3
00:00:56,619 --> 00:00:57,732
Market reports today...
4
00:00:57,855 --> 00:01:02,165
barrows and gilts at 220 to 260 pounds
are lower at $40.
5
00:01:02,425 --> 00:01:05,873
Sows are steady.
300 to 500 pounds, $34 to $37.
6
00:01:06,096 --> 00:01:09,926
Goin' over to the feeder cattle,
beef steers, $120 to $150...
7
00:01:11,935 --> 00:01:12,883
The way I like to do it...
8
00:01:13,003 --> 00:01:15,938
is I take one can
of cream of mushroom soup...
9
00:01:16,140 --> 00:01:17,962
and then one package of egg noodles.
10
00:01:18,108 --> 00:01:21,043
I like the egg noodles
better than the Italian ones.
11
00:01:21,246 --> 00:01:22,326
I like to put...
12
00:01:25,884 --> 00:01:28,633
If we look at what the Lord said
in the book of Revelation...
13
00:01:28,819 --> 00:01:31,885
you can be sure
that there's a price to pay...
14
00:01:32,089 --> 00:01:36,497
for the way of the flesh
and that price will be paid if you don't...
15
00:01:36,761 --> 00:01:41,202
Here's the wind-up and the pitch.
16
00:01:41,466 --> 00:01:43,506
And it's two and two, two and two...
17
00:01:52,244 --> 00:01:54,099
Before you just say,
'Honey, I think we have to have...
18
00:01:54,246 --> 00:01:56,515
'some couple's counseling.
I mean, I think we have a problem.
19
00:01:56,682 --> 00:01:57,631
'I can't leave a cup here for...'
20
00:02:07,661 --> 00:02:10,082
All right. It's time for traffic on the fives...
21
00:02:10,262 --> 00:02:11,756
and let's find out
what's going on with your drive.
22
00:02:11,898 --> 00:02:13,621
Let's go to Chopper.
Chopper, what's happening?
23
00:02:13,766 --> 00:02:16,287
All right, Lettie.
We got a fifteen-minute, uh, wait... 494.
24
00:02:16,470 --> 00:02:18,575
There's an accident working
at the spaghetti junction.
25
00:02:18,739 --> 00:02:20,975
at 630, but it still
will make a very slow go...
26
00:02:41,795 --> 00:02:45,690
A quiet night in a city that knows
how to keep its secrets.
27
00:02:45,933 --> 00:02:50,603
But one man is still looking for
the answers to life's persistent questions.
28
00:02:55,643 --> 00:02:57,236
That's me.
29
00:02:57,378 --> 00:02:59,353
Or it used to be.
30
00:02:59,515 --> 00:03:01,686
It was a rainy Saturday night in St. Paul...
31
00:03:01,916 --> 00:03:04,437
and I had just finished off
a grilled cheese sandwich...
32
00:03:04,620 --> 00:03:05,929
with beans for a chaser...
33
00:03:06,054 --> 00:03:08,607
and it was time to head
for work across the street.
34
00:03:20,035 --> 00:03:21,693
I'm a private eye.
35
00:03:21,837 --> 00:03:23,266
Noir's the name.
36
00:03:23,405 --> 00:03:24,867
Guy Noir.
37
00:03:25,008 --> 00:03:28,870
But I'd taken temporary employment
about six years before...
38
00:03:29,111 --> 00:03:34,098
doing security for a radio show
called A Prairie Home Companion...
39
00:03:34,385 --> 00:03:37,254
on account of a serious
cash-flow problem...
40
00:03:37,454 --> 00:03:41,829
due to a lack of missing heiresses
and dead tycoons lying in the solarium...
41
00:03:42,092 --> 00:03:45,637
with lipstick stains
on their smoking jackets.
42
00:03:45,862 --> 00:03:48,961
In other words, I was broke.
43
00:03:49,166 --> 00:03:52,908
This radio show was done
out of an old theater called the Fitzgerald...
44
00:03:53,136 --> 00:03:56,268
and it had been on the air
since Jesus was in the third grade.
45
00:03:56,474 --> 00:04:00,303
But it was still pulling in
a few hundred people on Saturday nights.
46
00:04:00,544 --> 00:04:05,301
It was a live radio variety show,
the kind that died fifty years ago...
47
00:04:05,584 --> 00:04:10,537
but somebody forgot to tell them
until this night.
48
00:04:10,822 --> 00:04:14,466
A big corporation down in Texas
had bought up the radio station...
49
00:04:14,693 --> 00:04:17,246
and their axeman,
a guy named Cruett...
50
00:04:17,428 --> 00:04:19,916
was on his way to St. Paul
to shut the thing down...
51
00:04:20,098 --> 00:04:22,487
and turn the theater
into a parking lot.
52
00:04:25,670 --> 00:04:29,663
It was curtains and everybody knew it,
but nobody said so.
53
00:04:29,908 --> 00:04:31,763
They were Midwesterners.
54
00:04:31,910 --> 00:04:36,034
They felt like if you ignored bad news,
it might go away.
55
00:04:36,281 --> 00:04:39,729
Not my philosophy,
but I'm not from here.
56
00:04:39,952 --> 00:04:41,479
Stay on the edge of the crowd.
57
00:04:41,621 --> 00:04:42,569
Keep your eyes open.
58
00:04:42,688 --> 00:04:44,728
That's my motto.
59
00:04:44,891 --> 00:04:47,957
It was my last night
of gainful employment...
60
00:04:48,160 --> 00:04:51,324
and I had a feeling
it was maybe going to be interesting.
61
00:04:55,935 --> 00:04:59,197
d I used to work in Chicago d
62
00:04:59,406 --> 00:05:02,603
d At a convenience store d
63
00:05:02,809 --> 00:05:05,842
d I used to work in Chicago d
64
00:05:06,046 --> 00:05:07,061
d I did, but I don't anymore d
65
00:05:07,180 --> 00:05:10,082
Ladies and gentlemen, we are now
at ten minutes from broadcast, please.
66
00:05:10,285 --> 00:05:11,365
Ten minutes.
67
00:05:11,485 --> 00:05:13,274
d A lady walked in
with some porcelain skin d
68
00:05:13,420 --> 00:05:17,381
d And I asked her what she came in for d
69
00:05:17,625 --> 00:05:20,625
d 'Liquor,' she said, and lick her I did d
70
00:05:20,828 --> 00:05:24,373
d And I don't work there anymore d
71
00:05:24,598 --> 00:05:26,671
Molly.
72
00:05:26,834 --> 00:05:28,143
What... OK, OK.
73
00:05:28,269 --> 00:05:29,643
Jesus, the schedule.
74
00:05:29,771 --> 00:05:31,462
Uh...
75
00:05:31,606 --> 00:05:33,101
Where's my pencil?
I gotta show you some changes.
76
00:05:33,241 --> 00:05:34,190
Where's my pencil?
77
00:05:34,310 --> 00:05:35,324
I just put it down here a second ago.
78
00:05:35,443 --> 00:05:36,621
Where'd you put it last?
79
00:05:36,744 --> 00:05:37,824
I just had it here a second ago.
80
00:05:37,947 --> 00:05:39,092
Oh, it's... it's...
81
00:05:39,214 --> 00:05:40,261
Don't mess with those.
82
00:05:40,382 --> 00:05:42,237
Hey, hey, hey.
Please, move that back.
83
00:05:42,384 --> 00:05:44,075
This one will make the...
84
00:05:44,219 --> 00:05:46,902
This will make the wife
green-eyed with envy.
85
00:05:47,089 --> 00:05:48,583
Ooh!
86
00:05:48,724 --> 00:05:49,652
One more.
87
00:05:49,758 --> 00:05:51,613
Do you think
she's coming by the studio?
88
00:05:51,760 --> 00:05:53,320
Cuddle up a little bit.
There you go.
89
00:05:55,065 --> 00:05:57,170
Hey, Guy.
How are you tonight?
90
00:05:57,334 --> 00:05:58,643
I need a little help from you.
91
00:05:58,767 --> 00:06:00,906
Take these Johnson Girl t-shirts.
Have someone take 'em up front.
92
00:06:01,071 --> 00:06:03,591
- I'll take care of it.
- Nice tie.
93
00:06:03,773 --> 00:06:05,082
Well, it's about damn time.
94
00:06:05,208 --> 00:06:06,550
The very tardy Johnson Girls.
95
00:06:06,676 --> 00:06:07,603
Hey, Al.
96
00:06:07,711 --> 00:06:08,790
Givin' me a heart attack here.
97
00:06:08,911 --> 00:06:11,399
What is this? Rewrites?
98
00:06:11,581 --> 00:06:13,370
What's wrong with the old script?
99
00:06:13,516 --> 00:06:14,443
How does that feel?
100
00:06:14,551 --> 00:06:16,177
Give me a little sound effects on that one.
101
00:06:16,319 --> 00:06:19,036
Ladies and gentlemen,
we are now at six minutes to broadcast.
102
00:06:19,222 --> 00:06:20,782
Six minutes from broadcast, please.
103
00:06:20,924 --> 00:06:22,004
That's the... that's the...
104
00:06:22,125 --> 00:06:23,849
Hey, Rich, that's that Honolulu mama...
105
00:06:23,995 --> 00:06:25,882
how she could dance
in her pink pajamas...
106
00:06:26,029 --> 00:06:28,069
when she took off
her Oahu Oahu Oahu.
107
00:06:28,232 --> 00:06:30,534
No, it's an old
Carter family song, right?
108
00:06:30,701 --> 00:06:31,628
A what?
109
00:06:31,736 --> 00:06:33,907
Carter family, sweetheart.
110
00:06:34,071 --> 00:06:36,210
Just like us, only famous.
111
00:06:37,107 --> 00:06:38,384
Now, how long you been doin' this?
112
00:06:38,509 --> 00:06:40,876
Doin' what?
Puttin' my pants on?
113
00:06:41,045 --> 00:06:42,606
How long you been doin' radio?
114
00:06:42,748 --> 00:06:44,438
Oh.
115
00:06:44,582 --> 00:06:47,004
I don't know.
Thirty-some years, I guess.
116
00:06:47,185 --> 00:06:50,152
Started out in Mark Twain Days,
Mississippi River...
117
00:06:50,355 --> 00:06:52,624
and they hired me to play Huck Finn.
118
00:06:52,790 --> 00:06:56,434
I was running a raft
on the Mississippi...
119
00:06:56,662 --> 00:06:59,629
and carrying people across, and, uh...
120
00:06:59,831 --> 00:07:02,220
it ran into the wake of a steamboat.
121
00:07:02,402 --> 00:07:04,409
Mr. Keillor?
We need you on stage.
122
00:07:04,569 --> 00:07:05,496
Fine. I'm right there.
123
00:07:05,604 --> 00:07:08,321
Is this the story about the guy
who ends up hangin' from a kite...
124
00:07:08,507 --> 00:07:10,744
bein' pulled by a boat
with his shorts around his ankles?
125
00:07:10,909 --> 00:07:13,397
No. No, it's a different story
about a pontoon boat.
126
00:07:13,579 --> 00:07:15,968
Oh! Look at this old house.
127
00:07:16,148 --> 00:07:17,709
Good-bye, old house.
128
00:07:17,850 --> 00:07:18,995
Good-bye, old porch.
129
00:07:19,118 --> 00:07:20,645
Good-bye, old Guy.
130
00:07:20,786 --> 00:07:25,391
Hey, Guy. What are they gonna do
with this house, you think? Huh?
131
00:07:25,658 --> 00:07:27,829
I figure it had somethin' to do...
132
00:07:27,994 --> 00:07:31,060
with the dumpster
that showed up yesterday.
133
00:07:31,264 --> 00:07:32,639
Oh, my God.
Honey, listen.
134
00:07:32,765 --> 00:07:34,740
I brought you that cute little dress...
135
00:07:34,901 --> 00:07:36,941
I already told you,
I don't like the dress.
136
00:07:37,103 --> 00:07:38,031
At least try it on.
