1
00:00:49,727 --> 00:00:51,922
I am not a bum.
2
00:00:53,167 --> 00:00:54,600
I'm a jerk.
3
00:00:56,887 --> 00:00:59,003
I once had wealth...
4
00:01:00,007 --> 00:01:01,406
...power...
5
00:01:01,967 --> 00:01:04,925
...and the love of a beautiful woman.
6
00:01:05,607 --> 00:01:09,316
Now l only have two things...
7
00:01:10,807 --> 00:01:12,525
...my friends...
8
00:01:13,567 --> 00:01:14,636
...and...
9
00:01:19,847 --> 00:01:21,519
...my thermos.
10
00:01:31,167 --> 00:01:32,725
My story?
11
00:01:41,647 --> 00:01:43,000
Okay.
12
00:01:45,967 --> 00:01:49,198
It was never easy for me.
13
00:01:49,967 --> 00:01:53,562
I was born a poor black child.
14
00:01:55,127 --> 00:01:57,277
I remember the days...
15
00:01:57,527 --> 00:02:00,405
...sitting on the porch with my family...
16
00:02:00,567 --> 00:02:02,000
...singing and dancing...
17
00:02:02,807 --> 00:02:04,604
...down in Mississippi.
18
00:02:11,407 --> 00:02:13,716
-"Oh, lordy
-"Pick a bale of cotton
19
00:02:13,887 --> 00:02:15,957
-"Oh, lordy
-"Pick a bale a day
20
00:02:16,167 --> 00:02:18,203
-"Oh, lordy
-"Pick a bale of cotton
21
00:02:18,407 --> 00:02:20,318
-"Oh, lordy
-"Pick a bale a day
22
00:02:20,407 --> 00:02:22,921
-"Gonna jump down, turn around
-"Pick a bale of cotton
23
00:02:23,007 --> 00:02:25,282
-"Gonna jump down, turn around
-"Pick a bale a day
24
00:02:25,367 --> 00:02:27,483
-"Jump down, turn around
-"Pick a bale of cotton
25
00:02:27,567 --> 00:02:29,922
-"Jump down, turn around
-"Pick a bale a day
26
00:02:30,007 --> 00:02:32,077
-"Me and my buddy gonna
-"Pick a bale of cotton
27
00:02:32,167 --> 00:02:34,397
-"Me and my buddy gonna
-"Pick a bale a day
28
00:02:34,487 --> 00:02:36,637
-"Me and my buddy gonna
-"Pick a bale of cotton
29
00:02:36,727 --> 00:02:38,877
-"Me and my buddy gonna
-"Pick a bale a day
30
00:02:38,967 --> 00:02:41,356
-"Oh, lordy
-"Pick a bale of cotton
31
00:02:41,447 --> 00:02:43,358
-"Oh, lordy
-"Pick a bale a day
32
00:02:43,447 --> 00:02:45,722
-"Oh, lordy
-"Pick a bale of cotton
33
00:02:45,887 --> 00:02:48,037
-"Oh, lordy
-"Pick a bale a day
34
00:02:48,327 --> 00:02:50,477
-"Gonna get on my knees
-"Pick a bale of cotton
35
00:02:50,567 --> 00:02:52,717
-"Gonna get on my knees
-"Pick a bale a day
36
00:02:52,807 --> 00:02:54,923
-"Gonna move all around
-"Pick a bale of cotton
37
00:02:55,007 --> 00:02:57,123
-"Gonna move all around
-"Pick a bale a day
38
00:02:57,207 --> 00:02:59,516
-"You want a barebacked man
-"Pick a bale of cotton
39
00:02:59,607 --> 00:03:01,757
-"You want a barebacked man
-"Pick a bale a day
40
00:03:01,847 --> 00:03:04,156
-"Jump down, turn around
-"Pick a bale of cotton
41
00:03:04,247 --> 00:03:06,283
-"Jump down, turn around
-"Pick a bale a day"
42
00:03:06,367 --> 00:03:08,278
Boy, l hope everybody's good and hungry.
43
00:03:08,367 --> 00:03:10,961
-I know l am.
-And l'm ready for that.
44
00:03:11,047 --> 00:03:12,526
Here's corn bread.
45
00:03:13,287 --> 00:03:16,484
Collard greens.
And l cooked up those hog maws you like.
46
00:03:16,567 --> 00:03:19,001
Mother, dear,
ain't we forgetting something?
47
00:03:20,007 --> 00:03:23,795
No, l'm not. Today is Navin's birthday.
48
00:03:25,487 --> 00:03:27,000
Happy birthday!.
49
00:03:27,367 --> 00:03:28,720
It's Navin's birthday!.
50
00:03:28,807 --> 00:03:31,719
And l cooked you up your favorite meal.
51
00:03:32,367 --> 00:03:34,927
Tuna fish salad on white bread
with mayonnaise...
52
00:03:35,127 --> 00:03:37,482
...a Tab and a couple of Twinkies.
53
00:03:37,607 --> 00:03:40,519
-Here, darling.
-Mom, thanks.
54
00:03:40,847 --> 00:03:42,917
You're gonna like that shit, man.
55
00:03:45,767 --> 00:03:47,723
I got you a present.
56
00:03:48,487 --> 00:03:50,717
-Gee, Elvira.
-I made it myself.
57
00:03:50,807 --> 00:03:55,801
We got you something, too. A half bottle
of lilac vegetal. It's from both of us.
58
00:03:56,047 --> 00:03:57,958
I drew you this picture.
59
00:03:58,327 --> 00:04:01,125
-Here.
-Thank you.
60
00:04:01,207 --> 00:04:03,038
I want you to have my Zippo.
61
00:04:05,847 --> 00:04:09,726
Dad, you had this since the war.
62
00:04:13,007 --> 00:04:14,076
Thanks.
63
00:04:15,527 --> 00:04:17,199
Thanks, everybody.
64
00:04:18,647 --> 00:04:20,160
God bless us...
65
00:04:20,687 --> 00:04:22,245
...everyone.
66
00:04:22,727 --> 00:04:24,046
Navin!.
67
00:04:29,087 --> 00:04:31,885
Will you pass me the potatoes
and the collard greens?
68
00:04:31,967 --> 00:04:35,243
-Navin, darling.
-I'm sorry l spoiled the party, Mom.
69
00:04:35,327 --> 00:04:37,761
You didn't spoil the party.
70
00:04:42,447 --> 00:04:43,960
I brought you a Twinkie.
71
00:04:46,647 --> 00:04:48,763
I'm not hungry right now.
72
00:04:50,047 --> 00:04:51,844
Feeling different again?
73
00:04:52,527 --> 00:04:55,564
It's like l don't fit in.
It's like l don't belong here.
74
00:04:56,887 --> 00:04:59,799
It's your birthday, and it's time you knew.
75
00:05:00,807 --> 00:05:03,037
You're not our natural-born child.
76
00:05:08,687 --> 00:05:10,040
I'm not?
77
00:05:11,447 --> 00:05:13,483
You were left on our doorstep...
78
00:05:14,207 --> 00:05:16,926
...but we raised you
like you were one of us.
79
00:05:17,207 --> 00:05:19,880
You mean l'm going to stay this color?
80
00:05:23,487 --> 00:05:27,605
I'd love you if you were the color
of a baboon's ass. Come here.
81
00:05:36,247 --> 00:05:39,956
Navin, l wrapped your sandwich
in cellophane, just like you like it.
82
00:05:41,567 --> 00:05:45,037
You want to come in and sing some blues?
83
00:05:45,767 --> 00:05:47,200
No, thanks, Taj.
84
00:05:47,807 --> 00:05:50,002
There's something about those songs.
85
00:05:50,687 --> 00:05:52,359
They depress me.
86
00:05:53,127 --> 00:05:54,879
Come here, darling.
87
00:06:04,047 --> 00:06:05,639
That's it, darling.
88
00:06:07,647 --> 00:06:09,638
You're getting the rhythm. See?
89
00:06:18,247 --> 00:06:20,886
And that concludes
this Sunday night Gospel Hour...
90
00:06:20,967 --> 00:06:23,037
...live from the
Four Square Gospel Church...
91
00:06:23,127 --> 00:06:26,005
...at the Divine Salvation
in St. Louis, Missouri.
92
00:06:26,087 --> 00:06:28,362
The Reverend Willard Willman, Pastor.
93
00:06:28,447 --> 00:06:30,597
And now, music throughout the night.
94
00:06:30,687 --> 00:06:32,643
Music in a mellow mood.
95
00:07:44,607 --> 00:07:47,041
-Grandma!.
-What happened?
96
00:07:47,847 --> 00:07:49,280
-Look!.
-What happened?
97
00:07:49,367 --> 00:07:51,642
Don't touch that radio!. Don't touch it!.
98
00:07:51,847 --> 00:07:53,599
Turn it up!. Turn it up!.
99
00:07:54,287 --> 00:07:56,676
I've never heard music like this before!.
100
00:07:56,887 --> 00:07:59,640
It speaks to me!. Taj!. Dad!.
101
00:07:59,727 --> 00:08:02,525
This is unbelievable. Now watch.
102
00:08:05,687 --> 00:08:06,722
Yeah?
103
00:08:08,087 --> 00:08:11,636
Well, if this is out there,
think how much more is out there!.
104
00:08:11,727 --> 00:08:15,845
This is the kind of music that tells me
to go out there and be somebody!.
105
00:08:17,327 --> 00:08:19,283
-But Navin--
-Let him go.
106
00:08:28,967 --> 00:08:31,640
Now that you're going out into the world...
107
00:08:31,727 --> 00:08:33,604
...there's something you should know.
108
00:08:34,967 --> 00:08:37,083
-You see that?
-Yeah.
109
00:08:37,287 --> 00:08:38,800
That's shit.
110
00:08:40,047 --> 00:08:43,084
And this is Shinola.
111
00:08:45,607 --> 00:08:46,801
Shit.
112
00:08:48,167 --> 00:08:49,520
Shinola.
113
00:08:49,687 --> 00:08:51,803
Son, you're gonna be all right.
114
00:08:52,567 --> 00:08:55,400
Now, what town
are you gonna try for first?
115
00:08:55,807 --> 00:08:59,561
I thought l'd go to St. Louis 'cause
that's where that radio show was from.
116
00:08:59,807 --> 00:09:03,436
And remember,
the Lord loves a working man.
117
00:09:03,527 --> 00:09:05,563
-"Lord loves a working man."
-And son...
118
00:09:05,687 --> 00:09:08,155
...don't never, ever trust Whitey.
119
00:09:08,327 --> 00:09:11,717
"Don't trust Whitey. Lord loves
a working man, don't trust Whitey."
120
00:09:13,727 --> 00:09:14,955
Baby.
121
00:09:16,127 --> 00:09:17,242
Daddy.
122
00:09:19,807 --> 00:09:21,877
Pierre. Come here.
123
00:09:22,527 --> 00:09:24,245
Don't you forget to grow up now.
124
00:09:24,327 --> 00:09:26,921
-Good luck, brother.
-Send me a picture postcard.
125
00:09:28,807 --> 00:09:31,082
Okay, let the boy go.
126
00:09:31,207 --> 00:09:33,721
-Bye.
-We got work to do.
127
00:09:34,167 --> 00:09:37,443
And l hope you find
whatever it is you're looking for.
128
00:09:39,647 --> 00:09:42,719
I will, Ma. I know it's out there.
129
00:09:42,847 --> 00:09:46,442
It's out there, all right. If you catch it,
see a doctor and get rid of it.
130
00:09:46,607 --> 00:09:48,723
-"See a doctor and get rid of it."
-Good luck.
131
00:09:48,807 --> 00:09:51,367
"Lord loves a working man.
Don't trust Whitey.
132
00:09:51,447 --> 00:09:53,563
"See a doctor and get rid of it."
133
00:09:54,567 --> 00:09:56,080
Bye, Grandma!.
134
00:10:09,727 --> 00:10:12,195
I sure do miss Navin.
135
00:10:13,927 --> 00:10:15,804
Is he ever coming back?
136
00:10:16,687 --> 00:10:20,646
Take away his place setting.
It's making us too goddamn sad.
137
00:10:25,207 --> 00:10:27,243
I wonder if he's doing all right?
138
00:10:28,167 --> 00:10:30,601
Navin!. How you doing?
139
00:10:30,687 --> 00:10:34,157
Don't worry about me.
I think l see a car coming.
140
00:10:34,367 --> 00:10:37,439
No, wait. It's a truck!.
141
00:10:38,327 --> 00:10:39,840
Lord...
142
00:10:40,327 --> 00:10:42,204
...take care of our little boy.
143
00:10:47,767 --> 00:10:50,156
-I'm hitchhiking.
-How far you going?
144
00:10:50,247 --> 00:10:52,556
St. Louis. How far are you going?
145
00:10:52,807 --> 00:10:54,957
To the end of this fence.
146
00:10:55,807 --> 00:10:57,001
Okay.
147
00:11:01,007 --> 00:11:03,805
I'm Navin Johnson. What's your name, sir?
148
00:11:03,887 --> 00:11:06,640
-Here we are.
-Okay.
149
00:11:12,127 --> 00:11:14,038
Thanks for the company.
150
00:11:14,607 --> 00:11:17,405
I hope l can repay you someday.
151
00:12:07,207 --> 00:12:09,038
Well, what is it, boy? Are you lost?
