1
00:00:52,986 --> 00:00:55,715
<i>Ah, there it is.
My house.
2
00:00:56,256 --> 00:00:59,543
<i>And good old Cleveland Street.
How could I ever forget it?
3
00:01:00,326 --> 00:01:01,659
<i>And there I am...
4
00:01:01,954 --> 00:01:05,554
<i>...with that dumb round face
and that stupid stocking cap.
5
00:01:06,065 --> 00:01:09,211
<i>Oh, but no matter.
Christmas was on its way.
6
00:01:09,236 --> 00:01:15,622
<i>Lovely, glorious, beautiful Christmas
around which the entire kid year revolved.
7
00:01:17,000 --> 00:01:33,000
Corrected and Arranged by
BANQUO
8
00:01:38,800 --> 00:01:42,384
<i>Downtown Hohman was prepared
for its yearly bacchanalia...
9
00:01:42,414 --> 00:01:45,803
<i>...of peace on earth
and good will to men.
10
00:02:35,292 --> 00:02:41,110
<i>Higbees' corner window was traditionally
a high-water mark of the pre-Christmas season.
11
00:02:42,332 --> 00:02:47,030
<i>First nighters, packed earmuff to earmuff,
jostled in wonderment...
12
00:02:47,170 --> 00:02:55,312
<i>...before a golden tinkling display
of mechanized, electronic joy.
13
00:03:38,590 --> 00:03:41,202
<i>Oh, there it is.
14
00:03:41,460 --> 00:03:43,894
<i>The holy grail of Christmas gifts.
15
00:03:43,897 --> 00:03:48,181
<i>The Red Ryder 200-shot
range model air rifle.
16
00:03:49,002 --> 00:03:51,365
<i>And there he is.
17
00:03:51,471 --> 00:03:53,349
<i>Red Ryder himself.
18
00:03:53,406 --> 00:03:57,706
<i>In his hand was the knurled stock
of as coolly deadly-looking...
19
00:03:57,777 --> 00:04:02,070
<i>...a piece of weaponry
as ever I had laid eyes on.
20
00:04:06,486 --> 00:04:10,479
<i>For weeks, I had been scheming
to get my mitts on one of these...
21
00:04:10,590 --> 00:04:13,486
<i>...fearsome blue-steel beauties.
22
00:04:13,593 --> 00:04:17,726
<i>My fevered brain seethed
with the effort of trying to come up with...
23
00:04:17,798 --> 00:04:21,666
<i>...the infinitely subtle devices
necessary to implant...
24
00:04:21,736 --> 00:04:27,605
<i>...the Red Ryder range model air rifle
indelibly into my parents' subconscious.
25
00:04:27,875 --> 00:04:28,984
Ralphie!
26
00:04:29,277 --> 00:04:30,576
Randy!
27
00:04:30,611 --> 00:04:32,655
Down here in two minutes!
28
00:04:32,847 --> 00:04:34,715
And I mean two minutes!
29
00:04:34,882 --> 00:04:37,558
Come on, Ralphie.
I got here first!
30
00:04:43,556 --> 00:04:44,593
Cut it out!
31
00:05:10,703 --> 00:05:13,965
<i>My mother, grabbing for her copy
of Look magazine...
32
00:05:14,340 --> 00:05:18,689
<i>...would find herself cleverly trapped
into reading a Red Ryder sales pitch.
33
00:05:21,431 --> 00:05:24,076
They traded Bullfrog. I don't believe it.
34
00:05:24,467 --> 00:05:25,665
What's that?
35
00:05:26,135 --> 00:05:28,933
Well, for Christ's sake,
the Sox traded Bullfrog...
36
00:05:29,005 --> 00:05:31,132
...the only player they've got,
for Shottenhoffer.
37
00:05:31,170 --> 00:05:33,905
"Four Eyes" Shottenhoffer,
a utility infielder.
38
00:05:34,076 --> 00:05:37,152
Got a whole goddamned team
of utility infielders.
39
00:05:37,187 --> 00:05:38,724
That's nice.
40
00:05:38,759 --> 00:05:40,887
Ralphie, on the double!
41
00:05:42,252 --> 00:05:44,469
Did you hear about this guy
who swallowed a yo-yo?
42
00:05:44,588 --> 00:05:47,318
- Swallowed a yo-yo?
- On a bet.
43
00:05:47,324 --> 00:05:50,122
Some clodhopper
down in Griffith, Indiana.
44
00:05:51,295 --> 00:05:54,075
Well, they write the silliest things
in the newspapers.
45
00:05:54,331 --> 00:05:57,014
What do you mean, silly?
I mean that's real news.
46
00:05:57,017 --> 00:05:59,512
That's not like that politics slop.
47
00:06:00,270 --> 00:06:05,166
What is the name
of the Lone Ranger's nephew's horse?
48
00:06:05,743 --> 00:06:07,709
Victor.
His name is Victor.
49
00:06:07,846 --> 00:06:10,895
- How the hell did you know that?
- Everybody knows that.
50
00:06:12,717 --> 00:06:14,915
That's another one
of your silly puzzles?
51
00:06:15,453 --> 00:06:17,724
Yeah, it's another one
of our silly puzzles.
52
00:06:17,755 --> 00:06:21,902
Could be worth $50,000.
53
00:06:22,260 --> 00:06:23,895
What kind is it this time?
54
00:06:24,462 --> 00:06:27,184
Name the great characters
in American literature.
55
00:06:28,466 --> 00:06:29,708
- Victor?
- Yeah.
56
00:06:29,711 --> 00:06:32,232
The Lone Ranger's nephew's horse?
57
00:06:32,267 --> 00:06:35,517
<i>Meanwhile, I struggled
for exactly the right BB gun hint.
58
00:06:35,598 --> 00:06:36,940
<i>It had to be firm, but subtle.</i>
59
00:06:37,070 --> 00:06:39,913
Flick says he saw some grizzly bears
near Pulaski's candy store.
60
00:06:46,118 --> 00:06:49,507
<i>They looked at me as if
I had lobsters crawling out of my ears.
61
00:06:51,123 --> 00:06:55,155
<i>I could tell that I was in imminent danger
of over-playing my hand.
62
00:06:55,528 --> 00:06:58,065
<i>Casually, I switched tactics.
63
00:06:58,098 --> 00:06:59,151
Hey, Dad!
64
00:07:00,500 --> 00:07:02,877
I'll bet you'll never guess
what I got you for Christmas.
65
00:07:05,305 --> 00:07:06,889
A new furnace.
66
00:07:08,475 --> 00:07:10,059
That's a good one, Dad.
67
00:07:11,444 --> 00:07:16,416
<i>My old man was one of the most feared
furnace-fighters in northern Indiana.
68
00:07:16,883 --> 00:07:19,113
Hurry up,
you're gonna be late for school.
69
00:07:19,920 --> 00:07:22,286
Yeah, yeah, I'm running
late already.
70
00:07:22,556 --> 00:07:24,466
<i>Round one was over.
71
00:07:24,959 --> 00:07:27,906
<i>Parents, one,
kids, zip.
72
00:07:28,929 --> 00:07:31,793
<i>I could feel the Christmas noose
beginning to tighten.
73
00:07:32,033 --> 00:07:35,002
<i>Maybe what happened
next was inevitable.
74
00:07:35,069 --> 00:07:37,663
Ralphie, what would you like
for Christmas?
75
00:07:37,805 --> 00:07:40,000
<i>Horrified, I heard myself
blurt it out.
76
00:07:40,107 --> 00:07:43,927
I want an official Red Ryder carbine action
200-shot range model air rifle.
77
00:07:45,479 --> 00:07:47,313
No. Shoot your eye out.
78
00:07:47,381 --> 00:07:51,257
<i>Oh, no! It was
the classic mother-BB gun block.
79
00:07:51,587 --> 00:07:53,229
<i>"You'll shoot your eye out."
80
00:07:53,455 --> 00:07:56,984
<i>That deadly phrase uttered
many times before by hundreds...
81
00:07:57,092 --> 00:07:59,060
<i>...of mothers was not surmountable...
82
00:07:59,127 --> 00:08:01,152
<i>...by any means known to kid-dom.
83
00:08:01,330 --> 00:08:05,130
<i>But such was my mania,
my desire for a Red Ryder carbine...
84
00:08:05,233 --> 00:08:08,792
<i>...that I immediately began
to rebuild the dike.
85
00:08:09,605 --> 00:08:12,905
I was just kidding.
Even though Flick is getting one.
86
00:08:13,275 --> 00:08:14,808
I think I'd just like
some Tinkertoys.
87
00:08:14,876 --> 00:08:17,535
<i>I couldn't believe my own ears.
Tinkertoys?
88
00:08:17,580 --> 00:08:19,061
<i>She'd never buy it.
89
00:08:19,415 --> 00:08:21,196
BB guns are dangerous.
90
00:08:21,317 --> 00:08:23,411
I don't want anybody
shooting his eye out.
91
00:08:28,791 --> 00:08:32,597
Randy, will you eat?
There are starving people in China.
92
00:08:42,071 --> 00:08:44,734
<i>Mothers know nothing
about creeping marauders...
93
00:08:44,908 --> 00:08:46,899
<i>...burrowing through the snow
toward the kitchen...
94
00:08:46,977 --> 00:08:50,504
<i>...where only you, and you alone,
stand between your tiny...
95
00:08:50,681 --> 00:08:53,606
<i>...huddled family and insensate evil.
96
00:09:01,291 --> 00:09:04,522
Save us, Ralphie!
I just knew those bad guys...
97
00:09:04,595 --> 00:09:07,029
...would be coming for us in the end!
98
00:09:07,931 --> 00:09:11,177
Don't worry, Dad,
as long as I got Ol' Blue.
99
00:09:15,840 --> 00:09:17,279
What've we got here, folks?
100
00:09:17,342 --> 00:09:20,596
Well, we figure
it's Black Bart, Ralph.
101
00:09:20,645 --> 00:09:26,877
Well, just me and my trusty old Red Ryder
carbine-action 200-shot range model air rifle.
102
00:09:27,218 --> 00:09:29,342
Lucky I've got a compass in the stock.
103
00:09:30,021 --> 00:09:31,837
Well, I think I better
have a look here.
104
00:09:46,205 --> 00:09:47,365
Oh, no!
105
00:09:47,740 --> 00:09:50,138
It's Ol' Blue!
106
00:09:50,343 --> 00:09:52,167
Oh, no!
107
00:09:52,645 --> 00:09:54,342
Cheese it, boys!
108
00:10:06,326 --> 00:10:08,861
There's another one!
He's a dead-eye, ain't he?
109
00:10:17,037 --> 00:10:18,596
Okay, Ralphie!
110
00:10:18,772 --> 00:10:22,196
You win this time,
but we'll be back!
111
00:10:26,880 --> 00:10:28,798
<i>Adiуs</i>, Bart.
112
00:10:28,882 --> 00:10:32,552
But if you do come back,
you'll be pushing up daisies!
113
00:10:37,692 --> 00:10:38,959
And don't you forget it!
114
00:10:38,974 --> 00:10:40,460
<i>Well, son, you saved us!
115
00:10:40,462 --> 00:10:44,235
<i>We were goners for sure!
And you saved us!
116
00:10:52,321 --> 00:10:53,586
That Oldsmobile!
117
00:10:53,834 --> 00:10:55,373
A pile of junk!
118
00:10:56,911 --> 00:10:59,000
That goddamned Olds is froze up again!
119
00:10:59,003 --> 00:11:03,682
<i>Some men are Baptists, others Catholics,
my father was an Oldsmobile man.
120
00:11:03,686 --> 00:11:08,528
That son of a bitch would freeze up
in the middle of summer on the Equator!
121
00:11:08,724 --> 00:11:11,082
- Little pitchers...
- Hold it!
122
00:11:24,673 --> 00:11:27,762
It's a clinker!
123
00:11:28,111 --> 00:11:30,238
That blasted, stupid furnace.
124
00:11:30,313 --> 00:11:31,610
Dadgummit!
125
00:11:36,886 --> 00:11:38,347
<i>Damn skates!
126
00:11:40,591 --> 00:11:43,486
<i>Oh, for Christ's sake,
open up the damper, will you?
127
00:11:43,560 --> 00:11:46,393
<i>Who the hell turned it
all the way down again?
128
00:11:47,130 --> 00:11:48,432
<i>Blasted!
129
00:11:57,708 --> 00:12:02,692
<i>In the heat of battle,
my father wove a tapestry of obscenity...
130
00:12:02,780 --> 00:12:07,487
<i>...that as far as we know is still hanging
in space over Lake Michigan.
131
00:12:18,662 --> 00:12:23,212
<i>Preparing to go to school was like getting
ready for extended deep-sea diving.
132
00:12:43,088 --> 00:12:46,594
- Come on, Mom, we're going to be late!
- Just wait, Ralph!
