1
00:02:21,087 --> 00:02:23,101
We've been through this, haven't we?
2
00:02:23,243 --> 00:02:25,333
I've got a lot to do, as you know,
and this needs to be in tomorrow.
3
00:02:25,368 --> 00:02:27,378
Now I've pushed the deadline once already,
4
00:02:27,478 --> 00:02:30,618
so could I please just have five minutes to myself?
Please, five minutes!
5
00:02:30,718 --> 00:02:33,683
But it's just not five minutes we're talking about,
it's about shirking "shitbits"!
6
00:02:33,783 --> 00:02:35,759
I'm not shirking... okay, okay...
7
00:02:35,859 --> 00:02:37,985
- Hello?
<i>- Is he there?</i>
8
00:02:40,023 --> 00:02:43,035
It's for you!
It's probably very important!
9
00:02:43,135 --> 00:02:46,430
Oh, c'mon! It's not fair
to just accuse me of avoiding...
10
00:02:47,440 --> 00:02:49,268
- Who is it?
- It's John.
11
00:02:49,368 --> 00:02:50,400
Sh-h-hit!
I knew this would happen.
12
00:02:50,500 --> 00:02:52,152
Oh, you probably have to take this!
13
00:02:52,250 --> 00:02:53,993
Oh, c'mon, don't paint me as some kind of...
14
00:02:54,093 --> 00:02:57,491
It's not fair to start something
that I can't be expected to finish.
15
00:02:57,591 --> 00:03:00,270
And yes I do need to take this,
as you're well aware and we'll continue...
16
00:03:00,370 --> 00:03:03,192
John! I'm literally just wrapping it up...
17
00:03:03,292 --> 00:03:04,783
<i>I don't care to hear that.</i>
18
00:03:04,883 --> 00:03:08,995
<i>I'm over-fucking-joyed to learn
that you are just wrapping it up...</i>
19
00:03:09,095 --> 00:03:12,851
<i>Why don't you put
a fucking ribbon on it too, you brat?</i>
20
00:03:12,852 --> 00:03:14,457
The thing is...
21
00:03:14,900 --> 00:03:18,920
<i>...I want to have it here right now!</i>
22
00:03:21,332 --> 00:03:23,113
<i>I ought to advise you
to have another serious think</i>
23
00:03:23,213 --> 00:03:26,441
<i>- about another way to earn your living!</i>
- Hang on...
24
00:03:26,541 --> 00:03:29,326
<i>I also ought to advise you
not to fucking speak!</i>
25
00:03:29,974 --> 00:03:30,859
A coffee!
26
00:03:30,957 --> 00:03:32,793
<i>...I haven't yet in all my poor days
come across anyone</i>
27
00:03:32,893 --> 00:03:36,107
<i>with a more flexible definition
for the term 'deadline'.</i>
28
00:03:36,207 --> 00:03:40,166
<i>A deadline is a line before which
everything is brilliant.</i>
29
00:03:40,266 --> 00:03:43,464
<i>And after which we are all dead.</i>
30
00:03:43,564 --> 00:03:48,548
<i>I am dead, they are dead and
you my son are perfectly fucking dead!</i>
31
00:03:48,648 --> 00:03:50,864
Where the fuck does this go?
32
00:03:57,021 --> 00:03:58,572
Jesus!
33
00:03:59,364 --> 00:04:00,195
Not quite.
34
00:04:03,120 --> 00:04:04,897
Hello, I'm Steve. I live downstairs.
35
00:04:04,997 --> 00:04:06,254
Do you have a moment?
36
00:04:07,289 --> 00:04:09,322
Little pushed at the moment.
37
00:04:09,422 --> 00:04:11,334
I think there's been a leak.
38
00:04:11,643 --> 00:04:13,825
Oh, that's terrible, I'm so sorry!
39
00:04:13,925 --> 00:04:15,995
Uh, could I come in for a minute?
40
00:04:16,095 --> 00:04:19,561
Ah... of course... I just...
need to clear space.
41
00:04:19,661 --> 00:04:22,033
- Who is it?
- I thought you were busy!
42
00:04:25,037 --> 00:04:27,198
Well, if you're offering!
43
00:04:34,806 --> 00:04:37,500
I got home last night, and my ceiling
was dripping onto my bed,
44
00:04:37,600 --> 00:04:39,201
I knew something was wrong.
45
00:04:39,301 --> 00:04:41,767
I looked up, I saw the wet patch
spread across my ceiling,
46
00:04:41,867 --> 00:04:43,472
I knew something was wrong.
47
00:04:44,325 --> 00:04:47,313
Oh, that's awful. I'm so sorry.