152
00:12:09,847 --> 00:12:12,884
Do you want to play? ls it trouble?
153
00:12:15,327 --> 00:12:16,521
Trouble?
154
00:12:17,487 --> 00:12:19,239
Is it an accident?
155
00:12:19,407 --> 00:12:20,726
A drowning?
156
00:12:21,287 --> 00:12:22,686
A fire?
157
00:12:23,087 --> 00:12:24,486
Fire!.
158
00:12:27,887 --> 00:12:30,037
We've got to warn everybody!.
159
00:12:30,127 --> 00:12:33,563
I've heard about dogs like you.
You're going to be famous!.
160
00:12:34,047 --> 00:12:37,756
You're going to get your picture taken,
and they'll put it in the paper!.
161
00:12:38,127 --> 00:12:39,401
This is exciting!.
162
00:12:39,487 --> 00:12:43,321
You saved my life!.
Come on, let's warn everybody!.
163
00:12:45,687 --> 00:12:48,520
Fire!. It's a fire!. Fire!. There's a fire!.
164
00:12:48,607 --> 00:12:51,565
Everybody!. Up!. Wake up!. It's a fire!.
165
00:12:51,647 --> 00:12:54,559
It's a fire!.
This dog, he's saving everybody's life!.
166
00:12:54,647 --> 00:12:58,003
He's unbelievable!. He's some dog!.
He's a lifesaver!.
167
00:12:58,087 --> 00:13:02,444
That's what l'll call him, too!.
Ol' Lifesaver!. That will be your name!.
168
00:13:05,607 --> 00:13:09,043
Folks!. False alarm. There's no fire.
169
00:13:10,727 --> 00:13:13,719
Mister, don't call that dog "Lifesaver."
170
00:13:13,807 --> 00:13:16,879
-No?
-Call him "Shithead."
171
00:13:17,087 --> 00:13:19,476
Good. "Shithead."
172
00:13:20,247 --> 00:13:21,726
It's exciting.
173
00:13:22,487 --> 00:13:26,116
It's just exciting to have
this kind of life on the road.
174
00:13:26,327 --> 00:13:28,045
A guy and his dog.
175
00:13:31,967 --> 00:13:33,525
St. Louis?
176
00:13:33,647 --> 00:13:35,558
No. Navin Johnson.
177
00:13:35,687 --> 00:13:37,996
No, do you want a lift to St. Louis?
178
00:13:38,247 --> 00:13:40,602
-Okay, thanks.
-Hop in.
179
00:13:43,567 --> 00:13:45,762
This'll be fine right here.
180
00:13:54,807 --> 00:13:56,445
Thank you.
181
00:13:58,287 --> 00:14:00,642
-Where you going?
-To the bathroom.
182
00:14:00,767 --> 00:14:03,361
-Got to have a key.
-Can l get one?
183
00:14:03,447 --> 00:14:06,166
My key is for customers who buy gas.
184
00:14:07,407 --> 00:14:08,726
I'm buying gas.
185
00:14:08,927 --> 00:14:10,724
I don't see no car.
186
00:14:10,927 --> 00:14:13,395
I just need enough for my lighter.
187
00:14:13,487 --> 00:14:14,363
Look at this!.
188
00:14:14,447 --> 00:14:17,484
And my wife wanted me to stay home.
Look what l would've missed.
189
00:14:17,567 --> 00:14:19,797
A complete fill-up for a whole lighter?
190
00:14:19,887 --> 00:14:22,276
-It's on that wall.
-Thank you.
191
00:14:30,407 --> 00:14:32,967
-And don't walk away with it.
-I won't.
192
00:14:34,687 --> 00:14:35,915
Pop-top.
193
00:14:36,087 --> 00:14:38,237
Silver Bird, l'm talking to you!.
194
00:14:39,007 --> 00:14:41,646
Listen, you want to be
president of Texaco Oil?
195
00:14:42,487 --> 00:14:45,081
-Sure!.
-Then clean up the sink in there.
196
00:14:46,807 --> 00:14:49,446
Then l'll be president of Texaco Oil?
197
00:14:49,967 --> 00:14:51,923
Whatever happened
to working your way up?
198
00:14:52,007 --> 00:14:55,795
Working for me 10 minutes, and already
he wants to be president. The nerve.
199
00:14:56,527 --> 00:14:58,040
Get to work in there!.
200
00:14:58,127 --> 00:15:00,322
But, sir, l don't work here.
201
00:15:00,727 --> 00:15:02,399
Not even for $1 .10 an hour?
202
00:15:27,447 --> 00:15:30,757
"Dear Folks, l got this greatjob
in a gas station.
203
00:15:30,847 --> 00:15:32,838
"l don't want to say
how much l'm getting...
204
00:15:32,927 --> 00:15:35,077
"...but let'sjust say it's a lot!
205
00:15:35,167 --> 00:15:37,123
"l'm enclosing $2!"
206
00:15:37,207 --> 00:15:39,323
That's a good boy!.
207
00:15:39,647 --> 00:15:42,844
"lt's a lot of fun working,
and Mr. Hartounian is really nice.
208
00:15:43,007 --> 00:15:45,123
"He's teaching me how to be impatient.
209
00:15:46,407 --> 00:15:51,037
"Well, l've got to go now. What do you
think l do, write letters all day?"
210
00:15:53,407 --> 00:15:56,240
-You actually sleep here?
-Yes. Is that okay?
211
00:15:57,567 --> 00:16:00,081
Come with me.
I got a beautiful little place for you.
212
00:16:00,687 --> 00:16:03,599
Put the light on.
You're going to like it here.
213
00:16:04,887 --> 00:16:09,403
Like it? l love it!. This is fabulous!.
214
00:16:10,447 --> 00:16:12,324
You got the toilet here!.
215
00:16:12,447 --> 00:16:15,007
This must be the kitchen. No.
216
00:16:16,527 --> 00:16:17,926
You know what l could do...
217
00:16:18,007 --> 00:16:20,396
...is take this wall
and just turn it this way...
218
00:16:20,487 --> 00:16:22,523
...so l've got a larger living space...
219
00:16:22,607 --> 00:16:26,361
...plus it'll create a flow into
the main living area. It'll be incredible.
220
00:16:26,447 --> 00:16:28,756
No, l'll just elevate this about six inches...
221
00:16:28,847 --> 00:16:32,442
...create the illusion of two rooms,
and yet still have that flow.
222
00:16:32,527 --> 00:16:35,121
Then l can take bookshelves
and put it here.
223
00:16:35,647 --> 00:16:39,401
No, l'll put the books right over here.
That way l can be relaxing over here...
224
00:16:39,487 --> 00:16:43,366
...the customers can use the urinal. I won't
disturb them, they won't disturb me.
225
00:16:43,447 --> 00:16:46,120
Take it easy. It's not here. It's in here.
226
00:16:48,527 --> 00:16:50,757
I couldn't afford this anyway.
227
00:16:50,967 --> 00:16:52,605
Well, this is it.
228
00:16:54,047 --> 00:16:55,366
It's perfect!.
229
00:16:55,447 --> 00:16:57,483
I won't have to change this at all!.
230
00:16:57,607 --> 00:16:58,835
Take a look.
231
00:16:59,087 --> 00:17:02,045
No kitchen, no windows,
no chairs, no tables.
232
00:17:02,167 --> 00:17:04,123
It's a masterpiece of understatement.
233
00:17:04,367 --> 00:17:08,724
I'll put a bed down here, get a bigger bulb.
I'll bring some sheets from the house.
234
00:17:08,807 --> 00:17:10,445
You'll be set for life.
235
00:17:12,527 --> 00:17:14,995
How much is this gonna cost me?
236
00:17:15,087 --> 00:17:18,204
Nothing. When you're rich and famous,
you'll send me a postcard.
237
00:17:20,407 --> 00:17:21,965
A postcard?
238
00:17:27,967 --> 00:17:30,322
Okay!. It's a deal.
239
00:17:31,167 --> 00:17:32,395
It's a deal.
240
00:17:34,327 --> 00:17:35,601
What are those?
241
00:17:35,687 --> 00:17:37,723
Step outside for a second, darling.
242
00:17:38,047 --> 00:17:40,845
Navin, this is my wife Lenore.
Lenore, this is Navin.
243
00:17:41,327 --> 00:17:42,521
Pleased to meet you.
244
00:17:42,647 --> 00:17:45,878
Do you know why a woman
of such pulchritude is married to me?
245
00:17:46,007 --> 00:17:47,725
'Cause l make a comfortable living.
246
00:17:47,807 --> 00:17:50,560
This is the first time
l'm leaving you alone on a Sunday.
247
00:17:50,647 --> 00:17:54,356
If anything should happen to this station,
this woman would leave me like a--
248
00:17:56,487 --> 00:17:58,762
In other words, there would be no more....
249
00:17:59,407 --> 00:18:02,444
-Do you know what l'm talking about?
-Yes, sir. No more....
250
00:18:04,407 --> 00:18:07,240
So remember,
guard this station with your life...
251
00:18:07,367 --> 00:18:10,006
...because my sex life is in your hands.
252
00:18:21,167 --> 00:18:22,885
I can fix those shocks.
253
00:18:22,967 --> 00:18:26,357
No. We just want some gas, muchacho.
254
00:18:26,447 --> 00:18:29,405
Okay. But it's Sunday.
We've got to have a credit card.
255
00:18:30,327 --> 00:18:32,238
And all the cash is locked up?
256
00:18:32,327 --> 00:18:36,286
No, not locked up. We got a lot of cash.
Just that the banks are closed...
257
00:18:36,367 --> 00:18:38,961
...and l'm not allowed to have cash
coming in or out.
258
00:18:39,047 --> 00:18:41,925
I'm alone for the first time.
I don't want anything to happen.
259
00:18:42,007 --> 00:18:45,920
You flash this kind of wad in front
of some people, they'll kill you for it.
260
00:18:46,007 --> 00:18:47,804
So, we've got to have a credit card.
261
00:18:48,527 --> 00:18:51,166
Have we got a credit card in there?
262
00:18:51,327 --> 00:18:53,158
Credit card.
263
00:18:59,647 --> 00:19:01,285
No, thanks. I don't smoke.
264
00:19:01,447 --> 00:19:03,881
-What kind of cigarette is that?
-Joint.
265
00:19:04,047 --> 00:19:05,036
Joint?
266
00:19:05,487 --> 00:19:06,886
They don't make 'em very good.
267
00:19:06,967 --> 00:19:10,277
-MasterCharge do?
-That's fine. We take MasterCharge.
268
00:19:10,527 --> 00:19:14,042
You want a fill-up, Mrs. Nussbaum?
269
00:19:15,887 --> 00:19:17,684
I'm Mr. Nussbaum.
270
00:19:17,967 --> 00:19:20,276
Yeah, that's his wife's card.
271
00:19:20,407 --> 00:19:23,444
-His wife's card?
-Yeah, l'll vouch for him.
272
00:19:23,527 --> 00:19:25,722
Okay, as long as we got a voucher.
273
00:19:36,927 --> 00:19:38,406
Stolen!.
274
00:19:58,767 --> 00:20:01,361
I got it!. Just send a police car over.
275
00:20:02,047 --> 00:20:05,722
Mrs. Nussbaum's credit card!.
I got the guys who stole it.
276
00:20:07,567 --> 00:20:09,876
Hold on, they're calling me!.
I'll be right back!.
277
00:20:14,687 --> 00:20:17,918
-Yes?
-Yeah, throw a couple of tires in the trunk.
278
00:20:18,887 --> 00:20:20,479
Put it on the card. Radials.
279
00:20:20,567 --> 00:20:24,196
-Make them whitewalls.
-Yes, sir, Mr. Nussbaum.
280
00:20:30,807 --> 00:20:32,877
I'm back, only it's worse than l thought.
281
00:20:32,967 --> 00:20:36,755
They're not only sticking us for gas,
but grabbing tires and everything.
282
00:20:36,847 --> 00:20:38,485
They're really socking it to us.
283
00:20:38,567 --> 00:20:41,286
Yeah, it's Hartounian's Gas Station
at the corner--
284
00:20:41,367 --> 00:20:43,961
Hang on a second.
I don't want to get 'em suspicious.
285
00:20:45,927 --> 00:20:49,203
Don't worry, l can keep 'em here.
I saw this trick in a movie.
286
00:20:53,167 --> 00:20:55,727
-Got your tires!.
-Yeah, good.
287
00:21:37,887 --> 00:21:39,559
-Anything else?
-Yeah.
288
00:21:39,647 --> 00:21:42,639
We'll take that money
you got in your pocket.
289
00:21:43,647 --> 00:21:45,877
Sure. I'll just put it on the card.
290
00:21:47,807 --> 00:21:50,765
Guess what!.
You're our eighth customer today!.
291
00:21:50,887 --> 00:21:53,606
You won a free oven mitt!.
292
00:21:53,887 --> 00:21:55,957
I'll go get it for you.
293
00:22:09,847 --> 00:22:11,519
Yeah, l'm back.
294
00:22:13,247 --> 00:22:16,683
Yeah, they're gonna be here for a while.
Don't worry. I've rigged it.
295
00:22:17,327 --> 00:22:20,239
You guys want to stick around
for an oven mitt?
296
00:22:26,087 --> 00:22:27,566
Hang on just a second.
