27:37,961 --> 01:27:40,463
-Is... Is she okay?
-I hope so.
1106
01:27:47,471 --> 01:27:49,347
Where's your sister going?
1107
01:27:49,598 --> 01:27:53,309
She's meeting some bikers,
big ones, full of sperm.
1108
01:27:55,270 --> 01:27:56,479
Funny.
1109
01:27:58,607 --> 01:28:01,484
So, tell me about this dance.
Was it hoppin'?
1110
01:28:02,611 --> 01:28:03,778
Parts of it.
1111
01:28:03,862 --> 01:28:05,154
Which parts?
1112
01:28:05,989 --> 01:28:08,950
The part where Bianca
beat the hell out of some guy.
1113
01:28:09,034 --> 01:28:10,451
Bianca did what?
1114
01:28:10,535 --> 01:28:13,788
What's the matter,
upset that I rubbed off on her?
1115
01:28:14,539 --> 01:28:16,040
No, impressed.
1116
01:28:20,671 --> 01:28:22,630
Fathers don't like to admit it
when their daughters
1117
01:28:22,714 --> 01:28:24,048
are capable of running their own lives.
1118
01:28:24,132 --> 01:28:26,634
It means we've become spectators.
1119
01:28:30,472 --> 01:28:35,184
Bianca still lets me play a few innings.
You've had me on the bench for years.
1120
01:28:37,562 --> 01:28:40,982
And when you go to Sarah Lawrence,
I won't even be able to watch the game.
1121
01:28:43,235 --> 01:28:44,735
When I go?
1122
01:28:45,904 --> 01:28:48,906
Oh, boy. Don't tell me
you changed your mind.
1123
01:28:49,908 --> 01:28:52,076
I already sent 'em a check.
1124
01:29:09,177 --> 01:29:12,680
All right, I assume everyone
has found time to complete their poem,
1125
01:29:12,764 --> 01:29:14,598
except for Mr. Donner,
1126
01:29:15,100 --> 01:29:16,767
who has an excuse.
1127
01:29:18,854 --> 01:29:20,938
Shaft, lose the glasses.
1128
01:29:24,860 --> 01:29:28,195
All right, anyone brave enough
to read theirs aloud?
1129
01:29:36,621 --> 01:29:37,872
I will.
1130
01:29:40,292 --> 01:29:41,792
Lord, here we go.
1131
01:29:50,677 --> 01:29:54,055
"I hate the way you talk to me
and the way you cut your hair
1132
01:29:54,139 --> 01:29:58,559
"I hate the way you drive my car
I hate it when you stare
1133
01:29:58,643 --> 01:30:02,521
"I hate your big dumb combat boots
and the way you read my mind
1134
01:30:02,647 --> 01:30:06,317
"I hate you so much it makes me sick
It even makes me rhyme
1135
01:30:08,612 --> 01:30:11,572
"I hate it...
I hate the way you're always right
1136
01:30:11,656 --> 01:30:13,783
"I hate it when you lie
1137
01:30:13,867 --> 01:30:17,953
"I hate it when you make me laugh
even worse when you make me cry
1138
01:30:19,498 --> 01:30:23,584
"I hate it when you're not around
and the fact that you didn't call
1139
01:30:23,668 --> 01:30:27,338
"But mostly, I hate the way
I don't hate you, not even close
1140
01:30:27,464 --> 01:30:30,049
"not even a little bit, not even at all"
1141
01:31:12,843 --> 01:31:16,262
-Nice, huh?
-A Fender Strat?
1142
01:31:16,888 --> 01:31:18,305
Is it for me?
1143
01:31:18,390 --> 01:31:22,143
Yeah, I thought you could use it,
you know, when you start your band.
1144
01:31:22,227 --> 01:31:24,937
Besides,
I had some extra cash, you know.
1145
01:31:25,063 --> 01:31:28,524
Some asshole paid me
to take out this really great girl.
