1
00:00:10,385 --> 00:00:11,557
MAN: Hey.
2
00:00:14,973 --> 00:00:17,558
How do you like this? Paradise.
3
00:00:17,559 --> 00:00:19,644
I never want to go home!
4
00:00:19,645 --> 00:00:22,647
David, come on!
It's going to be amazing!
5
00:00:22,648 --> 00:00:24,857
- Are you ready for your surprise?
DAVID: Yes.
6
00:00:24,858 --> 00:00:28,236
OK, surprise!
7
00:00:28,237 --> 00:00:30,238
- You like it?
- <i>I</i> love him.
8
00:00:30,239 --> 00:00:32,031
<i>- </i> I love you.
- Mat?
9
00:00:32,032 --> 00:00:35,868
<i>- I love you.
- I love you too.</i>
10
00:00:35,869 --> 00:00:38,871
The last ten days on this island
with you have...
11
00:00:38,872 --> 00:00:42,875
Have been the best! I can't remember
ever feeling this happy.
12
00:00:42,876 --> 00:00:45,461
So why do all good things have to end?
13
00:00:45,462 --> 00:00:47,171
<i>Who says it has to end?</i>
14
00:00:47,172 --> 00:00:52,053
<i>Mia, I don't know you but I think I want
to spend the rest of my life trying to.</i>
15
00:00:54,846 --> 00:00:57,473
Are you saying
what I think you're saying?
16
00:00:57,474 --> 00:00:58,896
Yes.
17
00:01:00,644 --> 00:01:03,229
Wait till you meet my family.
18
00:01:03,230 --> 00:01:05,028
<i>Wait till you meet mine.</i>
19
00:01:07,401 --> 00:01:09,870
d I saw her sitting in the rain
20
00:01:10,988 --> 00:01:14,156
d Raindrops falling on her
21
00:01:14,157 --> 00:01:16,033
d She didn't seem to care
22
00:01:16,034 --> 00:01:18,457
d She sat there and smiled at me
23
00:01:21,206 --> 00:01:24,041
<i>d Then I</i> knew
<i>d I knew, I knew, I knew, I knew</i>
24
00:01:24,042 --> 00:01:29,046
d She can make me happy
J“ <i>Happy</i>
25
00:01:29,047 --> 00:01:32,466
d Flowers in her hair... d
<i>- </i> Sorry.
26
00:01:32,467 --> 00:01:39,473
d Flowers everywhere
d Like a flower girl
27
00:01:39,474 --> 00:01:43,894
d Oh, I don't know just why
she simply caught my eye
28
00:01:43,895 --> 00:01:46,647
<i>d I love the flower girl</i>
29
00:01:46,648 --> 00:01:50,860
d She seemed so sweet and kind
She crept into my mind
30
00:01:50,861 --> 00:01:53,034
<i>dAh</i>
31
00:02:01,413 --> 00:02:05,082
d I knew I had to say hello
32
00:02:05,083 --> 00:02:08,252
d She smiled up at me
33
00:02:08,253 --> 00:02:12,679
d She took my hand
We walked through the park alone
34
00:02:15,218 --> 00:02:18,054
<i>d And I knew
d I knew, I knew, I knew, I knew</i>
35
00:02:18,055 --> 00:02:22,266
<i>d She had made me happy
d Happy... d</i>
36
00:02:22,267 --> 00:02:23,434
Shit!
37
00:02:23,435 --> 00:02:26,937
d Flowers in her hair
d Her hair
38
00:02:26,938 --> 00:02:33,653
<i>d Flowers everywhere
d I love the flower girl</i>
39
00:02:33,654 --> 00:02:38,032
d Oh, I don't know just why
she simply caught my eye
40
00:02:38,033 --> 00:02:40,868
<i>d I love the flower girl</i>
41
00:02:40,869 --> 00:02:44,872
d She seemed so sweet and kind
She crept into my mind
42
00:02:44,873 --> 00:02:50,471
<i>d Crept into my mind</i>
43
00:02:54,424 --> 00:02:56,893
d Suddenly the sun broke through
44
00:02:58,428 --> 00:03:01,681
d I turned around she was gone
d Where did she go?
45
00:03:01,682 --> 00:03:05,903
d And all I had left
was one little flower in my hand
46
00:03:08,605 --> 00:03:10,648
d But I knew... d
Surprise!
47
00:03:10,649 --> 00:03:12,233
(Shocked gasps)
48
00:03:12,234 --> 00:03:14,737
(Chuckles)
49
00:03:15,821 --> 00:03:17,655
d It's dreary and we love it
50
00:03:17,656 --> 00:03:20,032
d And it smells like rock‘n'roll
51
00:03:20,033 --> 00:03:23,035
d It's not too far from Chiswick
yet it's... d
52
00:03:23,036 --> 00:03:25,246
I think that was
the most embarrassing thing
53
00:03:25,247 --> 00:03:27,043
that's ever happened to anyone ever.
54
00:03:27,044 --> 00:03:29,008
Sorry, mate,
we weren't supposed to know
55
00:03:29,009 --> 00:03:31,252
you'd come through the door
stark bollock naked.
56
00:03:31,253 --> 00:03:33,879
Yeah, I know. It was... thoughtful.
57
00:03:33,880 --> 00:03:37,049
- Come here, good to have you back!
- You're spilling my drink.
58
00:03:37,050 --> 00:03:40,261
Sorry, I've missed you, greasy hippie.
59
00:03:40,262 --> 00:03:43,347
Been stuck here for the last six months
with Luke and bloody Graham.
60
00:03:43,348 --> 00:03:45,724
- You know what that's like.
<i>- </i> You alright, Graham?
61
00:03:45,725 --> 00:03:47,524
<i>- </i> This has cheese on it.
- So pick it off.
62
00:03:47,525 --> 00:03:50,896
I can't just pick it off. If I have any
cheese, then I start getting malaise.
63
00:03:50,897 --> 00:03:53,023
<i>- </i> Malaise.
- Yes, malaise.
64
00:03:53,024 --> 00:03:54,859
Good to see nothing's changed.
65
00:03:54,860 --> 00:03:57,445
- Where's Luke?
<i>- </i> He's coming later.
66
00:03:57,446 --> 00:04:00,448
Had to go around Sarah's
for the 50 millionth time this week.
67
00:04:00,449 --> 00:04:02,668
- Oh, really?
<i>- </i> Oh, yeah, it's not been good.
68
00:04:02,669 --> 00:04:05,035
She's been seeing this guy called Chip.
69
00:04:05,036 --> 00:04:09,248
Yeah, imagine if your girlfriend
left you for a guy called Chip.
70
00:04:09,249 --> 00:04:11,047
Not to mention he doesn't have a penis.
71
00:04:12,169 --> 00:04:14,090
What do you mean,
he doesn't have a penis?
72
00:04:14,091 --> 00:04:16,465
Apparently, it got damaged
in a boating accident.
73
00:04:16,466 --> 00:04:18,674
Anyway, how was your trip?
Tell us everything.
74
00:04:18,675 --> 00:04:20,471
- Oh, OK, it was incredible.
- Yeah?
75
00:04:20,472 --> 00:04:22,892
- Did you have sex with anyone?
- Better than that.
76
00:04:24,222 --> 00:04:26,766
- What? What's better than that?
- I'll tell you later.
77
00:04:26,767 --> 00:04:29,852
- Whoa! Did you have a threesome?
<i>- </i> Look, the party's still going on.
78
00:04:29,853 --> 00:04:30,945
<i>- </i> Just tell us.
- No.
79
00:04:30,946 --> 00:04:33,063
David, you can't leave us
hanging like this.
80
00:04:33,064 --> 00:04:34,486
I'm getting married.
81
00:04:35,984 --> 00:04:38,152
Right! Everybody out!
Party's over!
82
00:04:38,153 --> 00:04:41,655
Grandad, you've had too much to drink,
you drunken old sod.
83
00:04:41,656 --> 00:04:44,033
How did this happen?
84
00:04:44,034 --> 00:04:46,869
How do you think it happened?
I fell in love.
85
00:04:46,870 --> 00:04:49,663
Her name's Mia. She's Australian.
86
00:04:49,664 --> 00:04:52,249
We met in Tuvalu,
this little island in the Paci?c.
87
00:04:52,250 --> 00:04:56,721
And she is the most amazing,
beautiful, intelligent...
88
00:04:58,673 --> 00:05:01,759
You know, the normal thing at this point
is to say congratulations.
89
00:05:01,760 --> 00:05:04,678
Congratulations, I feel like
I've just fucking aged ten years.
90
00:05:04,679 --> 00:05:07,598
Holiday flings are meant to end
at the airport, not at the altar.
91
00:05:07,599 --> 00:05:09,567
Don't listen to him, David,
this is great.
92
00:05:09,568 --> 00:05:12,978
We're right behind you all the way.
Just tell us where the party is.
93
00:05:12,979 --> 00:05:15,027
It's at Mia's parents‘ house
in Australia.
94
00:05:16,191 --> 00:05:17,983
What, is that a fucking joke?
95
00:05:17,984 --> 00:05:21,487
I can't go to Australia, it's bloody
miles away! You know I get air sickness.
96
00:05:21,488 --> 00:05:24,031
Jesus, I thought you'd be
a little bit more supportive
97
00:05:24,032 --> 00:05:27,368
If you don't come, it's just gonna be
me and a load of bloody Australians.
98
00:05:27,369 --> 00:05:29,167
- You're all I got.
<i>- </i> Excuse me, 20 years
99
00:05:29,168 --> 00:05:31,997
since we've been friends,
when have we ever let you down?
100
00:05:31,998 --> 00:05:34,959
Uh, what about the time you told
Rachel Brookman I had syphilis?
101
00:05:34,960 --> 00:05:37,429
Yeah, apart from that.
When you used to ride your bike
102
00:05:37,430 --> 00:05:41,257
up and down Dorset Street on your own
like some kind of an infant leper,
103
00:05:41,258 --> 00:05:43,226
we were the ones
who took you into our gang.
104
00:05:43,227 --> 00:05:45,469
Even though you were
this lost little orphan boy
105
00:05:45,470 --> 00:05:46,813
who everyone thought was gay.
106
00:05:46,814 --> 00:05:48,889
What do you mean,
everyone thought I was gay?
107
00:05:48,890 --> 00:05:51,934
They did ‘cause you were all sensitive
and nice to people and shit.
108
00:05:51,935 --> 00:05:54,734
Suppose you'll be moving
to a nice two-bed in Hertfordshire?
109
00:05:56,398 --> 00:05:59,066
Oh, you're fucking joking.
You're moving to Australia?
110
00:05:59,067 --> 00:06:01,661
No, it's not set yet.
We'll just... see how it goes.
111
00:06:03,822 --> 00:06:06,365
<i>- </i> Hey, Luke.
- Hi, David.
112
00:06:06,366 --> 00:06:08,617
- How are you?
<i>- </i> Yeah, pretty good.
113
00:06:08,618 --> 00:06:11,287
I mean, I feel like I've given
the last five years of my life
114
00:06:11,288 --> 00:06:15,040
in return for unimaginable pain and
torment but aside from that, I'm fine.
115
00:06:15,041 --> 00:06:17,464
David's getting married
and moving to Australia.
116
00:06:21,840 --> 00:06:24,059
(Wails)
117
00:06:25,635 --> 00:06:27,137
Taxi!
118
00:06:31,850 --> 00:06:34,560
Why does she only want you there
one day before the wedding?
119
00:06:34,561 --> 00:06:37,271
- She thought it'd be romantic.
<i>- </i> You know what bugs me, bruv?
120
00:06:37,272 --> 00:06:40,107
You are about to gamble your life
on a girl you don't even know.
121
00:06:40,108 --> 00:06:42,575
She's not a roulette wheel,
she's the love of my life.
122
00:06:42,576 --> 00:06:44,537
What if she turns out to be
a vagina farter?
123
00:06:44,538 --> 00:06:47,197
Your one serious relationship,
you dumped her ‘cause...
124
00:06:47,198 --> 00:06:49,491
Front bottom burps, noisy flange,
disgusting.
125
00:06:49,492 --> 00:06:51,288
When you lose your parents young,
Tom,
126
00:06:51,289 --> 00:06:53,584
you learn to roll the dice
when it's handed to you.
127
00:06:53,585 --> 00:06:56,790
Oh, I've taken you to Blackpool,
brother, you're a terrible gambler.
128
00:06:56,791 --> 00:06:59,251
- What exactly have I got to lose?
- Us!
129
00:06:59,252 --> 00:07:00,720
Aww...
130
00:07:01,713 --> 00:07:04,506
Couldn't lose you if you were a suitcase
at Terminal Five.
131
00:07:04,507 --> 00:07:07,426
I'm just looking out for you,
that's all. I don't know this girl.
132
00:07:07,427 --> 00:07:08,928
And neither do you.
133
00:07:08,929 --> 00:07:11,221
DAVID: Don't you believe
in love at first sight?
134
00:07:11,222 --> 00:07:14,391
I just can't believe you're
getting married. It's just so grown-up
135
00:07:14,392 --> 00:07:15,935
Every time I look at you,
136
00:07:15,936 --> 00:07:18,479
I still see a little eight-year-old waif
in gym shorts.
137
00:07:18,480 --> 00:07:20,022
That's a bit weird.
138
00:07:20,023 --> 00:07:22,650
- Hi.
- Luke.
139
00:07:22,651 --> 00:07:24,485
- How are you?
- Awful.
140
00:07:24,486 --> 00:07:27,029
Sarah and Chip
have officially moved in together.
141
00:07:27,030 --> 00:07:28,828
<i>- </i> I'm so sorry, mate.
- Yeah.
142
00:07:28,829 --> 00:07:32,284
Well, maybe this trip will do you some
good. Maybe you'll get some distance.
143
00:07:32,285 --> 00:07:34,083
- Maybe the plane will crash.
<i>- </i> Sorry.
144
00:07:36,081 --> 00:07:38,040
Sorry.
145
00:07:38,041 --> 00:07:39,708
Sorry I'm late.
146
00:07:39,709 --> 00:07:43,087
Picking up my new business cards -
going global.
147
00:07:43,088 --> 00:07:47,059
Hitler's selling underfloor heating to
Australians. Oh, this is gonna be huge.
148
00:07:48,385 --> 00:07:50,636
- Graham, what is that on your face?
- What?
149
00:07:50,637 --> 00:07:52,888
That. That monstrosity.
150
00:07:52,889 --> 00:07:56,058
- Oh, you mean the moustache?
- Yes, the moustache.
151
00:07:56,059 --> 00:08:00,062
I'm about to meet my future family, I
can't have you turn up looking like a...
152
00:08:00,063 --> 00:08:02,231
- Like a...
- Genocidal Fascist dictator.
153
00:08:02,232 --> 00:08:05,317
What are you talking about?
Moustaches are really in at the moment.
154
00:08:05,318 --> 00:08:08,195
- Not Hitler moustaches.
<i>- </i> Look, it's how my facial hair grows.
155
00:08:08,196 --> 00:08:10,739
Alright? I can't help the fact
it looks like Hitler's.
156
00:08:10,740 --> 00:08:12,783
Why are you being so negative,
anyway?
157
00:08:12,784 --> 00:08:14,409
Why can't it be a Chaplin moustache?
158
00:08:14,410 --> 00:08:16,163
- Sit down, you're in the way.
- Sorry.
159
00:08:17,163 --> 00:08:19,665
- Jesus!
<i>- </i> Bloody Hitler.
160
00:08:19,666 --> 00:08:21,750
Ruined this moustache for everyone.
161
00:08:21,751 --> 00:08:23,128
Guys...
162
00:08:24,838 --> 00:08:27,464
- We're going to Australia.
- Yeah, with 14 stopovers.
163
00:08:27,465 --> 00:08:30,639
Yes, stewardess! A bottle of your
cheapest champagne, please!
164
00:08:34,222 --> 00:08:36,682
Toast to my friend, David Locking!
165
00:08:36,683 --> 00:08:38,276
Mr David Locking!
166
00:08:39,853 --> 00:08:43,027
Jorge Buentiempo! (Speaks Spanish)
167
00:08:46,192 --> 00:08:51,039
..754 miles, 8,754 miles.
168
00:08:55,827 --> 00:08:59,246
Coconut Mist.
Now available duty-free. Coconut Mist.
169
00:08:59,247 --> 00:09:02,875
I thought that was never gonna end.
It was worse than a jazz concert.
170
00:09:02,876 --> 00:09:04,376
Really? I slept most of the way.
171
00:09:04,377 --> 00:09:07,212
That's ‘cause you weren't sitting
next to the droning clock.
172
00:09:07,213 --> 00:09:09,423
I can't believe
he's doing the best man speech.
173
00:09:09,424 --> 00:09:12,134
- I've have done much better.
<i>- </i> Thought I'd give him a boost.
174
00:09:12,135 --> 00:09:15,054
- Something else to focus on.
- I'd have been fuckin' hilarious.
175
00:09:15,055 --> 00:09:16,972
- David Locking?
- Yes?
176
00:09:16,973 --> 00:09:18,932
Come this way, please.
177
00:09:18,933 --> 00:09:20,434
(Dog grunts)
178
00:09:20,435 --> 00:09:22,269
- Take the bag.
- Why?
179
00:09:22,270 --> 00:09:25,439
I've got something in it for David's
stag do. I don't want it searched.
180
00:09:25,440 --> 00:09:27,818
- Absolutely not.
<i>- </i> Look at me, I'm sweaty.
181
00:09:27,819 --> 00:09:30,903
I look guilty as hell. They won't
search you, you're too confident.
182
00:09:30,904 --> 00:09:32,488
True and I'm still not taking it.
183
00:09:32,489 --> 00:09:35,908
- Uh, have we done something wrong?
- Not at all, Mr Locking.
184
00:09:35,909 --> 00:09:39,203
I work for your father-in-law and
you're going straight to the VIP room.
185
00:09:39,204 --> 00:09:41,580
Welcome to Australia.
(Elevator dings)
186
00:09:41,581 --> 00:09:43,665
VIP. Bloody damn it.
187
00:09:43,666 --> 00:09:46,627
Now they're never gonna
X-ray your bag.
188
00:09:46,628 --> 00:09:48,551
<i>AUTOMATED VOICE:
Welcome to VIP X-ray.</i>
189
00:09:48,552 --> 00:09:50,890
<i>Please hand your bags
to the attendant.</i>
190
00:09:52,008 --> 00:09:54,056
<i>(Alarm sounds)</i>
191
00:09:55,178 --> 00:09:57,272
- Graham Vincent?
- Yes?
192
00:10:04,687 --> 00:10:07,031
MAN: Shall we pop this
in your duty-free bag, sir?
193
00:10:09,192 --> 00:10:12,027
- That was embarrassing.
<i>- </i> Why d'you get a gimp mask, anyway?
194
00:10:12,028 --> 00:10:14,247
- Who does that?
<i>- </i> I thought it'd be a laugh.
195
00:10:14,248 --> 00:10:16,073
(Sighs) We're in Australia.
196
00:10:16,074 --> 00:10:17,616
Who could survive here?
197
00:10:17,617 --> 00:10:20,119
All that sun and beefs
gonna piss you off eventually.
198
00:10:20,120 --> 00:10:21,620
I could learn to live with it.
199
00:10:21,621 --> 00:10:23,831
Gonna call Sarah,
let her know we've arrived.
200
00:10:23,832 --> 00:10:26,834
Yeah, she's probably sitting
by the phone counting the minutes.
201
00:10:26,835 --> 00:10:28,335
There she is. There's Mia.
202
00:10:28,336 --> 00:10:30,464
LUKE: Damn signal.
(David laughs)
203
00:10:33,424 --> 00:10:35,092
Mia!
204
00:10:35,093 --> 00:10:37,016
MIA: David!
205
00:10:39,222 --> 00:10:42,474
- Oh, you alright?
<i>- </i> Yeah, yeah, yeah, I'm good.
206
00:10:42,475 --> 00:10:44,017
I'm good.
207
00:10:44,018 --> 00:10:46,186
- How was the flight?
- Fine.
208
00:10:46,187 --> 00:10:48,030
<i>- </i> Really long, though.
- Yeah?
209
00:10:48,031 --> 00:10:49,356
Yeah...
210
00:10:49,357 --> 00:10:51,817
<i>- </i> I'll leave you to it, then.
- OK.