133
00:12:48,227 --> 00:12:50,760
<i>My kid brother looked
like a tick about to pop.
134
00:12:50,763 --> 00:12:51,817
What?
135
00:12:52,765 --> 00:12:53,853
What is it?
136
00:12:54,567 --> 00:12:55,833
What is it?
137
00:13:00,306 --> 00:13:04,023
- What is it?
- I can't put my arms down!
138
00:13:14,755 --> 00:13:17,111
Well, put your arms down
when you get to school.
139
00:13:47,622 --> 00:13:49,273
Hey, Flick, wait up!
140
00:13:49,457 --> 00:13:50,318
Wait up.
141
00:13:50,394 --> 00:13:52,317
So... what are you doing?
142
00:13:52,493 --> 00:13:54,857
What does it look like I'm doing?
Picking goobers?
143
00:13:55,163 --> 00:13:58,664
Hey, listen, smart ass.
I asked my old man about sticking...
144
00:13:58,733 --> 00:14:01,133
your tongue to metal light poles
in winter...
145
00:14:01,202 --> 00:14:04,603
...and he says it will freeze right to the pole
just like I told you.
146
00:14:04,639 --> 00:14:05,838
Oh, baloney.
147
00:14:05,940 --> 00:14:07,909
What would your old man know
about anything?
148
00:14:07,912 --> 00:14:10,275
He knows, because he once saw a guy
stick his tongue...
149
00:14:10,346 --> 00:14:13,941
...to a railroad track on a bet
and the fire department had to come...
150
00:14:14,016 --> 00:14:17,684
...to get the guy's tongue off the track,
because he couldn't get it off.
151
00:14:17,694 --> 00:14:19,816
Come on, guys, wait up!
152
00:14:19,888 --> 00:14:21,191
Come on, guys!
153
00:14:21,757 --> 00:14:24,320
Come on, guys, wait up!
154
00:14:28,988 --> 00:14:30,480
I can't get up!
155
00:14:31,934 --> 00:14:33,649
I can't get up!
156
00:14:33,652 --> 00:14:35,619
Help! Hey!
157
00:14:35,939 --> 00:14:38,890
I can't get up!
Help me!
158
00:14:39,809 --> 00:14:41,485
Come on, Flick,
wait up for me.
159
00:14:41,578 --> 00:14:44,019
I can't get up!
160
00:14:46,850 --> 00:14:50,049
- Come on. Get up. Sit up. Come on.
- I can't get up!
161
00:14:51,888 --> 00:14:53,187
You're okay.
Come on, let's go.
162
00:14:53,190 --> 00:14:54,721
Come on, you're all right!
163
00:15:01,537 --> 00:15:04,857
Miss Shields! Miss Shields!
Miss Shields! Miss Shields!
164
00:15:05,936 --> 00:15:08,677
All right, everyone,
take your seats, please.
165
00:15:16,781 --> 00:15:18,469
Good morning, class.
166
00:15:18,759 --> 00:15:22,484
Good morning, Miss Shields.
167
00:15:56,823 --> 00:15:59,226
Open your books to page 32...
168
00:15:59,307 --> 00:16:02,624
...and as you'll remember,
Silas Marner...
169
00:16:12,838 --> 00:16:15,066
You're full of beans
and so's your old man.
170
00:16:15,067 --> 00:16:16,439
- Oh, yeah?
- Yeah.
171
00:16:16,442 --> 00:16:17,972
- Says who?
- Says me.
172
00:16:17,973 --> 00:16:19,225
- Oh, yeah?
- Yeah.
173
00:16:19,228 --> 00:16:20,744
Well, I double-dare you.
174
00:16:20,779 --> 00:16:27,011
<i>The exact exchange and nuance of
phrase in this ritual is very important.
175
00:16:27,031 --> 00:16:30,790
Are you kidding? Stick my tongue
to that stupid pole? That's dumb.
176
00:16:30,858 --> 00:16:32,766
That's 'cause you know it will stick!
177
00:16:32,926 --> 00:16:33,920
You're full of it.
178
00:16:33,921 --> 00:16:35,225
- Oh, yeah?
- Yeah.
179
00:16:35,260 --> 00:16:37,371
Well, I double dog-dare you!
180
00:16:37,831 --> 00:16:41,533
<i>Now it was serious.
A double dog-dare.
181
00:16:41,568 --> 00:16:43,629
<i>What else was left
but a "triple-dare you"?
182
00:16:43,737 --> 00:16:46,328
<i>And finally,
the coup de grace of all dares...
183
00:16:46,340 --> 00:16:49,377
<i>...the sinister triple dog-dare!
184
00:16:49,443 --> 00:16:52,267
I triple dog-dare you!
185
00:16:52,914 --> 00:16:55,382
<i>Schwartz created
a slight breach of etiquette...
186
00:16:55,483 --> 00:16:59,084
<i>...by skipping the triple-dare
and going right for the throat.
187
00:16:59,087 --> 00:17:00,655
All right, all right.
188
00:17:10,231 --> 00:17:14,077
- Oh, go on, smart ass, and do it!
- I'm going, I'm going!
189
00:17:14,235 --> 00:17:18,443
<i>Flick's spine stiffened,
his lips curled in a defiant sneer.
190
00:17:18,641 --> 00:17:21,327
<i>There was no going back now.
191
00:17:23,746 --> 00:17:25,664
This is noth...
192
00:17:29,884 --> 00:17:31,345
Stuck? Stuck?
193
00:17:31,348 --> 00:17:33,655
Stuck! Stuck!
194
00:17:33,658 --> 00:17:35,850
Stuck! Stuck!
195
00:17:35,899 --> 00:17:37,207
Stuck!
196
00:17:38,843 --> 00:17:40,556
- Stuck!
- Jeez!
197
00:17:40,563 --> 00:17:42,025
It really works!
198
00:17:42,264 --> 00:17:43,435
Look at him!
199
00:17:53,944 --> 00:17:55,407
Ralphie, come back!
200
00:17:55,629 --> 00:17:59,017
- Come back! Don't leave me! Come back!
- But the bell rang!
201
00:17:59,070 --> 00:18:02,703
- What are we gonna do?
- I don't know! The bell rang!
202
00:18:04,622 --> 00:18:08,864
Don't leave me! Come back!
Come back! Come back!
203
00:18:12,995 --> 00:18:14,284
Where's Flick?
204
00:18:15,899 --> 00:18:17,406
Has anyone seen Flick?
205
00:18:17,486 --> 00:18:19,017
<i>Flick? Flick who?
206
00:18:19,282 --> 00:18:21,312
He was at recess, wasn't he?
207
00:18:23,137 --> 00:18:25,779
Ralphie, do you know
where Flick is?
208
00:18:31,170 --> 00:18:35,014
I said has anyone seen Flick?
209
00:18:36,999 --> 00:18:38,537
Yes, Esther Jane?
210
00:18:44,750 --> 00:18:46,659
Oh, my God!
211
00:19:07,137 --> 00:19:10,051
Holy cow,
it's the fire department!
212
00:19:10,068 --> 00:19:11,528
Oh, no!
213
00:19:16,650 --> 00:19:18,537
Wow, it's the cops!
214
00:20:10,933 --> 00:20:16,011
Now, I know that some of you
put Flick up to this.
215
00:20:17,751 --> 00:20:20,873
But he has refused to say who.
216
00:20:22,849 --> 00:20:26,103
But those who did it
know their blame.
217
00:20:27,718 --> 00:20:35,269
And I'm sure the guilt you feel is far worse
than any punishment you might receive.
218
00:20:39,110 --> 00:20:41,512
Now, don't you feel terrible?
219
00:20:42,348 --> 00:20:45,423
Don't you feel remorse
for what you have done?
220
00:20:46,186 --> 00:20:50,774
Well! That's all I'm going to say
about poor Flick.
221
00:20:53,394 --> 00:20:56,897
<i>Adults love to say things like that.
But kids know better.
222
00:20:56,900 --> 00:21:00,634
<i>We knew darn well it was
always better not to get caught.
223
00:21:00,830 --> 00:21:03,531
Now, boys and girls,
I'm going to give you an assignment.
224
00:21:05,389 --> 00:21:07,393
I want you to write...
225
00:21:08,302 --> 00:21:12,093
- ...a theme.
- Oh, no!
226
00:21:12,938 --> 00:21:15,335
"What I want for Christmas."
227
00:21:16,612 --> 00:21:18,411
<i>The clouds lifted.
228
00:21:18,423 --> 00:21:20,995
And I want it handed in
tomorrow morning...
229
00:21:21,091 --> 00:21:26,175
<i>I saw a faint gleam of light at the
other end of the black cave of doom.
230
00:21:26,371 --> 00:21:30,352
<i>I knew that when Miss Shields
read my magnificent, eloquent theme...
231
00:21:30,643 --> 00:21:33,202
<i>...that she would sympathize
with my plight...
232
00:21:33,268 --> 00:21:36,918
<i>...and everything would
work out, somehow.
233
00:21:51,718 --> 00:21:54,415
Boy, did you see how it stuck?
234
00:21:54,763 --> 00:21:57,987
- Did it hurt, Flick?
- No. I never felt a thing.
235
00:21:58,006 --> 00:21:59,610
It just caught me off-guard.
236
00:21:59,669 --> 00:22:02,477
- You sure were bawling.
- I never bawled!
237
00:22:02,480 --> 00:22:04,304
Oh, baloney.
238
00:22:17,063 --> 00:22:18,850
Scut Farkus!
239
00:22:18,853 --> 00:22:23,025
<i>Scut Farkus! What a rotten name.
We were trapped.
240
00:22:23,121 --> 00:22:25,757
<i>There he stood,
between us and the alley.
241
00:22:25,825 --> 00:22:29,409
<i>Scut Farkus, staring out at us
with his yellow eyes.
242
00:22:29,572 --> 00:22:33,258
<i>He had yellow eyes!
So help me God, yellow eyes.
243
00:22:47,982 --> 00:22:51,135
<i>Grover Dill,
Farkus' crummy little toady.
244
00:22:51,174 --> 00:22:52,438
<i>Mean. Rotten.
245
00:22:52,441 --> 00:22:55,345
<i>His lips curled
over his green teeth.
246
00:22:55,523 --> 00:22:57,222
<i>Randy lay there like a slug.
247
00:22:57,535 --> 00:22:59,193
<i>It was his only defense.
248
00:23:04,431 --> 00:23:06,322
- Say "uncle."
- Uncle!
249
00:23:06,325 --> 00:23:09,111
- Uncle!
- Uncle!
250
00:23:09,232 --> 00:23:11,338
- Louder!
- Uncle!
251
00:23:11,580 --> 00:23:14,141
- Louder!
- Uncle!
252
00:23:14,176 --> 00:23:17,160
- Louder!
- Uncle!
253
00:23:17,166 --> 00:23:22,742
<i>In our world, you were either a bully, a toady,
or one of the nameless rabble of victims.
254
00:23:23,020 --> 00:23:24,260
All right.
255
00:23:24,368 --> 00:23:26,316
Who's next?
256
00:23:48,043 --> 00:23:49,285
Man!
257
00:23:49,382 --> 00:23:52,997
<i>In the jungles of kid-dom,
the mind switches gears rapidly.
258
00:23:53,458 --> 00:23:58,207
<i>Weeks ago, I had sent away for my Little
Orphan Annie secret society decoder pen.
259
00:23:58,321 --> 00:24:00,489
<i>Oh, skunked again.
260
00:24:00,524 --> 00:24:03,161
<i>No matter. Today I had
serious work to do.
261
00:24:03,865 --> 00:24:05,817
"What I want for Christmas."
262
00:24:06,101 --> 00:24:10,737
"What I want for Christmas is a Red Ryder BB gun with
a compass in the stock and this thing which tells time."
263
00:24:11,186 --> 00:24:12,488
Wow, that's great.
264
00:24:12,637 --> 00:24:15,474
"I think that everybody should have
a Red Ryder BB gun."
265
00:24:15,699 --> 00:24:17,637
"They're very good for Christmas."
266
00:24:18,246 --> 00:24:21,320
"I don't think that a football's
a very good Christmas present."
267
00:24:22,446 --> 00:24:28,352
<i>Oh, rarely had the words poured from
my penny pencil with such feverish fluidity.
268
00:24:33,340 --> 00:24:36,128
I've won! I've won! I've won!
269
00:24:36,236 --> 00:24:38,794
Hey, go away from me.
Get out of here!
270
00:24:44,411 --> 00:24:45,744
I've won! I've won!
271
00:24:45,747 --> 00:24:48,605
<i>Uh-huh, the Bumpus hounds.
272
00:24:48,640 --> 00:24:53,640
<i>Our hillbilly neighbors, the Bumpuses,
had at least 785 smelly hound dogs.
273
00:24:53,861 --> 00:24:57,469
<i>And they ignored every other
human being on earth but my old man.
274
00:24:59,786 --> 00:25:01,610
I won! I won!
