1
00:03:08,720 --> 00:03:12,611
<i>Some people are born
into the wrong time and place.</i>
2
00:03:12,760 --> 00:03:15,923
<i>This was the American
frontier in 1882.</i>
3
00:03:16,080 --> 00:03:18,606
<i>A hard land for hard folk.</i>
4
00:03:18,960 --> 00:03:20,295
<i>Food was scarce,</i>
5
00:03:20,320 --> 00:03:21,935
<i>disease was rampant,</i>
6
00:03:21,960 --> 00:03:25,095
<i>and life was a daily
struggle for survival.</i>
7
00:03:25,120 --> 00:03:28,442
<i>Hell, this was
Miss America in 1880.</i>
8
00:03:28,640 --> 00:03:30,210
<i>Holy shit.</i>
9
00:03:30,920 --> 00:03:34,935
<i>To build a home and a life in
this harsh, unforgiving country</i>
10
00:03:34,960 --> 00:03:39,284
<i>required that a man be bold,
fearless, and tough as iron.</i>
11
00:03:40,520 --> 00:03:43,091
<i>The men who were
courageous and resilient</i>
12
00:03:43,200 --> 00:03:44,775
<i>were the men who prospered.</i>
13
00:03:44,800 --> 00:03:48,441
<i>But some men were
just big, giant pussies.</i>
14
00:03:56,960 --> 00:03:58,485
Well, well.
15
00:03:58,840 --> 00:04:01,047
Surprised you showed up, Stark.
16
00:04:01,200 --> 00:04:03,175
Yeah, well, you said
you would kill my family
17
00:04:03,200 --> 00:04:05,009
and burn my house down
if I didn't, so...
18
00:04:07,640 --> 00:04:08,687
Draw.
19
00:04:10,560 --> 00:04:12,655
Is there anything
at all that I can say
20
00:04:12,680 --> 00:04:14,295
to get you to call this off?
21
00:04:14,320 --> 00:04:15,810
You yellow, Stark?
22
00:04:16,560 --> 00:04:20,495
Okay, well, that's a little
racist to our hardworking friends
23
00:04:20,520 --> 00:04:22,522
over here from the Far
East, right, guys?
24
00:04:24,040 --> 00:04:25,815
Draw, you son of a bitch!
25
00:04:25,840 --> 00:04:28,735
Look, I just feel like if we
can talk this out, you know,
26
00:04:28,760 --> 00:04:31,335
we can find a calm,
rational solution
27
00:04:31,360 --> 00:04:34,135
and maybe we even
laugh about it one day.
28
00:04:34,160 --> 00:04:36,766
I ain't in the mood
to laugh, Stark!
29
00:04:36,880 --> 00:04:38,769
Look, there's
always humor in any...
30
00:04:38,880 --> 00:04:41,135
Hey, look. This will make you laugh.
Look at our shadows.
31
00:04:41,160 --> 00:04:42,655
It looks like our shadows are
about to kiss each other.
32
00:04:42,680 --> 00:04:43,647
Look at that.
33
00:04:43,760 --> 00:04:46,495
Wait, watch this. Oh my god, Charlie.
Oh my god.
34
00:04:46,520 --> 00:04:48,375
Thank you! This is
so generous of you.
35
00:04:48,400 --> 00:04:49,735
Wow! This is...
36
00:04:49,760 --> 00:04:51,335
What a terrific guy you are.
37
00:04:51,360 --> 00:04:53,735
We barely know each other, but, hey,
when it's right, it's right?
38
00:04:53,760 --> 00:04:56,280
I'll give you a little tap on the
hat when I'm good to go, okay?
39
00:04:56,560 --> 00:04:58,815
Look, we're laughing, right?
We're laughing now.
40
00:04:58,840 --> 00:05:00,135
What were we even
fighting about?
41
00:05:00,160 --> 00:05:01,161
I can't remember.
Can you?
42
00:05:03,880 --> 00:05:06,770
Your goddamn sheep grazed
up half my ranch, Stark.
43
00:05:06,920 --> 00:05:08,655
That grass ain't
never gonna grow back!
44
00:05:08,680 --> 00:05:10,295
All right, look.
How about this?
45
00:05:10,320 --> 00:05:12,335
I'll pay you the money
you lost, okay?
46
00:05:12,360 --> 00:05:14,095
Just give me two days
to sell off
47
00:05:14,120 --> 00:05:15,495
a few of my sheep
and I'll get you the money.
48
00:05:15,520 --> 00:05:16,521
All right.
Just two days.
49
00:05:16,720 --> 00:05:20,122
If I don't have that cash,
I'm coming after ya.
50
00:05:20,440 --> 00:05:22,535
Okay, great. Thank you so
much for your patience.
51
00:05:22,560 --> 00:05:24,215
I really appreciate it.
52
00:05:24,240 --> 00:05:26,215
And what a relief
for all these people
53
00:05:26,240 --> 00:05:28,255
who came out here
hoping that we would
54
00:05:28,280 --> 00:05:30,095
find an amicable
solution to this?
55
00:05:30,120 --> 00:05:32,255
Aw, somebody shoot some fucker!
56
00:05:32,280 --> 00:05:34,248
I took a half-day
off work for this!
57
00:05:34,920 --> 00:05:35,935
Okay, I just want to point out
58
00:05:35,960 --> 00:05:37,769
that guy's an English
teacher at our school.
59
00:05:42,200 --> 00:05:44,043
Just a little taste.
60
00:05:57,640 --> 00:05:59,575
I mean, that should
have been the end of it, right?
61
00:05:59,600 --> 00:06:01,135
I mean, I tell him
I'll pay him off,
62
00:06:01,160 --> 00:06:02,615
we go our separate ways,
and that's it.
63
00:06:02,640 --> 00:06:04,290
But, no, he shoots me
in the fucking leg.
64
00:06:04,840 --> 00:06:07,764
I mean, it's just a graze,
but come on, look at that.
65
00:06:12,840 --> 00:06:14,285
What?
66
00:06:15,800 --> 00:06:17,643
You should have fought him.
67
00:06:19,080 --> 00:06:20,809
I should have fought him?
68
00:06:21,280 --> 00:06:22,805
You're serious.
69
00:06:23,160 --> 00:06:25,766
Louise! Oh my god! The guy is one
of the best shots around.
70
00:06:25,880 --> 00:06:28,565
I look like I have Parkinson's next to him.
What is that?
71
00:06:28,680 --> 00:06:32,455
It's just another way God
mysteriously shows that He loves us.
72
00:06:32,480 --> 00:06:34,455
But, look, it would have been
suicide to fight that guy.
73
00:06:34,480 --> 00:06:35,970
Albert, I'm breaking
up with you.
74
00:06:41,320 --> 00:06:42,446
What?
75
00:06:43,480 --> 00:06:45,608
Yeah. I'm sorry.
76
00:06:51,320 --> 00:06:52,685
I got shot today.
77
00:06:53,400 --> 00:06:54,447
I know.
78
00:06:55,480 --> 00:06:56,855
Wait, wait, wait.
Hang on a Sec.
79
00:06:56,880 --> 00:06:58,535
Louise, where is
this coming from?
80
00:06:58,560 --> 00:06:59,840
Is this because of the gunfight?
81
00:07:00,040 --> 00:07:02,935
No, I've actually been feeling
this way for a while.
82
00:07:02,960 --> 00:07:04,775
You're a great guy.
I just...
83
00:07:04,800 --> 00:07:06,245
I realized that
84
00:07:06,360 --> 00:07:08,169
I want something else.
85
00:07:08,360 --> 00:07:10,840
Something else? Louise, it's
been a year and a half!
86
00:07:11,000 --> 00:07:12,975
Look, I know I'm just a sheep
farmer, but I'm saving money...
87
00:07:13,000 --> 00:07:14,975
Yeah, but you're not even a
good sheep farmer, Albert.
88
00:07:15,000 --> 00:07:16,335
Your sheep are everywhere.
89
00:07:16,360 --> 00:07:18,095
The one thing a sheep
farmer has to do
90
00:07:18,120 --> 00:07:20,015
is keep all of his sheep
in one place, all right.
91
00:07:20,040 --> 00:07:21,775
I went to your farm
the other day,
92
00:07:21,800 --> 00:07:23,295
and I saw one in the backyard,
93
00:07:23,320 --> 00:07:24,335
three way up on the ridge,
94
00:07:24,360 --> 00:07:25,695
two in the pond,
and one on the roof.
95
00:07:25,720 --> 00:07:27,015
Okay, that's Bridget, all right?
96
00:07:27,040 --> 00:07:29,175
She has a problem with retardation,
but she's full of love.
97
00:07:29,200 --> 00:07:30,495
Look, we're getting off
track here, all right?
98
00:07:30,520 --> 00:07:33,055
Why don't you just tell
me what the problem is
99
00:07:33,080 --> 00:07:34,255
and then maybe I can fix it?
100
00:07:34,280 --> 00:07:35,735
Maybe if I were older,
101
00:07:35,760 --> 00:07:37,695
the timing would be right.
102
00:07:37,720 --> 00:07:39,775
But people are living
to be 35 these days
103
00:07:39,800 --> 00:07:42,015
and a girl doesn't
have to just go off
104
00:07:42,040 --> 00:07:43,326
and get married right away.
105
00:07:44,160 --> 00:07:46,135
I just, I have to...
106
00:07:46,160 --> 00:07:48,175
I have to work on myself.
107
00:07:48,200 --> 00:07:49,255
Oh my god.
108
00:07:49,280 --> 00:07:50,695
You did not just say that. What?
109
00:07:50,720 --> 00:07:51,895
"I have to work
on myself."
110
00:07:51,920 --> 00:07:53,015
Louise, that's the
oldest line in the book.
111
00:07:53,040 --> 00:07:54,087
You realize that.
112
00:07:54,200 --> 00:07:55,455
You know what,
it's okay, though.
113
00:07:55,480 --> 00:07:56,775
It's all right. I know
why you're saying it.
114
00:07:56,800 --> 00:07:59,215
It's because you don't want to
tell me that I'm the problem.
115
00:08:01,240 --> 00:08:02,890
Goodbye, Albert.
116
00:08:08,560 --> 00:08:10,767
Goodbye? Wait.
Louise. Louise!
117
00:08:12,920 --> 00:08:14,251
I love you.
118
00:08:14,560 --> 00:08:16,403
I'm sorry.
119
00:08:31,080 --> 00:08:34,015
Yeah!
Come on, come on!
120
00:08:34,040 --> 00:08:36,215
Yeah, yeah, yeah!
121
00:08:36,240 --> 00:08:37,775
You like me
fucking you, don't you?
122
00:08:37,800 --> 00:08:40,135
I do.
It's really terrific.
123
00:08:40,160 --> 00:08:43,215
Yeah! Yeah!
124
00:08:49,560 --> 00:08:50,615
Hi, Edward.
125
00:08:50,640 --> 00:08:51,687
Hi, Millie.
126
00:08:51,800 --> 00:08:52,847
You waiting for Ruth?
127
00:08:53,240 --> 00:08:56,449
Yeah, I got off work early, so I
thought I'd take her out for a picnic.
128
00:08:56,560 --> 00:08:59,375
It sounds like
she's just about done up there.
129
00:08:59,400 --> 00:09:02,735
Shoot that dirty
cowboy cum all over my face!
130
00:09:02,760 --> 00:09:03,815
Do I look okay?
131
00:09:03,840 --> 00:09:05,175
Yeah, you look good.
132
00:09:05,200 --> 00:09:06,495
You look good.
Good.
133
00:09:06,520 --> 00:09:08,615
Say, Edward, do you mind
if I ask you something?
134
00:09:08,640 --> 00:09:09,735
Yeah, sure.
135
00:09:09,760 --> 00:09:13,775
You're okay with your girlfriend
screwing 15 different guys every day
136
00:09:13,800 --> 00:09:14,961
and getting paid to do it?
137
00:09:15,520 --> 00:09:17,488
Well, my job sucks, too.
138
00:09:17,720 --> 00:09:20,166
I know. But, I mean,
you repair shoes.
139
00:09:20,960 --> 00:09:22,415
Eddie!
140
00:09:22,440 --> 00:09:23,615
Hi, sweetie.
141
00:09:23,640 --> 00:09:25,615
What are you doing here?
142
00:09:25,640 --> 00:09:27,135
Well, I got off work early
143
00:09:27,160 --> 00:09:29,615
and I thought we could go
for a walk by the stream.
144
00:09:31,280 --> 00:09:32,975
Your breath is...
145
00:09:33,000 --> 00:09:34,206
Ooh! Ooh.
146
00:09:34,320 --> 00:09:36,368
I had to give a blowjob. Sorry.
That's okay.
147
00:09:36,480 --> 00:09:38,562
It's okay. Here, I got you
some flowers.
148
00:09:38,680 --> 00:09:40,523
They're beautiful!
Yeah, come on.
149
00:09:40,640 --> 00:09:42,688
Don't I have the best
boyfriend, Millie?
150
00:09:43,200 --> 00:09:45,407
Honestly, I have
no fucking idea.
151
00:09:45,520 --> 00:09:46,575
Bye!
152
00:09:46,600 --> 00:09:49,615
Hey, Ruthie, Clyde Hodgkins
wanted to come by a little later on.
153
00:09:49,640 --> 00:09:50,687
What did he want?
154
00:09:50,920 --> 00:09:52,126
I think he wants anal.
155
00:09:52,520 --> 00:09:55,335
Honey, we can afford to get
you that new belt for church!
156
00:09:55,360 --> 00:09:56,455
That would be great!
157
00:09:56,480 --> 00:09:57,495
I know!
158
00:09:57,520 --> 00:09:59,045
So, like, 5:30?
Does that work?
159
00:09:59,360 --> 00:10:01,255
That should work.
Yeah.
160
00:10:01,280 --> 00:10:03,089
Well, what time
is his appointment?
161
00:10:03,720 --> 00:10:07,015
It's really not like a
dentist's office here, Edward.
162
00:10:07,040 --> 00:10:08,655
You know, he'll just come by
163
00:10:08,680 --> 00:10:11,160
when he feels like putting
his penis inside an asshole.
164
00:10:11,760 --> 00:10:13,728
Yeah, so we'll
just say 5:30.
165
00:10:13,840 --> 00:10:15,046
Okay.
166
00:10:29,560 --> 00:10:31,403
Shit.
167
00:10:44,760 --> 00:10:45,921
You're late.
168
00:10:46,920 --> 00:10:48,081
For what?
169
00:10:49,080 --> 00:10:50,320
Fair enough.
170
00:11:08,240 --> 00:11:09,571
Albert.
171
00:11:11,320 --> 00:11:12,495
Hey, guys.
172
00:11:12,520 --> 00:11:14,095
We heard about Louise.
173
00:11:14,120 --> 00:11:15,895
That's horrible.
174
00:11:15,920 --> 00:11:17,575
We're so sorry, Albert.
175
00:11:17,600 --> 00:11:18,931
Do you want to sit down?
176
00:11:20,280 --> 00:11:23,204
I'm good. I'm gonna
rest my asshole.
177
00:11:24,120 --> 00:11:27,535
I was just looking at these old
pictures of me and Louise.
178
00:11:27,560 --> 00:11:29,164
This is from the carnival.
179
00:11:29,320 --> 00:11:31,049
Yeah.
180
00:11:31,200 --> 00:11:32,725
There's the town picnic.
181
00:11:34,600 --> 00:11:36,489
This is the square dance.
182
00:11:36,960 --> 00:11:40,175
I almost wish you could
smile in photographs.
183
00:11:40,200 --> 00:11:42,535
Louise has such
an amazing smile.
184
00:11:42,560 --> 00:11:44,483
That'd be weird.
185
00:11:44,760 --> 00:11:46,775
Have you ever smiled
in a photograph?
186
00:11:46,800 --> 00:11:48,375
No, have you?
God, no.
187
00:11:48,400 --> 00:11:50,055
No, you'd look like
an insane person.
188
00:11:50,080 --> 00:11:52,255
But, it's just, you know,
I've been sitting here
189
00:11:52,280 --> 00:11:54,455
trying to figure
out how the hell
190
00:11:54,480 --> 00:11:55,811
I could have screwed this up.
191
00:11:56,480 --> 00:11:58,415
I did everything for her.
192
00:11:58,440 --> 00:12:00,335
If she was happy I was happy.
193
00:12:00,360 --> 00:12:01,930
That's all I cared about.
194
00:12:02,480 --> 00:12:07,575
And she was the one
thing that made the shootings,
195
00:12:07,600 --> 00:12:10,575
and the diseases, and the wild
animals, and the Indians,
196
00:12:10,600 --> 00:12:13,843
and the general depressing
awfulness about the West
197
00:12:15,360 --> 00:12:16,600
bearable.
198
00:12:18,680 --> 00:12:20,887
God, I love her so much.
199
00:12:21,640 --> 00:12:23,165
You're gonna make me cry.
200
00:12:24,320 --> 00:12:26,243
Let's get fucked up.
Yeah.
201
00:12:36,120 --> 00:12:37,360
So, what are you gonna do?
202
00:12:38,840 --> 00:12:40,415
I don't know what I'm gonna do.
203
00:12:40,440 --> 00:12:41,615
Commit suicide, maybe.
204
00:12:41,640 --> 00:12:44,055
Albert, I know everything
seems hopeless right now,
205
00:12:44,080 --> 00:12:46,845
but I promise you, there's
so much to live for.
206
00:12:47,720 --> 00:12:49,175
Really? Is there?
207
00:12:49,200 --> 00:12:52,363
What is there to live for on
the frontier in 1882?
208
00:12:52,520 --> 00:12:53,885
Look, let me tell you something.
209
00:12:54,000 --> 00:12:56,535
We live in a terrible
place and time.
210
00:12:56,560 --> 00:13:00,255
The American West is a disgusting,
awful, dirty, dangerous place.
211
00:13:00,280 --> 00:13:01,335
Look around you.
212
00:13:01,360 --> 00:13:03,975
Everything out here that's
not you wants to kill you.
213
00:13:04,000 --> 00:13:07,495
Outlaws, angry drunk people,
scorned hookers, hungry animals,
214
00:13:07,520 --> 00:13:10,975
diseases, major and minor
injuries, Indians, the weather.
215
00:13:11,000 --> 00:13:12,775
You can get killed just
going to the bathroom.
216
00:13:12,800 --> 00:13:15,855
I take my life in my hands every
time I walk out to my outhouse.
217
00:13:15,880 --> 00:13:17,855
There's fucking rattlesnakes
all in the grass out there.
218
00:13:17,880 --> 00:13:20,215
And even if I make it,
you know what can kill me?
219
00:13:20,240 --> 00:13:22,055
Cholera.
