A Haunted House 2013 . English subtitles. Субтитры к фильму на английском языке.

1
00:01:26,486 --> 00:01:28,317
Why isn't this
stupid thing workin'?

2
00:01:28,421 --> 00:01:29,786
See, that's that bullshit.

3
00:01:29,856 --> 00:01:31,448
I'm taking this shit
right back to Best Buy.

4
00:01:33,126 --> 00:01:34,616
Or not.

5
00:01:34,694 --> 00:01:36,457
Stupid lens cap.

6
00:01:36,529 --> 00:01:37,962
Wow!

7
00:01:38,331 --> 00:01:39,355
Brand-new camera.

8
00:01:39,466 --> 00:01:41,491
I'm filming
everything with this.

9
00:01:41,601 --> 00:01:44,126
Christmas, New Year's,
vagina.

10
00:01:44,704 --> 00:01:48,504
All right.
Today is the big day.

11
00:01:48,608 --> 00:01:50,701
My girlfriend
Kisha's moving in.

12
00:01:50,810 --> 00:01:52,971
Now, all my boys keep telling
me, "Don't do it, don't do it,

13
00:01:53,046 --> 00:01:54,809
"because everything's
gonna change.

14
00:01:54,881 --> 00:01:56,314
"She's gonna take
over your house.

15
00:01:56,382 --> 00:01:57,508
"She's never
gonna cook again.

16
00:01:57,617 --> 00:01:58,675
"And worst of all,

17
00:01:58,785 --> 00:02:01,151
"you're putting
your dick in jail. "

18
00:02:01,221 --> 00:02:02,620
I think they're trippin'.

19
00:02:02,689 --> 00:02:05,556
Once she moves in,
everything's gonna be perfect.

20
00:02:05,658 --> 00:02:06,852
Place looks nice.

21
00:02:06,960 --> 00:02:08,860
Baby boy cleaned up
for you, huh?

22
00:02:08,962 --> 00:02:10,657
Oh, shit!

23
00:02:10,730 --> 00:02:12,027
Rosa!

24
00:02:13,466 --> 00:02:14,990
Hey, you gotta
announce yourself.

25
00:02:15,068 --> 00:02:17,059
You can't just creep up
on me.

26
00:02:17,170 --> 00:02:18,899
Aw, come on. This is
my housekeeper, Rosa.

27
00:02:18,972 --> 00:02:21,167
Say hi. Say hi.
Say hi!

28
00:02:21,241 --> 00:02:23,004
<i>Hi! Hola.
Say "Hola. " Hola.</i>

29
00:02:23,076 --> 00:02:24,065
Bye-bye!

30
00:02:24,210 --> 00:02:25,234
No, no. We gonna
say hi the right way.

31
00:02:28,047 --> 00:02:29,378
Ay, ay, ay, ay, ay!

32
00:02:29,482 --> 00:02:31,313
Do this.
Oh!

33
00:02:31,651 --> 00:02:32,982
<i>I'm a big bambino?</i>

34
00:02:35,855 --> 00:02:37,482
You know I love you.

35
00:02:37,690 --> 00:02:39,988
Hey, Shiloh!
Say hi to Mommy.

36
00:02:40,226 --> 00:02:43,093
I'm gonna hump you on your
leg, Kisha. That's right.

37
00:02:43,163 --> 00:02:44,528
And I'm gonna lick you
all over your face

38
00:02:44,597 --> 00:02:46,724
with my dog-ball mouth.

39
00:02:48,001 --> 00:02:49,969
Oh, shit. Here she comes.

40
00:02:50,036 --> 00:02:51,094
Hi, baby!

41
00:02:51,171 --> 00:02:52,468
Hey, baby! Hi!

42
00:02:53,673 --> 00:02:55,163
No, no, Shiloh!
Wait! No, no, no, no!

43
00:02:55,575 --> 00:02:57,440
Shiloh! What did you do?

44
00:02:57,510 --> 00:02:59,000
I didn't see him!
What did you do?

45
00:02:59,078 --> 00:03:00,067
I'm so sorry.

46
00:03:01,214 --> 00:03:02,272
Oh, my God!

47
00:03:03,116 --> 00:03:04,105
Shiloh, come on, breathe.

48
00:03:04,184 --> 00:03:05,208
Maybe he's
just playing dead.

49
00:03:05,285 --> 00:03:07,253
He doesn't know
how to play dead.

50
00:03:07,353 --> 00:03:09,753
He knows how to shake hands.
He knows how to fetch.

51
00:03:09,856 --> 00:03:11,619
He knows how to roll over.

52
00:03:11,724 --> 00:03:12,850
He don't know
how to play dead.

53
00:03:12,926 --> 00:03:14,359
Come on, Shiloh, breathe.

54
00:03:14,427 --> 00:03:16,452
One, two, three.
Breathe.

55
00:03:16,563 --> 00:03:18,463
Aww!

56
00:03:18,565 --> 00:03:20,226
Give me the jumper
cables. The jumper cables?

57
00:03:20,300 --> 00:03:22,393
Give me
the goddamn jumper cables!

58
00:03:22,468 --> 00:03:23,799
Don't you die on me!

59
00:03:24,237 --> 00:03:26,330
Start the car!

60
00:03:26,406 --> 00:03:28,203
Clear! Go!

61
00:03:28,308 --> 00:03:29,605
Oh, shit!

62
00:03:33,479 --> 00:03:34,503
Meet me at the hospital!

63
00:03:37,183 --> 00:03:39,014
The hospital's that way!

64
00:03:39,085 --> 00:03:40,450
Don't go towards
the light, Shiloh!

65
00:03:43,690 --> 00:03:45,590
You're in
a better place now, buddy.

66
00:03:45,658 --> 00:03:47,455
I'm so, so sorry.

67
00:03:48,228 --> 00:03:49,752
It's okay, baby.

68
00:03:49,829 --> 00:03:52,593
It's... It's not your fault. Yes, it is.

69
00:03:52,665 --> 00:03:55,429
You know, look...
Look on the bright side.

70
00:03:55,501 --> 00:03:57,401
I'm allergic to dogs.

71
00:03:57,470 --> 00:03:59,904
I know, but that's what
was so great about Shiloh.

72
00:04:01,241 --> 00:04:03,175
He was hypoallergenic.

73
00:04:04,310 --> 00:04:07,108
Shiloh!

74
00:04:19,626 --> 00:04:22,857
Oh, my God!
Look at all this shit.

75
00:04:22,962 --> 00:04:25,453
Okay, Malcolm,
this is the last box.

76
00:04:25,598 --> 00:04:28,362
What's with the camera?

77
00:04:28,434 --> 00:04:29,833
I'm documenting
our lives together.

78
00:04:29,936 --> 00:04:30,960
Say hi.

79
00:04:31,037 --> 00:04:33,904
Hi! Okay. Mmm.

80
00:04:34,073 --> 00:04:35,597
That ass
lookin' nice, baby.

81
00:04:35,675 --> 00:04:38,075
Hey, hey. Pan up, pan up. I see that.

82
00:04:38,144 --> 00:04:39,736
Baby, you are officially
a hoarder.

83
00:04:39,812 --> 00:04:41,439
I swear to God, I'm gonna
open one of these boxes

84
00:04:41,514 --> 00:04:44,108
and find, like, a dead cat and
an old baloney sandwich in it.

85
00:04:44,183 --> 00:04:45,810
Ha, ha, ha.
Very funny.

86
00:04:45,985 --> 00:04:47,816
Oh, my God.
Do you need these?

87
00:04:47,887 --> 00:04:49,320
Yes! These are...
For what?

88
00:04:49,389 --> 00:04:51,118
These are good
wedding shoes!

89
00:04:51,190 --> 00:04:53,681
One to 10, what are you
feeling right now about that?

90
00:04:53,960 --> 00:04:56,190
Um, 8.7.

91
00:04:56,362 --> 00:04:58,296
What do you feel
about that? Nine. Nine.

92
00:04:58,364 --> 00:04:59,422
That's a nine?
Yes.

93
00:04:59,499 --> 00:05:01,467
No, wait! Come on. Come on.
What's this? Hold on.

94
00:05:01,534 --> 00:05:04,401
This is a box that my aunt
brought from Kenya.

95
00:05:05,872 --> 00:05:06,964
This is a nine, too.

96
00:05:07,040 --> 00:05:08,098
Oh, my God!

97
00:05:08,408 --> 00:05:09,397
Say it.

98
00:05:09,475 --> 00:05:11,966
Hi, my name is Kisha Davis,
and I'm a hoarder.

99
00:05:15,248 --> 00:05:16,647
There's shame.

100
00:05:18,351 --> 00:05:19,477
Oh, wow.

101
00:05:20,153 --> 00:05:21,984
Are these
your daddy's ashes?

102
00:05:22,255 --> 00:05:24,189
Yes, Malcolm.
They go where I go.

103
00:05:24,457 --> 00:05:27,017
So, we're gonna have his
ghost watching over us?

104
00:05:27,427 --> 00:05:28,553
That's comforting.

105
00:05:28,628 --> 00:05:32,064
Just put him in the other
room. He likes to watch TV.

106
00:05:32,131 --> 00:05:33,223
He's dead.
What's he gonna watch?

107
00:05:33,299 --> 00:05:34,789
<i>American Horror Story?</i>

108
00:05:36,269 --> 00:05:38,260
Okay, babe, these video
games, they have to go.

109
00:05:38,338 --> 00:05:40,101
Wait. Leave my video
games alone. They're tacky.

110
00:05:40,173 --> 00:05:41,231
Give me my camera!

111
00:05:41,307 --> 00:05:42,535
Kisha, stop playing.
You're gonna break it.

112
00:05:42,642 --> 00:05:44,803
I'm not gonna break it.
Give me my camera!

113
00:05:50,817 --> 00:05:53,752
<i>"Negra?" Did she
just call me a nigger?</i>

114
00:05:53,820 --> 00:05:55,651
What? What?

115
00:05:55,755 --> 00:05:57,450
I will lambada your ass!

116
00:05:57,523 --> 00:05:58,956
English! English!
Speak English!

117
00:05:59,025 --> 00:06:00,219
Baby. Baby. Baby!

118
00:06:00,293 --> 00:06:01,590
You know she
don't like me, right?

119
00:06:02,095 --> 00:06:03,460
Oh, I know
what's going on here.

120
00:06:03,529 --> 00:06:04,791
Are you banging Rosa?

121
00:06:04,864 --> 00:06:07,128
You got some Schwarzenegger
stuff going on in here, right?

122
00:06:07,200 --> 00:06:08,827
Really?
Yeah, okay, yeah.

123
00:06:08,935 --> 00:06:10,334
She's pregnant with
my love child right now.

124
00:06:10,436 --> 00:06:12,961
Yeah, we're gonna have a nappy-haired
baby that speaks perfect Spanish.

125
00:06:13,506 --> 00:06:15,474
Come on. Think
about it. Okay.

126
00:06:16,909 --> 00:06:18,638
Mmm.

127
00:06:18,745 --> 00:06:20,406
Mmm.

128
00:06:20,546 --> 00:06:22,446
Hungry there, buddy?
Mm-hmm.

129
00:06:22,515 --> 00:06:24,142
You're over there eating
like the Cookie Monster.

130
00:06:26,018 --> 00:06:27,849
Can I just enjoy
my food, please?

131
00:06:27,954 --> 00:06:29,979
Wow. Somebody's crabby.

132
00:06:31,124 --> 00:06:33,149
I'm sorry.
I'm just tired.

133
00:06:33,726 --> 00:06:37,127
I haven't been sleeping well.
I keep hearing these noises.

134
00:06:37,930 --> 00:06:39,056
Scary.

135
00:06:39,265 --> 00:06:41,961
Well, you don't have
to be afraid, okay?

136
00:06:42,068 --> 00:06:43,899
'Cause you're
living with me now.

137
00:06:43,970 --> 00:06:46,302
And nobody's gonna
hurt you on my watch.

138
00:06:46,406 --> 00:06:47,771
Okay?
Okay.

139
00:06:51,310 --> 00:06:53,141
Unless the nigger
got a gun.

140
00:06:53,279 --> 00:06:54,871
Then you on your own.

141
00:06:57,917 --> 00:06:58,906
What?

142
00:07:01,120 --> 00:07:03,418
Hey, baby, what you doin'?

143
00:07:03,489 --> 00:07:07,050
Well, it's time to put on
something a little more comfortable.

144
00:07:07,293 --> 00:07:09,193
Aha! That's what
I'm talkin' about!

145
00:07:10,363 --> 00:07:11,796
Fellas,
get out your pen and pads.

146
00:07:11,864 --> 00:07:14,628
We about to give you a sex
tutorial. Let's do this.

147
00:07:27,947 --> 00:07:30,177
Mmm. Oh.

148
00:07:30,383 --> 00:07:32,078
Yeah.

149
00:07:33,219 --> 00:07:34,948
Oh, you got the beat!

150
00:07:35,054 --> 00:07:36,419
Oh! Stop.

151
00:07:36,489 --> 00:07:38,116
Stop. Not yet. Not... Ahh!

152
00:07:40,993 --> 00:07:42,858
You gonna bring
a friend there, huh?

153
00:07:42,995 --> 00:07:44,428
Ah. Ah.

154
00:07:44,630 --> 00:07:46,757
Uh-huh? Watch that.
Uh-huh.

155
00:07:46,833 --> 00:07:49,097
Now you get some, yeah.
Watch. Watch.

156
00:07:49,368 --> 00:07:50,357
Ah, taste that.

157
00:07:50,436 --> 00:07:52,529
Look at Daddy. Uh-huh.

158
00:07:54,807 --> 00:07:56,866
Two dogs, one duck.

159
00:07:56,943 --> 00:07:58,137
Get it nasty.
You nasty.

160
00:08:01,380 --> 00:08:02,745
Go home.

161
00:08:02,815 --> 00:08:05,045
I want you by myself. Yeah.

162
00:08:06,018 --> 00:08:07,417
Shh.

163
00:08:07,787 --> 00:08:09,550
Oh. Oh, shit!
That's still hot!

164
00:08:09,622 --> 00:08:12,090
Shut up. Take it.
You just take it.

165
00:08:15,561 --> 00:08:16,994
Take it, take it, take it.

166
00:08:17,063 --> 00:08:18,894
Baby!
Yeah, baby?

167
00:08:18,965 --> 00:08:23,197
I cannot believe this is our
first night living together!

168
00:08:23,302 --> 00:08:25,202
Yeah. It's nice, huh?
Uh-huh.

169
00:08:25,304 --> 00:08:27,135
I can't wait to
lie next to you.

170
00:08:27,206 --> 00:08:29,367
Oh, me, too.
Gotta go, baby.

171
00:08:29,475 --> 00:08:30,965
It was fun.

172
00:08:34,447 --> 00:08:35,880
Whoo!

173
00:08:36,048 --> 00:08:37,174
Get in.

174
00:08:37,583 --> 00:08:38,641
Whoo-hoo-hoo!

175
00:08:38,718 --> 00:08:39,742
Here I come!

176
00:08:39,819 --> 00:08:40,877
Okay, honey.

177
00:08:45,992 --> 00:08:48,483
Baby, you are
the sexiest woman...

178
00:08:48,561 --> 00:08:50,688
What the hell?

179
00:08:50,796 --> 00:08:54,926
You know, Malcolm, not everybody
goes to bed looking like a supermodel.

180
00:08:55,001 --> 00:08:56,901
Apparently not.
You know?

181
00:08:57,003 --> 00:08:58,470
Besides, what is wrong with my outfit?

182
00:08:58,538 --> 00:09:00,802
Nothin', if you lived in a
box underneath the freeway.

183
00:09:00,873 --> 00:09:01,862
What?

184
00:09:02,174 --> 00:09:04,108
Come on! Hold the sign up, please?

185
00:09:06,512 --> 00:09:07,638
Can I go to bed?

186
00:09:07,713 --> 00:09:09,044
No, you gotta
get the joke first!

187
00:09:09,148 --> 00:09:10,172
Come on.

188
00:09:10,249 --> 00:09:11,307
All right.
Okay, fine.

189
00:09:11,384 --> 00:09:12,476
Okay. I'm ready.

190
00:09:12,552 --> 00:09:14,110
All right. Go ahead.

191
00:09:14,186 --> 00:09:16,211
Spare change?

192
00:09:16,289 --> 00:09:17,950
You stupid!

193
00:09:32,171 --> 00:09:34,799
I love you.
Good night.

194
00:09:54,860 --> 00:09:55,986
God!

195
00:10:01,601 --> 00:10:03,865
How could someone
so cute be so stink?

196
00:10:03,936 --> 00:10:06,097
Oh, Jesus Christ!

197
00:10:09,308 --> 00:10:12,436
Oh, really?
Oh, God!

198
00:10:13,946 --> 00:10:15,607
What crawled up
your ass and died?

199
00:10:15,715 --> 00:10:16,739
Shit!

200
00:10:16,916 --> 00:10:18,508
Really?

201
00:10:18,584 --> 00:10:20,313
You ain't allowed to move
in here and do this shit.

202
00:10:20,386 --> 00:10:21,375
Mm-mmm.

203
00:10:21,487 --> 00:10:22,977
Mm-mmm.

204
00:10:23,055 --> 00:10:24,682
Ugh!

205
00:10:24,790 --> 00:10:27,020
Aah!

206
00:10:28,461 --> 00:10:30,224
It's alive! What?

207
00:10:33,132 --> 00:10:35,396
Oh! Oh! Oh, fuck!

208
00:10:35,468 --> 00:10:36,901
Oh!

209
00:10:37,003 --> 00:10:38,937
I heard that.

210
00:10:42,642 --> 00:10:45,509
So, we didn't
have sex last night.

211
00:10:45,578 --> 00:10:49,173
Kisha didn't cook,
and she killed my dog.

212
00:10:49,248 --> 00:10:51,307
But other than that,

213
00:10:51,384 --> 00:10:54,080
I guess this moving-in thing
is gonna be pretty cool.

214
00:10:55,921 --> 00:10:58,481
Malcolm! Malcolm!

215
00:10:58,858 --> 00:11:00,223
What's up?

216
00:11:00,292 --> 00:11:03,056
My keys are on the floor.

217
00:11:03,129 --> 00:11:04,187
Okay.

218
00:11:04,296 --> 00:11:05,661
Malcolm.
What?

219
00:11:05,765 --> 00:11:07,699
Something weird
is going on here.

220
00:11:07,800 --> 00:11:09,267
If you mean
something weird

221
00:11:09,335 --> 00:11:11,098
like you farting in your
sleep, yes, there is.

222
00:11:11,170 --> 00:11:12,865
No, no.

223
00:11:13,039 --> 00:11:14,097
I think we have a ghost.

224
00:11:14,173 --> 00:11:15,197
A ghost?

225
00:11:15,274 --> 00:11:17,742
Yeah, okay. No, you
have a ghost in your ass.

226
00:11:18,044 --> 00:11:19,204
Okay. Come on, really?

227
00:11:19,278 --> 00:11:22,304
I wanna bring a psychic
to tell us what's going on.

228
00:11:22,381 --> 00:11:23,439
A psychic?

229
00:11:23,516 --> 00:11:24,949
Ah, come on, Kish.
That's ridiculous.

230
00:11:25,017 --> 00:11:26,814
Look, I'll tell you
what's going on, okay?

231
00:11:26,886 --> 00:11:28,444
Some neighborhood kid
came in here,

232
00:11:28,521 --> 00:11:30,284
stole something out of your
purse, and then he left...

233
00:11:30,356 --> 00:11:33,291
No. See, if anyone
is stealing anything,

234
00:11:33,359 --> 00:11:35,759
It is you-know-who, okay?

235
00:11:37,596 --> 00:11:39,928
Hey, girl!

236
00:11:40,032 --> 00:11:43,160
Okay, we have no idea what
she's doing when we're not here.

237
00:11:43,636 --> 00:11:45,866
Why is she
always wearing gloves?