137
00:07:38,138 --> 00:07:39,120
I want to see it on you.
138
00:07:39,239 --> 00:07:40,351
You try it on.
I don't want to try it on.
139
00:07:40,474 --> 00:07:41,423
It's ugly.
140
00:07:41,541 --> 00:07:42,621
It's the color of vomit.
141
00:07:46,547 --> 00:07:47,824
Oh, sorry.
142
00:07:51,885 --> 00:07:55,201
Old man Soderberg was
one of those people who was on that raft...
143
00:07:55,422 --> 00:07:59,350
and, uh, he went over the rail
and into the river...
144
00:07:59,593 --> 00:08:02,310
and I went in for him
'cause he couldn't swim.
145
00:08:02,497 --> 00:08:05,399
So, I pulled him out.
146
00:08:05,600 --> 00:08:06,712
You saved his life?
147
00:08:06,834 --> 00:08:09,071
Well, not really.
The river was shallow at that point...
148
00:08:09,237 --> 00:08:11,604
but he didn't know that
'cause I had hold of his ankles.
149
00:08:11,773 --> 00:08:13,334
I was towing him into shore.
150
00:08:13,475 --> 00:08:14,588
Hey! It's good to see ya!
151
00:08:14,709 --> 00:08:16,618
Four minutes from broadcast, please.
152
00:08:16,778 --> 00:08:18,087
Four minutes.
153
00:08:18,213 --> 00:08:21,061
Ooh! Hey.
154
00:08:21,249 --> 00:08:22,296
Hey.
155
00:08:22,417 --> 00:08:23,824
Wait a minute.
Where's my bag?
156
00:08:23,952 --> 00:08:25,065
No, no. The bag's here.
157
00:08:25,187 --> 00:08:26,364
I brought it in.
158
00:08:26,488 --> 00:08:28,015
Mom, just look.
159
00:08:28,157 --> 00:08:29,684
Here it is.
Come on, Yolanda.
160
00:08:29,825 --> 00:08:33,207
I swear to God I'm all,
you know, verklempt.
161
00:08:33,429 --> 00:08:35,218
Ha ha ha ha!
162
00:08:35,364 --> 00:08:36,411
Ohh.
163
00:08:36,532 --> 00:08:37,579
Hot.
164
00:08:37,700 --> 00:08:40,635
Yeah. See? Plenty of time.
165
00:08:40,836 --> 00:08:42,691
So he gave you the job at WLT.
166
00:08:42,839 --> 00:08:43,886
Well, his brother did, actually.
167
00:08:44,006 --> 00:08:45,053
Yeah, Art Soderberg.
168
00:08:45,174 --> 00:08:46,221
G.K. to the stage, please.
169
00:08:46,342 --> 00:08:48,230
Art Soderberg gave you the job.
170
00:08:48,378 --> 00:08:49,425
Yeah, it was a...
171
00:08:49,546 --> 00:08:50,626
It was
the early morning show, right?
172
00:08:50,747 --> 00:08:53,136
Rise and Shine Show.
Wilmer Scott, 5 A.M..
173
00:08:53,316 --> 00:08:54,526
Me and Dusty used to have
an early mornin' show.
174
00:08:54,651 --> 00:08:55,927
Is that right?
Excuse me, partner.
175
00:08:56,052 --> 00:08:57,131
Oh, yeah.
Breakfast at the Bunkhouse.
176
00:08:57,254 --> 00:08:59,556
TV show.
And, uh, it showed mostly...
177
00:08:59,723 --> 00:09:01,250
cartoons and stuff.
Remember that?
178
00:09:01,391 --> 00:09:02,951
- Oh, yeah?
- For the kids.
179
00:09:03,093 --> 00:09:06,290
Well, this was... uh, this came on
at 5:00 in the morning.
180
00:09:06,497 --> 00:09:07,424
And it was... uh, like a gospel show.
181
00:09:07,531 --> 00:09:09,354
- Inspirational show.
- Inspirational show.
182
00:09:09,500 --> 00:09:10,710
Wilmer Scott was the host of it.
183
00:09:10,834 --> 00:09:13,223
Wasn't Wilmer Scott the famous aviator?
184
00:09:13,404 --> 00:09:14,549
No.
185
00:09:14,672 --> 00:09:17,967
Yeah. First man to fly the length
of the Mississippi solo.
186
00:09:18,175 --> 00:09:19,353
- No.
- I don't think so.
187
00:09:19,477 --> 00:09:20,524
Right.
188
00:09:20,645 --> 00:09:21,954
That was his brother Wilbur Scott.
189
00:09:22,080 --> 00:09:23,159
We're now at three minutes...
190
00:09:23,281 --> 00:09:25,518
Flew from New Orleans to Memphis...
191
00:09:25,683 --> 00:09:28,203
all the way up to Minnesota
to Lake Itasca.
192
00:09:28,386 --> 00:09:29,433
And when he got up there,
he tried to fire a signal rocket...
193
00:09:29,554 --> 00:09:31,310
out the cockpit window,
but it was closed.
194
00:09:31,456 --> 00:09:35,350
He became the first civilian pilot
to shoot himself down.
195
00:09:35,594 --> 00:09:36,641
- Ugh!
- No. That was Wilbur.
196
00:09:36,761 --> 00:09:37,808
- You made that story up.
- Right.
197
00:09:37,929 --> 00:09:38,977
No, I'm talking
about Wilmer Scott.
198
00:09:39,097 --> 00:09:41,398
Crashed into the lake
at his moment of triumph.
199
00:09:41,566 --> 00:09:42,515
- No.
- Wilmer.
200
00:09:42,634 --> 00:09:45,284
- Wilmer. Yeah. He was the host...
- No. This was the...
201
00:09:45,471 --> 00:09:46,997
- Right.
- The Rise and Shine Show.
202
00:09:47,139 --> 00:09:48,383
Rise and Shine.
203
00:09:48,507 --> 00:09:51,322
Mr. Keillor, Al's on the verge
of a coronary up there.
204
00:09:51,510 --> 00:09:52,557
Yeah. I'm there.
205
00:09:52,678 --> 00:09:53,726
Now, how did he have time
to fly and do radio?
206
00:09:53,846 --> 00:09:54,894
G.K., sit down.
I gotta do your makeup.
207
00:09:55,014 --> 00:09:57,250
You're thinking of Wilbur Scott, see?
208
00:09:57,416 --> 00:09:58,365
Yeah. It's not the same person.
Not the same person.
209
00:09:58,483 --> 00:09:59,563
- Yeah...
- He was dead.
210
00:09:59,685 --> 00:10:01,758
You know, we used
to have a dog in the act...
211
00:10:01,921 --> 00:10:03,830
when Wanda and Connie were in it...
212
00:10:03,990 --> 00:10:06,030
- and that dog would sing...
- Ooo!
213
00:10:06,192 --> 00:10:07,337
- Ha ha!
- Ha ha ha ha!
214
00:10:07,460 --> 00:10:10,275
We'd sing this old song
and he would howl! Ha ha ha!
215
00:10:10,463 --> 00:10:12,154
Oh, my God, that was a dog.
216
00:10:12,299 --> 00:10:14,153
- I been thinkin' about him all day long.
- Yeah.
217
00:10:14,301 --> 00:10:15,762
Rusty always comes to my mind.
218
00:10:15,902 --> 00:10:16,949
Does it?
219
00:10:17,070 --> 00:10:19,623
d Go tell Aunt Gladys d
220
00:10:19,806 --> 00:10:22,556
- # Go tell Aunt Gladys d
- That's it!
221
00:10:22,743 --> 00:10:23,725
d Go tell Aunt Gladys d
222
00:10:23,844 --> 00:10:25,786
d The old brown dog is dead d
223
00:10:25,946 --> 00:10:27,920
d An old brown dog named Rusty d
224
00:10:28,082 --> 00:10:30,253
d An old brown dog named Rusty d
225
00:10:30,417 --> 00:10:32,424
d An old brown dog named Rusty d
226
00:10:32,586 --> 00:10:34,691
d He just laid down and died d
227
00:10:34,855 --> 00:10:36,065
- Ruff! Ruff!
- Right on cue.
228
00:10:36,190 --> 00:10:37,400
- It was... I mean...
- Bow wow wow!
229
00:10:37,524 --> 00:10:39,117
- Ow, ow, ow!
- Bark bark bark!
230
00:10:39,260 --> 00:10:40,373
- Oooowww!
- How-ow!
231
00:10:40,495 --> 00:10:41,869
I don't know if we were
harmonizing with him...
232
00:10:41,996 --> 00:10:43,305
or he was harmonizing with us.
233
00:10:43,431 --> 00:10:46,464
d Oh, he died from chasin' squirrels d
234
00:10:46,668 --> 00:10:47,715
Ladies and gentlemen...
235
00:10:47,836 --> 00:10:48,883
d He died from chasin' squirrels d
236
00:10:49,003 --> 00:10:50,051
This is not a test.
237
00:10:50,170 --> 00:10:51,218
d He died from chasin' squirrels d
238
00:10:51,339 --> 00:10:52,386
We're at two minutes from broadcast.
239
00:10:52,507 --> 00:10:54,547
d He ate one and got sick d
240
00:10:54,709 --> 00:10:56,399
d Must've been a bad one d
241
00:10:56,544 --> 00:10:57,592
- # Must've been d
- Ha ha!
242
00:10:57,713 --> 00:10:58,661
d A bad one d
243
00:10:58,780 --> 00:11:00,820
d It must've been a bad one d
244
00:11:00,983 --> 00:11:02,870
d He just laid down and died d
245
00:11:03,018 --> 00:11:05,440
Oh, my God!
Oh, my God!
246
00:11:05,621 --> 00:11:07,443
Oh, God! This is it!
247
00:11:07,590 --> 00:11:08,637
Oh!
248
00:11:08,757 --> 00:11:09,804
I'm going into labor!
249
00:11:09,925 --> 00:11:10,973
Oh! Uh... oh, my gosh!
250
00:11:11,093 --> 00:11:12,816
I can feel it!
My baby's coming out!
251
00:11:12,962 --> 00:11:16,410
It's going to come out on
this dirty make-up room floor!
252
00:11:16,632 --> 00:11:18,541
Oh! Oh! Whoa!
253
00:11:18,701 --> 00:11:19,748
Just take it easy.
254
00:11:19,869 --> 00:11:21,527
Just kidding.
255
00:11:21,671 --> 00:11:23,395
- Ohh! You...
- You phony!
256
00:11:23,540 --> 00:11:25,034
Get her up out of there.
257
00:11:25,175 --> 00:11:27,542
You were fakin'? !
I was callin' 911!
258
00:11:27,711 --> 00:11:28,889
I'm sorry.
They just wouldn't pay attention.
259
00:11:29,012 --> 00:11:30,866
- I had to think of something...
- I'm going to work.
260
00:11:31,014 --> 00:11:32,061
- Oh!
- Didn't mean to scare you, Donna.
261
00:11:32,182 --> 00:11:33,676
Wilmer Scott.
262
00:11:33,817 --> 00:11:34,929
- Let's go.
- Garrison!
263
00:11:35,052 --> 00:11:36,546
Wilmer Scott was the one
who hypnotized the chickens...
264
00:11:36,687 --> 00:11:38,214
- There you go.
- on the show.
265
00:11:38,355 --> 00:11:40,242
He did like, what,
four of those chickens in a row.
266
00:11:40,390 --> 00:11:42,397
- Four or five of them.
- Who was Wilmer Scott?
267
00:11:42,559 --> 00:11:45,046
He was the host of that
Rise and Shine Show.
268
00:11:45,228 --> 00:11:46,723
Early in the morning. 5 A.M..
269
00:11:46,863 --> 00:11:48,936
That's, uh, what, uh,
G.K. got started in radio.
270
00:11:49,100 --> 00:11:50,147
Right. Gospel show.
271
00:11:50,267 --> 00:11:51,477
And he hypnotized chickens
on the radio?