You know cholera?
220
00:13:22,080 --> 00:13:24,128
The Black Shit.
The Black Shit.
221
00:13:24,240 --> 00:13:27,015
The latest offering in the frontier's
disease-of-the-month club.
222
00:13:27,040 --> 00:13:29,735
And even if you survive
all those things,
223
00:13:29,760 --> 00:13:30,935
you know what else can kill you?
224
00:13:30,960 --> 00:13:33,695
The fucking doctor.
The doctor can kill you.
225
00:13:33,720 --> 00:13:35,295
I had a cold a couple of years ago.
I went in there.
226
00:13:35,320 --> 00:13:36,535
You know what he said to me?
He goes,
227
00:13:36,560 --> 00:13:37,695
"You need
an ear nail."
228
00:13:37,720 --> 00:13:39,295
A nail in my fucking ear.
229
00:13:39,320 --> 00:13:40,455
That is modern medicine for you.
230
00:13:40,480 --> 00:13:41,855
"Yeah, Doc,
I have a fever of 102."
231
00:13:41,880 --> 00:13:43,535
"You need
a donkey kickin'."
232
00:13:43,560 --> 00:13:46,775
You know our pastor has shot two people?
Our pastor.
233
00:13:46,800 --> 00:13:47,855
No, no.
No.
234
00:13:47,880 --> 00:13:49,295
Honest to God.
Shot a guy in a duel
235
00:13:49,320 --> 00:13:52,055
and then went back and
killed the guy's teenage son
236
00:13:52,080 --> 00:13:53,975
because he was afraid he would
kill him out of revenge.
237
00:13:54,000 --> 00:13:55,575
Wait, how do you know that?
238
00:13:55,600 --> 00:13:58,175
Because he did a whole
fucking sermon about it!
239
00:13:58,200 --> 00:14:00,655
A lesson about
seeing things through.
240
00:14:00,680 --> 00:14:02,215
By the way, look at this.
See those guys over there?
241
00:14:02,240 --> 00:14:04,375
The guys who work in the silver mines?
See what they're eating?
242
00:14:04,400 --> 00:14:05,735
Ribs doused in hot sauce.
243
00:14:05,760 --> 00:14:08,081
They eat hot spicy foods
every meal of the day.
244
00:14:08,200 --> 00:14:09,295
Do you know why?
245
00:14:09,320 --> 00:14:11,375
Because their palates are so
completely fucking dulled
246
00:14:11,400 --> 00:14:14,135
from inhaling poisoned gas, 12
hours a day, down in the mines.
247
00:14:14,160 --> 00:14:15,495
That's all they can taste.
248
00:14:15,520 --> 00:14:17,135
You know what that kind of
diet does to your guts?
249
00:14:17,160 --> 00:14:19,845
Constipation, cramps,
dyspepsia, liver disease,
250
00:14:19,960 --> 00:14:22,535
kidney disease, hemorrhoids,
bowel inflammation.
251
00:14:22,560 --> 00:14:24,642
They literally die
from their own farts.
252
00:14:29,520 --> 00:14:31,455
And, you want to see more death?
253
00:14:31,480 --> 00:14:34,370
All we got to do is get up
and walk out the front door.
254
00:14:35,320 --> 00:14:36,526
That is our mayor.
255
00:14:36,800 --> 00:14:37,855
He is dead.
256
00:14:37,880 --> 00:14:40,095
He has been lying there,
dead, for three days.
257
00:14:40,120 --> 00:14:41,575
No one has done a thing.
258
00:14:41,600 --> 00:14:44,535
Not moved him,
not looked into his death,
259
00:14:44,560 --> 00:14:46,775
not even replaced him
with a temporary appointee.
260
00:14:46,800 --> 00:14:50,575
For the last three days, the
highest-ranking official in our town
261
00:14:50,600 --> 00:14:52,175
has been a dead guy.
262
00:14:52,200 --> 00:14:54,575
Look at that!
Look at that!
263
00:14:54,600 --> 00:14:58,366
Wolves are dragging the body away
as if to illustrate my point!
264
00:14:58,520 --> 00:15:00,255
Bye! Bye, Mr. Mayor!
265
00:15:00,280 --> 00:15:02,575
Bye! Have fun becoming
wolf shit! Bye!
266
00:15:02,600 --> 00:15:03,601
God!
267
00:15:04,000 --> 00:15:06,207
That, my friends,
is the American West.
268
00:15:06,360 --> 00:15:10,570
A disgusting, awful, dirty cesspool
of despair, and fuck all of it.
269
00:15:10,680 --> 00:15:11,775
Why don't you shut up?
270
00:15:11,800 --> 00:15:12,847
You shut up!
271
00:15:19,480 --> 00:15:22,245
Ruth.
Jesus Christ.
272
00:15:22,440 --> 00:15:24,408
Stop it.
Okay, fine.
273
00:15:24,560 --> 00:15:27,775
At least have Dr. Harper
take a look at it tomorrow.
274
00:15:29,040 --> 00:15:31,615
If you could hear
yourself right now.
275
00:15:31,640 --> 00:15:33,495
You know what's gonna happen
if I go to Dr. Harper
276
00:15:33,520 --> 00:15:36,535
and I say,
"Take a look at that"?
277
00:15:36,560 --> 00:15:39,215
He's gonna say,"
that looks like it hurts."
278
00:15:39,240 --> 00:15:41,815
"Let me give you a blue jay
to peck out the blood."
279
00:15:41,840 --> 00:15:43,251
Maybe you should...
280
00:15:43,560 --> 00:15:45,927
I don't know, maybe you
should try to talk to Louise.
281
00:15:48,840 --> 00:15:50,615
That's a great idea.
Yeah?
282
00:15:50,640 --> 00:15:53,295
That's the jackpot.
That's the jackpot!
283
00:15:53,320 --> 00:15:55,335
I still got it!
Okay.
284
00:15:55,360 --> 00:15:57,442
I have good ideas sometimes.
285
00:15:57,560 --> 00:15:59,324
I didn't mean now!
286
00:15:59,880 --> 00:16:02,804
Hey, hey, dude, you really
shouldn't drink and horse.
287
00:16:12,400 --> 00:16:17,215
No. No. No.
No. No. No.
288
00:16:24,640 --> 00:16:26,642
Yeah, there you...
Okay.
289
00:16:55,840 --> 00:16:58,969
Okay, Curtis.
Curtis, buddy,
290
00:16:59,080 --> 00:17:02,575
I'm gonna be right back.
I'll be right back, okay?
291
00:17:02,600 --> 00:17:04,575
Or not!
292
00:17:04,600 --> 00:17:06,921
No, that's being too ambitious.
293
00:17:15,520 --> 00:17:17,135
Hey. Hey.
294
00:17:17,160 --> 00:17:19,095
Albert, what the hell
are you doing?
295
00:17:19,120 --> 00:17:20,335
Louise, we need to talk.
296
00:17:20,360 --> 00:17:22,375
It's 1:30 in the morning.
We need to talk.
297
00:17:22,400 --> 00:17:24,535
And we need to talk tonight.
What happened to your face?
298
00:17:24,560 --> 00:17:28,895
I got in a fight with an animal
that I could not identify.
299
00:17:28,920 --> 00:17:29,975
Okay, you're drunk.
300
00:17:30,000 --> 00:17:32,455
I'm a smucks-dinnin' drunk.
301
00:17:32,480 --> 00:17:34,735
I don't know what you want
from me, but it's late.
302
00:17:34,760 --> 00:17:35,855
I gotta go.
Louise! Louise!
303
00:17:35,880 --> 00:17:38,255
Louise, please, listen to me.
I love you, okay?
304
00:17:38,280 --> 00:17:39,327
I love you.
305
00:17:39,760 --> 00:17:42,135
And I just think
if we talked this out
306
00:17:42,160 --> 00:17:44,055
that we can get
somewhere and fix it.
307
00:17:44,080 --> 00:17:46,003
Look, Albert, you gotta go.
308
00:17:46,320 --> 00:17:49,775
I'm sure you're right for
somebody else, just not for me.
309
00:17:49,800 --> 00:17:51,006
Okay?
310
00:17:51,480 --> 00:17:52,615
Good night.
311
00:17:52,640 --> 00:17:54,051
Wait, let me just touch you.
312
00:18:03,360 --> 00:18:05,522
You're being a fucking jerk!
313
00:18:07,800 --> 00:18:09,882
Okay, I'll talk to you tomorrow.
314
00:18:11,440 --> 00:18:13,920
You know what?
I heard you fart once.
315
00:18:14,080 --> 00:18:16,128
And it went...
316
00:18:16,320 --> 00:18:19,529
And it was a sharp one.
317
00:18:19,680 --> 00:18:21,855
A little
sharpie poop-toot.
318
00:18:21,880 --> 00:18:23,495
And I heard...
319
00:18:30,960 --> 00:18:33,535
You know what I'm gonna
get with this gold, Plugger?
320
00:18:33,560 --> 00:18:34,855
You know what I'm gonna get you?
321
00:18:34,880 --> 00:18:38,775
I'm gonna get you a big old
stack of fresh-cut steaks.
322
00:18:38,800 --> 00:18:41,335
I bet you'd like that.
323
00:18:41,360 --> 00:18:42,855
What? What's the
matter with...
324
00:18:42,880 --> 00:18:45,175
Settle down, boy.
325
00:18:45,200 --> 00:18:47,695
Come on, boy, hey!
Quiet down, Plugger!
326
00:18:47,720 --> 00:18:49,722
Whoa, mule!
327
00:19:01,960 --> 00:19:03,015
Howdy, folks.
328
00:19:03,040 --> 00:19:04,135
Howdy.
329
00:19:04,160 --> 00:19:06,215
What can I do for you fellas?
330
00:19:06,240 --> 00:19:08,375
Well, we're riding through
to Sherman Creek.
331
00:19:08,400 --> 00:19:11,131
Be obliged if you could
tell us the shortest route.
332
00:19:11,480 --> 00:19:14,290
Yeah, I can help you with that.
333
00:19:14,840 --> 00:19:16,808
I got a map right here.
334
00:19:17,040 --> 00:19:18,087
Yes, sir.
335
00:19:20,080 --> 00:19:22,895
You're on the main road now.
336
00:19:22,920 --> 00:19:26,095
And the main road goes
right through Bullhead
337
00:19:26,120 --> 00:19:28,735
and straight through
to Sherman Creek.
338
00:19:28,760 --> 00:19:31,135
But if you want
the quickest way,
339
00:19:31,160 --> 00:19:33,322
I'd take Bilbee Pass.
340
00:19:33,440 --> 00:19:36,842
Safer, too. Less chance
of bandits and such.
341
00:19:37,440 --> 00:19:38,655
Thank you.
342
00:19:38,680 --> 00:19:40,091
You can keep that.
343
00:19:42,680 --> 00:19:44,842
One more thing
you might do for us.
344
00:19:45,440 --> 00:19:46,575
What's that?
345
00:19:46,600 --> 00:19:48,602
You could show us the gold.
346
00:19:50,120 --> 00:19:52,055
Gold?
347
00:19:52,080 --> 00:19:54,128
I ain't got no gold.
348
00:19:54,440 --> 00:19:55,851
I wish.
349
00:19:56,200 --> 00:19:59,966
Been prospecting up there, but
that stream's about panned out.
350
00:20:00,960 --> 00:20:03,440
Old Plugger and I
done give it up.
351
00:20:03,600 --> 00:20:05,807
We're going on back into town.
352
00:20:06,000 --> 00:20:09,846
Aye. You see, that's...
That's just it.
353
00:20:10,000 --> 00:20:12,731
You're heading back to town
in the middle of the day.
354
00:20:12,880 --> 00:20:16,123
A prospector only does that
when he's found gold to sell.
355
00:20:17,480 --> 00:20:18,481
Show it to me.
356
00:20:18,800 --> 00:20:20,975
No, I swear to you, mister.
357
00:20:21,000 --> 00:20:22,809
I ain't got no gold.
358
00:20:23,320 --> 00:20:26,210
We're just going
into town to get some...
359
00:20:27,320 --> 00:20:28,765
Whoa, whoa, whoa...
360
00:20:29,480 --> 00:20:32,689
Hold on, let me think here a minute.
You do that.
361
00:20:33,360 --> 00:20:36,170
I might just have
a little bit of gold.
362
00:20:38,200 --> 00:20:40,975
Yeah, here it is.
I forgot all about it.
363
00:20:41,000 --> 00:20:42,331
Here, take it.
364
00:20:43,200 --> 00:20:44,486
Pick up your gun.
365
00:20:45,840 --> 00:20:46,855
What?
366
00:20:46,880 --> 00:20:49,884
Well, I'm not just gonna take your gold.
That'd be stealing.
367
00:20:50,440 --> 00:20:53,364
You know what, old timer?
We'll shoot for it.
368
00:20:53,480 --> 00:20:54,975
Clinch.
Shut up.
369
00:20:55,000 --> 00:20:57,241
You just take the gold, okay?
370
00:20:57,400 --> 00:20:59,687
Only a thief would do that.
371
00:20:59,840 --> 00:21:01,815
Are you calling me
a thief, old timer?
372
00:21:01,840 --> 00:21:03,126
No, no, no!
373
00:21:03,240 --> 00:21:05,527
Then pick up your gun.
374
00:21:11,960 --> 00:21:13,325
That's it.
375
00:21:13,640 --> 00:21:15,005
Now point it at me.
376
00:21:24,000 --> 00:21:26,401
We shoot on three.
377
00:21:29,080 --> 00:21:30,206
One.
378
00:21:31,960 --> 00:21:33,007
Two.
379
00:21:36,160 --> 00:21:38,095
God damn it, Clinch!
380
00:21:38,120 --> 00:21:39,535
You didn't have to shoot him!
381
00:21:39,560 --> 00:21:41,015
I know I didn't
have to, sweetheart.
382
00:21:41,040 --> 00:21:43,042
He would've given you the gold!
383
00:21:43,600 --> 00:21:46,285
The point is I had
to ask him twice.
384
00:21:46,920 --> 00:21:48,575
I'm a busy man with a schedule.
385
00:21:48,600 --> 00:21:50,284
You're a son of a bitch
is what you are.
386
00:21:51,720 --> 00:21:55,055
Don't you ever say that
to me in front of my men.
387
00:21:55,080 --> 00:21:57,082
A man's wife will respect him.
388
00:21:57,240 --> 00:21:59,720
Now, let's try that again.
389
00:22:01,280 --> 00:22:02,535
Oh my god, I love you.
390
00:22:02,560 --> 00:22:05,325
I'm, like, the luckiest girl
ever in the history of girls.
391
00:22:05,520 --> 00:22:08,888
That's it.
Now, mount up.
392
00:22:11,360 --> 00:22:12,725
Hey, Clinch.
393
00:22:14,080 --> 00:22:15,695
Take a look.
394
00:22:15,720 --> 00:22:17,480
You'd lose half a day
going through Bullhead.
395
00:22:18,240 --> 00:22:20,607
You, Enoch
and Jordy will ride with me.
396
00:22:21,240 --> 00:22:24,375
We'll take Bilbee Pass
to Sherman Creek Trail.
397
00:22:24,400 --> 00:22:26,575
And make no mistake about the
kind of heat we're going to draw
398
00:22:26,600 --> 00:22:27,931
after we take that stage.
399
00:22:28,440 --> 00:22:30,886
Anna, I'm gonna keep
you out of harm's way.
400
00:22:31,160 --> 00:22:33,575
Lewis, you take Anna
and ride east
401
00:22:33,600 --> 00:22:36,295
and hole up here in, Old Stump.
402
00:22:36,320 --> 00:22:37,375
You got that?
403
00:22:37,400 --> 00:22:39,135
We'll let things cool
404
00:22:39,160 --> 00:22:41,731
for a wee bit and then we'll
come for you in 12 days.
405
00:22:52,960 --> 00:22:54,007
Come on, boy.
406
00:22:55,680 --> 00:22:58,295
Come on, Plugger.
Come on! Yeah!
407
00:22:58,320 --> 00:23:00,055
Good boy!
Let's go!
408
00:23:00,080 --> 00:23:01,764
Oh Jesus Christ!
409
00:23:13,320 --> 00:23:15,527
Well, look who's up at
2:00 in the afternoon.
410
00:23:18,000 --> 00:23:21,129
There's still some pig ass and
sweet cream there if you want it.
411
00:23:24,480 --> 00:23:26,655
I'm gonna use
the outhouse. Um...
412
00:23:26,680 --> 00:23:29,975
If I die out there, will you
guys just do me one favor?
413
00:23:30,000 --> 00:23:32,287
Just once, I want you
to switch seats.
414
00:23:32,880 --> 00:23:34,015
Fuck off.
415
00:23:34,040 --> 00:23:35,201
Okay.
416
00:23:37,520 --> 00:23:39,648
Edward, hey.
What's going on?
417
00:23:40,040 --> 00:23:43,010
Oh my god.
Albert, you look terrible!
418
00:23:43,160 --> 00:23:45,535
Wow, there's that
confidence boost I need.
419
00:23:45,560 --> 00:23:47,244
Thanks a lot.
How you doing, buddy?
420
00:23:47,360 --> 00:23:49,215
Well, honestly, I'm a
little worried about you.
421
00:23:49,240 --> 00:23:51,083
I haven't seen you in town
in a week and a half
422
00:23:51,200 --> 00:23:54,495
and, you know, it seems like you're
just staying in and sleeping all day.
423
00:23:54,520 --> 00:23:57,967
No, I don't
stay home all day. I go out.
424
00:23:58,080 --> 00:23:59,335
You know what I did on Tuesday?
425
00:23:59,360 --> 00:24:01,135
I went out to
Charlie Blanche's ranch
426
00:24:01,160 --> 00:24:02,335
and I paid him
the money I owe him
427
00:24:02,360 --> 00:24:04,055
so he won't shoot me
in the fucking face.
428
00:24:04,080 --> 00:24:05,375
I did that.
That's going out.
429
00:24:05,400 --> 00:24:07,175
Well, that's not really what
I'm talking about.
430
00:24:07,200 --> 00:24:08,855
Okay, look. Here's the
truth, all right?
431
00:24:08,880 --> 00:24:11,055
I just feel like I need to
stay here with my parents.
432
00:24:11,080 --> 00:24:13,095
They're not gonna
be around much longer
433
00:24:13,120 --> 00:24:16,495
and I just want to be able to give
back all the love and affection
434
00:24:16,520 --> 00:24:18,295
that I got growing up.
435
00:24:18,320 --> 00:24:19,575
You know?
Right, guys?
436
00:24:20,880 --> 00:24:22,695
You getting the
fart needles again, Dad?
437
00:24:22,720 --> 00:24:24,165
Never mind what I'm getting!