238
00:11:45,938 --> 00:11:47,405
Okay, fine.
I'll take care of it.

239
00:11:47,473 --> 00:11:48,462
Guilty.

240
00:11:50,943 --> 00:11:51,967
Hey, I'm Dan
the Security Man.

241
00:11:52,078 --> 00:11:53,306
Hey, how you doin'?
Nice to meet you.

242
00:11:53,379 --> 00:11:54,710
Oh, whoa! Hey, hey, hey! What's up?

243
00:11:54,780 --> 00:11:56,577
Hey, I'm sorry, buddy.
I didn't see you back there.

244
00:11:56,649 --> 00:11:58,776
That's my associate, Bob.
Actually, he's my brother.

245
00:11:58,851 --> 00:12:00,045
He's a simple...

246
00:12:00,119 --> 00:12:01,279
I'm his brother, too.

247
00:12:01,353 --> 00:12:03,480
He used to play in the
dryer. We turned it on once.

248
00:12:05,624 --> 00:12:06,648
Whoa, whoa!

249
00:12:06,726 --> 00:12:07,920
Hey, yo,
you better back up!

250
00:12:07,993 --> 00:12:08,982
What's the problem?

251
00:12:09,095 --> 00:12:10,528
We're here to
install cameras.

252
00:12:10,596 --> 00:12:12,188
Yeah. Not to be filmed on camera.

253
00:12:12,264 --> 00:12:13,526
'Cause I'm doing
my own reality show.

254
00:12:13,599 --> 00:12:14,827
Well, I'm not
signing anything.

255
00:12:14,934 --> 00:12:16,697
And I can't write.
He can't write.

256
00:12:16,802 --> 00:12:18,133
Blur this out.

257
00:12:18,871 --> 00:12:20,304
Mosaic.
Okay.

258
00:12:20,606 --> 00:12:21,868
What is he doing?

259
00:12:22,074 --> 00:12:23,632
Is the owner home?

260
00:12:23,909 --> 00:12:25,308
You're talking to him.

261
00:12:25,377 --> 00:12:27,311
Yeah, right!

262
00:12:27,379 --> 00:12:28,403
Wow.

263
00:12:28,481 --> 00:12:30,745
Oh. Wow. Okay.

264
00:12:31,183 --> 00:12:34,016
All right. Now, that camera
covers your entire backyard.

265
00:12:34,120 --> 00:12:35,280
It's cool.

266
00:12:35,454 --> 00:12:37,513
Let's say you and the missus
are having a pool party, right?

267
00:12:37,623 --> 00:12:39,523
You know, you're grilling up
some fried chicken,

268
00:12:39,592 --> 00:12:42,459
probably some ribs.

269
00:12:42,795 --> 00:12:44,820
Hot wings,
some pig knuckle,

270
00:12:44,897 --> 00:12:46,228
strimps.

271
00:12:47,133 --> 00:12:48,532
You know,
maybe some corn bread.

272
00:12:49,468 --> 00:12:52,460
I'd say watermelon, but
that might be racist, right?

273
00:12:52,605 --> 00:12:54,436
Corn bread was
pretty close.

274
00:12:54,540 --> 00:12:57,304
Not really. Country
folks eat corn bread.

275
00:12:57,977 --> 00:12:59,069
Can I say it?

276
00:12:59,578 --> 00:13:01,068
You talking about the "N" word? Yeah.

277
00:13:01,147 --> 00:13:02,478
No. It's not appropriate.

278
00:13:02,548 --> 00:13:03,572
I see.

279
00:13:03,849 --> 00:13:05,043
Are you...
Is he serious?

280
00:13:05,151 --> 00:13:07,016
You can call me
a cracker.

281
00:13:08,220 --> 00:13:09,414
I don't want to.
I just want...

282
00:13:09,488 --> 00:13:10,648
Let me say it.

283
00:13:11,824 --> 00:13:15,225
If you say it, I'm going to
punch you in your face.

284
00:13:18,631 --> 00:13:19,689
Anyway...
Wow.

285
00:13:19,765 --> 00:13:21,528
Maybe later things
get a little freaky.

286
00:13:21,600 --> 00:13:25,092
You and the old lady in the
'cuzzi, buck naked, right?

287
00:13:25,171 --> 00:13:27,298
Little Black Mamba's
ready to strike.

288
00:13:27,406 --> 00:13:29,874
That camera will
catch all of it.

289
00:13:29,942 --> 00:13:31,876
Nice! So, all you gotta do, go upstairs,

290
00:13:31,944 --> 00:13:35,573
clickity-clack on the computer,
beat off to the highlights.

291
00:13:35,648 --> 00:13:37,172
Yeah.

292
00:13:37,283 --> 00:13:38,978
Holler!

293
00:13:39,518 --> 00:13:40,985
Holler!

294
00:13:42,521 --> 00:13:43,886
Do it.
No.

295
00:13:43,956 --> 00:13:45,423
Holler!

296
00:13:45,491 --> 00:13:47,425
Are you really gonna
make me do this here?

297
00:13:47,493 --> 00:13:48,482
Camera Guys.

298
00:13:48,561 --> 00:13:49,653
Holler!

299
00:13:50,496 --> 00:13:52,225
Got you all tied in.
Mm-hmm.

300
00:13:53,332 --> 00:13:55,630
Uh, just hit the space bar, the
mouse, you flash from the kitchen.

301
00:13:55,701 --> 00:13:56,725
Mm-hmm?

302
00:13:56,802 --> 00:13:57,791
Entryway.

303
00:13:57,870 --> 00:13:59,565
Backyard.
Living room.

304
00:13:59,872 --> 00:14:01,499
I even tied in the webcam.
Nice.

305
00:14:01,607 --> 00:14:03,370
Yeah. Oh, I like that. That's cool.

306
00:14:03,676 --> 00:14:04,938
Here's something
you wanna think about.

307
00:14:05,010 --> 00:14:07,478
You can remote access these
things from wherever you are.

308
00:14:07,546 --> 00:14:10,447
I can set that up if you want.
Just give me your pass code.

309
00:14:10,516 --> 00:14:12,450
No. Not gonna happen.

310
00:14:12,518 --> 00:14:13,985
Good choice.
Nice try.

311
00:14:14,053 --> 00:14:15,782
But you could set that up
if you want to.

312
00:14:15,855 --> 00:14:17,254
You're out of town
on a business trip,

313
00:14:17,323 --> 00:14:18,551
you might wanna
check up on the missus,

314
00:14:18,657 --> 00:14:19,851
make sure she's safe.

315
00:14:19,925 --> 00:14:21,187
Right.

316
00:14:21,293 --> 00:14:22,851
Or whatever she's doing!
Yeah.

317
00:14:22,928 --> 00:14:24,828
You know,
girls, they like to have

318
00:14:24,897 --> 00:14:27,661
a girls' time when
you're out of town.

319
00:14:27,733 --> 00:14:28,859
And why wouldn't they,
you know?

320
00:14:28,968 --> 00:14:30,526
You don't
expect things like...

321
00:14:31,670 --> 00:14:34,867
You know, she's spread eagle on
the floor, banging the mailman.

322
00:14:34,940 --> 00:14:36,635
"Special delivery!"

323
00:14:36,709 --> 00:14:38,040
Not on our bed!

324
00:14:39,178 --> 00:14:40,702
You dirty bird!

325
00:14:40,813 --> 00:14:42,508
In front of the dog!
Is he serious?

326
00:14:42,581 --> 00:14:44,742
Oh, the dog's so upset!

327
00:14:45,317 --> 00:14:46,784
I mean, you know,

328
00:14:46,852 --> 00:14:49,650
you're at a security
convention in Albuquerque

329
00:14:49,722 --> 00:14:52,350
screaming at the top of
your lungs at a Quality Inn!

330
00:14:52,424 --> 00:14:54,016
I remember Albuquerque.

331
00:14:54,093 --> 00:14:56,926
You can't scratch your way
through the camera!

332
00:14:57,529 --> 00:14:59,827
Kinda reminds me,
I gotta mail out some bills

333
00:14:59,899 --> 00:15:00,991
before the
end of the month.

334
00:15:01,166 --> 00:15:03,293
Uh, it's okay, man.
It's okay.

335
00:15:03,369 --> 00:15:05,667
Bobby, you better not
be recording.

336
00:15:05,871 --> 00:15:07,361
Uh, Bobby? Yeah, I got the whole thing.

337
00:15:07,439 --> 00:15:08,428
Don't do this shit
in my house.

338
00:15:09,742 --> 00:15:12,575
It's okay. Okay.
All right. I understand.

339
00:15:12,645 --> 00:15:13,669
Okay.

340
00:15:14,780 --> 00:15:16,839
Why are you installing all
these security cameras anyway?

341
00:15:17,249 --> 00:15:18,409
Uh, we may have
a burglar.

342
00:15:18,484 --> 00:15:19,542
Or a ghost.

343
00:15:19,618 --> 00:15:20,778
A burglar.
Ghost.

344
00:15:20,853 --> 00:15:21,979
Burglar.
Ghost!

345
00:15:22,054 --> 00:15:24,545
Well, it just so happens I have
my own ghost hunter reality show.

346
00:15:24,623 --> 00:15:25,647
Do you wanna know
what it's called?

347
00:15:25,724 --> 00:15:27,521
I got one, too.

348
00:15:27,593 --> 00:15:29,322
<i>Wild guess, American Ghost?</i>

349
00:15:29,428 --> 00:15:30,986
<i>Wrong!
Ghost Guys.</i>

350
00:15:31,096 --> 00:15:32,120
Oh!

351
00:15:32,197 --> 00:15:33,960
It is trademarked, so
don't get any funny ideas.

352
00:15:34,033 --> 00:15:35,864
I definitely won't.
All right. See ya.

353
00:15:36,035 --> 00:15:38,060
Yeah! You know they're
shooting porn in there.

354
00:15:38,170 --> 00:15:40,001
Really?
No way he owns it.

355
00:15:42,708 --> 00:15:44,369
Malcolm, what is that?

356
00:15:45,044 --> 00:15:46,841
Well, I paid those
camera guys all this money

357
00:15:46,912 --> 00:15:49,574
and they left a big-ass
blind spot inside the hallway.

358
00:15:50,316 --> 00:15:54,446
So you decided to break my fan
and rig up this ridiculous camera?

359
00:15:54,787 --> 00:15:55,879
Yep.

360
00:15:56,722 --> 00:15:58,485
Call me "Nigyver. "

361
00:15:58,557 --> 00:15:59,615
Wow.

362
00:16:02,461 --> 00:16:04,588
Cool. All right, baby. Come on.

363
00:16:04,697 --> 00:16:06,426
All right.
All right.

364
00:16:06,699 --> 00:16:08,758
I'm so hungry.
Me, too. Starving.

365
00:16:08,867 --> 00:16:10,630
Okay, Rosa.
We're leaving.

366
00:16:10,736 --> 00:16:12,601
<i>Buenas tardes, senores.
Okay.</i>

367
00:16:26,652 --> 00:16:28,677
It's crazy, right?

368
00:16:30,055 --> 00:16:32,888
These stupid motherfuckers
don't think I speak English!

369
00:16:32,958 --> 00:16:34,892
Hmm.

370
00:16:34,960 --> 00:16:37,428
Yo, I got a nice pool.
You want to come on down?

371
00:16:37,629 --> 00:16:39,290
Yeah, we got a Jacuzzi.

372
00:16:48,307 --> 00:16:50,104
<i>Que pasa?</i>

373
00:16:53,012 --> 00:16:55,071
<i>Ay, Dios mio!</i>

374
00:17:03,122 --> 00:17:05,181
<i>Whoo! Dios mio!</i>

375
00:17:05,290 --> 00:17:07,952
Whoo!

376
00:17:10,763 --> 00:17:12,287
Hey, Rosa. We're back.

377
00:17:12,965 --> 00:17:14,455
<i>Hola!</i>

378
00:17:17,036 --> 00:17:20,199
Ah!

379
00:17:20,305 --> 00:17:22,102
<i>Si!
Yo tambien.</i>

380
00:17:22,174 --> 00:17:23,698
I don't know
what you saying.

381
00:17:23,809 --> 00:17:25,299
Mm-hmm!

382
00:17:27,813 --> 00:17:29,781
Baby!
What?

383
00:17:29,848 --> 00:17:31,338
Look at how
she's swimming.

384
00:17:31,450 --> 00:17:33,145
Hey, Steve. Steve, look. Check this out.

385
00:17:33,218 --> 00:17:34,242
Black girl don't like
getting her hair wet.

386
00:17:34,653 --> 00:17:37,451
Hey, hey, hey!
Malcolm, cut that shit out!

387
00:17:37,556 --> 00:17:39,456
Just
got my hair did. You know that.

388
00:17:40,159 --> 00:17:41,148
Don't play with me.

389
00:17:41,226 --> 00:17:42,386
You're looking
good over there, baby.

390
00:17:42,461 --> 00:17:43,951
Hey, show us your tits.
What?

391
00:17:44,029 --> 00:17:45,155
Show us your tits!

392
00:17:45,631 --> 00:17:47,724
Whoa, whoa.
No, no, no, no, no!

393
00:17:47,800 --> 00:17:49,131
I knew she would do it.

394
00:17:51,136 --> 00:17:52,160
You like that?

395
00:17:52,237 --> 00:17:53,499
No, no. That was awkward.

396
00:17:53,572 --> 00:17:54,971
Oh, yeah? But did you
like it a little bit?

397
00:17:55,040 --> 00:17:56,302
They're cockeyed.

398
00:17:56,375 --> 00:17:58,536
Yeah, I know. One's
bigger than the other one.

399
00:17:58,644 --> 00:17:59,736
That way you can
have a favorite.

400
00:17:59,978 --> 00:18:01,502
Baby?

401
00:18:01,580 --> 00:18:04,811
No!
Whoo!

402
00:18:04,883 --> 00:18:06,851
Your head's
gonna get pregnant!

403
00:18:06,919 --> 00:18:08,181
Let's do reverse.

404
00:18:13,759 --> 00:18:16,227
Wow, man, I am loving
this camera of yours.

405
00:18:16,328 --> 00:18:17,352
This is really cool.

406
00:18:17,429 --> 00:18:18,691
Thanks, man.
Oh, boy.

407
00:18:18,764 --> 00:18:21,562
I bet you're shooting all kinds of
extracurricular activities with this camera.

408
00:18:21,667 --> 00:18:22,691
Actually, I'm not.

409
00:18:22,768 --> 00:18:23,757
You aren't?

410
00:18:23,869 --> 00:18:25,029
None.
You're not?

411
00:18:25,104 --> 00:18:27,038
You know, ever since
Kisha moved in,

412
00:18:27,106 --> 00:18:28,664
I haven't seen
no parts of the vagina.

413
00:18:29,108 --> 00:18:30,769
No!
It's like she moved in,

414
00:18:30,843 --> 00:18:32,435
and her vagina
moved out the same day.

415
00:18:32,511 --> 00:18:33,944
You gotta be kidding me!
Yeah.

416
00:18:34,012 --> 00:18:35,445
That makes me angry.

417
00:18:35,514 --> 00:18:36,845
Not as angry as
it makes my penis.

418
00:18:36,949 --> 00:18:39,110
Well, I am angry
for your penis.

419
00:18:39,184 --> 00:18:40,515
Mr. Happy is
not so happy.

420
00:18:40,619 --> 00:18:42,018
Oh, that's infuriating.

421
00:18:42,087 --> 00:18:43,247
Yeah, man.
Yeah, man.

422
00:18:43,322 --> 00:18:44,880
It makes me very upset
to hear that.

423
00:18:44,957 --> 00:18:46,185
But you know, there
is something you can do

424
00:18:46,291 --> 00:18:47,349
to spice it up
if you want to.

425
00:18:47,459 --> 00:18:48,448
Really?
Oh, yeah.

426
00:18:48,527 --> 00:18:49,619
What?

427
00:18:49,695 --> 00:18:51,219
Well, you know how, like,

428
00:18:51,330 --> 00:18:53,025
if you get tired
of driving your car,

429
00:18:53,132 --> 00:18:54,565
you might
test-drive a new car?

430
00:18:54,633 --> 00:18:55,622
Mm-hmm.

431
00:18:55,734 --> 00:18:57,258
Maybe you would
even let somebody else

432
00:18:57,336 --> 00:18:59,736
drive your car for a
little while, you know?

433
00:18:59,838 --> 00:19:02,830
Get a whole new appreciation of
your vehicle when you do that.

434
00:19:03,709 --> 00:19:06,303
Are you talking about
swapping girlfriends?

435
00:19:06,378 --> 00:19:08,744
What? No!
Excuse me?

436
00:19:08,847 --> 00:19:10,007
Oh, wow!

437
00:19:10,182 --> 00:19:12,116
I don't know where you were
goin' with that! Oh, wow!

438
00:19:12,451 --> 00:19:13,543
I was talking about cars!

439
00:19:13,619 --> 00:19:14,677
My bad.

440
00:19:15,487 --> 00:19:16,852
You would never do it?

441
00:19:16,922 --> 00:19:18,822
I would absolutely
never do it.

442
00:19:18,891 --> 00:19:20,358
Me neither.
Me neither.

443
00:19:20,492 --> 00:19:23,427
What kind of pervert
does that?

444
00:19:23,529 --> 00:19:24,621
That's what you
would have to be.

445
00:19:24,696 --> 00:19:26,254
It takes a pervert
to swap girlfriends.

446
00:19:26,365 --> 00:19:28,560
You never have done it,
and you never would, huh?

447
00:19:28,634 --> 00:19:29,658
No, Steve.

448
00:19:29,735 --> 00:19:32,465
Even if you got drunk enough
or something like that?

449
00:19:32,538 --> 00:19:34,369
Like, you might have a few
too many drinks and say,

450
00:19:34,439 --> 00:19:35,565
"Why not?
Let's give it a try,"

451
00:19:35,641 --> 00:19:38,132
if there was a couple
that was into it.

452
00:19:38,243 --> 00:19:39,574
No.
No. Yeah, me neither.

453
00:19:39,645 --> 00:19:40,634
That's how I feel.

454
00:19:40,746 --> 00:19:43,078
But even, like, maybe
if you got a little high,

455
00:19:43,148 --> 00:19:44,945
maybe on a Saturday night
or something like that,

456
00:19:45,017 --> 00:19:46,348
and you were like...

457
00:19:46,418 --> 00:19:47,510
Even then.

458
00:19:47,586 --> 00:19:50,111
Yeah. Like, even if
this couple was, like,

459
00:19:50,189 --> 00:19:52,180
up for anything
and raring to go,

460
00:19:52,257 --> 00:19:56,284
and she was hot to trot,
like, a hot, hot lady.

461
00:19:56,361 --> 00:19:58,591
It wouldn't matter.
You wouldn't do it, right?

462
00:19:58,664 --> 00:20:00,962
Nigger, no.

463
00:20:01,033 --> 00:20:03,627
Same here.
We're in agreement.

464
00:20:03,702 --> 00:20:06,364
It's crazy to swap
girlfriends like that.

465
00:20:06,471 --> 00:20:09,463
I am with you 100%.

466
00:20:10,275 --> 00:20:12,072
Steve, want a beer?

467
00:20:12,144 --> 00:20:13,270
Thank you very much.

468
00:20:13,345 --> 00:20:16,007
Hey, babe, did you
tell Steve we have a ghost?

469
00:20:16,114 --> 00:20:17,138
We don't have a ghost.
A ghost?

470
00:20:17,216 --> 00:20:18,774
Yeah.
Awesome.

471
00:20:18,850 --> 00:20:19,942
I think it'd be
cool to have a ghost.

472
00:20:20,018 --> 00:20:21,007
We don't have a ghost.

473
00:20:21,119 --> 00:20:22,279
No, Jenny, it's not cool.

474
00:20:22,354 --> 00:20:23,446
We don't have a ghost.

475
00:20:23,522 --> 00:20:25,547
You thought it
was cool in college.