297
00:22:53,127 --> 00:22:57,006
They might not be here
exactly when you get back but...
298
00:22:57,727 --> 00:23:00,878
...it's a blue Chevy two-door.
299
00:23:01,287 --> 00:23:04,836
And it'd be going south on Hertado Street.
300
00:23:05,127 --> 00:23:08,039
No, l can't make out
the license number, but...
301
00:23:08,887 --> 00:23:11,037
...it'd be pulling a small church.
302
00:23:11,647 --> 00:23:16,323
Any blue Chevy pulling a small church
l figure that'd be the one, yeah.
303
00:23:17,247 --> 00:23:19,602
Believe me, l'm not mad at you.
304
00:23:19,887 --> 00:23:22,845
What's the matter with you?
What did l lose, a couple of tires?
305
00:23:25,367 --> 00:23:28,120
Look at the bright side.
We also lost a church.
306
00:23:28,727 --> 00:23:30,683
Mr. Hartounian.
307
00:23:36,007 --> 00:23:37,963
Oh, my God!.
308
00:23:39,847 --> 00:23:41,200
Thank you.
309
00:23:49,607 --> 00:23:52,280
The new phone book's here!.
310
00:23:52,367 --> 00:23:54,562
I wish l could get that excited
about nothing.
311
00:23:54,647 --> 00:23:57,320
Nothing? Are you kidding? Page 73!.
312
00:23:57,487 --> 00:24:00,399
"Johnson, Navin R."
313
00:24:00,967 --> 00:24:05,119
I'm somebody now!. Millions of people
look at this book every day!.
314
00:24:05,247 --> 00:24:07,522
This is the kind of spontaneous publicity...
315
00:24:07,607 --> 00:24:10,758
...your name in print, that makes people!.
316
00:24:11,727 --> 00:24:13,399
I'm in print!.
317
00:24:14,767 --> 00:24:18,123
Things are going to start happening
to me now.
318
00:24:21,407 --> 00:24:23,398
"Johnson, Navin R."
319
00:24:23,487 --> 00:24:25,557
Sounds like a typical bastard.
320
00:24:29,327 --> 00:24:31,966
Die, Navin R. Johnson.
321
00:24:35,247 --> 00:24:36,316
Bastard!.
322
00:24:36,407 --> 00:24:39,717
Random son of a bitch,
typical run-of-the-mill bastard.
323
00:24:40,447 --> 00:24:42,881
-Fill 'er up?
-Fill 'er up and a little bit extra.
324
00:24:42,967 --> 00:24:46,357
-Stan Fox, buying gas.
-Navin R. Johnson selling it, sir!.
325
00:24:46,767 --> 00:24:49,042
Gotcha, you average...
326
00:24:49,207 --> 00:24:53,485
...typical blocking-the-view-
of-a-goddamn-average-victim bastard!.
327
00:24:53,847 --> 00:24:56,680
-Check your oil?
-Check away, Navin R. Johnson.
328
00:24:56,767 --> 00:24:58,200
Oil rag at the ready, sir!.
329
00:24:58,287 --> 00:25:00,562
-Let's check the oil together.
-Yes, sir.
330
00:25:01,367 --> 00:25:02,197
Thank you.
331
00:25:05,167 --> 00:25:06,486
Son-of-a-blocking bastard!.
332
00:25:07,447 --> 00:25:10,041
Looks good to me, sir,
but l'd like your opinion.
333
00:25:10,247 --> 00:25:11,680
Damn these glasses.
334
00:25:11,807 --> 00:25:14,480
It looks good to me, too.
Hurry up. Time's a wasting.
335
00:25:14,567 --> 00:25:18,480
I'm going to the john. Don't forget
to check those tires. Damn these glasses.
336
00:25:18,567 --> 00:25:21,161
Yes, sir!. I damn thee!.
337
00:25:22,247 --> 00:25:23,600
Damn!.
338
00:25:27,767 --> 00:25:29,917
Damn these glasses!.
339
00:25:31,087 --> 00:25:33,282
-I can fix those glasses.
-You can?
340
00:25:33,407 --> 00:25:35,443
Well, here, fix those suckers!.
341
00:25:46,287 --> 00:25:47,322
Shit!.
342
00:26:06,207 --> 00:26:08,562
Guess what? l fixed 'em.
343
00:26:10,047 --> 00:26:11,560
I was back there thinking...
344
00:26:11,647 --> 00:26:14,684
..."What causes glasses to slip on and off?. "
345
00:26:14,767 --> 00:26:17,201
And it's because
when you take them on and off...
346
00:26:17,327 --> 00:26:19,397
...you're putting pressure on the frames.
347
00:26:19,487 --> 00:26:21,000
It causes them to spread.
348
00:26:21,127 --> 00:26:24,244
So l put a little handle
right here in the center...
349
00:26:24,367 --> 00:26:26,642
...that puts the pressure on the bridge.
350
00:26:26,727 --> 00:26:28,797
Just like the tie rods on a '72 Buick.
351
00:26:28,967 --> 00:26:32,801
Plus, l put a little nose brake on here
to prevent slippage. Try it.
352
00:26:33,447 --> 00:26:34,846
Use the handle.
353
00:26:38,127 --> 00:26:39,196
Well, l'll be.
354
00:26:40,767 --> 00:26:41,643
It works.
355
00:26:43,607 --> 00:26:47,236
I make a pretty good living
selling shit like this. I'll tell you what.
356
00:26:47,327 --> 00:26:50,683
If l can develop this gizmo,
l'll split it with you fifty-fifty.
357
00:26:51,127 --> 00:26:53,482
How much for the gas?
l got a load of shit to sell.
358
00:26:53,567 --> 00:26:56,320
-$26.41 .
-Here's a triple dix. Keep the change.
359
00:26:56,807 --> 00:26:58,206
Thanks!.
360
00:27:01,407 --> 00:27:04,717
Dead center!. Say your prayers, half-breed!.
361
00:27:13,967 --> 00:27:16,481
Harry!. Look at this!.
362
00:27:17,087 --> 00:27:19,555
What's the matter with these cans?
363
00:27:20,287 --> 00:27:22,118
Die, milk-face!.
364
00:27:25,327 --> 00:27:28,239
These cans are defective.
They're springing leaks.
365
00:27:28,367 --> 00:27:29,766
Come and look at this.
366
00:27:31,007 --> 00:27:33,726
You better run for cover
or you'll spring a leak.
367
00:27:34,087 --> 00:27:36,760
We don't have defective cans.
We have a defective person!.
368
00:27:39,887 --> 00:27:41,798
He hates these cans.
369
00:27:43,167 --> 00:27:44,964
Stay away from the cans!.
370
00:27:45,167 --> 00:27:46,964
Die, gas pumper!.
371
00:27:47,967 --> 00:27:50,356
I've got to get away from those cans!.
372
00:27:50,527 --> 00:27:52,404
There's cans in there, too!.
373
00:27:52,487 --> 00:27:53,761
Run!. Run!.
374
00:27:56,567 --> 00:27:57,966
More cans!.
375
00:27:58,767 --> 00:28:00,325
Die, you bastard!.
376
00:28:02,847 --> 00:28:06,157
He doesn't want to put holes in cans.
He wants to put holes in you.
377
00:28:06,247 --> 00:28:07,646
What?
378
00:28:10,487 --> 00:28:12,364
Milk-faced bastard!.
379
00:28:13,647 --> 00:28:15,797
Oh, my God!. I'm endangering your life!.
380
00:28:15,887 --> 00:28:17,639
-Cover me!.
-You're covered.
381
00:28:18,367 --> 00:28:20,039
Suck my toes!.
382
00:28:24,687 --> 00:28:27,076
You stay here!. I'll distract him!.
383
00:28:41,647 --> 00:28:43,842
Shithead!. Come on!.
384
00:28:45,847 --> 00:28:48,156
Come on, boy!. Good boy!.
385
00:29:16,767 --> 00:29:19,645
"Carnival personnel only." Damn!.
386
00:29:24,127 --> 00:29:25,526
Shithead, come on!.
387
00:29:26,167 --> 00:29:28,123
You're not carnival personnel!.
388
00:29:32,847 --> 00:29:35,441
He's not carnival personnel!.
389
00:29:37,167 --> 00:29:38,919
Okay, move it out!.
390
00:29:44,687 --> 00:29:48,043
"So, Mom, when l told Mr. Hartounian
l'd come back, he said:
391
00:29:48,207 --> 00:29:49,560
"'Don't be a putz.
392
00:29:49,727 --> 00:29:52,082
"'See the world. Me you've seen already.'
393
00:29:52,207 --> 00:29:56,564
"l took his advice and got a job with
SJM Fiesta Shows as a weight guesser.
394
00:29:56,727 --> 00:30:00,197
"Frosty, my boss, told me
there's a big future in weight guessing.
395
00:30:00,447 --> 00:30:04,281
"Enclosed is $4.75 for my loving family.
396
00:30:04,887 --> 00:30:07,560
"P.S. Is grandma still farting?"
397
00:30:07,767 --> 00:30:12,204
For $1, l'll guess your weight,
your height or your sex.
398
00:30:12,487 --> 00:30:15,001
The most exciting thing on the midway.
399
00:30:15,087 --> 00:30:19,319
Imagine the thrill of getting
your weight guessed by a professional.
400
00:30:19,647 --> 00:30:22,445
You can blow up your cheeks,
you can stick out your chest...
401
00:30:22,527 --> 00:30:24,995
...but you're not going to fool the guesser!.
402
00:30:25,087 --> 00:30:27,203
How 'bout you, sir? Step right up!.
403
00:30:27,287 --> 00:30:30,882
Honey, let's see how good this guy is.
Now, what do l win?
404
00:30:31,967 --> 00:30:35,596
Anything in this general area right in here.
405
00:30:35,687 --> 00:30:39,760
Anything below the stereo and
on this side of the bicentennial glasses.
406
00:30:39,847 --> 00:30:43,601
Anything between the ashtrays
and the thimble.
407
00:30:43,967 --> 00:30:47,926
Anything in this three inches
right in here, in this area.
408
00:30:48,007 --> 00:30:50,646
That includes the Chiclets,
but not the erasers.
409
00:30:50,727 --> 00:30:52,479
No, sir!. Come on, honey.
410
00:30:52,567 --> 00:30:54,762
He thought he had himself a rube.
411
00:30:57,447 --> 00:30:59,756
Frosty, l'm no good at this.
412
00:30:59,847 --> 00:31:01,678
Come on. You're doing fine.
413
00:31:01,807 --> 00:31:05,595
I've already given away eight pencils,
two hula dolls and an ashtray...
414
00:31:05,687 --> 00:31:07,723
...and l've only taken in $15.
415
00:31:08,087 --> 00:31:10,726
Navin, you have taken in $15...
416
00:31:10,847 --> 00:31:13,441
...and given away 50 cents worth of crap!.
417
00:31:14,047 --> 00:31:17,198
Which gives us a net profit of $14.50.
418
00:31:22,727 --> 00:31:25,036
It's a profit deal.
419
00:31:27,727 --> 00:31:29,877
Takes the pressure off.
420
00:31:30,687 --> 00:31:33,565
Get your weight guessed right here!.
Only a buck!.
421
00:31:33,647 --> 00:31:38,038
Actual weight guessing!. Take a chance,
win some crap. Step right up--
422
00:31:38,127 --> 00:31:40,595
Ladies and gentlemen...
423
00:31:40,807 --> 00:31:45,278
...l draw your attention now
to the left side ofthe midway.
424
00:31:45,607 --> 00:31:49,964
Presenting the amazing Patti Bernstein...
425
00:31:50,887 --> 00:31:53,242
...doing her special ride...
426
00:31:53,367 --> 00:31:56,359
...through the Flaming Wall of Death!
427
00:32:58,927 --> 00:33:00,918
Want to guess my weight, Greenie?
428
00:33:01,207 --> 00:33:03,767
I saw you last night. You were great.
429
00:33:03,927 --> 00:33:06,157
Yeah, right. Turn around.
430
00:33:06,927 --> 00:33:08,076
What?
431
00:33:08,247 --> 00:33:09,805
Turn around.
432
00:33:11,927 --> 00:33:13,246
Go like this.
433
00:33:17,087 --> 00:33:20,284
You're okay.
Give me a bite of that corn dog.
434
00:33:20,687 --> 00:33:22,564
What about germs?
435
00:33:23,407 --> 00:33:25,238
Put a rubber on it.
436
00:33:27,807 --> 00:33:29,126
Get on.
437
00:33:35,647 --> 00:33:37,877
Don't you wear him out!.
He's got to work tonight.
438
00:33:44,447 --> 00:33:46,005
What a great place!.
439
00:33:49,367 --> 00:33:52,803
You know, you can tell so much
about a person from the way they live.
440
00:33:52,887 --> 00:33:54,878
Just looking around here, l can tell...
441
00:33:54,967 --> 00:33:57,606
...you're a genuinely dirty person.
442
00:34:01,407 --> 00:34:02,726
What do l do with this?
443
00:34:06,087 --> 00:34:07,805
You keep it there.
444
00:34:11,807 --> 00:34:13,286
Where's your garbage?
445
00:34:16,727 --> 00:34:17,796
There.
446
00:34:21,767 --> 00:34:24,281
-Do you know what l'd like to do?
-What?
447
00:34:25,567 --> 00:34:27,046
Guess your weight.