48
00:04:47,413 --> 00:04:49,872
I wonder where it's come from,
I can't think what would have caused it.
49
00:04:52,256 --> 00:04:54,506
We'll call a plumber first thing tomorrow.
50
00:04:54,940 --> 00:04:57,255
Hmm... we'll never get one
on a Sunday I'm afraid.
51
00:05:00,575 --> 00:05:03,820
Of course we will compensate
you in full for any damage.
52
00:05:08,660 --> 00:05:12,493
Would you like...
You've already got some.
53
00:05:16,017 --> 00:05:19,912
Well, where exactly is this leak coming from?
Maybe we can pinpoint it.
54
00:05:26,771 --> 00:05:28,327
What's your favorite kind of music?
55
00:05:28,627 --> 00:05:30,999
Are you sure, Steve?
56
00:05:31,099 --> 00:05:32,898
My mattress is all wet.
57
00:05:32,998 --> 00:05:37,985
Right... Well, why don't we go downstairs
and have a look at your ceiling?
58
00:05:38,085 --> 00:05:39,999
Then we can establish exactly
where it came from?
59
00:05:40,099 --> 00:05:42,943
That would be great, only my mother's
still sleeping there at the moment.
60
00:05:44,268 --> 00:05:46,284
Well, not to worry then, Steve.
61
00:05:46,384 --> 00:05:49,140
- Steve...
- Yes?
62
00:05:50,149 --> 00:05:53,312
It's half past five! Are you sure
your mother's still sleeping there?
63
00:05:53,612 --> 00:05:56,752
Oh yes, she was out fishing all night.
64
00:05:56,852 --> 00:05:59,312
She didn't get in till the wee small ones.
65
00:05:59,412 --> 00:06:02,123
Oh!? Where did she find
fishing in London?
66
00:06:05,342 --> 00:06:07,729
Well, she didn't, you see,
that's the thing.
67
00:06:07,829 --> 00:06:11,059
In order to find fishing round here
you got to get right out of town.
68
00:06:11,159 --> 00:06:14,953
And that is one long journey back, oh yes.
69
00:06:15,209 --> 00:06:18,914
That is one long journey back,
so you can see why she is tired.
70
00:06:21,583 --> 00:06:27,723
Right. Well, we'll have a plumber
look at everything, just to be sure.
71
00:06:30,918 --> 00:06:33,311
- Do you like books?
- Yes.
72
00:06:33,411 --> 00:06:38,628
Very much. And...
We'll have a plumber... look at everything.
73
00:07:01,540 --> 00:07:03,465
Why have we never met our neighbours?
74
00:07:03,564 --> 00:07:05,378
I mean, don't you think it's funny that
75
00:07:05,478 --> 00:07:08,489
it takes a crisis to get to know people
you live not three feet above?
76
00:07:08,589 --> 00:07:13,089
Don't think for a moment that
I'm even remotely interested in your opinion,
77
00:07:13,189 --> 00:07:14,799
I was merely voicing a rhetorical thought.
78
00:07:14,834 --> 00:07:18,408
It did not require reciprocation,
least of all from you, you selfish fucker!
79
00:07:18,508 --> 00:07:22,472
Really, I strongly advise you not to speak!
80
00:08:03,418 --> 00:08:04,864
- I'll get it!
- Ohh! Fuck!
81
00:08:08,005 --> 00:08:09,734
- Okay, okay, okay...
- Oh-h!
82
00:08:09,993 --> 00:08:12,438
- Come on...
- Oh, I can deal with it!
83
00:08:12,693 --> 00:08:15,038
- Okay, shall I...
- Oh I can deal with the front door!
84
00:08:15,138 --> 00:08:18,867
And since I paid the mortgage yesterday
it's my fucking front door this month anyway!
85
00:08:19,165 --> 00:08:20,809
Fine. Good.
I'll just go end up some of the...
86
00:08:21,793 --> 00:08:23,060
Hi there!
87
00:08:23,160 --> 00:08:25,926
Okay, I'm really sorry, I hate a confrontation,
but we have to talk.
88
00:08:26,026 --> 00:08:27,160
What is it, Steve?
89
00:08:27,260 --> 00:08:29,146
Uh, the plumber left over an hour ago.
90
00:08:29,246 --> 00:08:31,371
He said he couldn't find
anything faulty anywhere.
91
00:08:31,471 --> 00:08:35,029
Ohh, no, the water's fine.
How can I put this?
92
00:08:36,194 --> 00:08:38,198
I really don't know
how to approach this delicately.
93
00:08:38,298 --> 00:08:40,689
Shall we talk Street Rap?