272
00:11:51,601 --> 00:11:53,543
No, but he did
the chickens on this show.
273
00:11:53,704 --> 00:11:54,752
On this show?
274
00:11:54,871 --> 00:11:55,919
Not on that Rise and Shine Show.
275
00:11:56,040 --> 00:11:57,316
OK.
276
00:11:57,442 --> 00:11:59,003
All right, let's dim the house lights.
277
00:11:59,143 --> 00:12:00,070
You remember when
he did those chickens?
278
00:12:00,178 --> 00:12:01,487
- Hypnotized them?
- Yep.
279
00:12:01,612 --> 00:12:02,540
Chinese chickens, right?
280
00:12:02,647 --> 00:12:03,857
Kung Pao, I believe.
281
00:12:03,982 --> 00:12:05,411
With the little... didn't they have a little...
282
00:12:05,550 --> 00:12:06,565
Here we go. Over here.
283
00:12:06,685 --> 00:12:08,375
Piscacadawadaquoddymoggin.
284
00:12:08,519 --> 00:12:09,567
Pisca what?
285
00:12:09,688 --> 00:12:11,630
The sponsor. 5 A.M..
Rise and Shine Show.
286
00:12:11,790 --> 00:12:12,717
What was it called?
287
00:12:12,824 --> 00:12:13,752
Made of buffalo grass...
288
00:12:13,859 --> 00:12:15,036
And thirty seconds to broadcast, please.
289
00:12:15,159 --> 00:12:17,396
Sassafras, and natural grain alcohol.
290
00:12:17,563 --> 00:12:18,610
What was it called?
291
00:12:18,730 --> 00:12:19,777
Piscacadawadaquoddymoggin.
292
00:12:19,897 --> 00:12:20,945
No, it's
Piscacadawadaquoddymoggin.
293
00:12:21,066 --> 00:12:22,113
- Places, please.
- OK. Places.
294
00:12:22,234 --> 00:12:23,281
That's what I said.
295
00:12:23,402 --> 00:12:25,027
Remember the jingle?
How it went?
296
00:12:25,169 --> 00:12:29,676
d Piscacadawadaquoddymoggin
Medicinal Formula d
297
00:12:29,942 --> 00:12:30,989
Standin' by.
Here we go.
298
00:12:31,110 --> 00:12:32,834
It was what Wilmer Scott
had in his coffee cup...
299
00:12:32,979 --> 00:12:34,440
- Uh-huh.
- every morning.
300
00:12:34,580 --> 00:12:35,824
- 5 A.M..
- Right here.
301
00:12:35,948 --> 00:12:36,875
Then he quit drinking.
302
00:12:36,983 --> 00:12:39,284
- Uh-huh. OK.
- And he lost interest in radio.
303
00:12:39,452 --> 00:12:40,597
Check your barn doors.
304
00:12:40,720 --> 00:12:41,930
He developed mic fright.
305
00:12:42,055 --> 00:12:43,167
How did he quit drinkin'?
306
00:12:43,288 --> 00:12:44,237
He just quit.
307
00:12:44,457 --> 00:12:46,464
- And we're on.
- Then he raised chickens.
308
00:12:46,626 --> 00:12:48,993
Show chickens.
Chinese chickens.
309
00:12:52,966 --> 00:12:55,584
d I hear that old piano d
310
00:12:55,769 --> 00:12:58,290
d From down the avenue d
311
00:13:01,775 --> 00:13:03,782
d I smell the pine trees d
312
00:13:03,943 --> 00:13:06,431
d I look around for you d
313
00:13:08,816 --> 00:13:12,613
d Oh, my sweet, sweet,
sweet old someone d
314
00:13:13,888 --> 00:13:16,605
d Coming through that door d
315
00:13:17,725 --> 00:13:21,205
d It's Saturday
and the band is playin' d
316
00:13:21,429 --> 00:13:24,495
d Honey, could we ask for more? d
317
00:13:24,698 --> 00:13:26,422
Hello, everybody,
on a Saturday night...
318
00:13:26,568 --> 00:13:28,259
and welcome to a live broadcast...
319
00:13:28,403 --> 00:13:30,508
of A Prairie Home Companion
coming to you...
320
00:13:30,672 --> 00:13:34,087
from WLT,
your friendly neighbor station.
321
00:13:34,843 --> 00:13:36,468
Noir, where you been?
322
00:13:36,611 --> 00:13:38,466
I was lookin' after the Johnson Girls.
323
00:13:38,613 --> 00:13:40,272
OK. Aren't you supposed
to be guarding the door?
324
00:13:40,416 --> 00:13:41,463
Are you worried about something?
325
00:13:41,583 --> 00:13:44,136
Uh, I had a weird call
from some crazy lady, so...
326
00:13:44,320 --> 00:13:45,727
Oh, she's not that crazy.
327
00:13:45,855 --> 00:13:47,065
How do you know?
328
00:13:47,189 --> 00:13:48,433
Because I met her
earlier this afternoon.
329
00:13:48,557 --> 00:13:49,834
She came by.
330
00:13:49,959 --> 00:13:52,992
What does she look like?
You get a description?
331
00:13:53,196 --> 00:13:54,538
Yeah, I got a description.
332
00:13:54,664 --> 00:13:55,711
Yeah?
333
00:13:55,832 --> 00:13:57,010
She was beautiful.
334
00:13:57,133 --> 00:14:01,639
Her hair was what God had in mind
when he said, let there be...
335
00:14:01,904 --> 00:14:03,563
Hair. Right. Hair.
336
00:14:03,707 --> 00:14:06,489
Hair. Yeah.
337
00:14:06,676 --> 00:14:08,138
She gave me a smile so sweet...
338
00:14:08,277 --> 00:14:10,546
you could've poured it
on your pancakes.
339
00:14:10,714 --> 00:14:13,201
She was wearing a white
trench coat so white...
340
00:14:13,382 --> 00:14:16,252
that rain would be
embarrassed to fall on it.
341
00:14:16,453 --> 00:14:17,827
Got it. Right.
342
00:14:17,955 --> 00:14:19,067
The skirt she was
wearing was so tight...
343
00:14:19,188 --> 00:14:22,058
you could read
the embroidery on her underwear.
344
00:14:22,259 --> 00:14:28,718
It said, 'Wash in lukewarm water
and spin lightly.'
345
00:14:29,066 --> 00:14:30,593
OK, you're makin' it up.
346
00:14:30,735 --> 00:14:35,208
She had a Mount Rushmore t-shirt on,
and those guys never looked so good.
347
00:14:35,473 --> 00:14:37,261
Especially Jefferson and Lincoln.
348
00:14:37,407 --> 00:14:38,487
Right.
349
00:14:38,610 --> 00:14:41,457
Kind of bloated but happy.
350
00:14:41,646 --> 00:14:43,980
- If you know what I mean.
- Yeah.
351
00:14:44,149 --> 00:14:46,899
It was an honor just to sit there
and inhale the same air...
352
00:14:47,085 --> 00:14:50,020
that she had so recently exhaled...
353
00:14:50,221 --> 00:14:54,629
just to exchange the atmosphere
between us, so to speak.
354
00:14:54,893 --> 00:14:55,940
Look, what did she want?
355
00:14:56,060 --> 00:14:57,402
Did she say anything about...
356
00:14:57,529 --> 00:14:58,576
Who?
357
00:14:58,696 --> 00:15:00,223
The lady.
358
00:15:00,366 --> 00:15:03,268
Oh. She was looking for
the Presbyterian Church.
359
00:15:03,469 --> 00:15:05,324
Like a dope,
I told her where it was.
360
00:15:05,471 --> 00:15:08,340
And out of my life she went, just as...
361
00:15:08,541 --> 00:15:11,029
quickly and erotically
as she had entered it.
362
00:15:15,181 --> 00:15:16,872
Are you tired
of your current herring?
363
00:15:18,817 --> 00:15:21,239
Has it lost that certain
something that you expect...
364
00:15:21,421 --> 00:15:22,697
in a pickled fish product?
365
00:15:24,791 --> 00:15:27,409
If so, maybe it's time you try Jens Jenson.
366
00:15:27,594 --> 00:15:32,679
It's the Lake Superior herring that's made
the old-fashioned Norwegian way.
367
00:15:40,875 --> 00:15:45,065
C-can someone turn it down, please?
Please?
368
00:15:45,313 --> 00:15:48,477
d Yeah, Jenson Herring is the best d
369
00:15:48,683 --> 00:15:49,801
Oh, Jens Jenson's.
370
00:15:49,884 --> 00:15:51,739
- Please.
- Ask for it by name.
371
00:15:51,886 --> 00:15:54,603
And if your grocer doesn't stock it,
ask him why not.
372
00:15:54,789 --> 00:15:56,316
You know what I'm gonna do?
373
00:15:56,457 --> 00:15:58,977
I'm gonna color my hair
strawberry blonde.
374
00:15:59,594 --> 00:16:00,292
Hey.
375
00:16:00,394 --> 00:16:02,663
I swear to God, I should
have done it years ago.
376
00:16:02,830 --> 00:16:03,758
I should have broke loose...
377
00:16:03,864 --> 00:16:06,101
gone to Chicago
when Mama died back then.
378
00:16:06,268 --> 00:16:07,697
That's what I should have done.
379
00:16:07,835 --> 00:16:09,526
You know, you put those things off.
380
00:16:09,670 --> 00:16:11,939
You seldom get around to them again.
381
00:16:12,107 --> 00:16:14,528
Hmm. What are you writin'?
382
00:16:14,710 --> 00:16:15,822
Poem.
383
00:16:15,943 --> 00:16:17,285
Oh, a poem.
384
00:16:17,412 --> 00:16:19,681
What's it about?
385
00:16:19,848 --> 00:16:21,310
Heh. Suicide.
386
00:16:21,450 --> 00:16:23,173
Oh, my God.
387
00:16:23,318 --> 00:16:26,068
Oh. OK.
388
00:16:26,255 --> 00:16:28,426
Well, you know what my philosophy is.
389
00:16:28,590 --> 00:16:30,794
Yes, I do, so don't tell me.
390
00:16:32,427 --> 00:16:36,322
I think that you gotta be grateful
for everything that happens to you...
391
00:16:36,566 --> 00:16:39,184
because that's what
got you here, you know?
392
00:16:39,369 --> 00:16:42,086
And if you hadn't gone through
all the things that you went through...
393
00:16:42,272 --> 00:16:44,411
why, you know,
you wouldn't have wound up...
394
00:16:44,574 --> 00:16:48,218
where you are now, so,
I don't know.
395
00:16:48,444 --> 00:16:49,655
Disappointment doesn't
get you anywhere.
396
00:16:49,780 --> 00:16:50,707
Anywhere.
397
00:16:50,813 --> 00:16:52,340
Aren't you wonderful?
398
00:16:52,483 --> 00:16:55,581
Well, one door closes
and another one opens...
399
00:16:55,786 --> 00:17:00,128
then, you know, everything is
a step along the way...
400
00:17:00,391 --> 00:17:02,278
and it all leads to something else.
401
00:17:02,426 --> 00:17:05,622
Pardon me if I don't
get down on my knees.
402
00:17:05,829 --> 00:17:08,993
Well, that's what I think.
403
00:17:09,199 --> 00:17:12,014
Ahem. Read me some of your poem.
404
00:17:12,202 --> 00:17:13,412
It's not finished.
405
00:17:13,537 --> 00:17:14,715
Huh?
406
00:17:14,838 --> 00:17:16,977
OK.
407
00:17:17,142 --> 00:17:20,142
'Soliloquy for a Blue Guitar.
408
00:17:20,345 --> 00:17:21,272
'Death is easy...
409
00:17:21,378 --> 00:17:23,996
'like jumping into the big, blue air...
410
00:17:24,181 --> 00:17:26,091
'and waving hello to God.
411
00:17:26,251 --> 00:17:27,265
'God is love...
412
00:17:27,385 --> 00:17:28,879
'but he doesn't necessarily
drop everything...