438
00:24:24,480 --> 00:24:27,855
I love him so much!
439
00:24:27,880 --> 00:24:31,055
Albert, I know you're taking this
breakup really hard, and I understand,
440
00:24:31,080 --> 00:24:32,655
but you got to get
out of this funk.
441
00:24:32,680 --> 00:24:35,251
I mean, you haven't
shorn your sheep in weeks.
442
00:24:39,080 --> 00:24:40,695
Look, you don't know what
this is like, all right.
443
00:24:40,720 --> 00:24:43,255
With all due respect, you have no
fucking clue what this is like.
444
00:24:43,280 --> 00:24:44,975
All right? You're going
home every night
445
00:24:45,000 --> 00:24:46,575
to your girlfriend
who loves you.
446
00:24:46,600 --> 00:24:48,895
You're having sex with
her, and you...
447
00:24:48,920 --> 00:24:52,811
No, Ruth and I have...
We've never done that.
448
00:24:53,720 --> 00:24:55,895
What do you mean you've...
449
00:24:55,920 --> 00:24:58,335
You've never had sex with Ruth?
450
00:24:58,360 --> 00:25:01,603
Yeah. No, no. Yeah.
451
00:25:01,760 --> 00:25:05,321
Wait, doesn't she have sex with, like,
10 guys every day at the whorehouse?
452
00:25:05,440 --> 00:25:07,169
On a slow day, yeah.
453
00:25:07,760 --> 00:25:09,175
But you guys have never had sex?
454
00:25:09,200 --> 00:25:12,363
No. No, Ruth wants to wait
until we get married.
455
00:25:12,920 --> 00:25:15,415
You know, she's a
Christian and so am I,
456
00:25:15,440 --> 00:25:18,808
and we want to save ourselves
for our wedding night.
457
00:25:19,360 --> 00:25:21,815
Edward, have you... Have you
ever had sex with anyone?
458
00:25:21,840 --> 00:25:23,735
Well, there was some shit with
my uncle, but that was...
459
00:25:23,760 --> 00:25:26,764
You know, it's really hard
to remember all that stuff.
460
00:25:27,960 --> 00:25:29,255
You know, yeah, you're right.
461
00:25:29,280 --> 00:25:30,335
Things could be a lot worse.
462
00:25:30,360 --> 00:25:31,415
Yeah.
463
00:25:31,440 --> 00:25:34,135
Um, I'll get out, I'll meet some people.
Yeah, thanks.
464
00:25:34,160 --> 00:25:35,286
Okay.
465
00:25:35,520 --> 00:25:38,364
That came out of my penis!
466
00:25:41,560 --> 00:25:44,095
Man, I see kids everywhere
with those stick hoops lately.
467
00:25:44,120 --> 00:25:46,043
I know. Me, too.
468
00:25:46,200 --> 00:25:47,775
It's got to be bad
for their brains, right?
469
00:25:47,800 --> 00:25:49,415
Yeah, it stunts
their attention span.
470
00:25:49,440 --> 00:25:50,655
I read an article in the paper.
471
00:25:50,680 --> 00:25:53,135
Yeah, I saw that. It's like
they lose the power to innovate
472
00:25:53,160 --> 00:25:54,815
because they're staring
at the stick hoop all day.
473
00:25:54,840 --> 00:25:56,015
Yep.
474
00:25:56,040 --> 00:25:58,495
By the way, they're delivering
the town's ice shipment today.
475
00:25:58,520 --> 00:25:59,655
You want to go watch?
476
00:25:59,680 --> 00:26:01,175
Yeah, that'd be fun. Yeah!
477
00:26:01,200 --> 00:26:03,335
Yeah. It's always a thrill
when you get to see
478
00:26:03,360 --> 00:26:05,135
that much ice all in one place.
479
00:26:05,160 --> 00:26:06,775
Yeah, I think so, too.
I'm really excited.
480
00:26:06,800 --> 00:26:08,211
Edward, Edward, look, look.
481
00:26:13,000 --> 00:26:14,161
Holy shit.
482
00:26:16,080 --> 00:26:17,135
Fucking Foy.
483
00:26:17,160 --> 00:26:19,055
She told me she didn't
want to see anybody.
484
00:26:19,080 --> 00:26:21,015
She told me she had
to work on herself.
485
00:26:21,040 --> 00:26:22,455
Look at that.
486
00:26:22,480 --> 00:26:24,295
Oh my god.
Fucking Foy!
487
00:26:24,320 --> 00:26:25,895
The owner of the Moustachery.
488
00:26:25,920 --> 00:26:27,735
Look at that.
He's kissing her.
489
00:26:27,760 --> 00:26:29,330
- He's frenching her.
- Fucking Foy!
490
00:26:29,440 --> 00:26:31,055
Maybe you should
grow a moustache.
491
00:26:31,080 --> 00:26:32,655
No, I can't afford it.
492
00:26:32,680 --> 00:26:35,135
The creams, the waxes,
the lotions.
493
00:26:35,160 --> 00:26:36,241
I don't have the money.
494
00:26:36,560 --> 00:26:37,655
Fucking Foy!
495
00:26:37,680 --> 00:26:39,535
Hey, Albert, maybe we
should just go to church.
496
00:26:39,560 --> 00:26:40,895
You know, it'll make you
feel a lot better.
497
00:26:40,920 --> 00:26:41,975
Church is not gonna...
498
00:26:42,000 --> 00:26:43,570
Hey, look!
It's the ice!
499
00:26:46,520 --> 00:26:47,855
Why is it so big?
500
00:26:47,880 --> 00:26:49,120
So it doesn't melt.
501
00:26:50,560 --> 00:26:52,175
That's so neat.
502
00:26:52,200 --> 00:26:53,735
I know. It's actually really
interesting how they do it.
503
00:26:53,760 --> 00:26:56,255
It's this one company
out in Boston
504
00:26:56,280 --> 00:26:58,935
that basically
cuts it in big blocks
505
00:26:58,960 --> 00:27:02,495
from frozen lakes and ponds, and
they just ship it all over the...
506
00:27:03,760 --> 00:27:06,135
Oh my god!
Oh my god!
507
00:27:06,160 --> 00:27:08,855
That went south so fast!
508
00:27:12,880 --> 00:27:15,042
And make
no mistake, my children.
509
00:27:15,760 --> 00:27:20,243
There shall be swift and righteous
justice on all free grazers.
510
00:27:20,920 --> 00:27:23,695
No more shall
they nibble wantonly
511
00:27:23,720 --> 00:27:25,535
at the teat of our coffers.
512
00:27:25,560 --> 00:27:28,375
And that's just exactly
like that part in the Bible
513
00:27:28,400 --> 00:27:30,482
that applies to that situation.
514
00:27:30,640 --> 00:27:33,564
I would also like to offer
a heartfelt prayer
515
00:27:34,080 --> 00:27:36,215
to the family of James Addison,
516
00:27:36,240 --> 00:27:38,095
who was killed this morning
517
00:27:38,120 --> 00:27:39,775
while unloading
the ice shipment.
518
00:27:39,800 --> 00:27:42,975
James, we will think
of you lovingly this July
519
00:27:43,000 --> 00:27:45,480
as we sip the cold
summer beverages
520
00:27:45,600 --> 00:27:47,090
for which you gave your life.
521
00:27:47,240 --> 00:27:49,575
They're still
gonna use the fucking ice.
522
00:27:49,600 --> 00:27:51,735
Now, before we end
this morning's service,
523
00:27:51,760 --> 00:27:55,446
I would like to welcome two
new members to our community.
524
00:27:55,600 --> 00:27:58,575
Lewis Barnes
and his sister, Anna.
525
00:27:58,600 --> 00:28:00,415
They've just moved here
to Old Stump
526
00:28:00,440 --> 00:28:02,375
and they plan to build a farm.
527
00:28:02,400 --> 00:28:04,164
And we wish them all the luck.
528
00:28:04,320 --> 00:28:06,735
Well, that concludes
today's service.
529
00:28:06,760 --> 00:28:08,735
So, may God bless you
for another week
530
00:28:08,760 --> 00:28:11,161
and there is a mountain lion
warning in effect.
531
00:28:26,280 --> 00:28:27,295
Hi.
532
00:28:27,320 --> 00:28:28,775
Hey, you.
533
00:28:28,800 --> 00:28:30,415
So, the fair's coming up...
534
00:28:30,440 --> 00:28:33,683
...and I was thinking that we
could go dress shopping later.
535
00:28:34,240 --> 00:28:36,288
I was thinking
you need a new dress.
536
00:28:36,400 --> 00:28:38,215
Something expensive?
537
00:28:38,240 --> 00:28:39,651
Stupidly expensive!
538
00:28:39,920 --> 00:28:41,331
Okay.
539
00:28:52,200 --> 00:28:53,495
Jesus. Wow.
540
00:28:53,520 --> 00:28:54,646
Hi, Albert.
541
00:28:55,800 --> 00:28:57,040
Hello.
542
00:28:57,520 --> 00:28:59,841
What's up, kiddo? Never
seen you in here before.
543
00:29:01,480 --> 00:29:02,970
Just browsing.
544
00:29:03,160 --> 00:29:04,491
Yeah.
545
00:29:04,840 --> 00:29:07,320
You don't have
a moustache, though.
546
00:29:07,480 --> 00:29:10,415
No, I know. I was thinking
about growing one.
547
00:29:10,440 --> 00:29:11,441
I'm sorry, I can't...
548
00:29:11,560 --> 00:29:13,528
I said I was thinking
about growing one.
549
00:29:14,160 --> 00:29:16,401
Excuse me, I have to
use the powder room.
550
00:29:17,520 --> 00:29:21,525
And just what kind of moustache
are you looking to grow?
551
00:29:21,840 --> 00:29:24,081
Um, a big one.
552
00:29:24,480 --> 00:29:26,495
Like one of those
ones that goes down
553
00:29:26,520 --> 00:29:28,495
along the side of my mouth,
554
00:29:28,520 --> 00:29:31,895
and then goes up
the edge of my jaw,
555
00:29:31,920 --> 00:29:35,322
and then becomes my sideburns,
556
00:29:35,480 --> 00:29:38,290
and then becomes my hair.
557
00:29:38,440 --> 00:29:39,575
A Mobius moustache.
558
00:29:39,600 --> 00:29:41,887
Mobius moustache,
that's the one.
559
00:29:42,440 --> 00:29:43,805
Yeah. Um...
560
00:29:44,720 --> 00:29:46,535
You should know
that kind of moustache
561
00:29:46,560 --> 00:29:49,609
is a very costly
facial accessory.
562
00:29:49,800 --> 00:29:50,935
Yeah, I know that.
563
00:29:50,960 --> 00:29:53,335
Well, you're a sheep farmer.
564
00:29:55,600 --> 00:29:57,815
Let me ask you something. You feel
good about what you're doing?
565
00:29:57,840 --> 00:29:59,015
What exactly am I doing?
566
00:29:59,040 --> 00:30:00,855
Stealing a guy's girlfriend.
That's what you're doing.
567
00:30:00,880 --> 00:30:01,975
You feel good about that?
568
00:30:02,000 --> 00:30:03,975
Hey, Louise
dumped you, my friend.
569
00:30:04,000 --> 00:30:06,975
It's not my fault she wanted
someone with more to offer.
570
00:30:07,000 --> 00:30:08,843
I can give her a lavish home.
571
00:30:09,320 --> 00:30:12,855
Warm blankets, wrapped candies.
572
00:30:12,880 --> 00:30:14,775
Can you say the same, Albert?
573
00:30:14,800 --> 00:30:17,929
Can you give Louise
wrapped candies?
574
00:30:18,320 --> 00:30:19,810
You know what?
Fuck you, man.
575
00:30:19,920 --> 00:30:23,003
Yeah, that's what she's doing.
576
00:30:53,000 --> 00:30:54,255
Hey, sweetie.
577
00:30:54,280 --> 00:30:55,415
Hi!
578
00:30:55,440 --> 00:30:57,095
Hi, Mark.
Hey, Ed.
579
00:30:57,120 --> 00:30:59,535
Wow! What a long day!
580
00:30:59,560 --> 00:31:00,735
What happened?
581
00:31:00,760 --> 00:31:05,295
Gosh! Well, like, this one
man wanted me to smoke a cigar
582
00:31:05,320 --> 00:31:08,615
and then ash on his balls
while I'm jerking him off,
583
00:31:08,640 --> 00:31:11,775
and I'm like, "What?
Can I do all that?"
584
00:31:13,320 --> 00:31:14,526
Yeah.
585
00:31:15,680 --> 00:31:17,921
You know, Ruth,
I've been thinking.
586
00:31:18,080 --> 00:31:19,241
About what?
587
00:31:20,600 --> 00:31:21,965
Well, I love you.
588
00:31:22,120 --> 00:31:23,849
Well, I love you, too.
589
00:31:24,000 --> 00:31:26,970
And we've been together
for a long time.
590
00:31:27,480 --> 00:31:28,535
Wh...
591
00:31:28,560 --> 00:31:33,043
What do you think about us
spending the night together?
592
00:31:33,840 --> 00:31:36,969
You mean having sex?
593
00:31:37,160 --> 00:31:38,815
Maybe not right away, you know?
594
00:31:38,840 --> 00:31:41,055
We could maybe lie together
for the first couple of times
595
00:31:41,080 --> 00:31:42,655
and see how it feels,
and then go from there.
596
00:31:42,680 --> 00:31:44,335
But, Eddie, we're Christians.
597
00:31:44,360 --> 00:31:45,975
I know we're Christians
598
00:31:46,000 --> 00:31:48,810
and I want to do the correct
thing in the eyes of the Lord.
599
00:31:49,320 --> 00:31:51,891
But if we really do
love each other,
600
00:31:52,320 --> 00:31:54,209
don't you think God
would be okay with it?
601
00:31:54,520 --> 00:31:56,841
I don't know. I mean...
602
00:31:57,000 --> 00:32:00,135
You're talking
about pre-marital relations.
603
00:32:00,160 --> 00:32:03,615
You've got a little thing right here.
I'll get it.
604
00:32:03,640 --> 00:32:06,246
Oops. Oopsie.
605
00:32:06,440 --> 00:32:07,805
Thank you.
606
00:32:08,480 --> 00:32:09,575
That's it, I'm out.
607
00:32:09,600 --> 00:32:10,601
What?
608
00:32:10,880 --> 00:32:13,326
I'm done. I'm leaving.
I'm going to San Francisco.
609
00:32:14,080 --> 00:32:16,003
What, are you serious?
Because of Louise?
610
00:32:16,120 --> 00:32:19,815
Yes, I'm serious. And, yes,
it is because of Louise.
611
00:32:19,840 --> 00:32:21,135
I don't know how
I lasted this long.
612
00:32:21,160 --> 00:32:23,095
I hate the frontier,
I hate everything in it.
613
00:32:23,120 --> 00:32:24,963
Well, what am I gonna do?
I'm your best friend.
614
00:32:26,120 --> 00:32:29,841
I know. That's... That's why
I want you to have these.
615
00:32:30,960 --> 00:32:32,849
Albert, these are
your favorite socks.
616
00:32:33,200 --> 00:32:34,440
Yeah.
617
00:32:35,680 --> 00:32:37,489
And I want you to have that.
618
00:32:41,560 --> 00:32:43,175
Edward, this is your
lucky handkerchief.
619
00:32:43,200 --> 00:32:44,201
Yeah.
620
00:32:44,560 --> 00:32:46,608
It's sticky.
621
00:32:48,400 --> 00:32:51,095
Well, hello to you, too!
622
00:32:51,120 --> 00:32:53,691
James, I found the friendly locals.
623
00:32:53,880 --> 00:32:57,735
So he said, "Why don't you
go blow your own horse?"
624
00:32:59,080 --> 00:33:00,684
Hey, watch it, pal.
625
00:33:01,320 --> 00:33:03,402
I think you owe
me a drink, fella.
626
00:33:03,560 --> 00:33:05,210
The hell I do.
627
00:33:05,360 --> 00:33:07,010
You best watch where you stand.
628
00:33:07,280 --> 00:33:10,215
I don't think you heard me.
629
00:33:10,240 --> 00:33:11,571
I'm thirsty.
630
00:33:12,240 --> 00:33:15,926
Then why don't you go on down
the river and take a dunk?
631
00:33:17,400 --> 00:33:18,845
Last chance, kid.
632
00:33:44,120 --> 00:33:45,281
Shit!
633
00:33:49,120 --> 00:33:51,202
Albert, hurry!
Get in position!
634
00:33:59,560 --> 00:34:01,615
We got our own thing
going on over here.
635
00:34:01,640 --> 00:34:03,215
Yeah, nobody needs
to get in on this.
636
00:34:03,240 --> 00:34:04,765
We're both getting
hurt pretty badly.
637
00:34:09,920 --> 00:34:11,695
Nobody needs to come over here.
638
00:34:11,720 --> 00:34:13,975
This fight is way more
violent than yours...
639
00:34:14,000 --> 00:34:15,411
All those other guys' fights.
640
00:34:30,120 --> 00:34:31,455
You actually hit me!
641
00:34:31,480 --> 00:34:32,535
I'm so sorry.
642
00:34:32,560 --> 00:34:33,615
You fucker!
643
00:34:33,640 --> 00:34:34,975
I put a new move in there.
644
00:34:35,000 --> 00:34:36,335
You don't just put
a new move in.
645
00:34:36,360 --> 00:34:37,640
That's why we have the meetings.
646
00:34:45,520 --> 00:34:47,295
That's where it hurts.
Like, right there.
647
00:34:47,320 --> 00:34:48,655
Like, right underneath my eye.
648
00:34:48,680 --> 00:34:49,935
Yeah, there's a little red spot.
649
00:34:49,960 --> 00:34:51,695
Careful, it's tender.
650
00:35:12,680 --> 00:35:14,762
Thank you.
Sure.
651
00:35:17,360 --> 00:35:18,521
Shit. Come on.
652
00:35:21,240 --> 00:35:22,241
Whoa!
653
00:35:23,480 --> 00:35:25,015
Sorry about that.
654
00:35:25,040 --> 00:35:27,055
It's kind of a regular
occurrence around here.
655
00:35:27,080 --> 00:35:28,764
Really?
Yeah.
656
00:35:30,320 --> 00:35:33,495
Hey, pretty fast
hands back there.
657
00:35:33,520 --> 00:35:35,695
I guess you're a real hero.
658
00:35:35,720 --> 00:35:39,327
Me? No,
I'm not the hero.
659
00:35:39,480 --> 00:35:42,055
I'm the guy in the crowd making
fun of the hero's shirt.
660
00:35:42,080 --> 00:35:43,535
That's who I am.