94
00:08:40,789 --> 00:08:45,050
Or... Hip-Hop perhaps, uhm?
95
00:08:45,150 --> 00:08:49,111
I really can't claim to be genned up on everything
the kids are listening to nowadays.
96
00:08:49,211 --> 00:08:51,982
I think I'd better have come in, don't you?
97
00:08:57,386 --> 00:08:58,246
Ohh!
98
00:09:03,923 --> 00:09:05,914
I think a little tea is a wonderful idea.
99
00:09:09,548 --> 00:09:11,900
So which of you two bright sparks thought
it would be a good idea
100
00:09:12,000 --> 00:09:15,130
to play your Hip-Hop music
all night long last night?
101
00:09:15,230 --> 00:09:16,914
A little party was there, uhm?
102
00:09:17,014 --> 00:09:20,685
Common courtesy dictates a warning
at least, if not an invitation, uhm?
103
00:09:21,185 --> 00:09:24,343
- Steve...
- I rise at five. Five!
104
00:09:25,416 --> 00:09:28,654
And if the music ceases at three,
then I get two hours sleep. Two!
105
00:09:29,215 --> 00:09:34,609
We stayed at my sister's last night.
We got back for the plumber this morning.
106
00:09:35,519 --> 00:09:40,017
I'm sorry if someone kept you up,
but it wasn't us.
107
00:09:42,361 --> 00:09:45,689
Oh... So what kind of books d'you like?
I like F. Scott Fitzgerald.
108
00:09:45,789 --> 00:09:48,124
Can we come to that later, Steve?
You seem quite upset!
109
00:09:48,224 --> 00:09:50,129
No, I'm not upset.
Let's have more tea and then talk.
110
00:09:50,228 --> 00:09:52,548
Okay, Steve. Now listen...
111
00:09:53,269 --> 00:09:57,616
There was no music here last night,
because we weren't here last night.
112
00:09:57,716 --> 00:09:59,408
- Are you okay with that?
- Yes.
113
00:10:00,572 --> 00:10:03,231
Don't you just hate it when someone grabs
the seat you've had your eye on,
114
00:10:03,331 --> 00:10:05,526
you know, whether buss,
or cinema, or whatever?
115
00:10:05,626 --> 00:10:07,811
Although who'd be inside
on a day like this?
116
00:10:07,911 --> 00:10:10,767
Weather is good, although I remember
it being a little better this time last year.
117
00:10:17,585 --> 00:10:20,291
Don't you ever just think...
Fuck it, you know?
118
00:10:20,391 --> 00:10:22,772
I know, let's all go
to the pictures, my treat.
119
00:10:23,220 --> 00:10:25,504
Steve, if you finished your tea,
I think you should go now.
120
00:10:25,604 --> 00:10:27,232
Haven't quite.
121
00:10:28,043 --> 00:10:30,801
- Do you like picnics when it's sunny?
- Yes, very much.
122
00:10:30,901 --> 00:10:32,480
Would you like to go on one now?
123
00:10:32,580 --> 00:10:34,565
I'm afraid we can't.
124
00:11:00,701 --> 00:11:04,114
I've had an idea. After lunch let's jack in
whatever we had to do.
125
00:11:04,149 --> 00:11:08,318
I'll take you to the pictures. My treat.
126
00:11:33,660 --> 00:11:39,041
I'm sorry! I've been very selfish,
but work is finished now,
127
00:11:39,141 --> 00:11:41,541
so I can make it up to you.
128
00:11:45,577 --> 00:11:48,768
Well, that's nice.
I'm fine just reading, thanks.
129
00:11:48,868 --> 00:11:52,304
I wanna do things with you.
Have adventures.
130
00:11:53,108 --> 00:11:58,346
I'm going out in half an hour.
Can I not just have five minutes to myself?
131
00:11:59,282 --> 00:12:02,481
Please! Just five minutes!
132
00:12:02,581 --> 00:12:05,573
Look, I don't think it's very fair of you...
133
00:12:06,454 --> 00:12:07,531
- Hey gang!
- ...To make it up?
134
00:12:07,630 --> 00:12:08,495
You'll never gonna believe this!
135
00:12:08,595 --> 00:12:13,072
That stupid fucking idiot postman has only been
misdelivering your letters to my flat.
136
00:12:13,172 --> 00:12:16,786
That fat, chuckleheaded bastard
has ignored that it clearly states the flat number
137
00:12:16,886 --> 00:12:20,745
on each letter and the sweaty cunt
has posted them wherever he likes willy-nilly.