413
00:17:29,020 --> 00:17:30,962
'to catch you, does he?
414
00:17:31,122 --> 00:17:34,057
'So, when you hook the hose up
to your tailpipe...
415
00:17:34,259 --> 00:17:36,746
'don't expect to wake up
and get toast for breakfast.
416
00:17:36,928 --> 00:17:39,896
'The toast is you.'
417
00:17:40,099 --> 00:17:42,041
Hey, what was
the name of that song?
418
00:17:42,200 --> 00:17:43,128
Well, did you like it?
419
00:17:43,234 --> 00:17:45,918
I won't be loanin' you my car
any time soon.
420
00:17:46,105 --> 00:17:47,828
Hose to the tailpipe.
421
00:17:48,306 --> 00:17:49,200
Thank you so much.
422
00:17:49,275 --> 00:17:51,576
I want to come in here
and sing a song for you...
423
00:17:51,744 --> 00:17:56,250
called Slow Days of Summer.
424
00:17:56,515 --> 00:18:01,949
Send this out to all the friends
in my little hometown...
425
00:18:02,254 --> 00:18:06,891
up north of here up on the river.
426
00:18:07,159 --> 00:18:10,126
d Slow days of summer d
427
00:18:10,329 --> 00:18:12,915
d In this old town d
428
00:18:13,100 --> 00:18:15,969
d Sun goes across the sky d
429
00:18:16,169 --> 00:18:19,136
d Sometimes a car goes by d
430
00:18:19,339 --> 00:18:22,056
d There's one right now d
431
00:18:22,242 --> 00:18:24,795
d Looks like a Chevy d
432
00:18:24,978 --> 00:18:28,044
d Your Chevy's blue d
433
00:18:28,248 --> 00:18:31,031
d This Chevy's white and brown d
434
00:18:31,219 --> 00:18:34,088
d It doesn't slow down d
435
00:18:34,288 --> 00:18:37,038
d This looks like new d
436
00:18:37,225 --> 00:18:39,876
d You said you'd be here d
437
00:18:40,061 --> 00:18:42,995
d Someday yourself d
438
00:18:43,197 --> 00:18:45,979
d Maybe by Saturday d
439
00:18:46,167 --> 00:18:49,102
d If you can get away d
440
00:18:49,303 --> 00:18:51,245
d You'll let me know d
441
00:18:55,009 --> 00:18:55,937
You came back.
442
00:18:56,044 --> 00:18:58,019
I did.
443
00:18:58,179 --> 00:19:00,863
The Presbyterians weren't
who you were looking for?
444
00:19:01,049 --> 00:19:02,576
No, Mr. Noir.
445
00:19:02,718 --> 00:19:04,506
I was sent here.
446
00:19:04,653 --> 00:19:06,955
What can I do for you?
447
00:19:07,122 --> 00:19:08,715
Really nothing.
448
00:19:08,857 --> 00:19:10,384
I'll take care of it.
449
00:19:10,527 --> 00:19:11,956
d Playing a note... d
450
00:19:12,095 --> 00:19:15,161
You have a nice show here, Mr. Noir.
451
00:19:15,365 --> 00:19:17,503
Thanks. We like it.
452
00:19:17,666 --> 00:19:21,660
Do you believe in the fullness of time
and the spirit?
453
00:19:21,905 --> 00:19:24,654
Most people don't, you know.
454
00:19:24,840 --> 00:19:28,070
It would be good, Mr. Noir,
if you would open your heart...
455
00:19:28,278 --> 00:19:31,180
to the fullness of time and the spirit...
456
00:19:31,382 --> 00:19:37,426
which upholds and sustains us all
through this world. Amen.
457
00:19:37,755 --> 00:19:39,129
Whatever you say.
458
00:19:42,726 --> 00:19:43,806
Hmm.
459
00:19:52,736 --> 00:19:55,638
d Waiting for love to come d
460
00:19:55,840 --> 00:19:58,328
d All is alive d
461
00:19:58,509 --> 00:20:01,543
d Birds sing with angel tongues d
462
00:20:01,746 --> 00:20:04,681
d Small stones like diamonds d
463
00:20:04,882 --> 00:20:08,079
d All down the drive d
464
00:20:08,286 --> 00:20:13,687
d Around the corner,
an old dog appears d
465
00:20:13,992 --> 00:20:16,927
d Sits in the summer sun d
466
00:20:17,128 --> 00:20:20,030
d Waiting for love to come d
467
00:20:20,233 --> 00:20:23,080
d Wish you were here d
468
00:20:23,268 --> 00:20:26,083
d Wish you were here d
469
00:20:26,271 --> 00:20:28,988
d Ooh d
470
00:20:31,643 --> 00:20:32,788
Thank you, boys.
471
00:20:34,814 --> 00:20:37,716
And the next week, we're back
doin' the county fair circuit...
472
00:20:37,917 --> 00:20:39,892
changin' our petticoats
in the ladies' toilet...
473
00:20:40,052 --> 00:20:41,426
and the boys tryin' to peek in.
474
00:20:41,554 --> 00:20:42,798
Ha ha ha!
475
00:20:42,922 --> 00:20:44,329
That was the only
good part about it.
476
00:20:44,458 --> 00:20:46,563
Then you have to go outdoors
and sing in the open air...
477
00:20:46,727 --> 00:20:49,116
with a cloud of mosquitoes
around your head.
478
00:20:49,295 --> 00:20:52,459
Remember that time...
honestly, Lola, honest to God...
479
00:20:52,665 --> 00:20:54,389
a dragonfly flew right in my mouth.
480
00:20:54,535 --> 00:20:55,483
Oh, yeah!
481
00:20:55,602 --> 00:20:58,220
It was this big.
I thought it was a bird.
482
00:20:58,405 --> 00:20:59,354
How old were you then?
483
00:20:59,474 --> 00:21:02,092
I was thirteen.
Your mother was ten.
484
00:21:02,276 --> 00:21:03,421
Wanda was what?
485
00:21:03,544 --> 00:21:07,089
Wanda was sixteen.
Connie, fifteen.
486
00:21:07,314 --> 00:21:08,743
Yep.
487
00:21:08,882 --> 00:21:10,737
That was the end of it.
The end of the road.
488
00:21:10,884 --> 00:21:13,088
That was a great...
489
00:21:13,254 --> 00:21:15,458
You know, Wanda took it
real hard, didn't she?
490
00:21:15,623 --> 00:21:17,925
A week later, she got arrested.
491
00:21:18,092 --> 00:21:20,231
For what?
You never told me this.
492
00:21:20,395 --> 00:21:22,598
Shoplifting, and I did tell you this.
493
00:21:22,764 --> 00:21:25,185
Mom, you're going senile.
You didn't tell me that.
494
00:21:25,366 --> 00:21:26,293
No...
495
00:21:26,402 --> 00:21:28,224
She was havin'
a cup of coffee in the cafe.
496
00:21:28,369 --> 00:21:29,579
She ordered a glazed doughnut.
497
00:21:29,704 --> 00:21:32,322
She started eatin' it
and she got a sugar rush.
498
00:21:32,507 --> 00:21:34,777
She was diagnosed hypoglycemic.
499
00:21:34,944 --> 00:21:36,831
And so, she forgets
she didn't pay for the doughnut...
500
00:21:36,978 --> 00:21:38,091
and she walks out the door.
501
00:21:38,213 --> 00:21:40,068
- It wasn't two minutes...
- But they arrested her for shopliftin'.
502
00:21:40,215 --> 00:21:42,964
The red lights are flashin'
and she's in handcuffs...
503
00:21:43,152 --> 00:21:44,678
- And they had a policeman there.
- And the cameras, the TV camera...
504
00:21:44,820 --> 00:21:47,057
- the station came right down.
- It was on the news.
505
00:21:47,222 --> 00:21:49,360
And her hair is, like, stickin' out like this
and she's bawlin'...
506
00:21:49,525 --> 00:21:51,533
and Daddy sees it
on the 10:00 newscast.
507
00:21:51,695 --> 00:21:53,483
'Cause he was
in the hospital with Mama.
508
00:21:53,629 --> 00:21:56,018
She was havin' her tubes tied
after Johnny was born.
509
00:21:56,198 --> 00:21:57,126
Thank you.
510
00:21:57,233 --> 00:21:59,534
- Didn't need to know that.
- Well.
511
00:21:59,703 --> 00:22:04,013
Daddy sees Wanda gettin' arrested
on TV for shoplifting.
512
00:22:04,273 --> 00:22:06,096
He has a major coronary occlusion.
513
00:22:06,242 --> 00:22:07,322
Yeah.
514
00:22:07,444 --> 00:22:10,193
He just climbed up into
the hospital bed with Mama...
515
00:22:10,380 --> 00:22:12,901
then he pulled the sheet
up over his own face...
516
00:22:13,084 --> 00:22:14,938
and when the nurse came in,
he was dead.
517
00:22:15,086 --> 00:22:17,257
That was it.
You know?
518
00:22:17,420 --> 00:22:20,998
He left a note, 'cause Wanda got
released from jail just for the funeral.
519
00:22:21,224 --> 00:22:24,573
He said, 'Wanda, you broke my heart.
Signed, Daddy.'
520
00:22:24,795 --> 00:22:27,664
She did thirty days
for one glazed doughnut.
521
00:22:27,865 --> 00:22:30,899
A 59-cent doughnut.
If it had been rock and roll...
522
00:22:31,102 --> 00:22:32,956
she could have
thrown sofas out of the window...
523
00:22:33,105 --> 00:22:35,177
hotel window.
No, not even her own sofa.
524
00:22:35,339 --> 00:22:37,706
She could throw somebody else's sofa
out the window.
525
00:22:37,875 --> 00:22:39,915
You don't know what kind
of passersby at the bottom.
526
00:22:40,077 --> 00:22:41,932
She could have been hittin' people.
It wouldn't have mattered.
527
00:22:42,079 --> 00:22:44,894
But when you're playin' to
Christian family audiences like we were...
528
00:22:45,083 --> 00:22:46,992
you so much as forget to pay
for a damn doughnut...
529
00:22:47,151 --> 00:22:49,224
they throw you out like
a piece of garbage.
530
00:22:49,388 --> 00:22:52,006
Sooner kill you than look at you.
531
00:22:52,190 --> 00:22:54,197
Some of those good people, eh?
532
00:22:54,359 --> 00:22:57,708
The Soderberg family selling out!
533
00:22:57,929 --> 00:23:00,100
I just do not get it.
534
00:23:00,265 --> 00:23:01,825
I mean, they've owned WLT...
535
00:23:01,967 --> 00:23:04,302
since they ran it
out of a sandwich shop.
536
00:23:04,470 --> 00:23:06,292
I mean, that's what the call letters
stand for, you know.
537
00:23:06,438 --> 00:23:08,610
'With Lettuce and Tomato.'
Did you know that?
538
00:23:08,775 --> 00:23:10,847
I mean, how do you just walk away
from somethin' like that?
539
00:23:11,010 --> 00:23:12,668
I mean, what are we?
Used Kleenex?
540
00:23:12,812 --> 00:23:14,754
They got old, babe.
541
00:23:14,914 --> 00:23:17,980
They started thinking
about ease and comfort.
542
00:23:18,184 --> 00:23:23,072
Then, I figure, they saw a brochure
about an island with palm trees...
543
00:23:23,356 --> 00:23:27,285
and an azure sky
and miles of sand...
544
00:23:27,527 --> 00:23:29,600
and they thought, 'Hey! Ha ha!
545
00:23:29,763 --> 00:23:34,018
'We don't have to suffer through
these miserable Minnesota winters.
546
00:23:34,267 --> 00:23:37,563
'We don't have to freeze our butts off
waiting for our bus to come.
547
00:23:37,771 --> 00:23:42,277
'Our bus has come. It's here.
We'll leave the business to the kids...
548
00:23:42,543 --> 00:23:45,129
'and we'll head for paradise
and to hell with it.'