275
00:25:03,231 --> 00:25:04,881
I won! I won!
276
00:25:04,882 --> 00:25:06,119
- I won! I won!
- What? What is it? What?
277
00:25:06,122 --> 00:25:07,602
- What?
- A major prize, a major prize!
278
00:25:07,605 --> 00:25:09,243
I won, I won, I won!
279
00:25:09,246 --> 00:25:12,706
Hey, look at that. Look at that.
A Western Union telegram.
280
00:25:12,741 --> 00:25:15,995
<i>Tonight, tonight, it's coming tonight...
Tonight, tonight, hot damn tonight...
281
00:25:16,050 --> 00:25:17,626
What does this mean here?
282
00:25:17,770 --> 00:25:19,596
It means it's coming tonight!
283
00:25:19,764 --> 00:25:21,505
See, I called Ernie McClosky
at the freight depot.
284
00:25:21,558 --> 00:25:24,395
He said the telegram was late,
the prize was already there...
285
00:25:24,400 --> 00:25:26,610
...he was going to send it on tonight.
286
00:25:26,816 --> 00:25:30,131
Go on. Have a chew, fellas, on me.
It's my gift.
287
00:25:31,117 --> 00:25:35,525
You know, maybe it'll be one of those
Spanish adobe houses down in Cor...
288
00:25:39,874 --> 00:25:41,979
Serves you right, you smelly buggers.
289
00:25:42,400 --> 00:25:44,592
Or it could be a bowling alley.
290
00:25:44,646 --> 00:25:47,374
You know, a guy down in Terre Haute
won a bowling alley.
291
00:25:47,401 --> 00:25:50,141
How are they gonna deliver
a bowling alley here tonight?
292
00:25:50,471 --> 00:25:54,109
They could send the deed,
for cripesake. I mean...
293
00:25:54,391 --> 00:25:57,358
I didn't expect they were going
to send the whole damn bowling alley.
294
00:25:57,605 --> 00:26:00,711
Yeah, well. How about eating?
I'm starving to death.
295
00:26:00,860 --> 00:26:03,178
Getting rich is hard work, kid.
Come on.
296
00:26:11,583 --> 00:26:14,056
<i>Every family has a kid
who won't eat.
297
00:26:14,096 --> 00:26:18,536
<i>My kid brother had not eaten
voluntarily in over three years.
298
00:26:19,568 --> 00:26:23,720
Oh, Randy, don't play
with your food, eat it!
299
00:26:26,074 --> 00:26:28,830
Starving people would be happy
to have that.
300
00:26:28,965 --> 00:26:30,564
Can I have some
more red cabbage?
301
00:26:37,603 --> 00:26:41,006
You stop playing with your food,
or I'll give you something to cry about.
302
00:26:41,233 --> 00:26:44,253
You better stop fooling around with it
and eat it or you'll be sorry.
303
00:26:49,060 --> 00:26:50,929
Whoa, whoa!
Can I please have some more?
304
00:26:51,144 --> 00:26:55,560
<i>My mother had not had a hot meal
for herself in 15 years.
305
00:26:56,773 --> 00:27:00,263
Nice meatloaf,
double bigloaf.
306
00:27:00,509 --> 00:27:02,712
I hate meatloaf.
307
00:27:03,279 --> 00:27:06,149
All right. All right,
I'll get that kid to eat.
308
00:27:06,490 --> 00:27:10,423
Where's my screwdriver and plumber's helper?
I'll open up his mouth and I'll shove it in.
309
00:27:10,424 --> 00:27:12,577
- Randy.
- <i>My mother was more subtle.
310
00:27:13,336 --> 00:27:15,215
How do the little piggies go?
311
00:27:16,290 --> 00:27:18,858
That's right.
Oink, oink.
312
00:27:18,893 --> 00:27:22,155
Now, show me how the piggies eat.
This is your trough.
313
00:27:22,277 --> 00:27:25,553
Show me how the piggies eat.
314
00:27:25,725 --> 00:27:28,472
Be a good boy.
Show Mommy how the piggies eat.
315
00:27:57,035 --> 00:27:58,758
Oh, my.
316
00:27:58,761 --> 00:28:01,199
Mommy's little piggy.
317
00:28:21,792 --> 00:28:23,018
It is here.
318
00:28:30,429 --> 00:28:31,635
- Are you Parker?
- Yeah, yeah.
319
00:28:31,638 --> 00:28:33,903
- All right, sign here.
- Yeah. Well, what is it?
320
00:28:33,906 --> 00:28:35,087
I don't know.
321
00:28:35,390 --> 00:28:36,477
What's in it?
322
00:28:36,984 --> 00:28:38,825
Here. Bring it in.
323
00:28:38,860 --> 00:28:41,212
Okay, boys. Haul that on in here.
Move your tails.
324
00:28:41,281 --> 00:28:44,773
Bring it right on in. Right here.
Bring it ahead. Straight ahead.
325
00:28:44,918 --> 00:28:46,012
That's right.
326
00:28:47,153 --> 00:28:48,299
Right.
327
00:28:48,321 --> 00:28:51,224
Here, bring it right in, fellas.
That's it. Here we go.
328
00:28:51,359 --> 00:28:54,506
A little more. Little more.
That's it.
329
00:28:57,355 --> 00:28:58,802
Watch the lady.
330
00:29:07,812 --> 00:29:09,485
Thanks a lot, guys.
331
00:29:09,520 --> 00:29:10,840
Merry Christmas.
332
00:29:10,875 --> 00:29:13,143
- Get the crowbar and a hammer, Ralphie. Go on.
- Okay.
333
00:29:15,249 --> 00:29:17,294
Fragile.
334
00:29:17,451 --> 00:29:21,082
- That must be Italian.
- I think that says "fragile", honey.
335
00:29:21,217 --> 00:29:22,559
Oh, yeah.
336
00:29:24,328 --> 00:29:25,555
Here we go.
337
00:29:31,162 --> 00:29:33,484
They did a job on this, you know?
338
00:29:39,843 --> 00:29:41,546
No, here, Ralph, hold this.
339
00:29:49,202 --> 00:29:51,174
There could be anything in there!
340
00:29:51,554 --> 00:29:52,707
Jesus!
341
00:29:55,725 --> 00:29:57,252
- Maybe they forgot.
- What?
342
00:29:57,496 --> 00:29:59,407
It's in there.
It's gotta be in there.
343
00:30:07,049 --> 00:30:09,269
- Would you look at that?
- What?
344
00:30:09,372 --> 00:30:11,939
Would you look at that?
345
00:30:14,453 --> 00:30:15,701
What is it?
346
00:30:16,646 --> 00:30:18,090
It's a leg!
347
00:30:18,538 --> 00:30:19,923
But what is it?
348
00:30:20,124 --> 00:30:22,051
Well... it's a leg.
349
00:30:22,186 --> 00:30:23,792
You know, like in a statue.
350
00:30:23,860 --> 00:30:26,420
- Statue?
- Yeah, statue!
351
00:30:27,002 --> 00:30:28,685
Yeah, statue!
352
00:30:28,893 --> 00:30:30,442
Ralphie!
353
00:30:30,698 --> 00:30:34,877
<i>My mother was trying to insinuate herself
between us and the statue.
354
00:30:34,912 --> 00:30:36,693
Holy smoke, would you...
355
00:30:37,054 --> 00:30:38,572
Do you know what this is?
356
00:30:39,099 --> 00:30:40,803
This is...
357
00:30:41,366 --> 00:30:42,604
...a lamp.
358
00:30:42,666 --> 00:30:44,105
<i>It was indeed a lamp.
359
00:30:44,108 --> 00:30:47,945
Isn't that great?
What a great lamp!
360
00:30:48,346 --> 00:30:49,719
I don't know.
361
00:30:49,720 --> 00:30:51,088
Yeah.
362
00:30:51,117 --> 00:30:53,807
Here, hold it.
Hold it. Here, go on.
363
00:30:54,160 --> 00:30:55,969
<i>The old man's eyes boggled...
364
00:30:55,972 --> 00:30:57,670
Oh, wow!
365
00:30:57,835 --> 00:30:59,279
<i>...overcome by art.
366
00:30:59,290 --> 00:31:01,296
I know just the place for it.
367
00:31:01,331 --> 00:31:04,777
Right in the middle
of our front room window!
368
00:31:23,485 --> 00:31:24,823
Jesus, God.
369
00:31:29,138 --> 00:31:31,921
- Honey?
- No, it's all right, it's all right. It's all right.
370
00:31:33,092 --> 00:31:34,514
Let's see...
371
00:31:35,089 --> 00:31:40,277
This goes to the radio
and this goes to the...
372
00:31:40,531 --> 00:31:43,105
Well, it's just one too many.
373
00:31:46,794 --> 00:31:47,962
Well, let's see.
374
00:31:48,000 --> 00:31:51,241
<i>The snap of a few sparks,
a quick whiff of ozone...
375
00:31:51,244 --> 00:31:54,999
<i>...and the lamp blazed forth
in unparalleled glory.
376
00:31:55,034 --> 00:31:57,614
Oh, look at that!
Will you look at that?
377
00:31:57,617 --> 00:32:00,265
Isn't that glorious?
378
00:32:01,288 --> 00:32:05,418
It's indescribably beautiful.
It reminds me of the Fourth of July!
379
00:32:06,348 --> 00:32:08,869
Turn off all the lights. I wanna see
what it looks like from the street.
380
00:32:09,030 --> 00:32:11,788
- I'll go get the dining room.
- Couldn't we talk this over?
381
00:32:15,260 --> 00:32:16,582
Honey.
382
00:32:32,354 --> 00:32:35,902
Emma, move it a little bit to the right.
A little that way.
383
00:32:36,445 --> 00:32:40,307
Just a little...
More to the right.
384
00:32:41,096 --> 00:32:43,229
Yeah. More.
That's it. No, stop!
385
00:32:43,232 --> 00:32:45,411
Right there.
That's wonderful.
386
00:32:45,414 --> 00:32:46,852
Hey, Park, what is that?
387
00:32:47,403 --> 00:32:49,299
Don't bother me, Swede.
Can't you see I'm busy?
388
00:32:49,371 --> 00:32:52,391
- Yeah, but what is that?
- It's a major award.
389
00:32:53,230 --> 00:32:55,018
A major award?
390
00:32:55,743 --> 00:32:58,370
Shucks, I wouldn't have known that.
It looks like a lamp.
391
00:32:58,405 --> 00:33:01,722
It is a lamp, you nincompoop.
But it's a major award.
392
00:33:01,818 --> 00:33:02,894
I won it.
393
00:33:03,412 --> 00:33:05,790
- Damn, hell, you say you won it?
- Yeah.
394
00:33:06,679 --> 00:33:08,942
Mind power, Swede, mind power.
395
00:33:09,454 --> 00:33:11,723
<i>The entire neighborhood was turned on.
396
00:33:11,828 --> 00:33:14,801
You should see what it looks like
from out here!
397
00:33:14,964 --> 00:33:17,733
<i>It could be seen
up and down Cleveland Street.
398
00:33:17,736 --> 00:33:19,665
<i>The symbol of the old man's victory.
399
00:33:19,668 --> 00:33:21,936
Yeah, he won that.
It's a major award.
400
00:33:22,174 --> 00:33:26,145
Isn't it about time for somebody's
favorite radio program?
401
00:33:26,553 --> 00:33:27,444
- Yeah!
- Yeah!
402
00:33:27,479 --> 00:33:29,892
<i>Holy smokes, it was 6:45.
403
00:33:29,927 --> 00:33:32,041
<i>Only one thing that
could've dragged me away...
404
00:33:32,116 --> 00:33:35,801
<i>...from the soft glow of electric sex
gleaming in the window.
405
00:33:48,501 --> 00:33:50,818
<i>Kids, it's Little Orphan Annie time.
406
00:33:50,821 --> 00:33:53,683
<i>Brought to you by rich,
chocolaty Ovaltine.
407
00:33:54,237 --> 00:33:55,804
<i>I could still taste it.
408
00:33:57,307 --> 00:33:58,968
Hey, you turned the light off!
409
00:34:15,846 --> 00:34:19,335
<i>I knew I was handing
Miss Shields a masterpiece.
410
00:34:19,634 --> 00:34:21,283
<i>Maybe Miss Shields,
in her ecstasy...
411
00:34:21,361 --> 00:34:24,968
<i>...would excuse me from theme writing
for the rest of my natural life.
412
00:34:33,464 --> 00:34:35,237
You call this a paragraph?
413
00:34:35,396 --> 00:34:39,614
Margins! Margins!
Margins! F!
414
00:34:40,553 --> 00:34:43,127
My life's work down the drain.
415
00:34:43,760 --> 00:34:46,093
A semicolon, you dolt!
416
00:34:46,125 --> 00:34:47,422
A period.
417
00:34:47,696 --> 00:34:48,581
F!