661
00:35:43,560 --> 00:35:47,135
Hey, look who's here.
Who's this?
662
00:35:47,160 --> 00:35:48,295
This is Plugger.
663
00:35:48,320 --> 00:35:49,731
Hey, Plugger.
664
00:35:51,440 --> 00:35:54,375
So, that... That was your
brother in there?
665
00:35:54,400 --> 00:35:57,895
Yeah, Lewis. He's always
been a little rambunctious.
666
00:35:57,920 --> 00:36:01,415
Yeah, he seems like a great guy.
I'm Albert, by the way.
667
00:36:01,440 --> 00:36:02,601
Anna.
668
00:36:03,160 --> 00:36:04,535
You guys just got into town?
669
00:36:04,560 --> 00:36:05,686
Yeah.
670
00:36:06,120 --> 00:36:08,215
Welcome to our awesome town.
671
00:36:08,240 --> 00:36:09,575
Thanks.
672
00:36:09,600 --> 00:36:11,895
Lewis and I just came
out from Kansas City.
673
00:36:11,920 --> 00:36:13,331
Kansas.
674
00:36:13,440 --> 00:36:15,215
No, it's in Missouri.
675
00:36:15,240 --> 00:36:17,735
Right. That's
annoying and weird.
676
00:36:17,760 --> 00:36:18,895
We were wanting a change,
677
00:36:18,920 --> 00:36:21,651
so we came out to the frontier
looking to build a farm.
678
00:36:21,920 --> 00:36:23,335
That's what I do.
Really?
679
00:36:23,360 --> 00:36:25,575
Yeah, I got a farm
about 2 miles from here.
680
00:36:25,600 --> 00:36:26,815
Cattle?
681
00:36:26,840 --> 00:36:28,455
No, sheep.
682
00:36:28,480 --> 00:36:30,095
Yep.
683
00:36:30,120 --> 00:36:32,655
Well, that's got to be
fulfilling work, though, right?
684
00:36:32,680 --> 00:36:33,806
Yeah, it's great.
685
00:36:33,920 --> 00:36:37,415
It's like being a dog walker
for 150 really stupid dogs.
686
00:36:38,800 --> 00:36:40,404
- Shit, Plugger!
- My God!
687
00:36:40,520 --> 00:36:42,495
Plugger, give it to me.
Jesus, what is that?
688
00:36:42,520 --> 00:36:44,045
It's the mayor.
689
00:36:46,120 --> 00:36:47,849
Shit!
690
00:36:49,800 --> 00:36:51,370
So, how did you guys meet?
691
00:36:52,320 --> 00:36:55,055
She moved to town
a couple years ago
692
00:36:55,080 --> 00:36:57,367
to take over the schoolmarm job.
693
00:36:58,120 --> 00:37:02,125
Our old schoolmarm got her throat
slit by a fast-moving tumbleweed.
694
00:37:02,640 --> 00:37:04,415
Oh my god!
Yeah.
695
00:37:04,440 --> 00:37:05,695
In front of the kids?
696
00:37:05,720 --> 00:37:07,324
Yeah. Yeah.
All of them.
697
00:37:08,040 --> 00:37:09,295
Let me help you.
698
00:37:09,320 --> 00:37:11,926
That is just painful to watch.
699
00:37:14,400 --> 00:37:18,724
And, you know, it's like the
whole time we were together
700
00:37:18,840 --> 00:37:20,922
I just remember thinking,
701
00:37:21,680 --> 00:37:24,445
"How can I possibly
be this happy?"
702
00:37:25,680 --> 00:37:26,735
"She likes me now,"
703
00:37:26,760 --> 00:37:28,695
"but one day,
she is gonna figure out"
704
00:37:28,720 --> 00:37:30,324
"that she is
too good for me."
705
00:37:31,880 --> 00:37:35,168
And then one day, she did.
706
00:37:36,840 --> 00:37:41,562
I feel like I finally tricked one
girl into falling in love with me and...
707
00:37:43,000 --> 00:37:44,889
and then I lost her.
708
00:37:45,840 --> 00:37:48,366
I think you have this
whole thing upside down.
709
00:37:49,560 --> 00:37:52,175
I mean, it sounds like you've bent
over backwards for this girl,
710
00:37:52,200 --> 00:37:53,655
but what has she given you back?
711
00:37:53,680 --> 00:37:56,295
I told you, she allowed
me to be happy
712
00:37:56,320 --> 00:37:58,615
in a part of the world that
is otherwise a living hell.
713
00:37:58,640 --> 00:38:00,535
"Allowed"? Wow.
714
00:38:00,560 --> 00:38:02,535
That's kind of fucked up that
you would use that word.
715
00:38:02,560 --> 00:38:04,005
You know that, right?
716
00:38:04,880 --> 00:38:08,535
All I know is that there
is nothing for me out here
717
00:38:08,560 --> 00:38:09,891
if I don't have her.
718
00:38:11,600 --> 00:38:12,931
Well,
719
00:38:13,360 --> 00:38:16,215
if this Foy guy is
that much of a douche,
720
00:38:16,240 --> 00:38:18,527
she'll figure it out
if she's smart.
721
00:38:19,560 --> 00:38:22,135
Sometimes a girl has to get a
few assholes out of her system
722
00:38:22,160 --> 00:38:24,695
before she realizes what
a good guy looks like.
723
00:38:24,720 --> 00:38:25,846
Maybe.
724
00:38:30,840 --> 00:38:32,569
You okay?
725
00:38:32,800 --> 00:38:36,055
This is actually
my first cigarette ever.
726
00:38:36,080 --> 00:38:38,128
Oh my god.
727
00:38:42,600 --> 00:38:44,375
Oh shit.
Diamondback.
728
00:38:44,400 --> 00:38:46,095
It's a diamondback, yeah. Fuck.
729
00:38:46,120 --> 00:38:48,895
It's okay, just hold perfectly
still, and it'll go away.
730
00:38:48,920 --> 00:38:50,251
Okay, okay.
731
00:38:53,720 --> 00:38:56,735
I don't think you
should leave tomorrow.
732
00:38:56,760 --> 00:38:58,735
At least stay through
the weekend.
733
00:38:58,760 --> 00:39:00,250
Isn't the fair on Saturday?
734
00:39:00,440 --> 00:39:03,655
Fuck that. I'm not
going to the stupid fair.
735
00:39:03,680 --> 00:39:05,895
Louise is gonna be there,
and she's gonna be with Foy.
736
00:39:05,920 --> 00:39:07,255
I don't want to
put myself through
737
00:39:07,280 --> 00:39:08,735
that kind of
fucking aggravation.
738
00:39:08,760 --> 00:39:10,975
Yeah, well, I'll go with you.
739
00:39:11,000 --> 00:39:13,415
No better way to make your
ex-girlfriend want you back more
740
00:39:13,440 --> 00:39:15,442
than to let her see
you with another girl.
741
00:39:15,760 --> 00:39:16,886
I don't know.
742
00:39:17,000 --> 00:39:19,735
Especially a
smoking-hot girl.
743
00:39:19,760 --> 00:39:23,175
When she sees me, she'll
be intimidated as fuck.
744
00:39:23,200 --> 00:39:25,055
You're very modest, I see.
745
00:39:25,080 --> 00:39:28,015
I'm a little cocky.
But I got great tits.
746
00:39:29,600 --> 00:39:31,375
Sorry. Sorry, sir.
747
00:39:31,400 --> 00:39:33,641
Sorry, sir.
Sorry, sir.
748
00:39:57,240 --> 00:40:00,005
Barnes, wake up.
Brought you a visitor.
749
00:40:02,920 --> 00:40:05,082
You stupid son of a bitch.
750
00:40:05,240 --> 00:40:07,295
You shot the pastor's son.
751
00:40:07,320 --> 00:40:09,215
You realize they're probably
gonna hang you for this?
752
00:40:09,240 --> 00:40:11,641
Who gives a fuck what they want?
753
00:40:13,560 --> 00:40:16,815
When Clinch gets into town, it's
not gonna matter what they do.
754
00:40:16,840 --> 00:40:17,975
He'll bust me out
755
00:40:18,000 --> 00:40:20,685
and anyone who tries to stop
him is gonna be a dead man.
756
00:40:25,480 --> 00:40:27,881
You know, one of these days
757
00:40:28,520 --> 00:40:31,455
there's gonna be a man
who's faster than Clinch
758
00:40:31,480 --> 00:40:34,404
and tougher, and stronger.
759
00:40:34,800 --> 00:40:37,895
And then Clinch is
gonna be the dead man.
760
00:40:37,920 --> 00:40:40,615
And I'm gonna smoke a
fucking cigar to celebrate.
761
00:40:40,640 --> 00:40:44,247
I don't think Clinch would
like you talking about him that way.
762
00:40:45,040 --> 00:40:48,010
Not a nice thing for a man's
wife to say about her husband.
763
00:40:48,240 --> 00:40:50,375
Yeah, well,
764
00:40:50,400 --> 00:40:53,688
let's see if he gets here before you
find yourself at the end of a rope.
765
00:40:56,320 --> 00:40:57,367
Tick-tock.
766
00:41:21,760 --> 00:41:23,215
No, no, no.
No, no, no, no!
767
00:41:23,240 --> 00:41:24,535
Guys, no, no, no.
768
00:41:24,560 --> 00:41:26,801
Andrew, Jonathan, no.
Go, go, go. Go home.
769
00:41:30,240 --> 00:41:31,241
Hey, sheep boy.
770
00:41:32,200 --> 00:41:33,281
Hey.
771
00:41:33,920 --> 00:41:37,208
Jesus, are you okay? I heard about
your brother getting arrested.
772
00:41:37,880 --> 00:41:40,884
Yeah, I'm fine.
And listen, Albert.
773
00:41:41,040 --> 00:41:43,015
Don't worry about Lewis, okay?
774
00:41:43,040 --> 00:41:46,010
Anything that happens to him right
now is his own fault. Got it?
775
00:41:46,440 --> 00:41:48,135
Yeah. Whatever
you say, sure.
776
00:41:48,160 --> 00:41:51,243
Good. Let's hit this fair, because
you know what I wanna do?
777
00:41:51,360 --> 00:41:53,169
Eat hot food in
100-degree weather?
778
00:41:53,280 --> 00:41:55,935
No, get my picture taken.
I've never done it before.
779
00:41:55,960 --> 00:41:57,610
That's horse shit.
No, it's the truth.
780
00:41:57,720 --> 00:41:59,695
No, that's horse shit. Whoa!
That is horse shit.
781
00:41:59,720 --> 00:42:01,961
Okay. All right.
782
00:42:27,800 --> 00:42:29,723
Okay, everybody hold still!
783
00:42:31,200 --> 00:42:33,095
You know, supposedly,
there's some guy in Texas
784
00:42:33,120 --> 00:42:34,963
who smiled one time while he
was getting his picture taken.
785
00:42:35,400 --> 00:42:36,890
Shut the fuck up.
Are you serious?
786
00:42:37,080 --> 00:42:39,082
We were just talking about that last week.
Is that true?
787
00:42:39,200 --> 00:42:42,615
I don't know. I mean, I heard it somewhere.
I don't know if it's true.
788
00:42:42,640 --> 00:42:45,325
Yeah, it sounds like the kind of
bullshit somebody would make up.
789
00:42:45,720 --> 00:42:48,007
Okay. Everybody
hold still.
790
00:42:54,040 --> 00:42:56,015
Oh my god!
Holy shit!
791
00:42:58,600 --> 00:42:59,931
Hold still!
792
00:43:01,880 --> 00:43:03,775
God! This fucking fair!
793
00:43:03,800 --> 00:43:05,175
Every year, something
like this happens.
794
00:43:05,200 --> 00:43:06,335
Every year, people die.
795
00:43:06,360 --> 00:43:07,815
Really?
Every year.
796
00:43:07,840 --> 00:43:08,975
Last year, there were
two gunfights,
797
00:43:09,000 --> 00:43:10,935
there was a knife fight,
a stage collapsed,
798
00:43:10,960 --> 00:43:12,564
there was a drowning,
and the Indians attacked.
799
00:43:12,680 --> 00:43:15,251
God, why are the Indians always so mad?
I don't know.
800
00:43:15,360 --> 00:43:17,855
I mean, we're basically splitting
this country 50-50 with them.
801
00:43:17,880 --> 00:43:19,211
They're just selfish.
802
00:43:21,840 --> 00:43:23,695
Ladies and gentlemen!
803
00:43:23,720 --> 00:43:26,175
Step right up, step right up!
804
00:43:26,200 --> 00:43:27,455
Try a sample of...
805
00:43:27,480 --> 00:43:30,015
Sir and madam, may I
divert your attention
806
00:43:30,040 --> 00:43:31,735
over here just for a moment?
807
00:43:31,760 --> 00:43:35,495
Welcome, welcome. Can I
interest you in a miracle cure?
808
00:43:35,520 --> 00:43:38,095
I have only the finest
healing tonics and elixirs
809
00:43:38,120 --> 00:43:40,566
procured from the farthest
corners of the globe.
810
00:43:40,680 --> 00:43:43,335
"Ogden's Celebrated
Stomach Bitters."
811
00:43:43,360 --> 00:43:45,455
Can I just ask,
celebrated by who?
812
00:43:45,480 --> 00:43:47,335
Who's celebrating
about stomach bitters?
813
00:43:47,360 --> 00:43:48,935
God. Look at
the ingredients.
814
00:43:48,960 --> 00:43:52,255
"Cocaine, alcohol, morphine,
mercury with chalk."
815
00:43:52,280 --> 00:43:54,535
What the hell is
"mercury with chalk"?
816
00:43:54,560 --> 00:43:55,655
Science!
817
00:43:55,680 --> 00:43:57,375
And "red flannel."
818
00:43:57,400 --> 00:43:59,575
Red flannel?
There's shirt in here?
819
00:43:59,600 --> 00:44:00,815
Pieces of shirt.
820
00:44:00,840 --> 00:44:02,285
Okay, thank you very much.
821
00:44:02,760 --> 00:44:04,335
Would you like to try?
822
00:44:04,360 --> 00:44:05,935
- Oh my god.
- What?
823
00:44:05,960 --> 00:44:07,935
That's them. That's them.
824
00:44:07,960 --> 00:44:10,415
Quick, pretend you just
said something funny to me.
825
00:44:10,440 --> 00:44:13,295
Oh my god! You are...
You are so hilarious!
826
00:44:13,320 --> 00:44:15,015
Where do you come up...
No, shit!
827
00:44:15,040 --> 00:44:16,335
You pretend I said
something funny.
828
00:44:16,360 --> 00:44:17,575
Albert, stop. Stop.
829
00:44:17,600 --> 00:44:18,895
Just introduce me.
Come on.
830
00:44:18,920 --> 00:44:20,055
I'm not gonna introduce you...
831
00:44:20,080 --> 00:44:22,606
Oh hi!
Hey.
832
00:44:22,720 --> 00:44:26,088
Foy and Louise, right?
833
00:44:26,200 --> 00:44:27,440
That's right.
834
00:44:27,560 --> 00:44:29,775
This is Anna.
She's...
835
00:44:29,800 --> 00:44:31,802
I'm his girlfriend.
She's my girlfriend.
836
00:44:32,000 --> 00:44:34,855
She's the new GF.
Big time.
837
00:44:34,880 --> 00:44:36,735
A lot of sexual activity.
838
00:44:36,760 --> 00:44:40,775
All the time.
I live inside her.
839
00:44:40,800 --> 00:44:42,255
So, if you want
to send me a letter,
840
00:44:42,280 --> 00:44:45,807
you gotta address it
care of her vagina.
841
00:44:46,440 --> 00:44:47,441
Yep.
842
00:44:48,000 --> 00:44:49,095
I have that skirt.
843
00:44:49,120 --> 00:44:50,690
You do?
844
00:44:51,080 --> 00:44:53,175
Yeah, I wore it to the
fair, like, two years ago.
845
00:44:53,200 --> 00:44:54,960
But good for you for
trying to bring it back.
846
00:44:55,360 --> 00:44:57,575
Well, I figure only
a complete idiot
847
00:44:57,600 --> 00:44:59,728
would throw away
a perfectly good thing.
848
00:45:00,480 --> 00:45:02,608
We were gonna go check out the
shooting gallery over there.
849
00:45:02,720 --> 00:45:03,975
You guys wanna join?
What?
850
00:45:04,000 --> 00:45:05,126
Yeah, it'd be fun, right?
851
00:45:05,480 --> 00:45:07,855
Yes, and let's make
things interesting.
852
00:45:07,880 --> 00:45:09,450
A nickel a target.
853
00:45:10,320 --> 00:45:13,295
You know, that's actually,
a little rich for my blood.
854
00:45:13,320 --> 00:45:14,655
How about a penny?
855
00:45:14,680 --> 00:45:18,401
What's the matter, Albert? Is
business bad?
856
00:45:21,400 --> 00:45:23,615
No, no. A penny it is.
857
00:45:23,640 --> 00:45:26,564
Good Lord, Albert, you're
such a "sheepskate."
858
00:45:26,760 --> 00:45:29,161
Wow!
859
00:45:29,920 --> 00:45:31,855
Let's go, Louise.
You can "shear" me on.
860
00:45:31,880 --> 00:45:33,848
No, I didn't!
861
00:45:33,960 --> 00:45:36,135
- You're so funny, baby.
- Thank you.
862
00:45:36,160 --> 00:45:37,295
Shall we?
863
00:45:37,320 --> 00:45:38,415
Come on.
864
00:45:38,440 --> 00:45:39,455
Wait, wait, no, no.
865
00:45:39,480 --> 00:45:40,720
There you are, my good man.
866
00:45:40,840 --> 00:45:42,001
Indeed.
867
00:45:42,600 --> 00:45:44,887
Wow. That seems unnecessary.
868
00:45:46,040 --> 00:45:48,566
What's wrong with ducks
or rabbits or something?
869
00:46:03,280 --> 00:46:06,015
Six shots, six hits.
Quite the marksman!
870
00:46:06,040 --> 00:46:07,375
There you go, ma'am.
871
00:46:07,400 --> 00:46:09,164
Thank you, baby.
872
00:46:12,400 --> 00:46:13,526
Care to try?
873
00:46:17,560 --> 00:46:19,244
You got it.
874
00:46:20,280 --> 00:46:21,930
Just breathe.
875
00:46:35,280 --> 00:46:38,055
Seems you owe me
six cents, sheep herder.
876
00:46:38,080 --> 00:46:39,575
Yeah, yeah, I know.
877
00:46:39,600 --> 00:46:41,204
Jesus.
878
00:46:41,720 --> 00:46:43,210
Wait. Hang on a Sec.