448
00:34:27,127 --> 00:34:28,765
That would be interesting for me.
449
00:34:28,847 --> 00:34:31,042
No one has tried to guess my weight.
450
00:34:31,127 --> 00:34:34,119
-I guess their weight so it would be sort--
-Put your arms up.
451
00:34:36,607 --> 00:34:39,326
This will give me
a whole different perspective on this.
452
00:34:44,127 --> 00:34:46,561
You're really trying to be accurate.
453
00:34:52,167 --> 00:34:54,078
Is it getting hot in here?
454
00:34:55,127 --> 00:34:56,924
Wait a minute!.
455
00:34:57,167 --> 00:34:59,556
What's happening to my special purpose?
456
00:34:59,647 --> 00:35:01,126
What's your special purpose?
457
00:35:01,207 --> 00:35:04,279
When l was a kid, my mom told me
that was my special purpose...
458
00:35:04,367 --> 00:35:07,200
...and someday l'd find out
what that special purpose was!.
459
00:35:07,287 --> 00:35:09,039
Today's the day!.
460
00:35:14,527 --> 00:35:16,404
This is like a ride!.
461
00:35:18,007 --> 00:35:21,556
"My dear family, guess what?
462
00:35:22,207 --> 00:35:27,406
"Today l found out
what my special purpose is for.
463
00:35:28,687 --> 00:35:31,599
"Gosh, what a great time l had.
464
00:35:31,927 --> 00:35:35,715
"l wish the whole family
could have been here with me.
465
00:35:36,287 --> 00:35:38,755
"Maybe some other time...
466
00:35:39,207 --> 00:35:42,244
"...as l intend to do this a lot...
467
00:35:42,967 --> 00:35:45,242
"...every chance l get.
468
00:35:45,847 --> 00:35:49,123
"l think next week
l'll be able to send more money...
469
00:35:49,247 --> 00:35:51,761
"...as l may have extra work.
470
00:35:52,007 --> 00:35:55,124
"My friend Patti promised me a blow job.
471
00:35:55,207 --> 00:35:57,198
"Your loving son, Navin."
472
00:35:57,527 --> 00:35:59,961
And he's got the kisses here.
473
00:36:01,927 --> 00:36:05,806
-That Patti must be a sweet girl.
-God bless her.
474
00:36:31,887 --> 00:36:36,039
Do you think we'll get to know each other
well enough to kiss?
475
00:36:36,127 --> 00:36:38,516
We don't have to. You're my man.
476
00:36:38,687 --> 00:36:41,485
It's like we're married. Look at my ass.
477
00:36:43,807 --> 00:36:47,322
You have my last name tattooed
right there under the J's.
478
00:36:48,207 --> 00:36:52,166
First l get my name in the phone book,
and now l'm on your ass.
479
00:36:52,487 --> 00:36:56,366
You know, l'll bet more people
see that than the phone book.
480
00:37:08,967 --> 00:37:10,241
End of the line.
481
00:37:10,327 --> 00:37:13,717
This is Engineer Fred.
Come back and visit me again.
482
00:37:17,687 --> 00:37:19,006
Billy!.
483
00:37:25,367 --> 00:37:29,838
Have you seen a 5-year-old boy, blond hair,
wearing a T-shirt that says "bullshit" on it?
484
00:37:29,967 --> 00:37:34,199
No, there was just one kid had a T-shirt
that said "life sucks" on it.
485
00:37:34,487 --> 00:37:37,843
We got off the Round-Up,
and he said he wanted to go on the train.
486
00:37:37,927 --> 00:37:39,599
There he is!. Billy!.
487
00:37:39,687 --> 00:37:41,439
-Come back here!.
-Get off the train.
488
00:37:41,927 --> 00:37:43,963
Pull that lever!. Pull the lever!.
489
00:37:44,047 --> 00:37:46,641
Here, hold that!. And these!.
490
00:37:47,887 --> 00:37:51,960
Take my keys. And hold my wallet. Okay.
491
00:37:52,647 --> 00:37:55,480
Don't touch the Johnson bar,
you'll explode the fuel casing!.
492
00:37:55,567 --> 00:37:58,559
And if the Wolfe and Smith
indicator gets above 160...
493
00:37:58,647 --> 00:38:01,400
-...turn that off there.
-I can't take you here anymore.
494
00:38:01,487 --> 00:38:04,479
There's a screwdriver.
Put it in, turn it one quarter.
495
00:38:04,727 --> 00:38:06,524
Listen, we're going into a tunnel.
496
00:38:06,607 --> 00:38:09,167
Don't stand up.
The clearance is only 4 foot--
497
00:38:09,807 --> 00:38:11,479
-No.
-I'm okay.
498
00:38:11,567 --> 00:38:14,365
I was protected by the bill
of my Engineer Fred cap.
499
00:38:29,607 --> 00:38:31,882
Thanks for pulling my cap down.
500
00:38:35,687 --> 00:38:38,838
You scared me half to death.
Thank you so much.
501
00:38:39,007 --> 00:38:41,760
It would've been so embarrassing
to go home without Billy.
502
00:38:41,887 --> 00:38:47,086
Here's your gloves
and your oil can and your wallet.
503
00:38:47,767 --> 00:38:49,280
And this fell out.
504
00:38:52,167 --> 00:38:53,725
Those guys!.
505
00:38:53,967 --> 00:38:57,960
Listen, what you did just now
was very brave.
506
00:38:58,247 --> 00:39:00,442
Is there some way l could repay you?
507
00:39:00,727 --> 00:39:02,001
Repay me?
508
00:39:02,087 --> 00:39:05,204
I could never accept anything from you
for saving your child.
509
00:39:05,287 --> 00:39:09,519
He's not my child.
I'm just baby-sitting for a friend.
510
00:39:10,047 --> 00:39:13,926
-Would it be too much if l asked for a kiss?
-No.
511
00:39:16,647 --> 00:39:18,399
He's a real little dickens.
512
00:39:26,967 --> 00:39:28,286
Thank you.
513
00:39:32,687 --> 00:39:33,836
Miss?
514
00:39:35,047 --> 00:39:38,005
I was just standing here right now,
and l was...
515
00:39:38,207 --> 00:39:41,199
...wondering, if you weren't
doing anything tomorrow...
516
00:39:43,567 --> 00:39:47,640
...maybe you might want to go out with....
517
00:39:48,207 --> 00:39:49,401
What?
518
00:39:50,727 --> 00:39:55,278
I thought maybe you might
want to go out with me.
519
00:39:55,767 --> 00:39:57,997
Are you trying to ask me for a date?
520
00:40:01,007 --> 00:40:04,477
Once for no, twice for yes.
521
00:40:07,367 --> 00:40:08,686
Okay.
522
00:40:10,567 --> 00:40:12,125
You're so cute.
523
00:40:12,247 --> 00:40:15,637
How about 3:30 tomorrow
at the Round-Up?
524
00:40:15,727 --> 00:40:17,285
Okay.
525
00:40:19,847 --> 00:40:21,838
Do you have any boyfriends?
526
00:40:23,527 --> 00:40:24,676
Not really.
527
00:40:24,767 --> 00:40:28,476
Are they crazy? lf l was a fella,
l'd be around all the time.
528
00:40:28,567 --> 00:40:31,161
Well, see if you can work it out.
529
00:40:31,367 --> 00:40:33,198
We have a date tomorrow.
530
00:40:34,687 --> 00:40:36,564
What's your name?
531
00:40:37,127 --> 00:40:38,162
Marie.
532
00:40:39,647 --> 00:40:41,126
What's yours?
533
00:40:41,207 --> 00:40:45,405
I'll tell you tomorrow. It'll give us
something interesting to talk about.
534
00:41:02,127 --> 00:41:03,196
Hi!.
535
00:41:03,327 --> 00:41:05,318
What's up, hubby?
536
00:41:07,007 --> 00:41:08,520
I got these for you.
537
00:41:11,727 --> 00:41:12,842
Thanks.
538
00:41:13,247 --> 00:41:16,364
Navin, you know the other day
when l showed you the tattoo?
539
00:41:16,447 --> 00:41:17,675
Yeah.
540
00:41:18,647 --> 00:41:20,638
Well, l forgot to tell you something.
541
00:41:20,727 --> 00:41:23,036
-Really? What?
-This.
542
00:41:28,527 --> 00:41:33,601
That's what's going to happen to you if
l ever catch you looking at another broad.
543
00:41:33,967 --> 00:41:35,400
I'm glad you told me.
544
00:41:35,487 --> 00:41:39,082
And remember, l did this without anger.
545
00:41:39,767 --> 00:41:42,486
And l stayed away from your crotch.
546
00:41:43,647 --> 00:41:45,285
Bye, sweetie.
547
00:41:47,487 --> 00:41:50,160
-Hi!.
-What happened?
548
00:41:50,447 --> 00:41:53,564
It was unbelievable.
These guys jumped me.
549
00:41:53,647 --> 00:41:56,525
They tried to get these flowers.
I got 'em for you.
550
00:41:56,607 --> 00:41:59,246
It's kind of a traditional date deal.
551
00:41:59,367 --> 00:42:02,484
Yeah, l've heard of that. What were they?
552
00:42:03,807 --> 00:42:05,638
Couple of dozen roses.
553
00:42:06,447 --> 00:42:08,165
Look like daisy stems.
554
00:42:08,287 --> 00:42:11,199
What? That guy gypped me.
555
00:42:11,287 --> 00:42:14,165
Put daisy stems on my roses.
556
00:42:14,967 --> 00:42:17,197
Look, these hoodlums are dangerous.
557
00:42:17,287 --> 00:42:19,926
I think we ought to get out of here
before she sees us.
558
00:42:20,367 --> 00:42:22,403
-"She"?
-What?
559
00:42:22,527 --> 00:42:25,200
-You said "she."
-No!.
560
00:42:25,287 --> 00:42:27,084
I always call a gang "she."
561
00:42:27,167 --> 00:42:30,557
It's like when you call a boat "she"
or a hurricane "she."
562
00:42:30,647 --> 00:42:31,796
Or a girl?
563
00:42:32,287 --> 00:42:36,439
You can call a girl "she." That's just one
of the many things you can call "she."
564
00:42:39,167 --> 00:42:40,964
Why are you smiling?
565
00:42:41,687 --> 00:42:44,121
You're the fiirst person
l've ever had at my place.
566
00:42:44,607 --> 00:42:45,722
Do you live here?
567
00:42:46,287 --> 00:42:47,720
It's nice.
568
00:42:47,847 --> 00:42:49,075
Did you decorate it?
569
00:42:49,167 --> 00:42:52,796
I got this from the old Cup O' Pizza place
before they tore it down.
570
00:42:56,567 --> 00:42:58,125
That was really good pizza.
571
00:42:58,247 --> 00:43:00,238
This is the best pizza in a cup ever.
572
00:43:00,327 --> 00:43:03,956
This guy's unbelievable. He ran the old
Cup O' Pizza guy out of business.
573
00:43:04,047 --> 00:43:06,481
People come from all over to get this.
574
00:43:19,767 --> 00:43:22,804
You know, you have beautiful skin.
575
00:43:25,727 --> 00:43:26,921
May l?
576
00:43:33,047 --> 00:43:35,607
So smooth and flexible.
577
00:43:36,407 --> 00:43:39,001
I take after my mother's side of the family.
578
00:43:39,287 --> 00:43:42,996
It's amazing the way it
just snaps back like that. Amazing.
579
00:43:44,727 --> 00:43:46,763
-Are you a model?
-No.
580
00:43:49,047 --> 00:43:51,038
I'm a cosmetologist.
581
00:43:51,407 --> 00:43:54,046
Really? A cosmetologist?
582
00:43:54,887 --> 00:43:56,718
That's unbelievable.
583
00:43:57,207 --> 00:43:58,879
That's impressive.
584
00:43:59,207 --> 00:44:01,960
It must be tough
to handle the weightlessness.
585
00:44:03,727 --> 00:44:05,797
Can l ask you a personal question?
586
00:44:07,167 --> 00:44:08,600
What is it?
587
00:44:10,287 --> 00:44:12,005
Now be totally honest.
588
00:44:13,487 --> 00:44:15,603
You do have a boyfriend, don't you?
589
00:44:16,247 --> 00:44:17,441
Kind of.
590
00:44:19,127 --> 00:44:21,357
I know this is our first date, but...
591
00:44:23,567 --> 00:44:27,401
...do you think the next time
you make love to your boyfriend...
592
00:44:29,167 --> 00:44:30,759
...you could think of me?
593
00:44:30,847 --> 00:44:34,396
-I haven't made love to him yet.
-That's too bad.
594
00:44:35,487 --> 00:44:37,318
Do you think it's possible that...
595
00:44:37,767 --> 00:44:38,995
...someday...
596
00:44:40,167 --> 00:44:42,681
...you could make love with me
and think of him?
597
00:44:42,887 --> 00:44:44,115
Who knows?
598
00:44:44,327 --> 00:44:47,364
Maybe you and he can make love
and you could think of me.
599
00:44:49,087 --> 00:44:51,442
I'd just be happy to be in there somewhere.
600
00:45:07,567 --> 00:45:09,080
Do you have a girlfriend?
601
00:45:09,207 --> 00:45:12,916
-Does it matter?
-I'd like to think you were available.