418
00:34:48,584 --> 00:34:53,955
Oh, I should weep
if I have to read one more F!
419
00:34:54,618 --> 00:34:56,277
Ralphie Parker.
420
00:35:11,385 --> 00:35:14,319
The theme I've been
waiting for all my life.
421
00:35:14,789 --> 00:35:16,615
Listen to this sentence.
422
00:35:16,814 --> 00:35:22,444
"A Red Ryder BB gun with
a compass in the stock..."
423
00:35:22,447 --> 00:35:25,805
"...and this thing which tells time."
424
00:35:27,102 --> 00:35:30,332
Poetry.
Sheer poetry.
425
00:35:30,405 --> 00:35:35,580
Ralph, an A+.
My Ralph!
426
00:35:35,610 --> 00:35:39,549
Oh, Ralphie, you've made me proud.
427
00:35:40,215 --> 00:35:42,428
A+!
428
00:36:09,760 --> 00:36:10,962
Ralph!
429
00:36:13,754 --> 00:36:15,022
Ralphie!
430
00:36:16,821 --> 00:36:17,934
Ralph!
431
00:36:20,623 --> 00:36:22,382
Is there something you want, Ralph?
432
00:36:22,954 --> 00:36:24,575
I'm just turning in my theme.
433
00:36:27,496 --> 00:36:29,209
Well, you can take your seat now.
434
00:36:32,235 --> 00:36:33,604
Take your seat.
435
00:36:51,972 --> 00:36:53,125
Come on, you guys.
436
00:36:59,263 --> 00:37:01,363
Get in the car.
Get in the car.
437
00:37:02,401 --> 00:37:05,626
If we don't hurry, we're going
to miss all the good trees!
438
00:37:06,400 --> 00:37:07,892
Go on, go on.
439
00:37:07,906 --> 00:37:14,144
<i>My mother was about to make another brilliant
maneuver in the legendary battle of the lamp.
440
00:37:14,147 --> 00:37:20,514
<i>The epic struggle which followed lives in the
folklore of Cleveland Street to this very day.
441
00:37:20,519 --> 00:37:22,465
Don't wanna waste electricity.
442
00:37:23,588 --> 00:37:25,317
Don't want to waste electricity.
443
00:37:25,357 --> 00:37:26,999
Come on, Ralphie.
Get in the car.
444
00:37:33,400 --> 00:37:35,825
You folks looking for a tree?
We got 300 trees here.
445
00:37:35,888 --> 00:37:39,268
This is the Christmas tree emporium
of the entire Midwest.
446
00:37:39,303 --> 00:37:42,832
Now, you ain't gonna find no better tree
than this here tree.
447
00:37:43,076 --> 00:37:44,975
This here tree is built to last.
448
00:37:45,144 --> 00:37:47,319
Ain't no needles
coming off this here...
449
00:37:50,399 --> 00:37:52,483
Okay.
Now here's a tree.
450
00:37:52,618 --> 00:37:54,302
This here is a tree.
451
00:37:54,363 --> 00:37:59,000
- That's a little skimpy in the front.
- Well, you just put it in the corner.
452
00:37:59,026 --> 00:38:03,157
- Haven't you got a big tree?
- Yeah! Hell, this ain't no tree.
453
00:38:03,180 --> 00:38:05,739
Now here's a tree.
This here is a tree.
454
00:38:06,534 --> 00:38:10,634
- Wait'll the dogs see that one.
- Don't you think it's a little large?
455
00:38:11,038 --> 00:38:13,937
Yeah, hell, listen, Christmas only
comes once a year. Why not?
456
00:38:13,952 --> 00:38:15,496
- Why not?
- Yeah, why... How much?
457
00:38:15,531 --> 00:38:18,708
I'll knock off $2, because I can see
you're a man who knows his trees.
458
00:38:18,722 --> 00:38:22,271
This isn't one of those trees
that all the needles falls off, is it?
459
00:38:22,282 --> 00:38:24,022
No, that's them balsams.
460
00:38:24,025 --> 00:38:26,726
<i>The old man loved bargaining
as much as an Arab trader...
461
00:38:26,755 --> 00:38:28,581
<i>...and he was twice as shrewd.
462
00:38:28,584 --> 00:38:33,347
You know, Dew Lock just bought one of
those brand new green plastic trees.
463
00:38:33,506 --> 00:38:34,908
Oh, no.
464
00:38:34,987 --> 00:38:39,686
Darn thing looks like it was
made out of green pipe cleaners.
465
00:38:40,040 --> 00:38:42,766
- This is a very nice tree.
- Yeah.
466
00:38:43,028 --> 00:38:44,901
I'll throw in some rope
and tie it to your car for you.
467
00:38:44,904 --> 00:38:46,117
You got a deal.
468
00:38:46,608 --> 00:38:47,750
Deal.
469
00:39:07,429 --> 00:39:09,004
Hey, damn it.
Blow out!
470
00:39:17,474 --> 00:39:19,003
Not again.
471
00:39:20,293 --> 00:39:21,482
Four minutes!
472
00:39:21,737 --> 00:39:23,070
Time me.
473
00:39:24,514 --> 00:39:26,330
<i>Actually, my old man loved it.
474
00:39:26,333 --> 00:39:30,732
<i>He always saw himself in the pits
at the Indianapolis Speedway in the 500.
475
00:39:35,892 --> 00:39:40,141
<i>My old man's spare tires were actually
only tires in the academic sense.
476
00:39:40,197 --> 00:39:42,619
<i>They were round.
They had once been made of rubber.
477
00:39:47,355 --> 00:39:48,349
- Ralphie...
- Yes?
478
00:39:48,352 --> 00:39:50,405
...why don't you
go help your father?
479
00:39:50,741 --> 00:39:52,536
- Really? Can I?
- Yes.
480
00:39:52,877 --> 00:39:54,804
- Watch the traffic, there.
- Okay.
481
00:39:55,980 --> 00:39:58,444
<i>It was the first time that
it had been suggested that...
482
00:39:58,445 --> 00:40:01,061
<i>...I go help my father
with anything.
483
00:40:04,856 --> 00:40:07,620
- What are you doing here?
- Mom says I should help.
484
00:40:08,131 --> 00:40:09,117
- Oh, yeah?
- Yeah.
485
00:40:09,120 --> 00:40:11,068
Okay, sit down here.
Squat down.
486
00:40:11,516 --> 00:40:13,918
Yeah, yeah,
that's it, that's it.
487
00:40:14,232 --> 00:40:15,695
Here.
Hold this. Here.
488
00:40:19,605 --> 00:40:22,625
No, not that way. Come on,
rat trap, hold it like this, eh?
489
00:40:22,728 --> 00:40:23,944
- How?
- How? Like this.
490
00:40:23,976 --> 00:40:26,176
I want to put the nuts in it.
There we are.
491
00:40:26,348 --> 00:40:29,416
There's four of them.
And we got it!
492
00:40:31,222 --> 00:40:32,682
Like this.
There it is.
493
00:40:32,705 --> 00:40:37,131
That son of a gun.
I'm gonna get that dirty...
494
00:40:37,166 --> 00:40:38,200
There we go.
495
00:40:38,292 --> 00:40:41,273
<i>Oh, for one brief moment
I saw all the bolts silhouetted...
496
00:40:41,294 --> 00:40:44,150
<i>...against the lights of the traffic.
And then they were gone.
497
00:40:44,898 --> 00:40:51,328
Oh, fudge!
498
00:40:51,504 --> 00:40:53,539
<i>Only I didn't say "fudge".
499
00:40:53,574 --> 00:40:55,587
<i>I said the word.
500
00:40:55,622 --> 00:40:59,195
<i>The big one.
The queen mother of dirty words.
501
00:40:59,200 --> 00:41:01,562
<i>The "f, dash, dash, dash" word.
502
00:41:01,565 --> 00:41:03,179
What did you say?
503
00:41:06,470 --> 00:41:09,204
That's what I thought
you said.
504
00:41:11,392 --> 00:41:12,891
Get in the car.
505
00:41:16,396 --> 00:41:17,460
Go on.
506
00:41:17,465 --> 00:41:19,818
<i>It was all over.
I was dead.
507
00:41:19,946 --> 00:41:22,566
<i>What would it be?
The guillotine? Hanging?
508
00:41:22,603 --> 00:41:25,929
<i>The chair? The rack?
The Chinese water torture?
509
00:41:26,214 --> 00:41:30,099
<i>Mere child's play compared
to what surely awaited me.
510
00:41:32,968 --> 00:41:34,495
Everything go all right?
511
00:41:49,831 --> 00:41:51,390
Eight minutes.
512
00:41:53,885 --> 00:41:57,161
- Do you know what your son just said?
- No. What?
513
00:41:57,806 --> 00:41:59,700
I'll tell you what he said.
Randy!
514
00:42:03,929 --> 00:42:05,396
Ralphie!
515
00:42:06,872 --> 00:42:09,648
<i>Over the years, I got to be
quite a connoisseur of soap.
516
00:42:09,776 --> 00:42:11,685
<i>My personal preference is for Lux...
517
00:42:11,690 --> 00:42:16,191
<i>...but I found Palmolive had a nice,
piquant, after-dinner flavor.
518
00:42:16,308 --> 00:42:20,058
<i>Heady, but with just a touch
of mellow smoothness.
519
00:42:23,272 --> 00:42:25,294
<i>Lifebuoy, on the other hand.
520
00:42:27,504 --> 00:42:28,935
You ready to tell me?
521
00:42:34,277 --> 00:42:36,737
All right. Where did
you hear that word?
522
00:42:36,997 --> 00:42:40,734
<i>Now I had heard that word at least
10 times a day from my old man.
523
00:42:41,038 --> 00:42:45,969
<i>My father worked in profanity the way
other artists might work in oils or clay.
524
00:42:45,972 --> 00:42:48,625
<i>It was his true medium.
A master.
525
00:42:48,911 --> 00:42:50,267
<i>But I chickened out.
526
00:42:50,270 --> 00:42:52,988
<i>And I blurted out the first
name that came to mind.
527
00:42:52,997 --> 00:42:54,230
Schwartz!
528
00:42:55,181 --> 00:42:57,543
Oh, I see.
529
00:43:09,555 --> 00:43:11,966
Hello, Mrs. Schwartz?
Yes, I'm fine.
530
00:43:12,287 --> 00:43:16,541
Um... Mrs. Schwartz,
do you know what Ralph just said?
531
00:43:18,114 --> 00:43:19,121
No.
532
00:43:19,196 --> 00:43:20,568
He said...
533
00:43:22,302 --> 00:43:24,082
<i>No, not that!
534
00:43:24,448 --> 00:43:25,659
Yes, that.
535
00:43:25,789 --> 00:43:28,916
- Do you know where he heard it?
- <i>Probably from his father.
536
00:43:28,924 --> 00:43:31,241
No!
He heard it from your son!
537
00:43:31,244 --> 00:43:34,643
<i>What? What? What?
538
00:43:40,512 --> 00:43:43,988
<i>What'd I do, Mom?
Why? I didn't do nothing!
539
00:43:49,840 --> 00:43:53,751
<i>Another shot of mysterious,
inexorable, official justice.
540
00:43:53,893 --> 00:43:58,921
Rinse out and go to bed. Oh, how am I glad
you finished your homework this afternoon!
541
00:43:58,956 --> 00:44:01,788
So I want you getting right into bed,
and I don't wanna see any lights on.
542
00:44:01,854 --> 00:44:04,827
You are being punished,
so no comic book reading!
543
00:44:04,862 --> 00:44:06,895
I'm gonna come in,
and if any lights are on...
544
00:44:06,906 --> 00:44:09,803
Don't you give me that look!
You're gonna get it!
545
00:44:31,631 --> 00:44:34,767
<i>Three blocks away,
Schwartz was getting his.
546
00:44:36,033 --> 00:44:38,665
<i>There has never been a kid
who didn't believe...
547
00:44:38,671 --> 00:44:42,420
<i>...vaguely but insistently,
that he would be stricken blind...
548
00:44:42,426 --> 00:44:46,426
<i>...before he reached 21.
And then they'd be sorry.
549
00:44:57,192 --> 00:44:59,073
Why, it's Ralph!
550
00:44:59,166 --> 00:45:02,310
Well, come on in, Ralph.
Where've you been?
551
00:45:06,902 --> 00:45:11,004
- Why, he's carrying a cane!
- What is it, Ralph? What happened?
552
00:45:11,147 --> 00:45:15,444
- Why, he's blind!
- Blind? Oh, my God!
553
00:45:17,144 --> 00:45:19,541
Ralph, is it something we did?
554
00:45:19,543 --> 00:45:23,410
What brought you
to this lonely state?
555
00:45:23,565 --> 00:45:27,654
Ralph, please tell us no matter
how it hurts. What did we do?
556
00:45:27,690 --> 00:45:28,970
No, I... I can't.