879
00:46:43,640 --> 00:46:45,051
You wanna make this interesting?
880
00:46:46,040 --> 00:46:49,055
If I can shoot six out of six on
Albert's behalf, you owe him a dollar.
881
00:46:49,080 --> 00:46:50,161
If I can't,
882
00:46:50,960 --> 00:46:52,855
he owes you a dollar.
Wait, what?
883
00:46:52,880 --> 00:46:54,615
A dollar?
I've never seen a dollar.
884
00:46:54,640 --> 00:46:55,695
Nobody's got a dollar!
885
00:46:55,720 --> 00:46:56,855
Let us see the dollar!
886
00:46:56,880 --> 00:46:59,015
Well, this is interesting.
887
00:46:59,040 --> 00:47:02,681
All right.
Do your best, ma'am.
888
00:47:05,240 --> 00:47:06,895
How fast can this thing go?
889
00:47:06,920 --> 00:47:10,455
You can play double or triple
speeds, but that's for the experts.
890
00:47:10,480 --> 00:47:11,481
As fast as you can.
891
00:47:23,080 --> 00:47:24,935
Holy shit!
892
00:47:24,960 --> 00:47:26,455
Congratulations!
893
00:47:26,480 --> 00:47:28,323
You're a winner!
894
00:47:28,600 --> 00:47:29,931
Thank you.
895
00:47:30,680 --> 00:47:32,364
Come on, you owe him a dollar.
896
00:47:37,280 --> 00:47:38,335
There it is!
897
00:47:38,360 --> 00:47:39,415
It's beautiful!
898
00:47:39,440 --> 00:47:41,488
Take your hat off, boy.
That's a dollar bill!
899
00:47:44,840 --> 00:47:48,415
Well, a man whose girlfriend
does his shooting for him.
900
00:47:48,440 --> 00:47:50,727
Isn't that a fine
how-do-you-do?
901
00:47:53,680 --> 00:47:56,815
I said, "Isn't that
a fine how-do-you-do?"
902
00:48:00,480 --> 00:48:02,975
How is that funny?
What's funny about that?
903
00:48:03,000 --> 00:48:04,935
"How do you do" is a greeting.
Why is that funny?
904
00:48:04,960 --> 00:48:06,246
You, why are you laughing?
905
00:48:06,560 --> 00:48:09,086
I don't know.
He was laughing.
906
00:48:10,480 --> 00:48:13,215
It seems your ex-boyfriend
doesn't have a sense of humor.
907
00:48:13,240 --> 00:48:14,735
I can see why you dumped him.
908
00:48:14,760 --> 00:48:15,966
Hey!
909
00:48:16,520 --> 00:48:18,295
You wanna back up
that attitude, asshole?
910
00:48:18,320 --> 00:48:19,535
You are kidding.
911
00:48:19,560 --> 00:48:22,215
Never been more serious in my life.
You and me, pistols.
912
00:48:22,240 --> 00:48:23,695
You wouldn't have
a prayer, kiddo.
913
00:48:23,720 --> 00:48:25,455
Tomorrow, 8:00 a.m.,
sharp.
914
00:48:25,480 --> 00:48:27,295
All right, challenge accepted!
915
00:48:27,320 --> 00:48:29,295
Gosh.
Tomorrow is bad for me,
916
00:48:29,320 --> 00:48:30,651
and I really wanna be there.
917
00:48:31,160 --> 00:48:33,215
Why don't we say
a week from today?
918
00:48:33,240 --> 00:48:34,765
That works for you,
right, Albert?
919
00:48:35,480 --> 00:48:38,375
Yeah, yeah, that's fine.
A week from today.
920
00:48:38,400 --> 00:48:41,085
I got sheep stuff I gotta
do tomorrow, anyway.
921
00:48:41,880 --> 00:48:43,166
One week.
922
00:48:43,600 --> 00:48:44,735
Come on, Louise.
923
00:48:44,760 --> 00:48:47,495
I'll buy you some
sugared butter shavings.
924
00:48:52,560 --> 00:48:54,495
Oh shit!
925
00:48:54,520 --> 00:48:55,655
Wow.
926
00:48:55,680 --> 00:48:57,975
What the fuck did I just do?
927
00:48:58,000 --> 00:49:01,175
You just challenged
Foy to a gunfight.
928
00:49:01,200 --> 00:49:02,415
I have no idea
what just happened.
929
00:49:02,440 --> 00:49:04,055
I was, like, out of my body.
930
00:49:04,080 --> 00:49:06,375
Albert, did you see
the look on Louise's face?
931
00:49:06,400 --> 00:49:07,495
No. Why?
932
00:49:07,520 --> 00:49:10,364
She was aroused.
She was impressed.
933
00:49:10,520 --> 00:49:13,575
You had a fire in your belly
for a second there, pal.
934
00:49:13,600 --> 00:49:15,495
Bet you never showed
her that side before.
935
00:49:15,520 --> 00:49:17,295
Yeah, I don't have
that side to me.
936
00:49:17,320 --> 00:49:19,015
I honestly don't know
what just happened.
937
00:49:19,040 --> 00:49:20,855
Albert, you got her attention.
938
00:49:20,880 --> 00:49:22,335
You beat this guy at a gunfight,
939
00:49:22,360 --> 00:49:24,495
I bet she thinks twice
about dumping you.
940
00:49:24,520 --> 00:49:26,175
Anna, I can't be in a gunfight.
941
00:49:26,200 --> 00:49:27,215
What am I,
Clinch Leatherwood here?
942
00:49:27,240 --> 00:49:28,571
I'll get killed!
Whoa!
943
00:49:29,200 --> 00:49:30,486
Why would you say that?
944
00:49:31,320 --> 00:49:34,375
Because he's the most vicious
gunfighter in the territory,
945
00:49:34,400 --> 00:49:35,495
which I am not!
946
00:49:35,520 --> 00:49:38,455
No, you're not
Clinch Leatherwood.
947
00:49:38,480 --> 00:49:39,925
You're gonna be okay, Albert.
948
00:49:40,080 --> 00:49:42,695
That week I just bought you is enough
time for me to teach you how to shoot.
949
00:49:42,720 --> 00:49:43,775
You'll be fine.
950
00:49:43,800 --> 00:49:45,095
Yeah, by the way,
that's another thing.
951
00:49:45,120 --> 00:49:47,095
How the fuck can
you shoot like that?
952
00:49:47,120 --> 00:49:48,575
Who the hell are you?
953
00:49:48,600 --> 00:49:52,047
My father was a gun maker. I could
shoot a gun before I could walk.
954
00:49:52,440 --> 00:49:55,415
Whatever. I'm sick to my stomach.
My stomach is in knots.
955
00:49:55,440 --> 00:49:57,375
You're worked up, that's what it is.
Let's get a drink.
956
00:49:57,400 --> 00:49:58,535
Come on.
957
00:49:58,560 --> 00:50:00,895
Hey! It's our sweet
young couple.
958
00:50:00,920 --> 00:50:03,764
Could I interest you folks
in some Wildroot Cream-Oil?
959
00:50:11,760 --> 00:50:14,445
People die at the fair.
960
00:50:31,120 --> 00:50:33,655
Okay, so you're gonna
take your right thumb,
961
00:50:33,680 --> 00:50:35,175
put it all the way to the left.
962
00:50:35,200 --> 00:50:37,935
Cross it over,
cradle it right in there,
963
00:50:37,960 --> 00:50:39,415
and then just extend it
straight through your...
964
00:50:39,440 --> 00:50:41,015
Like that?
Straight.
965
00:50:41,040 --> 00:50:43,441
Wow, you've never
fired a gun before.
966
00:50:43,560 --> 00:50:45,335
I... I have not.
I own a gun.
967
00:50:45,360 --> 00:50:47,135
No, I fired a gun at
the shooting gallery.
968
00:50:47,160 --> 00:50:49,255
Yeah, but those were quarter loads.
These are full loads.
969
00:50:49,280 --> 00:50:53,135
Okay, all right, get ready. I'm about
to shoot a full load at your cans.
970
00:50:53,160 --> 00:50:55,175
Shut the fuck up and focus.
971
00:50:55,200 --> 00:50:56,281
All right. Okay.
972
00:51:05,040 --> 00:51:06,095
This is never gonna work.
973
00:51:06,120 --> 00:51:07,884
This is not working.
It's gonna work.
974
00:51:08,000 --> 00:51:10,241
It's gonna work and Louise is
gonna come running back to you.
975
00:51:10,360 --> 00:51:12,727
How the hell do you get these things out?
976
00:51:12,840 --> 00:51:15,491
I'm sitting there
jerking that thing off.
977
00:51:18,520 --> 00:51:20,535
Hey, why are you
being so nice to me?
978
00:51:20,560 --> 00:51:21,815
What do you mean?
979
00:51:21,840 --> 00:51:24,135
Well, I mean, you show
up out of nowhere.
980
00:51:24,160 --> 00:51:28,404
You're this complete anomaly in my
world of terribleness out here.
981
00:51:28,520 --> 00:51:31,285
I mean, you must have a million
better things to do than this.
982
00:51:31,400 --> 00:51:33,615
What, I can't make a new friend?
983
00:51:33,640 --> 00:51:35,775
You sure look like
you could use one.
984
00:51:35,800 --> 00:51:38,975
I guess. I mean, I just... I just
don't know anything about you.
985
00:51:39,000 --> 00:51:40,975
Well, can I ask you
something about you?
986
00:51:41,000 --> 00:51:42,161
Yeah, sure.
987
00:51:43,480 --> 00:51:45,005
Why do you love Louise?
988
00:51:46,680 --> 00:51:49,655
I mean, take your pick.
She's...
989
00:51:49,680 --> 00:51:51,175
I feel great when I'm with her.
990
00:51:51,200 --> 00:51:55,175
She's classy, she's fun,
she's insanely gorgeous.
991
00:51:55,200 --> 00:51:58,015
Hey, no. Look,
she's really pretty, yes.
992
00:51:58,040 --> 00:51:59,815
But honestly, and I'm
sorry to say this,
993
00:51:59,840 --> 00:52:01,935
I don't see what else
she's got going for her.
994
00:52:01,960 --> 00:52:05,655
My impression was that she was a
little sour and self-absorbed.
995
00:52:05,680 --> 00:52:07,735
And for a guy with
so much going for him,
996
00:52:07,760 --> 00:52:09,015
I just thought that maybe you...
997
00:52:09,040 --> 00:52:11,335
I don't know what you think
I have going for me, but...
998
00:52:11,360 --> 00:52:12,855
You see?
There you go again,
999
00:52:12,880 --> 00:52:14,006
just cutting yourself down.
1000
00:52:14,120 --> 00:52:15,855
You act like this girl
was performing
1001
00:52:15,880 --> 00:52:18,015
some kind of a charitable
act by dating you.
1002
00:52:18,040 --> 00:52:19,415
Albert, you're a catch.
1003
00:52:19,440 --> 00:52:21,761
You're sweet, you're
funny, you're smart.
1004
00:52:21,880 --> 00:52:23,735
You've made something
of yourself out here.
1005
00:52:23,760 --> 00:52:25,335
You know, a lot of
people can't say that.
1006
00:52:25,360 --> 00:52:26,855
You're a good sheep farmer.
1007
00:52:26,880 --> 00:52:29,495
Oh my god, please.
I suck at sheep.
1008
00:52:29,520 --> 00:52:31,055
Louise was right.
I can't keep track of them.
1009
00:52:31,080 --> 00:52:32,815
There was a sheep in the
whorehouse last week.
1010
00:52:32,840 --> 00:52:34,215
Really?
Yeah.
1011
00:52:34,240 --> 00:52:36,129
Wandered in there, and then
when I went to pick it up,
1012
00:52:36,240 --> 00:52:38,368
somehow, it had made $20.
1013
00:52:41,560 --> 00:52:45,855
But, you know, thank you
anyway for what you said.
1014
00:52:45,880 --> 00:52:48,735
Look, the West fucking sucks,
1015
00:52:48,760 --> 00:52:50,410
but the frontier
is not your problem.
1016
00:52:50,520 --> 00:52:51,655
It's you.
1017
00:52:51,680 --> 00:52:53,855
You need a little confidence
boost, my friend.
1018
00:52:53,880 --> 00:52:55,211
Now, aim up, sheep boy.
1019
00:53:05,280 --> 00:53:06,695
Hey!
1020
00:53:06,720 --> 00:53:08,006
There we go!
See? There!
1021
00:53:08,120 --> 00:53:09,735
All righty. That's one.
1022
00:53:09,760 --> 00:53:14,535
So, all I gotta do is get Foy to let
me shoot 16 times before he shoots
1023
00:53:14,560 --> 00:53:15,735
and then I win!
1024
00:53:15,760 --> 00:53:17,175
You're gonna do great,
I promise.
1025
00:53:17,200 --> 00:53:18,725
Easy.
We're gonna get there.
1026
00:55:14,400 --> 00:55:15,935
Hey!
Yes!
1027
00:55:19,080 --> 00:55:21,970
God damn it, Albert!
No more friends!
1028
00:55:29,920 --> 00:55:31,695
You know, you did great today.
1029
00:55:31,720 --> 00:55:33,529
So much better than last week.
1030
00:55:33,720 --> 00:55:36,087
And I have a surprise for you.
1031
00:55:36,720 --> 00:55:38,935
You have earned
one of Anna Barnes'
1032
00:55:38,960 --> 00:55:41,964
very special
super-super-secret cookies.
1033
00:55:46,040 --> 00:55:47,895
Wait, what is this?
1034
00:55:47,920 --> 00:55:49,895
This is a pot... This is
a pot cookie, isn't it?
1035
00:55:49,920 --> 00:55:51,255
It's a pot cookie.
No, no, no.
1036
00:55:51,280 --> 00:55:52,375
No. I don't do well
with that stuff at all.
1037
00:55:52,400 --> 00:55:53,415
It's a pot cookie.
1038
00:55:53,440 --> 00:55:55,255
Yeah, I know.
No, thank you.
1039
00:55:55,280 --> 00:55:56,455
Just have a little bit with me.
1040
00:55:56,480 --> 00:55:59,211
My worst fear is to OD
on a recreational drug.
1041
00:55:59,320 --> 00:56:00,735
No, thank you.
On a pot cookie?
1042
00:56:00,760 --> 00:56:02,415
The last time somebody
gave me one of these
1043
00:56:02,440 --> 00:56:04,761
I became convinced that prairie
dogs could read my mind.
1044
00:56:04,880 --> 00:56:06,689
Just take a little bit.
1045
00:56:06,800 --> 00:56:08,575
I'll take a very, very small bite.
Just a small bite.
1046
00:56:08,600 --> 00:56:10,602
A very small bite.
That's it.
1047
00:56:13,160 --> 00:56:14,415
Are you kidding me?
1048
00:56:14,440 --> 00:56:16,055
Nope. Deadly serious.
1049
00:56:16,080 --> 00:56:17,735
Let's see what this does
1050
00:56:17,760 --> 00:56:19,255
and if I don't throw
myself off this cliff
1051
00:56:19,280 --> 00:56:20,775
during some awful
freak-out, then...
1052
00:56:20,800 --> 00:56:22,325
Just take that
little bit, right there.
1053
00:56:22,480 --> 00:56:24,455
Well, now you've touched it.
1054
00:56:24,480 --> 00:56:28,087
Take the other side.
There you go.
1055
00:56:28,800 --> 00:56:30,325
There.
1056
00:56:31,080 --> 00:56:33,651
And now, we just wait
for the sun to set.
1057
00:56:45,640 --> 00:56:47,529
This is really weird.
1058
00:56:48,440 --> 00:56:50,442
Is it supposed to be like this?
1059
00:56:53,160 --> 00:56:54,335
You gave me
the right amount, right?
1060
00:56:54,360 --> 00:56:57,011
You don't think I took too much?
1061
00:56:59,360 --> 00:57:01,815
Just ride it out.
This is...
1062
00:57:01,840 --> 00:57:04,175
Wow, my bones are
in really deep today.
1063
00:57:04,200 --> 00:57:07,535
Like, there's a lot more
skin than there usually is.
1064
00:57:07,560 --> 00:57:09,615
I think my body is padding
up for the winter,
1065
00:57:09,640 --> 00:57:11,015
which is weird,
because it's not winter.
1066
00:57:11,040 --> 00:57:13,520
But there's a lot more there.
1067
00:57:18,000 --> 00:57:20,695
There's something wrong
with my swallowing.
1068
00:57:20,720 --> 00:57:22,375
This is not how
I usually swallow.
1069
00:57:23,520 --> 00:57:24,655
My God, Anna, he knows.
1070
00:57:24,680 --> 00:57:25,775
What, what, what?
1071
00:57:25,800 --> 00:57:27,768
He knows what we're doing,
he knows what this is.
1072
00:57:27,880 --> 00:57:29,215
He knows what this is.
1073
00:57:29,240 --> 00:57:31,208
I don't wanna...
No, I don't wanna join.
1074
00:57:32,320 --> 00:57:34,448
I don't wanna join up.
1075
00:57:50,640 --> 00:57:52,563
Suppertime, you lazy prick.
1076
00:57:57,160 --> 00:57:59,049
Goddamn waste of lungs.
1077
00:58:07,160 --> 00:58:09,049
Who's lazy now, Sheriff?
1078
00:58:55,360 --> 00:58:56,361
Hey.
1079
00:59:01,840 --> 00:59:02,966
Wow.
1080
00:59:03,320 --> 00:59:05,448
You look amazing.
1081
00:59:05,560 --> 00:59:07,244
And maybe
a little uncomfortable.
1082
00:59:07,600 --> 00:59:09,523
Oh shit!
1083
00:59:09,680 --> 00:59:11,495
I'm totally overdressed,
aren't I?
1084
00:59:11,520 --> 00:59:12,815
No.
1085
00:59:12,840 --> 00:59:14,855
I've never done formal before.
1086
00:59:14,880 --> 00:59:17,121
And the lady at the boutique
told me to buy this
1087
00:59:17,240 --> 00:59:18,615
and no one else is wearing this.
1088
00:59:18,640 --> 00:59:20,055
Who cares what...
1089
00:59:20,080 --> 00:59:22,815
These are all fuckers.
You look fantastic.
1090
00:59:22,840 --> 00:59:25,255
I look like Jane Austen
threw up all over me.
1091
00:59:25,280 --> 00:59:27,855
You do not look
like Jane Austen threw...
1092
00:59:27,880 --> 00:59:30,255
No, you look
absolutely beautiful.
1093
00:59:30,280 --> 00:59:31,615
You can breathe
in that thing, right?
1094
00:59:31,640 --> 00:59:32,775
There's nothing I like more than
1095
00:59:32,800 --> 00:59:34,535
putting on some loose,
baggy clothes,
1096
00:59:34,560 --> 00:59:35,971
and just being able to relax.