602
00:45:13,087 --> 00:45:14,884
I'm available.
603
00:45:26,007 --> 00:45:27,326
Did you forget about my ass?
604
00:45:27,407 --> 00:45:29,602
No, l've been thinking about it.
605
00:45:29,927 --> 00:45:31,918
She tattooed my name on her ass.
606
00:45:32,087 --> 00:45:34,078
Not just my name. A lot of names!.
607
00:45:34,247 --> 00:45:37,922
And funny things, too. She's got one
up here that says "Slippery when wet."
608
00:45:38,087 --> 00:45:41,124
-How do you know that?
-What is she, some great piece of ass?
609
00:45:41,207 --> 00:45:43,323
She's no great piece of ass!.
610
00:45:44,127 --> 00:45:47,005
I mean, wait a minute.
611
00:45:47,407 --> 00:45:50,319
We're all adults here.
Let's reason this out.
612
00:45:50,407 --> 00:45:52,762
Marie's the type of person that if you got--
613
00:45:52,847 --> 00:45:54,963
If this gash doesn't get out of here...
614
00:45:55,047 --> 00:45:57,402
...l am gonna drive this bike up her butt!.
615
00:45:57,487 --> 00:45:59,239
While Patti tends to be more direct.
616
00:45:59,327 --> 00:46:01,318
As for you, farm boy....
617
00:46:02,087 --> 00:46:03,600
We're married!.
618
00:46:03,687 --> 00:46:06,042
And as for you, kewpie doll--
619
00:46:08,807 --> 00:46:11,446
You protected me.
You must really like me.
620
00:46:17,327 --> 00:46:19,795
"l know, l know
621
00:46:19,967 --> 00:46:21,878
"You belong
622
00:46:22,367 --> 00:46:26,360
"To somebody new
623
00:46:27,367 --> 00:46:29,801
"But tonight
624
00:46:30,087 --> 00:46:34,000
"You belong to me
625
00:46:37,807 --> 00:46:40,162
"Although, although
626
00:46:40,247 --> 00:46:42,681
"We're apart
627
00:46:42,807 --> 00:46:44,957
"You're part
628
00:46:45,167 --> 00:46:47,635
"Of my heart
629
00:46:47,847 --> 00:46:50,122
"And tonight
630
00:46:50,327 --> 00:46:54,366
"You belong to me
631
00:46:58,167 --> 00:47:00,317
"Way down
632
00:47:00,647 --> 00:47:02,763
"By the stream
633
00:47:03,127 --> 00:47:05,163
"How sweet
634
00:47:05,727 --> 00:47:07,763
"lt would seem
635
00:47:08,247 --> 00:47:10,078
"Once more
636
00:47:10,247 --> 00:47:12,807
"Just to dream
637
00:47:13,127 --> 00:47:16,085
"ln the moonlight
638
00:47:17,167 --> 00:47:21,001
"My honey, l know, l know
639
00:47:21,087 --> 00:47:23,282
"With the dawn
640
00:47:23,447 --> 00:47:25,244
"That you
641
00:47:25,927 --> 00:47:28,361
"Will be gone
642
00:47:28,567 --> 00:47:30,603
"But tonight
643
00:47:31,167 --> 00:47:33,237
"You belong
644
00:47:33,887 --> 00:47:37,675
"To me, just to little old me"
645
00:48:07,887 --> 00:48:09,445
You know...
646
00:48:10,327 --> 00:48:12,761
...while you were playing that just now...
647
00:48:13,847 --> 00:48:16,759
...l had the craziest fantasy that l could...
648
00:48:17,607 --> 00:48:18,926
...rise up...
649
00:48:19,407 --> 00:48:23,116
...float right down the end of this cornet...
650
00:48:23,647 --> 00:48:25,558
...right through here...
651
00:48:25,687 --> 00:48:27,757
...through these valves...
652
00:48:27,887 --> 00:48:30,242
...right along this tube...
653
00:48:30,647 --> 00:48:32,956
...come right up against your lips...
654
00:48:33,807 --> 00:48:35,718
...and give you a kiss.
655
00:48:38,327 --> 00:48:39,919
Why didn't you?
656
00:48:40,447 --> 00:48:42,597
I didn't want to get spit on me.
657
00:49:33,087 --> 00:49:35,157
Was it good for you, too?
658
00:49:38,687 --> 00:49:40,917
I really do want to kiss you...
659
00:49:42,887 --> 00:49:44,525
...but l'm afraid.
660
00:49:45,127 --> 00:49:48,164
-I would have kept my tongue in.
-No, l mean...
661
00:49:50,687 --> 00:49:52,996
...l'm afraid if l kiss you...
662
00:49:54,847 --> 00:49:56,803
...l'll fall in love with you.
663
00:49:57,767 --> 00:49:59,166
You will?
664
00:49:59,767 --> 00:50:01,678
And l don't want to.
665
00:50:02,967 --> 00:50:04,446
You don't?
666
00:50:05,767 --> 00:50:09,919
My mother sacrificed everything
to send me through cosmetology school.
667
00:50:10,167 --> 00:50:11,566
She did?
668
00:50:12,807 --> 00:50:15,640
She has this dream
for me to be something.
669
00:50:16,247 --> 00:50:17,646
She does?
670
00:50:18,727 --> 00:50:21,878
To marry someone with power...
671
00:50:22,687 --> 00:50:24,803
...money, vision.
672
00:50:26,127 --> 00:50:28,595
Someone with a special purpose.
673
00:50:31,767 --> 00:50:33,439
I've got one!.
674
00:50:34,007 --> 00:50:37,238
-I've got a special purpose!.
-You do?
675
00:50:37,327 --> 00:50:39,283
Yes!. It's fantastic!.
676
00:50:39,367 --> 00:50:42,439
It's great!. It's unbelievable!.
677
00:50:42,607 --> 00:50:46,520
And l was afraid to tell you about it.
Your mother's gonna love me!.
678
00:50:49,207 --> 00:50:51,437
Marie, are you awake?
679
00:50:53,407 --> 00:50:54,522
Good.
680
00:50:56,367 --> 00:50:58,483
You look so beautiful and peaceful...
681
00:50:58,727 --> 00:51:00,365
...you almost look dead.
682
00:51:03,247 --> 00:51:04,726
I'm glad because...
683
00:51:05,007 --> 00:51:08,841
...there's something l want to say that's
always been difficult for me to say.
684
00:51:10,767 --> 00:51:14,203
I slit the sheet, the sheet l slit
and on the slitted sheet l sit.
685
00:51:16,767 --> 00:51:20,362
I've never been relaxed enough
around anyone to be able to say that.
686
00:51:21,327 --> 00:51:23,557
You give me confidence in myself.
687
00:51:24,967 --> 00:51:28,801
I know we've only known each other
for four weeks and three days...
688
00:51:29,167 --> 00:51:33,080
...but to me, it seems like
nine weeks and five days.
689
00:51:34,847 --> 00:51:37,441
The first day seemed like a week.
690
00:51:38,087 --> 00:51:41,477
And the second day seemed like five days.
691
00:51:41,847 --> 00:51:44,361
And the third day
seemed like a week again.
692
00:51:44,687 --> 00:51:47,918
And the fourth day seemed like eight days.
693
00:51:48,407 --> 00:51:51,558
But the fifth day
you went to see your mother...
694
00:51:51,847 --> 00:51:54,202
...and that seemed just like a day.
695
00:51:54,567 --> 00:51:57,604
But then you came back, and later...
696
00:51:58,127 --> 00:52:01,119
...on the sixth day, in the evening,
when we saw each other...
697
00:52:01,247 --> 00:52:04,922
...that started seeming like two days.
698
00:52:05,407 --> 00:52:08,877
So in the evening, it seemed
like two days spilling into the next day...
699
00:52:08,967 --> 00:52:13,438
...and that started seeming like four days.
So, at the end of the sixth day...
700
00:52:13,527 --> 00:52:17,202
...on into the seventh day,
it seemed like a total of five days.
701
00:52:17,927 --> 00:52:23,047
And the sixth day seemed like
a week and a half.
702
00:52:24,607 --> 00:52:29,044
I have it written down, but l can show it
to you tomorrow if you want to see it.
703
00:52:29,727 --> 00:52:33,561
Anyway, l've decided that tomorrow...
704
00:52:34,287 --> 00:52:39,156
...when the time is right,
l'm going to ask you to marry me.
705
00:52:41,287 --> 00:52:45,075
If that's okay with you,
just don't say anything.
706
00:52:49,647 --> 00:52:51,638
You've made me very happy.
707
00:52:58,887 --> 00:53:03,836
"Oh, l'll see you again
708
00:53:04,047 --> 00:53:08,598
"Whenever spring breaks through again"
709
00:53:09,047 --> 00:53:10,480
Honey, sing!.
710
00:53:12,767 --> 00:53:15,839
"Time may lie heavy between
711
00:53:16,167 --> 00:53:18,123
"But what has been
712
00:53:18,207 --> 00:53:21,677
"ls past forgetting
713
00:53:22,167 --> 00:53:26,206
"This sweet memory
714
00:53:26,287 --> 00:53:31,805
"Across the years will come to me
715
00:53:32,527 --> 00:53:36,600
"Though my world may go awry
716
00:53:37,327 --> 00:53:41,878
"ln my heart will ever lie
717
00:53:42,727 --> 00:53:47,198
"Just the echo of a sigh
718
00:53:50,847 --> 00:53:52,360
"Good-bye"
719
00:53:53,207 --> 00:53:56,836
Honey, who's the happiest guy
in the world?
720
00:53:58,007 --> 00:53:59,042
You are!.
721
00:53:59,647 --> 00:54:03,606
That's right!. And who's the happiest gal?
722
00:54:05,847 --> 00:54:07,565
That's right.
723
00:54:07,647 --> 00:54:11,117
Honey, guess what?
l wrote a song for you this morning:
724
00:54:11,247 --> 00:54:15,638
"Oh, l'm picking out a thermos for you
725
00:54:15,727 --> 00:54:19,322
"Not an ordinary thermos for you
726
00:54:19,527 --> 00:54:23,156
"But the extra best thermos you can buy
727
00:54:23,287 --> 00:54:26,677
"With vinyl and stripes
and a cup built right in
728
00:54:26,767 --> 00:54:30,555
"l'm picking out a thermos for you
729
00:54:30,647 --> 00:54:33,798
"And maybe a barometer too
730
00:54:33,887 --> 00:54:37,675
"And what else can l buy
so on me you'll rely
731
00:54:37,767 --> 00:54:40,327
"A rear-end thermometer too"
732
00:54:40,407 --> 00:54:44,320
Honey!. There's a question
l've been wanting to pop but...
733
00:54:44,447 --> 00:54:46,563
...l've been afraid you'd say no.
734
00:54:46,887 --> 00:54:51,165
But this seems like
the right time and place, so here goes.
735
00:54:52,167 --> 00:54:54,920
Honey, will you marry me?
736
00:54:58,407 --> 00:55:02,878
Come on, let's seal it with a kiss!.
Get in the tub with me!.
737
00:55:03,967 --> 00:55:06,686
Not you, Shithead. Where's Marie?
738
00:55:07,847 --> 00:55:09,166
What letter?
739
00:55:16,727 --> 00:55:18,319
"Dear...."
740
00:55:34,567 --> 00:55:36,159
Marie!.
741
00:55:36,807 --> 00:55:40,083
Shithead!. Come here!. Good idea!.
742
00:55:42,047 --> 00:55:43,241
Why did you leave me?
743
00:55:43,327 --> 00:55:45,966
I couldn't read the letter!.
It was too blurry!.
744
00:55:48,527 --> 00:55:49,755
Here, boy.
745
00:55:56,087 --> 00:55:57,998
Where are you?
746
00:56:13,967 --> 00:56:16,003
This is not going to be easy, Shithead.
747
00:56:17,247 --> 00:56:19,317
We've been together a long time.
748
00:56:19,927 --> 00:56:22,316
But l've got to head down that road.
749
00:56:23,607 --> 00:56:27,600
There'll be times out there
when there won't be enough food for two.
750
00:56:27,887 --> 00:56:29,286
And l won't be able to--
751
00:56:29,927 --> 00:56:31,326
Wait a minute.
752
00:56:31,407 --> 00:56:32,760
I'm not done yet.
753
00:56:32,847 --> 00:56:34,758
Come back, l'm not finished.
754
00:56:34,847 --> 00:56:36,678
I have some more to tell ya.
755
00:56:39,247 --> 00:56:41,841
You'll find a family
who can give you a real home...
756
00:56:41,927 --> 00:56:44,964
...with loving kids and a warm fireplace.
757
00:56:45,367 --> 00:56:47,278
I never liked you, anyway.
758
00:56:47,447 --> 00:56:49,483
Now get out of here!.
759
00:56:50,207 --> 00:56:53,244
Okay, okay!. You win!.
You can go with me.
760
00:56:57,167 --> 00:57:00,477
"And so, Mom, with my faithful dog
leading the way...
761
00:57:00,887 --> 00:57:03,526
"...l'm out to win the hand ofMarie.
762
00:57:03,647 --> 00:57:08,641
"You'd love her, Mom. She looksjust
like you, except she's white and blonde.
763
00:57:09,127 --> 00:57:12,483
"So, to win her back,
l've vowed to make something of myself.