476
00:20:25,657 --> 00:20:27,284
We did a seance
and everything!

477
00:20:27,359 --> 00:20:29,224
A seance?
Oh, yeah. That's right.

478
00:20:29,328 --> 00:20:30,317
You did a seance?

479
00:20:30,395 --> 00:20:31,885
Yes.
Honey, it's college.

480
00:20:31,997 --> 00:20:33,089
You do a lot of silly stuff.

481
00:20:33,165 --> 00:20:34,189
Yeah.

482
00:20:34,299 --> 00:20:36,290
Like that time we
got drunk and made out.

483
00:20:36,368 --> 00:20:38,461
Oh, it's all hazy.

484
00:20:38,537 --> 00:20:39,731
You know, college,
it's like a big fog.

485
00:20:39,838 --> 00:20:41,396
We're gonna talk
about these college days.

486
00:20:41,506 --> 00:20:42,495
Yeah, yeah.

487
00:20:42,574 --> 00:20:44,701
A hazy, sexy fog,
it sounds like.

488
00:20:44,810 --> 00:20:47,335
Wouldn't it be great if we
all spent the night? Together?

489
00:20:47,412 --> 00:20:48,470
Well, that's an
interesting idea.

490
00:20:48,547 --> 00:20:49,741
What do you think
of that, Malcolm?

491
00:20:49,848 --> 00:20:51,543
A naked sleepover?
No.

492
00:20:51,650 --> 00:20:52,878
No?
It's weird.

493
00:20:52,985 --> 00:20:54,350
Yeah, but it's definitely
gonna be weird.

494
00:20:54,419 --> 00:20:56,887
But are you saying
weird good or weird bad?

495
00:20:56,989 --> 00:20:58,149
Weird bad, Steve.

496
00:20:58,223 --> 00:20:59,349
Okay.

497
00:21:00,025 --> 00:21:01,549
All right, you guys.
It's been real.

498
00:21:01,660 --> 00:21:04,527
Listen, I know a great
psychic if you need one.

499
00:21:04,596 --> 00:21:05,620
Okay.

500
00:21:05,697 --> 00:21:06,891
He told me
I'd be surrounded

501
00:21:06,999 --> 00:21:10,594
by big, black spirits
in my near future.

502
00:21:11,737 --> 00:21:12,863
Vaginas crossed.

503
00:21:12,938 --> 00:21:15,372
Yeah, okay.
Right? Goodbye!

504
00:21:15,974 --> 00:21:17,168
Well.

505
00:21:17,242 --> 00:21:19,403
Listen, before we go, I just
wanna talk to you about something,

506
00:21:19,511 --> 00:21:20,910
'cause Jenny's got
a birthday coming up.

507
00:21:21,013 --> 00:21:22,002
Okay.

508
00:21:22,080 --> 00:21:23,775
I wanna do something real
special for her, you know.

509
00:21:23,882 --> 00:21:26,043
I was thinking maybe you could
invite a couple of guys over,

510
00:21:26,118 --> 00:21:27,710
like your cousin Ray-Ray,
maybe?

511
00:21:27,786 --> 00:21:28,878
And some of
those big, black guys

512
00:21:28,954 --> 00:21:30,444
that he hangs out with,
you know?

513
00:21:30,555 --> 00:21:32,887
Jamal, and Hakim,
and Anforny, you know?

514
00:21:32,958 --> 00:21:35,927
Just the six of us, right?
We'll have some fun.

515
00:21:36,028 --> 00:21:38,019
We'll double stuff
the Oreo a little bit, huh?

516
00:21:38,397 --> 00:21:39,796
Dirty up the white snow?

517
00:21:39,898 --> 00:21:41,365
Black poles, white holes.

518
00:21:41,433 --> 00:21:44,266
You know, maybe all pile on the
little white rabbit, right, you know?

519
00:21:44,369 --> 00:21:46,599
Are you talking
about a mandingo party?

520
00:21:46,705 --> 00:21:48,468
What? A what?

521
00:21:48,573 --> 00:21:50,302
Excuse me!

522
00:21:50,876 --> 00:21:53,572
I mean, I'm really, uh, not into
that. But if you're into that...

523
00:21:53,645 --> 00:21:54,771
Um, I'm...

524
00:21:54,880 --> 00:21:56,438
Well, we might be able
to work something out

525
00:21:56,548 --> 00:21:57,537
if that's what you're into.

526
00:21:57,616 --> 00:21:59,277
Hey, buddy, I mean...
Okay, bye, Steve.

527
00:21:59,484 --> 00:22:00,508
Oh!

528
00:22:00,585 --> 00:22:02,177
Oh, wow.

529
00:22:02,387 --> 00:22:03,411
That's beautiful.
Okay, Jenny.

530
00:22:03,488 --> 00:22:04,512
All right. Goodbye.

531
00:22:04,589 --> 00:22:05,988
Okay, honey, come on.
Come on, honey, come in.

532
00:22:06,091 --> 00:22:07,820
You're lucky.

533
00:22:07,926 --> 00:22:09,257
She is luckier.

534
00:22:09,328 --> 00:22:10,989
Bye, guys. Bye!
All right.

535
00:22:11,530 --> 00:22:13,964
Okay. All right.

536
00:22:14,966 --> 00:22:16,991
I think Jenny
and Steve are swingers.

537
00:22:17,102 --> 00:22:18,592
You think? Wow.

538
00:22:18,670 --> 00:22:20,262
This looks like
a ghetto Rite Aid.

539
00:22:20,339 --> 00:22:21,567
Wrong Aid.

540
00:22:21,640 --> 00:22:23,904
Oh, shit!
Did somebody shave a yeti?

541
00:22:23,975 --> 00:22:25,840
Very funny.
I shaved my legs.

542
00:22:25,911 --> 00:22:27,572
With what,
a weed whacker?

543
00:22:27,646 --> 00:22:30,080
Wow. That's like
Apollo Creed's chest hairs.

544
00:22:30,148 --> 00:22:31,172
That is crazy.

545
00:22:31,783 --> 00:22:34,047
Oh! Hey!
Malcolm, come on!

546
00:22:34,119 --> 00:22:36,485
Dude, turn that off.
Get out of here.

547
00:22:36,588 --> 00:22:38,078
You got to close this.
Stop it!

548
00:22:38,156 --> 00:22:39,680
I'm claustrophobic, okay?

549
00:22:39,791 --> 00:22:41,315
Yeah? Well,
I'm ass-trophobic.

550
00:22:41,426 --> 00:22:42,916
You know what, Malcolm?
What?

551
00:22:42,994 --> 00:22:45,519
Love it or leave it, okay?
Here. Here.

552
00:22:45,697 --> 00:22:47,324
Take it, okay?

553
00:22:47,499 --> 00:22:48,898
It's oak-y.

554
00:22:48,967 --> 00:22:51,094
It's... It's full-bodied.

555
00:22:51,937 --> 00:22:52,961
I believe it's open.

556
00:22:53,038 --> 00:22:54,130
Oh, that's...
That's nasty!

557
00:22:54,206 --> 00:22:55,673
Mmm. The aroma.

558
00:22:55,774 --> 00:22:56,866
The nastiest thing ever.

559
00:22:56,942 --> 00:22:58,102
No, Malcolm! Malcolm!

560
00:22:58,176 --> 00:22:59,643
Hey! No!

561
00:22:59,711 --> 00:23:01,372
Move your little nasty foot. Stop it!

562
00:23:01,546 --> 00:23:03,411
Ow! Ow! Malcolm!

563
00:23:19,164 --> 00:23:21,655
Uh, Malcolm. Malcolm?
Hmm?

564
00:23:21,733 --> 00:23:23,166
The camera isn't off.

565
00:23:23,235 --> 00:23:25,328
Yeah, the camera's off.
What are you talkin' about?

566
00:23:25,404 --> 00:23:26,530
The light is on.

567
00:23:26,605 --> 00:23:27,697
That's the standby light.

568
00:23:27,806 --> 00:23:29,671
That's the record light.

569
00:23:29,741 --> 00:23:31,902
I don't want to be
like those stupid girls.

570
00:23:31,977 --> 00:23:34,309
Kim Kardashian
with a sex tape.

571
00:23:34,379 --> 00:23:37,075
First of all, Kim Kardashian's
worth $150 million.

572
00:23:37,149 --> 00:23:39,481
Think about it, Kisha. You
could have your own reality show.

573
00:23:39,551 --> 00:23:42,213
You could have your own
clothing line, your own perfume.

574
00:23:42,320 --> 00:23:44,880
"Stank," by Kisha.

575
00:23:44,990 --> 00:23:46,150
No.

576
00:23:46,224 --> 00:23:48,658
Your window of opportunity
is closing quickly.

577
00:23:48,727 --> 00:23:49,921
Turn it off.

578
00:23:49,995 --> 00:23:51,121
Oh, God,
you are a hater.

579
00:23:51,196 --> 00:23:52,561
I'm not.

580
00:23:57,235 --> 00:24:00,398
Malcolm. You ain't slick.
That camera's still on.

581
00:24:00,505 --> 00:24:02,530
What?
"What?"

582
00:24:02,707 --> 00:24:04,106
That's cheap.

583
00:24:07,145 --> 00:24:09,739
Whoo! Whoo!

584
00:24:09,881 --> 00:24:11,872
Don't touch it.

585
00:24:11,950 --> 00:24:13,508
Don't touch it.
That was crazy.

586
00:24:13,585 --> 00:24:14,711
Oh, I got a cramp.

587
00:24:14,786 --> 00:24:17,220
I told you we should
have recorded that.

588
00:24:17,289 --> 00:24:19,223
I don't think they
make 30-second tapes.

589
00:24:19,291 --> 00:24:23,421
Oh, come on. That was at least
two minutes, 15, 16 seconds.

590
00:24:23,528 --> 00:24:25,018
Whoo! That was great.

591
00:24:25,096 --> 00:24:26,859
Malcolm, you know
we have to go again, right?

592
00:24:26,932 --> 00:24:30,231
I need a halftime.
You gotta talk to the coach.

593
00:24:30,302 --> 00:24:31,599
Get some new plays.

594
00:24:34,940 --> 00:24:36,908
Wake up.
Okay, okay.

595
00:24:36,975 --> 00:24:37,999
Come on now.

596
00:24:38,076 --> 00:24:39,202
Okay, okay.

597
00:24:39,277 --> 00:24:40,904
Woody's sore.
Mmm.

598
00:24:43,915 --> 00:24:44,973
Yeah.

599
00:24:46,151 --> 00:24:48,142
Good morning, honey.

600
00:24:48,253 --> 00:24:49,982
Hi, baby.
Mwah.

601
00:24:51,189 --> 00:24:53,749
Malcolm, I told you
to turn the camera off!

602
00:24:54,793 --> 00:24:56,784
I know. I'm shit.

603
00:24:56,895 --> 00:24:59,420
But, baby, I was tearin'
it up last night.

604
00:24:59,498 --> 00:25:00,692
Oh, please.
You were all right.

605
00:25:00,832 --> 00:25:02,060
Baby, check this move.
Look at that.

606
00:25:02,133 --> 00:25:03,623
Malcolm, I need you
to erase this tape.

607
00:25:03,735 --> 00:25:05,566
I don't wanna end
up on the Internet.

608
00:25:05,637 --> 00:25:06,899
Whoa, whoa, whoa,
whoa, whoa, whoa.

609
00:25:06,972 --> 00:25:08,269
Rewind the video.

610
00:25:08,340 --> 00:25:09,602
Okay.

611
00:25:10,175 --> 00:25:11,608
Did you see that?
Uh-huh.

612
00:25:11,676 --> 00:25:12,904
See, I call that move
the Tornado.

613
00:25:13,144 --> 00:25:14,406
No, stupid!

614
00:25:14,479 --> 00:25:17,642
Look! The door, it moved.
You see?

615
00:25:17,749 --> 00:25:19,046
Oh, wow.

616
00:25:19,551 --> 00:25:22,384
Well, there is a rational
explanation for all that.

617
00:25:22,454 --> 00:25:24,649
See, what happens is,
with the Tornado, right,

618
00:25:24,756 --> 00:25:27,452
the vortex in
which I move my hips,

619
00:25:27,526 --> 00:25:29,084
especially with
a downward motion,

620
00:25:29,160 --> 00:25:30,923
it creates that vortex.

621
00:25:30,996 --> 00:25:32,293
I'm surprised the
windows didn't blow open.

622
00:25:32,364 --> 00:25:34,195
You are stupid.
Sometimes it does that.

623
00:25:34,332 --> 00:25:37,062
See, I'm working on a whole natural
disaster theme for me and you.

624
00:25:37,469 --> 00:25:39,300
We gonna start with
the Mudslide tonight.

625
00:25:39,371 --> 00:25:41,498
Or the Earthquake.
Earthquake is crazy!

626
00:25:41,606 --> 00:25:45,064
'Cause I just get in and I shake up
in there, fast as I can. I just shake.

627
00:25:56,521 --> 00:25:57,920
Malcolm!

628
00:25:57,989 --> 00:25:59,013
Malcolm, come here,
please!

629
00:25:59,090 --> 00:26:00,079
Quick! What happened? What happened?

630
00:26:00,759 --> 00:26:04,388
Okay, so the glass was on
the counter, and then it...

631
00:26:04,563 --> 00:26:06,724
Something knocked it off!

632
00:26:06,831 --> 00:26:08,196
How do you explain that?

633
00:26:08,500 --> 00:26:09,728
Well, maybe you put it
on the edge of the counter,

634
00:26:09,801 --> 00:26:10,825
and it just slipped off.

635
00:26:11,703 --> 00:26:14,365
Last night,
it was the door, Malcolm.

636
00:26:14,472 --> 00:26:17,669
And then, this morning,
the pot was on the floor.

637
00:26:17,909 --> 00:26:20,002
Maybe it wasn't put
on the rack properly.

638
00:26:20,078 --> 00:26:22,842
All right, I'll take credit for
that. Lord knows you don't cook.

639
00:26:22,914 --> 00:26:24,541
Oh, I love you, but stop.
Be careful.

640
00:26:24,649 --> 00:26:25,741
You're gonna get
glass in your foot

641
00:26:25,817 --> 00:26:27,079
and be trackin' blood
all through the house

642
00:26:27,152 --> 00:26:28,585
<i>like Bruce Willis
in Die Hard.</i>

643
00:26:32,357 --> 00:26:34,882
Do you believe
me now, Malcolm? Hmm?

644
00:26:34,993 --> 00:26:38,554
Maybe it was your vortex.

645
00:26:38,663 --> 00:26:39,960
Oh, God.

646
00:26:52,944 --> 00:26:54,411
Did you hear that?

647
00:26:54,512 --> 00:26:56,036
Nope.
What?

648
00:26:59,017 --> 00:27:00,348
What about that?

649
00:27:00,418 --> 00:27:02,249
That was just
the house settling.

650
00:27:02,354 --> 00:27:03,844
No big thing.
Just go back to sleep.

651
00:27:03,922 --> 00:27:05,890
Go back to sleep?

652
00:27:08,927 --> 00:27:10,861
The wind?
What?

653
00:27:10,929 --> 00:27:13,090
Negro, the windows
are closed!

654
00:27:13,598 --> 00:27:15,998
Oh, hell, no! I'm out!

655
00:27:16,067 --> 00:27:17,159
What? Malcolm!

656
00:27:19,070 --> 00:27:20,128
Malcolm!

657
00:27:29,714 --> 00:27:31,579
Really?

658
00:27:32,450 --> 00:27:33,508
Oh, hell, no.

659
00:27:33,585 --> 00:27:36,145
Malcolm, what are
you doing?

660
00:27:36,221 --> 00:27:39,247
Bitch, there is a ghost
in the house. I'm out.

661
00:27:39,324 --> 00:27:40,416
You can't leave.

662
00:27:40,492 --> 00:27:41,516
You watch me.

663
00:27:43,094 --> 00:27:44,186
Deuces.

664
00:27:46,498 --> 00:27:47,692
Malcolm!

665
00:27:52,003 --> 00:27:53,470
You all right?
Who am I kidding?

666
00:27:55,440 --> 00:27:57,169
I can't sell a house
in this market.

667
00:27:58,109 --> 00:27:59,542
"Immediate possession. "

668
00:28:00,879 --> 00:28:02,107
It's already possessed!

669
00:28:07,519 --> 00:28:09,987
Hi, Chip. I'm Kisha. Hi.

670
00:28:10,088 --> 00:28:11,521
Hi, I'm Chip the Psychic.

671
00:28:11,589 --> 00:28:12,613
Come on in.

672
00:28:12,691 --> 00:28:14,682
Nice. Nice.

673
00:28:16,628 --> 00:28:18,118
Oh!

674
00:28:18,196 --> 00:28:21,825
And you...
You must be Malcolm.

675
00:28:22,534 --> 00:28:24,297
Mmm, yeah. That's pretty
good. How did you know?

676
00:28:24,369 --> 00:28:25,393
Uh, psychic.

677
00:28:25,470 --> 00:28:26,664
See?

678
00:28:26,771 --> 00:28:29,331
I have a lot of powers
all over my body.

679
00:28:29,441 --> 00:28:32,035
Do you... You play basketball,
probably, a little bit, right?

680
00:28:32,143 --> 00:28:33,701
No, not really.
You don't?

681
00:28:33,778 --> 00:28:35,473
No. Well, you got the body for it.

682
00:28:36,047 --> 00:28:37,776
You're lucky.

683
00:28:37,849 --> 00:28:39,282
You're a lucky, lucky lady.

684
00:28:39,651 --> 00:28:41,812
I'm gonna ask you
some questions.

685
00:28:41,886 --> 00:28:45,014
You know, nothing cray.
Just real simple stuff.

686
00:28:45,123 --> 00:28:46,613
Okay, how long have
you guys been together?

687
00:28:46,691 --> 00:28:47,715
Two years.
Yes.

688
00:28:47,826 --> 00:28:49,521
Okay, Malcolm, are you happy? Yes.

689
00:28:49,627 --> 00:28:50,889
Do you like living with her? Yes.

690
00:28:50,995 --> 00:28:52,462
Have you been with a man? No.

691
00:28:52,530 --> 00:28:54,191
Did you have a good Halloween? Yes.

692
00:28:54,265 --> 00:28:55,664
Did you have a good Christmas? Yes.

693
00:28:55,734 --> 00:28:57,031
Do you like movies?
Yeah.

694
00:28:57,102 --> 00:28:58,126
Have you
been with a man?

695
00:28:58,203 --> 00:28:59,602
Yeah...
No. What? No!

696
00:28:59,671 --> 00:29:01,138
Did you have a good Easter? Yes.

697
00:29:01,206 --> 00:29:02,571
Do you like booze?
Yes.

698
00:29:02,674 --> 00:29:04,073
Do you eat food every day? Yes.

699
00:29:04,175 --> 00:29:05,164
Have you
been with a man?

700
00:29:05,243 --> 00:29:06,301
Yes. No, no!

701
00:29:06,377 --> 00:29:07,810
I've never been with a man.

702
00:29:07,879 --> 00:29:09,904
Okay, I'm just asking 'cause I'm
just trying to get to know you.

703
00:29:09,981 --> 00:29:12,211
I've never been with a man.
I've never been with a man.

704
00:29:12,317 --> 00:29:14,080
I've never been with a man.
Would you stop being so...

705
00:29:14,185 --> 00:29:15,174
I've never been
with a man!

706
00:29:15,253 --> 00:29:16,242
Okay!

707
00:29:16,321 --> 00:29:17,720
You don't have to
be loud and angry.

708
00:29:17,789 --> 00:29:18,813
I've never
been with a man!

709
00:29:18,890 --> 00:29:20,414
He keeps asking me if
I've been with a man!

710
00:29:20,525 --> 00:29:21,549
I've never
been with a man!

711
00:29:21,626 --> 00:29:22,615
Okay.

712
00:29:22,694 --> 00:29:24,355
I'm trying to get to know you.
Have you been with a man?