1097
00:59:36,320 --> 00:59:38,815
Yeah, this is an end-of-the-workday
outfit you have on.
1098
00:59:38,840 --> 00:59:41,455
I'm very glad I
remembered the six items
1099
00:59:41,480 --> 00:59:43,175
I somehow require
to hold up my pants.
1100
00:59:43,200 --> 00:59:44,255
Yeah.
1101
00:59:44,280 --> 00:59:45,455
I like your bustle, by the way.
1102
00:59:45,480 --> 00:59:46,655
Yeah.
1103
00:59:46,680 --> 00:59:49,655
I really love that the most
alluring fashion statement
1104
00:59:49,680 --> 00:59:51,055
a woman can make today
1105
00:59:51,080 --> 00:59:52,286
is to simulate a fat ass.
1106
00:59:52,440 --> 00:59:54,735
That is a simulation of a fat
ass, right there. Thank you.
1107
00:59:54,760 --> 00:59:58,162
If I was a black guy, this is the
meanest trick you could play on me.
1108
00:59:58,280 --> 01:00:00,655
Because I'd be like,
"Oh my god! Look."
1109
01:00:00,680 --> 01:00:02,295
"There's a fat ass,
my favorite."
1110
01:00:02,320 --> 01:00:04,895
And then I'd lift it up and I'd be
like, "Shit, it's a big joke."
1111
01:00:04,920 --> 01:00:07,135
I know, exactly, because
when you lift it up
1112
01:00:07,160 --> 01:00:09,335
there's nothing but
a metal cage under there.
1113
01:00:09,360 --> 01:00:10,566
Wow!
1114
01:00:11,560 --> 01:00:14,215
You are ready to relieve
the stress of the day.
1115
01:00:14,240 --> 01:00:16,004
Completely.
1116
01:00:20,320 --> 01:00:23,135
Well, at the very least,
this will be a good way
1117
01:00:23,160 --> 01:00:25,335
to spend my last
night alive, right?
1118
01:00:25,360 --> 01:00:26,361
Albert.
1119
01:00:26,560 --> 01:00:27,607
What?
1120
01:00:28,160 --> 01:00:29,571
Do you trust me?
1121
01:00:31,840 --> 01:00:33,410
Yeah, I do.
1122
01:00:33,840 --> 01:00:36,855
Good. You're gonna
be fine.
1123
01:00:36,880 --> 01:00:38,615
If I thought you were
gonna lose this gunfight,
1124
01:00:38,640 --> 01:00:41,371
I'd make you
call it off. Okay?
1125
01:00:44,880 --> 01:00:46,120
Yeah, okay.
1126
01:00:47,360 --> 01:00:48,486
Trust me.
1127
01:00:53,160 --> 01:00:56,164
Hey, how about it
for the James Gang?
1128
01:00:57,000 --> 01:01:00,495
Thank you. Hey, hey, it's great
to be back here in Old Stump.
1129
01:01:00,520 --> 01:01:02,935
Any Indians here tonight?
How'd you get tickets?
1130
01:01:02,960 --> 01:01:04,724
Let me guess.
Scalpers.
1131
01:01:07,640 --> 01:01:11,015
But I tell ya, folks, this telegraph
machine... That thing is nuts.
1132
01:01:11,040 --> 01:01:13,935
I mean, sure, it's faster
than the Pony Express,
1133
01:01:13,960 --> 01:01:16,575
but what good is it if you can't
send a picture of your dick?
1134
01:01:17,960 --> 01:01:19,615
Okay, they're
giving me the lantern.
1135
01:01:19,640 --> 01:01:22,295
Enjoy the bison and I hope
you're enjoying your drinks
1136
01:01:22,320 --> 01:01:24,926
as much as my horse enjoyed
making them for you.
1137
01:01:25,840 --> 01:01:28,969
Now, let's all line up
for the sweetheart dance.
1138
01:01:30,640 --> 01:01:32,295
Come on, let's go.
1139
01:01:32,320 --> 01:01:33,890
No, no, no!
I suck at dancing.
1140
01:01:34,000 --> 01:01:35,135
No one will notice.
1141
01:01:35,160 --> 01:01:36,255
How will they not notice?
1142
01:01:36,280 --> 01:01:37,520
Because you suck at everything.
1143
01:01:38,600 --> 01:01:39,647
Well, well!
1144
01:01:40,040 --> 01:01:41,929
Hello, there, sheepie.
1145
01:01:42,680 --> 01:01:45,255
Hello, Foy.
Hey, Louise.
1146
01:01:45,280 --> 01:01:46,375
Hey, Albert.
1147
01:01:46,400 --> 01:01:48,735
So, big day tomorrow.
1148
01:01:48,760 --> 01:01:50,683
Care for a last dance?
1149
01:01:51,400 --> 01:01:52,447
With you?
1150
01:01:52,840 --> 01:01:54,365
No, not with me.
1151
01:01:54,480 --> 01:01:55,615
I mean, the dance.
1152
01:01:55,640 --> 01:01:57,722
Yeah. No, yeah, no.
She and I are gonna dance.
1153
01:01:57,880 --> 01:02:00,247
And now, to serenade us
for the sweetheart dance,
1154
01:02:00,360 --> 01:02:02,806
our very own Marcus Thornton!
1155
01:02:04,520 --> 01:02:05,726
Shit crowd.
1156
01:02:14,320 --> 01:02:17,815
Ready for weird, stiff,
traditional frontier dancing?
1157
01:02:17,840 --> 01:02:18,887
Fuck, yes.
1158
01:02:22,360 --> 01:02:24,295
<i>You men who long for love</i>
1159
01:02:24,320 --> 01:02:26,095
<i>You mustn't all despair</i>
1160
01:02:26,120 --> 01:02:28,535
<i>There's a secret you should know</i>
1161
01:02:28,560 --> 01:02:30,255
<i>To capture
the hearts of the fair</i>
1162
01:02:30,280 --> 01:02:34,135
<i>You may not have the looks
You may not have the dash</i>
1163
01:02:34,160 --> 01:02:36,095
<i>But you'll win yourself a girl</i>
1164
01:02:36,120 --> 01:02:37,855
<i>If you've only got a moustache</i>
1165
01:02:37,880 --> 01:02:39,975
<i>A moustache A moustache</i>
1166
01:02:40,000 --> 01:02:42,207
<i>If you've only got a moustache</i>
1167
01:02:45,680 --> 01:02:47,808
<i>You may be common folk</i>
1168
01:02:47,960 --> 01:02:49,644
<i>Without a hint of pride</i>
1169
01:02:49,800 --> 01:02:51,643
<i>But you needn't be a king</i>
1170
01:02:51,800 --> 01:02:53,643
<i>To make any maiden a bride</i>
1171
01:02:53,800 --> 01:02:57,805
<i>You may not have the name
You may not have the cash</i>
1172
01:02:58,000 --> 01:02:59,535
<i>But you'll make
that girl your own</i>
1173
01:02:59,560 --> 01:03:01,335
<i>If you've only got a moustache</i>
1174
01:03:01,360 --> 01:03:02,361
<i>A moustache</i>
1175
01:03:02,520 --> 01:03:05,251
<i>A moustache If you've
only got a moustache</i>
1176
01:03:09,680 --> 01:03:11,045
<i>You may be big and fat</i>
1177
01:03:11,440 --> 01:03:13,090
<i>Or uglier than sin</i>
1178
01:03:13,240 --> 01:03:15,561
<i>All the ladies shut you out</i>
1179
01:03:15,720 --> 01:03:17,529
<i>You're wondering how to get in</i>
1180
01:03:17,680 --> 01:03:20,889
<i>Well, here is my advice
For how to make a splash</i>
1181
01:03:21,040 --> 01:03:22,929
<i>You can have your pick of gals</i>
1182
01:03:23,080 --> 01:03:24,844
<i>If you've only got a moustache</i>
1183
01:03:25,000 --> 01:03:26,684
<i>A moustache A moustache</i>
1184
01:03:26,840 --> 01:03:28,683
<i>If you've only got a moustache</i>
1185
01:03:28,840 --> 01:03:31,923
<i>A moustache, a
moustache, a moustache</i>
1186
01:03:32,120 --> 01:03:33,855
<i>Big moustache, thick moustache</i>
1187
01:03:33,880 --> 01:03:35,564
<i>My moustache, your moustache</i>
1188
01:03:35,680 --> 01:03:37,569
<i>Say the word,
the word "moustache"</i>
1189
01:03:37,720 --> 01:03:39,449
<i>A moustache, a moustache</i>
1190
01:03:39,600 --> 01:03:41,375
<i>Now we both have
said "moustache"</i>
1191
01:03:41,400 --> 01:03:42,447
<i>A moustache</i>
1192
01:03:42,600 --> 01:03:45,888
<i>A moustache If you've
only got a moustache</i>
1193
01:03:53,200 --> 01:03:55,043
Fucking asshole.
1194
01:03:55,440 --> 01:03:58,410
How about I steal a bottle of
whiskey and we get out of here?
1195
01:03:58,520 --> 01:03:59,615
Love that idea.
1196
01:03:59,640 --> 01:04:00,926
I'll be right back.
1197
01:04:02,400 --> 01:04:03,970
Your dick's out.
1198
01:04:19,840 --> 01:04:21,171
Hey.
1199
01:04:21,840 --> 01:04:24,255
So, Albert and I
are gonna split,
1200
01:04:24,280 --> 01:04:26,851
but I just wanted to come by
and wish you luck tomorrow.
1201
01:04:27,360 --> 01:04:28,646
Thank you.
1202
01:04:30,400 --> 01:04:31,815
So, I guess it's kind of weird
1203
01:04:31,840 --> 01:04:33,215
knowing that a woman
can outshoot you?
1204
01:04:33,240 --> 01:04:34,255
If you don't mind,
1205
01:04:34,280 --> 01:04:36,095
my girlfriend and I are
enjoying each other's company.
1206
01:04:36,120 --> 01:04:37,560
Want to know the
real kicker, though?
1207
01:04:39,400 --> 01:04:40,970
I can outdrink you, too.
1208
01:04:42,320 --> 01:04:46,484
That, I can assure you,
is impossible.
1209
01:04:48,200 --> 01:04:50,248
Fifty cents to the winner.
1210
01:04:52,880 --> 01:04:53,961
One.
1211
01:04:54,560 --> 01:04:55,561
Two,
1212
01:04:56,320 --> 01:04:57,321
three.
1213
01:05:01,400 --> 01:05:04,055
Shit!
1214
01:05:04,080 --> 01:05:05,135
Don't feel bad.
1215
01:05:05,160 --> 01:05:08,926
Alcohol doesn't harmonize well with a
woman's frail constitution, anyway.
1216
01:05:09,320 --> 01:05:10,615
I guess not.
1217
01:05:10,640 --> 01:05:11,801
Here you go.
1218
01:05:12,000 --> 01:05:13,729
You can buy your
girlfriend a brain.
1219
01:05:14,320 --> 01:05:15,367
Excuse me?
1220
01:05:15,800 --> 01:05:17,455
You're an idiot.
1221
01:05:17,480 --> 01:05:20,615
You have the nicest guy in the world
throwing himself at your feet
1222
01:05:20,640 --> 01:05:23,015
and here you are with
this complete asshole.
1223
01:05:23,040 --> 01:05:25,615
Who I go out with
is my own business.
1224
01:05:25,640 --> 01:05:28,815
So, why don't you
mind your own, bitch?
1225
01:05:28,840 --> 01:05:32,003
How are you so blind
with eyes that big?
1226
01:05:34,400 --> 01:05:35,731
Enjoy your night.
1227
01:05:36,840 --> 01:05:38,935
They're not that big.
1228
01:05:38,960 --> 01:05:41,575
No, my dear, they're
practically Chinese.
1229
01:05:41,600 --> 01:05:42,695
God, I love you.
1230
01:05:42,720 --> 01:05:44,165
I love you, too.
1231
01:05:50,400 --> 01:05:52,084
How's that?
1232
01:05:52,680 --> 01:05:54,255
Ooh.
1233
01:05:54,280 --> 01:05:55,361
Wow.
1234
01:05:55,480 --> 01:05:57,255
Um... It'll keep
us warm, though.
1235
01:05:57,280 --> 01:05:58,415
Are you cold?
1236
01:05:58,440 --> 01:05:59,495
A little.
1237
01:05:59,520 --> 01:06:00,615
Here, take...
1238
01:06:00,640 --> 01:06:02,404
No, no, no! It's okay.
No, it's fine. Here.
1239
01:06:02,520 --> 01:06:06,206
This has been in my family
for 97 generations.
1240
01:06:08,440 --> 01:06:10,855
I can't get that goddamn
moustache song out of my head.
1241
01:06:10,880 --> 01:06:12,495
Just think of another song.
1242
01:06:12,520 --> 01:06:14,615
I can't. There's only,
like, three songs.
1243
01:06:14,640 --> 01:06:16,855
That's true. And they're
all by Stephen Foster.
1244
01:06:16,880 --> 01:06:18,211
Yeah.
1245
01:06:20,640 --> 01:06:22,085
Um...
1246
01:06:23,160 --> 01:06:24,815
Hey, you know, whatever
happens tomorrow,
1247
01:06:24,840 --> 01:06:28,401
I just... I just want
to say thank you.
1248
01:06:30,280 --> 01:06:33,602
I couldn't have gotten
this far without you.
1249
01:06:34,640 --> 01:06:38,645
And this may be the booze talking,
or your pep talk, or both,
1250
01:06:39,640 --> 01:06:41,449
but I think I can do it.
1251
01:06:42,000 --> 01:06:43,764
You know,
I think I can beat him.
1252
01:06:43,960 --> 01:06:46,055
Well, I'll tell you this, you
sound a lot more confident
1253
01:06:46,080 --> 01:06:48,970
than that guy who dragged me out
of the saloon not too long ago.
1254
01:06:50,240 --> 01:06:51,241
You know, it's funny.
1255
01:06:51,360 --> 01:06:53,249
I still feel like I don't know
1256
01:06:53,360 --> 01:06:56,415
anything about you
after all this time.
1257
01:06:56,440 --> 01:07:00,525
And I feel like every time I bring
it up, you change the subject.
1258
01:07:01,800 --> 01:07:04,041
There really isn't
that much to tell.
1259
01:07:04,280 --> 01:07:07,855
My story is a lot
like yours, I suppose.
1260
01:07:07,880 --> 01:07:11,535
Because I'll tell you, I hate the
West just as much as you do.
1261
01:07:11,560 --> 01:07:12,615
Do you really?
1262
01:07:12,640 --> 01:07:14,215
For my own reasons, but, yeah.
1263
01:07:14,240 --> 01:07:16,242
I like you even more now.
1264
01:07:16,680 --> 01:07:19,335
There is something about
connecting over mutual hatred
1265
01:07:19,360 --> 01:07:21,175
that's just so much
deeper than mutual love.
1266
01:07:21,200 --> 01:07:22,255
It's true, right?
1267
01:07:22,280 --> 01:07:25,095
If two people hate the same
things, it creates a bond.
1268
01:07:25,120 --> 01:07:26,295
Hate can move mountains.
1269
01:07:26,320 --> 01:07:27,535
Yes.
1270
01:07:27,560 --> 01:07:29,295
Hey, you know what?
Before I forget.
1271
01:07:29,320 --> 01:07:30,765
Hey, Bridget, Bridget.
1272
01:07:31,200 --> 01:07:33,055
Yeah, she knows. Come here. There we go.
1273
01:07:33,080 --> 01:07:34,735
My God.
1274
01:07:34,760 --> 01:07:35,966
What is this?
1275
01:07:36,480 --> 01:07:39,609
This is just a little
something to say thank you.
1276
01:07:40,120 --> 01:07:41,255
Albert.
1277
01:07:41,280 --> 01:07:44,170
It's nothing huge, it's just...
1278
01:07:46,280 --> 01:07:47,535
Okay, don't get too excited.
1279
01:07:47,560 --> 01:07:48,920
What is it? What is it?
What is it?
1280
01:07:51,560 --> 01:07:52,766
Holy shit.
1281
01:07:52,880 --> 01:07:54,255
I know, right?
1282
01:07:54,280 --> 01:07:55,535
He's smiling.
Yeah.
1283
01:07:55,560 --> 01:07:56,846
No, in the picture,
he's smiling!
1284
01:07:56,960 --> 01:07:57,975
Isn't that amazing?
1285
01:07:58,000 --> 01:08:00,048
I bought that off a peddler who was
coming through town last week.
1286
01:08:00,160 --> 01:08:02,135
This is the guy I was
telling you about.
1287
01:08:02,160 --> 01:08:03,335
I didn't even know this existed.
1288
01:08:03,360 --> 01:08:05,655
And apparently, he's not insane.
Bullshit!
1289
01:08:05,680 --> 01:08:06,815
That's what the guy told me.
1290
01:08:06,840 --> 01:08:09,055
It takes 30 seconds
to take a photograph.
1291
01:08:09,080 --> 01:08:10,495
This guy would
have had to sit there
1292
01:08:10,520 --> 01:08:12,255
and smile for 30
sustained seconds.
1293
01:08:12,280 --> 01:08:14,815
I know. I've never been happy for
30 seconds in a row in my life.
1294
01:08:14,840 --> 01:08:17,161
No one has.
It's the fucking West!
1295
01:08:17,280 --> 01:08:18,655
He's gotta be insane!
1296
01:08:18,680 --> 01:08:20,284
Who the fuck knows?
1297
01:08:24,680 --> 01:08:26,762
This is incredibly sweet.
1298
01:08:27,080 --> 01:08:29,208
It's nothing. It's...
1299
01:08:30,280 --> 01:08:31,770
I owe you.
1300
01:08:33,360 --> 01:08:35,886
No one's ever done
anything like this for me.
1301
01:08:37,200 --> 01:08:38,531
Come on, now.
1302
01:08:39,200 --> 01:08:40,804
Thank you.
1303
01:09:13,720 --> 01:09:14,926
I'm sorry.
1304
01:09:15,600 --> 01:09:17,648
I... I shouldn't
have done that.
1305
01:09:19,920 --> 01:09:22,969
No, it's... It's fine.
1306
01:09:23,840 --> 01:09:24,841
You...
1307
01:09:25,640 --> 01:09:29,247
You've just been a really good
friend to me. That's all.
1308
01:09:33,240 --> 01:09:35,925
Yeah. I, um...
1309
01:09:38,160 --> 01:09:39,241
It's late.
1310
01:09:39,760 --> 01:09:41,603
Yeah, I should take you home.
1311
01:10:21,120 --> 01:10:22,485
Thanks.