557
00:45:28,973 --> 00:45:29,817
- Oh, please, Ralph.
- Please.
558
00:45:29,819 --> 00:45:31,599
I must know what we did.
559
00:45:31,661 --> 00:45:33,656
- What brought you to this?
- Please.
560
00:45:35,969 --> 00:45:37,427
Please.
561
00:45:38,202 --> 00:45:40,832
It... It... It was...
562
00:45:40,833 --> 00:45:43,020
Yes? Yes?
563
00:45:43,023 --> 00:45:45,637
...soap poisoning.
564
00:45:52,249 --> 00:45:54,541
How could we do it?
565
00:45:54,836 --> 00:45:58,913
I'll... I'll manage to
get along, somehow.
566
00:45:58,956 --> 00:46:01,819
- I'll never forgive myself.
- Thanks, Mom.
567
00:46:01,854 --> 00:46:04,380
I told you not
to use this Lifebuoy.
568
00:46:04,930 --> 00:46:07,910
Oh, I feel awful!
569
00:46:32,295 --> 00:46:33,367
Thank you, Heather.
570
00:46:33,405 --> 00:46:35,193
- Merry Christmas.
- Merry Christmas.
571
00:46:35,794 --> 00:46:36,848
Thank you, Flick.
572
00:46:41,174 --> 00:46:43,459
- Merry Christmas, Miss Shields.
- Merry Chritmas.
573
00:47:03,138 --> 00:47:07,058
Well, I just thought that you'd be
getting tired of the same old stuff.
574
00:47:07,193 --> 00:47:10,833
<i>Yes, truly, a little
bribe never hurts.
575
00:47:10,930 --> 00:47:14,035
Well, thank you very much, Ralph.
576
00:47:18,460 --> 00:47:19,892
Merry Christmas.
577
00:47:22,974 --> 00:47:24,471
Happy New Year.
578
00:47:26,992 --> 00:47:29,253
You can take your seat now, Ralph.
579
00:47:52,607 --> 00:47:55,667
<i>The weeks of drinking gallons
of Ovaltine, in order to get...
580
00:47:55,677 --> 00:47:59,213
<i>...the Ovaltine inner seal to send off
for my Little Orphan Annie...
581
00:47:59,231 --> 00:48:03,508
<i>...secret decoder pen,
was about to pay off.
582
00:48:03,585 --> 00:48:06,285
I got it.
"Master Ralph Parker."
583
00:48:06,354 --> 00:48:07,762
My decoder pen!
584
00:48:12,607 --> 00:48:13,924
All right!
585
00:48:19,235 --> 00:48:22,237
"Be it known to all that Ralph
Parker is hereby appointed..."
586
00:48:22,238 --> 00:48:24,873
"...a member of the Little
Orphan Annie secret circle and..."
587
00:48:24,874 --> 00:48:28,020
"...is entitled to all the honors
and benefits occurring thereto."
588
00:48:28,411 --> 00:48:30,744
<i>Signed, Little Orphan Annie.
589
00:48:30,880 --> 00:48:33,393
<i>Countersigned, Pierre Andre!
590
00:48:33,516 --> 00:48:34,879
<i>In ink!
591
00:48:34,984 --> 00:48:37,985
<i>Honors and benefits.
Already at the age of nine.
592
00:48:44,546 --> 00:48:45,725
<i>Come on.
Let's get on with it.
593
00:48:45,796 --> 00:48:48,494
<i>I don't need all that jazz
about smugglers and pirates.
594
00:48:49,900 --> 00:48:54,098
<i>Listen tomorrow night for the
concluding adventure of The Black Pirate Ship.
595
00:48:54,533 --> 00:48:59,752
<i>Now it's time for Annie's secret message
for you members of the secret circle.
596
00:49:00,494 --> 00:49:04,121
<i>Remember, kids, only members
of Annie's secret circle...
597
00:49:04,214 --> 00:49:06,636
<i>...can decode Annie's
secret message.
598
00:49:06,730 --> 00:49:10,583
<i>Remember, Annie is
depending on you.
599
00:49:10,971 --> 00:49:13,219
<i>Set your pins to B-2.
600
00:49:13,524 --> 00:49:15,624
<i>Here is the message.
601
00:49:15,810 --> 00:49:17,234
<i>12... 11...
602
00:49:17,237 --> 00:49:20,612
<i>- I am in my first secret meeting.
- ...2... 3... 25...
603
00:49:20,866 --> 00:49:23,372
<i>...14... 11... 18...
604
00:49:23,668 --> 00:49:24,601
<i>...16...
605
00:49:24,604 --> 00:49:26,197
<i>- Pierre was in great voice tonight.
- ...23...
606
00:49:26,271 --> 00:49:29,557
<i>- I could tell that tonight's message was really
important.
- ...12... 33... 31...
607
00:49:29,560 --> 00:49:31,618
<i>...3... 25.
608
00:49:31,653 --> 00:49:35,021
<i>That's a message from Annie herself.
Remember, don't tell anyone.
609
00:49:39,585 --> 00:49:42,440
<i>Ninety seconds later,
I'm in the only room in the house...
610
00:49:42,443 --> 00:49:46,499
<i>...where a boy of nine can
sit in privacy and decode.
611
00:49:47,687 --> 00:49:51,565
<i>Oh! B.
I went to the next.
612
00:49:51,997 --> 00:49:54,986
<i>E.
The first word is "be"!
613
00:49:55,100 --> 00:49:58,603
<i>S. It was coming
easier now. U.
614
00:50:00,005 --> 00:50:01,299
<i>- Oh, that's R.
- Come on, Ralphie!
615
00:50:01,486 --> 00:50:03,218
<i>- I gotta go.
- Ralph!
616
00:50:03,275 --> 00:50:05,101
I'll be right down, Ma.
617
00:50:05,111 --> 00:50:06,448
<i>Gee whiz.
618
00:50:09,134 --> 00:50:12,093
T... O.
619
00:50:12,199 --> 00:50:14,494
<i>"Be sure to."
Be sure to what?
620
00:50:14,666 --> 00:50:16,557
<i>What was Little Orphan
Annie trying to say?
621
00:50:16,602 --> 00:50:17,723
<i>- Be sure to what?
- Ralphie!
622
00:50:17,806 --> 00:50:20,340
<i>Randy has got to go!
Will you please come out?
623
00:50:20,347 --> 00:50:23,086
All right, Ma!
I'll be right out!
624
00:50:23,763 --> 00:50:25,359
<i>I was getting closer now.
625
00:50:25,362 --> 00:50:28,310
<i>The tension was terrible.
What was it?
626
00:50:28,313 --> 00:50:30,568
<i>The fate of the planet
may hang in the balance.
627
00:50:31,138 --> 00:50:33,047
<i>Ralphie!
Randy's gotta go!
628
00:50:34,141 --> 00:50:36,972
I'll be right out,
for crying out loud!
629
00:50:37,478 --> 00:50:39,974
<i>Almost there!
My fingers flew.
630
00:50:39,981 --> 00:50:41,751
<i>My mind was a steel trap.
631
00:50:41,786 --> 00:50:43,595
<i>Every pore vibrated.
632
00:50:43,630 --> 00:50:45,387
<i>It was almost clear.
633
00:50:45,422 --> 00:50:48,209
<i>Yes! Yes!
Yes! Yes!
634
00:50:48,256 --> 00:50:53,013
<i>Be sure to drink
your Ovaltine.
635
00:50:53,807 --> 00:50:55,234
Ovaltine?
636
00:50:58,527 --> 00:51:00,514
A crummy commercial?
637
00:51:02,938 --> 00:51:04,831
Son of a bitch!
638
00:51:06,758 --> 00:51:09,074
<i>I went out to face
the world again.
639
00:51:09,344 --> 00:51:10,714
<i>Wiser.
640
00:51:23,830 --> 00:51:25,227
Red cabbage?
641
00:51:25,261 --> 00:51:28,265
No, that's for tomorrow night.
You love red cabbage, Ralphie.
642
00:51:30,267 --> 00:51:32,226
<i>You filthy system!
643
00:51:32,229 --> 00:51:33,276
<i>I hate it!
644
00:51:33,937 --> 00:51:36,745
<i>Schmucker!
Smelly watt-buster!
645
00:51:45,452 --> 00:51:50,264
<i>What happened next
was a family controversy for years.
646
00:52:06,670 --> 00:52:07,912
What was that?
What happened?
647
00:52:12,042 --> 00:52:13,251
What happened?
648
00:52:14,368 --> 00:52:15,677
What broke?
649
00:52:16,013 --> 00:52:20,450
I don't know what happened,
I was watering my plant and I...
650
00:52:21,453 --> 00:52:23,066
...broke your lamp.
651
00:52:38,270 --> 00:52:40,122
Don't you touch that!
652
00:52:41,095 --> 00:52:43,101
You were always
jealous of this lamp.
653
00:52:43,862 --> 00:52:46,654
- Jealous of a plastic leg?
- Jealous!
654
00:52:46,812 --> 00:52:49,178
Jealous, because I won.
655
00:52:50,850 --> 00:52:53,848
That's ridiculous! Jealous?
Jealous of what?
656
00:52:55,009 --> 00:52:56,213
That is...
657
00:52:56,281 --> 00:53:00,573
...the ugliest lamp I have
ever seen in my entire life!
658
00:53:00,576 --> 00:53:02,316
<i>Now it was out.
659
00:53:02,628 --> 00:53:04,401
Get the glue.
660
00:53:04,497 --> 00:53:07,133
We're out of glue.
661
00:53:09,068 --> 00:53:13,967
You used up
all the glue on purpose!
662
00:53:15,422 --> 00:53:20,579
<i>The old man stood quivering with fury stammering
as he tried to come up with a real crusher.
663
00:53:20,693 --> 00:53:21,828
<i>All he got out was:..
664
00:53:22,015 --> 00:53:23,492
Not a finger!
665
00:54:03,958 --> 00:54:06,236
<i>With as much dignity
as he could muster...
666
00:54:06,295 --> 00:54:11,147
<i>...the old man gathered up the sad
remains of his shattered major award.
667
00:54:12,367 --> 00:54:15,538
<i>Later that night,
alone in the backyard...
668
00:54:15,571 --> 00:54:17,807
<i>...he buried it next to the garage.
669
00:54:18,138 --> 00:54:19,772
<i>Now I could never be sure...
670
00:54:20,183 --> 00:54:23,933
<i>...but I thought that I heard
the sound of taps being played...
671
00:54:24,059 --> 00:54:25,499
<i>...gently.
672
00:54:25,714 --> 00:54:27,213
Know what I'm getting my old man
for Christmas?
673
00:54:27,216 --> 00:54:29,414
- No, what?
- A rose that squirts.
674
00:54:29,449 --> 00:54:31,540
People come to smell it,
it squirts them.
675
00:54:31,553 --> 00:54:35,148
- I'm getting my old man a Flit gun.
- A Flit gun?
676
00:54:38,395 --> 00:54:39,929
Stop right there!
677
00:54:39,964 --> 00:54:45,518
<i>Gee, ordinarily, if Dill so much as said
"hi" to you, you felt great warm inside.
678
00:54:45,680 --> 00:54:47,486
<i>But mostly he just
hit you in the mouth.
679
00:54:47,489 --> 00:54:50,855
I can't now, Grover.
I've gotta go see Miss Shields.
680
00:54:50,870 --> 00:54:52,338
- Yeah!
- Hey, come here!
681
00:54:52,428 --> 00:54:54,208
- Hey, you! Get over here!
- Come here back! Hey, come on, you!
682
00:54:54,404 --> 00:54:56,237
- Come on!
- Hey, come here!
683
00:54:56,279 --> 00:54:58,789
You!
Come here!
684
00:54:59,048 --> 00:54:59,867
Me?
685
00:54:59,962 --> 00:55:03,038
No, your Aunt Tilly.
Yeah, you. Get over here!
686
00:55:03,137 --> 00:55:05,983
<i>I left Flick to certain annihilation.
687
00:55:07,168 --> 00:55:09,648
<i>But BB gun mania
knows no loyalties.
688
00:55:10,345 --> 00:55:11,882
Uncle, uncle, uncle, uncle...
689
00:55:11,949 --> 00:55:14,344
Uncle! Uncle!
690
00:55:17,167 --> 00:55:18,394
All right, class.
691
00:55:18,536 --> 00:55:21,170
I have your Christmas
themes for you.
692
00:55:22,172 --> 00:55:23,479
I'm pleased.
693
00:55:24,141 --> 00:55:26,648
In general,
you did very well.
694
00:55:29,514 --> 00:55:34,031
However, I was disappointed
in the margins.
695
00:55:35,687 --> 00:55:36,792
<i>This is it.
696
00:55:38,557 --> 00:55:41,035
<i>C+?
Oh, no, it can't be.
697
00:55:41,193 --> 00:55:44,444
- C+?
- C+!
698
00:55:45,380 --> 00:55:47,636
C+!