764
00:57:12,567 --> 00:57:16,958
"l settled in Los Angeles, took the money
l saved and rented my fiirst apartment.
765
00:57:17,607 --> 00:57:19,404
"l haven't heard from Marie.
766
00:57:20,367 --> 00:57:24,121
"Things couldn't be worse.
I can only send you 49 cents this week..."
767
00:57:24,207 --> 00:57:26,880
-Bless his heart.
-That's a good boy.
768
00:57:26,967 --> 00:57:29,527
"...as l've lost all my jobs.
769
00:57:29,967 --> 00:57:33,880
"l've been eating well. The hospital
gives out free orange juice and cookies...
770
00:57:33,967 --> 00:57:36,765
"...and all l have to do
is give them a pint of blood.
771
00:57:37,287 --> 00:57:40,563
"l ate there all week, three times a day."
772
00:57:40,687 --> 00:57:41,563
Pint of blood?
773
00:57:41,647 --> 00:57:46,198
"l quit when l cut myself shaving
and nothing came out but air.
774
00:57:47,647 --> 00:57:51,925
"l have to go now as someone
is staring at me through binoculars.
775
00:57:52,007 --> 00:57:53,838
"Your loving son, Navin."
776
00:57:57,207 --> 00:57:58,879
It's him.
777
00:58:05,567 --> 00:58:06,716
Him.
778
00:58:11,367 --> 00:58:14,882
What's him doing here?
Shithead!. Shithead!.
779
00:58:16,127 --> 00:58:18,083
Attack!. Attack!.
780
00:58:19,327 --> 00:58:21,079
Not me!.
781
00:58:22,567 --> 00:58:24,398
Get off, Shithead!.
782
00:59:20,567 --> 00:59:22,797
You're going to have to sign for this.
783
00:59:25,207 --> 00:59:27,402
I have to sign before you shoot me?
784
00:59:27,567 --> 00:59:29,558
I'm not gonna shoot ya!.
785
00:59:30,727 --> 00:59:33,241
-Why not?
-That was the old me.
786
00:59:33,327 --> 00:59:35,602
I was a little mixed up at that time.
787
00:59:35,727 --> 00:59:39,197
Had a bad marriage,
and l just gave up smoking.
788
00:59:39,447 --> 00:59:41,119
I'm okay now.
789
00:59:42,167 --> 00:59:44,044
I'm a private detective.
790
00:59:51,007 --> 00:59:53,316
-So long.
-Thank you.
791
01:00:01,127 --> 01:00:03,243
"Dear Mr. Johnson...
792
01:00:04,127 --> 01:00:06,436
"...please call on me, in Suite...
793
01:00:07,647 --> 01:00:11,242
"...2655 at the Century Plaza Tower...
794
01:00:11,727 --> 01:00:13,126
"...in Los Angeles.
795
01:00:14,127 --> 01:00:18,917
"l have something ofgreat importance
to impart to you."
796
01:00:19,687 --> 01:00:22,121
Navin!. Remember me?
797
01:00:23,127 --> 01:00:25,641
-No, but don't feel bad.
-Fox.
798
01:00:27,047 --> 01:00:28,685
Stan Fox!.
799
01:00:28,767 --> 01:00:30,883
Remember the gas station?
800
01:00:31,087 --> 01:00:35,285
Boy, you are one hard guy to find!.
801
01:00:38,047 --> 01:00:39,605
You don't remember me.
802
01:00:41,327 --> 01:00:43,557
The glasses handle!. Look!.
803
01:00:45,647 --> 01:00:46,921
Yeah.
804
01:00:47,407 --> 01:00:50,001
-My glasses handle.
-Use the Opti-Grab.
805
01:00:50,487 --> 01:00:53,285
-"Opti-Grab"?
-Yeah, we call it Opti-Grab.
806
01:00:53,367 --> 01:00:55,961
-Opti-Grab.
-"Opti," from the eye...
807
01:00:56,087 --> 01:00:58,681
...and "grab," from where you grab it!.
808
01:00:59,007 --> 01:01:00,804
Opti-grabbing it!.
809
01:01:00,887 --> 01:01:02,764
Navin, my boy, we're in business!.
810
01:01:03,007 --> 01:01:05,680
Fifty-fifty, just like we said.
811
01:01:05,847 --> 01:01:08,759
Right in here l have your first check...
812
01:01:09,207 --> 01:01:12,040
...for two hundred and fifty big ones.
813
01:01:12,607 --> 01:01:14,120
Two-fifty?
814
01:01:14,567 --> 01:01:17,525
That's just the beginning.
There's gonna be more. Lots more!.
815
01:01:17,887 --> 01:01:19,400
Can l cash this?
816
01:01:19,527 --> 01:01:23,486
You can do whatever you like.
It's your money. It's a cashier's check.
817
01:01:23,887 --> 01:01:25,286
I can use money!.
818
01:01:25,687 --> 01:01:30,556
Yes, l have a cashier's check,
and l'd like to cash it.
819
01:01:30,687 --> 01:01:32,405
How much is it for?
820
01:01:32,567 --> 01:01:36,765
Two hundred and fifty big ones.
821
01:01:40,767 --> 01:01:43,839
Two hundred and fifty dollareenies.
822
01:01:46,207 --> 01:01:49,836
That's two hundred and fifty doughnuts.
823
01:01:52,527 --> 01:01:54,085
You want to cash this?
824
01:01:54,287 --> 01:01:56,596
Well, l could take fifty of the doughnuts...
825
01:01:56,687 --> 01:01:59,599
...and deposit the other
two-hundred beauties.
826
01:01:59,727 --> 01:02:03,402
-Have a seat, Mr. Johnson.
-Thank you.
827
01:02:04,607 --> 01:02:06,757
I will need two pieces of identification.
828
01:02:06,847 --> 01:02:11,602
Yes. I have my
temporary driver's license...
829
01:02:12,807 --> 01:02:16,766
...and my astronaut application form.
830
01:02:17,927 --> 01:02:21,636
I didn't pass that, though.
I failed everything but the date of birth.
831
01:02:21,767 --> 01:02:23,325
Didn't get the job.
832
01:02:23,527 --> 01:02:27,918
Everything's in order.
If you'll just endorse this there.
833
01:02:28,527 --> 01:02:30,119
-I need a pen.
-Pen. Okay.
834
01:02:30,207 --> 01:02:32,198
-Right here.
-Thank you.
835
01:02:33,527 --> 01:02:36,644
Fill out this deposit slip right there.
836
01:02:37,207 --> 01:02:40,995
The endorsing and filling out
of the deposit slip.
837
01:02:41,287 --> 01:02:45,200
Two-hundred and fifty...
838
01:02:45,567 --> 01:02:47,478
...thousand--
839
01:02:58,927 --> 01:03:01,646
"Dear Harry, guess what?
840
01:03:01,767 --> 01:03:03,803
"l'm rich beyond my wildest dreams.
841
01:03:04,047 --> 01:03:07,676
"But l haven't forgotten our deal.
Here's that postcard l promised you.
842
01:03:07,767 --> 01:03:10,281
"l bet you thought you'd never get it.
843
01:03:10,447 --> 01:03:12,563
"Your friend forever, Navin."
844
01:03:12,807 --> 01:03:14,320
How do you like that?
845
01:03:14,647 --> 01:03:17,445
He promised me a postcard,
and he sent me a postcard.
846
01:03:18,167 --> 01:03:19,646
Kid has integrity.
847
01:03:37,087 --> 01:03:39,123
Shithead, come on.
848
01:03:53,127 --> 01:03:55,721
Hello? Yes?
849
01:03:56,367 --> 01:03:59,086
Who? Mrs. Kimball?
850
01:04:00,807 --> 01:04:02,445
You're Marie's mom!.
851
01:04:03,247 --> 01:04:05,283
You read about me in the paper?
852
01:04:05,367 --> 01:04:07,961
I've been trying to reach her,
l don't know where she is.
853
01:04:08,047 --> 01:04:10,083
I'd give anything to find out.
854
01:04:11,087 --> 01:04:12,884
Well, that sounds a little high.
855
01:04:13,287 --> 01:04:15,039
How about $75?
856
01:04:16,007 --> 01:04:18,567
Okay, what is it?
857
01:04:19,047 --> 01:04:21,481
The May Company in Los Angeles.
858
01:04:21,567 --> 01:04:24,718
Shithead!. I know where she is!.
I know where she is!.
859
01:04:24,927 --> 01:04:26,997
Now, doesn't that feel good?
860
01:04:30,007 --> 01:04:32,362
There now, we are complete.
861
01:04:34,487 --> 01:04:36,876
Putting on Mask-O-Derm
just took a few minutes...
862
01:04:36,967 --> 01:04:39,527
...and when we peel it off
he'll look 20 years younger.
863
01:04:39,607 --> 01:04:41,040
Alevai.
864
01:04:41,127 --> 01:04:42,765
Yes, exactly.
865
01:04:42,847 --> 01:04:48,046
Now, we'll let this dry. In the meantime,
we can pick out an eye shadow and lip tint.
866
01:04:48,127 --> 01:04:50,083
Everyone follow me this way...
867
01:04:50,167 --> 01:04:53,682
...because this is a very interesting line.
I think you'll enjoy this.
868
01:04:53,767 --> 01:04:58,283
With your husband's coloring,
a deep tone would bring out his lips.
869
01:04:58,367 --> 01:05:02,519
This Nature Beige
will feature his eyes just wonderfully.
870
01:05:02,607 --> 01:05:04,438
Let's try everything.
871
01:05:07,327 --> 01:05:08,555
What?
872
01:05:10,367 --> 01:05:14,280
Let's go unmask lrving.
Everyone, back this way.
873
01:05:14,527 --> 01:05:17,678
We are now going to peel off
our Mask-O-Derm.
874
01:05:17,767 --> 01:05:22,045
Irving's skin will be tighter, firmer
and he'll look like a different man.
875
01:05:22,127 --> 01:05:23,924
You'll be amazed.
876
01:05:24,367 --> 01:05:26,323
Get ready, lrving!.
877
01:05:40,247 --> 01:05:43,159
This shit really worked.
878
01:05:49,727 --> 01:05:51,683
My sweetheart.
879
01:05:52,167 --> 01:05:55,000
What are you doing to my husband,
you Miss Blondie?
880
01:05:55,087 --> 01:05:57,317
Irving, are you crazy?
881
01:05:57,407 --> 01:06:00,558
"Dear Mom, the big news is:
Marie and l were married.
882
01:06:00,647 --> 01:06:02,080
"We couldn't wait.
883
01:06:02,167 --> 01:06:07,366
"We found someone at the Hollywood View
Apartments who could do it immediately.
884
01:06:07,447 --> 01:06:09,563
"He was a certifiiedpriest.
885
01:06:12,167 --> 01:06:14,522
"We were both glad
we had a religious wedding.
886
01:06:15,047 --> 01:06:17,402
"Money hasn't changed our lives
that much.
887
01:06:17,687 --> 01:06:21,236
"Our one little extravagance
is a live-in butler and housekeeper."
888
01:06:21,367 --> 01:06:25,280
-Another check!.
-Just as l thought.
889
01:06:25,367 --> 01:06:28,564
Look at that. Nearly $750,000.
890
01:06:28,687 --> 01:06:33,078
With this kind of income, you could buy
a larger house with servants' quarters.
891
01:06:33,407 --> 01:06:37,320
"Well, Mom, remember my dream
of owning a big house on a hill...
892
01:06:37,447 --> 01:06:42,202
"...and how l used to wish for a living room
with a plaster lion in it from Mexico?
893
01:06:42,287 --> 01:06:45,836
"And how l always wanted
a large 24-seat dining table...
894
01:06:45,927 --> 01:06:51,160
"...in a dining room with original paintings
by Michelangelo and Rembrandt?
895
01:06:51,487 --> 01:06:53,921
"And remember how l always wanted
a rotating bed...
896
01:06:54,007 --> 01:06:56,919
"...with pink chiffon and zebra stripes?
897
01:06:57,007 --> 01:06:59,680
"And remember how l used to chitchat
with dad about...
898
01:06:59,807 --> 01:07:02,879
"...always wanting a bathtub
shaped like a clam...
899
01:07:03,007 --> 01:07:05,760
"...and an offiice
with orange and white stripes?
900
01:07:05,847 --> 01:07:10,523
"Remember how much l wanted an all red
billiard room with a giant stuffed camel...
901
01:07:10,687 --> 01:07:14,362
"...and how l wanted a disco room
with my own disco dancers...
902
01:07:14,447 --> 01:07:17,245
"...and a party room with fancy friends?
903
01:07:17,887 --> 01:07:21,436
"And remember how much l wanted
a big backyard with Grecian statues...
904
01:07:21,527 --> 01:07:24,121
"...S-shaped hedges,
and three swimming pools?
905
01:07:24,207 --> 01:07:26,198
"Well, l got that too.
906
01:07:28,607 --> 01:07:30,996
"Marie and l are getting along swell...
907
01:07:31,327 --> 01:07:34,876
"...but l've got a lot to learn
about handling my money and banks.
908
01:07:35,207 --> 01:07:36,925
"You have to be careful.
909
01:07:38,567 --> 01:07:40,205
"Poor Hobart.
910
01:07:40,367 --> 01:07:43,325
"His dear wife Hester took money
out of her savings account...
911
01:07:43,407 --> 01:07:46,604
"...and had to pay a substantial penalty
for early withdrawal.