211
00:10:51,818 --> 00:10:54,695
<i>- </i> Meet the guys. Uh, this is...
- No, no, no, don't tell me.
212
00:10:54,696 --> 00:10:58,282
Um, Tom, Luke and...
213
00:10:58,283 --> 00:11:00,160
This is a Chaplin moustache
by the way.
214
00:11:00,161 --> 00:11:01,243
..Graham.
215
00:11:01,244 --> 00:11:03,245
David's pretty much told me everything.
216
00:11:03,246 --> 00:11:05,669
Well, I hope he hasn't been
slagging us off too much.
217
00:11:05,670 --> 00:11:08,584
Of course not. He just called you
a pack of pricks but that was it.
218
00:11:08,585 --> 00:11:11,920
- What, really?
<i>- </i> No, no! He didn't really.
219
00:11:11,921 --> 00:11:14,344
Anyway, I brought the big car
so we're all gonna fit.
220
00:11:14,345 --> 00:11:16,884
- It's OK, we've organized a car rental.
- Are you sure?
221
00:11:16,885 --> 00:11:19,887
It's quite a hike and might be
the only time I get you all to myself.
222
00:11:19,888 --> 00:11:23,223
- Well, then, spend it with David.
<i>- </i> You don't know where you're going.
223
00:11:23,224 --> 00:11:25,976
And God created satellites.
It's fine, Graham's driving.
224
00:11:25,977 --> 00:11:27,978
- What? No, I'm not.
- Yeah, you are.
225
00:11:27,979 --> 00:11:31,899
Go, go and exchange some bodily fluids,
you know, we'll see you later.
226
00:11:31,900 --> 00:11:33,743
Alright, cool.
227
00:11:35,987 --> 00:11:37,738
- See you later.
- See ya.
228
00:11:37,739 --> 00:11:38,947
<i>Bye.</i>
229
00:11:38,948 --> 00:11:41,074
<i>LUKE: ..this is my
chair, I paid for it.</i>
230
00:11:41,075 --> 00:11:43,035
- We good?
- Yeah.
231
00:11:43,036 --> 00:11:46,371
LUKE: Don't hang up, don't hang up,
please! Come on. Sarah!
232
00:11:46,372 --> 00:11:48,457
Luke, come on, man.
233
00:11:48,458 --> 00:11:50,292
- Sarah, she's...
- Oh, shut up.
234
00:11:50,293 --> 00:11:53,045
- So, here we are.
- Yep.
235
00:11:53,046 --> 00:11:55,672
(Sighs) We're getting married tomorrow.
236
00:11:55,673 --> 00:11:56,965
Yep.
237
00:11:56,966 --> 00:11:59,387
Doesn't give me much time
to get to know your parents.
238
00:11:59,388 --> 00:12:01,387
Oh, we've got all the time in the world.
239
00:12:02,430 --> 00:12:05,058
God... I've waited...
three whole months...
240
00:12:06,643 --> 00:12:09,021
<i>(Beeping)</i>
241
00:12:13,816 --> 00:12:16,035
Ooh, what have we here?
242
00:12:18,613 --> 00:12:21,036
LUKE: I don't think she was that happy
to hear from me.
243
00:12:21,037 --> 00:12:23,242
What, really? What's wrong with her?
244
00:12:23,243 --> 00:12:26,245
See, if I broke up with a girl,
what I'd want her to do
245
00:12:26,246 --> 00:12:28,455
is ring me and hassle me constantly.
246
00:12:28,456 --> 00:12:31,667
- At least I've had a girl.
<i>- </i> I've had girlfriends, Luke.
247
00:12:31,668 --> 00:12:33,466
Inflatable girlfriends don't count.
248
00:12:33,467 --> 00:12:37,047
Look, I've told you a thousand times,
that was delivered to me by mistake.
249
00:12:37,048 --> 00:12:39,517
Anyway, I will phone her
and I'll keep phoning her
250
00:12:39,518 --> 00:12:41,051
until she agrees to take me back.
251
00:12:41,052 --> 00:12:43,095
- Good plan, Luke!
<i>- </i> (Graham chuckles)
252
00:12:43,096 --> 00:12:44,680
(Mia giggles)
253
00:12:44,681 --> 00:12:47,525
DAVID: I can't believe
I can actually reach out and touch you.
254
00:12:51,437 --> 00:12:53,021
(Both laugh)
255
00:12:53,022 --> 00:12:55,732
If it wasn't for that photo,
I'd swear Tuvalu was just...
256
00:12:55,733 --> 00:12:57,651
A dream?
257
00:12:57,652 --> 00:13:01,873
Yeah, sometimes I wish I'd just snap
my ?ngers and we'd be back there.
258
00:13:03,616 --> 00:13:05,334
Be careful what you wish for.
259
00:13:16,421 --> 00:13:18,719
What are we doing
in the middle of the jungle, Tom?
260
00:13:18,720 --> 00:13:20,924
Does that thing have any idea
where it's going?
261
00:13:20,925 --> 00:13:22,926
Yeah, we're just on a small detour.
262
00:13:22,927 --> 00:13:25,762
Found this guy, he said he could sell us
some weed for tonight.
263
00:13:25,763 --> 00:13:30,726
Are you mental? I'm not taking a detour
to some skanky drug dealer's house.
264
00:13:30,727 --> 00:13:32,479
We're supposed to be here for David!
265
00:13:32,480 --> 00:13:34,229
This is for David, bell end.
266
00:13:34,230 --> 00:13:37,357
For his stag night. We can't have
stag night without weed, can we?
267
00:13:37,358 --> 00:13:39,484
- Can't we?
- No!
268
00:13:39,485 --> 00:13:41,658
It's just down here, anyway. Turn left.
269
00:13:49,620 --> 00:13:51,541
DAVID: Yester?
MIA: Yester Grange.
270
00:13:51,542 --> 00:13:53,462
Oldest house
in the Blue Mountains.
271
00:13:53,463 --> 00:13:55,005
DAVID: Wow.
272
00:14:01,007 --> 00:14:05,057
Mum, Daph, meet David.
273
00:14:07,930 --> 00:14:10,599
David, this is my adorable mum,
Barbara.
274
00:14:10,600 --> 00:14:13,477
Welcome to the family, David.
275
00:14:13,478 --> 00:14:15,697
(cries)
276
00:14:18,608 --> 00:14:21,026
Um, Mum, he's British,
you're scaring him.
277
00:14:21,027 --> 00:14:23,246
Oh, I'm sorry.
278
00:14:24,655 --> 00:14:28,283
- Um, hi, I'm Daphne.
<i>- </i> Daph, my sister and my bestest mate.
279
00:14:28,284 --> 00:14:30,452
Great to meet you.
280
00:14:30,453 --> 00:14:32,251
- So where's...
DAPHNE: The old crock?
281
00:14:32,252 --> 00:14:37,459
My husband has been the only man
in this house for almost <i>25</i> years.
282
00:14:37,460 --> 00:14:41,090
So, please, excuse his...
283
00:14:43,216 --> 00:14:44,841
..enthusiasm.
284
00:14:44,842 --> 00:14:47,803
<i>- Right.
- Don't worry, he won't eat you.</i>
285
00:14:47,804 --> 00:14:50,055
Yeah, we fed him a big breakfast.
286
00:14:50,056 --> 00:14:52,891
So, sweetheart,
ready to meet the senator?
287
00:14:52,892 --> 00:14:55,441
Uh, yeah. Can't wait.
288
00:15:02,193 --> 00:15:04,736
You're not seriously getting out
of the car, are you?
289
00:15:04,737 --> 00:15:07,197
- Haven't you seen Wolf Creek?
- What?
290
00:15:07,198 --> 00:15:08,698
It'll be fine.
291
00:15:08,699 --> 00:15:11,368
- You coming, Luke?
<i>- </i> You go, just leave me here to die.
292
00:15:11,369 --> 00:15:14,371
Luke, can you look after my bag,
please? It's got all my stuff in it.
293
00:15:14,372 --> 00:15:17,421
After I've been raped and murdered
and out into small pieces, sure.
294
00:15:19,502 --> 00:15:22,255
Wait! Wait!
295
00:15:25,258 --> 00:15:28,093
Tom, can we get in and out
as quickly as possible, please?
296
00:15:28,094 --> 00:15:29,346
He's a drug dealer, Graham.
297
00:15:29,347 --> 00:15:31,471
Do you think we're gonna stay
for tea and cakes?
298
00:15:31,472 --> 00:15:33,598
You're the one
who brought your overnight bag.
299
00:15:33,599 --> 00:15:37,269
JIM: I told the caterer, no wheat,
no dairy, no nuts,
300
00:15:37,270 --> 00:15:40,439
no gluten, no seafood, no marzipan.
What's so hard about that?
301
00:15:40,440 --> 00:15:42,566
BARBARA: Jim!
302
00:15:42,567 --> 00:15:45,819
- It's time.
JIM: Well, well, well.
303
00:15:45,820 --> 00:15:48,405
We meet at last.
304
00:15:48,406 --> 00:15:50,073
The hero of Tuvalu.
305
00:15:50,074 --> 00:15:52,117
MIA: David, my dad, Jim Ramme.
306
00:15:52,118 --> 00:15:54,703
JIM: Hmm, I was expecting
a little more beef.
307
00:15:54,704 --> 00:15:58,165
Dad... be supportive.
308
00:15:58,166 --> 00:16:01,376
Yeah, I'd give him a minute
before you start busting his balls.
309
00:16:01,377 --> 00:16:03,170
I see you've met Daphne.
310
00:16:03,171 --> 00:16:06,006
There we were, hoping
she'd get married as well one day.
311
00:16:06,007 --> 00:16:07,841
Turns out she's a lesbian.
312
00:16:07,842 --> 00:16:12,179
David, you must be exhausted.
Would you like to freshen up?
313
00:16:12,180 --> 00:16:13,432
Actually, that'd be...
314
00:16:13,433 --> 00:16:16,600
He probably wants to get stuck into
the grand tour, don't you, Dave?
315
00:16:16,601 --> 00:16:20,026
(Laughs) You know, it's been a really
long flight and everything so...
316
00:16:21,731 --> 00:16:23,483
The tour would be great.
317
00:16:29,447 --> 00:16:32,991
- Hi! Are you Ray?
- No.
318
00:16:32,992 --> 00:16:34,868
We're looking for Ray.
319
00:16:34,869 --> 00:16:37,370
Said we could come by and get some -
(Clicks tongue)
320
00:16:37,371 --> 00:16:39,590
You know... Some weed.
321
00:16:41,584 --> 00:16:43,211
Come inside.
322
00:16:46,339 --> 00:16:48,340
Mad Frank send you?
323
00:16:48,341 --> 00:16:51,015
No, I emailed you. Um...
324
00:16:52,386 --> 00:16:55,185
I'm Tom, from the website, remember?
325
00:16:57,099 --> 00:17:01,019
- Who's the bag man?
<i>- </i> It's just my friend, Graham.
326
00:17:01,020 --> 00:17:04,648
This isn't a Hitler moustache, by the
way. It's just how my facial hair grows.
327
00:17:04,649 --> 00:17:06,242
RAY: Sit the fuck down.
TOM: OK.
328
00:17:14,534 --> 00:17:17,786
So, how much do you need?
329
00:17:17,787 --> 00:17:20,586
Five, ten kilos?
330
00:17:23,125 --> 00:17:25,173
Just an eighth if that's cool.
331
00:17:26,963 --> 00:17:29,005
It's for a friend's stag night.
332
00:17:29,006 --> 00:17:30,799
<i>(Dog whimpers)</i>
333
00:17:30,800 --> 00:17:32,801
I'd prefer it if you tried it first.
334
00:17:32,802 --> 00:17:35,679
I don't want you pounding down
my door in the middle of the night
335
00:17:35,680 --> 00:17:37,180
saying I sold you dodgy grass.
336
00:17:37,181 --> 00:17:39,809
(Chuckles nervously)
I don't think we'll be doing that.
337
00:17:40,977 --> 00:17:43,981
I said,
I'd prefer it if you tried it first.
338
00:17:53,114 --> 00:17:55,991
TOM: Tastes good, doesn't it?
<i>- </i> (Coughs)
339
00:17:55,992 --> 00:17:58,451
Tastes quite... Quite fruity.
340
00:17:58,452 --> 00:17:59,995
JIM: Next up, the sauna.
341
00:17:59,996 --> 00:18:03,164
12-inch window with a five-star view.
342
00:18:03,165 --> 00:18:05,375
(David laughs) That's funny.
343
00:18:05,376 --> 00:18:10,005
<i>- </i> That wasn't a joke, Dave.
MIA: Grandad built that sauna in 1963.
344
00:18:10,006 --> 00:18:14,801
Carpenter, struggling to raise seven
children, now I own the whole property.
345
00:18:14,802 --> 00:18:18,013
You can have it all, Dave, if you
don't mind getting your hands dirty.
346
00:18:18,014 --> 00:18:20,181
You see that house over there?
347
00:18:20,182 --> 00:18:22,651
You play your cards right
and it's got your name on it.
348
00:18:24,353 --> 00:18:27,147
- So, you guys mates?
- Yeah.
349
00:18:27,148 --> 00:18:29,107
Grew up on the same street.
350
00:18:29,108 --> 00:18:33,194
I used to have mates but most of them
are in prison or dead now.
351
00:18:33,195 --> 00:18:36,448
Look, I've tried making new friends,
you know, on the internet and that
352
00:18:36,449 --> 00:18:38,992
but I don't know,
you can't trust anyone.
353
00:18:38,993 --> 00:18:42,162
One day they're your best mate,
354
00:18:42,163 --> 00:18:44,914
the next they're stabbing you
in the back for a gram of speed
355
00:18:44,915 --> 00:18:47,042
and you wind up
having to break their kneecaps
356
00:18:47,043 --> 00:18:49,586
with a fucking ironing board,
then where are ya?
357
00:18:49,587 --> 00:18:52,181
- D'you mind if I use your toilet?
- In the meth lab.
358
00:18:54,759 --> 00:18:56,181
Tom...
359
00:19:00,556 --> 00:19:04,060
Hey, would you like to see
my new tattoo?
360
00:19:05,770 --> 00:19:07,022
Yeah.
361
00:19:10,107 --> 00:19:11,566
(Gasps)
362
00:19:11,567 --> 00:19:14,161
- Ain't she a corker?
- Yeah.
363
00:19:16,530 --> 00:19:19,282
- What is it?
<i>- </i> Well, it's a little kid crying.
364
00:19:19,283 --> 00:19:23,078
And those are his bastard parents
leaving him for dead.
365
00:19:23,079 --> 00:19:24,829
It's original.
366
00:19:24,830 --> 00:19:26,581
And I've saved the best for last.
367
00:19:26,582 --> 00:19:30,168
Pull your socks up, Dave,
‘cause they're about to get knocked off.
368
00:19:30,169 --> 00:19:33,004
This is it - Jim Ramme HQ.
369
00:19:33,005 --> 00:19:36,174
DAVID: It's... impressive.
370
00:19:36,175 --> 00:19:39,010
MIA: This is also
where we keep Ramsy.
371
00:19:39,011 --> 00:19:41,179
Uh, who's Ramsy?
372
00:19:41,180 --> 00:19:43,223
DAPHNE: He's the son Dad never had.
373
00:19:43,224 --> 00:19:46,017
- I thought you were.
- (Daphne smirks)
374
00:19:46,018 --> 00:19:48,603
Prepare yourself, Dave,
to meet the numero uno,
375
00:19:48,604 --> 00:19:51,356
the king of kings,
the champion of champions.
376
00:19:51,357 --> 00:19:54,361
This is Ramsy.
377
00:19:55,528 --> 00:19:57,576
DAVID: Wow. A sheep.
378
00:19:59,115 --> 00:20:00,657
In the house.
379
00:20:00,658 --> 00:20:03,201
He's not just any old sheep.
380
00:20:03,202 --> 00:20:05,625
The day I was photographed
with this golden fleece,
381
00:20:05,626 --> 00:20:07,580
my political career turned around.
382
00:20:07,581 --> 00:20:09,916
<i>(Groans) (Woman clears throat)</i>
383
00:20:09,917 --> 00:20:14,587
You've met my terrifyingly ef?cient
right-hand woman, Maureen Coate.
384
00:20:14,588 --> 00:20:17,799
Mr Locking, I prepared an Excel
spreadsheet of the proceedings
385
00:20:17,800 --> 00:20:19,926
for you and your colourful companions.
386
00:20:19,927 --> 00:20:22,021
David, where are your friends?
387
00:20:24,557 --> 00:20:27,016
- You got parents?
- Uh, yes.
388
00:20:27,017 --> 00:20:28,810
Oh, you're lucky.
389
00:20:28,811 --> 00:20:30,311
Yeah, my parents disowned me
390
00:20:30,312 --> 00:20:32,779
when I got done
for aggravated assault and battery
391
00:20:32,780 --> 00:20:34,275
at Kentucky Fried Chicken.
392
00:20:34,276 --> 00:20:36,653
I still think about them.
393
00:20:37,903 --> 00:20:41,156
- My parents...
<i>- </i> It's only natural.
394
00:20:41,157 --> 00:20:43,783
(Sniffs)
395
00:20:43,784 --> 00:20:49,748
Can I share with you
something personal?
396
00:20:49,749 --> 00:20:53,168
I've started getting panic attacks.
397
00:20:53,169 --> 00:20:56,379
One minute I'll just be sitting down
real nice and calm
398
00:20:56,380 --> 00:20:59,090
and the next, I don't know,
I feel like I'm gonna shit myself
399
00:20:59,091 --> 00:21:00,800
or I'm gonna puke or...
400
00:21:00,801 --> 00:21:02,844
I feel like I'm trapped in a sauna,
you know?
401
00:21:02,845 --> 00:21:05,439
Can't breathe, it's all sweaty,
it's fucked.
402
00:21:08,559 --> 00:21:12,020
Wow. Wow. Wow.
403
00:21:12,021 --> 00:21:14,147
I don't know what it is but...
404
00:21:14,148 --> 00:21:17,152
(Sighs) I feel like you and I...
405
00:21:18,527 --> 00:21:21,997
..you know,
we've got a really special connection.
406
00:21:23,991 --> 00:21:25,784
Tom!
407
00:21:25,785 --> 00:21:28,369
- Hey, you want to see something cool?
- Yeah!
408
00:21:28,370 --> 00:21:30,213
Wait there.
409
00:21:32,750 --> 00:21:35,919
Can we get out of here, please?
This guy's starting to freak me out.
410
00:21:35,920 --> 00:21:38,797
MIA: So, gloves off, what do you think?
411
00:21:38,798 --> 00:21:40,423
Shrewd choice, sweet pea...
412
00:21:40,424 --> 00:21:44,803
handsome, sweet, diplomatically quiet.
413
00:21:44,804 --> 00:21:48,807
Yeah, and you know what they say
about the quiet ones?
414
00:21:48,808 --> 00:21:50,725
Tomorrow's gonna be tough.
415
00:21:50,726 --> 00:21:54,145
My little girl says you can handle it
and that's good enough for me.
416
00:21:54,146 --> 00:21:58,566
Half the power brokers in Australia
are going to be in that marquee.
417
00:21:58,567 --> 00:22:02,362
The knives will be out and
they won't be for cutting the cake.
418
00:22:02,363 --> 00:22:03,990
But watch them fall on their swords
419
00:22:03,991 --> 00:22:08,993
when you and future senator
Mia Ramme step up to the mike.
420
00:22:08,994 --> 00:22:11,788
- Mia wants to be a senator?
- She sure does.
421
00:22:11,789 --> 00:22:13,373
She just doesn't know it yet.
422
00:22:13,374 --> 00:22:16,376
Here, check this shit out.
423
00:22:16,377 --> 00:22:18,002
Just got it in from Malaysia.
424
00:22:18,003 --> 00:22:20,922
This fat old woman,
she swallowed the lot
425
00:22:20,923 --> 00:22:22,632
and shat them out into a bowl.
426
00:22:22,633 --> 00:22:24,759
I got a big fucking bag of it, eh.
427
00:22:24,760 --> 00:22:27,387
- Interested? <i>- </i> I don't...
It's not really my thing.
428
00:22:27,388 --> 00:22:28,930
But... Oh, is that the time?
429
00:22:28,931 --> 00:22:31,140
We should probably go now, Tom,
don't you think?