699
00:55:52,671 --> 00:55:54,055
<i>Oh, no!
700
00:55:55,110 --> 00:55:57,131
<i>"You'll shoot your eye out?"
701
00:55:58,038 --> 00:55:59,077
No! No!
702
00:55:59,078 --> 00:56:01,157
<i>My mother must have
gotten to Miss Shields.
703
00:56:01,213 --> 00:56:02,985
<i>There could be
no other explanation.
704
00:56:03,108 --> 00:56:06,910
- You'll shoot your eye out. You'll shoot your eye out.
- You'll shoot your eye out. You'll shoot your eye out.
705
00:56:09,789 --> 00:56:13,500
<i>Was there no end to this
conspiracy of irrational prejudice...
706
00:56:13,551 --> 00:56:16,180
<i>...against Red Ryder
and his peacemaker?
707
00:56:16,195 --> 00:56:20,293
<i>These multiplication questions
were most missed in our last math test.
708
00:56:20,399 --> 00:56:22,218
<i>Would you answer
in unison, please?
709
00:56:22,369 --> 00:56:27,045
<i>I was surrounded by happier kids who were
all going to get what they wanted for Christmas.
710
00:56:27,371 --> 00:56:29,150
<i>...fifty-six.
711
00:56:59,345 --> 00:57:00,670
<i>Hey, four-eyes!
712
00:57:00,708 --> 00:57:03,099
How'd you like your
snowball sandwich?
713
00:57:04,065 --> 00:57:06,030
<i>Maybe you'd like another one!
714
00:57:11,486 --> 00:57:12,730
Listen, jerk.
715
00:57:12,815 --> 00:57:16,097
When I tell you to come,
you better come!
716
00:57:17,187 --> 00:57:19,704
What?
Are you gonna cry now?
717
00:57:19,849 --> 00:57:23,734
Come on, cry baby, cry for me.
Come on.
718
00:57:23,999 --> 00:57:25,268
Cry!
719
00:57:25,668 --> 00:57:30,905
<i>Deep in the recesses of my brain
a tiny red-hot little flame began to grow.
720
00:57:43,677 --> 00:57:44,738
Hey!
721
00:57:44,773 --> 00:57:46,047
<i>Something had happened.
722
00:57:46,120 --> 00:57:49,893
<i>A fuse blew and I had
gone out of my skull.
723
00:57:51,911 --> 00:57:52,955
Hey!
724
00:57:53,359 --> 00:57:54,221
Hey!
725
00:57:59,135 --> 00:58:01,169
I'm telling my dad!
726
00:58:02,972 --> 00:58:04,771
Hey, Ralphie!
727
00:58:11,916 --> 00:58:13,832
Beat him up!
Beat him up!
728
00:58:28,705 --> 00:58:30,644
Did you hear what he said?
729
00:58:32,711 --> 00:58:35,017
Oh, he spokes.
730
00:58:35,942 --> 00:58:41,817
<i>I have since heard of people under
extreme duress speaking in strange tongues.
731
00:58:41,913 --> 00:58:49,531
<i>I became conscious that a steady torrent of obscenities
and swearing of all kinds was pouring out of me as I screamed.
732
00:58:51,922 --> 00:58:55,021
Ralphie! Your mother.
Your mother.
733
00:58:58,597 --> 00:58:59,653
Ralphie!
734
00:58:59,732 --> 00:59:01,948
Ralphie, Ralphie!
Ralphie!
735
00:59:02,421 --> 00:59:03,579
Ralphie!
736
00:59:04,861 --> 00:59:06,765
Ralphie!
737
00:59:07,114 --> 00:59:08,326
Ralphie!
738
00:59:08,414 --> 00:59:09,680
Ralphie!
739
00:59:10,396 --> 00:59:12,094
Ralphie?
740
00:59:15,834 --> 00:59:19,111
Come on. We're going home.
Come on.
741
00:59:33,898 --> 00:59:35,313
So, come on.
742
00:59:38,157 --> 00:59:41,280
Calm down.
Come on in.
743
00:59:44,295 --> 00:59:45,366
Okay.
744
00:59:45,636 --> 00:59:47,289
Put your head down in here.
745
00:59:47,774 --> 00:59:49,388
Come on,
get down in here.
746
00:59:50,751 --> 00:59:52,180
Settle down.
747
00:59:54,928 --> 00:59:58,613
I want you to go in there
and lie down in your room for a while.
748
00:59:59,698 --> 01:00:01,657
Ralphie, just settle down.
749
01:00:05,523 --> 01:00:06,698
Dry off.
750
01:00:07,002 --> 01:00:08,438
All right, calm down.
751
01:00:09,546 --> 01:00:11,524
All right.
Now go lie down.
752
01:00:31,816 --> 01:00:34,154
<i>The light was getting purple
and soft outside.
753
01:00:34,533 --> 01:00:37,428
<i>Almost time for my father
to come home from work.
754
01:00:52,511 --> 01:00:54,299
Randy!
755
01:00:55,015 --> 01:00:56,204
Hi!
756
01:00:57,520 --> 01:00:59,758
What's the matter?
What you crying for?
757
01:01:00,273 --> 01:01:02,911
Daddy's going to kill Ralphie.
758
01:01:03,358 --> 01:01:04,793
No, he's not.
759
01:01:04,899 --> 01:01:07,926
- Yes, he is, too.
- No, he's not.
760
01:01:07,968 --> 01:01:12,342
I promise you
Daddy is not going to kill Ralphie.
761
01:01:13,039 --> 01:01:14,644
Why don't you come on
out of there?
762
01:01:18,191 --> 01:01:19,674
Would you like some milk?
763
01:01:21,353 --> 01:01:22,564
You would?
764
01:01:29,594 --> 01:01:30,785
Here you go.
765
01:01:32,127 --> 01:01:33,452
All right?
766
01:01:33,847 --> 01:01:37,072
I'll see you later?
Okay. Bye-bye.
767
01:01:48,891 --> 01:01:52,728
<i>I heard the car roar up the driveway,
and a wave of terror broke over me.
768
01:01:52,856 --> 01:01:55,891
<i>He'll know what I said,
the awful things that I said.
769
01:01:56,030 --> 01:01:58,542
Get... Get... Get out of here! Go on.
Get... Get... Get out of here!
770
01:01:58,577 --> 01:02:02,075
Go on home, you mangy mutts.
Get out of here, you rotten, filthy...
771
01:02:02,110 --> 01:02:02,882
Hey, Bumpus!
772
01:02:02,904 --> 01:02:05,176
Get over here and
get your stinking dogs!
773
01:02:06,494 --> 01:02:08,834
<i>Hey, come on, what's for dinner?
I'm starving to death.
774
01:02:29,513 --> 01:02:31,846
Well, what happened today?
775
01:02:32,739 --> 01:02:34,037
Where's your glasses?
776
01:02:35,571 --> 01:02:37,352
<i>Did you lose your
glasses again?
777
01:02:37,530 --> 01:02:38,621
Ralphie.
778
01:02:38,805 --> 01:02:45,067
Remember, you left these on the radio
again. Now try not to do that anymore.
779
01:02:46,100 --> 01:02:47,789
Yeah, so what else
happened today?
780
01:02:49,082 --> 01:02:50,575
<i>Nothing much.
Uh...
781
01:02:50,816 --> 01:02:52,398
<i>Ralphie had a fight.
782
01:02:52,795 --> 01:02:53,862
<i>A fight?
783
01:02:54,080 --> 01:02:55,345
<i>What kind of a fight?
784
01:02:57,569 --> 01:03:00,017
You know how boys are.
785
01:03:01,254 --> 01:03:03,144
I gave him a talking to.
786
01:03:04,532 --> 01:03:07,786
I see that the Bears
are playing Green Bay on Sunday.
787
01:03:09,691 --> 01:03:10,553
Oh, yeah, yeah.
788
01:03:10,592 --> 01:03:12,744
Zudock's got tickets.
I wish I had.
789
01:03:13,073 --> 01:03:15,180
He'll freeze his keister
off out there.
790
01:03:18,139 --> 01:03:21,620
<i>I slowly began to realize
I was not about to be destroyed.
791
01:03:21,951 --> 01:03:23,590
<i>The Chicago Bears.
792
01:03:24,052 --> 01:03:26,094
<i>The terror of the midway...
793
01:03:26,611 --> 01:03:30,180
<i>From then on, things were different
between me and my mother.
794
01:03:32,445 --> 01:03:35,511
<i>More like the Chicago
Chipmunks, maybe.
795
01:03:35,512 --> 01:03:37,286
<i>...but Bears, never.
796
01:03:38,637 --> 01:03:39,789
<i>Strange.
797
01:03:39,886 --> 01:03:43,619
<i>Even something as monumental
as "The Scut Farkus Affair"...
798
01:03:43,852 --> 01:03:45,283
<i>...as it came to be known...</i>
799
01:03:45,511 --> 01:03:48,298
<i>...was pushed out of my mind
as I struggled for a way out...
800
01:03:48,333 --> 01:03:53,025
<i>...of the impenetrable BB gun web
in which my mother had me trapped.
801
01:03:53,295 --> 01:03:54,635
Santa!
802
01:03:55,313 --> 01:03:57,215
Yeah, I'll ask Santa.
803
01:03:57,741 --> 01:03:59,557
<i>Of course!
Santa.
804
01:03:59,776 --> 01:04:01,860
<i>The big man.
The head honcho.
805
01:04:02,036 --> 01:04:03,338
<i>The connection.
806
01:04:03,608 --> 01:04:05,605
<i>My mother had slipped up this time.
807
01:04:28,139 --> 01:04:30,221
Mickey! Mickey!
808
01:04:46,998 --> 01:04:49,613
Mom, the store's going to close soon
and Santa's gonna be gone.
809
01:04:49,648 --> 01:04:53,458
Ralphie, Santa's not going anyplace.
Just be still!
810
01:05:03,254 --> 01:05:05,724
Mom, this is just the same old
dumb parade as last year.
811
01:05:05,725 --> 01:05:09,001
- Ralphie, will you please calm down?
- Mom...
812
01:05:09,002 --> 01:05:11,147
- Hush!
- Shut up, Ralphie!
813
01:05:20,527 --> 01:05:23,563
- There he is!
- Yes! Yes!
814
01:05:29,424 --> 01:05:30,869
Santa!
815
01:05:30,870 --> 01:05:33,367
Have you been a good boy?
Have you?
816
01:05:33,550 --> 01:05:36,559
- Can we go now? Can we go?
- Yes, we can go now.
817
01:05:36,562 --> 01:05:37,957
Come on, Ralphie.
818
01:05:50,519 --> 01:05:54,095
Merry Christmas!
Merry Christmas!
819
01:05:55,244 --> 01:05:57,047
Come on, Randy, hurry up.
820
01:06:10,819 --> 01:06:12,934
Ralphie, look over there.
821
01:06:12,969 --> 01:06:14,776
See, the line's not so long.
822
01:06:14,855 --> 01:06:16,049
- Yeah.
- Get in it.
823
01:06:16,124 --> 01:06:18,851
Now, take Randy's hand and hold on to him.
We'll see you later, okay?
824
01:06:18,920 --> 01:06:21,434
Yeah, yeah, stay together,
you hear? And don't get lost.
825
01:06:25,769 --> 01:06:26,907
Come on.
826
01:06:26,908 --> 01:06:28,165
Let's go.
827
01:06:31,387 --> 01:06:32,652
<i>Young man.
828
01:06:33,188 --> 01:06:34,482
<i>Hey, kid.
829
01:06:34,711 --> 01:06:38,064
- Just where do you think you're going?
- We're going up to see Santa.
830
01:06:38,974 --> 01:06:42,287
The line ends here.
It begins there.
831
01:06:42,322 --> 01:06:44,187
<i>Merry Christmas!
832
01:06:44,269 --> 01:06:47,207
<i>Come on, come up,
boys and girls. Hurry up.
833
01:06:50,258 --> 01:06:51,743
Oh, no.
834
01:06:53,250 --> 01:06:54,351
Come on.
835
01:06:58,572 --> 01:07:03,008
<i>The line waiting to see Santa Claus
stretched all the way back to Terre Haute.
836
01:07:04,111 --> 01:07:06,053
<i>And I was at the end of it.
837
01:07:08,370 --> 01:07:09,839
I like Santa.
838
01:07:10,935 --> 01:07:12,275
Yeah.
839
01:07:14,779 --> 01:07:16,909
<i>Let's face it.
Most of us were scoffers...
840
01:07:16,956 --> 01:07:21,798
<i>...and moments before zero hour,
it did not pay to take chances.
841
01:07:23,019 --> 01:07:27,212
The chocolate snowman
eats little boys.
842
01:07:28,359 --> 01:07:30,579
Little my pretty...
843
01:07:30,614 --> 01:07:33,994
What a tasty little boy.