713
00:29:24,496 --> 00:29:25,690
I sleep on this
side of the bed.

714
00:29:25,764 --> 00:29:26,753
Right.

715
00:29:26,831 --> 00:29:28,662
She sleeps there.
Ick.

716
00:29:28,733 --> 00:29:31,327
And, you know, we keep
the camera right there.

717
00:29:31,402 --> 00:29:34,735
And one night, we saw the
door kind ofjust, like...

718
00:29:35,940 --> 00:29:38,033
Oh, wow. So there was
some paranormal over there.

719
00:29:38,109 --> 00:29:39,872
No, she thinks
it's paranormal,

720
00:29:39,944 --> 00:29:42,037
and I think it's
'cause of the Tornado.

721
00:29:42,113 --> 00:29:43,740
'Cause I created a vortex.

722
00:29:43,815 --> 00:29:45,407
What does that mean?

723
00:29:45,517 --> 00:29:47,348
We was havin' sex,
and I was hittin' it.

724
00:29:47,418 --> 00:29:48,715
I was like...

725
00:29:49,521 --> 00:29:51,955
I was doing this round,
and I think the...

726
00:29:52,056 --> 00:29:54,115
Hey, hey, hey!
Hey, hey, hey.

727
00:29:54,225 --> 00:29:56,159
Hey, you okay?
Yeah, sorry.

728
00:29:56,227 --> 00:29:57,216
You all right?

729
00:29:57,295 --> 00:29:58,319
I got light-headed
there for a second.

730
00:29:58,396 --> 00:30:00,023
Okay. All right.
Yeah, no, I'm good.

731
00:30:00,098 --> 00:30:02,692
Check out the door.
You know what?

732
00:30:02,767 --> 00:30:04,166
There is some dark
energy over here.

733
00:30:04,235 --> 00:30:05,224
Really?

734
00:30:05,303 --> 00:30:07,203
Yeah. Wow, that's crazy.

735
00:30:07,272 --> 00:30:09,570
I didn't even... Oh!

736
00:30:09,641 --> 00:30:10,699
We got a ghost.

737
00:30:10,775 --> 00:30:11,799
Oh, my God,
it's got me!

738
00:30:11,910 --> 00:30:14,538
It's got me!
It's got me!

739
00:30:14,612 --> 00:30:16,477
It's got me!
Help! Help!

740
00:30:16,581 --> 00:30:18,572
Hey, man!
Get off of me!

741
00:30:18,650 --> 00:30:21,551
Oh, man!
Get off of me.

742
00:30:21,619 --> 00:30:23,587
What are you doing?

743
00:30:23,655 --> 00:30:25,623
I don't know
what just happened.

744
00:30:25,723 --> 00:30:26,815
That was so scary.

745
00:30:27,292 --> 00:30:29,817
Okay, you guys. This is a
simple channeling exercise.

746
00:30:29,928 --> 00:30:31,293
Okay.

747
00:30:31,396 --> 00:30:33,455
This is creepy.
Shh.

748
00:30:33,531 --> 00:30:36,557
All right, Kisha, now
just breathe. Relax.

749
00:30:36,634 --> 00:30:38,966
Do you feel anything?

750
00:30:39,070 --> 00:30:40,560
No, not really.

751
00:30:40,638 --> 00:30:42,629
What about you, Malcolm?

752
00:30:44,008 --> 00:30:45,566
Just your dick in my back.

753
00:30:47,011 --> 00:30:49,002
Well, that's a start.

754
00:30:50,315 --> 00:30:53,079
Now, there are two kinds
of paranormal entities.

755
00:30:53,151 --> 00:30:56,245
I specialize in
the good ones.

756
00:30:56,321 --> 00:30:58,755
Okay, yeah, like
Casper the Friendly Ghost.

757
00:30:58,890 --> 00:31:01,188
Oh!
Yeah, he's fun.

758
00:31:01,259 --> 00:31:03,625
<i>And also Patrick Swayze
from Ghost.</i>

759
00:31:03,695 --> 00:31:05,458
I love that movie.

760
00:31:05,530 --> 00:31:07,623
Yes, that one was
really moving.

761
00:31:07,699 --> 00:31:10,224
Especially with the clay, and
he'd work the clay and just...

762
00:31:10,435 --> 00:31:12,733
And he just
fuckin' has it, and...

763
00:31:13,438 --> 00:31:16,305
Demons, though, are bad.

764
00:31:17,041 --> 00:31:19,532
Those are pure,
pure, pure evil.

765
00:31:19,644 --> 00:31:22,841
And they will pop up
at the worst possible times.

766
00:31:22,947 --> 00:31:24,938
You know, like herpes.

767
00:31:28,319 --> 00:31:29,650
What?

768
00:31:29,721 --> 00:31:31,313
What are you
looking at me for?

769
00:31:32,657 --> 00:31:36,286
All I'm saying is,
do not aggravate a demon.

770
00:31:36,361 --> 00:31:37,794
Do not try to
contact them,

771
00:31:37,862 --> 00:31:41,195
and whatever you do,
do not film them.

772
00:31:41,466 --> 00:31:42,763
That will only
make things worse.

773
00:31:42,834 --> 00:31:44,995
See? Don't film demons.

774
00:31:45,069 --> 00:31:46,866
Very bad.
Okay.

775
00:31:48,506 --> 00:31:49,905
Well, thanks a lot
for coming out, man.

776
00:31:50,008 --> 00:31:51,270
Is there anything you
wanna get off your chest?

777
00:31:51,843 --> 00:31:53,003
No, I'm good.

778
00:31:53,077 --> 00:31:54,635
Is there anything you
want to put on my chest?

779
00:31:54,779 --> 00:31:56,178
Huh? Wait'll you see the clay scene.

780
00:31:56,247 --> 00:31:57,544
Wait, wait. Uh...

781
00:31:59,250 --> 00:32:00,649
I have a confession
to make.

782
00:32:00,718 --> 00:32:02,185
Yep, herpes!
I knew it.

783
00:32:02,320 --> 00:32:04,686
Oh! Ick!
No, I don't!

784
00:32:05,023 --> 00:32:08,015
But did I mention that I made
a deal with the devil

785
00:32:08,092 --> 00:32:10,060
for a pair of
really cool Louboutins?

786
00:32:10,161 --> 00:32:12,891
You made a deal with the
devil for a pair of shoes?

787
00:32:12,997 --> 00:32:15,932
Not shoes, Malcolm!
Louboutins, okay?

788
00:32:16,034 --> 00:32:19,333
They've got red soles,
and they make my calves pop!

789
00:32:21,406 --> 00:32:23,840
Well, I really
needed them, okay?

790
00:32:23,908 --> 00:32:28,140
You are screwed, sista,

791
00:32:28,212 --> 00:32:29,577
with an "A."

792
00:32:29,681 --> 00:32:33,515
This demon is not leaving this
house until it gets what it wants.

793
00:32:33,584 --> 00:32:35,347
What's that?

794
00:32:35,420 --> 00:32:36,910
Kisha.

795
00:32:38,423 --> 00:32:39,788
You're fine, Malcolm.

796
00:32:39,857 --> 00:32:42,155
Like, you're free to
be whoever you want.

797
00:32:42,460 --> 00:32:43,484
It's a five-man
wrestling league.

798
00:32:43,561 --> 00:32:44,550
I'm good.

799
00:32:44,629 --> 00:32:45,653
It's so fun.

800
00:32:45,730 --> 00:32:46,754
I bet it is.
It's not for me.

801
00:32:46,864 --> 00:32:48,229
And everyone's really good. Really?

802
00:32:48,299 --> 00:32:49,561
Yeah, no,
but it's competitive.

803
00:32:49,634 --> 00:32:51,295
It's something that...

804
00:32:52,236 --> 00:32:54,534
Oh, my God.
I'm getting mind powers.

805
00:32:54,605 --> 00:32:56,596
Okay. All right.
I'm getting mind powers.

806
00:32:56,708 --> 00:33:02,237
Malcolm,
something is going to happen to you

807
00:33:02,313 --> 00:33:04,747
that is going to change you.

808
00:33:05,650 --> 00:33:06,742
Don't fight it.

809
00:33:06,818 --> 00:33:08,251
Whatever it is,
don't fight it, okay?

810
00:33:08,319 --> 00:33:10,310
Okay, I won't. I won't. I can save you.

811
00:33:10,388 --> 00:33:12,117
It's five guys.
We wrestle on Monday.

812
00:33:12,223 --> 00:33:13,247
Okay.

813
00:33:13,324 --> 00:33:15,087
I can save you.
No, thank you.

814
00:33:15,159 --> 00:33:16,649
Save you!

815
00:33:16,761 --> 00:33:17,785
God.

816
00:33:17,862 --> 00:33:19,386
I think that went well.

817
00:33:19,464 --> 00:33:21,261
We need to talk.

818
00:33:21,332 --> 00:33:22,094
A demon, Kisha?

819
00:33:22,533 --> 00:33:24,626
I'm sorry, Malcolm.

820
00:33:24,736 --> 00:33:27,261
Why... Why didn't you tell me
this, like, on the first date?

821
00:33:27,338 --> 00:33:29,431
Because you never would have
gone out with me again.

822
00:33:29,507 --> 00:33:31,168
Exactly!

823
00:33:31,642 --> 00:33:34,076
How long has this
been happening to you?

824
00:33:34,145 --> 00:33:35,806
Since I was a little kid.

825
00:33:35,913 --> 00:33:37,972
What the shit is this?

826
00:33:38,883 --> 00:33:40,180
And you say I tape everything.

827
00:33:40,818 --> 00:33:42,445
Mm. Mm-mm-mm.

828
00:33:50,128 --> 00:33:53,393
<i>Happy birthday, Kisha.
Mama loves you.</i>

829
00:33:53,831 --> 00:33:55,992
<i>Ooh! To think you
almost didn't make it.</i>

830
00:33:56,067 --> 00:33:58,035
<i>But good thing
that clinic was closed.</i>

831
00:33:58,169 --> 00:34:00,501
<i>Ooh! God is good
all the time.</i>

832
00:34:00,738 --> 00:34:03,502
<i>You are eight years old.
Enjoy your birthday.</i>

833
00:34:03,708 --> 00:34:06,541
<i>Sooner or later, you're gonna
come home from school one day.</i>

834
00:34:06,644 --> 00:34:08,134
<i>"Where's stepdaddy?
Where's stepdaddy?"</i>

835
00:34:08,212 --> 00:34:10,180
<i>And I'm gonna be gone.</i>

836
00:34:11,182 --> 00:34:14,049
<i>Happy birthday, Kisha.
Make a wish.</i>

837
00:34:14,152 --> 00:34:15,312
<i>Sit right there.
All right.</i>

838
00:34:15,386 --> 00:34:16,410
<i>Happy birthday to me.</i>

839
00:34:16,521 --> 00:34:19,081
<i>I wish Tony can
stay with me forever.</i>

840
00:34:19,223 --> 00:34:20,383
<i>Who is Tony?</i>

841
00:34:20,491 --> 00:34:22,186
<i>Who is Tony, baby?
He's my friend.</i>

842
00:34:22,260 --> 00:34:23,557
<i>If you have friends,
they'd all be</i>

843
00:34:23,628 --> 00:34:25,425
<i>gathered around here
drinking beer,</i>

844
00:34:25,530 --> 00:34:27,088
<i>smoking cigarettes,
having a good time,</i>

845
00:34:27,198 --> 00:34:28,597
<i>gambling, playing cards and stuff.</i>

846
00:34:28,699 --> 00:34:29,893
<i>She talking about
her invisible friend.</i>

847
00:34:29,967 --> 00:34:31,332
<i>I guess we should be nice about it.</i>

848
00:34:31,402 --> 00:34:33,233
<i>You gonna blow it out? Or you
just gonna look at us crazy?</i>

849
00:34:33,438 --> 00:34:34,837
<i>Dang.
She ain't all there.</i>

850
00:34:34,906 --> 00:34:36,032
<i>Why is she looking at me like that?</i>

851
00:34:36,107 --> 00:34:38,075
<i>Lookin' all crazy.
You crazy.</i>

852
00:34:38,176 --> 00:34:41,509
<i>Look, look, look, look,
look. She got a lazy eye.</i>

853
00:34:42,713 --> 00:34:43,702
<i>Blow them
damn candles out.</i>

854
00:34:43,781 --> 00:34:45,442
<i>Blow 'em out. I wanna get
her blowing out the candles.</i>

855
00:34:45,550 --> 00:34:47,518
<i>I know what I'm doing,
woman. Do not yell at me.</i>

856
00:34:47,585 --> 00:34:48,950
<i>Blow out
the candles, baby.</i>

857
00:34:49,053 --> 00:34:51,180
<i>Tony, no!</i>

858
00:34:53,024 --> 00:34:55,117
<i>You wanna throw cake
on my brand-new Betamax?</i>

859
00:34:55,226 --> 00:34:57,194
<i>You must be crazy!</i>

860
00:34:57,628 --> 00:34:59,152
<i>Ow! It wasn't me.
It was Tony.</i>

861
00:34:59,230 --> 00:35:01,357
<i>I'm-a beat the Tony
out of you then.</i>

862
00:35:01,933 --> 00:35:03,594
<i>Ah, ah, ah.
Lamar, not so hard.</i>

863
00:35:03,668 --> 00:35:04,794
<i>You're gonna
break your new belt.</i>

864
00:35:04,902 --> 00:35:05,926
<i>This is how you
beat a stepchild.</i>

865
00:35:06,037 --> 00:35:07,527
<i>I won't beat my
own kids like this.</i>

866
00:35:07,672 --> 00:35:09,264
<i>I know that's right.</i>

867
00:35:16,080 --> 00:35:18,412
Anything else
you wanna tell me?

868
00:35:18,649 --> 00:35:19,809
Well,

869
00:35:20,151 --> 00:35:21,345
about the herpes.

870
00:35:22,386 --> 00:35:24,251
Baby, what are you doing?
Huh?

871
00:35:24,322 --> 00:35:27,120
Oh, nothing. I'm just...
Just cleaning, that's all.

872
00:35:27,225 --> 00:35:29,056
You ever get that
not-so-fresh feeling?

873
00:35:29,160 --> 00:35:30,218
Seriously, Malcolm?

874
00:35:30,294 --> 00:35:32,626
Seriously, we're gonna
have to talk about your lies.

875
00:35:33,131 --> 00:35:34,723
Oh, that's fizzing.
It's fizzing.

876
00:35:34,966 --> 00:35:36,058
It's herpes, Kisha.

877
00:35:36,134 --> 00:35:38,932
This ain't a cold sore,
Kisha. This is the real thing.

878
00:35:40,004 --> 00:35:42,234
Ah! You did this to me.

879
00:35:42,773 --> 00:35:45,241
Get a match!
Get the goddamn match!

880
00:35:46,577 --> 00:35:49,637
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa!

881
00:35:49,747 --> 00:35:51,180
That hurt. Whoa!

882
00:36:49,507 --> 00:36:50,997
What the hell?

883
00:36:51,175 --> 00:36:52,403
What happened?

884
00:36:53,511 --> 00:36:55,479
Did...

885
00:36:55,546 --> 00:36:57,411
What'd you slap me for?

886
00:36:57,515 --> 00:36:59,005
Was I snoring?

887
00:36:59,417 --> 00:37:00,577
Kisha!

888
00:37:01,152 --> 00:37:02,312
Kisha!

889
00:37:03,921 --> 00:37:04,979
The hell?

890
00:37:05,890 --> 00:37:07,050
Kisha.

891
00:37:07,858 --> 00:37:08,916
Kisha.

892
00:37:09,026 --> 00:37:10,516
What the hell?

893
00:37:11,162 --> 00:37:12,151
Kisha.

894
00:37:12,563 --> 00:37:14,428
Oh, shit!
Kisha, what the...

895
00:37:17,268 --> 00:37:18,735
Kisha, what are you doing?

896
00:37:19,770 --> 00:37:22,261
What? Oh, that is gross.

897
00:37:22,740 --> 00:37:24,765
Wait! No, baby, that
milk is three weeks old.

898
00:37:25,042 --> 00:37:29,775
Oh! Baby.
Baby, what are you doing?

899
00:37:32,283 --> 00:37:35,548
I'll run to the store.
We're out of milk.

900
00:37:36,220 --> 00:37:37,847
I'll be right back.
No, no, you... No, no.

901
00:37:37,922 --> 00:37:39,184
Give me that.

902
00:37:41,525 --> 00:37:43,015
Honey, honey.

903
00:37:43,094 --> 00:37:45,062
Where do you keep the Pepto? Oh, man.

904
00:37:45,129 --> 00:37:47,188
Where do you keep the
Pepto? My stomach hurts.

905
00:37:47,331 --> 00:37:49,196
What are you doing?

906
00:37:49,867 --> 00:37:51,528
I'm looking at
the tape from last night.

907
00:37:52,803 --> 00:37:54,202
<i>Honey, you make me feel good.</i>

908
00:37:54,272 --> 00:37:57,070
<i>Okay. Maybe some sleep
will make you feel good.</i>

909
00:37:57,475 --> 00:37:58,874
Oh, my God.

910
00:37:59,443 --> 00:38:02,378
I don't remember doing any
of this. What am I doing?

911
00:38:02,446 --> 00:38:04,812
Acting like a freak.
This is crazy.

912
00:38:05,149 --> 00:38:06,912
Wait, look at this.
Check this out.

913
00:38:07,051 --> 00:38:09,576
<i>Something weird...
Weird-weird-weird is going on.</i>

914
00:38:11,589 --> 00:38:14,251
<i>Something weird
is going on.</i>

915
00:38:14,825 --> 00:38:16,759
<i>Meow. Honey, you make me feel good.</i>

916
00:38:17,962 --> 00:38:19,589
<i>Weird is going on.</i>

917
00:38:19,664 --> 00:38:21,632
<i>Weird is going on.
Weird-weird-weird is going on.</i>

918
00:38:21,732 --> 00:38:22,756
<i>Whoo!</i>

919
00:38:22,900 --> 00:38:24,834
<i>Weird-weird-weird-weird
is going on.</i>

920
00:38:24,935 --> 00:38:27,426
<i>I'm a scary ghost!</i>

921
00:38:32,143 --> 00:38:33,167
<i>I can't breathe.</i>

922
00:38:33,611 --> 00:38:35,238
Baby, you mad?

923
00:38:35,546 --> 00:38:36,535
Baby.

924
00:38:39,016 --> 00:38:40,278
Malcolm!

925
00:38:41,185 --> 00:38:42,675
It's not a joke!

926
00:38:42,787 --> 00:38:46,086
Come on. I'm just trying to
make light of a bad situation.

927
00:38:46,157 --> 00:38:48,250
Bad situation? So, what,
now you're referring

928
00:38:48,326 --> 00:38:50,294
to my moving in
as a bad situation?

929
00:38:50,361 --> 00:38:52,795
I didn't have a demon in
my house till you moved in.

930
00:38:52,863 --> 00:38:55,491
What happened to, "You're living
with me now. I'll protect you"?

931
00:38:55,599 --> 00:38:57,692
From a burglar,
not a ghost!

932
00:38:58,135 --> 00:38:59,466
You know what?
I ain't listening to this.

933
00:38:59,537 --> 00:39:01,767
Where do you
think you're going?

934
00:39:01,839 --> 00:39:03,033
Out.

935
00:39:03,374 --> 00:39:07,140
Oh, okay! So you're just
gonna leave me here alone?

936
00:39:07,445 --> 00:39:08,469
Malcolm!

937
00:39:48,986 --> 00:39:49,975
Malcolm!

938
00:39:50,054 --> 00:39:51,646
Okay, I'm coming,
I'm coming, I'm coming!

939
00:39:51,722 --> 00:39:52,746
What, what, what, what?

940
00:39:52,823 --> 00:39:53,812
Look at this!

941
00:39:54,525 --> 00:39:56,254
Oh, wow. What the...