1312
01:10:23,560 --> 01:10:26,484
Good luck tomorrow.
I'm gonna be there.
1313
01:10:27,200 --> 01:10:28,690
Good.
1314
01:10:30,320 --> 01:10:31,446
Okay.
1315
01:10:58,040 --> 01:10:59,280
Um...
1316
01:10:59,840 --> 01:11:01,365
Good night.
1317
01:11:01,840 --> 01:11:03,001
Good night.
1318
01:12:02,120 --> 01:12:03,201
Hello?
1319
01:12:09,400 --> 01:12:11,815
What... What's that?
1320
01:12:11,840 --> 01:12:13,729
Nothing.
1321
01:12:14,920 --> 01:12:16,968
It's a weather experiment.
1322
01:12:22,200 --> 01:12:23,929
Great Scott!
1323
01:12:29,720 --> 01:12:31,415
Are you sure
you can't call it off?
1324
01:12:31,440 --> 01:12:34,255
Of course not.
I'd be branded a coward.
1325
01:12:34,280 --> 01:12:37,295
Baby, if you fight him
tomorrow, you will kill him.
1326
01:12:37,320 --> 01:12:39,895
Yes, that's what
happens in a gunfight.
1327
01:12:39,920 --> 01:12:42,415
But he's not a bad guy, Foy.
1328
01:12:42,440 --> 01:12:44,295
I mean, yeah,
he's kind of a loser
1329
01:12:44,320 --> 01:12:46,295
and he always smells like sheep,
1330
01:12:46,320 --> 01:12:47,535
but he doesn't
deserve to be shot.
1331
01:12:47,560 --> 01:12:48,935
Louise!
1332
01:12:48,960 --> 01:12:50,769
My decision is final.
1333
01:12:51,280 --> 01:12:52,775
Now, do it.
1334
01:12:52,800 --> 01:12:53,975
Hey, I'm really tired.
1335
01:12:54,000 --> 01:12:55,490
Louise!
1336
01:13:08,800 --> 01:13:11,565
My social stature
is significant.
1337
01:13:12,160 --> 01:13:14,775
I'm an important man.
1338
01:13:14,800 --> 01:13:16,815
I have my own business.
1339
01:13:16,840 --> 01:13:18,604
People envy me.
1340
01:13:21,320 --> 01:13:22,321
Ooh...
1341
01:13:23,440 --> 01:13:24,601
What's wrong?
1342
01:13:26,000 --> 01:13:27,923
Foy!
Not now!
1343
01:14:07,520 --> 01:14:09,682
Hello, sweetheart.
1344
01:14:30,000 --> 01:14:31,365
Where's Anna?
1345
01:15:08,440 --> 01:15:09,566
Well, now,
1346
01:15:10,880 --> 01:15:13,804
I didn't think
you'd show, sheepie.
1347
01:15:14,400 --> 01:15:16,562
Yeah, listen, Foy...
1348
01:16:32,040 --> 01:16:34,646
Holy shit. You all...
You all done?
1349
01:16:34,800 --> 01:16:35,961
I'm good.
1350
01:16:36,680 --> 01:16:37,681
Okay.
1351
01:16:39,960 --> 01:16:41,644
Listen, Foy,
1352
01:16:46,480 --> 01:16:48,084
she's all yours.
1353
01:16:51,160 --> 01:16:52,491
Louise,
1354
01:16:53,520 --> 01:16:55,495
you know, I really
do care about you.
1355
01:16:55,520 --> 01:16:58,729
But, I don't know,
somewhere along the line
1356
01:16:58,840 --> 01:17:03,129
I guess I just forgot that a
relationship is a two-way street.
1357
01:17:04,520 --> 01:17:07,695
And I've been reminded recently
1358
01:17:07,720 --> 01:17:10,564
Of what it's like to have
somebody care about me.
1359
01:17:12,040 --> 01:17:13,326
And I like it.
1360
01:17:14,600 --> 01:17:18,735
So, if you want to spend the rest of
your life with a pussy full of hair,
1361
01:17:18,760 --> 01:17:22,082
I say, go with God
and best of luck to you.
1362
01:17:28,680 --> 01:17:31,055
You know, I just realized that last
joke might not have been clear.
1363
01:17:31,080 --> 01:17:33,495
I didn't mean that
she has a hairy pussy.
1364
01:17:33,520 --> 01:17:36,735
I meant that Foy
has a moustache,
1365
01:17:36,760 --> 01:17:40,401
so, you know,
he gets hair in her
1366
01:17:41,400 --> 01:17:44,927
when he goes down there.
1367
01:17:46,720 --> 01:17:48,643
Yeah.
1368
01:17:53,240 --> 01:17:54,571
I got it.
1369
01:18:07,920 --> 01:18:09,445
Anna?
1370
01:18:22,800 --> 01:18:24,928
Coward.
Thank you.
1371
01:18:26,360 --> 01:18:28,095
She's not there.
1372
01:18:28,120 --> 01:18:30,415
Well, I'm sure she's okay.
I don't understand.
1373
01:18:30,440 --> 01:18:32,055
We've been prepping for
this gunfight for a week.
1374
01:18:32,080 --> 01:18:33,335
She wouldn't just not show up.
1375
01:18:33,360 --> 01:18:35,727
Hey, do you... Do you think
you guys are gonna have sex?
1376
01:18:37,600 --> 01:18:39,615
Maybe, at some point.
I don't know.
1377
01:18:39,640 --> 01:18:41,095
Well, when you do, let us know
1378
01:18:41,120 --> 01:18:43,455
because maybe we can make
it an all-us-friends thing.
1379
01:18:43,480 --> 01:18:45,615
You know, we can all get in
sync together, sexually.
1380
01:18:45,640 --> 01:18:48,375
Edward, we are not having sex.
Sorry.
1381
01:18:48,400 --> 01:18:49,735
Ruth! Let's fuck!
1382
01:18:49,760 --> 01:18:51,330
Coming!
1383
01:18:51,960 --> 01:18:54,167
She keeps my head on straight.
1384
01:19:12,480 --> 01:19:14,130
Clinch Leatherwood.
1385
01:19:14,400 --> 01:19:15,401
Great.
1386
01:19:15,520 --> 01:19:17,815
Look at this. Another
thing that can kill us.
1387
01:19:17,840 --> 01:19:20,055
We should all just
wear coffins as clothes.
1388
01:19:20,080 --> 01:19:21,081
Shh.
1389
01:19:21,680 --> 01:19:25,844
Somebody in this wee shithole
of a town is going to die.
1390
01:19:27,280 --> 01:19:32,366
One of my boys saw a man
kissing my wife last night.
1391
01:19:33,000 --> 01:19:34,923
I want to know who it was.
1392
01:19:35,040 --> 01:19:36,451
Oh man!
1393
01:19:36,680 --> 01:19:39,206
Somebody's gonna get fucked up.
1394
01:19:40,120 --> 01:19:42,691
Now, you all seem
like good folk.
1395
01:19:42,880 --> 01:19:46,282
And good folk know better than
to take what isn't theirs.
1396
01:19:47,800 --> 01:19:49,450
And this...
1397
01:19:58,880 --> 01:20:00,530
This is mine.
1398
01:20:03,200 --> 01:20:05,521
So, I'm going to ask
one more time.
1399
01:20:06,520 --> 01:20:08,249
Who was it?
1400
01:20:14,480 --> 01:20:15,641
Who?
1401
01:20:23,800 --> 01:20:25,689
Now, you make sure
he gets this message.
1402
01:20:26,200 --> 01:20:31,015
Either he meets me outside in the
main thoroughfare at noon tomorrow
1403
01:20:31,040 --> 01:20:33,335
or I start killing more people.
1404
01:20:33,360 --> 01:20:34,771
All right?
1405
01:20:42,760 --> 01:20:44,410
Albert, you gotta
get out of here.
1406
01:21:07,800 --> 01:21:12,124
Boys, there's an abandoned sod
house back around that bend.
1407
01:21:12,360 --> 01:21:13,935
We'll stash the gold there.
1408
01:21:13,960 --> 01:21:16,095
Ben, you take the men
and set up camp.
1409
01:21:16,120 --> 01:21:18,655
I need some alone
time with my wife.
1410
01:21:18,680 --> 01:21:19,735
Got it, Clinch.
1411
01:21:19,760 --> 01:21:21,895
Let's go, boys.
Come on!
1412
01:21:21,920 --> 01:21:23,604
Go on, get down.
1413
01:21:29,800 --> 01:21:30,926
Who was it?
1414
01:21:33,120 --> 01:21:34,610
Mark Twain.
1415
01:21:34,920 --> 01:21:36,570
What? Is it?
1416
01:21:36,720 --> 01:21:38,961
Jesus. How fucking
stupid are you?
1417
01:21:39,960 --> 01:21:41,135
Whoa! Whoa! Whoa!
1418
01:21:41,160 --> 01:21:42,161
Who?
1419
01:21:43,880 --> 01:21:45,928
I'm not gonna
ask you again. Who?
1420
01:21:46,080 --> 01:21:50,165
Okay, it's... It's Sheriff Brady.
But please, please, please just...
1421
01:21:50,320 --> 01:21:52,800
I'm begging you.
Don't hurt him, okay?
1422
01:21:53,560 --> 01:21:55,375
After all the lovely years
we've been together
1423
01:21:55,400 --> 01:21:57,129
you think I don't know
when you're lying?
1424
01:21:57,280 --> 01:21:58,805
I'm not.
1425
01:22:01,960 --> 01:22:03,530
Plugger.
1426
01:22:05,760 --> 01:22:09,495
Tell me who it is or Plugger gets
plugged between his pretty eyes.
1427
01:22:09,520 --> 01:22:11,522
Come on, Clinch.
You think I'm joking?
1428
01:22:12,840 --> 01:22:15,015
Whoa! Whoa! Whoa!
Okay, okay, okay.
1429
01:22:15,040 --> 01:22:16,255
Who?
1430
01:22:20,440 --> 01:22:22,522
It's Albert Stark.
1431
01:22:22,640 --> 01:22:24,404
Albert Stark.
1432
01:22:25,640 --> 01:22:27,324
That's better.
1433
01:22:31,040 --> 01:22:33,175
I've been keeping
it nice and soft.
1434
01:22:33,200 --> 01:22:34,531
See?
1435
01:22:43,080 --> 01:22:46,368
I've missed you, baby.
I've missed you a lot.
1436
01:22:48,200 --> 01:22:51,886
The longer the ride,
the lonelier a man gets.
1437
01:22:52,320 --> 01:22:54,935
And he needs
the comforting touch
1438
01:22:54,960 --> 01:22:58,681
of the woman he loves
to soothe his tired bones.
1439
01:22:59,200 --> 01:23:00,611
And now, I'm here,
1440
01:23:01,200 --> 01:23:02,201
you're here,
1441
01:23:02,840 --> 01:23:05,446
and we have time to
be husband and wife.
1442
01:23:05,800 --> 01:23:07,015
The proper way.
1443
01:23:07,040 --> 01:23:08,405
Hey, asshole.
1444
01:23:20,400 --> 01:23:21,481
Shit.
1445
01:23:21,600 --> 01:23:23,568
I can't leave him like that.
1446
01:23:34,480 --> 01:23:35,481
That's better.
1447
01:24:08,600 --> 01:24:10,011
Albert?
1448
01:24:13,800 --> 01:24:15,215
Albert!
1449
01:24:15,240 --> 01:24:16,695
Albert, you gotta
get out of here.
1450
01:24:16,720 --> 01:24:18,615
Yeah, that's...
That's what I'm doing.
1451
01:24:18,640 --> 01:24:20,255
No, no, no.
Like, right now.
1452
01:24:20,280 --> 01:24:21,695
Clinch is gonna
be looking for you.
1453
01:24:21,720 --> 01:24:23,375
Yeah, I'm leaving.
1454
01:24:23,400 --> 01:24:24,975
I'm going to San Francisco.
1455
01:24:25,000 --> 01:24:27,844
Just what I should
have done a week ago.
1456
01:24:28,920 --> 01:24:30,135
I'm so sorry.
1457
01:24:30,160 --> 01:24:31,969
Yeah, well, you know, so am I.
1458
01:24:32,400 --> 01:24:33,925
What about your dad?
1459
01:24:34,080 --> 01:24:36,526
I asked him if he wanted
to come, and he said no.
1460
01:24:36,680 --> 01:24:38,842
He's up on the hill, burying
himself next to Mom.
1461
01:24:41,320 --> 01:24:42,606
Look, I never meant
to mislead...
1462
01:24:42,720 --> 01:24:43,775
Okay, you know what, Anna?
1463
01:24:43,800 --> 01:24:45,655
Don't even waste my time, okay?
1464
01:24:45,680 --> 01:24:46,815
Don't even waste my time.
1465
01:24:46,840 --> 01:24:50,049
You had a million opportunities to
tell me, and you just fucking lied.
1466
01:24:50,480 --> 01:24:51,575
I didn't lie.
1467
01:24:51,600 --> 01:24:52,695
What would you call it?
1468
01:24:52,720 --> 01:24:55,935
You're married to the most
vicious killer in the territory.
1469
01:24:55,960 --> 01:24:58,655
You don't think maybe that's
something you should have told me?
1470
01:24:58,680 --> 01:25:00,975
I didn't tell you because I
was trying to protect you.
1471
01:25:01,000 --> 01:25:03,295
Oh bullshit! You were looking
out for your own self-interest.
1472
01:25:03,320 --> 01:25:05,243
And because I liked you.
1473
01:25:06,200 --> 01:25:08,123
I didn't want to scare you away.
1474
01:25:09,200 --> 01:25:11,655
I never thought I'd meet
someone like you, Albert.
1475
01:25:11,680 --> 01:25:13,815
What, somebody who hasn't killed people?
Somebody like that?
1476
01:25:13,840 --> 01:25:15,135
Yeah, that's really
hard to find.
1477
01:25:15,160 --> 01:25:16,335
That's why women
are always going,
1478
01:25:16,360 --> 01:25:19,495
"Oh my god. Why are all
the non-murderers taken?"
1479
01:25:19,520 --> 01:25:21,135
Hey. It's not my fault,
all right?
1480
01:25:21,160 --> 01:25:22,650
We were married when I was nine.
1481
01:25:23,040 --> 01:25:24,769
Nine?
1482
01:25:25,080 --> 01:25:27,015
How does that even work?
Was there a ceremony?
1483
01:25:27,040 --> 01:25:28,135
Yeah, of course there was a...
1484
01:25:28,160 --> 01:25:30,447
My parents were there,
and a couple of neighbors.
1485
01:25:30,560 --> 01:25:31,935
I just didn't want to
end up like one of those
1486
01:25:31,960 --> 01:25:34,895
15-year-old spinsters,
you know?
1487
01:25:34,920 --> 01:25:36,975
You know, I don't even know...
1488
01:25:37,000 --> 01:25:38,729
I don't even know
why I'm surprised.
1489
01:25:39,600 --> 01:25:42,855
Every girl that I ever fall in love
with ends up disappointing me.
1490
01:25:42,880 --> 01:25:45,406
And every time, I'm surprised.
1491
01:25:48,280 --> 01:25:49,327
You love me?
1492
01:25:49,600 --> 01:25:51,895
You know what?
I'm over it. You can go.
1493
01:25:51,920 --> 01:25:53,535
All right. I lied, fine.
1494
01:25:53,560 --> 01:25:55,801
What was I supposed
to say, Albert? Tell me.
1495
01:25:55,920 --> 01:25:57,575
Was I supposed to go,
"Hi, I'm Anna!
1496
01:25:57,600 --> 01:25:59,255
"I've been fucking
a killer since I was 10"?
1497
01:25:59,280 --> 01:26:01,215
He waited a year?
What a gentleman.
1498
01:26:01,240 --> 01:26:02,651
Well, late nine.
I rounded it up.
1499
01:26:02,760 --> 01:26:04,135
It doesn't matter.
I'm done with him.
1500
01:26:04,160 --> 01:26:07,528
I knocked him out, and I stuck
a daisy in his asshole.
1501
01:26:07,640 --> 01:26:08,880
You what?
1502
01:26:09,360 --> 01:26:11,169
That's how much you mean to me.
1503
01:26:12,120 --> 01:26:13,531
You know,
1504
01:26:15,120 --> 01:26:19,011
I loved a girl who
doesn't even exist.
1505
01:26:20,400 --> 01:26:22,721
Is your name even Anna?
1506
01:26:23,440 --> 01:26:25,535
Or is it something
terrible, like Gwendolyn?
1507
01:26:25,560 --> 01:26:29,724
My name is Anna. I'm that same
girl you fell in love with.
1508
01:26:30,800 --> 01:26:32,450
That was the real me.
1509
01:26:33,800 --> 01:26:37,088
Possibly for the first
time in my entire life.
1510
01:26:38,040 --> 01:26:39,724
I just didn't think
I deserved a good guy.
1511
01:26:39,840 --> 01:26:41,888
But you know what?
I do.
1512
01:26:45,840 --> 01:26:47,205
I love you.
1513
01:27:03,400 --> 01:27:04,695
It's Clinch.
1514
01:27:04,720 --> 01:27:06,484
Shit.
1515
01:27:07,680 --> 01:27:09,045
There's a trail out back
that leads out to the ridge.
1516
01:27:09,160 --> 01:27:10,455
Go.
1517
01:27:10,480 --> 01:27:12,289
He's gonna kill...
Anna, just go!
1518
01:27:14,800 --> 01:27:18,930
Albert, he always
shoots on "two."
1519
01:27:40,880 --> 01:27:43,770
Enoch, Jordy,
look after the horses.
1520
01:28:05,800 --> 01:28:07,040
He ain't here, Clinch.
1521
01:28:07,400 --> 01:28:10,768
He's around.
He's around.
1522
01:28:17,720 --> 01:28:18,801
Stark!
1523
01:28:19,680 --> 01:28:21,489
I know you're here, Stark!
1524
01:28:22,680 --> 01:28:25,570
Ben, check the outhouse.
Lewis, the shed.
1525
01:29:17,240 --> 01:29:18,366
Lewis.
1526
01:29:19,080 --> 01:29:20,889
Sometime this week, yeah?
1527
01:29:21,160 --> 01:29:22,400
Sorry, boss.
1528
01:29:56,640 --> 01:29:57,641
Hey!
1529
01:29:58,360 --> 01:30:00,169
There he goes! Boss!
1530
01:30:05,160 --> 01:30:06,161
Shit.
1531
01:30:10,120 --> 01:30:11,451
Get him!
1532
01:30:31,000 --> 01:30:32,001
Hyah!
1533
01:31:04,880 --> 01:31:05,881
Hyah!