844
01:07:34,029 --> 01:07:37,027
Don't bother me.
I'm... uh... I'm thinking.
845
01:07:41,340 --> 01:07:43,881
I like the Wizard of Oz.
846
01:07:44,590 --> 01:07:45,728
Yeah.
847
01:07:46,726 --> 01:07:48,919
I like the Tin Man.
848
01:07:52,865 --> 01:07:56,506
If Higbee thinks I'm working one minute
past 9:00, he can kiss my foot.
849
01:07:58,578 --> 01:08:00,548
Come on up on Santa's lap.
850
01:08:00,658 --> 01:08:05,096
There's a wet one.
And what's your name, little boy?
851
01:08:06,365 --> 01:08:07,750
Come on, Randy.
852
01:08:09,286 --> 01:08:12,571
And what do you want
for Christmas, Billy? A toy truck?
853
01:08:12,606 --> 01:08:15,754
Get him off my lap.
Quick, get me a towel.
854
01:08:15,755 --> 01:08:17,488
Bye, Billy.
855
01:08:23,949 --> 01:08:26,085
I hate the smell of tapioca.
856
01:08:27,599 --> 01:08:31,489
<i>Attention, shoppers! It is now 9:00
and our store is closing.
857
01:08:31,713 --> 01:08:34,876
<i>9:00! Great Scott!
The store is gonna close!
858
01:08:35,495 --> 01:08:38,089
<i>Santa can't wait all night.
859
01:08:38,719 --> 01:08:40,758
Come on up on Santa's lap.
860
01:08:50,243 --> 01:08:51,888
Get moving, kid.
861
01:08:53,165 --> 01:08:54,885
Quit dragging your feet.
862
01:08:55,939 --> 01:08:57,122
Come on.
863
01:09:07,962 --> 01:09:09,340
<i>Get him out of here.
864
01:09:20,223 --> 01:09:21,659
Come on, kid.
865
01:09:24,967 --> 01:09:26,350
Come on.
866
01:09:27,751 --> 01:09:29,740
Come on up.
Come on up.
867
01:09:40,896 --> 01:09:44,159
And what's your name, little boy?
868
01:09:44,449 --> 01:09:48,421
Hey, kid, hurry up,
the store's closing!
869
01:09:48,980 --> 01:09:50,171
Come on.
870
01:09:51,043 --> 01:09:54,924
Listen, little boy, we got a lot of
people waiting here, so get going!
871
01:09:57,891 --> 01:10:01,221
What do you want for Christmas,
little boy?
872
01:10:01,829 --> 01:10:03,442
<i>My mind had gone blank.
873
01:10:03,453 --> 01:10:05,887
<i>Frantically I tried to remember
what it was I wanted.
874
01:10:05,922 --> 01:10:07,908
<i>I was blowing it, blowing it.
875
01:10:08,046 --> 01:10:09,895
Come on, kid.
876
01:10:10,352 --> 01:10:13,519
How about a nice football?
877
01:10:13,562 --> 01:10:16,566
<i>Football. Football.
What's a football?
878
01:10:17,303 --> 01:10:20,628
<i>Without conscious will,
my voice squeaked out: Football.
879
01:10:21,071 --> 01:10:23,012
Okay, get him out of here.
880
01:10:23,514 --> 01:10:26,729
<i>A football! Oh, no.
What was I doing?
881
01:10:26,764 --> 01:10:29,284
<i>Wake up, stupid, wake up!
882
01:10:29,285 --> 01:10:30,375
<i>- No!</i>
- No!
883
01:10:37,287 --> 01:10:41,560
No, I want an official Red Ryder
carbine-action 200-shot range model air rifle.
884
01:10:43,431 --> 01:10:45,235
You'll shoot your eye out, kid.
885
01:10:46,823 --> 01:10:48,493
<i>Merry Christmas.
886
01:10:51,727 --> 01:10:55,978
No!
887
01:11:03,301 --> 01:11:06,441
There they are!
I'll see you in Oz, folks.
888
01:11:11,047 --> 01:11:14,310
Well... did you... uh... Up!
889
01:11:14,948 --> 01:11:17,270
- Did you see Santa Claus?
- Yeah.
890
01:11:17,273 --> 01:11:18,992
Did you tell him
what you wanted for Christmas?
891
01:11:19,272 --> 01:11:19,915
Yeah.
892
01:11:19,917 --> 01:11:22,960
Did he ask you if you'd been
a good boy all year?
893
01:11:23,908 --> 01:11:25,143
No.
894
01:11:25,398 --> 01:11:28,115
Don't worry, he knows.
895
01:11:28,173 --> 01:11:30,620
He always knows.
896
01:11:32,597 --> 01:11:34,810
Merry Christmas.
897
01:11:36,437 --> 01:11:38,691
Okay, down you go.
898
01:11:38,726 --> 01:11:40,152
Bye bye, Chris.
899
01:11:40,416 --> 01:11:43,432
Merry Christmas.
900
01:11:50,308 --> 01:11:52,461
That's fine.
901
01:11:53,266 --> 01:11:55,910
Now wait a minute.
All right. Plug her in!
902
01:11:56,054 --> 01:11:57,357
It is.
It is.
903
01:11:57,854 --> 01:11:59,484
Well, the green string is out.
904
01:11:59,519 --> 01:12:01,961
No, the green is on.
It's the blue that's out.
905
01:12:02,079 --> 01:12:04,202
Oh, don't tell me
what color it is.
906
01:12:04,334 --> 01:12:05,647
I'm not color blind.
907
01:12:06,377 --> 01:12:08,262
I'm not color blind, either.
908
01:12:10,270 --> 01:12:13,034
There, see,
I told you it was green.
909
01:12:15,462 --> 01:12:18,209
<i>Hold it!
Don't anybody move!
910
01:12:19,026 --> 01:12:20,507
<i>Hold it right there!
911
01:12:21,078 --> 01:12:22,775
<i>A fuse is out.
912
01:12:23,461 --> 01:12:27,170
<i>The old man could replace fuses
quicker than a jackrabbit on a date.
913
01:12:27,205 --> 01:12:28,816
<i>He bought them by the gross.
914
01:12:34,679 --> 01:12:36,102
Oh, Ralph.
915
01:12:36,658 --> 01:12:38,788
My, isn't that pretty?
916
01:12:38,814 --> 01:12:40,541
That son of a gun.
917
01:12:42,518 --> 01:12:45,685
Yeah. No.
That star is crooked.
918
01:12:45,720 --> 01:12:47,777
That star is perfectly straight.
919
01:12:50,542 --> 01:12:52,185
- Oh, you've got to be careful.
- I am, I am.
920
01:12:52,281 --> 01:12:58,001
It's just... Let me get it fixed.
That's all right.
921
01:13:00,242 --> 01:13:01,650
- Yes.
- Yes.
922
01:13:02,937 --> 01:13:05,060
There. Perfect.
923
01:13:08,955 --> 01:13:10,607
Oh, goodness,
look at the time.
924
01:13:10,769 --> 01:13:12,657
I hope Santa hasn't had to pass up
this house...
925
01:13:12,658 --> 01:13:16,039
...just because some boys
weren't in bed when he came by.
926
01:13:16,074 --> 01:13:21,026
Yeah, I thought I heard Santa's sleigh bells a little
while ago, going up the other side of the street.
927
01:13:22,211 --> 01:13:24,315
- All right, you two, upstairs.
- Come on, come on.
928
01:13:24,684 --> 01:13:26,989
Come on, on the double,
on the double.
929
01:13:38,337 --> 01:13:39,750
Okay, let's get them.
930
01:14:11,458 --> 01:14:13,032
Wow!
931
01:14:18,817 --> 01:14:20,787
Wow!
932
01:14:41,871 --> 01:14:45,048
Randy! Randy, come on!
Get up, Randy!
933
01:14:55,883 --> 01:14:57,650
<i>Santa Claus had come!
934
01:15:01,341 --> 01:15:03,915
Wow! A truck!
That's mine!
935
01:15:04,248 --> 01:15:06,290
Wow, look over here!
That's mine!
936
01:15:06,448 --> 01:15:07,661
What's in here?
937
01:15:08,316 --> 01:15:09,507
Oh, it's hard.
938
01:15:09,779 --> 01:15:12,330
Fire truck.
Oh, boy, that's mine!
939
01:15:15,660 --> 01:15:17,147
Hey!
940
01:15:21,878 --> 01:15:23,613
Does this raise?
941
01:15:38,330 --> 01:15:39,929
Merry Christmas.
942
01:15:40,922 --> 01:15:43,200
- Merry Christmas, you two.
- Merry Christmas.
943
01:15:44,397 --> 01:15:47,212
Oh, Randy, no.
Wait for Christmas to start, honey.
944
01:15:47,347 --> 01:15:50,425
- I want to play Santa!
- Well, wait a minute, Randy.
945
01:15:50,428 --> 01:15:52,747
You played Santa...
He played Santa last year, didn't he?
946
01:15:52,782 --> 01:15:54,853
- Yeah.
- Ralphie, you play Santa this time.
947
01:15:55,151 --> 01:15:56,945
- Come on, Ralphie.
- Well, who should I start with?
948
01:15:57,283 --> 01:15:59,732
- Well, give Randy a present.
- Yeah.
949
01:15:59,733 --> 01:16:00,696
- And... um...
- Yeah.
950
01:16:00,716 --> 01:16:03,953
And I think I see Aunt Clara's
gift to you right over there.
951
01:16:03,959 --> 01:16:06,761
She always sends you
such wonderful presents, Ralphie.
952
01:16:06,764 --> 01:16:09,548
Give me mine, Ralphie!
Come on. Come on, Ralphie.
953
01:16:26,324 --> 01:16:31,030
<i>Christmas had come. Officially.
We plunged into the cornucopia...
954
01:16:31,065 --> 01:16:34,890
<i>...quivering with desire and the
ecstasy of unbridled avarice.
955
01:16:34,985 --> 01:16:36,286
Didn't I get a tie this year?
956
01:16:40,708 --> 01:16:43,045
Wow! Whoopie!
957
01:16:43,050 --> 01:16:47,325
- A zeppelin!
- A can of Simonize.
958
01:16:47,640 --> 01:16:50,385
Ralphie, what did Aunt Clara give you?
Show everybody.
959
01:16:55,998 --> 01:16:57,001
I don't want to.
960
01:16:57,439 --> 01:16:59,974
Ralphie, show everybody
what Aunt Clara gave you.
961
01:16:59,992 --> 01:17:03,722
<i>Yeah, Aunt Clara had for years
labored under the delusion...
962
01:17:03,723 --> 01:17:08,213
<i>...that I was not only perpetually
four years old, but also a girl.
963
01:17:08,760 --> 01:17:12,566
She just always gives you
the nicest things, Ralphie.
964
01:17:14,980 --> 01:17:20,064
Oh, my God.
Oh, isn't that sweet?
965
01:17:20,279 --> 01:17:23,042
- Ralph, go upstairs and try it on you...
- I don't want to!
966
01:17:23,250 --> 01:17:25,741
Go upstairs right now
and try on that present!
967
01:17:25,748 --> 01:17:28,322
She went to all that trouble
to make it! Now go on.
968
01:17:36,836 --> 01:17:40,868
While Ralphie is changing,
I'm going to play Santa Claus.
969
01:17:41,073 --> 01:17:46,603
Now, let me see what can I find.
I see something! Randy.
970
01:17:46,749 --> 01:17:48,155
This is for you, honey.
971
01:17:48,888 --> 01:17:51,433
Oh, and this is
for Daddy.
972
01:17:54,199 --> 01:17:56,424
Here.
From me to you.
973
01:17:59,051 --> 01:18:00,403
Thanks a lot.
974
01:18:01,872 --> 01:18:03,544
I wonder what it could be?
975
01:18:05,060 --> 01:18:07,129
Only one way to find out,
isn't there?
976
01:18:07,797 --> 01:18:09,934
Well, it's a blue ball!
977
01:18:10,757 --> 01:18:14,189
Oh, it's a bowling ball.
978
01:18:14,424 --> 01:18:15,985
- Thank you, darling.
- Do you like it?
979
01:18:16,096 --> 01:18:19,272
Yes, very much.
Very much.
980
01:18:19,614 --> 01:18:22,354
Ralphie!
We're waiting.
981
01:18:23,017 --> 01:18:24,699
Oh, come on, Mom.
982
01:18:25,051 --> 01:18:26,428
Right now!
983
01:18:36,742 --> 01:18:40,341
<i>Immediately my feet began to sweat
as those two fluffy little bunnies...
984
01:18:40,342 --> 01:18:43,806
<i>...with the blue button eyes
stared sappily up at me.
985
01:18:44,609 --> 01:18:47,316
Come down here
so I can see you better.
986
01:18:48,098 --> 01:18:50,008
<i>I just hoped Flick
would never spot them...
987
01:18:50,043 --> 01:18:55,814
<i>...as the word of this humiliation could easily make
life at Warren G. Harding School a veritable hell.