942
00:39:57,261 --> 00:39:58,922
Oh, Daddy!

943
00:40:01,265 --> 00:40:02,527
Malcolm!

944
00:40:03,401 --> 00:40:04,834
Oh, shit.

945
00:40:04,902 --> 00:40:07,393
What kind of monster
would do this?

946
00:40:07,905 --> 00:40:09,497
Uh, uh, baby,
you were right.

947
00:40:09,740 --> 00:40:12,004
Listen, there is an evil
spirit in this house.

948
00:40:12,076 --> 00:40:13,600
I believe you.
I was so dumb.

949
00:40:13,711 --> 00:40:14,837
I can't believe
I didn't believe.

950
00:40:14,912 --> 00:40:17,540
Oh, shit. I feel it. Oh,
my God. It's right there.

951
00:40:17,615 --> 00:40:19,105
You feel that?
Feel it, feel it, feel it.

952
00:40:19,216 --> 00:40:21,047
It's cold, right? Oh, my God!

953
00:40:21,118 --> 00:40:23,678
Baby, we have to get rid of
this menace once and for all.

954
00:40:23,754 --> 00:40:25,244
Ooh! The tape!
We can watch the tape.

955
00:40:25,356 --> 00:40:27,221
Wait, no! No, no, no.
Don't watch the tape.

956
00:40:27,291 --> 00:40:28,622
Don't watch the tape.
What?

957
00:40:28,726 --> 00:40:30,921
Because it's just me
and you against him.

958
00:40:31,028 --> 00:40:34,862
You evil spirit!
You leave this house alone!

959
00:40:35,099 --> 00:40:36,259
Now!

960
00:40:36,634 --> 00:40:38,534
You hear me?
You get out!

961
00:40:38,602 --> 00:40:40,229
Get out, demon.
Get out!

962
00:40:40,304 --> 00:40:41,862
Get out, get out, get out!

963
00:40:42,373 --> 00:40:43,362
See, I believe you.
No.

964
00:40:43,707 --> 00:40:45,299
I need you to shut up
once and for all.

965
00:40:45,376 --> 00:40:47,276
Let's watch the tape.
I am shutting up! God!

966
00:40:54,752 --> 00:40:56,379
Mm-hmm.

967
00:40:57,788 --> 00:40:59,312
<i>Hi, Daddy.</i>

968
00:40:59,657 --> 00:41:02,626
<i>You want to come in here
and move in on my house? Huh?</i>

969
00:41:03,994 --> 00:41:06,986
<i>You like haunting people,
huh? I ain't scared of you.</i>

970
00:41:07,097 --> 00:41:08,121
Uh, baby? Um...

971
00:41:08,232 --> 00:41:09,256
<i>Fuck you, and fuck your daddy!</i>

972
00:41:09,333 --> 00:41:10,493
This is disturbing.
You don't want to see it.

973
00:41:10,601 --> 00:41:11,932
I will break your arm.

974
00:41:12,303 --> 00:41:13,998
<i>You wanna watch TV?</i>

975
00:41:15,573 --> 00:41:16,699
Wow!

976
00:41:16,807 --> 00:41:19,037
Oh. Oh, my.

977
00:41:22,446 --> 00:41:23,879
See, that hurt. Lookee.

978
00:41:23,948 --> 00:41:25,108
I got a boo-boo, baby,
right... I don't care.

979
00:41:30,621 --> 00:41:31,645
Oh!

980
00:41:32,990 --> 00:41:35,788
On my father's ashes!
Really?

981
00:41:36,260 --> 00:41:38,820
<i>You think you the shit?
I'll show you the shit.</i>

982
00:41:39,330 --> 00:41:41,457
Nasty! That is so nasty.

983
00:41:41,532 --> 00:41:42,521
I will...

984
00:41:42,600 --> 00:41:43,658
On the floor? Really?

985
00:41:43,767 --> 00:41:46,429
So, what did you do, wipe
your ass with the curtains?

986
00:41:51,175 --> 00:41:52,699
Baby, you didn't like
the curtains anyway.

987
00:41:52,810 --> 00:41:54,300
You're an animal.
We'll get new curtains.

988
00:41:54,378 --> 00:41:55,504
It's just curtains.

989
00:41:55,613 --> 00:41:58,138
I'd be an animal if I
didn't wipe at all. Baby!

990
00:41:58,516 --> 00:42:00,177
This isn't gonna prove
any... Yes, it is!

991
00:42:01,352 --> 00:42:03,877
I swear that I
will listen to Kisha

992
00:42:03,988 --> 00:42:07,151
whenever she says strange
things are going on in the house.

993
00:42:07,491 --> 00:42:08,549
And?

994
00:42:08,659 --> 00:42:10,024
And...

995
00:42:10,561 --> 00:42:14,895
And I swear that I won't
antagonize the ghost anymore.

996
00:42:14,999 --> 00:42:17,490
Even though I didn't
bring him in the house.

997
00:42:17,835 --> 00:42:18,893
And?

998
00:42:19,670 --> 00:42:22,366
And I swear that
Kisha is the prettiest

999
00:42:22,473 --> 00:42:24,839
and the sexiest
girl for never.

1000
00:42:26,143 --> 00:42:27,167
And?

1001
00:42:27,244 --> 00:42:29,269
And I promise I won't shit
in your daddy's ashes.

1002
00:42:29,346 --> 00:42:30,370
Louder!

1003
00:42:30,447 --> 00:42:31,505
I promise I won't shit

1004
00:42:31,582 --> 00:42:34,346
on Kisha's daddy's ashes
ever again.

1005
00:42:35,085 --> 00:42:36,416
Happy?
Yes.

1006
00:42:36,520 --> 00:42:38,181
Can I have my video game back now? No!

1007
00:42:39,590 --> 00:42:40,716
See, man?

1008
00:42:42,826 --> 00:42:44,418
Why are you putting
powder on the floor?

1009
00:42:44,528 --> 00:42:47,395
See, the powder is gonna
let me see his footprints.

1010
00:42:47,698 --> 00:42:49,893
And you think
this is gonna work.

1011
00:42:49,967 --> 00:42:51,491
<i>It did on Scooby-Doo.</i>

1012
00:43:01,879 --> 00:43:03,540
Malcolm, did you
hear that?

1013
00:43:03,647 --> 00:43:04,773
Mm-hmm.

1014
00:43:04,949 --> 00:43:07,679
Then why are you
pretending to be asleep?

1015
00:43:07,885 --> 00:43:08,943
'Cause I know if I'm up,

1016
00:43:09,053 --> 00:43:10,042
you're gonna make me
go check out

1017
00:43:10,120 --> 00:43:12,281
where them scary-ass
noises are coming from.

1018
00:43:12,723 --> 00:43:14,691
Get your black ass up.

1019
00:43:15,225 --> 00:43:16,522
See, man?

1020
00:43:22,032 --> 00:43:23,192
Kisha.

1021
00:43:24,368 --> 00:43:26,097
Camera. Get
the camera. Get the camera.

1022
00:43:29,440 --> 00:43:32,068
Whose plan was
stupid now, Kisha? Hmm?

1023
00:43:32,309 --> 00:43:34,140
Pass me a bat.
A bat?

1024
00:43:34,244 --> 00:43:35,472
You're gonna use
a bat on a ghost?

1025
00:43:35,613 --> 00:43:37,877
I'm sorry. I left my
proton pack in the car.

1026
00:43:37,948 --> 00:43:38,937
Pass me the bat.

1027
00:43:39,116 --> 00:43:41,277
This ghost's got
some ugly-ass feet.

1028
00:43:41,385 --> 00:43:42,613
Looks more like an alien.

1029
00:43:44,488 --> 00:43:45,955
I don't wanna do it.
I don't wanna do it.

1030
00:43:46,290 --> 00:43:47,985
I can't do it. I can't do it. What?

1031
00:43:48,058 --> 00:43:49,286
Malcolm!
No, this... No.

1032
00:43:49,393 --> 00:43:50,655
This ain't what we do.

1033
00:43:50,761 --> 00:43:52,251
This is for white people.
Will you grow some balls!

1034
00:43:52,329 --> 00:43:54,991
This is for white people.
This ain't what niggers do.

1035
00:43:55,065 --> 00:43:57,761
We don't investigate.
We run. We run, we live.

1036
00:43:57,835 --> 00:43:59,632
If we was in a movie theater,
some black woman be screaming,

1037
00:43:59,737 --> 00:44:01,637
"Don't do it!
Don't do it, boy!

1038
00:44:01,739 --> 00:44:03,536
"He behind there.
He in there. "

1039
00:44:03,607 --> 00:44:06,075
If we know he's in there, why
the fuck are we going in there?

1040
00:44:06,310 --> 00:44:07,334
Come on, baby.

1041
00:44:07,411 --> 00:44:09,276
I don't want to do it.

1042
00:44:09,346 --> 00:44:11,246
Stop it.
What if it bites me?

1043
00:44:11,315 --> 00:44:13,340
It's not a zombie.
It's a ghost.

1044
00:44:13,450 --> 00:44:15,179
You wanna play?
That's right!

1045
00:44:15,285 --> 00:44:17,276
You hurt my mother.
You killed my mother.

1046
00:44:17,354 --> 00:44:18,616
That's right!

1047
00:44:18,689 --> 00:44:20,350
That's not helping.
It's not helping none.

1048
00:44:20,691 --> 00:44:22,249
You got this. Go.

1049
00:44:24,094 --> 00:44:25,584
You want some of this?
This is how we...

1050
00:44:25,663 --> 00:44:26,755
Get him!

1051
00:44:26,830 --> 00:44:28,491
Bust your...
Whoop that ghost's ass!

1052
00:44:28,565 --> 00:44:31,625
Turn on the lights!
Oh, my God! Rosa?

1053
00:44:31,702 --> 00:44:32,999
Rosa? Rosa! Rosa!

1054
00:44:33,070 --> 00:44:34,799
<i>Si, senor! Que pasa?</i>

1055
00:44:34,872 --> 00:44:37,102
Oh, my... I'm so sorry.
I thought you...

1056
00:44:37,174 --> 00:44:39,938
I... I didn't know.
I thought you was a ghost.

1057
00:44:40,010 --> 00:44:41,477
Ghost?
Or an alien.

1058
00:44:42,680 --> 00:44:46,275
I was talking about your feet,
not your citizenship or lack thereof.

1059
00:44:46,350 --> 00:44:47,408
I quit.

1060
00:44:47,484 --> 00:44:48,883
See? Give me the camera!

1061
00:44:48,986 --> 00:44:50,010
Go fix this.

1062
00:44:50,087 --> 00:44:51,179
No! I'm not fixing nothing!

1063
00:44:51,288 --> 00:44:53,449
Oh, can't believe
Rosa quit.

1064
00:44:54,425 --> 00:44:57,883
Yeah, well, you know, this
is stressful on all of us.

1065
00:44:58,829 --> 00:45:01,525
I think I might have a little
something to help alleviate

1066
00:45:01,598 --> 00:45:02,929
some of that stress.

1067
00:45:04,368 --> 00:45:06,199
Take it. You hit it.
Yeah?

1068
00:45:06,303 --> 00:45:09,136
Now you gonna go spit up
the end and shit.

1069
00:45:09,206 --> 00:45:10,400
Hold it, hold it.

1070
00:45:14,144 --> 00:45:16,374
Damn!

1071
00:45:16,780 --> 00:45:19,374
Yay! Bravo.
Encore, encore.

1072
00:45:20,017 --> 00:45:21,985
I see a face in the chip.

1073
00:45:22,252 --> 00:45:24,015
It's got a mustache.

1074
00:45:24,088 --> 00:45:25,316
You're not moving...
Never get high.

1075
00:45:25,389 --> 00:45:27,254
...fast enough, Malcolm.
Never get high

1076
00:45:27,324 --> 00:45:28,882
with people that don't
know how to get high.

1077
00:45:29,393 --> 00:45:30,724
I'm baked.

1078
00:45:57,087 --> 00:45:58,987
Oh, shit.

1079
00:46:02,760 --> 00:46:04,489
<i>Los Angeles County, 911.</i>

1080
00:46:16,473 --> 00:46:18,441
My dick!

1081
00:46:20,778 --> 00:46:22,177
He fell for it!

1082
00:46:23,147 --> 00:46:24,671
No, I don't want to.

1083
00:46:25,916 --> 00:46:28,544
Okay. Okay, I'll do it.

1084
00:46:35,058 --> 00:46:38,892
Yeah! That's a shotgun
for your ass. Whoo-hoo-hoo!

1085
00:46:42,499 --> 00:46:43,727
Is he gone?
Oh, he's gone.

1086
00:46:43,801 --> 00:46:44,825
Wow!

1087
00:46:44,935 --> 00:46:46,630
That's that Criss Angel
shit right there.

1088
00:46:46,737 --> 00:46:48,762
Yo, that ghost good.
That ghost good.

1089
00:46:48,839 --> 00:46:50,306
That ghost good.
That ghost good.

1090
00:46:55,312 --> 00:46:56,677
Oh, my God.
What?

1091
00:46:56,747 --> 00:46:58,078
That was awesome!

1092
00:47:05,856 --> 00:47:08,154
Disgusting!

1093
00:47:08,225 --> 00:47:10,523
Malcolm, wake up.
Mmm?

1094
00:47:11,295 --> 00:47:12,956
You peed the bed.

1095
00:47:14,498 --> 00:47:15,522
What?

1096
00:47:15,599 --> 00:47:16,793
You peed the bed.

1097
00:47:17,000 --> 00:47:19,025
Oh, shit! Oh!

1098
00:47:20,437 --> 00:47:21,802
Oh, that's...

1099
00:47:23,440 --> 00:47:24,600
That's not funny.

1100
00:47:25,108 --> 00:47:26,803
Oh, that's fucked up.

1101
00:47:27,444 --> 00:47:28,968
That's real fucked up.

1102
00:47:31,281 --> 00:47:33,442
Hey, Steve, thanks a lot for
bringing the Ouija board over, man.

1103
00:47:33,517 --> 00:47:34,711
I really appreciate that.
Oh, no worries, bro.

1104
00:47:34,785 --> 00:47:35,809
Hopefully...
Hey, baby.

1105
00:47:35,886 --> 00:47:36,875
Can you grab the wine?

1106
00:47:36,987 --> 00:47:40,445
Oh, hey, Kisha, the
dinner was so amazing.

1107
00:47:40,524 --> 00:47:44,790
The chicken was unbelievably
tender and real juicy.

1108
00:47:44,862 --> 00:47:47,092
Oh, well, actually,
that was all Malcolm.

1109
00:47:47,164 --> 00:47:49,257
Was it now?
I'll be damned.

1110
00:47:49,333 --> 00:47:52,825
Well, thanks for letting me nibble
on the leg because I love dark meat.

1111
00:47:53,503 --> 00:47:55,733
Mmm. Well, that is true.
She eats it up.

1112
00:47:55,806 --> 00:47:57,740
I bet she
does. She eats it all up.

1113
00:47:57,875 --> 00:47:59,274
Yeah.

1114
00:47:59,343 --> 00:48:00,776
You guys are
gonna love this wine.

1115
00:48:00,844 --> 00:48:02,539
It is a very robust red.

1116
00:48:02,613 --> 00:48:03,637
Yum.

1117
00:48:03,714 --> 00:48:05,545
Well, you know
what they say.

1118
00:48:05,649 --> 00:48:07,879
"The blacker the berry,
the sweeter the juice. "

1119
00:48:08,018 --> 00:48:09,212
Mm-hmm.

1120
00:48:09,319 --> 00:48:11,810
Okay, y'all need to
cut this out.

1121
00:48:12,155 --> 00:48:14,020
Well, you know what? Normally,
we don't have to chase this hard.

1122
00:48:14,091 --> 00:48:15,115
Mm-hmm.

1123
00:48:15,192 --> 00:48:16,523
Steve...
Hmm?

1124
00:48:16,593 --> 00:48:19,084
I was talking about
that stupid board.

1125
00:48:19,363 --> 00:48:20,990
Oh.
Oh.

1126
00:48:21,164 --> 00:48:23,394
Baby, I just want
to communicate with it.

1127
00:48:25,135 --> 00:48:28,127
Are you a ghost
or a demon?

1128
00:48:30,641 --> 00:48:32,165
Who's doing that?
Malcolm. Who's doing that?

1129
00:48:32,276 --> 00:48:34,141
I don't know. It's
not me. I swear to God.

1130
00:48:34,211 --> 00:48:36,611
"G."

1131
00:48:36,680 --> 00:48:37,806
You guys.

1132
00:48:37,881 --> 00:48:39,576
"O."

1133
00:48:39,650 --> 00:48:41,641
Steve, are you pushing
this? I'm not doing anything.

1134
00:48:41,718 --> 00:48:43,618
Oh, what? "S."

1135
00:48:43,687 --> 00:48:44,745
Go where...

1136
00:48:45,856 --> 00:48:47,118
"T."

1137
00:48:48,492 --> 00:48:50,983
A "gost?" What the hell is a "gost"?

1138
00:48:51,061 --> 00:48:53,291
Oh, maybe he's
trying to spell "ghost. "

1139
00:48:53,363 --> 00:48:55,058
Are you trying
to spell "ghost"?

1140
00:48:56,633 --> 00:48:57,657
You're doing that?

1141
00:48:57,734 --> 00:48:59,031
No. I'm not
moving it, I swear.

1142
00:49:01,138 --> 00:49:02,230
"Yes. "

1143
00:49:03,373 --> 00:49:05,967
Wait. So, he just
spelled "ghost" "gost. "

1144
00:49:07,444 --> 00:49:11,005
What kind of illiterate,
bitch-ass ghost is this?

1145
00:49:11,081 --> 00:49:13,641
Please. Can you please
use "gost" in a sentence?

1146
00:49:13,717 --> 00:49:15,514
Yeah, right.

1147
00:49:15,585 --> 00:49:17,018
Up yours,
you stupid "gost. "

1148
00:49:18,689 --> 00:49:19,849
He probably dyslexic, too.

1149
00:49:19,923 --> 00:49:22,187
He probably
spells "boo," O-O-B.

1150
00:49:22,259 --> 00:49:23,749
Ooh!

1151
00:49:23,827 --> 00:49:25,488
Oh.
Oh.

1152
00:49:26,163 --> 00:49:27,858
Whoa, whoa!

1153
00:49:29,566 --> 00:49:31,056
Somebody's sensitive.

1154
00:49:31,134 --> 00:49:32,158
And stupid.

1155
00:49:35,572 --> 00:49:37,733
You know what? I think we'll
probably just show ourselves out.

1156
00:50:07,137 --> 00:50:08,263
Good morning, honey.

1157
00:50:08,405 --> 00:50:09,565
Good morning.
Mmm.

1158
00:50:11,541 --> 00:50:12,565
Hey.

1159
00:50:12,843 --> 00:50:13,832
Mmm.

1160
00:50:13,944 --> 00:50:15,536
Well, all right.

1161
00:50:15,645 --> 00:50:20,845
Baby, that is the best night's
sleep I've had since I moved in.

1162
00:50:22,185 --> 00:50:24,346
Well, maybe because you made
me sleep in the other room.

1163
00:50:25,655 --> 00:50:27,350
What are you
talking about?

1164
00:50:27,424 --> 00:50:29,415
We had
a breakthrough last night.

1165
00:50:30,027 --> 00:50:31,790
A breakthrough? Really?

1166
00:50:31,895 --> 00:50:33,453
Yes, Malcolm.

1167
00:50:33,530 --> 00:50:38,558
The way that you touched me,
caressed me, made love to me.

1168
00:50:40,570 --> 00:50:42,663
What are you
talking about?

1169
00:50:42,739 --> 00:50:45,333
Malcolm,
we had sex last night!

1170
00:50:45,409 --> 00:50:46,637
No, we didn't.

1171
00:50:46,710 --> 00:50:48,575
Yes, we did.
For about two hours!

1172
00:50:48,678 --> 00:50:50,908
Uh, that definitely
wasn't me.