912
01:07:51,127 --> 01:07:54,278
"Enclosed is this week's check.
Love, Navin."
913
01:07:55,047 --> 01:07:57,083
Sorry about your wife, Hobart.
914
01:07:57,167 --> 01:07:59,362
Federal regulations, sir.
915
01:08:00,007 --> 01:08:01,281
Dear me.
916
01:08:01,527 --> 01:08:05,600
Your wife has given you
another gold chain.
917
01:08:06,447 --> 01:08:08,165
I'd nearly forgotten.
918
01:08:08,527 --> 01:08:11,917
I suppose l'm still not quite
over Hester's death.
919
01:08:12,007 --> 01:08:13,838
Well, these things take time.
920
01:08:13,927 --> 01:08:15,963
Yes, so l'm told.
921
01:08:16,047 --> 01:08:19,835
Here's your drink, sir.
Like the one you saw in the magazine.
922
01:08:19,927 --> 01:08:22,316
You got the bamboo umbrella
and everything.
923
01:08:25,607 --> 01:08:28,679
See that? "Be somebody."
924
01:08:31,327 --> 01:08:33,761
Very good, sir. Very good.
925
01:08:36,407 --> 01:08:39,080
There are some charity people here
to see you, sir.
926
01:08:39,167 --> 01:08:41,806
No!. Send them away!.
927
01:08:41,887 --> 01:08:44,276
There's a lot of people
more deserving than me!.
928
01:08:44,367 --> 01:08:47,200
But these people want you to give.
929
01:08:51,767 --> 01:08:52,802
Okay.
930
01:08:52,927 --> 01:08:56,317
My name is
Father Carlos Las Vegas De Cordoba.
931
01:08:56,967 --> 01:08:59,401
Father, you seem like a religious man.
932
01:08:59,887 --> 01:09:01,240
How can l help you?
933
01:09:01,327 --> 01:09:05,002
By giving me three minutes of your time
so that you can see some film...
934
01:09:05,087 --> 01:09:08,477
...of a great ugliness
that is spreading in my country.
935
01:09:09,367 --> 01:09:12,086
God. I'll bet it's disgusting.
936
01:09:12,967 --> 01:09:14,798
-Hobart?
-Yes, sir?
937
01:09:14,887 --> 01:09:17,242
Are you over your grief enough
to dim the lights?
938
01:09:17,327 --> 01:09:20,876
Of course, sir. One can't mourn forever.
939
01:09:21,087 --> 01:09:23,999
You will not believe
what you are about to see...
940
01:09:24,567 --> 01:09:27,161
...that human beings
could have sunk so low...
941
01:09:27,247 --> 01:09:31,035
...that they can take pleasure to do this
to another of God's creatures.
942
01:09:31,167 --> 01:09:33,601
I hope you have a strong stomach, senor.
943
01:09:33,767 --> 01:09:35,166
Roll the ugliness.
944
01:10:12,727 --> 01:10:16,800
Good Lord. I've heard about this.
Cat juggling.
945
01:10:35,647 --> 01:10:38,605
Stop it, stop it, stop it!.
946
01:10:39,527 --> 01:10:40,642
Good.
947
01:10:41,567 --> 01:10:45,765
Father, could there be a God
that would let this happen?
948
01:10:46,847 --> 01:10:48,644
How much do you want?
949
01:10:48,807 --> 01:10:52,402
If your initial investment is $500,000...
950
01:10:52,567 --> 01:10:55,161
...and your apartments are up in March...
951
01:10:55,287 --> 01:10:59,439
...you should have "x" amount of dollars
rolling in by the end of this year.
952
01:10:59,967 --> 01:11:02,527
"x" amount. That's very good, isn't it?
953
01:11:02,607 --> 01:11:05,838
You can depreciate the entire building
for the full amount.
954
01:11:05,967 --> 01:11:08,686
Depreciate!. Very good. I like that.
955
01:11:08,767 --> 01:11:11,645
And we've found a way to get around
this fair housing crap.
956
01:11:11,887 --> 01:11:14,526
Good!. Getting around the crap.
That's good.
957
01:11:15,327 --> 01:11:18,717
By keeping the rents high,
we'll appeal to a select class of people.
958
01:11:18,807 --> 01:11:20,684
Select class. Very good.
959
01:11:21,967 --> 01:11:23,764
We'll keep the eggplants out.
960
01:11:23,847 --> 01:11:26,236
Good. We don't want any vegetables.
961
01:11:26,327 --> 01:11:28,397
No. The jungle bunnies!.
962
01:11:28,607 --> 01:11:30,962
Of course. They'll eat the vegetables.
963
01:11:31,527 --> 01:11:33,722
Boss, could l talk to him?
964
01:11:34,287 --> 01:11:36,357
We're gonna keep out the niggers.
965
01:11:37,007 --> 01:11:37,996
The what?
966
01:11:38,087 --> 01:11:40,157
The niggers. We'll keep 'em out.
967
01:11:40,727 --> 01:11:41,955
-Yes.
-Sir...
968
01:11:42,687 --> 01:11:45,076
...you are talking to a nigger!.
969
01:12:30,447 --> 01:12:32,517
Don't be so hard on yourself.
970
01:12:32,607 --> 01:12:35,519
How could you know
that was "lron Balls" McGinty?
971
01:12:36,287 --> 01:12:38,084
Escargot. Salad.
972
01:12:39,447 --> 01:12:42,359
Would Monsieur care for another bottle
of the Chвteau Latour.
973
01:12:42,447 --> 01:12:44,677
Yes, but no more 1966.
974
01:12:44,767 --> 01:12:47,645
Let's splurge. Bring us some fresh wine.
975
01:12:47,727 --> 01:12:49,126
The freshest you've got.
976
01:12:49,207 --> 01:12:51,641
This year's. No more of this old stuff.
977
01:12:52,807 --> 01:12:54,206
Oui, Monsieur.
978
01:12:54,687 --> 01:12:58,123
He doesn't realize he's dealing
with sophisticated people here.
979
01:12:58,647 --> 01:13:00,285
Marie, just stay calm.
980
01:13:00,687 --> 01:13:01,836
Don't look down.
981
01:13:01,927 --> 01:13:05,636
Don't look down. Look up.
Keep your eyes up and keep 'em that way.
982
01:13:05,807 --> 01:13:06,762
Waiter.
983
01:13:09,207 --> 01:13:11,675
There are snails on her plate.
984
01:13:14,127 --> 01:13:16,721
Now get them out of here
before she sees them!.
985
01:13:16,967 --> 01:13:19,037
Look away!. Keep your eyes that way!.
986
01:13:19,767 --> 01:13:23,806
You'd think at a fancy restaurant like this
you'd be able to keep the snails...
987
01:13:23,887 --> 01:13:25,605
...off the food!.
988
01:13:25,687 --> 01:13:28,520
There are so many snails in there
you can't see the food.
989
01:13:28,607 --> 01:13:32,236
Remove them!. Bring me the cheese
sandwich appetizers you talked me out of.
990
01:13:32,327 --> 01:13:33,760
Oui, Monsieur.
991
01:13:34,967 --> 01:13:36,320
Can you believe this?
992
01:13:36,407 --> 01:13:40,116
First they didn't have umbrellas
for the wine, now snails on the food.
993
01:13:40,207 --> 01:13:42,960
Two boobs. That's what he takes us for.
994
01:13:54,207 --> 01:13:56,323
-Hi, honey.
-Hi, doll face.
995
01:13:56,407 --> 01:13:57,635
Everything okay?
996
01:13:57,767 --> 01:14:01,646
Remember how you told me
to take unnecessary lessons?
997
01:14:01,807 --> 01:14:03,843
Well, l just took a lesson.
998
01:14:04,007 --> 01:14:06,475
And a very good student too.
Adios, senora.
999
01:14:07,207 --> 01:14:08,925
You took bullfighting?
1000
01:14:09,007 --> 01:14:11,077
No. Knife-throwing.
1001
01:14:12,367 --> 01:14:13,846
Knife-throwing's great!.
1002
01:14:13,927 --> 01:14:17,203
-I can almost do it.
-Well, let me see your stuff!.
1003
01:14:17,367 --> 01:14:18,561
Okay.
1004
01:14:19,767 --> 01:14:21,962
This is very good for a beginner.
1005
01:14:24,167 --> 01:14:26,522
This is exciting. I love this!.
1006
01:14:27,207 --> 01:14:28,560
Come on!.
1007
01:14:29,807 --> 01:14:31,877
-Turn sideways...
-Okay.
1008
01:14:32,127 --> 01:14:34,243
...and put a balloon in your mouth.
1009
01:14:34,847 --> 01:14:36,405
Do you have a balloon?
1010
01:14:37,127 --> 01:14:39,800
No. Wait. Yes!.
1011
01:14:41,247 --> 01:14:42,123
Okay.
1012
01:14:43,247 --> 01:14:44,726
Is it in your mouth?
1013
01:14:44,847 --> 01:14:47,600
Throw 'em good and hard, so they'll stick.
1014
01:14:48,847 --> 01:14:50,041
Okay.
1015
01:14:53,207 --> 01:14:54,322
One...
1016
01:14:55,127 --> 01:14:56,401
...two...
1017
01:14:57,567 --> 01:14:58,682
...three!.
1018
01:14:59,567 --> 01:15:00,841
Four, five, six!.
1019
01:15:05,487 --> 01:15:06,840
I missed.
1020
01:15:07,127 --> 01:15:08,719
Honey, you did good.
1021
01:15:09,287 --> 01:15:11,517
I can't do anything right.
1022
01:15:12,367 --> 01:15:15,006
Honey, you worry too much.
1023
01:15:16,167 --> 01:15:19,762
Come on. Let's flop this over
and look at it another way.
1024
01:15:19,847 --> 01:15:22,680
Do you realize that
in the past two short months...
1025
01:15:22,767 --> 01:15:28,000
...we have acquired the sophistication
it takes some people a lifetime to acquire?
1026
01:15:28,287 --> 01:15:29,720
Come on!.
1027
01:15:30,167 --> 01:15:31,680
Let's toast!.
1028
01:16:26,887 --> 01:16:30,402
Everybody, Navin's on TV.
Marie, it's Navin!.
1029
01:16:30,647 --> 01:16:33,400
Look, honey,
here's that interview you did on TV.
1030
01:16:33,687 --> 01:16:35,245
Shut off the music!.
1031
01:16:36,407 --> 01:16:39,046
Everyone, we're going to watch Navin
on the TV.
1032
01:16:39,127 --> 01:16:42,324
Sit down, sit down.
On the floor. Sit around.
1033
01:16:42,807 --> 01:16:45,526
American Time news magazine
turns its probing eye...
1034
01:16:45,607 --> 01:16:48,565
...on Navin Johnson,
the inventor ofthe Opti-Grab...
1035
01:16:48,807 --> 01:16:53,119
...that little glasses handle that sold
10 million units in a few short months.
1036
01:16:53,927 --> 01:16:58,000
Mr. Johnson, you've become
a millionaire overnight. Who are you?
1037
01:16:59,687 --> 01:17:01,678
Who is Navin Johnson?
1038
01:17:02,727 --> 01:17:05,924
Navin is a complex personality,
as are most ofthe...
1039
01:17:06,007 --> 01:17:09,522
...small breed of modern-day
renaissance millionaires.
1040
01:17:10,127 --> 01:17:13,278
We hadplanned to show you
the entire Johnson interview.
1041
01:17:13,447 --> 01:17:17,076
However, when we returned to our studio,
our news department informed us...
1042
01:17:17,167 --> 01:17:20,398
...ofa sensational development
in the Johnson story.
1043
01:17:20,647 --> 01:17:23,002
It seems that an irate group of citizens...
1044
01:17:23,087 --> 01:17:25,760
...led by the celebrity, Mr. Carl Reiner...
1045
01:17:25,847 --> 01:17:29,840
...has fiiled a class action suit
against Mr. Johnson and his Opti-Grab.
1046
01:17:30,247 --> 01:17:33,239
Here's what Mr. Reiner had to say
at a press conference:
1047
01:17:33,327 --> 01:17:36,524
When Opti-Grab came out
l thought it was the greatest thing ever.
1048
01:17:36,607 --> 01:17:40,077
And l bought a pair. And this is the result.
1049
01:17:41,527 --> 01:17:45,236
This little handle is like a magnet.
Your eyes are drawn to it...
1050
01:17:45,447 --> 01:17:47,403
...and you end up cockeyed.
1051
01:17:47,847 --> 01:17:50,998
Now, as a director,
l am constantly using my eyes...
1052
01:17:51,127 --> 01:17:55,166
...and this Opti-Grab device
has caused irreparable harm to my career.
1053
01:17:55,287 --> 01:17:57,562
Let me show you a clip
from my latest fiilm...
1054
01:17:57,647 --> 01:18:02,084
...where my faulty depth perception kept
me from yelling "cut" at the right time.
1055
01:18:05,327 --> 01:18:06,237
Cut!
1056
01:18:14,727 --> 01:18:19,164
Ifl had yelled "cut" on time,
those actors would be alive today.
1057
01:18:19,887 --> 01:18:24,119
That's why l am spearheading the
$10 million class action suit...
1058
01:18:24,207 --> 01:18:27,882
...against Mr. Johnson,
and his irresponsible selling ofa product...