988
01:18:58,140 --> 01:19:02,877
Isn't that cute? That is the most
precious thing I've ever seen in my life.
989
01:19:04,666 --> 01:19:06,023
Shut up, Randy.
990
01:19:06,182 --> 01:19:08,497
He looks like a deranged
Easter bunny.
991
01:19:10,052 --> 01:19:11,998
- He does not!
- He does, too.
992
01:19:11,999 --> 01:19:14,166
He looks like a pink nightmare.
993
01:19:14,290 --> 01:19:15,942
Are you happy wearing that?
994
01:19:16,726 --> 01:19:18,012
Do you want to take it off?
995
01:19:18,128 --> 01:19:19,324
You tell the kid to take it off.
996
01:19:19,325 --> 01:19:22,364
All right, you'll only wear it when
Aunt Clara visits. Go on and take it off.
997
01:19:22,365 --> 01:19:23,639
Take it off!
998
01:19:27,637 --> 01:19:29,727
<i>My God, will you
look at that mess?
999
01:19:29,940 --> 01:19:32,451
<i>- Who's going to clean the papers up?
- Not me.
1000
01:19:32,716 --> 01:19:33,752
<i>- Oh, no?
- No.
1001
01:19:33,762 --> 01:19:36,423
<i>- Randy did it last year.
- Well, he can do it again.
1002
01:19:38,682 --> 01:19:41,684
<i>You know, this wine is not bad.
It's not good either, but...
1003
01:19:41,690 --> 01:19:44,313
- You want a sip?
- No, you don't.
1004
01:19:45,490 --> 01:19:47,067
Did you have a nice Christmas?
1005
01:19:47,525 --> 01:19:48,592
- Yeah, pretty nice.
- Good.
1006
01:19:48,593 --> 01:19:50,010
Did you get everything
you wanted?
1007
01:19:51,012 --> 01:19:53,774
- Well, almost.
- Almost, huh?
1008
01:19:53,798 --> 01:19:55,948
Well, that... that's...
that's life.
1009
01:19:56,100 --> 01:19:58,123
Well, there's always
next Christmas.
1010
01:19:58,263 --> 01:19:59,384
Yeah.
1011
01:20:00,229 --> 01:20:02,801
Hey, that's funny.
1012
01:20:03,207 --> 01:20:05,201
What's that over there
behind the desk?
1013
01:20:06,143 --> 01:20:07,061
Where?
1014
01:20:07,144 --> 01:20:09,256
Oh, behind the desk,
against the wall over there.
1015
01:20:11,817 --> 01:20:13,319
Why don't you go check it out?
1016
01:20:13,956 --> 01:20:15,238
Come on.
1017
01:20:29,935 --> 01:20:31,332
What did we put
over there, honey?
1018
01:20:32,526 --> 01:20:34,328
Santa Claus probably put it.
1019
01:21:11,791 --> 01:21:15,163
<i>Oh, it was beautiful.
I could hardly wait to try it out.
1020
01:21:16,283 --> 01:21:17,438
Do you know how to load it?
1021
01:21:17,791 --> 01:21:19,079
- Yeah.
- Yeah?
1022
01:21:21,388 --> 01:21:22,394
That's right.
1023
01:21:30,331 --> 01:21:31,477
Care... Careful.
1024
01:21:32,033 --> 01:21:33,231
They run all over.
1025
01:21:39,924 --> 01:21:41,383
Close her up.
Close it up.
1026
01:21:42,310 --> 01:21:44,347
Can I... Can I try it out, Ma?
Can I?
1027
01:21:45,113 --> 01:21:46,809
- Sure.
- Okay.
1028
01:21:47,048 --> 01:21:48,002
But outside.
1029
01:21:48,083 --> 01:21:50,346
Oh, I still say those
things are dangerous.
1030
01:21:50,948 --> 01:21:54,223
No, no. Put on your galoshes
and your coat. It's cold out.
1031
01:21:57,728 --> 01:22:00,754
I had one when
I was eight years old.
1032
01:22:01,230 --> 01:22:03,991
What if he hurts himself?
Ralphie, your coat!
1033
01:22:05,067 --> 01:22:09,039
- Don't shoot any animals or birds!
- Except the Bumpuses' dogs!
1034
01:22:09,045 --> 01:22:12,585
Oh, yeah.
Be careful, Ralphie!
1035
01:22:13,242 --> 01:22:18,423
<i>Now it is well known throughout the
Midwest that the old man is a turkey junkie.
1036
01:22:18,948 --> 01:22:23,608
<i>A bona fide garley turkicanus freak.
A few days before Christmas...
1037
01:22:23,609 --> 01:22:27,241
<i>...his eyes would begin to gleam
with a wild and ravenous light.
1038
01:22:31,561 --> 01:22:36,823
Okay, Black Bart,
now you get yours.
1039
01:22:49,846 --> 01:22:51,881
<i>Oh, my God!
I shot my eye out!
1040
01:22:51,949 --> 01:22:53,657
<i>You'll shoot your eye out, kid.
1041
01:22:53,717 --> 01:22:59,112
<i>You'll shoot your eye out,
you'll shoot your eye out!
1042
01:22:59,290 --> 01:23:02,387
Ralphie, you be careful out there.
Don't shoot your eye out!
1043
01:23:02,388 --> 01:23:04,890
<i>She hadn't seen!
She didn't know!
1044
01:23:05,149 --> 01:23:07,857
<i>My eye's all right.
The BB must've hit my glasses.
1045
01:23:09,267 --> 01:23:12,470
<i>My glasses! Oh, no!
Where are my glasses?
1046
01:23:14,376 --> 01:23:19,076
<i>Few things brought such swift and terrible
retribution on a kid as a pair of busted glasses!
1047
01:23:24,416 --> 01:23:25,633
Stop!
1048
01:23:38,178 --> 01:23:39,845
Oh, no!
1049
01:23:41,933 --> 01:23:44,633
<i>Oh, no!
Pulverized.
1050
01:23:50,744 --> 01:23:52,402
Oh, no!
1051
01:23:56,118 --> 01:24:00,245
<i>For a moment, I thought I'll fake it.
They'll never know the lens is gone!
1052
01:24:01,400 --> 01:24:02,921
Oh, no!
1053
01:24:02,922 --> 01:24:05,875
<i>Randomly, my mind
evolved a spectacular plot.
1054
01:24:05,958 --> 01:24:08,532
<i>Let's see... uh...
an icicle! Yeah!
1055
01:24:08,567 --> 01:24:11,066
<i>Falls off the garage
and hits me in the eye!
1056
01:24:11,165 --> 01:24:15,585
<i>It would work. It had to work.
Quickly, I whipped up some tears.
1057
01:24:15,710 --> 01:24:17,004
Ralphie?
1058
01:24:21,730 --> 01:24:24,461
What's the matter, honey?
Oh, what happened?
1059
01:24:24,542 --> 01:24:25,606
What is it? Let me see that.
Let me see that.
1060
01:24:25,679 --> 01:24:29,809
There was this icicle and it
fell off the garage and it hit me.
1061
01:24:33,970 --> 01:24:37,069
- What?
- No, it's okay. Just read your funnies.
1062
01:24:37,635 --> 01:24:39,002
All right.
1063
01:24:39,534 --> 01:24:40,865
Randy?
1064
01:24:41,229 --> 01:24:42,777
Wake up, Randy.
1065
01:24:47,102 --> 01:24:48,933
Oh, God.
1066
01:24:49,004 --> 01:24:52,298
It hit my cheek and
it broke my glasses.
1067
01:24:52,674 --> 01:24:56,677
And I tried to get out
of the way, but I...
1068
01:24:57,413 --> 01:25:00,808
There. Oh, see, it's
just a little bump.
1069
01:25:00,809 --> 01:25:02,285
Ralphie!
1070
01:25:02,682 --> 01:25:04,318
You're lucky it didn't
cut your eye.
1071
01:25:04,319 --> 01:25:06,911
Those icicles have been known
to kill people.
1072
01:25:12,752 --> 01:25:16,423
- What's going on up there?
<i>- Nothing. We'll be right down.
1073
01:25:16,458 --> 01:25:19,061
<i>You stay away from that turkey!
It's got an hour to cook.
1074
01:25:19,168 --> 01:25:20,570
<i>You'll get worms!
1075
01:25:25,639 --> 01:25:27,231
But what about my glasses?
1076
01:25:27,576 --> 01:25:31,253
Well, you can wear the old ones with the crack
in them until we get you some new ones.
1077
01:25:31,254 --> 01:25:32,678
Okay.
1078
01:25:34,693 --> 01:25:36,695
<i>I had pulled it off!
1079
01:25:37,954 --> 01:25:39,824
But I left my gun outside.
1080
01:25:39,906 --> 01:25:44,076
Yeah, well, when you get dressed
you can go out and get your gun.
1081
01:25:44,194 --> 01:25:45,670
- Okay.
- Hold that on there.
1082
01:25:46,062 --> 01:25:48,081
<i>Oh, life is like that.
1083
01:25:48,103 --> 01:25:53,068
<i>Sometimes at the height of our reveries,
when our joy is at its zenith...
1084
01:25:53,223 --> 01:25:55,859
<i>...when all is most right
with the world...
1085
01:25:56,252 --> 01:26:00,139
<i>...the most unthinkable disasters
descend upon us.
1086
01:26:14,792 --> 01:26:16,004
Oh, turkey!
1087
01:26:24,102 --> 01:26:25,545
You sons of...
1088
01:26:31,356 --> 01:26:35,256
Sons a bitches!
Bumpuses!
1089
01:26:49,828 --> 01:26:53,424
<i>The heavenly aroma still hung heavy
in the house. But it was gone.
1090
01:26:53,566 --> 01:26:56,851
<i>All gone. No turkey.
No turkey sandwiches.
1091
01:26:56,906 --> 01:27:00,949
<i>No turkey salad. No turkey gravy,
turkey hash, turkey а la king...
1092
01:27:00,984 --> 01:27:02,530
<i>...or gallons of turkey soup.
1093
01:27:02,531 --> 01:27:04,493
<i>Gone.
All gone.
1094
01:27:08,820 --> 01:27:10,097
All right.
1095
01:27:10,098 --> 01:27:12,851
Everybody upstairs.
Get dressed.
1096
01:27:14,872 --> 01:27:16,635
We are going out to eat.
1097
01:27:37,543 --> 01:27:42,072
No, no, no, no, no, no, no.
No, no, no, no, no.
1098
01:27:42,085 --> 01:27:45,482
Not, "ra, ra, ra, ra, ra".
"La, la, la, la, la."
1099
01:27:45,619 --> 01:27:46,760
Sing like this...
1100
01:27:54,863 --> 01:27:56,441
Try again.
1101
01:28:06,374 --> 01:28:08,307
Stop! Stop! Stop!
Stop! Stop! Stop! Stop!
1102
01:28:08,343 --> 01:28:09,711
Sing something else.
1103
01:28:23,693 --> 01:28:26,127
No! No! No!
Stop! Stop! Stop! Stop!
1104
01:28:26,844 --> 01:28:29,107
Kitchen. Bring food.
For customers.
1105
01:28:38,207 --> 01:28:39,724
Oh, I'm sorry.
1106
01:28:39,725 --> 01:28:41,879
Oh... yes.
1107
01:28:42,379 --> 01:28:46,525
It's a beautiful duck.
Yes, it really is. It's... uh...
1108
01:28:46,917 --> 01:28:48,318
But you see...
1109
01:28:51,197 --> 01:28:54,734
- What?
- It... It's smiling at me.
1110
01:28:59,363 --> 01:29:00,876
Okay?
1111
01:29:02,161 --> 01:29:04,080
- Beautiful!
- Yes.
1112
01:29:06,937 --> 01:29:08,981
<i>That Christmas would live
in our memories...
1113
01:29:09,073 --> 01:29:12,675
<i>...as the Christmas when we were
introduced to Chinese turkey.
1114
01:29:13,945 --> 01:29:16,037
<i>All was right with the world.
1115
01:29:37,090 --> 01:29:39,151
<i>Oh, honey, come over here.
Look at this.
1116
01:29:40,039 --> 01:29:42,397
Oh, is that beautiful!
1117
01:29:52,417 --> 01:29:53,926
Merry Christmas.
1118
01:30:06,000 --> 01:30:22,000
Corrected and Arranged by
BANQUO
1119
01:30:28,067 --> 01:30:32,724
<i>Next to me in the blackness
lay my oiled blue-steel beauty.
1120
01:30:32,993 --> 01:30:37,223
<i>The greatest Christmas gift I had
ever received or would ever receive.
1121
01:30:38,020 --> 01:30:40,225
<i>Gradually, I drifted off to sleep...
1122
01:30:40,270 --> 01:30:44,561
<i>...pranging ducks on the wing
and getting off spectacular hip shots.
|