138
00:12:20,845 --> 00:12:24,438
I think there's been some kind of mistake,
Steve, it's not addressed to us.
139
00:12:24,538 --> 00:12:25,669
May I come in?
140
00:12:25,768 --> 00:12:28,318
I saw a great film on the telly last night.
I can't remember what it was called.
141
00:12:28,418 --> 00:12:32,399
Did you see it? I love films.
What are your top, top fave five films?
142
00:12:34,313 --> 00:12:35,749
Can I come in?
143
00:12:36,630 --> 00:12:39,457
...Just got to lose the neighbour.
Whop, hello matey!
144
00:12:39,557 --> 00:12:41,703
Here, the postman is meant to ring twice, isn't he?
145
00:12:41,803 --> 00:12:43,708
- Can I come in?
- Steve!
146
00:12:44,073 --> 00:12:48,644
- Can I have my letter, please?
- Okay.
147
00:12:50,003 --> 00:12:54,257
- Can I have my other letter, please?
- Hmm... Rude.
148
00:12:54,357 --> 00:12:56,026
- Steve...
- Any chance of a cuppa?
149
00:12:56,126 --> 00:12:57,631
- Steve, I...
- A bit rude, isn't it?
150
00:12:57,731 --> 00:13:02,456
Not offering your neighbour, kind,
cooperative downstairs neighbour a cup of tea?
151
00:13:02,556 --> 00:13:04,398
- Steve!
- Tea! Now!
152
00:13:04,798 --> 00:13:08,070
Go to the kettle and make me
a cup of fucking tea!
153
00:13:08,169 --> 00:13:12,517
You sit down there!
One host, one hostess and a gentleman caller.
154
00:13:12,617 --> 00:13:14,276
And you won't need your phone
cause you're about to have
155
00:13:14,376 --> 00:13:16,702
a real life fucking conversation
in a minute!
156
00:13:16,703 --> 00:13:19,689
Okay! Okay, Steve!
157
00:13:22,103 --> 00:13:23,073
There's your tea.
158
00:13:33,003 --> 00:13:34,339
Why don't you sit down?
159
00:13:45,715 --> 00:13:47,440
Can we have our post now, Steve?
160
00:13:49,777 --> 00:13:51,137
No one for the road...
161
00:13:51,237 --> 00:13:54,207
No pot! No fucking biscuit!
162
00:13:57,256 --> 00:13:59,153
Why have you been taking our post, Steve?
163
00:14:00,920 --> 00:14:03,866
I don't see why we should give you anything
if you've been taking from us?
164
00:14:13,867 --> 00:14:15,546
And you'll make the tea.
165
00:14:15,646 --> 00:14:18,162
A whole pot, for the whole gang.
166
00:14:18,561 --> 00:14:21,859
And you'll put out a nice plate of biscuits,
chocolate biscuits.
167
00:14:23,574 --> 00:14:27,061
And we'll say: "Oh, I shouldn't!",
and we'll all have one.
168
00:14:28,443 --> 00:14:33,199
I'll have four. Then I'll pat my stomach
and I'll roll my eyes at my own greed.
169
00:14:38,214 --> 00:14:41,857
Then we will all laugh, and there will be
a momentary awkward silence,
170
00:14:41,957 --> 00:14:43,224
we will look out of the window
171
00:14:43,324 --> 00:14:47,326
and comment on the unusual meteorological
conditions for the time of year.
172
00:14:47,426 --> 00:14:49,710
You will refill my cup,
and I'll say: "Go on then!".
173
00:14:50,864 --> 00:14:53,671
And then we will talk derogatorily
about all our mutual friends
174
00:14:53,771 --> 00:14:55,197
in order to further strengthen
175
00:14:55,297 --> 00:14:58,845
the irrefutable bond of friendship
that we had between us.
176
00:14:59,812 --> 00:15:02,924
Before I go you we will make definite
plans to see one another again,
177
00:15:03,024 --> 00:15:06,044
which we will only loosely adhere to,
but this will not matter,
178
00:15:06,144 --> 00:15:10,207
because we know that true friendship
does not need to be recharged on a regular basis,
179
00:15:10,307 --> 00:15:13,730
but survives because of the strong foundation
on which it is built.
180
00:15:15,377 --> 00:15:20,491
After I have gone, you will remark
on a many good qualities that I have,
181
00:15:20,591 --> 00:15:22,071
and on what a good friend I am.
182
00:15:23,978 --> 00:15:27,085
And that you are of course concerned
that I'm living alone.
183
00:15:30,001 --> 00:15:31,463
Put the kettle on!
184
00:15:37,000 --> 00:15:42,000
English subtitles: Gorushka
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