1146
01:31:29,776 --> 01:31:31,527
Is that right?
1147
01:31:32,070 --> 01:31:35,531
Yeah, but I screzed up. I... I fell for her.
1148
01:31:38,118 --> 01:31:39,410
Really?
1149
01:31:40,954 --> 01:31:42,204
It's not every day you find a girl
1150
01:31:42,289 --> 01:31:45,583
who'll flash someone
to get you out of detention.
1151
01:31:46,418 --> 01:31:47,626
Oh, God.
1152
01:31:55,927 --> 01:31:59,638
You can't just buy me a guitar
every time you screw up, you know.
1153
01:32:00,056 --> 01:32:01,473
Yeah, I know.
1154
01:32:02,434 --> 01:32:06,145
But there's always drums and bass
and maybe even one day a tambourine.
1155
01:32:14,154 --> 01:32:15,279
And don't just think you can...
1156
01:34:46,598 --> 01:34:51,060
No offense. I know everyone "digs"
your sister and all,
1157
01:34:51,269 --> 01:34:52,811
but she's without.
1158
01:34:54,773 --> 01:34:58,734
You know, you're not as vile
as I thought you were.
1159
01:35:07,911 --> 01:35:10,621
You suck.
1160
01:35:10,830 --> 01:35:14,416
Okay. Let's go!
1161
01:35:16,336 --> 01:35:18,337
You're just messin' with me,
aren't you?
1162
01:35:18,463 --> 01:35:20,506
No, I'm really looking forward
to doing it.
1163
01:35:20,632 --> 01:35:21,882
Go see Miss Perky.
1164
01:35:21,966 --> 01:35:24,635
-What?
-Go. Perky's. Go, now.
1165
01:35:24,761 --> 01:35:27,638
Once again.
"Perky, now" is the second one.
1166
01:35:27,764 --> 01:35:30,516
-Perky's now. Perky's, now.
-Right away.
1167
01:35:30,642 --> 01:35:32,351
-Now, Perky's.
-Hey, hey.
1168
01:35:32,477 --> 01:35:35,229
-Now, Perky's. Perky's now.
-At the beginning of the shot.
1169
01:35:35,313 --> 01:35:36,688
Perk...
1170
01:35:40,276 --> 01:35:43,529
Bianca, let's go. We're all
congregating around Mr. Cuervo.
1171
01:35:44,989 --> 01:35:47,032
I'll see you around, okay?
1172
01:35:57,460 --> 01:36:00,212
Don't worry. There's better for you,
1173
01:36:00,380 --> 01:36:02,172
and it's right here.
1174
01:36:02,715 --> 01:36:05,050
Come here.
No, I wanted you for so long.
1175
01:36:07,637 --> 01:36:10,889
You messed with the wrong guy,
and now you're gonna pay.
1176
01:36:11,015 --> 01:36:13,308
You and that little bitch.
1177
01:36:14,477 --> 01:36:18,063
All right, that's enough, okay!
You crossed the line.
1178
01:36:23,153 --> 01:36:24,403
What, are you kidding me?
1179
01:36:30,368 --> 01:36:33,579
-I'm driving, so I pick the tunes.
-And it's my car.
1180
01:36:36,875 --> 01:36:39,418
I want some coffee!
1181
01:36:52,432 --> 01:36:55,267
Could I get a prophylactic?
1182
01:36:55,435 --> 01:36:57,227
A prophylactic.
1183
01:36:59,522 --> 01:37:02,483
-Let go!
-How could you set me up like that?
1184
01:37:02,567 --> 01:37:04,401
Oh, God, I just wanted...
1185
01:37:04,527 --> 01:37:06,528
To completely damage me,
send me to therapy forever?
1186
01:37:06,613 --> 01:37:09,031
-No, I just wanted...
-Ladies.
1187
01:37:11,910 --> 01:37:13,744
Shall we go to my office?
1188
01:37:16,539 --> 01:37:18,582
Oh, my God!
|