549
00:23:45,312 --> 00:23:46,239
Only trouble is...
550
00:23:46,347 --> 00:23:49,642
the kids had already gone down
to paradise ahead of them.
551
00:23:49,850 --> 00:23:52,217
So then, a big corporation
down in Texas...
552
00:23:52,386 --> 00:23:55,288
offered them
a gazillion dollars for it.
553
00:23:55,489 --> 00:23:57,278
Texans.
554
00:23:57,425 --> 00:23:58,919
Sure.
555
00:23:59,060 --> 00:24:00,783
They talk funny
and their eyes don't focus...
556
00:24:00,928 --> 00:24:03,776
and their flesh is rotting
and falling off...
557
00:24:03,965 --> 00:24:07,926
but hey. You know. So what?
558
00:24:08,169 --> 00:24:12,359
Yeah, nobody's perfect and, uh...
money is money...
559
00:24:12,607 --> 00:24:14,974
so, the Soderbergs took the dough.
End of story.
560
00:24:15,143 --> 00:24:16,670
Do you have any tweezers?
561
00:24:16,812 --> 00:24:20,008
Egg salad or ham salad?
562
00:24:20,215 --> 00:24:21,776
Why are you crying?
563
00:24:21,917 --> 00:24:24,372
Well, it's the last show.
564
00:24:24,553 --> 00:24:28,033
I'm never going to see
these people again.
565
00:24:28,257 --> 00:24:29,304
You'll see them again.
566
00:24:29,425 --> 00:24:32,175
I knew all of them from the old days.
567
00:24:32,361 --> 00:24:36,190
Soupy and Red, Ray.
568
00:24:36,432 --> 00:24:39,018
And Helen.
569
00:24:39,202 --> 00:24:41,307
Gone and forgotten.
570
00:24:41,471 --> 00:24:43,642
Every sparrow is remembered.
571
00:24:46,510 --> 00:24:49,805
I don't even know if they're gonna
make a speech or anything.
572
00:24:50,013 --> 00:24:52,217
It doesn't seem right, does it?
573
00:24:52,382 --> 00:24:53,309
No.
574
00:24:53,416 --> 00:24:57,409
Some big company come in
and steps on us...
575
00:24:57,654 --> 00:24:59,891
like we were bugs at the picnic.
576
00:25:04,561 --> 00:25:07,409
What's in ham salad?
577
00:25:07,598 --> 00:25:12,267
I... I can't remember the word. It was...
578
00:25:12,536 --> 00:25:14,806
May I...
579
00:25:14,972 --> 00:25:16,695
Maybe...
580
00:25:16,841 --> 00:25:17,769
Mayo?
581
00:25:17,875 --> 00:25:21,191
Mayonnaise.
582
00:25:21,412 --> 00:25:23,005
Mayonnaise.
583
00:25:23,147 --> 00:25:27,271
Well, it's an end of an era
when this show goes, guys.
584
00:25:27,519 --> 00:25:29,461
There won't be anything left
on the radio except what?
585
00:25:29,621 --> 00:25:32,206
People yellin' at you
and computers playing music.
586
00:25:32,390 --> 00:25:33,852
I mean, it's a tragedy.
587
00:25:33,992 --> 00:25:35,006
I wasn't gonna tell you this...
588
00:25:35,127 --> 00:25:37,549
but between you and me
and the fly on the wall...
589
00:25:37,729 --> 00:25:40,925
there's a woman on the premises who
I think, maybe, is gonna save our bacon.
590
00:25:41,133 --> 00:25:42,082
Hmm?
591
00:25:42,201 --> 00:25:43,543
She's got that look about her.
592
00:25:43,669 --> 00:25:44,618
Who is she?
593
00:25:44,737 --> 00:25:47,322
I'm not sure. I'm still working
on figuring that one out.
594
00:25:47,506 --> 00:25:49,295
Just close your eyes
for a second.
595
00:25:49,442 --> 00:25:51,165
She from NorComm?
596
00:25:51,310 --> 00:25:52,488
Time will tell.
597
00:25:52,612 --> 00:25:57,347
I'll just let personal charm
and dashing good looks do their work.
598
00:25:57,617 --> 00:25:59,788
She walked in,
couldn't take her eyes off me.
599
00:25:59,953 --> 00:26:02,506
Drawn to me like a moth to the flame.
600
00:26:02,856 --> 00:26:04,711
Every time there's
a triumph in the world...
601
00:26:04,824 --> 00:26:07,377
a million souls have to be trampled on.
602
00:26:07,560 --> 00:26:10,211
And right there... you can see it
right in the damn carpet.
603
00:26:10,397 --> 00:26:12,698
What does that have
to do with anything?
604
00:26:12,866 --> 00:26:14,689
Mama. She l... she went...
605
00:26:14,835 --> 00:26:15,947
She went up to the...
606
00:26:16,069 --> 00:26:18,044
It was a lot for Mama to put up with.
607
00:26:18,205 --> 00:26:20,409
We had to shovel her into
the Good Shepherd Home.
608
00:26:20,574 --> 00:26:22,297
That's it.
That was the sad day.
609
00:26:22,443 --> 00:26:23,850
Connie quit the act.
610
00:26:23,978 --> 00:26:25,539
God, we'd already lost Wanda.
611
00:26:25,679 --> 00:26:26,856
Wanda was like magic.
612
00:26:26,981 --> 00:26:28,672
The four of us,
when we were together...
613
00:26:28,816 --> 00:26:30,027
- she was singin'.
- She was...
614
00:26:30,151 --> 00:26:31,907
And next to you, I'm tellin' you...
615
00:26:32,053 --> 00:26:33,263
you've followed in her footsteps.
616
00:26:33,387 --> 00:26:35,492
You are the same...
the same talent.
617
00:26:35,656 --> 00:26:36,965
No. I don't know about that.
618
00:26:37,091 --> 00:26:38,302
So, now, it's just the two of us.
619
00:26:38,426 --> 00:26:39,800
Yep. Just the two of us.
620
00:26:39,928 --> 00:26:43,027
You know what?
It was your dad got us on the radio.
621
00:26:43,231 --> 00:26:45,620
God, that was
a good-lookin' family!
622
00:26:45,800 --> 00:26:47,654
I can understand you
goin' for that guy.
623
00:26:47,802 --> 00:26:49,656
Yeah, he sang like an angel.
624
00:26:49,805 --> 00:26:52,325
He sang...
625
00:26:52,507 --> 00:26:56,697
d Softly and tenderly d
626
00:26:56,945 --> 00:27:00,393
d Jesus is calling d
627
00:27:00,616 --> 00:27:07,206
d Callin' for you and for me d
628
00:27:07,556 --> 00:27:09,825
d See on the portal d
629
00:27:09,992 --> 00:27:13,767
d He's waiting and watching d
630
00:27:13,996 --> 00:27:19,844
d Watching for you and for me d
631
00:27:20,170 --> 00:27:22,658
d Come home d
632
00:27:22,839 --> 00:27:26,352
d Come home d
633
00:27:26,575 --> 00:27:33,765
d Ye who are weary, come home d
634
00:27:34,151 --> 00:27:37,282
Hmm-mmm.
635
00:27:37,488 --> 00:27:40,586
Singing is the only thing
that puts me right.
636
00:27:40,791 --> 00:27:44,719
Hmm-mmm.
637
00:27:45,563 --> 00:27:47,024
d Well, Charlie, you're a good ol' boy d
638
00:27:47,131 --> 00:27:48,789
d Charlie, you're all right d
639
00:27:48,933 --> 00:27:50,427
d Charlie, open up the store d
640
00:27:50,568 --> 00:27:52,291
d We're comin' down tonight d
641
00:27:52,437 --> 00:27:54,128
d Out where you can see the stars d
642
00:27:54,272 --> 00:27:55,549
d And the living's slow d
643
00:27:55,673 --> 00:27:57,560
d We'll eat potluck and pool guitars d
644
00:27:57,709 --> 00:27:59,302
d Down on Old Plank Road d
645
00:27:59,444 --> 00:28:01,037
d Ohh d
646
00:28:01,179 --> 00:28:02,586
d Down on Old Plank Road d
647
00:28:02,714 --> 00:28:04,569
d We'll eat potluck and pool guitars d
648
00:28:04,716 --> 00:28:06,658
d Down on Old Plank Road d
649
00:28:06,818 --> 00:28:08,029
d Come home d
650
00:28:08,153 --> 00:28:12,047
d Come home d
651
00:28:12,291 --> 00:28:18,882
d Ye who are weary, come home d
652
00:28:19,231 --> 00:28:21,053
Hold it. Are we on?
653
00:28:21,200 --> 00:28:22,215
Uh, not yet.
You've got a few minutes.
654
00:28:22,334 --> 00:28:23,316
What are we doin'?
655
00:28:23,436 --> 00:28:26,949
You're on in the Powdermilk segment
doing Gold Watch and Chain with him.
656
00:28:27,173 --> 00:28:29,693
We haven't done that for years.
657
00:28:29,876 --> 00:28:34,066
d I'll pawn you my gold watch
and chain, love d
658
00:28:34,314 --> 00:28:37,697
d I'll pawn you my gold wedding ring... d
659
00:28:37,916 --> 00:28:38,844
Excuse me.
660
00:28:38,952 --> 00:28:41,156
I gotta get a head start
on gettin' pie-eyed tonight.
661
00:28:41,321 --> 00:28:44,354
d This heart in my bosom d
662
00:28:44,558 --> 00:28:49,413
d Only say that you'll love me again d
663
00:28:49,696 --> 00:28:51,103
How about Red River Valley?
664
00:28:51,231 --> 00:28:53,817
Fine. Whatever you'd like.
665
00:28:54,001 --> 00:28:59,238
I would just like there to be
a spot for Lola on the show later.
666
00:28:59,540 --> 00:29:02,988
I hope so.
If there's time.
667
00:29:03,210 --> 00:29:05,860
Well, this isn't really gonna be
your last show, is it?
668
00:29:06,047 --> 00:29:07,935
Every show's your last show.
669
00:29:08,082 --> 00:29:09,838
That's my philosophy.
670
00:29:09,984 --> 00:29:13,367
Thank you, Plato.
Kierkegaard.
671
00:29:14,923 --> 00:29:16,232
Button up, would ya?
672
00:29:16,357 --> 00:29:18,746
I am. That's as far as it goes.
673
00:29:22,497 --> 00:29:24,187
d Well, sister and her oldest girl d
674
00:29:24,331 --> 00:29:26,120
d They sing so good together d
675
00:29:26,268 --> 00:29:27,675
d Jason, he can make me laugh d
676
00:29:27,803 --> 00:29:29,625
d And he just keeps gettin' better d
677
00:29:29,771 --> 00:29:31,429
d Claire has got a sweet new one d
678
00:29:31,573 --> 00:29:32,915
d About her, Timmy-o d
679
00:29:33,041 --> 00:29:34,928
d And John is everybody's man d
680
00:29:35,077 --> 00:29:36,354
d Down on Old Plank Road d
681
00:29:36,745 --> 00:29:38,567
d Ohh d
682
00:29:38,713 --> 00:29:39,990
d Down on Old Plank Road d
683
00:29:40,115 --> 00:29:45,898
Hey, uh... can you tell potato face here
that his butt is too big for his pants...
684
00:29:46,222 --> 00:29:48,164
and people can see his crack...
685
00:29:48,324 --> 00:29:51,291
and it ain't nothin' any normal person
would ever care to look at?
686
00:29:51,494 --> 00:29:52,442
Where?
687
00:29:52,562 --> 00:29:54,984
In the back.
That's where your crack is.
688
00:29:55,165 --> 00:29:56,092
Well, I don't see nothin'.
689
00:29:56,199 --> 00:29:58,566
- Hey, Molly.
- Don't talk to me.
690
00:29:58,734 --> 00:29:59,847
Am I decent back there?
691
00:29:59,970 --> 00:30:02,206
Don't ask me.
I'm not your mother.