430
00:22:31,141 --> 00:22:34,394
Well, I was thinking maybe while
you're in town, we could go for a beer.
431
00:22:34,395 --> 00:22:36,896
- Huh?
<i>- </i> We'll go for a beer.
432
00:22:36,897 --> 00:22:40,900
Well, I'd love to
but we've got lots on so...
433
00:22:40,901 --> 00:22:43,279
- What have we got going on?
- We've got the wedding.
434
00:22:43,280 --> 00:22:46,030
Yeah, but after the wedding,
we've got literally nothing.
435
00:22:46,031 --> 00:22:48,783
Terrific. You give us your number
and I'll give you a call.
436
00:22:48,784 --> 00:22:50,326
- My number?
<i>- </i> Yeah, yeah.
437
00:22:50,327 --> 00:22:53,329
Uh, my number. Well, I can't
remember it ‘cause it's a new phone.
438
00:22:53,330 --> 00:22:55,296
Here, just take
one of his business cards.
439
00:22:55,297 --> 00:22:56,713
It's got his number, his email
440
00:22:56,714 --> 00:22:59,252
and if you really have nothing to do,
there's Twitter.
441
00:22:59,253 --> 00:23:02,005
Maybe we could go out for a meal,
yeah?
442
00:23:02,006 --> 00:23:04,008
- Yeah, that would be fantastic.
- Great.
443
00:23:05,551 --> 00:23:07,519
<i>- </i> Don't worry about it.
- Thanks, man.
444
00:23:11,557 --> 00:23:14,811
- So, it's a date?
- Yeah.
445
00:23:20,524 --> 00:23:22,150
Total bloody knob end.
446
00:23:22,151 --> 00:23:23,776
Why d'you give that guy my card?
447
00:23:23,777 --> 00:23:25,698
I don't want to go to dinner
with that guy!
448
00:23:25,699 --> 00:23:27,915
- Don't you?
<i>- </i> Of course not! He's a psychopath!
449
00:23:27,916 --> 00:23:30,658
Let's get out of here before
he invites me on a weekend break.
450
00:23:30,659 --> 00:23:33,162
(Laughs)
451
00:23:39,335 --> 00:23:40,837
CATERER: Ah!
(Crash!)
452
00:23:43,547 --> 00:23:45,840
Jesus Christ on a bike!
453
00:23:45,841 --> 00:23:49,391
Dave, your... mates are here.
454
00:23:57,478 --> 00:24:00,104
Interesting choice of facial scrub
you got there, fella.
455
00:24:00,105 --> 00:24:01,648
It's just the way my hair grows.
456
00:24:01,649 --> 00:24:04,776
Well, there's only room for one dictator
in this family.
457
00:24:04,777 --> 00:24:07,997
I'm so hungry, I could eat
a sack full of baby kittens.
458
00:24:09,740 --> 00:24:12,575
This is amazing, Barbara. What is it?
459
00:24:12,576 --> 00:24:16,162
We have Crystal Cove prawns,
Coffin Bay oysters
460
00:24:16,163 --> 00:24:19,588
and lobster mornay in a cheese sauce.
461
00:24:21,168 --> 00:24:23,586
(Graham retches)
462
00:24:23,587 --> 00:24:25,838
(Tom chuckles)
463
00:24:25,839 --> 00:24:29,175
Sorry - it's cheese.
464
00:24:29,176 --> 00:24:30,885
I get malaise.
465
00:24:30,886 --> 00:24:33,012
So, what do you do, Luke?
466
00:24:33,013 --> 00:24:36,057
I fall in love with women who then shit
on me from a great height.
467
00:24:36,058 --> 00:24:39,185
You shouldn't put them on a pedestal.
468
00:24:39,186 --> 00:24:41,359
So what are the bride and groom
going to be doing
469
00:24:41,360 --> 00:24:43,064
on their final night of freedom?
470
00:24:43,065 --> 00:24:46,985
Oh, we're gonna crank up the Abba,
turn on the sauna, get pedicures.
471
00:24:46,986 --> 00:24:49,153
Maybe do some underarm hair waxing.
472
00:24:49,154 --> 00:24:52,782
- Oh, Daphne. Girls only, I'm afraid.
- Oh, that's a shame.
473
00:24:52,783 --> 00:24:54,784
What about you boys?
474
00:24:54,785 --> 00:24:57,206
I think we'll just head out,
have a quiet drink or two.
475
00:24:57,207 --> 00:24:59,079
- Just two?
<i>- </i> You're welcome to join us.
476
00:24:59,080 --> 00:25:01,550
Yeah, Jim, come with us.
We're gonna get wankered.
477
00:25:01,551 --> 00:25:03,167
Not wankered.
478
00:25:03,168 --> 00:25:05,762
Don't listen to what he says,
we're gonna get wankered.
479
00:25:07,339 --> 00:25:09,799
I'm sorry about my friends,
that was awful.
480
00:25:09,800 --> 00:25:11,759
Come on, they're really funny.
481
00:25:11,760 --> 00:25:14,429
They're not meant to be funny,
they're meant to be normal.
482
00:25:14,430 --> 00:25:17,181
Baby, it's a wedding, OK?
Worlds collide.
483
00:25:17,182 --> 00:25:18,775
(sighs)
484
00:25:24,106 --> 00:25:26,024
So, this is it, isn't it?
485
00:25:26,025 --> 00:25:28,651
I'm not gonna see you
till you're walking down the aisle.
486
00:25:28,652 --> 00:25:30,325
Afraid not.
487
00:25:32,531 --> 00:25:34,782
Love you, Mr Locking.
488
00:25:34,783 --> 00:25:36,626
(sighs)
489
00:25:38,537 --> 00:25:41,456
- Fuck me, mate, she's loaded.
<i>- </i> Can you keep your voice down?
490
00:25:41,457 --> 00:25:43,380
Alright, David? You seem a bit stressed.
491
00:25:43,381 --> 00:25:46,085
I am stressed. I just found out
I'm about to marry a Kennedy,
492
00:25:46,086 --> 00:25:47,712
you turn up acting like morons.
493
00:25:47,713 --> 00:25:50,381
- Who's acting like morons?
<i>- </i> You vomited onto your plate.
494
00:25:50,382 --> 00:25:52,760
- It had cheese.
<i>- </i> Look, this wedding is important.
495
00:25:52,761 --> 00:25:55,678
More important than anything ever
so I need everyone to behave.
496
00:25:55,679 --> 00:25:57,597
(Bu rps)
497
00:25:57,598 --> 00:25:59,015
OK.
498
00:25:59,016 --> 00:26:03,817
(Sighs) I'm not going anywhere
and you're not getting me wankered.
499
00:26:05,606 --> 00:26:08,399
DAVID: I'm completely wankered,
you bastards.
500
00:26:08,400 --> 00:26:11,486
TOM: 11th hour with the lads, of course
you were gonna get wankered.
501
00:26:11,487 --> 00:26:14,530
LUKE: You're not seriously going
to move out here, are you, David?
502
00:26:14,531 --> 00:26:16,365
What‘ll happen to us if you go?
503
00:26:16,366 --> 00:26:20,578
DAVID: I'll always be there for you,
mate, wherever I am.
504
00:26:20,579 --> 00:26:23,081
We're practically brothers.
505
00:26:23,082 --> 00:26:28,086
So what? If Chip doesn't have a penis,
it doesn't reflect on you.
506
00:26:28,087 --> 00:26:30,171
LUKE: Who told you
Chip doesn't have a penis?
507
00:26:30,172 --> 00:26:32,006
<i>- </i> Tom did.
- Tom!
508
00:26:32,007 --> 00:26:34,383
TOM: That Chip has sailed! (Laughs)
509
00:26:34,384 --> 00:26:35,927
This place is a nightmare.
510
00:26:35,928 --> 00:26:39,013
They don't tell you about all this shit
in the adverts, do they?
511
00:26:39,014 --> 00:26:40,681
Guys, watch this.
512
00:26:40,682 --> 00:26:43,017
Graham. Graham.
513
00:26:43,018 --> 00:26:45,061
What the fuck is that on your neck,
man?
514
00:26:45,062 --> 00:26:46,604
(squeals)
515
00:26:46,605 --> 00:26:48,858
(All laugh)
- Get it off me! Get it off me!
516
00:26:51,777 --> 00:26:54,195
Get off me! Get off me!
517
00:26:54,196 --> 00:26:57,156
Seriously, where is it? Where is it?
Where is it, guys?
518
00:26:57,157 --> 00:26:59,784
It's on the ground, Graham,
with all the other leaves.
519
00:26:59,785 --> 00:27:02,787
(All laugh)
GRAHAM: Bastards.
520
00:27:02,788 --> 00:27:05,164
<i>(Bleating)</i>
521
00:27:05,165 --> 00:27:07,542
What the fuck do we have here?
522
00:27:07,543 --> 00:27:09,585
<i>(Laughing)</i>
523
00:27:09,586 --> 00:27:12,055
GRAHAM: Look at the size
of his man boobs.
524
00:27:15,134 --> 00:27:17,009
This isn't just any sheep, Graham.
525
00:27:17,010 --> 00:27:19,387
This is Ramsy.
526
00:27:19,388 --> 00:27:21,140
The ram behind the man.
527
00:27:24,810 --> 00:27:29,355
TOM: David, get in there.
DAVID: No, no, I will not...
528
00:27:29,356 --> 00:27:31,950
<i>(Laughing and bleating)</i>
529
00:27:35,529 --> 00:27:39,615
Six hours and 59 minutes till lift-off.
Go, go, go, people!
530
00:27:39,616 --> 00:27:41,289
(Sounds horn)
- Come on!
531
00:27:44,329 --> 00:27:46,372
<i>(Door opens) (Gasps)</i>
532
00:27:46,373 --> 00:27:48,166
It's not too late to elope.
533
00:27:48,167 --> 00:27:52,003
(Laughs) Oh, yeah, Dad would be cool
if I went and eloped.
534
00:27:52,004 --> 00:27:55,590
Yeah, leave it to me to do
all the bad-ass stuff in this family.
535
00:27:55,591 --> 00:27:59,594
Like smoking, failing uni,
eating cheesecake.
536
00:27:59,595 --> 00:28:03,389
And pretending to be a lesbian
just to piss Dad off.
537
00:28:03,390 --> 00:28:06,601
Daph, is it normal to feel this nervous?
538
00:28:06,602 --> 00:28:10,563
Yeah, you could be about to make
the biggest mistake of your life.
539
00:28:10,564 --> 00:28:14,150
d It's a beautiful morning
540
00:28:14,151 --> 00:28:16,569
d Oh, oh... d
(Gasps)
541
00:28:16,570 --> 00:28:20,573
d I think I'll just go outside
for a while
542
00:28:20,574 --> 00:28:23,373
d And just smile
543
00:28:24,536 --> 00:28:28,164
d Just take in
some clean fresh air, boy
544
00:28:28,165 --> 00:28:31,375
d Ain't no sense in staying inside
545
00:28:31,376 --> 00:28:36,172
d If the weather’s fine
and you still got the time
546
00:28:36,173 --> 00:28:39,217
d It's your chance to wake up and plan
547
00:28:39,218 --> 00:28:42,178
d Another brand-new day
d Either <i>way</i>
548
00:28:42,179 --> 00:28:45,014
d It's a beautiful morning... d
549
00:28:45,015 --> 00:28:46,682
Aaah!
550
00:28:46,683 --> 00:28:49,560
- Fuck it!
(Clatter)
551
00:28:49,561 --> 00:28:51,896
GRAHAM: Luke! Tom!
<i>- </i> (Groans)
552
00:28:51,897 --> 00:28:55,983
- What are you shouting about?
<i>- </i> What do you think I'm shouting about?
553
00:28:55,984 --> 00:28:59,153
- Get it off me!
- (Laughs)
554
00:28:59,154 --> 00:29:03,157
- Alright, alright, calm down.
- (Whimpers)
555
00:29:03,158 --> 00:29:06,285
Quick! Get it off me, please.
I can't breathe.
556
00:29:06,286 --> 00:29:08,371
- What do you look like?
- Just get it off me.
557
00:29:08,372 --> 00:29:09,914
- (Laughs)
- Please.
558
00:29:09,915 --> 00:29:14,001
d ..sun shines
when you're still inside, man
559
00:29:14,002 --> 00:29:16,170
d Still inside
560
00:29:16,171 --> 00:29:19,382
d Still inside, the sun shines... d
561
00:29:19,383 --> 00:29:21,010
Hey, Ramsy.
562
00:29:23,011 --> 00:29:24,729
(Bleats)
563
00:29:26,765 --> 00:29:28,813
Oh, for fuck's sake.
564
00:29:30,978 --> 00:29:32,980
(Bleats)
565
00:29:41,071 --> 00:29:43,119
(Hums The Wedding March)
566
00:29:48,120 --> 00:29:50,997
<i>(Knock on door)
- Hang on, I got to get that.</i>
567
00:29:50,998 --> 00:29:53,582
No, not while I'm like this, Tom.
568
00:29:53,583 --> 00:29:56,211
- What the fuck happened to my hand?
- Tom...
569
00:29:57,754 --> 00:30:00,423
- Tom.
- Barbara, hi.
570
00:30:00,424 --> 00:30:04,019
I see you made it through
the big night out in one piece.
571
00:30:06,555 --> 00:30:11,017
Um, just checking
if you needed any clean... towels.
572
00:30:11,018 --> 00:30:14,020
No, I think we're OK for towels.
Graham?
573
00:30:14,021 --> 00:30:18,607
- Need some towels?
<i>- </i> Uh, no, thanks, Barbara. Thank you.
574
00:30:18,608 --> 00:30:21,527
TOM: David might like some.
575
00:30:21,528 --> 00:30:24,372
BARBARA: Rightio, then.
576
00:30:26,199 --> 00:30:27,746
Bye, Barbara.
577
00:30:30,746 --> 00:30:32,999
(Hums The Wedding March)
578
00:30:38,545 --> 00:30:41,014
- (Ramsy bleats)
- (Clears throat)
579
00:30:43,008 --> 00:30:45,801
Morning, David!
All ready for the big day?
580
00:30:45,802 --> 00:30:47,053
Yeah.
581
00:30:47,054 --> 00:30:49,221
Just wondering if I could check
in your room...
582
00:30:49,222 --> 00:30:52,600
God, no! Uh, I mean, no. Thanks.
583
00:30:52,601 --> 00:30:55,603
<i>(Bleating)
- (Laughs)</i>
584
00:30:55,604 --> 00:30:58,981
OK, well, if you need anything,
if you need anything at all,
585
00:30:58,982 --> 00:31:00,566
you just let me know, OK?
586
00:31:00,567 --> 00:31:02,068
Yep.
587
00:31:02,069 --> 00:31:03,787
- OK, bye.
- Bye.
588
00:31:10,327 --> 00:31:13,206
(Graham groans)
<i>- </i> You alright, bruv?
589
00:31:14,956 --> 00:31:16,799
GRAHAM: Back off.
- Jesus, Graham!
590
00:31:16,800 --> 00:31:18,793
Why are you wearing a gimp mask?
591
00:31:18,794 --> 00:31:22,004
Ah! He put it on me while I was asleep.
592
00:31:22,005 --> 00:31:24,090
I don't know why
you thought that'd be funny.
593
00:31:24,091 --> 00:31:26,801
- Yeah, must be insane, it's not funny.
- Stop it!
594
00:31:26,802 --> 00:31:30,054
The bigger question is
what is Ramsy doing in my room?
595
00:31:30,055 --> 00:31:31,932
- Who?
- The sheep!
596
00:31:33,975 --> 00:31:35,810
Jim's sheep.
597
00:31:35,811 --> 00:31:38,562
That's right, the little fucker bit me
598
00:31:38,563 --> 00:31:41,190
It's in my room
just like a lady... sheep.
599
00:31:41,191 --> 00:31:44,568
- That was your idea to put it in drag.
- Oh, yeah, I did, didn't I?
600
00:31:44,569 --> 00:31:46,612
I thought it'd be quite funny
at the time.
601
00:31:46,613 --> 00:31:49,490
You need to get him back
before someone realises he's missing.
602
00:31:49,491 --> 00:31:52,785
If Jim finds out we fucked with Ram,
he's gonna go apes hit.
603
00:31:52,786 --> 00:31:55,454
And I don't want to deal with that
on my wedding day, do you?
604
00:31:55,455 --> 00:31:57,998
- No.
<i>- </i> Right then, so fix it.
605
00:31:57,999 --> 00:32:01,961
Get her... him back to the old house.
606
00:32:01,962 --> 00:32:03,464
Sorry.
607
00:32:11,763 --> 00:32:13,015
<i>(Bleating)</i>
608
00:32:13,016 --> 00:32:18,191
d I rode my bicycle
past your window last night
609
00:32:19,729 --> 00:32:25,025
d I roller skated to your door
at daylight
610
00:32:25,026 --> 00:32:27,361
d It almost seemed... d
- Tom, seriously!
611
00:32:27,362 --> 00:32:29,205
Can you stop filming me, please?
612
00:32:33,118 --> 00:32:35,953
d But you got something I need... d
613
00:32:35,954 --> 00:32:39,373
It's an elephant in sheep's clothing.
614
00:32:39,374 --> 00:32:41,375
Oh, bless. It kind of suits him.
615
00:32:41,376 --> 00:32:44,587
- Just, please, sort this out, OK?
(Luke groans)
616
00:32:44,588 --> 00:32:47,055
And, Graham, shave off
that bloody Hitler moustache
617
00:32:47,056 --> 00:32:48,675
or you're not coming to the wedding.
618
00:32:48,676 --> 00:32:50,801
- Seriously?
<i>- </i> Yes, seriously.
619
00:32:50,802 --> 00:32:52,136
(Bleats)
620
00:32:52,137 --> 00:32:54,013
d You got something for me?
621
00:32:54,014 --> 00:32:57,808
d Oh, I got a brand-new pair
of roller skates
622
00:32:57,809 --> 00:33:00,019
d You got a brand-new key... d
623
00:33:00,020 --> 00:33:02,148
(Gargles)
624
00:33:03,440 --> 00:33:05,357
Hi, Sarah, it's Luke.
625
00:33:05,358 --> 00:33:07,693
Four in the morning? Oh, I'm sorry.
626
00:33:07,694 --> 00:33:10,362
d Don't go too fast
627
00:33:10,363 --> 00:33:12,698
d But I go pretty far... d
628
00:33:12,699 --> 00:33:15,618
Tom, shouldn't you put some clothes on
while you're doing that?
629
00:33:15,619 --> 00:33:17,917
- You think he wants to see you naked?
- He's naked.
630
00:33:17,918 --> 00:33:20,581
- Don't be so repressed, Graham.
- I'm not repressed, Tom.
631
00:33:20,582 --> 00:33:23,334
I just don't want to see your knob
first thing in the morning.
632
00:33:23,335 --> 00:33:25,463
- I already feel sick.
<i>- </i> Yeah, sick with envy.
633
00:33:25,464 --> 00:33:30,341
d Oh, yeah
634
00:33:30,342 --> 00:33:32,426
d Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah
635
00:33:32,427 --> 00:33:36,222
d Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. d
636
00:33:36,223 --> 00:33:38,349
Look, it's totally understandable,
Graham,
637
00:33:38,350 --> 00:33:40,148
for you to wish
you had a body like mine.
638
00:33:40,149 --> 00:33:42,811
Oh, yeah, I really wish
I looked like a big ginger spider.
639
00:33:42,812 --> 00:33:45,314
I've got a low centre of gravity
which is quite handy
640
00:33:45,315 --> 00:33:48,067
when you're playing sports like football
and stuff bec...
641
00:33:48,068 --> 00:33:49,818
<i>(Gasps) (Music stops)</i>
642
00:33:49,819 --> 00:33:51,696
(Whimpers)
643
00:33:53,740 --> 00:33:56,784
- Tom. Tom.
- What's the matter?
644
00:33:56,785 --> 00:33:59,584
I think I must have picked it up
from Ray's by mistake.
645
00:34:01,581 --> 00:34:03,791
Are you completely fucked in the head,
Graham?
646
00:34:03,792 --> 00:34:05,758
You don't steal drugs
from a guy like Ray.
647
00:34:05,759 --> 00:34:07,720
I didn't steal it, Tom,
it was an accident.
648
00:34:07,721 --> 00:34:10,381
What kind of a bell end takes a bag
of cocaine by accident?