1534
01:31:20,720 --> 01:31:21,721
Ha!
1535
01:31:56,160 --> 01:31:58,561
What in the hell do we do now?
1536
01:31:59,200 --> 01:32:01,009
He'll be back.
1537
01:32:16,680 --> 01:32:20,127
Curtis. That was
exceptional, buddy.
1538
01:32:20,280 --> 01:32:21,415
I tell you,
1539
01:32:21,440 --> 01:32:23,935
when we get out of this, I'm
gonna get you some horse whores.
1540
01:32:23,960 --> 01:32:25,007
Sound good?
1541
01:32:25,120 --> 01:32:26,485
Get you whatever you want.
1542
01:32:26,600 --> 01:32:28,520
Can even get you a cow,
if you want one of those.
1543
01:32:28,720 --> 01:32:30,255
Want to fuck a cow?
1544
01:32:30,280 --> 01:32:32,965
You seem like a pretty
sexually adventurous guy.
1545
01:32:39,440 --> 01:32:41,807
Now, how the fuck
do you make a fire?
1546
01:32:45,200 --> 01:32:47,335
Are you sure
you want to do this?
1547
01:32:47,360 --> 01:32:49,495
Yes, I'm absolutely sure.
1548
01:32:49,520 --> 01:32:52,255
Wow, I can't believe we're
actually gonna have sex.
1549
01:32:52,280 --> 01:32:55,495
Eddie, with Clinch Leatherwood
in town, we could all die tomorrow.
1550
01:32:55,520 --> 01:32:57,975
So, under the circumstances,
1551
01:32:58,000 --> 01:32:59,968
I think God will forgive us.
1552
01:33:00,280 --> 01:33:01,935
Okay, here we go.
1553
01:33:01,960 --> 01:33:02,975
Are you excited?
1554
01:33:03,000 --> 01:33:04,815
Yeah, this is my first vagina.
1555
01:33:04,840 --> 01:33:06,255
You've never seen one?
1556
01:33:06,280 --> 01:33:08,695
No. I feel like I should have
a piece of cake or something.
1557
01:33:08,720 --> 01:33:09,815
Okay, you ready?
1558
01:33:09,840 --> 01:33:10,921
Yeah.
Okay.
1559
01:33:15,960 --> 01:33:17,325
Okay.
1560
01:33:20,200 --> 01:33:21,486
What?
1561
01:33:22,960 --> 01:33:24,775
Are you in pain right now?
1562
01:33:24,800 --> 01:33:25,815
You don't like it.
1563
01:33:25,840 --> 01:33:26,887
No, I love it!
1564
01:33:27,360 --> 01:33:30,364
Yeah, yeah, it's just...
1565
01:33:30,520 --> 01:33:33,410
It looks like a firecracker
wrapped in roast beef.
1566
01:33:33,560 --> 01:33:35,335
Yeah, but there's more to it.
1567
01:33:35,360 --> 01:33:37,255
That's just the outside.
There's folds.
1568
01:33:37,280 --> 01:33:39,044
Okay! I'm gonna close
the Bible now.
1569
01:33:39,160 --> 01:33:41,135
Eddie, it's supposed
to be like that.
1570
01:33:41,160 --> 01:33:42,241
It is?
1571
01:33:42,520 --> 01:33:43,965
It's gonna feel good.
1572
01:33:45,440 --> 01:33:47,695
I'm really glad I didn't
have that piece of cake.
1573
01:33:49,440 --> 01:33:50,805
Okay.
1574
01:33:51,880 --> 01:33:53,535
Okay, ready?
1575
01:33:53,560 --> 01:33:55,375
This is gonna be good.
You're gonna like this.
1576
01:33:55,400 --> 01:33:57,015
Okay, easy, now.
1577
01:33:57,040 --> 01:33:58,855
Sorry. This is...
1578
01:33:58,880 --> 01:34:00,375
Yeah. Wow.
1579
01:34:00,400 --> 01:34:01,695
Okay, is that...
1580
01:34:01,720 --> 01:34:02,975
- Right there?
- Yeah.
1581
01:34:03,000 --> 01:34:05,287
Sure, okay.
Wow.
1582
01:34:08,240 --> 01:34:10,971
Okay, I get it.
It's pretty big, right?
1583
01:34:11,080 --> 01:34:12,535
Yeah, you're huge!
1584
01:34:12,560 --> 01:34:13,815
No, I meant you.
1585
01:34:21,720 --> 01:34:23,255
Anna! Ruth, can I come in?
1586
01:34:23,280 --> 01:34:24,770
Sure.
1587
01:34:32,080 --> 01:34:33,360
Clinch is out there.
1588
01:34:43,640 --> 01:34:45,085
He's coming up the stairs!
1589
01:34:45,640 --> 01:34:46,687
Shit!
1590
01:35:02,200 --> 01:35:04,487
Please don't shoot us
on sex night.
1591
01:35:23,560 --> 01:35:25,642
You and I have a problem.
1592
01:35:50,240 --> 01:35:51,730
Oh shit.
1593
01:38:03,280 --> 01:38:05,760
It's coming.
I see it, I see it.
1594
01:38:08,960 --> 01:38:10,644
It's a boy,
Mr. Stark.
1595
01:38:10,920 --> 01:38:12,160
All right.
1596
01:38:12,640 --> 01:38:14,642
Well, don't you want
to come hold the baby?
1597
01:38:15,320 --> 01:38:16,446
Fuck off.
1598
01:38:17,480 --> 01:38:19,215
Now, you put that
under your pillow
1599
01:38:19,240 --> 01:38:22,528
and the tooth fairy
will leave you a penny.
1600
01:38:30,640 --> 01:38:32,455
There ain't no
tooth fairy, idiot!
1601
01:38:32,480 --> 01:38:34,448
Now, clean up that horse shit!
1602
01:38:37,320 --> 01:38:40,255
Class, please welcome
our graduation speaker,
1603
01:38:40,280 --> 01:38:42,328
President Abraham Lincoln.
1604
01:38:47,640 --> 01:38:49,483
Hiya, shmucks!
1605
01:38:49,680 --> 01:38:52,695
Four score and seven years ago,
1606
01:38:52,720 --> 01:38:54,775
I was broke,
1607
01:38:54,800 --> 01:38:56,484
just like you.
1608
01:38:56,640 --> 01:38:59,246
But now, I'm the president
1609
01:38:59,400 --> 01:39:02,529
and I'm so fucking rich.
1610
01:39:02,680 --> 01:39:06,526
I can have all
the licorice I want.
1611
01:39:06,840 --> 01:39:09,047
I don't think that's the
real President Lincoln.
1612
01:39:10,680 --> 01:39:11,895
Hey, Louise!
1613
01:39:11,920 --> 01:39:13,843
Louise, check out
this cool bike I got!
1614
01:39:14,000 --> 01:39:15,175
Hey, you want to
go down to the...
1615
01:39:15,200 --> 01:39:17,089
Shit!
1616
01:39:18,360 --> 01:39:19,720
No! Sorry! Sorry!
1617
01:39:24,320 --> 01:39:25,606
No, no, no!
1618
01:39:29,840 --> 01:39:30,855
Stop!
1619
01:39:30,880 --> 01:39:32,006
Get back here!
1620
01:39:33,000 --> 01:39:34,055
Shit, not again.
1621
01:39:34,080 --> 01:39:35,809
Get that son of a bitch!
1622
01:39:49,920 --> 01:39:51,295
You're an idiot.
1623
01:39:51,320 --> 01:39:54,642
How can you be so blind
with eyes that big?
1624
01:39:54,840 --> 01:39:56,569
They're not that big.
1625
01:39:59,560 --> 01:40:01,324
Pardon me, Albert.
1626
01:40:02,480 --> 01:40:06,375
The lads and I have prepared
something special for you.
1627
01:40:09,760 --> 01:40:11,250
<i>You may not have the looks</i>
1628
01:40:12,240 --> 01:40:13,685
<i>You may not have the dash</i>
1629
01:40:13,840 --> 01:40:15,604
<i>But you'll win yourself a girl</i>
1630
01:40:15,760 --> 01:40:17,364
<i>If you've only got a moustache</i>
1631
01:40:17,520 --> 01:40:19,602
<i>A moustache A moustache</i>
1632
01:40:19,760 --> 01:40:22,001
<i>If you've only got a moustache</i>
1633
01:40:32,960 --> 01:40:35,611
We are the guardians
of the future.
1634
01:40:36,040 --> 01:40:37,610
Enter when ready.
1635
01:41:31,000 --> 01:41:32,126
Stark!
1636
01:43:05,800 --> 01:43:07,802
All right, sweetheart.
1637
01:43:08,760 --> 01:43:12,321
Let's find out if your wee
boyfriend gives a shit about you.
1638
01:43:12,520 --> 01:43:14,363
He's got
1639
01:43:15,040 --> 01:43:16,963
six minutes till noon.
1640
01:43:17,520 --> 01:43:19,095
And if he doesn't show,
1641
01:43:19,120 --> 01:43:22,442
he'll be picking up pieces
of you all over the street.
1642
01:43:23,480 --> 01:43:24,606
Stark!
1643
01:43:41,160 --> 01:43:43,527
Look who's here.
1644
01:44:02,080 --> 01:44:03,411
Let her go, Clinch.
1645
01:44:03,560 --> 01:44:07,645
Well, now, true love conquers
all, doesn't it, sweetheart?
1646
01:44:07,840 --> 01:44:09,415
Let her go,
1647
01:44:09,440 --> 01:44:11,400
and let's you and me just
settle this like adults.
1648
01:44:14,200 --> 01:44:15,361
Lewis, Ben.
1649
01:44:15,600 --> 01:44:17,648
Come and take this whore.
Albert.
1650
01:44:18,480 --> 01:44:20,767
Don't be stupid, Albert!
Get out of here!
1651
01:44:21,200 --> 01:44:22,535
Get out of here!
1652
01:44:22,560 --> 01:44:23,895
Too late for that.
1653
01:44:23,920 --> 01:44:25,729
He's already been stupid.
1654
01:44:25,960 --> 01:44:27,200
Haven't you, Albert?
1655
01:44:27,720 --> 01:44:29,688
You've been with my wife.
1656
01:44:30,120 --> 01:44:32,495
Well, we haven't
actually done it,
1657
01:44:32,520 --> 01:44:34,841
if that makes any
kind of a difference.
1658
01:44:35,760 --> 01:44:37,922
Okay, look, look, look.
Here's my idea, okay?
1659
01:44:38,120 --> 01:44:39,884
You're a pretty tough guy, yeah?
1660
01:44:40,000 --> 01:44:41,215
Why don't you prove it?
1661
01:44:41,240 --> 01:44:44,687
Gunfight. You and me.
Right here. Right now.
1662
01:44:47,400 --> 01:44:49,528
You really do have
a death wish, don't you?
1663
01:44:50,320 --> 01:44:53,005
Yeah, I guess you'll
have to find that out?
1664
01:44:59,840 --> 01:45:01,330
Take out your gun.
1665
01:45:05,400 --> 01:45:06,535
Point it at me.
1666
01:45:06,560 --> 01:45:07,561
No.
1667
01:45:11,480 --> 01:45:12,891
Good boy.
1668
01:45:13,240 --> 01:45:16,084
Now, we shoot on three.
1669
01:45:18,920 --> 01:45:20,251
One.
1670
01:45:27,640 --> 01:45:29,529
I've been playing
cards a long time
1671
01:45:29,680 --> 01:45:31,648
and I would never
have bet on that, Stark.
1672
01:45:31,760 --> 01:45:32,921
Where'd you learn to shoot?
1673
01:45:34,120 --> 01:45:35,295
Your wife.
1674
01:45:35,320 --> 01:45:36,810
Snap!
1675
01:45:38,000 --> 01:45:39,161
Holy fuck.
1676
01:45:40,680 --> 01:45:42,364
Okay, look, look, look!
Before you kill me,
1677
01:45:42,480 --> 01:45:44,403
just grant me a few
last words. All right?
1678
01:45:44,520 --> 01:45:45,806
Make it quick.
1679
01:45:46,720 --> 01:45:48,370
Let Anna live.
1680
01:45:48,640 --> 01:45:49,721
All right?
1681
01:45:50,080 --> 01:45:51,127
Let her live.
1682
01:45:51,240 --> 01:45:52,575
This is not her fault.
1683
01:45:52,600 --> 01:45:54,615
I kissed her, she didn't
kiss me, all right?
1684
01:45:54,640 --> 01:45:55,971
It's not her fault.
1685
01:45:56,760 --> 01:45:58,575
I mean, she didn't
tell me she was married,
1686
01:45:58,600 --> 01:46:00,335
so it's a little bit
her fault, I guess.
1687
01:46:00,360 --> 01:46:01,855
So, yeah, I guess
that's kind of true.
1688
01:46:01,880 --> 01:46:04,804
So, maybe just
shoot her in the arm.
1689
01:46:05,000 --> 01:46:06,055
What the...
1690
01:46:06,080 --> 01:46:07,615
And one more thing.
1691
01:46:07,640 --> 01:46:09,688
Um, my grandparents were Arabic.
1692
01:46:09,800 --> 01:46:12,215
So, I'm required
by Muslim tradition
1693
01:46:12,240 --> 01:46:14,766
to recite the Islamic death
chant immediately before dying.
1694
01:46:15,200 --> 01:46:16,884
This will only take a moment.
1695
01:46:40,160 --> 01:46:41,415
Hey, what's the matter, Clinch?
1696
01:46:41,440 --> 01:46:43,135
You not feeling well?
1697
01:46:43,160 --> 01:46:44,446
You okay, boss?
1698
01:46:44,760 --> 01:46:46,444
What's happening to me?
1699
01:46:46,600 --> 01:46:50,286
You know, there are a million
ways to die in the West, Clinch.
1700
01:46:50,440 --> 01:46:53,364
There's, famine,
disease, gunfights.
1701
01:46:53,840 --> 01:46:57,208
And, wild animals.
You know, like snakes.
1702
01:46:57,360 --> 01:46:58,855
And, you know,
the funny thing is,
1703
01:46:58,880 --> 01:47:00,245
you don't even
have to get bitten.
1704
01:47:00,760 --> 01:47:02,444
All you need is
a little bit of the venom
1705
01:47:02,560 --> 01:47:04,295
introduced into your bloodstream
1706
01:47:04,320 --> 01:47:05,970
and you're pretty much screwed.
1707
01:47:06,360 --> 01:47:09,295
<i>For example, if you drain
a certain amount of venom</i>
1708
01:47:09,320 --> 01:47:11,695
<i>from the fangs of a diamondback
rattler into a hollow-tip bullet,</i>
1709
01:47:11,720 --> 01:47:13,165
<i>you really only need one shot.</i>
1710
01:47:13,640 --> 01:47:16,689
<i>Now, I knew my aim wasn't good enough
to hit you anywhere important.</i>
1711
01:47:17,240 --> 01:47:19,004
<i>But if! caught
you by surprise...</i>
1712
01:47:19,320 --> 01:47:22,210
<i>Well, Anna taught me just enough
to get me in the ballpark.</i>
1713
01:47:22,360 --> 01:47:24,695
And just a small amount
of venom in an open wound
1714
01:47:24,720 --> 01:47:26,255
is enough to kill
a man if he's...
1715
01:47:26,280 --> 01:47:27,611
Albert.
1716
01:47:28,200 --> 01:47:30,931
He's dead.
You did it.
1717
01:47:32,440 --> 01:47:33,487
Yeah.
1718
01:47:33,960 --> 01:47:36,122
Did he hear all
that smart stuff I did?
1719
01:47:37,480 --> 01:47:39,801
No. No,
I don't think so.
1720
01:47:41,040 --> 01:47:42,255
Well, it was still good, though.
1721
01:47:42,280 --> 01:47:43,375
Yeah, it was great.
1722
01:47:43,400 --> 01:47:44,686
I thought it was really good.
1723
01:47:47,640 --> 01:47:48,735
Stop!
1724
01:47:48,760 --> 01:47:50,250
Albert!
1725
01:48:01,280 --> 01:48:03,735
I'm really horny right now.
1726
01:48:03,760 --> 01:48:05,762
Let's go in the shade and fuck.
1727
01:48:08,560 --> 01:48:10,095
Well done, sheep boy.
1728
01:48:10,120 --> 01:48:12,122
Hey, sorry
I killed your husband.
1729
01:48:12,280 --> 01:48:14,726
Oh god. That was never
gonna work out anyway.
1730
01:48:14,840 --> 01:48:16,455
He's Methodist,
I'm half-Jewish.
1731
01:48:16,480 --> 01:48:19,015
Are you? You are? No!
1732
01:48:19,040 --> 01:48:20,087
Oh thank god!
1733
01:48:20,240 --> 01:48:21,415
You're not really
Arabic, are you?
1734
01:48:21,440 --> 01:48:22,521
No, no, no.
1735
01:48:22,640 --> 01:48:24,455
Oh thank god. Because
I was like, "Oh kill me!"
1736
01:48:24,480 --> 01:48:26,175
I know, right?
"No! Oh my god!"
1737
01:48:26,200 --> 01:48:28,202
- No, we're fine. We're okay.
- Albert!
1738
01:48:29,560 --> 01:48:30,766
Hey, Louise.
1739
01:48:30,920 --> 01:48:34,367
Hey. Listen,
if you want to...
1740
01:48:34,720 --> 01:48:38,167
If you want to talk about
things, I would like that.
1741
01:48:38,760 --> 01:48:42,401
I mean, I could come by your
place, like, later tonight.
1742
01:48:44,240 --> 01:48:45,815
You know, Louise, I would,
1743
01:48:45,840 --> 01:48:49,401
but I really gotta go
home and work on myself.
1744
01:48:54,560 --> 01:48:56,483
So, you killed
Clinch Leatherwood,
1745
01:48:56,640 --> 01:48:59,041
the deadliest gunman
on the frontier.
1746
01:48:59,200 --> 01:49:00,725
Yeah, I guess I did?
1747
01:49:02,360 --> 01:49:05,015
You know, there's probably
gonna be some reward money.
1748
01:49:05,040 --> 01:49:07,407
You know,
I didn't think about that.
1749
01:49:07,880 --> 01:49:09,803
What are you gonna do?
1750
01:49:42,920 --> 01:49:45,135
Step right up, folks.
Step right up!
1751
01:49:45,160 --> 01:49:48,482
Who wants to take a gander
at the shooting gallery?
1752
01:49:48,680 --> 01:49:50,284
I'll take a shot.
1753
01:49:59,120 --> 01:50:00,855
People die at the fair.
1754
01:55:37,320 --> 01:55:38,845
What the fuck?
1755
01:55:39,280 --> 01:55:41,248
Somebody bring me
one of them white women.
|