1173
00:50:51,014 --> 00:50:52,845
Well, who else
could it have been?

1174
00:50:55,952 --> 00:50:57,078
No, get off of me!

1175
00:51:06,763 --> 00:51:09,061
Oh, my God.

1176
00:51:11,935 --> 00:51:15,393
<i>Mmm.</i>

1177
00:51:15,572 --> 00:51:16,732
<i>Mmm, Malcolm.</i>

1178
00:51:17,340 --> 00:51:18,671
What?

1179
00:51:18,742 --> 00:51:20,334
<i>Ooh, that's new.</i>

1180
00:51:23,246 --> 00:51:26,044
<i>Oh.
Are you doing the alphabet?</i>

1181
00:51:26,850 --> 00:51:28,909
<i>Uh-uh, nigger, clean
your plate. Come on.</i>

1182
00:51:30,087 --> 00:51:33,386
<i>Slob it down, slob it down.</i>

1183
00:51:33,457 --> 00:51:35,687
<i>Waterboarding your ass.</i>

1184
00:51:36,726 --> 00:51:38,284
<i>Mm, Malcolm.
Did you grow?</i>

1185
00:51:39,596 --> 00:51:42,360
<i>Ride the pony! Ride it. Oh!</i>

1186
00:51:43,700 --> 00:51:45,725
<i>Oh! Get it! Get it! Get it!
Oh, I've had it.</i>

1187
00:51:46,103 --> 00:51:49,072
<i>Oh, yeah! Dip it!
Dip it down!</i>

1188
00:51:49,973 --> 00:51:51,031
I can't watch.

1189
00:51:51,108 --> 00:51:52,370
Why don't I finish up...
I can't watch anymore.

1190
00:51:52,442 --> 00:51:53,932
I just can't watch anymore.
I'll finish.

1191
00:52:01,718 --> 00:52:03,413
<i>Uh-uh, you ain't done yet.</i>

1192
00:52:12,996 --> 00:52:15,430
I had no idea
you was a squirter.

1193
00:52:17,501 --> 00:52:19,128
Neither did I?

1194
00:52:22,272 --> 00:52:23,899
Hey.
Don't touch me.

1195
00:52:24,074 --> 00:52:28,010
You seriously have
an attitude with me right now?

1196
00:52:28,078 --> 00:52:29,807
You liked it.
What?

1197
00:52:30,480 --> 00:52:32,311
You heard me.
You liked it.

1198
00:52:32,415 --> 00:52:34,781
You like having
sex with that thing

1199
00:52:34,851 --> 00:52:36,409
more than you like
having sex with me.

1200
00:52:37,921 --> 00:52:40,412
Malcolm, I was asleep.

1201
00:52:40,824 --> 00:52:42,018
Mm-hmm. Talk to the hand. I was...

1202
00:52:42,092 --> 00:52:43,320
That's the hand.
Talk to it.

1203
00:52:43,393 --> 00:52:44,587
I was asleep, okay?

1204
00:52:44,661 --> 00:52:46,424
I didn't know I was
having sex with a ghost.

1205
00:52:46,530 --> 00:52:47,622
Aha!

1206
00:52:47,831 --> 00:52:50,061
You just admitted
to having sex with a ghost!

1207
00:52:50,133 --> 00:52:53,694
And you liked it!
"Oh, Malcolm, you grew. "

1208
00:52:54,337 --> 00:52:55,429
What happened, Kisha?

1209
00:52:55,505 --> 00:52:57,132
I'm not adequate
enough for you?

1210
00:52:57,274 --> 00:53:00,402
Huh? I'm sorry.
I tried Extense, Kisha.

1211
00:53:00,477 --> 00:53:01,637
Went through
the whole program.

1212
00:53:01,711 --> 00:53:04,373
I did Cialis,
Viagra and Maca.

1213
00:53:04,447 --> 00:53:06,039
Okay. All it did was get me dizzy,

1214
00:53:06,116 --> 00:53:07,640
you know...
Okay, stop it, all right?

1215
00:53:07,717 --> 00:53:09,617
That is not fair!
I was anally bleeding

1216
00:53:09,686 --> 00:53:11,313
for a month,
and you didn't even know.

1217
00:53:11,388 --> 00:53:13,117
Listen, that is not fair,

1218
00:53:13,190 --> 00:53:16,125
because I'm the one who
was violated, not you.

1219
00:53:20,697 --> 00:53:22,028
I'm sorry.

1220
00:53:22,132 --> 00:53:23,929
I'm sorry,
I'm sorry, I'm sorry.

1221
00:53:25,702 --> 00:53:28,102
Must have been a
horrific experience for you.

1222
00:53:28,171 --> 00:53:29,331
I'm sorry.

1223
00:53:29,906 --> 00:53:32,374
Eh, could have been worse.

1224
00:53:34,644 --> 00:53:35,872
Hey, cuz... Ray-Ray.

1225
00:53:35,946 --> 00:53:36,970
You got a beef
up in here?

1226
00:53:37,047 --> 00:53:39,106
Lots of niggers.
Not beef. Hey...

1227
00:53:39,182 --> 00:53:41,173
Hey, what the fuck is
you taping for, Kisha?

1228
00:53:41,251 --> 00:53:43,219
We thugs.
We can't be on no TV!

1229
00:53:43,320 --> 00:53:45,185
Shut up, Ray-Ray.

1230
00:53:45,255 --> 00:53:46,984
Get the fuck off me.
Okay. Sorry.

1231
00:53:47,057 --> 00:53:48,490
So, what's going on
with this beef, homey?

1232
00:53:48,558 --> 00:53:50,583
It's that old bitch next
door, ain't it, homey?

1233
00:53:50,694 --> 00:53:52,184
Yeah, she was
eyeballing me, cuz,

1234
00:53:52,262 --> 00:53:54,423
when I was all up in her
windowsill last night.

1235
00:53:54,531 --> 00:53:56,931
But she got a nice body,
though, cuz.

1236
00:53:57,000 --> 00:53:59,093
You know, like a sexy-ass
baked potato, homey.

1237
00:53:59,169 --> 00:54:00,261
It's not like that.

1238
00:54:00,370 --> 00:54:01,735
What the fuck is it like,
then, homey?

1239
00:54:01,871 --> 00:54:04,339
Well, someone's coming
between me and Kisha.

1240
00:54:04,407 --> 00:54:06,136
Somebody fucked
your girl, cuz?

1241
00:54:06,209 --> 00:54:07,938
Well, not... I be the
one that fucked your girl!

1242
00:54:08,044 --> 00:54:09,170
Oh, please.

1243
00:54:09,246 --> 00:54:11,407
How you let somebody fuck
your girl before me, cuz?

1244
00:54:11,514 --> 00:54:12,674
We family, nigger!

1245
00:54:12,749 --> 00:54:13,875
I... I'm sorry... Kinda.

1246
00:54:13,950 --> 00:54:16,783
How the fuck do you "kinda"
bang Kisha, homey?

1247
00:54:16,886 --> 00:54:19,446
Did he have one pant
leg in, one pant leg out?

1248
00:54:19,522 --> 00:54:21,490
Like, he wasn't even interested
in fucking her, homey?

1249
00:54:21,558 --> 00:54:23,150
Like, he had somewhere
better to be, homey?

1250
00:54:23,226 --> 00:54:25,194
Okay, Ray-Ray,
that is not what it's like.

1251
00:54:25,262 --> 00:54:28,459
And can you please tell your
Negro to back the hell up off me?

1252
00:54:28,531 --> 00:54:30,965
Hey! Pelvis back
2 inches, homey.

1253
00:54:31,067 --> 00:54:32,762
But stay up
on her, though.

1254
00:54:32,869 --> 00:54:34,598
What the fuck is
it like then, Kisha? Hmm?

1255
00:54:34,671 --> 00:54:36,070
If you listen,
I'll tell you.

1256
00:54:36,139 --> 00:54:37,504
You tell me!

1257
00:54:37,574 --> 00:54:39,872
I can't wait to get
my hands on this fool.

1258
00:54:39,943 --> 00:54:41,911
Come on out, cuz!
Ray-Ray, cut it out.

1259
00:54:41,978 --> 00:54:43,673
You're gonna make it mad.

1260
00:54:46,716 --> 00:54:49,276
I don't give a fuck, Kisha!

1261
00:54:49,386 --> 00:54:52,446
He should be worried about making
Ray-Ray mad up in here, bitch!

1262
00:54:52,522 --> 00:54:54,080
Who you
callin' a bitch?

1263
00:54:54,157 --> 00:54:55,215
Show yourself!

1264
00:54:55,292 --> 00:54:56,589
No, Ray, don't do that!
Don't...

1265
00:55:00,563 --> 00:55:02,326
What the fuck is that?

1266
00:55:02,499 --> 00:55:04,364
A ghost, Ray.

1267
00:55:05,335 --> 00:55:07,269
A "ghost" ghost?
A "ghost" ghost.

1268
00:55:07,337 --> 00:55:08,361
Like a dead ghost?

1269
00:55:08,438 --> 00:55:10,269
Yes! Ray-Ray, that's
what we've been trying

1270
00:55:10,340 --> 00:55:12,205
to tell you
for 15 minutes!

1271
00:55:12,942 --> 00:55:14,375
You idiot.

1272
00:55:14,444 --> 00:55:19,074
What the...
What in the hell...

1273
00:55:20,450 --> 00:55:22,475
What happened to
your furniture, cuz?

1274
00:55:31,027 --> 00:55:32,460
Get your hands up, cuz!

1275
00:55:32,529 --> 00:55:33,791
You're trying to
get me killed, cuz.

1276
00:55:33,863 --> 00:55:35,387
I didn't, Ray-Ray! Ray!

1277
00:55:36,299 --> 00:55:37,561
God!

1278
00:55:40,170 --> 00:55:41,398
My stuff!

1279
00:55:42,772 --> 00:55:45,605
Babe, you got to
admit, it's kind of impressive.

1280
00:55:52,015 --> 00:55:54,142
Perfume? Hey!

1281
00:55:54,484 --> 00:55:56,714
Yeah, it's new.
It's called Entity.

1282
00:55:56,786 --> 00:55:58,651
I like it.

1283
00:55:59,489 --> 00:56:01,480
What's the occasion?
What's up?

1284
00:56:01,558 --> 00:56:04,459
Malcolm, is it a crime
to want to sleep

1285
00:56:04,527 --> 00:56:06,085
With no panties on?

1286
00:56:08,865 --> 00:56:11,732
I get it. This...
This ain't for me.

1287
00:56:11,801 --> 00:56:13,291
This is for him.

1288
00:56:13,370 --> 00:56:15,201
Who are you
talking about?

1289
00:56:16,206 --> 00:56:17,730
You know exactly
who I'm talking about.

1290
00:56:17,841 --> 00:56:20,503
For your little
supernatural lover.

1291
00:56:20,643 --> 00:56:22,133
Malcolm,
you're being ridiculous,

1292
00:56:22,212 --> 00:56:23,645
and I'm gonna
say this right now.

1293
00:56:23,813 --> 00:56:25,644
Insecurity is
not attractive.

1294
00:56:25,715 --> 00:56:27,808
Yeah? Well, being a paranormal jump-off

1295
00:56:27,884 --> 00:56:30,682
is not attractive
either, hon. Good night.

1296
00:56:30,987 --> 00:56:32,818
You're taking this too far. Whatever.

1297
00:56:32,889 --> 00:56:34,982
I have no interest
in a ghost.

1298
00:56:45,735 --> 00:56:47,896
You gonna try
and contact him?

1299
00:56:49,272 --> 00:56:50,398
Good night!
I was gonna...

1300
00:56:50,507 --> 00:56:51,565
Good night!

1301
00:57:57,640 --> 00:57:59,232
<i>Get off of me!</i>

1302
00:58:02,946 --> 00:58:04,504
Baby.
Hey!

1303
00:58:04,614 --> 00:58:05,740
Hey.
Hey.

1304
00:58:05,815 --> 00:58:07,112
What's...
What's up with the donut?

1305
00:58:07,183 --> 00:58:11,244
Oh, uh, I just got a little
hemorrhoid, that's all.

1306
00:58:11,321 --> 00:58:12,652
Oh, I'm sorry.
Hurts.

1307
00:58:12,755 --> 00:58:15,189
So, anything happen
eventful last night?

1308
00:58:15,291 --> 00:58:18,419
No, nothing eventful.
Just, you know, the usual.

1309
00:58:18,495 --> 00:58:21,293
Just, like, you know,
door slams, stuff like that.

1310
00:58:21,531 --> 00:58:22,691
Oh. I wanna see.

1311
00:58:22,765 --> 00:58:23,857
Nope, nope.

1312
00:58:23,967 --> 00:58:24,991
Nothing for you
to see, baby.

1313
00:58:25,101 --> 00:58:26,659
Wait! Baby!

1314
00:58:26,736 --> 00:58:27,794
Hey!

1315
00:58:27,871 --> 00:58:29,202
Can you... So rude!
Stop! Stop!

1316
00:58:29,305 --> 00:58:30,431
Hey! Malcolm!
Would you...

1317
00:58:30,507 --> 00:58:31,974
Cut it...
Just gotta do...

1318
00:58:32,041 --> 00:58:33,440
Oh, my!
You know what?

1319
00:58:33,510 --> 00:58:35,273
You...
You got altar-boyed.

1320
00:58:35,345 --> 00:58:36,607
You know what?

1321
00:58:36,679 --> 00:58:38,670
You can't...
Malcolm, hold on a second.

1322
00:58:38,781 --> 00:58:40,715
No, no, no, no, no!
You just uploaded it!

1323
00:58:40,817 --> 00:58:42,011
No, no, no!

1324
00:58:42,118 --> 00:58:43,380
Oh, no!

1325
00:58:45,522 --> 00:58:48,013
<i>You're gonna be bigger than
Charlie Bit My Finger.</i>

1326
00:58:53,630 --> 00:58:55,063
Say hello
to the camera.

1327
00:58:55,164 --> 00:58:56,324
Hello, Malcolm...
Come on, Kisha.

1328
00:58:56,399 --> 00:58:58,833
Get the camera out my face.
I'm not in the mood. Stop it!

1329
00:58:58,902 --> 00:59:00,335
Oh, I see. I see.

1330
00:59:00,403 --> 00:59:04,396
Now that you've been touched by an
angel, suddenly you're camera shy?

1331
00:59:05,542 --> 00:59:07,635
Let me ask you
a question, Kisha.

1332
00:59:07,710 --> 00:59:09,371
Is this the first
ghost you slept with?

1333
00:59:09,479 --> 00:59:11,879
Or it's the first one
I caught you with?

1334
00:59:11,981 --> 00:59:13,573
You wanna go there?
Yeah, I wanna go there.

1335
00:59:13,683 --> 00:59:14,672
When did you
become ghost pussy?

1336
00:59:14,851 --> 00:59:15,840
You know what, Malcolm?

1337
00:59:15,919 --> 00:59:19,719
Maybe I wouldn't need a ghost
if I was with a real man!

1338
00:59:20,890 --> 00:59:24,223
There are Super Bowl ads
that last longer than you do!

1339
00:59:24,294 --> 00:59:25,318
Let me tell you something.

1340
00:59:25,395 --> 00:59:27,727
People wait all year for
those Super Bowl ads, baby.

1341
00:59:27,864 --> 00:59:28,888
All year!

1342
00:59:28,998 --> 00:59:31,193
And maybe it's 'cause
every time I see you naked,

1343
00:59:31,267 --> 00:59:33,497
all I can think about is
you sitting on the toilet,

1344
00:59:33,570 --> 00:59:34,832
playing with
a Rubik's Cube!

1345
00:59:34,904 --> 00:59:37,395
I'm sorry, Kisha. Some things
just shouldn't be shared.

1346
00:59:37,473 --> 00:59:38,565
I let my guard down and...

1347
00:59:38,641 --> 00:59:39,903
Oh, you let
your guard down.

1348
00:59:39,976 --> 00:59:41,170
...you're gonna
throw it back in my face?

1349
00:59:41,244 --> 00:59:42,472
You killed my dog!

1350
00:59:42,545 --> 00:59:43,876
You have not let this go!

1351
00:59:43,947 --> 00:59:44,936
Yeah, let's go there.

1352
00:59:45,014 --> 00:59:46,242
I did not kill your dog!

1353
00:59:46,316 --> 00:59:47,510
You dog murderer.

1354
00:59:47,584 --> 00:59:49,449
That was my baby, and
you killed it on purpose!

1355
00:59:49,552 --> 00:59:50,746
Oh, your baby was
87 years old!

1356
00:59:51,354 --> 00:59:53,015
Shh.

1357
00:59:55,625 --> 00:59:57,024
Okay.
Okay.

1358
00:59:57,093 --> 00:59:58,390
All right, come on.
Let's go outside.

1359
00:59:58,461 --> 01:00:00,361
Okay. Okay.
Come on.

1360
01:00:00,430 --> 01:00:01,897
Okay. Go!
Okay.

1361
01:00:02,298 --> 01:00:03,492
Do you see that?
It's getting worse.

1362
01:00:03,566 --> 01:00:04,897
Well, you heard the psychic,
all right?

1363
01:00:05,001 --> 01:00:06,298
It feeds off of
negative energy.

1364
01:00:06,369 --> 01:00:07,893
All of your arguing
is making it stronger.

1365
01:00:08,004 --> 01:00:09,130
My arguing? My arguing?

1366
01:00:09,205 --> 01:00:10,263
You're the one that...

1367
01:00:10,340 --> 01:00:11,329
That's right.

1368
01:00:11,407 --> 01:00:12,669
We have to stop fighting. I can't.

1369
01:00:12,742 --> 01:00:14,073
You are getting
on my nerves.

1370
01:00:14,177 --> 01:00:16,042
Well, just pretend.

1371
01:00:25,154 --> 01:00:27,019
Good thing we
switched to plastic.

1372
01:00:36,332 --> 01:00:38,061
We'll have to get
that pot rack looked at.

1373
01:00:38,167 --> 01:00:39,600
Mm-hmm.

1374
01:00:50,647 --> 01:00:51,705
Tea's ready.
Mmm.

1375
01:01:01,958 --> 01:01:03,482
I'm gonna make
a run to Starbucks.

1376
01:01:12,535 --> 01:01:14,002
Can you pick me
up a latte?

1377
01:01:14,070 --> 01:01:15,094
You got it!

1378
01:01:31,287 --> 01:01:32,311
Malcolm!

1379
01:01:41,064 --> 01:01:43,396
Yeah! I kicked you
in your ghost balls!

1380
01:01:43,466 --> 01:01:44,763
I got some for you...

1381
01:01:49,338 --> 01:01:50,600
Malcolm!

1382
01:01:50,673 --> 01:01:53,301
Wake up!
Nigger, open your eyes!

1383
01:01:53,476 --> 01:01:56,172
Take off those
damn headphones!

1384
01:01:56,245 --> 01:01:58,042
Malcolm!

1385
01:02:02,385 --> 01:02:03,784
Malcolm!

1386
01:02:03,853 --> 01:02:05,946
Malcolm!

1387
01:02:18,701 --> 01:02:20,828
Yeah, listen.
Something's wrong with Kisha.

1388
01:02:20,937 --> 01:02:23,064
No, no, she's been
cleaning all morning.

1389
01:02:24,240 --> 01:02:26,003
Dude, Kisha don't clean.

1390
01:02:27,143 --> 01:02:29,611
That's good, baby. Not the
couch, honey! Not the couch.

1391
01:02:29,679 --> 01:02:31,510
Not the couch.
Yes, the floor.

1392
01:02:31,614 --> 01:02:33,980
Yeah, good girl, good girl.

1393
01:02:34,050 --> 01:02:36,780
Yo, man, earlier,
I caught her masturbating

1394
01:02:37,386 --> 01:02:38,785
with a crucifix.

1395
01:02:39,088 --> 01:02:40,749
Kisha?