649
00:34:10,382 --> 00:34:12,091
GRAHAM: Oh, my God.
650
00:34:12,092 --> 00:34:15,594
We're dead. He's gonna beat us
to death with the iron.
651
00:34:15,595 --> 00:34:17,846
What do you mean, we?
I didn't steal his stash.
652
00:34:17,847 --> 00:34:22,017
Well, he's your dealer. I didn't
wanna go there in the first place!
653
00:34:22,018 --> 00:34:24,395
Oh, my God, Tom.
654
00:34:24,396 --> 00:34:26,114
<i>- </i> You have to take it back.
- What?
655
00:34:29,317 --> 00:34:31,986
- You alright, mate?
<i>- </i> I'm fine, yeah.
656
00:34:31,987 --> 00:34:34,572
- Sorted out that sheep yet?
<i>- </i> Pretty much, yeah.
657
00:34:34,573 --> 00:34:37,783
Good. I can't afford
any fuck-ups today, OK?
658
00:34:37,784 --> 00:34:41,787
Yeah, uh, talking about that, I think
me and Graham might need to nip off
659
00:34:41,788 --> 00:34:43,330
just for an hour or so.
660
00:34:43,331 --> 00:34:45,800
- What?
<i>- </i> We got something we need to do...
661
00:34:45,801 --> 00:34:48,502
If you leave me today,
I swear I'll never speak to you again.
662
00:34:48,503 --> 00:34:50,380
- Do you understand?
- Yeah, no problem.
663
00:34:53,967 --> 00:34:55,560
You look great.
664
00:34:56,761 --> 00:34:57,853
(sighs)
665
00:35:00,974 --> 00:35:02,600
- Well?
<i>- </i> It's a no-go.
666
00:35:02,601 --> 00:35:03,642
Oh...
667
00:35:03,643 --> 00:35:05,936
We'll have to take it back
first thing tomorrow
668
00:35:05,937 --> 00:35:08,230
and explain what happened.
Ray'll understand.
669
00:35:08,231 --> 00:35:11,025
- He's a reasonable man.
<i>- </i> He's a very unreasonable man, Tom!
670
00:35:11,026 --> 00:35:13,736
Did you hear what he said
about smashing people's kneecaps
671
00:35:13,737 --> 00:35:15,237
with household appliances?
672
00:35:15,238 --> 00:35:19,658
Shut up! Does that look like
reasonable behaviour to you, Tom?
673
00:35:19,659 --> 00:35:22,244
<i>- </i> Not what you're showing me, no.
- You should call him.
674
00:35:22,245 --> 00:35:25,414
- Fuck off! <i>- </i> Just say
we'll bring the bag tomorrow.
675
00:35:25,415 --> 00:35:27,838
Why don't you give him a call?
You're the one he likes.
676
00:35:27,839 --> 00:35:31,008
Because I'll fuck it up. You know
I will. I'll say something stupid.
677
00:35:32,756 --> 00:35:34,599
You're such a pain in the arse!
678
00:35:36,718 --> 00:35:38,886
- Got no reception.
- Please try.
679
00:35:38,887 --> 00:35:40,596
You owe me for this.
680
00:35:40,597 --> 00:35:42,181
d Ooh la la la
681
00:35:42,182 --> 00:35:45,809
d Oh, I've got a brand-new pair
of roller skates
682
00:35:45,810 --> 00:35:49,155
d You got a brand-new key. d
683
00:35:51,107 --> 00:35:54,568
Ah, you look like
a really beautiful meringue.
684
00:35:54,569 --> 00:35:56,788
(Laughs) Don't make me laugh,
I can't breathe.
685
00:35:58,782 --> 00:36:02,576
- Something old.
<i>- </i> Oh, Mum, not your lucky coin.
686
00:36:02,577 --> 00:36:04,170
BARBARA: You might need it.
687
00:36:05,163 --> 00:36:08,457
Hello, Ray?
Yeah, it's terrible reception.
688
00:36:08,458 --> 00:36:10,881
- It's an answering machine.
<i>- </i> Leave a message.
689
00:36:10,882 --> 00:36:13,462
- Can you just step back a bit?
PHONE: ..after the <i>beep.</i>
690
00:36:13,463 --> 00:36:15,589
Yeah, hi, Ray. It's Tom and Graham.
691
00:36:15,590 --> 00:36:18,175
Listen, we hate to tell you this
but we've got your coke.
692
00:36:18,176 --> 00:36:20,678
- Tell him it was a mistake.
- It was a mistake of course.
693
00:36:20,679 --> 00:36:22,773
<i>- </i> And we'll bring it back tomorrow.
- Shut up.
694
00:36:22,774 --> 00:36:24,306
- Alright.
<i>- </i> Not you, Ray.
695
00:36:24,307 --> 00:36:26,392
That was Graham
being a shithead as usual.
696
00:36:26,393 --> 00:36:29,311
Anyway, we're really sorry, man.
We'll bring it back tomorrow.
697
00:36:29,312 --> 00:36:31,735
<i>- </i> And hope we haven't caused any...
- Inconvenience.
698
00:36:31,736 --> 00:36:33,859
..inconvenience
and have a great weekend.
699
00:36:35,193 --> 00:36:37,653
(Sighs) There, done.
700
00:36:37,654 --> 00:36:39,321
(Sighs) Cheers, mate.
701
00:36:39,322 --> 00:36:41,450
Now get dressed quickly,
we're gonna be late.
702
00:36:42,826 --> 00:36:46,251
My wedding suit.
I left it in the bag at Ray's.
703
00:36:53,503 --> 00:36:55,254
Oh, spoiled for choice.
704
00:36:55,255 --> 00:36:57,673
REPORTER: Political king maker
Jim Ramme
705
00:36:57,674 --> 00:37:01,009
negotiates a different kind of coalition
today <i>...</i>
706
00:37:01,010 --> 00:37:04,888
the wedding of his daughter Mia,
or should that be Princess Mia,
707
00:37:04,889 --> 00:37:07,099
to David Locking.
708
00:37:07,100 --> 00:37:08,943
How's that? Crap?
709
00:37:17,819 --> 00:37:21,447
d This morning
I woke up with this feeling
710
00:37:21,448 --> 00:37:24,074
d I didn't know how to deal with
711
00:37:24,075 --> 00:37:27,870
d So I just decided to myself... d
712
00:37:27,871 --> 00:37:30,664
Borrow some ugg boots
if you're getting cold feet, Dave.
713
00:37:30,665 --> 00:37:33,667
Oh, Jim. Not at all.
714
00:37:33,668 --> 00:37:36,253
There's only one person
you got to impress here today.
715
00:37:36,254 --> 00:37:38,839
<i>- I know, Mi...
- Eddie Marshall.</i>
716
00:37:38,840 --> 00:37:40,466
Chief Party Whip.
717
00:37:40,467 --> 00:37:43,886
He's the last man standing between
you and your surprise wedding present.
718
00:37:43,887 --> 00:37:45,596
So why don't you slide over there
719
00:37:45,597 --> 00:37:48,476
and dazzle him with
some of your cheeky English charm?
720
00:37:50,852 --> 00:37:52,354
<i>(Belch)</i>
721
00:38:01,821 --> 00:38:04,072
<i>- </i> Hey, Luke.
- David.
722
00:38:04,073 --> 00:38:05,866
- You...
<i>- </i> (Clears throat)
723
00:38:05,867 --> 00:38:07,951
- ..doing OK?
<i>- </i> Yeah, I'm doing fine.
724
00:38:07,952 --> 00:38:09,912
I'm really, really good.
725
00:38:09,913 --> 00:38:12,206
Never better.
726
00:38:12,207 --> 00:38:14,666
- Did you call Sarah again?
- Yeah.
727
00:38:14,667 --> 00:38:19,046
Uh, she said that she hates my guts
and that she wishes I were dead.
728
00:38:19,047 --> 00:38:20,672
Jesus, Luke.
729
00:38:20,673 --> 00:38:22,925
Look, Dave, please, come on,
look, it's fine.
730
00:38:22,926 --> 00:38:23,973
OK.
731
00:38:27,972 --> 00:38:30,098
You look like my Uncle Reggie
who's dead.
732
00:38:30,099 --> 00:38:32,476
Great! I look like a total idiot.
733
00:38:32,477 --> 00:38:34,853
Look at these sleeves, they're too long!
734
00:38:34,854 --> 00:38:37,152
- Just keep your arms by your side.
<i>- </i> What, all day?
735
00:38:37,153 --> 00:38:38,690
I'll look like a fucking penguin.
736
00:38:38,691 --> 00:38:41,112
Oh, these are the itchiest trousers
I've ever worn.
737
00:38:41,113 --> 00:38:42,612
Seriously, it's unbearable.
738
00:38:42,613 --> 00:38:46,114
You're lucky you have any trousers
at all. Now, stop scratching your balls.
739
00:38:46,115 --> 00:38:47,867
Speaker of the House, Marion Bowers.
740
00:38:47,868 --> 00:38:50,244
And my old mate,
Commissioner Leo Marinetti.
741
00:38:50,245 --> 00:38:53,080
Commissioner Marinetti.
Nice to meet you all.
742
00:38:53,081 --> 00:38:56,667
- Any of your family joining you, David?
BARBARA: David lost his family.
743
00:38:56,668 --> 00:38:59,253
<i>- </i> But he has us now.
JIM: Well, almost.
744
00:38:59,254 --> 00:39:02,548
So we'll count his friends as family
until then.
745
00:39:02,549 --> 00:39:04,883
It's a very important thing, family.
746
00:39:04,884 --> 00:39:07,261
<i>- </i> You need to appreciate them.
- Yeah.
747
00:39:07,262 --> 00:39:10,264
Even when the maid of honour
turns into the best man?
748
00:39:10,265 --> 00:39:11,723
DAPHNE: Ouch.
749
00:39:11,724 --> 00:39:13,647
COMMISSIONER:
That's families for you.
750
00:39:13,648 --> 00:39:16,895
When they're no longer around to
drive you bonkers, you wish they were.
751
00:39:16,896 --> 00:39:19,231
But by then it's too late.
752
00:39:19,232 --> 00:39:21,275
All you're left with are regrets
753
00:39:21,276 --> 00:39:23,360
Memories.
754
00:39:23,361 --> 00:39:25,112
Wasted years.
755
00:39:25,113 --> 00:39:27,489
Excuse me a minute.
756
00:39:27,490 --> 00:39:28,907
I look bloody mental!
757
00:39:28,908 --> 00:39:32,119
What kind of grenade takes his luggage
into a drug dealer's anyway?
758
00:39:32,120 --> 00:39:34,162
Tom! You made us go there
in the first place!
759
00:39:34,163 --> 00:39:35,789
Excuse me. Graham!
760
00:39:35,790 --> 00:39:39,585
- What the hell are you wearing?
<i>- </i> I forgot my suit, had to borrow this.
761
00:39:39,586 --> 00:39:42,045
d VIVALDI: La Primavera
762
00:39:42,046 --> 00:39:43,889
- Oh, God, this is it.
- Bloody hell.
763
00:39:43,890 --> 00:39:47,885
Before I forget, Tom,
my wedding present for Mia.
764
00:39:47,886 --> 00:39:49,684
What, a mobile phone? That's romantic.
765
00:39:49,685 --> 00:39:52,264
A video. Just before my speech,
plug it into the monitor,
766
00:39:52,265 --> 00:39:53,765
hit play when I give the word.
767
00:39:53,766 --> 00:39:55,814
- Got it.
<i>- </i> You got that sheep back, yeah?
768
00:39:55,815 --> 00:39:57,477
Oh, no! l forgot.
769
00:39:57,478 --> 00:39:59,856
- How did you forget?
<i>- </i> There's a lot going on, David.
770
00:39:59,857 --> 00:40:02,774
Just make sure you deal with it
straight after the ceremony, OK?
771
00:40:02,775 --> 00:40:05,235
(Luke laughs)
772
00:40:05,236 --> 00:40:07,738
- Oh, Jesus, we've lost Luke.
- Oh, God.
773
00:40:07,739 --> 00:40:10,282
(Luke laughs hysterically)
<i>- </i> What the fuck is he doing?
774
00:40:10,283 --> 00:40:13,118
Alright, we'll deal with him.
Graham, stick him in the car.
775
00:40:13,119 --> 00:40:15,042
- What? Why me?
<i>- </i> I'm taking care of David.
776
00:40:15,043 --> 00:40:16,460
(sighs)
777
00:40:22,045 --> 00:40:24,673
- Let's do this.
<i>- </i> Right behind you, brother.
778
00:40:26,424 --> 00:40:28,884
(Luke laughs)
<i>- </i> What are you doing?
779
00:40:28,885 --> 00:40:30,469
Ah!
780
00:40:30,470 --> 00:40:33,314
Jesus, Luke!
How much have you drunk?
781
00:40:42,065 --> 00:40:43,440
(Plays violin)
782
00:40:43,441 --> 00:40:45,442
<i>- </i> Here you go, the ring.
DAVID: Thanks.
783
00:40:45,443 --> 00:40:48,445
<i>(Camera clicks)</i>
784
00:40:48,446 --> 00:40:50,665
d Pachelbel's Canon
785
00:41:08,549 --> 00:41:11,393
d The Wedding March
786
00:41:13,429 --> 00:41:15,227
Here we go.
787
00:41:37,245 --> 00:41:39,293
(Daphne plays violin very badly)
788
00:41:42,417 --> 00:41:44,340
<i>(clapping)</i>
789
00:41:45,628 --> 00:41:50,674
Dearly beloved, when someone puts
a ring on the finger of another,
790
00:41:50,675 --> 00:41:53,969
they pronounce, Now you are mine
791
00:41:53,970 --> 00:41:57,889
That act of possession
removes mystery
792
00:41:57,890 --> 00:42:01,268
and marks the end of a relationship,
not the beginning,
793
00:42:01,269 --> 00:42:06,398
because real wisdom
does not try to own love,
794
00:42:06,399 --> 00:42:08,734
doesn't try to control it
795
00:42:08,735 --> 00:42:11,945
but simply stands in awe and says,
796
00:42:11,946 --> 00:42:14,870
I love you
797
00:42:18,244 --> 00:42:20,292
d Rock music
798
00:42:21,789 --> 00:42:25,168
David, please place the ring
on Mia's finger.
799
00:42:26,294 --> 00:42:29,212
d Rock music
800
00:42:29,213 --> 00:42:31,762
Mia, please place the ring
on David's finger.
801
00:42:33,092 --> 00:42:34,719
d Rock music
802
00:42:35,887 --> 00:42:39,723
Mia, do you take this man to be
your lawful wedded husband...
803
00:42:39,724 --> 00:42:41,183
d Rock music
804
00:42:41,184 --> 00:42:42,809
..to have and to hold...
805
00:42:42,810 --> 00:42:44,227
d Rock music
806
00:42:44,228 --> 00:42:45,650
..in sickness and in health...
807
00:42:45,651 --> 00:42:46,813
d Rock music
808
00:42:46,814 --> 00:42:48,361
- ..till death do you part?
- I do.
809
00:42:48,362 --> 00:42:50,405
d Rock music
810
00:42:51,694 --> 00:42:54,571
And, David, do you take this woman
811
00:42:54,572 --> 00:42:56,495
to be your lawful wedded wife...
812
00:42:59,118 --> 00:43:00,911
..to have and to hold...
813
00:43:00,912 --> 00:43:02,454
Ah!
814
00:43:02,455 --> 00:43:04,206
..in sickness and in health
815
00:43:04,207 --> 00:43:06,291
till death do you part?
816
00:43:06,292 --> 00:43:07,834
I do.
817
00:43:07,835 --> 00:43:09,087
GUESTS: Ooh! Oof!
818
00:43:09,088 --> 00:43:10,796
By the power vested in me,
819
00:43:10,797 --> 00:43:14,466
I now pronounce you husband and wife.
820
00:43:14,467 --> 00:43:17,260
<i>- </i> You may now kiss the bride.
- Ball!
821
00:43:17,261 --> 00:43:19,221
Massive ball!
822
00:43:19,222 --> 00:43:21,350
(Screaming)
823
00:43:31,567 --> 00:43:35,612
JIM: Well, I promised you a ball
and boy, didn't I deliver?
824
00:43:35,613 --> 00:43:38,615
So, into the marquee.
Uh, put your drinks on my tab.
825
00:43:38,616 --> 00:43:41,201
Let's get this Liberal Party started,
eh?
826
00:43:41,202 --> 00:43:42,786
Are you OK?
827
00:43:42,787 --> 00:43:45,831
Two feet to the right and Eddie Marshall
would have been flattened
828
00:43:45,832 --> 00:43:47,374
by a runaway flower arrangement.
829
00:43:47,375 --> 00:43:49,171
He always comes up smelling of roses!
830
00:43:49,172 --> 00:43:50,340
That is not helping!
831
00:43:50,341 --> 00:43:53,421
- It's probably just a sprain.
- Mia, I am so sorry.
832
00:43:53,422 --> 00:43:56,216
David, don't worry about it, honestly.
833
00:43:56,217 --> 00:43:59,219
Look on the bright side, we'll
probably be a YouTube sensation.
834
00:43:59,220 --> 00:44:00,387
Great!
835
00:44:00,388 --> 00:44:02,430
- Oh, easy, easy, easy.
- Mine, it's mine.
836
00:44:02,431 --> 00:44:03,473
Luke!
837
00:44:03,474 --> 00:44:05,851
- We're almost there.
- (Clears throat)
838
00:44:05,852 --> 00:44:08,061
Uh, Jim.
839
00:44:08,062 --> 00:44:12,023
<i>- </i> I am so, so sorry.
- For what?
840
00:44:12,024 --> 00:44:15,026
Your best man playing skittles
with the Australian parliament?
841
00:44:15,027 --> 00:44:18,281
You had better go and tell your mates
to pull their thick heads in, Dave.
842
00:44:22,785 --> 00:44:24,002
Eddie!
843
00:44:26,789 --> 00:44:30,375
Aah! So sorry, man.
Don't know what happened.
844
00:44:30,376 --> 00:44:33,211
You drank three bottles of champagne,
that's what happened.
845
00:44:33,212 --> 00:44:35,255
I was loosening up
for the best man's speech
846
00:44:35,256 --> 00:44:37,132
which is under control.
847
00:44:37,133 --> 00:44:40,218
(Reads) By the way,
congratulations to David and Mia...
848
00:44:40,219 --> 00:44:41,845
OK, you don't have to do it now.
849
00:44:41,846 --> 00:44:43,597
I'm so glad that you found a woman
850
00:44:43,598 --> 00:44:46,308
- Don't peak too early.
<i>- </i> Told you it should have been me.
851
00:44:46,309 --> 00:44:48,152
(Reads) ..acting like a filthy whore.
852
00:44:48,153 --> 00:44:50,238
That was rubbish.
853
00:44:51,564 --> 00:44:53,481
(Sighs) My God, they must hate me.
854
00:44:53,482 --> 00:44:55,609
TOM: Of course they don't hate you.
Who could?
855
00:44:55,610 --> 00:44:57,203
GRAHAM: Shit.
856
00:44:58,196 --> 00:45:01,031
Whoa, leave her alone, leave her alone.
Put her down.
857
00:45:01,032 --> 00:45:03,501
We're gonna need to rethink
the best man's speech.
858
00:45:03,502 --> 00:45:05,244
I'll take care of it.
859
00:45:06,787 --> 00:45:08,788
Stop it. Sony.
860
00:45:08,789 --> 00:45:12,000
d Love
861
00:45:12,001 --> 00:45:16,051
d Exciting and new
862
00:45:17,048 --> 00:45:18,846
d Come aboard
863
00:45:20,593 --> 00:45:22,135
d We're expecting
864
00:45:22,136 --> 00:45:24,059
Sorry, I've got really itchy trousers.
865
00:45:24,060 --> 00:45:26,806
Oh, you can play with your balls
till you're blue in the face,
866
00:45:26,807 --> 00:45:28,024
it doesn't bother me.
867
00:45:29,602 --> 00:45:31,853
- I really like your outfit.
- You do?
868
00:45:31,854 --> 00:45:35,028
It's a really nice... outfit.
869
00:45:36,442 --> 00:45:38,485
Yeah, well, I wasn't gonna wear a dress.
870
00:45:38,486 --> 00:45:41,446
Even if these pants
do ride up my bum crack.
871
00:45:41,447 --> 00:45:43,907
Here you are, mate...