692
00:30:02,371 --> 00:30:05,186
You might be decent
if you lost 25 pounds of ugly fat.
693
00:30:05,374 --> 00:30:08,124
And I might suggest
cuttin' off your head.
694
00:30:08,312 --> 00:30:10,483
She showed me her tattoo once.
695
00:30:10,646 --> 00:30:11,956
Hell she did.
696
00:30:12,082 --> 00:30:13,772
On her shoulder.
697
00:30:13,916 --> 00:30:15,477
You're lyin' through your teeth.
698
00:30:15,619 --> 00:30:16,699
Left shoulder.
Right here.
699
00:30:16,820 --> 00:30:18,674
- That ain't the shoulder.
- Whatever you want to call it.
700
00:30:18,823 --> 00:30:19,805
I'd call it the clavicle.
701
00:30:19,923 --> 00:30:21,036
OK, well, why don't you
ask her about it?
702
00:30:21,158 --> 00:30:22,205
Maybe she'll let you have a look.
703
00:30:22,326 --> 00:30:23,853
Well, what did it say?
704
00:30:23,995 --> 00:30:25,140
It said, 'Freedom.'
705
00:30:25,263 --> 00:30:27,118
Fr... Now I know you're lyin'.
706
00:30:27,265 --> 00:30:29,599
Come on. We gotta put out the CDs.
707
00:30:29,766 --> 00:30:32,384
Come on, niece.
708
00:30:32,569 --> 00:30:34,479
Hey. Molly.
709
00:30:34,639 --> 00:30:36,461
Molly, here.
Take these out front.
710
00:30:36,608 --> 00:30:40,252
Did you hear about the Soderbergs
sellin' the radio station?
711
00:30:40,478 --> 00:30:42,517
I heard all about it.
712
00:30:42,680 --> 00:30:44,022
Are you OK?
713
00:30:44,149 --> 00:30:47,084
Yes, of course.
Hmm?
714
00:30:47,286 --> 00:30:49,108
Kind of a bizarre feeling, isn't it?
715
00:30:49,254 --> 00:30:51,425
- What?
- The silence.
716
00:30:51,589 --> 00:30:53,378
What?
717
00:30:53,525 --> 00:30:55,467
Well...
718
00:30:55,628 --> 00:30:57,057
you're gonna say somethin' about it.
719
00:30:57,196 --> 00:30:58,538
You're gonna talk
to the people, aren't you?
720
00:30:58,664 --> 00:31:01,315
Say, 'Thanks for listening,'
or something.
721
00:31:01,500 --> 00:31:02,645
Yeah, you know.
722
00:31:02,768 --> 00:31:03,716
I don't think so.
723
00:31:03,836 --> 00:31:04,916
Why not?
Say, 'Thank you.'
724
00:31:05,037 --> 00:31:06,630
What?
725
00:31:06,773 --> 00:31:09,042
I'm just not into making big speeches.
726
00:31:09,208 --> 00:31:10,386
What do you do when you
leave somebody's house?
727
00:31:10,510 --> 00:31:11,557
You don't just turn around...
728
00:31:11,678 --> 00:31:14,198
I don't make a big speech.
A big weepy speech.
729
00:31:14,380 --> 00:31:18,090
Oh, that's it!
You're afraid that you're gonna cry!
730
00:31:18,318 --> 00:31:19,528
I wouldn't.
731
00:31:19,653 --> 00:31:22,523
Yeah, that's right.
That's true. You wouldn't.
732
00:31:22,721 --> 00:31:26,496
And you know, that's why, I think,
that our romance was so short.
733
00:31:26,726 --> 00:31:29,726
Because I knew that when we broke up,
you would not cry...
734
00:31:29,930 --> 00:31:31,818
so, I got way over it.
735
00:31:33,767 --> 00:31:34,814
Does that make sense to you?
736
00:31:34,935 --> 00:31:35,863
No, not at all.
737
00:31:35,970 --> 00:31:39,864
Bebopareebop Frozen Rhubarb Pie
and Frozen Rhubarb Pie Filling.
738
00:31:40,106 --> 00:31:44,035
Wouldn't this be a good time
for a piece of rhubarb pie?
739
00:31:44,277 --> 00:31:46,666
d Yes, one little thing can revive a guy d
740
00:31:46,847 --> 00:31:49,051
d And that is a piece of rhubarb pie d
741
00:31:49,217 --> 00:31:51,584
d Serve it up, nice and hot d
742
00:31:51,752 --> 00:31:53,891
d Maybe things aren't
as bad as you thought d
743
00:31:54,055 --> 00:31:56,291
d Mammy's little baby
loves rhubarb, rhubarb d
744
00:31:56,458 --> 00:31:58,530
d Bebopareebop Rhubarb Pie d
745
00:31:58,693 --> 00:32:00,930
d Mama's little baby
loves rhubarb, rhubarb d
746
00:32:01,096 --> 00:32:03,267
d Bebopareebop Rhubarb Pie d
747
00:32:03,432 --> 00:32:05,287
d Bebopareebop Rhubarb Pie d
748
00:32:05,434 --> 00:32:07,889
Yes, Bebopareebop Rhubarb Pie.
749
00:32:08,070 --> 00:32:09,248
And now, for Bebopareebop...
750
00:32:09,371 --> 00:32:12,338
please welcome one of radio's
great singing families...
751
00:32:12,541 --> 00:32:15,290
the Johnson Girls,
Rhonda and Yolanda.
752
00:32:16,578 --> 00:32:18,302
- Hi, everybody.
- Hi.
753
00:32:18,580 --> 00:32:21,876
Oh, thank you. Thank you!
Thank you very much.
754
00:32:22,084 --> 00:32:25,467
I just want to say right away
how happy I am...
755
00:32:25,687 --> 00:32:29,103
that my daughter Lola
is here tonight.
756
00:32:29,324 --> 00:32:30,601
- Come on, Lola.
- Oh! Thank you, sweetheart.
757
00:32:30,727 --> 00:32:31,709
They want to see you.
758
00:32:31,828 --> 00:32:33,770
It means a lot to me that you came.
759
00:32:33,930 --> 00:32:37,159
Yeah, I named my little girl Lola
after our own mother.
760
00:32:37,367 --> 00:32:38,349
Yeah, Lola was our mom.
761
00:32:38,468 --> 00:32:43,105
Lola. And tonight,
we're gonna sing...
762
00:32:43,373 --> 00:32:46,406
an old song that our mother loved.
763
00:32:46,609 --> 00:32:47,820
Oh, it's one of her favorites.
764
00:32:47,945 --> 00:32:50,814
Yep. She was our inspiration.
765
00:32:51,015 --> 00:32:52,259
Some of you know this story...
766
00:32:52,383 --> 00:32:57,271
but she's the main reason
that we started makin' music originally...
767
00:32:57,554 --> 00:33:01,199
because you know she...
768
00:33:01,425 --> 00:33:03,880
it was the only way we knew
to make her happy.
769
00:33:04,062 --> 00:33:07,706
She'd be down on the kitchen floor
scrubbin' on her knees.
770
00:33:07,931 --> 00:33:10,965
But if you stood in the doorway
and you sang a song that she liked...
771
00:33:11,169 --> 00:33:14,016
why, she would just look up and smile.
772
00:33:14,204 --> 00:33:16,790
Ha ha!
Worn out as she was...
773
00:33:16,975 --> 00:33:20,520
it was a smile as wide
as the Mississippi. Heh heh.
774
00:33:22,714 --> 00:33:23,641
Down at the mouth.
775
00:33:23,748 --> 00:33:26,236
Not so slow, you sons of bitches.
I'll break your necks.
776
00:33:26,418 --> 00:33:27,530
- Yeah.
- I mean it.
777
00:33:27,652 --> 00:33:29,540
And you could see her gold tooth.
778
00:33:31,856 --> 00:33:37,191
d Way down upon
that old Mississippi River d
779
00:33:37,495 --> 00:33:42,383
d Not so far away d
780
00:33:42,667 --> 00:33:47,785
d That's where my folks
have lived forever d
781
00:33:48,074 --> 00:33:53,344
d And that's where I'm going to stay d
782
00:33:53,647 --> 00:33:59,081
d I been searchin'
'cross the whole creation d
783
00:33:59,386 --> 00:34:02,647
d Half my life or more d
784
00:34:02,856 --> 00:34:05,059
d And more d
785
00:34:05,225 --> 00:34:10,047
d But I found
my own sweet satisfaction d
786
00:34:10,330 --> 00:34:15,448
d Right here on that muddy river shore d
787
00:34:15,736 --> 00:34:20,471
d All the world is so sad and dreary d
788
00:34:20,741 --> 00:34:26,589
d Everywhere I roam d
789
00:34:26,914 --> 00:34:28,507
- # Oh d
- # Oh, Mama d
790
00:34:28,649 --> 00:34:32,162
d Mama, how I miss the prairie d
791
00:34:32,387 --> 00:34:38,104
d And my Minnesota home d
792
00:34:38,427 --> 00:34:43,664
I can see my mama's sweet, sweet face
every Sunday morning.
793
00:34:43,966 --> 00:34:48,374
All the good old hymns, praise God,
that we've sung.
794
00:34:48,636 --> 00:34:53,721
We knelt in prayer right beside
our precious aunts and uncles...
795
00:34:54,008 --> 00:34:59,704
d Who loved us when we were young d
796
00:35:00,015 --> 00:35:02,187
d In the valley of darkness d
797
00:35:02,352 --> 00:35:05,003
d They are the shepherds d
798
00:35:05,188 --> 00:35:10,457
d Who lead me to pastures green d
799
00:35:10,759 --> 00:35:13,028
d And I'll sit with my mama d
800
00:35:13,196 --> 00:35:16,098
d By the still, still waters d
801
00:35:16,298 --> 00:35:21,383
d And goodness and mercy follow me d
802
00:35:21,671 --> 00:35:24,355
d I floated down d
803
00:35:24,541 --> 00:35:27,159
d The Columbia and the Hudson d
804
00:35:27,343 --> 00:35:32,580
d Walked on the banks of the Ohio d
805
00:35:32,882 --> 00:35:35,053
d On the banks of the Wabash d
806
00:35:35,219 --> 00:35:37,739
d And the mighty Colorado d
807
00:35:37,922 --> 00:35:43,323
d And the old Red River way up north d
808
00:35:43,627 --> 00:35:45,154
d All the world d
809
00:35:45,296 --> 00:35:48,908
d It is a world of rivers d
810
00:35:49,134 --> 00:35:52,581
d Flowing to the sea d
811
00:35:52,803 --> 00:35:54,811
d Yeah d
812
00:35:54,972 --> 00:35:59,162
d But here on that old Mississippi d
813
00:35:59,411 --> 00:36:03,567
d Here is the home for you and me d
814
00:36:03,815 --> 00:36:05,092
Come on, bring it home!
815
00:36:05,217 --> 00:36:07,322
d All the world d
816
00:36:07,486 --> 00:36:10,301
d It is so sad and dreary d
817
00:36:10,489 --> 00:36:14,962
d Everywhere I roam d
818
00:36:15,228 --> 00:36:16,340
d Oh, oh, oh d
819
00:36:16,461 --> 00:36:18,403
d Oh, Mama d
820
00:36:18,563 --> 00:36:22,720
d How I missed the prairie d
821
00:36:22,969 --> 00:36:24,213
d E-e-e d
822
00:36:24,337 --> 00:36:25,995
- Ha ha.
- Ha ha.
823
00:36:26,138 --> 00:36:31,834
d And my Minnesota d
824
00:36:32,144 --> 00:36:38,124
d Home d
825
00:36:46,392 --> 00:36:47,985
The Johnson Girls, thank you.
826
00:36:48,128 --> 00:36:49,884
Brought to you
by Powdermilk Biscuits...
827
00:36:50,029 --> 00:36:52,396
in the big blue box with the picture
of the biscuit on the cover.
828
00:36:52,567 --> 00:36:53,744
Heavens, they're tasty.