1059
01:18:27,967 --> 01:18:30,481
...he didn't even test on prisoners!
1060
01:18:31,407 --> 01:18:33,841
-Thank you.
-Party's over!.
1061
01:18:36,807 --> 01:18:38,798
Wait a second. Where you going?
1062
01:18:39,927 --> 01:18:42,521
I'm gonna get in touch
with that Reiner guy.
1063
01:18:43,727 --> 01:18:45,843
I got some change upstairs.
1064
01:18:45,927 --> 01:18:48,805
We'll get some potato chips
and there's some beer up there.
1065
01:18:48,887 --> 01:18:50,957
We'll make it a less formal thing.
1066
01:18:52,527 --> 01:18:54,518
Let's find another party.
1067
01:18:57,407 --> 01:19:00,365
Honey!. Why the gloom?
1068
01:19:00,527 --> 01:19:02,643
This is not the end of the rainbow.
1069
01:19:04,087 --> 01:19:06,157
I'm Navin Johnson, inventor!.
1070
01:19:06,287 --> 01:19:09,199
This is no big deal.
This is a parking ticket to me.
1071
01:19:09,567 --> 01:19:12,286
Only instead of $5, it's $10 million.
1072
01:19:13,607 --> 01:19:16,565
I don't care about losing all the money.
1073
01:19:16,887 --> 01:19:19,447
It's losing all the stuff.
1074
01:19:20,607 --> 01:19:22,723
We're not gonna lose the stuff.
1075
01:19:24,047 --> 01:19:25,765
This is America!.
1076
01:19:25,847 --> 01:19:29,601
We're going to receive a fair trial
from an impartial jury!.
1077
01:19:31,047 --> 01:19:34,323
Your honor, we, the jury,
find for the plaintiff.
1078
01:19:39,487 --> 01:19:42,047
I award to Mr. Reiner...
1079
01:19:42,607 --> 01:19:44,484
...and the other 9 million...
1080
01:19:44,687 --> 01:19:47,281
...987 thousand...
1081
01:19:47,367 --> 01:19:49,756
...652 plaintiffs...
1082
01:19:50,367 --> 01:19:52,358
...the full amount of the suit.
1083
01:19:54,247 --> 01:19:55,999
Court is adjourned.
1084
01:20:02,047 --> 01:20:04,880
-Navin.
-Honey, can't you see l'm drinking?
1085
01:20:11,767 --> 01:20:13,997
Pay to the order of...
1086
01:20:14,927 --> 01:20:17,122
...Mrs. Wilbur Stark...
1087
01:20:18,447 --> 01:20:20,836
...one dollar and nine cents.
1088
01:20:36,727 --> 01:20:38,524
Pay to the order of...
1089
01:20:39,607 --> 01:20:42,360
..."lron Balls" McGinty...
1090
01:20:43,767 --> 01:20:46,156
...one dollar and nine cents.
1091
01:20:48,047 --> 01:20:51,244
Why are you crying?
And why are you wearing that old dress?
1092
01:20:51,367 --> 01:20:55,519
Because l just heard a song on the radio
that reminded me of the way we were.
1093
01:20:55,807 --> 01:20:58,446
-What was it?
-The Way We Were.
1094
01:20:59,007 --> 01:21:01,521
Look at us. We've hit bottom.
1095
01:21:01,607 --> 01:21:05,566
No!. Maybe you've hit bottom,
but l haven't hit bottom yet!.
1096
01:21:05,967 --> 01:21:07,366
I got a ways to go!.
1097
01:21:08,647 --> 01:21:11,559
I'm gonna bounce back, and when l do...
1098
01:21:12,007 --> 01:21:15,283
...l'm gonna buy you a diamond so big...
1099
01:21:15,367 --> 01:21:17,642
...it's gonna make you puke!.
1100
01:21:18,287 --> 01:21:22,075
I don't want to puke!. I don't want wealth!.
1101
01:21:22,487 --> 01:21:25,524
I just want you like you used to be.
1102
01:21:25,767 --> 01:21:27,644
What happened to that man?
1103
01:21:27,887 --> 01:21:29,081
Me?
1104
01:21:29,607 --> 01:21:32,041
What happened to the girl l believed in?
1105
01:21:32,687 --> 01:21:34,564
The girl l fell in love with?
1106
01:21:34,647 --> 01:21:36,524
The girl that believed in me?
1107
01:21:38,167 --> 01:21:40,397
There's plenty of places l can go...
1108
01:21:40,527 --> 01:21:42,199
...where people believe in me.
1109
01:21:42,287 --> 01:21:45,199
So go. The sooner you're out of my life...
1110
01:21:45,287 --> 01:21:49,200
...the sooner l can go back to being the girl
in this little flowered dress...
1111
01:21:49,287 --> 01:21:53,280
...that you sang the "Thermos Song" to.
1112
01:21:53,727 --> 01:21:55,843
Well, l'm gonna go, then.
1113
01:21:56,487 --> 01:22:00,082
I don't need any of this!.
I don't need this stuff!.
1114
01:22:00,167 --> 01:22:03,159
And l don't need you!.
I don't need anything!.
1115
01:22:04,327 --> 01:22:05,760
Except this.
1116
01:22:06,127 --> 01:22:09,199
This ashtray.
That's the only thing l need is this!.
1117
01:22:10,727 --> 01:22:12,445
I don't need this or this!.
1118
01:22:12,607 --> 01:22:14,199
Just this ashtray!.
1119
01:22:15,527 --> 01:22:17,324
And this paddle game.
1120
01:22:18,287 --> 01:22:21,279
The ashtray and the paddle game
and that's all l need.
1121
01:22:21,607 --> 01:22:24,485
And this remote control.
1122
01:22:24,807 --> 01:22:28,686
The ashtray, the paddle game
and the remote control. That's all l need.
1123
01:22:30,767 --> 01:22:32,598
And these matches.
1124
01:22:33,607 --> 01:22:38,397
The ashtray, these matches
the remote control and the paddle ball.
1125
01:22:40,487 --> 01:22:41,761
And this lamp.
1126
01:22:43,807 --> 01:22:45,035
The ashtray...
1127
01:22:46,207 --> 01:22:49,802
...this paddle game, the remote control...
1128
01:22:51,047 --> 01:22:53,356
...and the lamp, and that's all l need.
1129
01:22:56,007 --> 01:22:57,838
And that's all l need, too!.
1130
01:22:58,687 --> 01:23:00,996
I don't need one other thing!.
1131
01:23:01,367 --> 01:23:03,278
Not one. I need this.
1132
01:23:05,287 --> 01:23:07,323
The paddle game, the chair...
1133
01:23:07,727 --> 01:23:11,686
...the remote control
and the matches, for sure.
1134
01:23:13,447 --> 01:23:15,483
What are you looking at?
1135
01:23:16,367 --> 01:23:19,962
What do you think l am,
some kind of a jerk or something?
1136
01:23:26,167 --> 01:23:27,156
And this.
1137
01:23:29,207 --> 01:23:30,799
That's all l need.
1138
01:23:31,687 --> 01:23:36,442
Except the ashtray,
the remote control, the paddle game...
1139
01:23:36,527 --> 01:23:39,166
...this magazine and the chair.
1140
01:23:45,207 --> 01:23:48,916
I don't need one other thing.
Except my dog.
1141
01:23:51,847 --> 01:23:53,644
Well, l don't need my dog.
1142
01:24:59,287 --> 01:25:01,323
So, that's it.
1143
01:25:02,447 --> 01:25:06,360
It's an old story,
one you've probably heard before.
1144
01:25:08,727 --> 01:25:11,161
But l never thought it would happen to me.
1145
01:25:24,447 --> 01:25:27,564
Any of you bums
ever heard of Navin R. Johnson?
1146
01:25:30,007 --> 01:25:31,406
I've heard of him.
1147
01:25:31,607 --> 01:25:33,086
Born in Mississippi?
1148
01:25:35,167 --> 01:25:37,078
The inventor of the Opti-Grab?
1149
01:25:37,327 --> 01:25:39,636
I was just telling these guys!.
1150
01:25:41,327 --> 01:25:42,646
Son!.
1151
01:25:44,007 --> 01:25:45,201
Daddy!.
1152
01:25:46,887 --> 01:25:47,797
Navin.
1153
01:25:48,007 --> 01:25:49,520
-Mama!.
-My baby!.
1154
01:25:51,607 --> 01:25:53,802
I knew we'd find you!.
1155
01:25:55,487 --> 01:25:57,239
-Taj!.
-Don't kiss me!.
1156
01:26:02,807 --> 01:26:04,877
I called them the night you left.
1157
01:26:05,567 --> 01:26:06,920
How'd you find me?
1158
01:26:07,007 --> 01:26:09,396
I don't know.
This is the first place we looked.
1159
01:26:09,487 --> 01:26:11,876
We're taking you home
and you're living with us.
1160
01:26:11,967 --> 01:26:14,242
Turns out dad's a financial genius.
1161
01:26:14,367 --> 01:26:17,325
All l did was take the money
you sent home...
1162
01:26:17,487 --> 01:26:21,639
...and embarked on a periodic investment
in a no-load mutual fund.
1163
01:26:21,727 --> 01:26:25,481
He leveraged his ass
deep into soy beans and cocoa futures.
1164
01:26:25,807 --> 01:26:27,081
Right on.
1165
01:26:28,127 --> 01:26:30,516
I picked out this thermos for you.
1166
01:26:34,927 --> 01:26:38,283
-I'd kiss you, but l'm so dirty.
-Dirt doesn't bother me.
1167
01:26:39,767 --> 01:26:42,361
But the smell does.
1168
01:26:44,487 --> 01:26:48,196
Son, you'd better get
in the back with the dog...
1169
01:26:48,287 --> 01:26:51,199
...until we can get you hosed down.
1170
01:26:59,407 --> 01:27:03,116
-I love you, Navin!.
-I love you, too!.
1171
01:27:04,407 --> 01:27:06,045
Somebody open a window!.
1172
01:27:06,327 --> 01:27:08,204
Open all the windows.
1173
01:27:10,527 --> 01:27:12,597
I was so glad to be going home.
1174
01:27:12,767 --> 01:27:15,122
I remembered the days
when l sang and danced...
1175
01:27:15,207 --> 01:27:17,721
...with my family
on the porch ofthe old house.
1176
01:27:17,807 --> 01:27:21,516
But things change,
and with all the additions to the family...
1177
01:27:21,767 --> 01:27:25,123
...we had to tear down the old house,
even though we loved it.
1178
01:27:25,207 --> 01:27:27,084
But we built us a bigger one.
1179
01:27:27,887 --> 01:27:30,003
-"Lordy
-"Pick a bale of cotton
1180
01:27:30,087 --> 01:27:31,964
-"Lordy
-"Pick a bale a day
1181
01:27:32,047 --> 01:27:34,641
-"Gonna jump down turn around
-"Pick a bale of cotton
1182
01:27:34,727 --> 01:27:37,480
-"Gonna jump down turn around
-"Pick a bale a day
1183
01:27:50,487 --> 01:27:52,955
-"Me and my buddy
-"Gonna pick a bale of cotton
1184
01:27:53,047 --> 01:27:55,641
-"Well, me and my buddy
-"Gonna pick a bale a day
1185
01:28:00,047 --> 01:28:02,277
-"Lordy
-"Pick a bale of cotton
1186
01:28:02,367 --> 01:28:04,722
-"Lordy
-"Pick a bale a day
1187
01:28:08,887 --> 01:28:11,321
-"Gonna get on your knees
-"And pick a bale of cotton
1188
01:28:11,407 --> 01:28:13,602
-"Gonna get on your knees
-"And pick a bale a day
1189
01:28:13,687 --> 01:28:16,121
-"Gonna move all around
-"And pick a bale of cotton
1190
01:28:16,207 --> 01:28:18,198
-"Gonna move all around
-"Pick a bale a day
1191
01:28:18,287 --> 01:28:20,755
-"Want a barebacked man to
-"Pick a bale of cotton
1192
01:28:20,847 --> 01:28:22,644
-"Want a barebacked man to
-"Pick a bale a day
1193
01:28:22,727 --> 01:28:25,161
-"Jump down turn around
-"Pick a bale of cotton
1194
01:28:25,247 --> 01:28:27,442
-"Jump down turn around
-"Pick a bale a day
1195
01:28:33,247 --> 01:28:34,726
-"Lordy
-"Pick a bale of cotton
1196
01:28:34,807 --> 01:28:37,037
-"Lordy
-"Pick a bale a day
1197
01:28:50,607 --> 01:28:53,565
-"You're gonna jump down turn around
-"Pick a bale of cotton
1198
01:28:53,647 --> 01:28:56,320
-"You're gonna jump down turn around
-"Pick a bale a day
1199
01:28:59,727 --> 01:29:02,002
"Lordy pick a bale of cotton
1200
01:29:02,087 --> 01:29:04,396
"Lordy pick a bale a day
1201
01:29:04,487 --> 01:29:06,842
-"Well, me and my wife
-"Gonna pick a bale of cotton
1202
01:29:06,927 --> 01:29:09,236
-"Well, me and my wife
-"Gonna pick a bale a day
1203
01:29:22,927 --> 01:29:25,157
-"Take it!.
-"Pick a bale of cotton
1204
01:29:25,327 --> 01:29:27,636
"Pick a bale a day"
|