872
00:45:43,908 --> 00:45:45,617
Well, I'd happily swap, you know.
873
00:45:45,618 --> 00:45:48,828
I'll wear those trousers
and you can wear the itchy...
874
00:45:48,829 --> 00:45:51,665
- Listen, can I borrow you for a second?
- Yeah, sure.
875
00:45:51,666 --> 00:45:54,000
- This is Daphne, Mia's sister.
- Hi, Dorothy.
876
00:45:54,001 --> 00:45:55,877
You can have him back in a minute.
877
00:45:55,878 --> 00:45:59,839
Wait, Tom, did you have to drag me
away like that? I was doing really well.
878
00:45:59,840 --> 00:46:01,592
Come on now, it's never gonna happen.
879
00:46:01,593 --> 00:46:03,051
Why not?
880
00:46:03,052 --> 00:46:05,053
For one thing,
you're in an old man's suit.
881
00:46:05,054 --> 00:46:06,721
Plus, she's a lesbian.
882
00:46:06,722 --> 00:46:08,807
Yeah? Well, I thought
maybe I could turn her.
883
00:46:08,808 --> 00:46:12,227
Don't be ridiculous. You won't turn
a muff-muncher. Even I'd find it hard.
884
00:46:12,228 --> 00:46:15,605
Listen, you're gonna have to take care
of the best man's speech.
885
00:46:15,606 --> 00:46:17,816
- Right.
- Great.
886
00:46:17,817 --> 00:46:20,193
Sorry, what do you mean by
‘take care of the speech‘?
887
00:46:20,194 --> 00:46:22,572
You have to do the speech,
they'll call you in five.
888
00:46:22,573 --> 00:46:24,030
- Right.
- Good.
889
00:46:24,031 --> 00:46:25,783
- Sorry, one quick question.
- What?
890
00:46:25,784 --> 00:46:29,035
Are you out of your fucking mind?
A speech in front of all these people?
891
00:46:29,036 --> 00:46:31,830
- I don't have my material.
<i>- </i> I thought you wanted this!
892
00:46:31,831 --> 00:46:33,957
I don't want it thrust on me
at the last minute!
893
00:46:33,958 --> 00:46:36,042
<i>- </i> Just make something up!
- I can't, Tom.
894
00:46:36,043 --> 00:46:38,214
<i>- </i> You make something up.
- Listen to me, Graham.
895
00:46:38,215 --> 00:46:40,214
David needs you,
this is his wedding day.
896
00:46:40,215 --> 00:46:43,216
So step up and take some responsibility
for once in your life.
897
00:46:43,217 --> 00:46:47,637
I'm the one who called Ray,
you're the one who's doing the speech.
898
00:46:47,638 --> 00:46:50,266
And don't worry, I'll give you a hand.
899
00:46:52,393 --> 00:46:54,436
I didn't ruin your wedding day, did I?
900
00:46:54,437 --> 00:46:57,605
- Well... <i>- </i> You know
I love you so much, dude.
901
00:46:57,606 --> 00:46:59,153
Love you too.
902
00:47:00,568 --> 00:47:04,529
You know, if you had a vagina,
I'd probably have sex with you.
903
00:47:04,530 --> 00:47:07,741
Actually, I think I'd have sex with you
even if you didn't have a 'gina
904
00:47:07,742 --> 00:47:10,410
just to show you what a good friend
I think you are.
905
00:47:10,411 --> 00:47:14,205
That won't be necessary,
but good to know.
906
00:47:14,206 --> 00:47:16,083
Now go to bed and sleep it off, OK?
907
00:47:21,005 --> 00:47:22,589
(sighs)
908
00:47:22,590 --> 00:47:24,638
<i>(Bleating)</i>
909
00:47:27,595 --> 00:47:30,221
<i>- </i> I... don't know what to say.
- Stop.
910
00:47:30,222 --> 00:47:32,850
We did it. We're married.
911
00:47:38,189 --> 00:47:41,316
I thought the best thing that's ever
happened to me was about to be...
912
00:47:41,317 --> 00:47:42,859
Bowled off a cliff?
913
00:47:42,860 --> 00:47:44,703
I don't ever want to lose you, Mia.
914
00:47:44,704 --> 00:47:46,780
Ah, you got me on a beach in Tuvalu.
915
00:47:46,781 --> 00:47:49,449
And guess what,
now you're stuck with me.
916
00:47:49,450 --> 00:47:55,413
Ladies and gentlemen, please vote one
for Mia and Dave Locking-Ramme.
917
00:47:55,414 --> 00:47:57,916
<i>(clapping)</i>
918
00:47:57,917 --> 00:47:59,965
Mr Locking.
919
00:48:01,212 --> 00:48:02,712
Mrs Locking.
920
00:48:02,713 --> 00:48:04,135
Shall we?
921
00:48:06,258 --> 00:48:09,228
d The Wedding March
922
00:48:10,805 --> 00:48:13,807
The rest of the day is gonna be perfect,
I promise you.
923
00:48:13,808 --> 00:48:16,059
I'll get it, Ray.
I swear, just a few more days.
924
00:48:16,060 --> 00:48:18,603
RAY: What do you think I am,
a bloody clown?
925
00:48:18,604 --> 00:48:21,606
Eh? Do I look like a clown? Do I?
926
00:48:21,607 --> 00:48:23,400
<i>- </i> Excuse me, Ray.
- What?
927
00:48:23,401 --> 00:48:25,485
There's a message
on the answering machine.
928
00:48:25,486 --> 00:48:27,033
I think you might wanna hear it.
929
00:48:29,031 --> 00:48:30,997
<i>MACHINE: Hi, Ray.
It's Tom and Graham...</i>
930
00:48:30,998 --> 00:48:32,038
<i>(Static)</i>
931
00:48:32,039 --> 00:48:33,743
<i>We hate... you.</i>
932
00:48:33,744 --> 00:48:35,495
<i>(Static)</i>
933
00:48:35,496 --> 00:48:38,164
<i>We've got your coke... shithead.
(Static)</i>
934
00:48:38,165 --> 00:48:40,008
<i>Have a great weekend.</i>
935
00:48:47,216 --> 00:48:49,342
Fuck! Fuck!
936
00:48:49,343 --> 00:48:53,054
He's stolen my drugs!
He's stolen my bloody drugs!
937
00:48:53,055 --> 00:48:55,598
I trusted the little bastard!
938
00:48:55,599 --> 00:48:58,184
You little prick!
I'm gonna string him up!
939
00:48:58,185 --> 00:49:00,562
I'm gonna hang him up
by the fucking balls!
940
00:49:00,563 --> 00:49:03,982
Ray, it's a wedding invitation.
941
00:49:03,983 --> 00:49:06,236
Get the fucking keys.
942
00:49:07,570 --> 00:49:10,613
Can't believe it.
I can't believe I agreed to do this.
943
00:49:10,614 --> 00:49:12,824
What am I gonna say?
944
00:49:12,825 --> 00:49:16,536
Why not say something about how we're
surprised David's getting married
945
00:49:16,537 --> 00:49:19,289
because when we first met him,
we totally assumed he was gay?
946
00:49:19,290 --> 00:49:21,166
Oh, yeah, yeah, good one.
947
00:49:21,167 --> 00:49:23,668
It's a best man's speech,
it's supposed to be funny.
948
00:49:23,669 --> 00:49:27,046
Have you been out there? I don't think
that's the right audience for this.
949
00:49:27,047 --> 00:49:28,298
They are.
950
00:49:28,299 --> 00:49:31,801
What if I say something about Australia
being England's old penal colony?
951
00:49:31,802 --> 00:49:34,225
You know, something like that,
something relevant.
952
00:49:34,226 --> 00:49:37,599
Why not throw in they're a nation
of in-bred pointy-headed sheep fuckers
953
00:49:37,600 --> 00:49:39,100
who think culture is yoghurt?
954
00:49:39,101 --> 00:49:41,604
Well, if you're so good,
let's see what you've done.
955
00:49:43,189 --> 00:49:46,024
- Oh, great, you've drawn some tits!
- (Laughs)
956
00:49:46,025 --> 00:49:48,193
Thanks, Tom!
You're supposed to be helping me!
957
00:49:48,194 --> 00:49:51,029
I am helping you!
I told you to do the gay thing.
958
00:49:51,030 --> 00:49:52,614
I'm not doing the gay thing.
959
00:49:52,615 --> 00:49:55,158
<i>d Then I</i> knew
<i>d I knew, I knew, I knew, I knew</i>
960
00:49:55,159 --> 00:49:57,753
d She could make me happy... d
961
00:50:00,372 --> 00:50:02,207
- Jim.
- Yes, dear.
962
00:50:02,208 --> 00:50:04,631
What is Eddie Marshall doing
at the bridal table?
963
00:50:06,212 --> 00:50:08,379
That's odd, there must be
some sort of mistake.
964
00:50:08,380 --> 00:50:12,260
Maureen doesn't make mistakes.
Last chance to come clean, dear.
965
00:50:13,594 --> 00:50:16,638
You know how you're always going on
about me never being home?
966
00:50:16,639 --> 00:50:21,059
- When do I go on about it?
- Well, I'm retiring.
967
00:50:21,060 --> 00:50:23,228
That's right,
I'm going to throw in the towel.
968
00:50:23,229 --> 00:50:25,813
And with Eddie's blessing,
I'm gonna give my seat to Mia.
969
00:50:25,814 --> 00:50:27,566
Is that what Mia wants?
970
00:50:28,817 --> 00:50:31,486
- Have you even asked her?
- I don't have to.
971
00:50:31,487 --> 00:50:33,114
<i>- </i> Yes, you do.
- No, I don't.
972
00:50:33,115 --> 00:50:35,281
It's a surprise <i>-</i>
my wedding present.
973
00:50:35,282 --> 00:50:37,501
It's not your wedding, Jim!
974
00:50:40,371 --> 00:50:41,955
(Grunts in anger)
975
00:50:41,956 --> 00:50:43,833
Such a lovely day to be here today.
976
00:50:45,000 --> 00:50:49,087
It's such a lovely day to be here...
Oh, Christ! I'm getting the jitters.
977
00:50:49,088 --> 00:50:50,965
Don't think
I can go through with this.
978
00:50:50,966 --> 00:50:52,512
Yeah, thought this might happen.
979
00:50:54,593 --> 00:50:57,303
- Is that Ray's coke?
<i>- </i> It's just one, he'll never notice.
980
00:50:57,304 --> 00:51:00,223
Are you off your nut?!
We've got to give it all back!
981
00:51:00,224 --> 00:51:03,059
I've got to do a speech!
I can't do drugs!
982
00:51:03,060 --> 00:51:06,729
What shit are you talking, Graham?
This will give you a bit of confidence.
983
00:51:06,730 --> 00:51:08,607
- Really?
<i>- </i> Absolutely. Come on.
984
00:51:18,993 --> 00:51:20,493
Isn't that a bit much?
985
00:51:20,494 --> 00:51:22,963
You need to do a lot
otherwise it won't have an impact.
986
00:51:22,964 --> 00:51:24,628
Come on, before someone comes.
987
00:51:28,377 --> 00:51:31,671
- Good afternoon, Barbara.
<i>- </i> What in the hell is going on?
988
00:51:31,672 --> 00:51:34,841
<i>Uh, we just... We, um...</i>
989
00:51:34,842 --> 00:51:36,389
Is that cocaine?
990
00:51:38,220 --> 00:51:39,554
Yeah.
991
00:51:39,555 --> 00:51:43,480
Well, don't just stand there gawping.
Line ‘em up!
992
00:51:50,357 --> 00:51:54,193
You could desalinate your soil by
replacing wheat with mallee scrub
993
00:51:54,194 --> 00:51:57,864
and that'll earn you big CER bucks
into the UN trade subsidy.
994
00:51:57,865 --> 00:51:59,574
Excuse me.
995
00:51:59,575 --> 00:52:03,202
- David.
- Wow. That sounded impressive.
996
00:52:03,203 --> 00:52:05,747
Four years of political science
will do that to you.
997
00:52:05,748 --> 00:52:09,834
- I thought you did sociology.
<i>- </i> No, majored in Conflict Resolution.
998
00:52:09,835 --> 00:52:11,878
Very useful in my family.
999
00:52:11,879 --> 00:52:14,631
And your psychology degree
is going to come in handy.
1000
00:52:14,632 --> 00:52:16,841
<i>- </i> Physics.
- What?
1001
00:52:16,842 --> 00:52:20,847
- I did physics.
<i>- </i> Oh. Of course you did.
1002
00:52:23,807 --> 00:52:26,434
Oh, I knew he wasn't going
to let go easily
1003
00:52:26,435 --> 00:52:29,228
but this one really takes the biscuit.
1004
00:52:29,229 --> 00:52:32,106
Gotta say, didn't have you pegged
as a party girl, Barbara.
1005
00:52:32,107 --> 00:52:34,025
Oh, last couple on the dance floor
1006
00:52:34,026 --> 00:52:36,402
until Jim became
this right-wing maniac.
1007
00:52:36,403 --> 00:52:38,446
Now look at him - retiring!
1008
00:52:38,447 --> 00:52:41,032
Giving up his seat for his daughter.
1009
00:52:41,033 --> 00:52:43,201
Try forcing it down her throat
1010
00:52:43,202 --> 00:52:45,703
You can mess with me -
that's one thing...
1011
00:52:45,704 --> 00:52:47,246
but mess with my kids?
1012
00:52:47,247 --> 00:52:49,040
No way, Jose, that's it!
1013
00:52:49,041 --> 00:52:50,833
End of the road!
1014
00:52:50,834 --> 00:52:53,961
- Your turn, Graham.
<i>- </i> I'm alright, thanks.
1015
00:52:53,962 --> 00:52:56,214
Don't be such a wuss.
1016
00:52:56,215 --> 00:52:58,843
Meow! Meow!
Don't be such a pussy, come on.
1017
00:53:00,803 --> 00:53:03,304
- (Laughs) Pussy.
<i>- </i> (Barbara meows)
1018
00:53:03,305 --> 00:53:06,057
d Howzat? d
1019
00:53:06,058 --> 00:53:07,767
Eddie's going cold.
1020
00:53:07,768 --> 00:53:10,728
Christ! Now what do we do?
Barbara's gone AWOL.
1021
00:53:10,729 --> 00:53:14,404
Right! Now I'm really
going to enjoy myself.
1022
00:53:21,990 --> 00:53:23,492
(Laughs)
1023
00:53:24,785 --> 00:53:28,037
It'd be quite bad, wouldn't it,
to try and shag David's mother-in-law?
1024
00:53:28,038 --> 00:53:31,207
Of course it bloody would.
Shit, that coke‘s strong!
1025
00:53:31,208 --> 00:53:33,209
- Completely fucked.
- I know.
1026
00:53:33,210 --> 00:53:36,629
- I'm really wired.
- You told me to have loads.
1027
00:53:36,630 --> 00:53:39,850
I think I may have been a bit gung-ho.
1028
00:53:45,013 --> 00:53:49,439
So, Eddie,
has your third wife left you yet?
1029
00:53:51,228 --> 00:53:53,813
Ladies and gentlemen,
would you please take your seats?
1030
00:53:53,814 --> 00:53:55,606
GRAHAM: I can't feel my face.
1031
00:53:55,607 --> 00:53:59,485
..best man's toast to be delivered
by... Graham.
1032
00:53:59,486 --> 00:54:01,487
<i>(Clapping)
- What?</i>
1033
00:54:01,488 --> 00:54:03,490
Fuck! I'm not ready, Tom.
1034
00:54:07,661 --> 00:54:10,246
Have you got the speech?
1035
00:54:10,247 --> 00:54:11,749
Thanks.
1036
00:54:22,885 --> 00:54:24,683
<i>(Silence)</i>
1037
00:54:29,099 --> 00:54:31,267
Tits?
1038
00:54:31,268 --> 00:54:32,861
Tits.
1039
00:54:34,480 --> 00:54:35,897
Tits...
1040
00:54:35,898 --> 00:54:38,024
'Tis a wonderful occasion.
1041
00:54:38,025 --> 00:54:43,404
Uh, I must admit I was a bit worried
about coming to Australia at first.
1042
00:54:43,405 --> 00:54:46,454
It being the country we sent
all our criminals to and everything.
1043
00:54:48,076 --> 00:54:52,497
But Australia is no longer
just a penal colony
1044
00:54:52,498 --> 00:54:54,916
for England's rapists and murderers.
1045
00:54:54,917 --> 00:54:58,419
No, it's now a country in its own right.
1046
00:54:58,420 --> 00:55:02,673
Or at least it was since you lot
stole all the land off the Aborigines.
1047
00:55:02,674 --> 00:55:04,472
<i>(Silence)</i>
1048
00:55:09,097 --> 00:55:12,850
Uh, I think I can speak
on behalf of all of us
1049
00:55:12,851 --> 00:55:18,397
when I say that I'm very pleased to hear
that David's now married
1050
00:55:18,398 --> 00:55:22,448
especially since at first
we all thought he was a homosexual.
1051
00:55:23,904 --> 00:55:25,404
Homosexual.
1052
00:55:25,405 --> 00:55:27,782
(Barbara chuckles)
1053
00:55:27,783 --> 00:55:31,285
But hopefully, Mia, you haven't
just married one of those gays
1054
00:55:31,286 --> 00:55:32,787
that's in denial for years
1055
00:55:32,788 --> 00:55:35,832
and then you come home and
find him in bed shagging another man.
1056
00:55:35,833 --> 00:55:41,087
Uh, but don't worry, Mia,
there are signs to look out for,
1057
00:55:41,088 --> 00:55:44,173
like anal sex.
1058
00:55:44,174 --> 00:55:46,592
<i>(Silence, stunned gasps)</i>
1059
00:55:46,593 --> 00:55:49,011
Apparently,
if he's excessively into anal sex,
1060
00:55:49,012 --> 00:55:53,233
then that's a sign,
so look out for that one.
1061
00:55:57,062 --> 00:56:00,857
Um, I mean, it's fair enough
if it's just occasional, you know
1062
00:56:00,858 --> 00:56:02,576
I mean, I'm sure that you've tried it.
1063
00:56:02,577 --> 00:56:06,445
Most couples try it, don't they,
at some point?
1064
00:56:06,446 --> 00:56:10,449
Uh, just... If you haven't tried it
and you are gonna try it this evening,
1065
00:56:10,450 --> 00:56:13,160
then just go easy on each other,
don't whack it up dry,
1066
00:56:13,161 --> 00:56:15,371
use some butter from the table
or something...
1067
00:56:15,372 --> 00:56:17,290
Thank you, Graham.
1068
00:56:17,291 --> 00:56:21,335
Ladies and gentlemen,
the bride and groom.
1069
00:56:21,336 --> 00:56:23,004
<i>(Polite clapping)</i>
1070
00:56:23,005 --> 00:56:24,598
JIM: Maestro!
1071
00:56:26,425 --> 00:56:29,343
<i>- </i> Well, that was... That was...
- Awful?
1072
00:56:29,344 --> 00:56:33,264
Atrocious? Humiliating?
What the hell was he thinking?
1073
00:56:33,265 --> 00:56:35,313
I don't know, David, he's your friend.
1074
00:56:36,810 --> 00:56:39,478
David, are you a homosexual?
(Static)
1075
00:56:39,479 --> 00:56:41,230
No, of course not.
1076
00:56:41,231 --> 00:56:43,029
Because if you're doing this for a visa,
1077
00:56:43,030 --> 00:56:45,318
the Minister for Immigration
is sitting there!
1078
00:56:45,319 --> 00:56:47,778
I'm not gay, it was a joke.
1079
00:56:47,779 --> 00:56:50,072
We'd better start laughing, then,
hadn't we, eh?
1080
00:56:50,073 --> 00:56:52,116
(Jim laughs forcefully)
1081
00:56:52,117 --> 00:56:53,868
(David laughs nervously)
1082
00:56:53,869 --> 00:56:56,495
Fantastic! What I really loved
is you gave everyone here
1083
00:56:56,496 --> 00:56:58,497
an image of David doing Mia
up the arse.
1084
00:56:58,498 --> 00:57:00,666
You gave me the wrong piece of paper,
you moron.
1085
00:57:00,667 --> 00:57:02,340
I was left with your picture of tits.
1086
00:57:02,341 --> 00:57:04,714
- Shit, mate, is that what happened?
- Yes.