829
00:36:53,867 --> 00:36:55,045
And expeditious.
830
00:36:55,168 --> 00:36:57,688
Also brought to you
by Mel's Big Boy Buffet.
831
00:36:57,871 --> 00:36:59,878
Why pay more for fancy food...
832
00:37:00,040 --> 00:37:03,750
when what you really want
is meatloaf, squash...
833
00:37:04,044 --> 00:37:05,800
mashed potatoes, and bread pudding...
834
00:37:05,946 --> 00:37:09,656
all at Mel's Big Boy Buffet
for just 4.99.
835
00:37:09,884 --> 00:37:11,095
Yes, you heard me right.
836
00:37:11,219 --> 00:37:13,837
$4.99.
837
00:37:14,022 --> 00:37:15,582
Let's bring out Mr. Chuck Akers here...
838
00:37:15,723 --> 00:37:18,538
Mr. Chuck Akers, come out here
and give us a song.
839
00:37:18,726 --> 00:37:21,377
The sweet singer of Kandiyohi County...
840
00:37:21,563 --> 00:37:24,083
the heartthrob
of mature women everywhere.
841
00:37:24,265 --> 00:37:26,534
My good friend, Mr. Chuck Akers.
842
00:37:26,701 --> 00:37:27,749
Good to see you, sir.
843
00:37:27,870 --> 00:37:28,797
Thank you, sir.
844
00:37:28,903 --> 00:37:32,481
Uh, we would like to bring a song
to all of our fans.
845
00:37:32,707 --> 00:37:35,228
Now, that's kind of tough to do,
'cause we're all over the place.
846
00:37:35,411 --> 00:37:37,418
Take me.
Yeah, I've bounced all over.
847
00:37:37,580 --> 00:37:42,468
I've done tent shows, schoolhouses,
uh, parkin' lots...
848
00:37:42,751 --> 00:37:46,199
the back of trucks,
movie theaters, auditoriums.
849
00:37:46,423 --> 00:37:48,113
I've even done churches.
850
00:37:48,257 --> 00:37:49,784
Now, that's hard to believe, I know.
851
00:37:49,925 --> 00:37:51,747
Anyway, this song is for you.
852
00:37:51,895 --> 00:37:54,797
And we mean every word of it,
all right?
853
00:37:54,997 --> 00:37:56,372
Sic 'em.
854
00:37:57,733 --> 00:37:58,878
d Hmm d
855
00:37:59,001 --> 00:38:00,408
d Do do do do d
856
00:38:00,537 --> 00:38:02,544
d My bark of life d
857
00:38:02,706 --> 00:38:04,942
d Was tossin' down d
858
00:38:05,108 --> 00:38:09,037
d The troubled stream of time d
859
00:38:09,279 --> 00:38:11,068
d When first I saw d
860
00:38:11,214 --> 00:38:13,189
d Your smilin' face d
861
00:38:13,351 --> 00:38:17,213
d And youth was in its prime d
862
00:38:17,455 --> 00:38:19,691
d Oh, I'll ne'er forget d
863
00:38:19,857 --> 00:38:22,159
d Where'er I roam d
864
00:38:22,326 --> 00:38:26,352
d Wherever you may be d
865
00:38:26,597 --> 00:38:28,485
d If ever I d
866
00:38:28,633 --> 00:38:30,520
d Have had a friend d
867
00:38:30,668 --> 00:38:33,930
d You've been that friend to me d
868
00:38:34,138 --> 00:38:35,066
- Hey, Lola.
- Hi.
869
00:38:35,172 --> 00:38:37,692
Heard you're gonna sing a song for us,
lookin' forward to that.
870
00:38:37,875 --> 00:38:39,817
Oh, no. I don't... maybe.
871
00:38:39,977 --> 00:38:41,439
Well, it sure would mean
the world to your mom.
872
00:38:41,580 --> 00:38:42,986
She always said you had talent.
873
00:38:43,115 --> 00:38:45,482
Yeah, I don't... I don't really know
any of their songs.
874
00:38:45,651 --> 00:38:46,992
I only know my own songs.
875
00:38:47,119 --> 00:38:48,526
Well, sing one of them then.
876
00:38:48,654 --> 00:38:50,759
They're mostly about death.
877
00:38:50,922 --> 00:38:52,449
Oh.
878
00:38:52,591 --> 00:38:54,958
Well, lotta good songs about death.
879
00:38:55,128 --> 00:38:57,331
All mine are about suicide.
880
00:38:57,497 --> 00:38:59,220
Oh.
881
00:38:59,364 --> 00:39:02,942
Yeah, you know, um,
hangin' yourself with an extension cord...
882
00:39:03,168 --> 00:39:05,819
- carbon monoxide, overdose...
- Hey, ahem...
883
00:39:06,005 --> 00:39:09,617
you know, we could do, uh,
Amazing Grace together.
884
00:39:09,842 --> 00:39:10,954
I know Amazing Grace.
885
00:39:11,077 --> 00:39:12,255
Yeah?
Well, hey, look.
886
00:39:12,378 --> 00:39:14,233
I'll play the guitar,
we'll sing it together...
887
00:39:14,380 --> 00:39:15,307
we'll bring this house down.
888
00:39:15,415 --> 00:39:16,342
You know, I don't know
if you knew this...
889
00:39:16,449 --> 00:39:18,271
- about my friend Dusty here...
- Hey, hey.
890
00:39:18,419 --> 00:39:21,069
But he learned to sing gospel music
in San Quentin.
891
00:39:21,255 --> 00:39:22,432
And full shush.
892
00:39:22,555 --> 00:39:23,504
Yes sir, that's where I met him.
893
00:39:23,623 --> 00:39:25,085
I was with Johnny Cash,
singin' in prisons.
894
00:39:25,225 --> 00:39:26,240
Shut the pie hole.
895
00:39:26,359 --> 00:39:27,734
There were all these
heinous, depraved criminals...
896
00:39:27,861 --> 00:39:29,803
- And well...
- Liar, liar. Whatever, moron.
897
00:39:29,963 --> 00:39:31,010
He sang Amazing Grace...
898
00:39:31,131 --> 00:39:33,684
and it almost made you forget
what he'd done.
899
00:39:33,867 --> 00:39:35,274
Which I don't wanna talk about.
900
00:39:35,402 --> 00:39:37,736
You know, you are so dumb,
you may be twins.
901
00:39:37,906 --> 00:39:40,426
He made me promise on a Bible
that I would never tell, and I won't.
902
00:39:40,607 --> 00:39:42,746
So let that be the end of it.
Let me just say this, though.
903
00:39:42,911 --> 00:39:44,536
Watch out for hugs.
904
00:39:45,946 --> 00:39:47,091
Heh!
905
00:39:47,214 --> 00:39:48,425
Right.
906
00:39:48,550 --> 00:39:50,338
d If ever I d
907
00:39:50,484 --> 00:39:52,786
d Have had a friend d
908
00:39:52,954 --> 00:39:54,896
d You've been that friend d
909
00:39:55,056 --> 00:39:57,325
- # To me d
- # To me d
910
00:39:57,492 --> 00:39:59,859
d If ever I d
911
00:40:00,028 --> 00:40:03,028
d Have had a friend d
912
00:40:03,231 --> 00:40:06,198
d You've been that friend to me d
913
00:40:07,402 --> 00:40:08,646
Thank you. Thank you.
914
00:40:10,405 --> 00:40:11,518
Thank you, G.K.
915
00:40:12,774 --> 00:40:14,814
Mr. Chuck Akers!
916
00:40:14,977 --> 00:40:16,471
Thank you, Chuck.
917
00:40:16,612 --> 00:40:18,139
Robin and Linda Williams.
918
00:40:18,614 --> 00:40:20,370
Let's come in here now
with a word about ketchup.
919
00:40:20,516 --> 00:40:24,346
Yes, ketchup, made from tomatoes
that contain natural sunshine...
920
00:40:24,588 --> 00:40:26,922
which we need in this part
of the country.
921
00:40:27,089 --> 00:40:28,463
We are not a sunshiny people.
922
00:40:28,592 --> 00:40:30,795
We're not a paradise people
or a beach people.
923
00:40:30,960 --> 00:40:32,389
We are dark people.
924
00:40:32,528 --> 00:40:34,601
People who believed it could be worse.
925
00:40:34,765 --> 00:40:36,903
And we're waiting
for it to become worse.
926
00:40:37,066 --> 00:40:39,433
We come from people
who brought us up to believe...
927
00:40:39,602 --> 00:40:41,577
that life is a struggle...
928
00:40:41,738 --> 00:40:43,778
and if you should
ever feel really happy...
929
00:40:43,940 --> 00:40:46,176
be patient. This will pass.
930
00:40:46,343 --> 00:40:47,456
- Ha ha ha.
- So we could...
931
00:40:47,577 --> 00:40:48,504
When do you guys go on?
932
00:40:48,612 --> 00:40:52,736
As soon as ol' spud butt here
shuts his yapper.
933
00:40:52,983 --> 00:40:54,129
Thanks for the encouragement.
934
00:40:54,252 --> 00:40:56,139
Hey, you are gonna be great.
Give me a hug.
935
00:40:56,286 --> 00:40:56,984
All right, guys.
936
00:40:57,321 --> 00:40:58,499
More show in just a moment...
937
00:40:58,622 --> 00:41:01,110
but let's come in here now
with a word about shoes!
938
00:41:01,292 --> 00:41:03,332
That's Guy's Shoes. Boys...
939
00:41:03,494 --> 00:41:05,796
d Talkin' shoes d
940
00:41:05,963 --> 00:41:07,621
d Talkin' Guy's d
941
00:41:07,765 --> 00:41:11,540
d Any two, any size d
942
00:41:11,769 --> 00:41:13,776
d From your ankles to your toes d
943
00:41:13,938 --> 00:41:15,793
d At the bottom of your clothes d
944
00:41:15,940 --> 00:41:17,664
d You're talkin' shoes d
945
00:41:17,810 --> 00:41:19,239
d Talkin' Guy's d
946
00:41:20,478 --> 00:41:22,333
Yes, Guy's Shoes.
They're made to last.
947
00:41:22,480 --> 00:41:25,328
Ask about those Guy's Cash Shoes,
with the hole in the soles...
948
00:41:25,517 --> 00:41:28,299
so you stash your cash
when you're out on the trail.
949
00:41:28,487 --> 00:41:29,567
Isn't that right, Lefty?
950
00:41:29,688 --> 00:41:30,932
That's where I keep mine, G.K.
951
00:41:31,056 --> 00:41:32,365
All right.
Let's welcome 'em now...
952
00:41:32,491 --> 00:41:33,920
the old trail hands here...
953
00:41:34,059 --> 00:41:37,354
the Pachelbels of the prairie,
the Brahmses of the bunkhouse...
954
00:41:37,564 --> 00:41:39,189
here they are,
Dusty and Lefty.
955
00:41:39,331 --> 00:41:41,186
- Good to have you with us.
- Well, thank you, Garrison.
956
00:41:41,333 --> 00:41:42,893
Yes sir, it's good to be back on the show...
957
00:41:43,035 --> 00:41:45,752
because, you know, it gets
mighty lonesome out there on the prairie.
958
00:41:45,938 --> 00:41:48,459
And a cowboy gets
tired of scenery after a while.
959
00:41:48,641 --> 00:41:51,575
You get, well,
sceneried out, and uh...
960
00:41:51,778 --> 00:41:55,095
sort of wish you had
somebody to talk to.
961
00:41:55,315 --> 00:41:56,243
Somebody smart.
962
00:41:56,349 --> 00:41:57,276
- Hmm.
- Ha ha ha.
963
00:41:57,383 --> 00:42:00,732
So you're lonesome for people, huh?
964
00:42:00,954 --> 00:42:02,710
Well, you know, it's true, Garrison.
965
00:42:02,857 --> 00:42:06,152
And, uh, it-it ain't the same
just talkin' to your horse.