1396
01:02:42,525 --> 01:02:43,856
Wouldn't you rather
use this?

1397
01:02:48,931 --> 01:02:50,023
Okay.

1398
01:02:51,167 --> 01:02:52,862
Exactly. I'm...

1399
01:02:54,937 --> 01:02:56,598
Uh, dude, I gotta go.

1400
01:02:56,672 --> 01:02:58,503
No, she's
walking the dog.

1401
01:02:59,308 --> 01:03:01,640
What's wrong with that?
The dog is dead.

1402
01:03:01,711 --> 01:03:04,179
I gotta go.
Uh, Kisha?

1403
01:03:05,348 --> 01:03:07,316
Kisha. Oh, boy. Kisha!

1404
01:03:08,518 --> 01:03:10,850
Kisha? Baby?

1405
01:03:12,488 --> 01:03:15,514
Listen, I just wanted to apologize
for the way I been acting.

1406
01:03:15,625 --> 01:03:16,922
I just want to tell
you that I love you,

1407
01:03:16,993 --> 01:03:19,518
and I don't want anything
to come between us.

1408
01:03:19,595 --> 01:03:22,655
<i>And what the hell is that
Twilight shit on your neck?</i>

1409
01:03:22,865 --> 01:03:25,561
Oh, my God! Oh, God!

1410
01:03:26,002 --> 01:03:27,367
What the hell?

1411
01:03:28,771 --> 01:03:31,035
Oh, yeah.
She is definitely on the rag.

1412
01:03:32,542 --> 01:03:34,407
Oh, Father.
Thank God you could make it.

1413
01:03:35,211 --> 01:03:36,838
Nigger, call me "Doug. "

1414
01:03:36,946 --> 01:03:38,937
I don't like being
called "Father. " No way.

1415
01:03:39,015 --> 01:03:41,609
Plus, I got a couple issues
with a few people out there

1416
01:03:41,684 --> 01:03:43,549
claiming false child support.

1417
01:03:43,653 --> 01:03:45,883
I mean, just 'cause the
little nigger got my eyes,

1418
01:03:45,988 --> 01:03:48,855
my nose, my extremely rare
AB-negative blood type,

1419
01:03:48,958 --> 01:03:50,755
don't mean I'm
the damn daddy.

1420
01:03:51,394 --> 01:03:53,555
Plus, I'm still in training.

1421
01:03:53,663 --> 01:03:55,130
At the seminary?

1422
01:03:55,264 --> 01:03:56,731
No, the penitentiary.

1423
01:03:56,833 --> 01:03:58,357
What?
Shit, nigger,

1424
01:03:58,434 --> 01:04:00,129
I've been
incarcerated 15 years.

1425
01:04:00,403 --> 01:04:02,667
Oh. But you learn a lot out
there reading on the yard.

1426
01:04:02,738 --> 01:04:05,400
You shank a nigger, come
in, read the scripture.

1427
01:04:05,508 --> 01:04:07,738
Shank a motherfucker,
read the scripture.

1428
01:04:07,844 --> 01:04:09,141
You gonna let
a nigger in or what?

1429
01:04:09,212 --> 01:04:10,406
Uh, I'm sorry, Father.
Come in.

1430
01:04:10,513 --> 01:04:12,674
Damn. Standing out here,
nigger. It's cold as hell.

1431
01:04:15,785 --> 01:04:16,911
Ooh.

1432
01:04:17,820 --> 01:04:20,345
Uh, bro, I'm gonna have
to level with you.

1433
01:04:20,423 --> 01:04:22,323
This bitch don't look right.

1434
01:04:22,425 --> 01:04:26,259
I mean, she look all
ashy and shit, and just...

1435
01:04:26,362 --> 01:04:28,728
You know, like E.T.
With a weave.

1436
01:04:28,831 --> 01:04:30,230
If I was you,
I'd just be out.

1437
01:04:30,333 --> 01:04:31,891
Let's just go.
Come on. Let's go.

1438
01:04:32,001 --> 01:04:34,333
Uh, I... I can't leave
her. That's my girl.

1439
01:04:34,403 --> 01:04:35,870
Are you kidding me?
Come on, man.

1440
01:04:35,938 --> 01:04:37,337
There's so much
pussy in the world, man.

1441
01:04:37,406 --> 01:04:38,998
You don't have to
be with just her.

1442
01:04:39,075 --> 01:04:40,201
Come to the congregation.

1443
01:04:40,276 --> 01:04:42,210
I've got a few in
the congregation,

1444
01:04:42,278 --> 01:04:43,870
I'm trying to tell you.
Check this out.

1445
01:04:47,650 --> 01:04:48,878
Now, I know she look old.

1446
01:04:48,951 --> 01:04:51,044
I know she... But she a
freak, and she got skills.

1447
01:04:51,120 --> 01:04:52,917
Can we go in
there and just save her?

1448
01:04:53,022 --> 01:04:55,183
Yo! Yo, dawg, you
yelling at me right now?

1449
01:04:55,258 --> 01:04:57,453
I know you just
didn't scream on me, dawg.

1450
01:04:57,560 --> 01:05:00,051
I'm here to
exorcise your bitch, man.

1451
01:05:00,129 --> 01:05:02,359
So you wanna go in the
room. All the way in?

1452
01:05:03,766 --> 01:05:06,030
Look at her hair.
Her hair's all crazy.

1453
01:05:07,103 --> 01:05:08,570
You think I'm scared
right now, but I'm not.

1454
01:05:08,638 --> 01:05:09,696
I didn't think
you was scared.

1455
01:05:09,772 --> 01:05:11,205
No, I'm just
a little concerned

1456
01:05:11,274 --> 01:05:13,435
that I don't have
the right stuff.

1457
01:05:13,542 --> 01:05:15,271
Do you have,
like, a loaded gun?

1458
01:05:15,444 --> 01:05:16,604
I'll shank this bitch
for you.

1459
01:05:20,650 --> 01:05:23,585
It's cold as a motherfucker in
here, man. Y'all ain't got no heat?

1460
01:05:25,288 --> 01:05:27,722
How you doing,
crazy bitch?

1461
01:05:27,790 --> 01:05:28,848
Kisha.

1462
01:05:28,925 --> 01:05:31,655
Kisha, I'm Father Doug.

1463
01:05:32,662 --> 01:05:34,960
I'm here to
un-possess you.

1464
01:05:35,331 --> 01:05:37,595
Wait a minute.
She's moving.

1465
01:05:37,667 --> 01:05:41,467
This is some
crazy-ass shit, man.

1466
01:05:41,971 --> 01:05:43,370
Who are you?

1467
01:05:45,007 --> 01:05:47,237
I wasn't
expecting her to talk.

1468
01:05:47,310 --> 01:05:48,675
I'm Father Doug.

1469
01:05:48,778 --> 01:05:50,803
Connect the cut.
Connect the cut.

1470
01:05:52,815 --> 01:05:55,283
Connect the cut. Connect
the cut. Connect the cut.

1471
01:05:55,518 --> 01:05:58,453
Oh, oh, that's some of that
Busta Rhymes shit

1472
01:05:58,587 --> 01:05:59,679
she doin' right there.

1473
01:05:59,789 --> 01:06:01,620
<i>She's on that Bus A Bus.</i>

1474
01:06:01,691 --> 01:06:03,921
It's kinda more like Twista,
though. It's real fast.

1475
01:06:08,698 --> 01:06:11,189
Do you know how to
connect the cuts?

1476
01:06:18,207 --> 01:06:20,141
Uh, uh, uh.

1477
01:06:20,343 --> 01:06:22,368
Tic-tac-toe in your face!

1478
01:06:22,478 --> 01:06:24,639
Straight X's,
straight across, diagonal.

1479
01:06:24,714 --> 01:06:26,682
I almost had your
ass the other way.

1480
01:06:26,849 --> 01:06:30,341
Tic-tac-toe on your arm,
connect the cuts.

1481
01:06:30,453 --> 01:06:32,114
That's what she was saying,
"Connect the cuts. "

1482
01:06:32,855 --> 01:06:34,948
I wanna show you something.

1483
01:06:38,461 --> 01:06:42,955
"Suck it. " That's gangsta!
That's gangsta.

1484
01:06:43,232 --> 01:06:44,529
You wanna see mine?

1485
01:06:44,633 --> 01:06:45,793
It's okay.
I'm gonna show you mine.

1486
01:06:45,868 --> 01:06:50,168
Check this out. I did a
little something a while back.

1487
01:06:50,306 --> 01:06:53,070
I did that in prison.
Yeah, you know,

1488
01:06:53,242 --> 01:06:55,176
it hurt. But, you know,

1489
01:06:55,511 --> 01:06:57,308
you gotta go through it.
You gotta earn it.

1490
01:06:57,546 --> 01:06:59,377
Everybody went crazy.
They was like,

1491
01:06:59,482 --> 01:07:01,347
"No, you didn't!
You so hard, dawg!"

1492
01:07:01,417 --> 01:07:03,317
I had control of
that TV for a month.

1493
01:07:04,620 --> 01:07:07,180
Would you like to
see my paintings?

1494
01:07:08,357 --> 01:07:09,881
Sure. Of course.

1495
01:07:09,992 --> 01:07:13,428
You know, I consider myself
a bit of an art aficionado.

1496
01:07:14,230 --> 01:07:16,630
I think it's
going well. It's going good.

1497
01:07:18,868 --> 01:07:20,062
Mm-hmm.

1498
01:07:20,403 --> 01:07:21,563
Lf, uh...

1499
01:07:22,338 --> 01:07:24,568
Well, you know, if I can be
perfectly honest with you,

1500
01:07:24,673 --> 01:07:26,004
it's your
technique that's sloppy.

1501
01:07:26,075 --> 01:07:27,372
But that's, you know,

1502
01:07:27,443 --> 01:07:29,809
to be expected from someone
that's possessed.

1503
01:07:37,319 --> 01:07:38,547
Hmm?

1504
01:07:42,158 --> 01:07:44,626
Ah!

1505
01:07:45,628 --> 01:07:47,357
Damn, that made
my breath stink.

1506
01:07:48,130 --> 01:07:49,654
Man, that breath is kickin'!

1507
01:07:50,599 --> 01:07:52,965
I can only imagine
what the kitty smell like.

1508
01:07:53,069 --> 01:07:54,798
Pure evil.

1509
01:07:55,071 --> 01:07:56,470
Goddamn.

1510
01:08:01,410 --> 01:08:03,935
<i>I'm Dan "the Man" Kearney
and today on Ghost Guys</i>

1511
01:08:04,013 --> 01:08:06,072
we're investigating
paranormal activity

1512
01:08:06,148 --> 01:08:08,548
at the Johnson residence
in suburban Los Angeles.

1513
01:08:08,617 --> 01:08:10,380
This is going be
very unsettling.

1514
01:08:10,453 --> 01:08:12,478
Not like those other
fake ghost hunter shows.

1515
01:08:12,555 --> 01:08:13,681
This stuff is real.

1516
01:08:13,756 --> 01:08:17,351
And I don't mean like,
"I saw my dead nana" scary,

1517
01:08:17,426 --> 01:08:21,055
but scary like, "I left a
bag of meth in the glove box

1518
01:08:21,130 --> 01:08:22,529
"and I'm getting
pulled up by the cops

1519
01:08:22,598 --> 01:08:24,498
"and I got a hot pipe
under the seat. "

1520
01:08:24,567 --> 01:08:26,728
That kind of scary.
Let's go inside.

1521
01:08:27,136 --> 01:08:30,196
<i>All right,
on behalf of Ghost Guys,</i>

1522
01:08:30,272 --> 01:08:33,400
the greatest ghost-hunter show
on the Internet or cable access,

1523
01:08:33,476 --> 01:08:35,774
I'd like to thank you for having
us. You've made a good choice.

1524
01:08:35,845 --> 01:08:37,506
You're welcome. Thank
you very much for coming.

1525
01:08:37,580 --> 01:08:39,172
Malcolm, Malcolm,
I'm not sure about this.

1526
01:08:39,248 --> 01:08:43,150
I mean, this guy, sure. But Sling
Blade there, don't trust him.

1527
01:08:43,252 --> 01:08:45,015
You said you needed
ghost hunters right?

1528
01:08:45,087 --> 01:08:47,248
I also said I
needed a psychic.

1529
01:08:49,758 --> 01:08:50,918
Chip, hey, what's up?

1530
01:08:50,993 --> 01:08:52,517
What's going on?
What are you doing here?

1531
01:08:52,595 --> 01:08:54,392
I'm a psychic, I sensed
you needed my help.

1532
01:08:54,463 --> 01:08:55,452
I do.

1533
01:08:55,531 --> 01:08:56,555
There's a new person.

1534
01:08:56,632 --> 01:08:58,793
Yeah, that's Bob.
Come on, let's go.

1535
01:08:59,568 --> 01:09:02,503
Hey, there's something different
about you. Something new.

1536
01:09:02,571 --> 01:09:05,267
I can't quite put my finger
in you. On you. On it.

1537
01:09:05,341 --> 01:09:06,330
Haircut.

1538
01:09:06,408 --> 01:09:07,466
Someone's got a secret.

1539
01:09:07,576 --> 01:09:08,907
No, I don't. Come on.

1540
01:09:08,978 --> 01:09:10,240
Hey, guys.

1541
01:09:10,446 --> 01:09:14,280
Gentlemen, what we have
here is a crazy bitch.

1542
01:09:14,583 --> 01:09:16,380
Now, I would leave
her possessed ass

1543
01:09:16,452 --> 01:09:18,386
in the alley downtown
if it was me,

1544
01:09:18,454 --> 01:09:21,617
but apparently, Malcolm's
got a thing for the freak.

1545
01:09:21,724 --> 01:09:22,713
Holy shit.

1546
01:09:22,791 --> 01:09:25,351
So, what you're saying is, there's
an actual demon here in the house?

1547
01:09:25,427 --> 01:09:27,327
It's in the bitch.

1548
01:09:28,230 --> 01:09:30,721
I'm sorry, "ho. "
No disrespect.

1549
01:09:30,799 --> 01:09:33,097
"Bitch" is fine.
"Bitch" is fine.

1550
01:09:33,235 --> 01:09:35,260
All right,
this is what I'm getting.

1551
01:09:35,471 --> 01:09:40,773
The entity does not want
to leave this house,

1552
01:09:41,644 --> 01:09:42,736
okay?

1553
01:09:43,712 --> 01:09:46,875
It's struggling
to stay inside.

1554
01:09:47,049 --> 01:09:48,983
And Malcolm,
I need to know.

1555
01:09:49,151 --> 01:09:52,609
How far are you gonna go
to get this demon out?

1556
01:09:52,922 --> 01:09:54,787
I'll do anything.

1557
01:09:56,225 --> 01:09:57,214
Anything?

1558
01:09:57,326 --> 01:10:00,261
I don't
see how this is gonna help anything.

1559
01:10:00,429 --> 01:10:02,260
This just got weird.

1560
01:10:02,431 --> 01:10:04,365
What is this
supposed to do?

1561
01:10:06,202 --> 01:10:10,400
Um... Nothing. I was just trying
to see how far you would go.

1562
01:10:11,540 --> 01:10:12,529
What did I tell you?

1563
01:10:12,608 --> 01:10:13,632
I think she looks fine.

1564
01:10:13,709 --> 01:10:14,903
Clearly does not
look fine.

1565
01:10:14,977 --> 01:10:16,968
She looks fucked up.
I'm gonna need my Bible.

1566
01:10:17,079 --> 01:10:18,103
You're gonna bless her?

1567
01:10:18,180 --> 01:10:21,172
Well, yeah, I blessed
this joint. Mm-hmm.

1568
01:10:21,283 --> 01:10:23,774
Right out of the First
Chronicles.

1569
01:10:23,953 --> 01:10:28,049
I haven't done many exorcisms, but
I don't think that's appropriate.

1570
01:10:28,224 --> 01:10:32,456
I get it, I get it. I can
fix that, though, right now.

1571
01:10:32,528 --> 01:10:33,722
I got a little something.

1572
01:10:33,796 --> 01:10:35,161
What's going on?

1573
01:10:35,297 --> 01:10:38,232
That's a demon party.
Yeah, look out.

1574
01:10:42,004 --> 01:10:43,596
What is this, 1985?

1575
01:10:43,672 --> 01:10:44,900
Is there just one demon?

1576
01:10:44,974 --> 01:10:47,033
'Cause I feel like we could
exorcise any demons in the area.

1577
01:10:47,109 --> 01:10:49,168
What? I'll take on
a whole team of demons.

1578
01:10:49,245 --> 01:10:50,576
What we should do is get
all the demons in one room

1579
01:10:50,646 --> 01:10:51,670
and get rid of them
all at once.

1580
01:10:51,747 --> 01:10:53,214
Do a collective
demon-gathering.

1581
01:10:53,649 --> 01:10:54,741
We just walk up
to people's doors,

1582
01:10:54,817 --> 01:10:55,875
"How you doing?
How you doing?"

1583
01:10:55,985 --> 01:10:57,077
"Can we talk to you
about the Lord today?"

1584
01:10:57,152 --> 01:10:58,881
"We heard y'all got demons
up in there. What's up?"

1585
01:10:58,954 --> 01:11:00,114
Can I get in
the bed with your girl?

1586
01:11:00,189 --> 01:11:03,056
I used to braid hair. I could
actually braid her hair right now.

1587
01:11:03,225 --> 01:11:05,352
I'll be hitting her with
some Allen Iversons and stuff.

1588
01:11:05,527 --> 01:11:08,155
I'll give her some
Sprewells. I'll take it back.

1589
01:11:08,564 --> 01:11:11,032
Let's do
a little exorcism.

1590
01:11:11,233 --> 01:11:13,531
All right,
"Blessed is he

1591
01:11:13,702 --> 01:11:17,365
"who, in the name of
charity and goodwill,

1592
01:11:18,674 --> 01:11:22,110
"shepherds the weak through
the valley of darkness.

1593
01:11:22,311 --> 01:11:26,111
"For he is truly
his brother's keeper

1594
01:11:26,282 --> 01:11:29,115
"and the finder
of lost children.

1595
01:11:29,418 --> 01:11:32,910
"And you will know
my name is the Lord

1596
01:11:33,088 --> 01:11:36,319
"when I lay my
vengeance upon you!"

1597
01:11:36,592 --> 01:11:39,789
<i>Did you just quote
Sam Jackson in Pulp Fiction?</i>

1598
01:11:42,831 --> 01:11:47,325
You got that. You got me on
that. You got me on that one!

1599
01:11:47,503 --> 01:11:48,834
I love Sam Jackson, dawg.

1600
01:11:49,004 --> 01:11:50,665
The Jheri curl will be
dripping and everything.

1601
01:11:50,773 --> 01:11:52,297
Plus, on the plane movie.

1602
01:11:52,441 --> 01:11:54,409
When he was on the plane
and he killed the snakes.

1603
01:11:54,510 --> 01:11:55,977
That's my favorite movie.

1604
01:11:56,045 --> 01:11:57,876
"Enough is enough!

1605
01:11:58,047 --> 01:12:01,141
"I have had it with
these motherfucking snakes

1606
01:12:01,317 --> 01:12:02,875
"on this
motherfucking plane!"

1607
01:12:02,985 --> 01:12:04,953
Hey, all right! That's
what I'm talking about.

1608
01:12:05,120 --> 01:12:06,451
Guys!
All right, all right!

1609
01:12:06,522 --> 01:12:09,082
Exorcism. That's what
we're here for, right?

1610
01:12:09,725 --> 01:12:12,990
Yes, go back to the thing that
got us here in the first place.

1611
01:12:13,162 --> 01:12:14,720
Where we met.

1612
01:12:14,863 --> 01:12:16,922
My man!

1613
01:12:17,099 --> 01:12:21,593
By the powers
vested to me,

1614
01:12:21,770 --> 01:12:24,705
that somebody gave me
while I was locked up,

1615
01:12:24,873 --> 01:12:28,673
from the correctional institution
in Lompoc, that's up north...