1087
00:57:06,798 --> 00:57:09,091
David, I'm so sorry.
1088
00:57:09,092 --> 00:57:11,844
I had the whole speech worked out
but when I got the paper out,
1089
00:57:11,845 --> 00:57:14,847
it was just this picture of tits
and it just totally threw me.
1090
00:57:14,848 --> 00:57:16,849
You need to apologise to Jim.
1091
00:57:16,850 --> 00:57:19,644
- Do I have to?
- Yes!
1092
00:57:19,645 --> 00:57:21,739
I think he's about to go
into cardiac arrest.
1093
00:57:25,233 --> 00:57:27,777
(Car engine growls)
1094
00:57:27,778 --> 00:57:29,826
KAL: I haven't been to a wedding
in years.
1095
00:57:31,198 --> 00:57:34,033
Fucking little dead shit.
1096
00:57:34,034 --> 00:57:36,077
I thought we had a connection.
1097
00:57:36,078 --> 00:57:39,622
I even told him about my panic attacks.
1098
00:57:39,623 --> 00:57:43,167
- I'm gonna barge in there...
<i>- </i> You can't barge in dressed like that.
1099
00:57:43,168 --> 00:57:45,836
Oh, I can barge wherever I fucking like.
1100
00:57:45,837 --> 00:57:48,839
You want to go in there
and mess this guy up?
1101
00:57:48,840 --> 00:57:50,841
You want everyone to recognise you?
1102
00:57:50,842 --> 00:57:55,018
You got to blend in, dress nice.
It's a wedding.
1103
00:58:04,773 --> 00:58:08,234
Barbara, could I have a word?
1104
00:58:08,235 --> 00:58:11,455
Too many words, Jim,
not enough champagne.
1105
00:58:13,198 --> 00:58:15,241
- (Jim chuckles nervously)
- Come on!
1106
00:58:15,242 --> 00:58:17,836
Weddings. Women.
1107
00:58:19,037 --> 00:58:21,831
- Crazy.
- Yes.
1108
00:58:21,832 --> 00:58:25,835
Still, my girl's working the room
like a pro.
1109
00:58:25,836 --> 00:58:28,504
EDDIE: You honestly think she's ready?
1110
00:58:28,505 --> 00:58:32,633
There comes a moment in time
when the universe cries out...
1111
00:58:32,634 --> 00:58:36,846
Jim, I just want to apologise
for before.
1112
00:58:36,847 --> 00:58:39,432
You see, what I thought
was actually my speech
1113
00:58:39,433 --> 00:58:42,268
actually turned out to be
this drawing of...
1114
00:58:42,269 --> 00:58:44,812
Well, you can see what it is.
1115
00:58:44,813 --> 00:58:46,605
It's tits.
1116
00:58:46,606 --> 00:58:49,108
Anyway, I'm really sorry.
1117
00:58:49,109 --> 00:58:52,028
Sorry? Hah! Come on!
1118
00:58:52,029 --> 00:58:54,780
You'll have your own chat show
with a performance like that.
1119
00:58:54,781 --> 00:58:56,240
You were a riot!
1120
00:58:56,241 --> 00:59:00,462
It was really, really, really funny.
1121
00:59:02,247 --> 00:59:04,466
You pull your head in, kid.
1122
00:59:10,797 --> 00:59:13,841
- Jim.
<i>- </i> This is going pear-shaped.
1123
00:59:13,842 --> 00:59:16,052
Gotta do something fast
to turn this around.
1124
00:59:16,053 --> 00:59:18,846
- Bump Ramsy ahead of schedule.
- Yes.
1125
00:59:18,847 --> 00:59:21,974
Give me something strong, please.
Have you got a Molotov cocktail?
1126
00:59:21,975 --> 00:59:25,644
Oh, no, a dirty martini, please
Yeah, times two.
1127
00:59:25,645 --> 00:59:27,146
Thanks.
1128
00:59:27,147 --> 00:59:31,025
That's got to go down as the worst toast
in the history of bad toasts.
1129
00:59:31,026 --> 00:59:33,819
I don't know,
I thought it was pretty funny.
1130
00:59:33,820 --> 00:59:37,239
Really? What,
even the bit about anal sex?
1131
00:59:37,240 --> 00:59:39,825
Are you kidding?
That was, like, the best bit.
1132
00:59:39,826 --> 00:59:41,869
<i>- </i> It's all anyone can talk about.
- Yeah?
1133
00:59:41,870 --> 00:59:43,412
Yeah.
1134
00:59:43,413 --> 00:59:46,540
Yeah, well, I didn't wanna do
something boring, you know?
1135
00:59:46,541 --> 00:59:48,543
d Sugar, Sugar
1136
00:59:51,213 --> 00:59:53,422
Spruce him up, boys.
Full bells and whistles.
1137
00:59:53,423 --> 00:59:55,642
We've got a Senate seat to save...
1138
00:59:57,594 --> 01:00:01,430
- To lesbians.
- Amen to that, sister.
1139
01:00:01,431 --> 01:00:03,104
Yeah. (Laughs)
1140
01:00:06,812 --> 01:00:11,816
Hmm, there's something very sexy
about a man in uniform.
1141
01:00:11,817 --> 01:00:14,610
Even sexier out of it. (Laughs)
1142
01:00:14,611 --> 01:00:17,822
- What the hell are you doing?
- Dancing at my daughter's wedding
1143
01:00:17,823 --> 01:00:20,616
- You? (Laughs)
- Jim, could I have a word?
1144
01:00:20,617 --> 01:00:24,036
<i>- </i> It's important.
- Oh, I bet it is.
1145
01:00:24,037 --> 01:00:25,835
- What is it?
<i>- </i> It's Ramsy.
1146
01:00:25,836 --> 01:00:28,666
He's gone. I just went to check his pen
and he's not there.
1147
01:00:28,667 --> 01:00:31,043
(Grumbles)
1148
01:00:31,044 --> 01:00:33,843
- Dad, what's wrong?
<i>- </i> Ramsy is missing.
1149
01:00:38,593 --> 01:00:40,889
- I'll be back in a minute, yeah?
- You can't go now.
1150
01:00:40,890 --> 01:00:42,685
They're about to call the bridal waltz.
1151
01:00:42,686 --> 01:00:45,182
I'll be one minute, I promise.
1152
01:00:45,183 --> 01:00:48,060
- However, I'm telling you...
- Where's Ramsy?
1153
01:00:48,061 --> 01:00:50,604
- What?
- The sheep.
1154
01:00:50,605 --> 01:00:52,648
- You didn't take it back, did you?
- Shit.
1155
01:00:52,649 --> 01:00:54,692
Are you stupid in the mind?
1156
01:00:54,693 --> 01:00:57,403
We need to get him back right now.
Excuse us.
1157
01:00:57,404 --> 01:00:59,031
Oi... Uh, I just...
1158
01:01:06,788 --> 01:01:08,836
I told you you'd need a suit!
1159
01:01:13,420 --> 01:01:14,879
Get fucked.
1160
01:01:14,880 --> 01:01:15,972
Boys.
1161
01:01:18,425 --> 01:01:20,467
(Squeals and laughs)
1162
01:01:20,468 --> 01:01:23,846
- Hi!
<i>- </i> Oh, Mum, you're drunk?
1163
01:01:23,847 --> 01:01:27,647
Not at all, darling.
I just had a shitload of coke.
1164
01:01:34,774 --> 01:01:36,776
TOM: I left him in here, I swear.
1165
01:01:38,695 --> 01:01:40,446
Luke? Luke!
1166
01:01:40,447 --> 01:01:43,657
- Have you seen Ramsy?
- Who's Ramsy?
1167
01:01:43,658 --> 01:01:47,161
- The sheep. The sheep I left in here.
<i>- </i> I don't know any sheep.
1168
01:01:47,162 --> 01:01:50,206
I've gotta go and do the bridal waltz.
I'll be back in five minutes.
1169
01:01:50,207 --> 01:01:51,709
You'd better have found him.
1170
01:01:54,419 --> 01:01:56,921
Sorry. I need your help, Leo.
1171
01:01:56,922 --> 01:02:01,842
- Somebody's stolen my sheep.
- Who? The caterers?
1172
01:02:01,843 --> 01:02:03,686
I'm serious, Commissioner.
1173
01:02:05,680 --> 01:02:07,473
Alright, Jim.
1174
01:02:07,474 --> 01:02:11,560
d Slow-motion weekdays stare me down
1175
01:02:11,561 --> 01:02:15,481
d Her lipstick reflex got me wound... d
1176
01:02:15,482 --> 01:02:19,235
- What does it look like?
- It's covered in wool and it bleats.
1177
01:02:19,236 --> 01:02:21,113
What do you think it looks like, Luke?
1178
01:02:21,114 --> 01:02:22,739
Aah!
1179
01:02:28,203 --> 01:02:29,828
- Oh, my God.
- What?
1180
01:02:29,829 --> 01:02:31,672
- Most of the drugs are missing.
- Huh?
1181
01:02:31,673 --> 01:02:34,875
Ramsy‘s eaten them all.
Ramsy, you idiot!
1182
01:02:34,876 --> 01:02:38,337
Ray's gonna hurt us really bad.
What are we gonna do?
1183
01:02:38,338 --> 01:02:40,839
<i>- </i> Laxatives.
- What?
1184
01:02:40,840 --> 01:02:44,635
Give it a load of laxatives,
maybe it'll shit it out.
1185
01:02:44,636 --> 01:02:46,053
Yes.
1186
01:02:46,054 --> 01:02:47,554
GRAHAM: Yes.
1187
01:02:47,555 --> 01:02:49,265
Yes.
1188
01:02:49,266 --> 01:02:51,064
Yes, thank you.
1189
01:02:54,980 --> 01:02:57,731
And now, ladies and gentlemen
a father's dream come true...
1190
01:02:57,732 --> 01:03:01,236
his daughter dancing the bridal waltz.
1191
01:03:02,988 --> 01:03:04,446
<i>(clapping)</i>
1192
01:03:04,447 --> 01:03:08,827
a, la, la, la, la, la, la
1193
01:03:09,995 --> 01:03:13,956
a, la, la, la, la, la, la
1194
01:03:13,957 --> 01:03:16,417
You alright? You're dripping with sweat.
1195
01:03:16,418 --> 01:03:19,628
- No, yeah, I'm fine. You?
- Oh, great.
1196
01:03:19,629 --> 01:03:21,922
Apart from the fact I lost my husband,
1197
01:03:21,923 --> 01:03:24,091
Dad's lost Ramsy
and Mum's lost the plot.
1198
01:03:24,092 --> 01:03:26,260
- Did your friends give her coke?
- What?!
1199
01:03:26,261 --> 01:03:28,679
Of course not.
Who would they get coke from?
1200
01:03:28,680 --> 01:03:31,432
Come on, come on.
1201
01:03:31,433 --> 01:03:33,392
Come on, eat it!
1202
01:03:33,393 --> 01:03:35,060
Oh! For God's sake!
1203
01:03:35,061 --> 01:03:38,605
He'll eat a load of drug-filled condoms
but he won't eat 50 laxatives!
1204
01:03:38,606 --> 01:03:42,234
- Oh, my God! We are dead.
- Shut up, Graham!
1205
01:03:42,235 --> 01:03:43,657
<i>(Far?)
- Hang on.</i>
1206
01:03:43,658 --> 01:03:45,530
I think he's done something.
1207
01:03:46,573 --> 01:03:48,615
- (Tom gasps)
- Yes!
1208
01:03:48,616 --> 01:03:51,620
<i>- </i> We've got one.
- Yes!
1209
01:03:54,789 --> 01:03:56,832
Have you seen Jim's sheep?
1210
01:03:56,833 --> 01:04:00,169
(Man laughs)
1211
01:04:00,170 --> 01:04:02,004
Come on! It's no good.
1212
01:04:02,005 --> 01:04:04,048
He's not shitting them out quick enough.
1213
01:04:04,049 --> 01:04:06,302
- You know what I'm thinking, Graham?
- No, what?
1214
01:04:06,303 --> 01:04:09,428
I'm thinking you're gonna have
to stick your hand up his arse.
1215
01:04:09,429 --> 01:04:10,554
Sorry?
1216
01:04:10,555 --> 01:04:13,766
I said, I'm thinking you're gonna have
to stick your hand up his arse.
1217
01:04:13,767 --> 01:04:16,643
Yes, I heard what you said.
I just can't believe you said it.
1218
01:04:16,644 --> 01:04:18,521
Well, there's no other option, is there?
1219
01:04:18,522 --> 01:04:20,564
How else are we gonna get
the drugs back?
1220
01:04:20,565 --> 01:04:22,816
OK, let's just be absolutely clear
on something
1221
01:04:22,817 --> 01:04:24,401
so there's no misunderstanding.
1222
01:04:24,402 --> 01:04:26,820
I'm not sticking my hand
up anything's arse!
1223
01:04:26,821 --> 01:04:28,155
(Bleats)
1224
01:04:28,156 --> 01:04:31,575
And that's fine, Graham, but you're
the one who's gonna have to tell Ray
1225
01:04:31,576 --> 01:04:34,203
that we were gonna give him
his drugs back but not any more
1226
01:04:34,204 --> 01:04:36,002
because they've been eaten by a sheep!
1227
01:04:37,749 --> 01:04:39,124
Shit!
1228
01:04:39,125 --> 01:04:40,125
Whoo!
1229
01:04:40,126 --> 01:04:42,544
Oh, God, look at her.
She's off her tits.
1230
01:04:42,545 --> 01:04:45,297
(Laughs hysterically)
1231
01:04:45,298 --> 01:04:47,466
I really need to go to the toilet.
1232
01:04:47,467 --> 01:04:49,510
- Are you doing coke, David?
- No!
1233
01:04:49,511 --> 01:04:51,809
I'll be back in two minutes.
1234
01:05:01,981 --> 01:05:03,399
Ugh!
1235
01:05:03,400 --> 01:05:06,026
Come on, Graham, don't pussy about.
Get stuck in.
1236
01:05:06,027 --> 01:05:08,278
It's no good, Tom,
I can't get good purchase.
1237
01:05:08,279 --> 01:05:10,656
Oh, hang on.
1238
01:05:10,657 --> 01:05:12,455
- I think I've found something.
- Yeah?
1239
01:05:12,456 --> 01:05:14,034
<i>(Silence)</i>
1240
01:05:14,035 --> 01:05:16,453
What the fuck is going on?!
1241
01:05:16,454 --> 01:05:18,252
It's not what it looks like.
1242
01:05:21,584 --> 01:05:26,130
- You've got five seconds, Graham.
- What, me? Uh, well...
1243
01:05:26,131 --> 01:05:28,132
Now, don't panic, David.
1244
01:05:28,133 --> 01:05:29,633
It's too late, I'm afraid, Tom!
1245
01:05:29,634 --> 01:05:32,428
I'm already
in major nuclear fucking panic mode!
1246
01:05:32,429 --> 01:05:35,264
- What's that?
<i>- </i> That's nothing to worry about.
1247
01:05:35,265 --> 01:05:37,766
That's just some condoms
with some cocaine in it.
1248
01:05:37,767 --> 01:05:39,435
A condom with cocaine in it?
1249
01:05:39,436 --> 01:05:41,653
Graham stole it from the guy
who sold us the weed.
1250
01:05:41,654 --> 01:05:43,398
I didn't steal it, I took it by mistake.
1251
01:05:43,399 --> 01:05:45,899
Oh, my God. Oh, my God,
this can't be happening.
1252
01:05:45,900 --> 01:05:48,026
This is my wedding day.
1253
01:05:48,027 --> 01:05:50,448
It's supposed to be
the most memorable day of my life!
1254
01:05:50,449 --> 01:05:52,290
- Probably is in a way.
(Both chuckle)
1255
01:05:52,291 --> 01:05:54,616
Just calm down, OK?
1256
01:05:54,617 --> 01:05:57,161
I know this looks bad but it's fixable.
1257
01:05:57,162 --> 01:05:59,371
- How?
<i>- </i> Well, first things first.
1258
01:05:59,372 --> 01:06:01,841
We've got to get those drugs
out of that sheep's arse.
1259
01:06:09,424 --> 01:06:11,842
You're Barry Gribble's son, right?
1260
01:06:11,843 --> 01:06:13,720
Yeah, how's your dad?
1261
01:06:15,805 --> 01:06:18,228
Haven't seen my dad
since Kentucky Fried Chicken.
1262
01:06:21,227 --> 01:06:25,230
Now you're doing it.
Squeeze, squeeze it like a sturgeon.
1263
01:06:25,231 --> 01:06:27,941
- What the fuck are you talking about?
<i>- </i> It's a fishing term.
1264
01:06:27,942 --> 01:06:29,485
Here comes another one.
1265
01:06:29,486 --> 01:06:31,236
Oh!
1266
01:06:31,237 --> 01:06:34,239
Sorry, busy in here.
Shouldn't have had the curry prawns.
1267
01:06:34,240 --> 01:06:36,288
MAN: My tie, it's stuck.
1268
01:06:37,785 --> 01:06:40,163
Excuse me, I said my tie is...
1269
01:06:44,792 --> 01:06:47,503
TOM: OK, now, tickle, tickle,
tickle, tickle the gonads
1270
01:06:47,504 --> 01:06:49,632
so we get some bonus secretions.
1271
01:06:53,593 --> 01:06:55,636
(Laughs) Having a good time, girls?
1272
01:06:55,637 --> 01:06:58,055
Great! Except my husband
keeps going missing.
1273
01:06:58,056 --> 01:07:00,641
Oh, married life -
get used to it, darling.
1274
01:07:00,642 --> 01:07:04,144
Uh, Mum, I think it's time for
one of your special night-night pills.
1275
01:07:04,145 --> 01:07:07,814
Push! Push! You can do it, Ramsy!
Push!
1276
01:07:07,815 --> 01:07:09,691
Oh! Oh!
1277
01:07:09,692 --> 01:07:11,740
- I think that's the last one.
<i>- </i> Are you sure?
1278
01:07:11,741 --> 01:07:14,404
- Yeah, I think so.
<i>- </i> Alright, good.
1279
01:07:14,405 --> 01:07:16,532
Now get him back down
to the Old House.
1280
01:07:16,533 --> 01:07:20,254
D'you mind if I wash my hands first?
They're covered in sheep shit.
1281
01:07:28,419 --> 01:07:33,048
Uh, Luke, what's that you're holding?
1282
01:07:33,049 --> 01:07:35,425
I don't think I can go on, David.
1283
01:07:35,426 --> 01:07:38,262
Are you fucking kidding?
Are you fucking kidding me?!
1284
01:07:38,263 --> 01:07:39,805
Sorry.
1285
01:07:39,806 --> 01:07:41,848
I don't have a choice.
1286
01:07:41,849 --> 01:07:44,434
Just... Hold on a second, Luke.
1287
01:07:44,435 --> 01:07:46,938
And think about what you're doing.
1288
01:07:48,565 --> 01:07:51,569
All I can think about is her
all the time.
1289
01:07:52,610 --> 01:07:54,829
Her and that dick-less wonder.
1290
01:07:58,783 --> 01:08:00,535
Do you guys have any idea what it's like
1291
01:08:00,536 --> 01:08:03,880
to think about your ex-girlfriend
having sex with a man without a penis?
1292
01:08:05,999 --> 01:08:09,048
Well, you don't know for sure
that he doesn't have one.
1293
01:08:10,420 --> 01:08:12,343
You said so yourself.
It's just a rumour.
1294
01:08:12,344 --> 01:08:14,923
To be fair, I did hear it
from a pretty reliable source.
1295
01:08:14,924 --> 01:08:16,675
BOTH: Shut up, Tom.
(Sobs)
1296
01:08:16,676 --> 01:08:21,638
Listen... Luke, d'you honestly think
that Sarah's gonna take you back
1297
01:08:21,639 --> 01:08:23,562
if you've shot yourself in the head?
1298
01:08:23,563 --> 01:08:25,856
- He's got a point, Luke.
DAVID: Come on, mate.
1299
01:08:27,604 --> 01:08:29,197
Give me the gun.
1300
01:08:31,190 --> 01:08:32,692
No.
1301
01:08:33,943 --> 01:08:35,536
Ah! Ah!
1302
01:08:36,654 --> 01:08:39,239
Stop! Stop! Aah!
1303
01:08:39,240 --> 01:08:40,782
(Gunshot)
1304
01:08:40,783 --> 01:08:41,950
Aah!
1305
01:08:41,951 --> 01:08:44,453
Your father just got the catering bill.
1306
01:08:44,454 --> 01:08:46,297
Back in a minute. Watch her.
1307
01:08:48,791 --> 01:08:52,419
Jesus, Luke! You could have killed
one of us, you bloody maniac!
1308
01:08:52,420 --> 01:08:55,297
Alright, calm down.
Everybody, just take a deep breath.
1309
01:08:55,298 --> 01:08:57,841
Oh, my God! I've been shot!
1310
01:08:57,842 --> 01:09:00,010
- What?
<i>- </i> Look at my arm!
1311
01:09:00,011 --> 01:09:03,764
- You shot me, Luke! You idiot!
<i>- </i> Sorry.
1312
01:09:03,765 --> 01:09:06,058
- Sorry?!
<i>- </i> Alright, Jesus, Graham.
1313
01:09:06,059 --> 01:09:08,226
It's only a flesh wound,
can we stop moaning?
1314
01:09:08,227 --> 01:09:09,728
I'm not moaning!
1315
01:09:09,729 --> 01:09:11,813
It's always something with you,
isn't it?
1316
01:09:11,814 --> 01:09:14,024
If it's not the malaise,
it's the air sickness.
1317
01:09:14,025 --> 01:09:16,777
If not the air sickness,
it's something else! I'm sick of it!
1318
01:09:16,778 --> 01:09:18,200
<i>- </i> I've been shot, Tom!
- Fine.
1319
01:09:18,201 --> 01:09:21,573
OK, let's all acknowledge the fact
that Graham's been shot, OK?
1320
01:09:21,574 --> 01:09:24,409
- There! You happy now?
- Not really.
1321
01:09:24,410 --> 01:09:25,957
(Bleats)
1322
01:09:28,414 --> 01:09:30,041
- Shit.
<i>- </i> Oh, my God.
1323
01:09:35,004 --> 01:09:38,256
d Come on, baby
1324
01:09:38,257 --> 01:09:40,385
d Let's do the twist... d
1325
01:09:41,427 --> 01:09:44,513
There's no wound. It must have gone
into shock. What do we do?
1326
01:09:44,514 --> 01:09:46,437
Maybe we should give it
mouth-to-mouth.
1327
01:09:46,438 --> 01:09:47,974
- Good idea.
BOTH: Graham.
1328
01:09:47,975 --> 01:09:49,773
- Yes?
<i>- </i> You know CPR, don't you?
1329
01:09:49,774 --> 01:09:51,520
Not on barnyard animals.
1330
01:09:51,521 --> 01:09:54,272
Oh, come on, it's the same shit.
Just breathe into his mouth.
1331
01:09:54,273 --> 01:09:56,367
<i>- You do it!
- You've had your hand up his arse.</i>
1332
01:09:56,368 --> 01:09:58,402
What difference if you breathe
in his mouth?
1333
01:09:58,403 --> 01:10:00,622
How do I even do it?
His mouth is the wrong shape!
1334
01:10:00,623 --> 01:10:02,364
I can't even get any suction!
1335
01:10:02,365 --> 01:10:06,368
Right! Out of the way.
1336
01:10:06,369 --> 01:10:08,463
d Come on, little miss
1337
01:10:09,580 --> 01:10:11,623
<i>d And do the twist... d</i>
1338
01:10:11,624 --> 01:10:13,041
(Sobs)
1339
01:10:13,042 --> 01:10:15,795
One, two, three.
1340
01:10:17,213 --> 01:10:19,548
Come on. Come on!
1341
01:10:19,549 --> 01:10:22,098
- Come on, Ramsy.
- Breathe.
1342
01:10:23,803 --> 01:10:25,555
<i>Come on, come on!</i>
1343
01:10:27,432 --> 01:10:29,275
<i>(Music stops abruptly)</i>
1344
01:10:30,810 --> 01:10:32,653
- It's not what it looks like.
<i>- </i> Really?
1345
01:10:37,400 --> 01:10:39,234
(Luke sobs)
1346
01:10:39,235 --> 01:10:40,986
(Ramsy grunts)
1347
01:10:40,987 --> 01:10:42,864
TOM: He's alive! He's alive!
1348
01:10:45,992 --> 01:10:48,410
- Mia, stop!
- What the hell was that, David?
1349
01:10:48,411 --> 01:10:53,248
I mean, yeah, I've got a sense of humour
but who are you people?
1350
01:10:53,249 --> 01:10:55,292
OK, OK, take a deep breath.
1351
01:10:55,293 --> 01:10:57,836
Remember the beach, you and me,
Tuvalu.
1352
01:10:57,837 --> 01:11:00,338
Tuvalu suddenly seems like
a very long way away!
1353
01:11:00,339 --> 01:11:01,841
Mia, stop!
1354
01:11:04,010 --> 01:11:06,052
Have I just made a terrible mistake?
1355
01:11:06,053 --> 01:11:08,096
Have we just made
a terrible mistake here?
1356
01:11:08,097 --> 01:11:10,140
Do we really know each other?
1357
01:11:10,141 --> 01:11:14,436
I mean, maybe what we have
is just a holiday romance.
1358
01:11:14,437 --> 01:11:17,397
Don't say that. This is just
a really unfortunate situation.
1359
01:11:17,398 --> 01:11:19,024
I'll sort it out, I promise!
1360
01:11:19,025 --> 01:11:22,652
You keep saying that but it just seems
to get worse and worse and worse.
1361
01:11:22,653 --> 01:11:24,821
It hasn't been that easy for me,
you know.
1362
01:11:24,822 --> 01:11:27,240
I'm doing my best.
1363
01:11:27,241 --> 01:11:29,409
And now I find out
you're gonna be a senator.
1364
01:11:29,410 --> 01:11:33,256
I'm not going to be a senator.
I don't want to be a senator.
1365
01:11:34,415 --> 01:11:37,250
Wha... Uh...
1366
01:11:37,251 --> 01:11:41,421
David, look,
all I want is to be with you.
1367
01:11:41,422 --> 01:11:45,842
So I'm begging you,
whatever weird shit is going on here,
1368
01:11:45,843 --> 01:11:48,929
just sort it out.
1369
01:11:48,930 --> 01:11:50,182
Please.
1370
01:12:00,191 --> 01:12:02,234
You alright, bro?
1371
01:12:02,235 --> 01:12:04,402
God, that was all a bit awkward,
wasn't it?
1372
01:12:04,403 --> 01:12:06,451
I thought you were supposed to be
my friend.
1373
01:12:08,783 --> 01:12:10,826
Wait, of course I'm your friend.
1374
01:12:10,827 --> 01:12:15,372
- What are you talking about?
<i>- </i> The drugs. The sheep. The speech.
1375
01:12:15,373 --> 01:12:17,467
Are you purposely trying
to screw up my life?
1376
01:12:19,418 --> 01:12:21,887
- Why would I wanna do that, David?
- I don't know, Tom!
1377
01:12:21,888 --> 01:12:25,590
Maybe because you're jealous?
Selfish? Immature?
1378
01:12:25,591 --> 01:12:28,260
Hang on a minute! Yeah, I'm immature!
1379
01:12:28,261 --> 01:12:30,345
Who's the one marrying a girl
he barely knows
1380
01:12:30,346 --> 01:12:33,223
and leaving his friends behind
like they don't count for shit?
1381
01:12:33,224 --> 01:12:34,851
How bloody immature is that, David?
1382
01:12:36,602 --> 01:12:39,396
OK, so I didn't entirely know
I felt like that until just now.
1383
01:12:39,397 --> 01:12:41,398
But it's true, innit?
1384
01:12:41,399 --> 01:12:44,234
You're dumping us.
1385
01:12:44,235 --> 01:12:48,029
You're moving on and you're destroying
my youth in the process.
1386
01:12:48,030 --> 01:12:52,409
Right, so what you're saying is that
you don't support me getting married.
1387
01:12:52,410 --> 01:12:54,411
That's right, I don't.
1388
01:12:54,412 --> 01:12:57,414
I think you met a girl on a beach
holiday, I think you don't know her
1389
01:12:57,415 --> 01:12:59,583
and I think you didn't even consult me,
David!
1390
01:12:59,584 --> 01:13:01,211
- Consult you?!
- Yes, consult me!
1391
01:13:01,212 --> 01:13:04,588
I'm sorry if my getting married
makes you feel old but I love this girl!
1392
01:13:04,589 --> 01:13:08,091
- This is my chance to have a family.
- Thought we were your family.
1393
01:13:08,092 --> 01:13:11,845
Yeah, but you're not my family, Tom.
You're my mates.
1394
01:13:11,846 --> 01:13:15,851
And however much you call me
brother‘ or 'bro' won't change that
1395
01:13:29,989 --> 01:13:31,741
Hello, Graham.
1396
01:13:33,200 --> 01:13:34,827
(Whimpers)
1397
01:13:36,412 --> 01:13:39,831
There you are, David!
The dance floor is hotting up!
1398
01:13:39,832 --> 01:13:42,042
- Hi, Barbara.
<i>- </i> It's going off!
1399
01:13:42,043 --> 01:13:44,135
- I've just got to...
<i>- </i> No, not got to nothing.
1400
01:13:44,136 --> 01:13:45,880
You're not a real member of this family
1401
01:13:45,881 --> 01:13:49,132
until you have macarenaed
with your mother-in-law.
1402
01:13:49,133 --> 01:13:52,603
- Where are my drugs?
<i>- </i> There. They're all there.
1403
01:13:56,432 --> 01:13:59,059
Why do my drugs smell like shit?
1404
01:13:59,060 --> 01:14:01,233
Uh, we... We, um...
1405
01:14:02,188 --> 01:14:04,397
Had to, oh...
1406
01:14:04,398 --> 01:14:06,275
You let me down, Graham.
1407
01:14:08,778 --> 01:14:11,237
- I thought we were friends.
- We are friends.
1408
01:14:11,238 --> 01:14:13,616
- I thought you liked me.
<i>- </i> I do like you.
1409
01:14:13,617 --> 01:14:15,459
Is that... Is that my suit?
1410
01:14:17,536 --> 01:14:22,415
I shared with you and what do you do?
You spit it back in my face.
1411
01:14:22,416 --> 01:14:25,251
The whole thing was just
a big misunderstanding.
1412
01:14:25,252 --> 01:14:28,254
I never would have taken your bag
on purpose.
1413
01:14:28,255 --> 01:14:30,632
Look, we're mates, aren't we?
1414
01:14:30,633 --> 01:14:32,676
We're going out for dinner next week.
1415
01:14:32,677 --> 01:14:34,719
<i>Hmm?</i>
1416
01:14:34,720 --> 01:14:37,639
Maybe... Maybe a drink afterwards?
1417
01:14:37,640 --> 01:14:40,689
OK, sure. We'll have a good time.
1418
01:14:45,398 --> 01:14:47,617
- What happened to your arm?
<i>- </i> It's nothing.
1419
01:14:47,618 --> 01:14:50,652
I just got kind of shot,
it's just a flesh wound.
1420
01:14:50,653 --> 01:14:52,696
You're gonna need
to get that cleaned up.
1421
01:14:52,697 --> 01:14:57,033
- Well, I think... <i>- </i> No.
You need to get that cleaned up.
1422
01:14:57,034 --> 01:14:59,077
- OK.
- Good.
1423
01:14:59,078 --> 01:15:01,579
Take your pants off.
1424
01:15:01,580 --> 01:15:04,416
(Barbara laughs)
1425
01:15:04,417 --> 01:15:07,836
Ah! Hey! Yay!
1426
01:15:07,837 --> 01:15:11,256
- Thanks, that was great.
<i>- </i> Where do you think you're going?
1427
01:15:11,257 --> 01:15:14,175
They haven't played YMCA yet. Yoohoo!
1428
01:15:14,176 --> 01:15:17,020
- (Luke whimpers)
- (Ramsy bleats)
1429
01:15:19,015 --> 01:15:22,394
I was thinking I could maybe let you off
for taking the drugs.
1430
01:15:26,814 --> 01:15:30,614
- It was an accident, wasn't it?
<i>- </i> Absolutely, Ray.
1431
01:15:32,361 --> 01:15:34,029
Oh!
1432
01:15:34,030 --> 01:15:36,281
- No!
- Yes.
1433
01:15:36,282 --> 01:15:39,617
- What are you doing, you idiot?
<i>- </i> Saving your arse, that's what.
1434
01:15:39,618 --> 01:15:43,204
I completely talked him around!
He was gonna let us off the drugs!
1435
01:15:43,205 --> 01:15:46,249
How am I supposed to know that?
You're lying there bare-chested!
1436
01:15:46,250 --> 01:15:48,877
- I don't know what's going on!
<i>- </i> What are we gonna do, Tom?
1437
01:15:48,878 --> 01:15:50,920
He's gonna go ballistic!
1438
01:15:50,921 --> 01:15:53,595
Sauna - lock him in the sauna.
1439
01:15:56,010 --> 01:15:58,354
Little bit too much to drink.
1440
01:15:59,555 --> 01:16:03,224
d That's why we go to the YMCA
1441
01:16:03,225 --> 01:16:08,026
ALL: d That's why they go
to the YMCA... d
1442
01:16:10,983 --> 01:16:13,610
- Dave?
- Oh.
1443
01:16:13,611 --> 01:16:15,236
Hi.
1444
01:16:15,237 --> 01:16:19,199
- How's it going with finding Ramsy?
<i>- </i> Who told you Ramsy was missing?
1445
01:16:19,200 --> 01:16:22,911
Mia. Mia, she told me.
1446
01:16:22,912 --> 01:16:25,210
TOM: Blown it, we've blown it, Graham.
1447
01:16:26,791 --> 01:16:29,042
<i>This is insane, is he gonna be OK?</i>
1448
01:16:29,043 --> 01:16:31,086
We'll fix it, we'll fix everything.
1449
01:16:31,087 --> 01:16:33,838
Let's just save this fucking wedding.
1450
01:16:33,839 --> 01:16:36,092
DAVID: Alright, alright.
1451
01:16:37,384 --> 01:16:39,636
Alright, guys, so here's the plan.
1452
01:16:39,637 --> 01:16:41,679
First, get the sheep
back to the Old House.
1453
01:16:41,680 --> 01:16:43,978
Two, get rid of the drugs
and C <i>-</i> go back to the party
1454
01:16:43,979 --> 01:16:46,684
and behave like proper
adult human beings. Clear? Graham.
1455
01:16:46,685 --> 01:16:48,895
How are we gonna get him
back to the Old House
1456
01:16:48,896 --> 01:16:51,773
when there's, like,
a million people downstairs?
1457
01:16:51,774 --> 01:16:54,651
We make a harness out of bedsheets
and lower him out the window.
1458
01:16:54,652 --> 01:16:56,950
Graham, you come with me.
Tom, you lower him down.
1459
01:16:56,951 --> 01:16:59,665
By myself? Look at the size
of the fucker. What if I drop him?
1460
01:17:01,992 --> 01:17:03,827
Luke, we need your help.
1461
01:17:03,828 --> 01:17:07,423
I'm useless, David.
I'm just useless to everyone.
1462
01:17:09,375 --> 01:17:12,627
Ah! That really hurt.
1463
01:17:12,628 --> 01:17:15,296
Good. I'm sick to death
of you feeling sorry for yourself.
1464
01:17:15,297 --> 01:17:17,340
Sarah's gone
and she's never coming back.
1465
01:17:17,341 --> 01:17:18,883
(Sobs) No!
1466
01:17:18,884 --> 01:17:20,385
- Ah!
- It's over.
1467
01:17:20,386 --> 01:17:23,429
You got to pull yourself together.
Life's too short for this shit.
1468
01:17:23,430 --> 01:17:26,229
- (Sighs)
<i>- </i> Luke, I want my friend back.
1469
01:17:28,394 --> 01:17:29,686
OK.
1470
01:17:29,687 --> 01:17:32,188
d Yeah, I feel a little crazy
1471
01:17:32,189 --> 01:17:35,024
d I feel a little strange
1472
01:17:35,025 --> 01:17:38,027
d Like I'm in a pay phone
1473
01:17:38,028 --> 01:17:41,698
d Without any change... d
- Sauna... Sauna!
1474
01:17:41,699 --> 01:17:45,829
Oh, this is fucked!
Get me the fuck out of here!
1475
01:17:46,996 --> 01:17:49,795
d I feel like a school... d
<i>- </i> Ramsy, Ramsy, good, Ramsy.
1476
01:17:51,167 --> 01:17:53,501
May we have a word, gentlemen?
1477
01:17:53,502 --> 01:17:55,962
Good sheep, nice and tight.
1478
01:17:55,963 --> 01:17:58,047
So, David, big day for you.
1479
01:17:58,048 --> 01:18:01,384
Jet lag OK? Weather not too hot?
1480
01:18:01,385 --> 01:18:03,228
What's in the bag?
1481
01:18:04,805 --> 01:18:06,682
This bag?
1482
01:18:08,017 --> 01:18:10,440
- Wedding presents.
<i>- </i> Presents, wedding presents.
1483
01:18:10,441 --> 01:18:14,022
May we see the wedding presents?
1484
01:18:14,023 --> 01:18:15,525
Yep.
1485
01:18:23,574 --> 01:18:27,035
That's one. I haven't wrapped it yet.
1486
01:18:27,036 --> 01:18:31,212
Gentlemen, you may be aware
that Ramsy is missing.
1487
01:18:32,583 --> 01:18:35,210
Jim's sheep.
1488
01:18:35,211 --> 01:18:37,259
Have you seen the sheep?
1489
01:18:42,801 --> 01:18:45,179
Have you seen any sheep?
1490
01:18:48,098 --> 01:18:49,600
Oof!
1491
01:18:53,812 --> 01:18:57,191
GRAHAM: I saw a sheep... once.
1492
01:18:58,317 --> 01:19:01,287
When... I was a kid.
1493
01:19:03,030 --> 01:19:04,864
(Mobile phone rings)
1494
01:19:04,865 --> 01:19:07,084
You'll tell us if you see anything,
won't you?
1495
01:19:09,161 --> 01:19:11,120
We'll shout.
1496
01:19:11,121 --> 01:19:12,288
Mum! Hello.
1497
01:19:12,289 --> 01:19:14,963
Alright. Off you go.
1498
01:19:17,878 --> 01:19:20,213
- Feel like I'm gonna be sick.
DAVID: Not yet.
1499
01:19:20,214 --> 01:19:22,590
We've got to get Ramsy
back to the Old House first.
1500
01:19:22,591 --> 01:19:23,638
Then you can be sick.
1501
01:19:23,639 --> 01:19:25,677
Whoa! Whoa!
1502
01:19:25,678 --> 01:19:27,512
Whoa...
1503
01:19:27,513 --> 01:19:30,141
Oh! No! No!
1504
01:19:43,988 --> 01:19:46,990
ALL: One, two, three.
1505
01:19:46,991 --> 01:19:48,834
(squeals)
1506
01:19:51,036 --> 01:19:52,788
Please! Let me out!
1507
01:19:54,540 --> 01:19:55,623
Let me out!
1508
01:19:55,624 --> 01:19:56,833
Thanks, guys.
1509
01:19:56,834 --> 01:19:58,882
I'm just gonna go and be sick now.
1510
01:20:00,170 --> 01:20:02,218
<i>(Door unlocks)
- Fuck! Go! Go!</i>
1511
01:20:12,016 --> 01:20:13,516
MIA: Well?
1512
01:20:13,517 --> 01:20:17,812
- It's taken care of.
<i>- </i> You are one lucky bastard.
1513
01:20:17,813 --> 01:20:19,856
<i>- </i> Technically, he's an orphan.
- Fine.
1514
01:20:19,857 --> 01:20:23,818
<i>- </i> You are one lucky orphaned bastard.
- I know.
1515
01:20:23,819 --> 01:20:25,862
(Graham retches)
1516
01:20:25,863 --> 01:20:28,281
(Laughs)
1517
01:20:28,282 --> 01:20:31,534
Uh, Jim, I don't know how
but Ramsy‘s back.
1518
01:20:31,535 --> 01:20:33,995
Must have just gone for a little walk.
1519
01:20:33,996 --> 01:20:36,539
Oh, well, so he just opened the gate
by himself,
1520
01:20:36,540 --> 01:20:39,834
had a little cup of coffee,
came home and closed the gate?