1616
01:12:28,844 --> 01:12:33,144
I want the demon that's in you to
come out and holler at a brother.

1617
01:12:33,315 --> 01:12:35,510
Demon, come up
out of Kisha, demon.

1618
01:12:35,951 --> 01:12:37,509
Come out!
Just come out!

1619
01:12:37,686 --> 01:12:38,675
Come up out of Kisha!

1620
01:12:38,754 --> 01:12:39,812
Come up
out of there, demon.

1621
01:12:39,888 --> 01:12:42,448
Come out! Come out!

1622
01:12:42,524 --> 01:12:43,513
Come out!

1623
01:12:43,892 --> 01:12:44,881
Come out!

1624
01:12:44,960 --> 01:12:47,895
Hey! I'm not the one
with the demon, she is.

1625
01:12:48,797 --> 01:12:50,697
We all have demons, Malcolm.

1626
01:12:51,834 --> 01:12:53,802
I know what
you did last summer.

1627
01:12:53,969 --> 01:12:55,061
You better not do this.

1628
01:12:57,373 --> 01:12:58,465
Let her go, she's fat.

1629
01:13:00,342 --> 01:13:02,503
Kisha! Kisha!

1630
01:13:03,312 --> 01:13:05,280
Kisha! Oh, my God.

1631
01:13:09,284 --> 01:13:10,546
Kisha?

1632
01:13:12,521 --> 01:13:13,886
Kisha?

1633
01:13:16,658 --> 01:13:18,319
Oh, hey, buddy,
you made it.

1634
01:13:18,494 --> 01:13:22,362
Grab a finger sandwich,
they're delish!

1635
01:13:22,531 --> 01:13:24,021
About time you
came up in here.

1636
01:13:24,199 --> 01:13:26,633
'Cause there ain't no party
like a mandingo party.

1637
01:13:26,802 --> 01:13:29,362
'Cause a mandingo
party don't stop.

1638
01:13:29,538 --> 01:13:31,836
Drink up, sweetheart.
You need some water?

1639
01:13:31,907 --> 01:13:32,931
Mmm.
You're next, Malcolm.

1640
01:13:33,008 --> 01:13:34,441
Where are you going?
Hey, don't let her down.

1641
01:13:34,510 --> 01:13:35,499
It's her birthday.

1642
01:13:35,611 --> 01:13:36,600
Oh, God.

1643
01:13:36,678 --> 01:13:38,145
Hey, did you find Kisha?

1644
01:13:38,313 --> 01:13:39,507
Uh, no,
she's not in there.

1645
01:13:39,581 --> 01:13:40,570
You sure?
What's going on in there?

1646
01:13:40,649 --> 01:13:41,638
Uh, nothing at all.

1647
01:13:41,717 --> 01:13:42,877
Is that a mandingo party?
No.

1648
01:13:42,951 --> 01:13:45,010
Man, I wanna get
my Kunta Kinte on.

1649
01:13:46,588 --> 01:13:47,816
Kisha?

1650
01:13:49,691 --> 01:13:50,919
Kisha?

1651
01:13:53,729 --> 01:13:54,718
Oh, shit!

1652
01:13:54,797 --> 01:13:55,821
Baby?

1653
01:13:57,232 --> 01:13:59,325
Oh, my God!
What did you do?

1654
01:13:59,401 --> 01:14:00,959
Shit, I did you a favor.

1655
01:14:02,337 --> 01:14:04,669
Oh, my God!
Oh, my God, Rosa!

1656
01:14:04,840 --> 01:14:06,899
I just wanted my
last check, Malcolm.

1657
01:14:07,075 --> 01:14:08,906
Oh, my God,
you shot my housekeeper.

1658
01:14:08,977 --> 01:14:10,444
You mean,
your ex-housekeeper.

1659
01:14:10,512 --> 01:14:12,912
Look, man, the bitch can't be
jumping out on me like that.

1660
01:14:12,981 --> 01:14:14,846
You ain't gonna tell nobody,
right? I got warrants.

1661
01:14:14,917 --> 01:14:16,282
Hurry, she's in here.

1662
01:14:16,351 --> 01:14:17,909
Come on, guys.

1663
01:14:18,086 --> 01:14:19,246
Kisha!

1664
01:14:19,321 --> 01:14:21,289
We got her cornered.
Baby.

1665
01:14:21,423 --> 01:14:23,084
Father, do something.
Oh, my God!

1666
01:14:25,828 --> 01:14:27,557
Man, that demon
is a freak.

1667
01:14:27,729 --> 01:14:29,720
Yeah, the crazy ones
always got the best pussy.

1668
01:14:29,832 --> 01:14:32,130
The moon landing was fake.

1669
01:14:32,201 --> 01:14:33,225
What?

1670
01:14:33,435 --> 01:14:35,869
Biggie and Tupac

1671
01:14:36,038 --> 01:14:37,835
are alive.

1672
01:14:38,407 --> 01:14:41,467
Paul Ryan will be
the next president.

1673
01:14:41,610 --> 01:14:43,407
The demon lies.

1674
01:14:43,579 --> 01:14:44,807
Well, except for
the thing about Tupac.

1675
01:14:44,913 --> 01:14:46,141
He is alive. He's got
a new album coming out.

1676
01:14:46,248 --> 01:14:47,579
What the fuck
is going on here?

1677
01:14:47,649 --> 01:14:49,640
There's an exorcism
happening, people!

1678
01:14:52,554 --> 01:14:54,613
The power of Christ
compels you.

1679
01:14:54,690 --> 01:14:56,715
The power of
Christ compels you.

1680
01:14:56,892 --> 01:14:58,154
What is that, holy water?

1681
01:14:58,260 --> 01:15:01,923
No, it's a new cologne from
Khloe and Lamar. It's unisex.

1682
01:15:02,097 --> 01:15:03,724
I can smell Lamar.

1683
01:15:03,899 --> 01:15:05,332
Get her!

1684
01:15:06,735 --> 01:15:08,430
Baby!

1685
01:15:09,838 --> 01:15:12,102
Oh! She knows some of
that Spider-Man shit!

1686
01:15:14,610 --> 01:15:15,804
Oh, my God!

1687
01:15:15,944 --> 01:15:17,172
It's got me!

1688
01:15:17,346 --> 01:15:19,211
Chip!
I'm afraid of the dark.

1689
01:15:19,381 --> 01:15:21,042
Why do have your
hand on my balls?

1690
01:15:21,216 --> 01:15:23,446
I'm protecting
them from spirits.

1691
01:15:23,619 --> 01:15:24,847
Get off of me!

1692
01:15:25,020 --> 01:15:26,419
There she is!

1693
01:15:26,622 --> 01:15:27,782
She's going to the basement.

1694
01:15:27,856 --> 01:15:31,553
Bobby? Oh, my God!
Bobby, my brother's gone!

1695
01:15:31,693 --> 01:15:32,921
Oh, my God! Let's go!

1696
01:15:33,061 --> 01:15:34,358
Bobby?
Bobby?

1697
01:15:34,429 --> 01:15:35,453
Bobby?

1698
01:15:35,531 --> 01:15:37,396
This is dark. DOUG:
I don't wanna go down here.

1699
01:15:37,499 --> 01:15:40,297
Kisha! Look at
all these weird markings.

1700
01:15:40,402 --> 01:15:42,029
Kisha was here.
She has a sign.

1701
01:15:42,271 --> 01:15:43,761
Bobby!

1702
01:15:45,207 --> 01:15:47,505
Oh, my God! She got Bobby!

1703
01:15:48,844 --> 01:15:50,869
Actually, that's
just Bobby taking a pee.

1704
01:15:51,046 --> 01:15:52,411
What?

1705
01:15:53,048 --> 01:15:54,572
Oh, come on, that's gross.

1706
01:15:54,750 --> 01:15:56,081
Kisha!
Kisha.

1707
01:15:56,251 --> 01:15:57,946
Kisha.
Show yourself.

1708
01:15:58,186 --> 01:16:00,416
Baby? Come on,
you gotta stay close.

1709
01:16:00,589 --> 01:16:03,217
What is this, a Shake
Weight and a Thighmaster?

1710
01:16:03,392 --> 01:16:04,416
Nice.

1711
01:16:04,493 --> 01:16:05,755
Back the train up.
You got a Flowbee?

1712
01:16:05,928 --> 01:16:07,896
Hey, it all looks good
at 2:00 in the morning, okay?

1713
01:16:08,063 --> 01:16:10,088
Hey, look, Malcolm,
one's white and one's black.

1714
01:16:10,265 --> 01:16:11,596
Guess which one you are.
Black one.

1715
01:16:11,767 --> 01:16:14,861
What the hell? Can we just
go find my girl, please?

1716
01:16:14,937 --> 01:16:15,926
Thank you.

1717
01:16:17,573 --> 01:16:19,006
Kisha!
Bobby!

1718
01:16:19,174 --> 01:16:21,165
Would you shut the fuck up?
What are you doing?

1719
01:16:21,343 --> 01:16:22,901
Come on.

1720
01:16:23,946 --> 01:16:25,743
Go, go, go.

1721
01:16:28,383 --> 01:16:29,611
What was that?

1722
01:16:31,620 --> 01:16:33,087
Christ,
that bitch is scary.

1723
01:16:33,555 --> 01:16:34,817
I dropped the camera!

1724
01:16:35,791 --> 01:16:37,224
Fellas?

1725
01:16:40,062 --> 01:16:41,256
Kisha.

1726
01:16:51,640 --> 01:16:55,041
Malcolm? Malcolm?

1727
01:16:56,712 --> 01:17:01,081
It's me, Chip the Psychic.
Malcolm?

1728
01:17:03,719 --> 01:17:05,209
It's me, Chip.

1729
01:17:05,420 --> 01:17:06,478
Yoo-hoo.

1730
01:17:09,124 --> 01:17:12,423
Okay, I found the
camera. What are you guys doing?

1731
01:17:12,527 --> 01:17:13,619
This shit is real, son.

1732
01:17:13,695 --> 01:17:14,753
Yeah.

1733
01:17:14,896 --> 01:17:16,591
Chip, why are you naked?

1734
01:17:16,765 --> 01:17:18,289
What the hell?
Hey!

1735
01:17:18,467 --> 01:17:20,435
It got really hot in here.

1736
01:17:20,602 --> 01:17:22,866
Oh, no. Where's Bobby?

1737
01:17:25,073 --> 01:17:26,301
Found my Walkman.

1738
01:17:27,509 --> 01:17:30,603
Kisha? Baby, are you okay?

1739
01:17:30,746 --> 01:17:32,077
Leave her alone. Don't touch her.

1740
01:17:32,147 --> 01:17:33,375
Why?

1741
01:17:33,482 --> 01:17:35,006
<i>'Cause she's like
that witch in Left 4 Dead</i>

1742
01:17:35,083 --> 01:17:36,573
sitting in the corner
crying like that.

1743
01:17:36,652 --> 01:17:38,313
You touch her,
she gonna attack your ass.

1744
01:17:38,387 --> 01:17:39,979
I can't just
leave her, man.

1745
01:17:40,088 --> 01:17:43,455
Kisha? Baby?
It'll be okay, all right?

1746
01:17:47,062 --> 01:17:49,087
Get off my man, bitch!

1747
01:17:51,433 --> 01:17:53,993
You wanna
fight? Take that, demon!

1748
01:17:54,836 --> 01:17:56,167
Elbow smash!

1749
01:17:56,405 --> 01:17:57,429
Ooh!

1750
01:17:57,973 --> 01:17:59,463
Harder!
Beast!

1751
01:18:00,909 --> 01:18:02,069
Take that, demon!

1752
01:18:02,377 --> 01:18:03,935
Fucking bitch, take that.

1753
01:18:05,480 --> 01:18:06,538
That demon can
take a punch.

1754
01:18:06,615 --> 01:18:07,639
That's enough.

1755
01:18:08,417 --> 01:18:09,884
Baby?
Malcolm.

1756
01:18:10,052 --> 01:18:12,111
I think she's okay.
Maybe not!

1757
01:18:14,623 --> 01:18:15,988
I won't tell on you,
you don't tell on me.

1758
01:18:16,158 --> 01:18:17,147
Understand me?

1759
01:18:17,225 --> 01:18:18,317
You weren't here,
I wasn't here.

1760
01:18:18,427 --> 01:18:19,587
I'll take the blame.
I'll take the blame.

1761
01:18:19,661 --> 01:18:21,720
Okay, good. Hey!

1762
01:18:21,797 --> 01:18:23,230
Man, put some clothes on!

1763
01:18:35,610 --> 01:18:36,975
Hey.
Hey.

1764
01:18:37,145 --> 01:18:39,613
<i>You know what? This Angry
Birds is kind of fun.</i>

1765
01:18:39,781 --> 01:18:41,408
I told you.
I like it.

1766
01:18:41,583 --> 01:18:43,210
Look at you
looking all pretty.

1767
01:18:43,385 --> 01:18:46,786
Oh, this? It's just a little
something I put on for my man.

1768
01:18:46,955 --> 01:18:48,286
Oh, lucky him.

1769
01:18:48,490 --> 01:18:49,923
Oh. Ow...

1770
01:18:49,991 --> 01:18:51,458
Malcolm.
What? What? What?

1771
01:18:51,626 --> 01:18:53,253
My ribs are
still a little sore.

1772
01:18:53,428 --> 01:18:56,295
I'm sorry. We did beat
the hell out of you, girl.

1773
01:18:56,465 --> 01:18:58,330
We was just trying to get
the demon out. I'm sorry.

1774
01:18:58,500 --> 01:19:02,061
No, I'm sorry for bringing
that thing into your house.

1775
01:19:02,237 --> 01:19:03,898
Our house.

1776
01:19:04,506 --> 01:19:05,598
Mmm!

1777
01:19:07,509 --> 01:19:10,808
Malcolm? Is the camera on? Mm-hmm?

1778
01:19:14,416 --> 01:19:15,610
Fine.

1779
01:19:16,151 --> 01:19:17,243
Good.

1780
01:19:19,654 --> 01:19:20,985
Come here.

1781
01:19:22,991 --> 01:19:25,516
Take like
that, take it like that.

1782
01:19:25,694 --> 01:19:27,457
Oh, my God,
I hit the bottom.

1783
01:19:27,629 --> 01:19:30,189
Oh, yeah, take that.
Who's your dirty daddy?

1784
01:19:35,303 --> 01:19:36,827
Oh, God.

1785
01:19:37,005 --> 01:19:39,269
I got a cramp.
Don't touch it.

1786
01:20:25,554 --> 01:20:28,455
Malcolm!

1787
01:20:28,623 --> 01:20:31,251
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I'm coming.

1788
01:20:31,426 --> 01:20:32,586
Shit.

1789
01:20:37,032 --> 01:20:39,262
Malcolm!

1790
01:20:39,434 --> 01:20:42,198
I heard you the first time. Damn.

1791
01:21:16,938 --> 01:21:18,428
She's gone.

1792
01:21:22,043 --> 01:21:24,637
Yeah, baby, I lived!
I lived.

1793
01:21:24,813 --> 01:21:26,940
In your face.
In your face!

1794
01:21:27,115 --> 01:21:28,810
You thought you'd move
into my house and kill me?

1795
01:21:28,984 --> 01:21:30,178
What?

1796
01:21:32,988 --> 01:21:34,717
She's right behind me,
isn't she?

1797
01:23:21,730 --> 01:23:22,856
Oh, yeah.

1798
01:23:23,031 --> 01:23:25,761
We gonna need a wide angle for
some of these aerial tricks.

1799
01:23:25,934 --> 01:23:28,198
All right, I call
this one "The Superman. "

1800
01:23:29,571 --> 01:23:33,007
Pile driver!
Take that. Take that.

1801
01:23:33,308 --> 01:23:34,570
Oh! Oh!

1802
01:23:36,978 --> 01:23:39,071
Can I get you
something to drink, Father?

1803
01:23:39,681 --> 01:23:41,581
Yeah, Hennessy, straight.

1804
01:23:41,750 --> 01:23:43,650
Oh, you got Hpnotiq?
I like to mix them.

1805
01:23:44,252 --> 01:23:46,117
Uh, I was
talking about water.

1806
01:23:46,354 --> 01:23:49,551
Water? I don't drink that
bullshit. What the fuck?

1807
01:23:49,724 --> 01:23:51,658
Yeah, my show is
gonna be huge.

1808
01:23:51,993 --> 01:23:54,860
I'm gonna get my house back.
I'm gonna get a girlfriend.

1809
01:23:55,030 --> 01:23:56,327
I'm gonna be successful.

1810
01:23:56,398 --> 01:24:00,562
Did you just hope
and dream out loud?

1811
01:24:02,037 --> 01:24:04,528
All hopes and dreams are out
loud. That's the camera show.

1812
01:24:05,140 --> 01:24:07,836
Oh, this is called "68,"
and I owe you one.

1813
01:24:08,043 --> 01:24:11,240
You're crazy, girl.
Yeah, I'll fart in your face.

1814
01:24:12,013 --> 01:24:15,107
Take that.
Now we gonna make some love.

1815
01:24:15,283 --> 01:24:16,580
But I ain't gonna
kiss you on your mouth

1816
01:24:16,651 --> 01:24:18,312
'cause I just
farted in your face.

1817
01:24:18,420 --> 01:24:21,685
Here's the thing. A lot of
people think penises are scary.

1818
01:24:21,823 --> 01:24:25,122
They're not, unless it has a
gun. Then that's horrifying.

1819
01:24:25,293 --> 01:24:28,285
90% of penises
don't carry a gun.

1820
01:24:28,463 --> 01:24:30,454
Oh, my God. What?

1821
01:24:30,532 --> 01:24:31,521
That's a fact.

1822
01:24:31,800 --> 01:24:33,665
But I'm gonna tell you this, don't ever,

1823
01:24:33,735 --> 01:24:35,532
ever let a man put
his hands on you.

1824
01:24:35,703 --> 01:24:37,933
Unless he
paying the bills. Aah!

1825
01:24:38,006 --> 01:24:39,837
Domestic violence
is amazing.

1826
01:24:42,777 --> 01:24:45,007
Gonna burn me.

1827
01:24:49,317 --> 01:24:52,718
I'm sorry. Shh. Shh.
Take it.

1828
01:24:53,288 --> 01:24:54,550
Ooh.

1829
01:24:55,857 --> 01:24:57,119
Ooh!

1830
01:24:57,192 --> 01:25:00,787
This is one bad
picture right here, nigger.

1831
01:25:00,862 --> 01:25:04,229
This a fine motherfucker
right here, boy. This is dope.

1832
01:25:04,299 --> 01:25:05,527
You know what
I'd do with this?

1833
01:25:05,600 --> 01:25:07,431
Do you know what
I'd do with this?

1834
01:25:07,502 --> 01:25:10,471
All this area, all this
carpet, this ottoman,

1835
01:25:10,572 --> 01:25:11,664
I'd be all over it.

1836
01:25:11,840 --> 01:25:13,205
What are these?

1837
01:25:13,441 --> 01:25:15,170
Those are my boxers.

1838
01:25:15,343 --> 01:25:16,742
Fascinating.

1839
01:25:17,011 --> 01:25:18,740
Oh, yes.

1840
01:25:19,013 --> 01:25:21,709
His methods are
so unorthodox.

1841
01:25:21,883 --> 01:25:23,851
That's my girlfriend.

1842
01:25:24,052 --> 01:25:25,781
Ah...
Kisha.

1843
01:25:25,887 --> 01:25:28,720
That's a crazy bitch name
all day. You can google it.

1844
01:25:28,823 --> 01:25:32,987
Top five crazy bitch names.
Kisha, Alisha, Djuana.

1845
01:25:33,161 --> 01:25:36,130
You say that out loud, and
you're already scared, right?

1846
01:25:36,264 --> 01:25:37,663
Are you done?

1847
01:25:37,799 --> 01:25:39,562
Let's go.
Let's go save the bitch.

 
 
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