1521
01:20:39,835 --> 01:20:41,878
Sorry to waste your time, Leo.
1522
01:20:41,879 --> 01:20:44,630
As long as Ramsy is safe and sound,
that's all that counts.
1523
01:20:44,631 --> 01:20:48,176
Ready the ram. My future's riding on it.
1524
01:20:48,177 --> 01:20:50,851
Help! Aah!
1525
01:20:53,807 --> 01:20:57,852
And now, the one
you've all been waiting for... Ramsy!
1526
01:20:57,853 --> 01:20:59,651
<i>(clapping)</i>
1527
01:21:01,357 --> 01:21:04,201
d Baa, Baa, Black Sheep
1528
01:21:08,822 --> 01:21:10,745
This is really weird.
1529
01:21:17,581 --> 01:21:19,629
Follow that, Dave.
1530
01:21:24,797 --> 01:21:26,547
Thanks, everyone.
1531
01:21:26,548 --> 01:21:29,842
Firstly, I'd like to thank
Jim and Barbara
1532
01:21:29,843 --> 01:21:32,887
for putting on
such a magnificent wedding...
1533
01:21:32,888 --> 01:21:36,062
and doesn't Barbara look stunning,
everyone?
1534
01:21:39,019 --> 01:21:42,605
Uh, the bridesmaids, of course,
1535
01:21:42,606 --> 01:21:45,576
the caterers...
1536
01:21:48,362 --> 01:21:52,407
Mia, I don't think
I can describe in words
1537
01:21:52,408 --> 01:21:54,200
just how much you mean to me.
1538
01:21:54,201 --> 01:21:57,829
So I hope that this little video
1539
01:21:57,830 --> 01:22:01,880
will go some way towards showing
just how much I love you.
1540
01:22:05,712 --> 01:22:08,423
<i>VIDEO: Shotgun Ramsy,
shotgun Ramsy.</i>
1541
01:22:08,424 --> 01:22:10,222
<i>(Shocked gasps)</i>
1542
01:22:12,177 --> 01:22:15,888
<i>David kissed a sheep,
David's getting on to a sheep.</i>
1543
01:22:15,889 --> 01:22:18,307
Stop it. Cut it. Cut it.
1544
01:22:18,308 --> 01:22:22,353
Right, that's not the video
I meant to play. Obviously.
1545
01:22:22,354 --> 01:22:24,272
You violated my sheep!
1546
01:22:24,273 --> 01:22:28,651
Jim, I know that looks bad but, really,
we were just playing dress-ups.
1547
01:22:28,652 --> 01:22:30,620
It's not like
we're a bunch of criminals.
1548
01:22:30,621 --> 01:22:33,030
Where is my fucking cocaine?!
1549
01:22:33,031 --> 01:22:34,874
<i>(Shocked gasps)</i>
1550
01:22:37,995 --> 01:22:40,204
Graham.
1551
01:22:40,205 --> 01:22:45,632
You lying, thieving,
stealing little motherfucker.
1552
01:22:47,796 --> 01:22:49,630
I'm gonna kill you.
1553
01:22:49,631 --> 01:22:52,633
Alright, fella, drop the gun.
1554
01:22:52,634 --> 01:22:54,682
<i>(Shocked gasps)</i>
1555
01:22:57,014 --> 01:22:59,437
<i>- </i> Raymond.
- Dad?
1556
01:23:01,393 --> 01:23:05,021
Oh, come on, sweetheart.
It's going to be alright.
1557
01:23:05,022 --> 01:23:07,815
You gave it your best shot.
1558
01:23:07,816 --> 01:23:10,234
Even if it was just for three hours.
1559
01:23:10,235 --> 01:23:12,278
(Mia sobs)
1560
01:23:12,279 --> 01:23:14,322
This is the best wedding
I've ever been to.
1561
01:23:14,323 --> 01:23:16,407
I can't wait to see
what's gonna happen next.
1562
01:23:16,408 --> 01:23:20,328
d Baby we can talk all night... d
1563
01:23:20,329 --> 01:23:22,622
DAVID: We didn't plan any of this.
1564
01:23:22,623 --> 01:23:26,626
Oh, really?! You didn't plan to offend
the entire Australian parliament
1565
01:23:26,627 --> 01:23:31,214
with your hilarious antics
of sheep stealing, racism and buggery,
1566
01:23:31,215 --> 01:23:33,549
not to mention
that naked gun-wielding maniac!
1567
01:23:33,550 --> 01:23:35,843
We didn't actually steal the sheep.
1568
01:23:35,844 --> 01:23:38,267
We may have dressed it up
with some bra and panties...
1569
01:23:38,268 --> 01:23:41,182
Shut up! Or I'll break
your other fucking hand!
1570
01:23:41,183 --> 01:23:43,434
d Baby you can cry all night... d
1571
01:23:43,435 --> 01:23:46,395
<i>- </i> That's a bit harsh.
- With all due respect, Jim,
1572
01:23:46,396 --> 01:23:48,648
I know the wedding
hasn't been the smoothest...
1573
01:23:48,649 --> 01:23:51,817
Do you seriously think
under any circumstances
1574
01:23:51,818 --> 01:23:54,153
I would allow my daughter
to associate with you,
1575
01:23:54,154 --> 01:23:56,197
the backpacker,
1576
01:23:56,198 --> 01:23:58,246
and this bunch of deadbeats?
1577
01:24:00,577 --> 01:24:02,454
Jim.
1578
01:24:04,414 --> 01:24:07,166
When I proposed to your daughter,
1579
01:24:07,167 --> 01:24:09,710
I could not stop thinking about
what it would feel like
1580
01:24:09,711 --> 01:24:11,258
to be a part of a real family.
1581
01:24:13,257 --> 01:24:17,343
What I've come to realise is that
these 'deadbeats' as you call them
1582
01:24:17,344 --> 01:24:22,807
these idiots, morons,
complete and total fuck-ups...
1583
01:24:22,808 --> 01:24:24,850
OK, David, we get the picture.
1584
01:24:24,851 --> 01:24:26,569
..they are my family.
1585
01:24:28,397 --> 01:24:30,815
And they're not perfect
1586
01:24:30,816 --> 01:24:34,819
but I know that no matter what happens,
1587
01:24:34,820 --> 01:24:36,618
they'll always be there for me.
1588
01:24:38,156 --> 01:24:39,865
I'll always be there for them.
1589
01:24:39,866 --> 01:24:42,201
What on earth
are you blathering on about?
1590
01:24:42,202 --> 01:24:45,037
I love your daughter.
1591
01:24:45,038 --> 01:24:47,962
And I will do whatever it takes
to make this right.
1592
01:24:51,587 --> 01:24:54,511
Save your breath, son. It's over.
1593
01:25:04,224 --> 01:25:10,152
d Baby we can talk all night... d
1594
01:25:12,149 --> 01:25:13,992
GRAHAM: I'm really sorry, David.
1595
01:25:15,569 --> 01:25:19,196
LUKE: I actually got some really good
therapists specialized in this area.
1596
01:25:19,197 --> 01:25:20,740
Maybe we could go together.
1597
01:25:20,741 --> 01:25:23,284
Yes, it's not all bad.
He can come back to London with us,
1598
01:25:23,285 --> 01:25:26,120
go to therapy with Luke,
watch Graham vomit his cheese,
1599
01:25:26,121 --> 01:25:30,207
everything will stay the same
till we're old and lonely and grey.
1600
01:25:30,208 --> 01:25:34,634
Now, haven't you got a video to deliver,
brother?
1601
01:25:36,381 --> 01:25:38,633
Sweetheart.
1602
01:25:38,634 --> 01:25:40,676
I know you're upset.
1603
01:25:40,677 --> 01:25:43,596
But it hasn't been a total washout.
1604
01:25:43,597 --> 01:25:45,850
It was going to be a wedding present...
1605
01:25:47,559 --> 01:25:49,644
Jim, this is not the time.
1606
01:25:49,645 --> 01:25:53,064
Congratulations, Senator.
1607
01:25:53,065 --> 01:25:55,399
- Wha...
<i>- </i> I'm retiring, sweetheart.
1608
01:25:55,400 --> 01:25:58,027
And I'm giving my seat to you.
1609
01:25:58,028 --> 01:26:00,030
(Tom whispers): Bigger one.
1610
01:26:01,365 --> 01:26:04,158
The party's all behind it
and if Eddie Marshall gives the OK,
1611
01:26:04,159 --> 01:26:06,202
you'll be running on your own
next election.
1612
01:26:06,203 --> 01:26:07,244
How could you?
1613
01:26:07,245 --> 01:26:09,955
TOM: Big one.
GRAHAM: Bigger one.
1614
01:26:09,956 --> 01:26:12,041
(Glass shatters) Oh!
1615
01:26:12,042 --> 01:26:13,840
DAVID: Mia?
1616
01:26:16,171 --> 01:26:17,923
Mia?
1617
01:26:19,758 --> 01:26:22,051
I'm so sorry for what happened today.
1618
01:26:22,052 --> 01:26:24,095
More than you can imagine.
1619
01:26:24,096 --> 01:26:27,306
But I'm not sorry I met you,
I'm not sorry I love you,
1620
01:26:27,307 --> 01:26:28,891
I'm not sorry I married you.
1621
01:26:28,892 --> 01:26:31,644
What is it about ‘it's over‘
you don't understand, Dave?
1622
01:26:31,645 --> 01:26:35,606
My name's David, not Dave
and I'm talking to Mia so shut up!
1623
01:26:35,607 --> 01:26:37,233
Leave him, Jim.
1624
01:26:37,234 --> 01:26:39,953
Please, Mia.
1625
01:26:44,991 --> 01:26:46,664
Just press play?
1626
01:26:50,580 --> 01:26:52,456
Mia, give me the phone.
1627
01:26:52,457 --> 01:26:54,959
- Jim, for God's sake, shut up!
- Shut up!
1628
01:26:54,960 --> 01:26:57,463
They told me nobody was here.
1629
01:26:59,172 --> 01:27:01,632
And I guess that's why I came.
1630
01:27:01,633 --> 01:27:05,052
I was lost and I needed time
to figure it out
1631
01:27:05,053 --> 01:27:07,852
and suddenly, there you were.
1632
01:27:09,182 --> 01:27:11,310
On the same beach
looking for the same thing.
1633
01:27:12,394 --> 01:27:14,770
This little beach
is where my life began.
1634
01:27:14,771 --> 01:27:17,024
My parents left me a trust.
1635
01:27:18,150 --> 01:27:20,198
Just enough to put down a deposit.
1636
01:27:22,362 --> 01:27:24,405
It's ours, Mia.
1637
01:27:24,406 --> 01:27:27,366
It's not England or Australia.
1638
01:27:27,367 --> 01:27:28,826
Ours.
1639
01:27:28,827 --> 01:27:31,203
I know we've only just met
1640
01:27:31,204 --> 01:27:34,039
but I know that we belong together.
1641
01:27:34,040 --> 01:27:35,633
I love you.
1642
01:27:37,586 --> 01:27:41,636
So, let's start here and
figure out the next part together.
1643
01:27:43,383 --> 01:27:45,009
That's it.
1644
01:27:45,010 --> 01:27:47,636
Everything I've got and it's yours.
1645
01:27:47,637 --> 01:27:49,847
I could buy you a better beach
in Noosa!
1646
01:27:49,848 --> 01:27:51,724
Dad, stop.
1647
01:27:51,725 --> 01:27:53,559
But he's just a backpacker!
1648
01:27:53,560 --> 01:27:55,853
You were a hitchhiker when I met you!
1649
01:27:55,854 --> 01:27:59,607
It's not about the beach... or luck.
1650
01:27:59,608 --> 01:28:02,067
It's destiny and I love him.
1651
01:28:02,068 --> 01:28:03,903
Run, Mia, run!
1652
01:28:03,904 --> 01:28:05,998
Jim, let go.
1653
01:28:25,133 --> 01:28:27,181
She's really fallen for him. (Laughs)
1654
01:28:30,013 --> 01:28:31,686
BARBARA: Oh...
MIA: David!
1655
01:28:37,979 --> 01:28:41,148
Darling, you may have lost a senator
1656
01:28:41,149 --> 01:28:44,198
but you've gained a beautiful daughter.
Hic!
1657
01:28:46,780 --> 01:28:49,203
- And a beautiful son.
- Ow.
1658
01:28:54,162 --> 01:28:55,871
d Oh, Mickey, you're so fine
1659
01:28:55,872 --> 01:28:58,040
d You're so fine you blow my mind
Hey, Mickey
1660
01:28:58,041 --> 01:29:01,045
d Hey, Mickey, hey, Mickey,
Mickey, Mickey, Mickey... d
1661
01:29:03,046 --> 01:29:04,263
(Sobs)
1662
01:29:05,590 --> 01:29:09,218
- What happened to your arm?
- Oh, this?
1663
01:29:09,219 --> 01:29:13,222
Oh, yeah, I just sort of got... shot.
1664
01:29:13,223 --> 01:29:14,849
- Shot?
- Yeah.
1665
01:29:14,850 --> 01:29:17,852
It's OK, though, it's just...
a little bit of flesh wound.
1666
01:29:17,853 --> 01:29:19,645
Ah! Ah!
1667
01:29:19,646 --> 01:29:22,398
d When you take me by the hooves,
who's ever gonna know
1668
01:29:22,399 --> 01:29:25,442
d And every time you move,
I let a little more show
1669
01:29:25,443 --> 01:29:29,198
d There's somethin' we can use
so don't say no, Mickey
1670
01:29:31,867 --> 01:29:35,035
d So come on give it to me
any way you can
1671
01:29:35,036 --> 01:29:38,038
d Any way you want to,
I'll take it like a man
1672
01:29:38,039 --> 01:29:41,041
d Oh, please, baby, please,
don't leave me in the damn... d
1673
01:29:41,042 --> 01:29:43,377
Sarah? Yeah, listen, it's me.
1674
01:29:43,378 --> 01:29:44,879
No, don't hang up.
1675
01:29:44,880 --> 01:29:47,172
It's the last time I'm gonna call you,
I swear.
1676
01:29:47,173 --> 01:29:51,553
Just have one teeny, tiny question
I've been wanting to ask.
1677
01:29:53,013 --> 01:29:55,431
TOM: Sorry I almost fucked up
your wedding.
1678
01:29:55,432 --> 01:29:58,642
DAVID: My wedding?
How about my life?
1679
01:29:58,643 --> 01:30:00,811
Well, that's your job, right?
1680
01:30:00,812 --> 01:30:02,860
That's what big brothers do.
1681
01:30:06,359 --> 01:30:08,152
I'm impressed, man.
1682
01:30:08,153 --> 01:30:11,030
You've backed a real winner.
She's perfect.
1683
01:30:11,031 --> 01:30:13,824
Wait, did you just say you were wrong?
1684
01:30:13,825 --> 01:30:16,619
No, I just said I was sorry
and you'll be really fucking sorry
1685
01:30:16,620 --> 01:30:18,746
if that island is too small
for my surfboard.
1686
01:30:18,747 --> 01:30:20,545
Now, come here, man.
1687
01:30:21,791 --> 01:30:23,417
Respect.
1688
01:30:23,418 --> 01:30:26,837
You did it. First out of the gate.
1689
01:30:26,838 --> 01:30:29,048
Fuck knows,
it gives me hope for Graham.
1690
01:30:29,049 --> 01:30:33,218
Guys, I pulled her. I pulled a lesbian.
1691
01:30:33,219 --> 01:30:36,889
- Oh, I don't believe it.
<i>- </i> Guys! He's got a penis!
1692
01:30:36,890 --> 01:30:38,474
Congratulations, man.
1693
01:30:38,475 --> 01:30:40,517
- Oh, great, he's got a penis.
- Whoa...
1694
01:30:40,518 --> 01:30:42,862
(Distant screaming)
<i>- </i> And a massive phone bill.
1695
01:30:45,774 --> 01:30:47,321
Luke?
1696
01:30:49,986 --> 01:30:51,488
<i>LUKE: Help!</i>
1697
01:30:52,489 --> 01:30:54,366
GRAHAM: Oh, shit.
1698
01:30:57,160 --> 01:31:01,415
OLIVIA NEWTON-JOHN:
d I confess my heart's in a mess
1699
01:31:04,167 --> 01:31:08,047
d I lost my way and need you to say
1700
01:31:18,390 --> 01:31:23,863
d I can tell you I love you
whenever you need reminding
1701
01:31:25,772 --> 01:31:32,403
d And be where you go when you think
there'll be no silver lining
1702
01:31:32,404 --> 01:31:35,447
d When you need my understanding
1703
01:31:35,448 --> 01:31:40,035
d I've given you all that I can give
1704
01:31:40,036 --> 01:31:42,037
d And when I'm a fool
1705
01:31:42,038 --> 01:31:46,418
d I'm hoping that you'll forgive
1706
01:31:47,585 --> 01:31:50,629
<i>d I confess my heart's in a mess</i>
1707
01:31:50,630 --> 01:31:54,425
d But you can untangle it
1708
01:31:54,426 --> 01:31:58,053
d I lost my way and need you to say
1709
01:31:58,054 --> 01:32:01,223
d Say you'll untangle it
1710
01:32:01,224 --> 01:32:04,852
d If you show me I'm a keeper
1711
01:32:04,853 --> 01:32:08,188
d If you lift me up and love me deeper
1712
01:32:08,189 --> 01:32:13,027
d I'm no angel but I promise you this
1713
01:32:13,028 --> 01:32:18,626
d I'm gonna be weightless
1714
01:32:31,796 --> 01:32:37,053
d I will make you all mine
I'm not giving up for a minute
1715
01:32:39,179 --> 01:32:45,225
d But love can be lonely
if you are the only one in it
1716
01:32:45,226 --> 01:32:47,436
d I believe
1717
01:32:47,437 --> 01:32:53,192
d That any moment
you could be standing at my door
1718
01:32:53,193 --> 01:32:55,319
d Don't make it too late
1719
01:32:55,320 --> 01:32:58,290
d I don't want to wait no more
1720
01:33:00,992 --> 01:33:04,203
<i>d I confess my heart's in a mess</i>
1721
01:33:04,204 --> 01:33:07,414
d But you can untangle it
1722
01:33:07,415 --> 01:33:11,418
d I'm on my knees
and begging you please
1723
01:33:11,419 --> 01:33:14,630
d To say you'll untangle it
1724
01:33:14,631 --> 01:33:18,217
d If you show me I'm a keeper
1725
01:33:18,218 --> 01:33:21,845
d If you lift me up and love me deeper
1726
01:33:21,846 --> 01:33:26,433
d I'm no angel but I promise you this
1727
01:33:26,434 --> 01:33:33,818
d I'm gonna be weightless
1728
01:33:40,156 --> 01:33:42,409
<i>d Weightless</i>
1729
01:33:58,174 --> 01:34:00,347
<i>d Weightless</i>
1730
01:34:14,357 --> 01:34:19,027
d Oh, if you show me I'm a keeper
1731
01:34:19,028 --> 01:34:22,614
d If you lift me up and love me deeper
1732
01:34:22,615 --> 01:34:27,202
d I'm no angel but I promise you this
1733
01:34:27,203 --> 01:34:30,203
d I'm gonna be weightless
1734
01:34:36,421 --> 01:34:39,214
<i>d I confess my heart's in a mess</i>
1735
01:34:39,215 --> 01:34:42,843
<i>d You can untangle it</i>
1736
01:34:42,844 --> 01:34:46,221
<i>d I lost my way, I need you to say</i>
1737
01:34:46,222 --> 01:34:49,850
<i>d Say you'll untangle it</i>
1738
01:34:49,851 --> 01:34:53,395
<i>d I confess my heart's in a mess</i>
1739
01:34:53,396 --> 01:34:57,191
<i>d You can untangle it</i>
1740
01:34:57,192 --> 01:35:00,611
<i>d On my knees
I'm begging you, please</i>
1741
01:35:00,612 --> 01:35:03,614
<i>d Baby untangle it</i>
1742
01:35:03,615 --> 01:35:08,212
<i>d I'm gonna be weight...
d I'm gonna be weight...</i>
1743
01:35:15,168 --> 01:35:17,170
<i>d Less. d</i>
1744
01:35:19,172 --> 01:35:22,051
d Reggae
1745
01:35:24,219 --> 01:35:28,269
Ripped and fixed by gioni666
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