966
00:42:06,359 --> 00:42:08,050
My horse is extremely smart.
967
00:42:08,195 --> 00:42:10,399
Uh, he knows math.
968
00:42:10,564 --> 00:42:13,019
He knows physics and chemistry...
969
00:42:13,200 --> 00:42:15,339
but I can't seem
to teach him philosophy.
970
00:42:15,502 --> 00:42:17,062
Can't teach him philosophy, eh?
971
00:42:17,204 --> 00:42:19,375
Well, no. You can't put Descartes
before the horse.
972
00:42:19,540 --> 00:42:20,468
- Aw...
- Ha ha ha.
973
00:42:20,574 --> 00:42:21,654
That was a good one, you know?
974
00:42:22,878 --> 00:42:25,049
Well, what do you reckon
we sing a song, Dusty?
975
00:42:25,212 --> 00:42:26,422
Well, let's do it, Lefty.
976
00:42:26,547 --> 00:42:28,369
One, two, you know what to do.
977
00:42:33,721 --> 00:42:35,510
d I'm just an old cowboy d
978
00:42:35,657 --> 00:42:37,413
d With twigs in my hair d
979
00:42:37,559 --> 00:42:39,469
d Two-thirds alligator d
980
00:42:39,627 --> 00:42:41,537
d And three-quarters bear d
981
00:42:41,696 --> 00:42:43,670
d And one half a lion d
982
00:42:43,832 --> 00:42:45,523
d But let it be known d
983
00:42:45,667 --> 00:42:47,423
d I never told one lie d
984
00:42:47,569 --> 00:42:49,130
d That was not my own d
985
00:42:49,271 --> 00:42:51,443
d Whoopi-ti-yi-yo d
986
00:42:51,607 --> 00:42:55,568
d Get along, little dogie d
987
00:42:55,811 --> 00:42:57,633
d I eat when I'm hungry d
988
00:42:57,780 --> 00:42:59,503
d I'll drink when I'm dry d
989
00:42:59,648 --> 00:43:01,437
d Don't boss me or cross me d
990
00:43:01,584 --> 00:43:03,210
d Or I'll spit in your eye d
991
00:43:03,352 --> 00:43:05,108
d I think what I please d
992
00:43:05,254 --> 00:43:07,458
d And I say what I mean d
993
00:43:07,623 --> 00:43:09,281
d And I think all you women d
994
00:43:09,425 --> 00:43:11,280
d Are the finest I've seen d
995
00:43:11,427 --> 00:43:13,369
d Whoopi-ti-yi-yo... d
996
00:43:13,529 --> 00:43:16,017
So my mom said, um...
997
00:43:16,199 --> 00:43:18,021
my mom said, you got into radio...
998
00:43:18,168 --> 00:43:21,910
uh, when someone was flying a kite
whose clothes came off? Ha.
999
00:43:22,138 --> 00:43:24,146
A naked man flying.
Quite a sight.
1000
00:43:24,307 --> 00:43:26,130
Why didn't he pull his shorts up?
1001
00:43:27,644 --> 00:43:30,513
He was hanging on to the kite,
couldn't let go.
1002
00:43:30,714 --> 00:43:32,274
- He was up high.
- Ha.
1003
00:43:32,416 --> 00:43:34,304
A hundred feet up in the air...
1004
00:43:34,451 --> 00:43:35,978
fifty.
1005
00:43:36,120 --> 00:43:37,429
Ha.
1006
00:43:37,555 --> 00:43:39,595
So, how did that get you into radio?
1007
00:43:39,757 --> 00:43:41,862
Well, that was how I met your dad.
1008
00:43:42,994 --> 00:43:44,074
Here comes the solo.
1009
00:43:53,605 --> 00:43:55,547
Yeah, real good.
Real good.
1010
00:43:55,707 --> 00:43:57,169
- Wait, naked guy...
- Yeah?
1011
00:43:57,308 --> 00:43:58,486
- Was my dad?
- Right.
1012
00:43:58,610 --> 00:43:59,886
Ha.
1013
00:44:00,011 --> 00:44:03,623
Naked man with red swim trunks
around his ankles.
1014
00:44:03,849 --> 00:44:05,475
Couple thousand people saw it...
1015
00:44:05,617 --> 00:44:07,820
so we figured it was a good time
to leave town...
1016
00:44:07,986 --> 00:44:11,402
so we got a car,
and we headed down to Chicago.
1017
00:44:11,623 --> 00:44:12,550
d We ride in the snow d
1018
00:44:12,658 --> 00:44:14,698
d And we ride in the rain d
1019
00:44:14,860 --> 00:44:16,583
d Just like Gene Autry d
1020
00:44:16,729 --> 00:44:18,901
d Just like John Wayne d
1021
00:44:19,064 --> 00:44:20,624
d They were better cowboys d
1022
00:44:20,766 --> 00:44:22,424
d Than us and I mean it d
1023
00:44:22,568 --> 00:44:24,292
d But we are still livin' d
1024
00:44:24,437 --> 00:44:26,346
d And that is convenient d
1025
00:44:26,506 --> 00:44:27,521
d Huh! d
1026
00:44:27,640 --> 00:44:29,134
d Pi-ti-yi-yo d
1027
00:44:29,275 --> 00:44:32,471
d Get along, little dogie d
1028
00:44:32,679 --> 00:44:33,606
d Huh! d
1029
00:44:33,713 --> 00:44:35,054
d Pi-ti-yi-yo d
1030
00:44:35,181 --> 00:44:39,010
d Get along, little dogies d
1031
00:44:41,388 --> 00:44:43,014
I go in to pay for the gas...
1032
00:44:43,123 --> 00:44:45,840
and he wakes up and decides
he needs to use the men's room.
1033
00:44:46,026 --> 00:44:47,782
So I come back.
1034
00:44:47,928 --> 00:44:50,294
I think he's still sleeping
in the back seat...
1035
00:44:50,464 --> 00:44:54,238
and I get behind the wheel,
and I drive to Chicago.
1036
00:44:54,468 --> 00:44:55,744
I leave him there in Oshkosh.
1037
00:44:55,870 --> 00:45:00,889
And he goes into the cafe,
and your mother was the waitress.
1038
00:45:01,175 --> 00:45:02,157
That's how they met.
1039
00:45:02,276 --> 00:45:04,283
That's how I came to be born.
1040
00:45:04,445 --> 00:45:07,707
Well, it kind of led to that, yeah.
1041
00:45:07,915 --> 00:45:10,054
Yeah, but I mean if you had
looked in the back seat...
1042
00:45:10,218 --> 00:45:12,705
and... and seen that he wasn't there,
I wouldn't exist.
1043
00:45:12,887 --> 00:45:17,459
Well, he and I weren't getting along
that well, so that's why.
1044
00:45:19,060 --> 00:45:20,108
That's really strange.
1045
00:45:20,228 --> 00:45:23,424
Well, no. I think it's one...
1046
00:45:23,632 --> 00:45:26,021
of the most beautiful things
I ever did not do.
1047
00:45:29,304 --> 00:45:32,304
So how'd you get into radio then?
1048
00:45:32,508 --> 00:45:35,322
Well, there was a show called, uh,
The Baked Bean Jubilee.
1049
00:45:35,511 --> 00:45:37,365
- Yeah, with my dad.
- With your dad, right.
1050
00:45:37,513 --> 00:45:39,422
- Happy Baked Beans.
- Happy Baked Beans, you know?
1051
00:45:39,582 --> 00:45:41,786
d Happy Baked Beans d
1052
00:45:41,951 --> 00:45:42,878
d Are nutritious d
1053
00:45:42,984 --> 00:45:43,912
Shh! Keep your voices down!
1054
00:45:44,020 --> 00:45:46,093
d Made the natural way d
1055
00:45:46,255 --> 00:45:48,589
- Keep your voices down!
- # Made of natural fiber d
1056
00:45:48,758 --> 00:45:49,685
Shh! Shh! Shh! Shh!
1057
00:45:49,792 --> 00:45:51,614
d Try some, you will say d
1058
00:45:51,761 --> 00:45:53,616
- There's a show going on!
- # They are nature's fruit d
1059
00:45:53,763 --> 00:45:55,836
d Root-ti-toot-toot-toot d
1060
00:45:55,998 --> 00:45:57,941
d Try baked beans d
1061
00:45:58,101 --> 00:46:01,746
d Every day d
1062
00:46:22,260 --> 00:46:23,820
d Ooh, baby d
1063
00:46:23,961 --> 00:46:25,455
- # You're my man d
- Mmm. Hmm!
1064
00:46:25,596 --> 00:46:27,985
d Ahh, ooh, you do what... d
1065
00:46:28,499 --> 00:46:29,906
Let's come in here now
with some cards and letters...
1066
00:46:30,001 --> 00:46:32,368
from the friends
and neighbors out there.
1067
00:46:32,537 --> 00:46:34,806
So good to know that
you're out there listening.
1068
00:46:34,973 --> 00:46:37,723
Here's a little note here from Aaron...
1069
00:46:37,909 --> 00:46:40,048
who says our show is a source
of comfort and laughter for him.
1070
00:46:40,212 --> 00:46:42,448
- And he's hoping...
- And he's hopin' that the Johnson Girls...
1071
00:46:42,614 --> 00:46:43,661
he's goin' to hear them
shake their hips a little...
1072
00:46:43,781 --> 00:46:46,367
and sing Touch me,
Kiss me, Be my man.
1073
00:46:46,552 --> 00:46:48,407
No, he was just joking, he says.
1074
00:46:48,554 --> 00:46:49,601
Just joking about that.
1075
00:46:49,722 --> 00:46:52,624
He was hoping that we would sing, uh,
Gold Watch and Chain.
1076
00:46:52,825 --> 00:46:53,937
- Oh. Oh, I bet.
- Yolanda.
1077
00:46:54,058 --> 00:46:55,236
Yolanda and I.
1078
00:46:55,361 --> 00:46:56,823
So let's bring up Yolanda here.
1079
00:46:56,962 --> 00:47:00,060
This beautiful old song
Gold Watch and Chain. Boys.
1080
00:47:05,838 --> 00:47:10,344
d Darlin', how can I stay
here without you? d
1081
00:47:10,610 --> 00:47:15,116
d I have nothing
to ease my poor heart d
1082
00:47:15,382 --> 00:47:19,790
d All the world would seem sad,
dear, without you d
1083
00:47:20,053 --> 00:47:24,624
d Tell me now that we never will part d
1084
00:47:24,892 --> 00:47:29,463
d I will pawn you
my gold watch and chain, love d
1085
00:47:29,729 --> 00:47:34,170
d I will pawn you
my gold wedding ring d
1086
00:47:34,435 --> 00:47:36,573
d I will pawn you this... d
1087
00:47:36,736 --> 00:47:38,078
- Molly?
- What?
1088
00:47:38,206 --> 00:47:39,319
Would you come here a moment?
1089
00:47:40,473 --> 00:47:41,651
What is it, Guy?
1090
00:47:43,311 --> 00:47:45,700
Um, I just want to...
1091
00:47:45,880 --> 00:47:47,287
Oh...
1092
00:47:47,415 --> 00:47:49,935
You are fat.
1093
00:47:53,154 --> 00:47:58,391
Y-you might think about cutting down
on the, um, desserts and the beer.
1094
00:47:58,694 --> 00:48:01,596
And also possibly sex with men.
1095
00:48:01,797 --> 00:48:05,539
W-when did...
when did this take place?
1096
00:48:05,767 --> 00:48:07,109
Who... who did this to you?
1097
00:48:08,938 --> 00:48:12,931
Ahh, yes, Lefty, Dusty,
are... are you boys aware of this?
1098
00:48:13,175 --> 00:48:16,491
O-our little girl's going
to be a-a single mom.
1099
00:48:16,712 --> 00:48:18,567
- You poor thing.
- Thank you.
1100
00:48:18,714 --> 00:48:21,048
I'll swear on a stack of Bibles
it wasn't me, darlin'.
1101
00:48:21,217 --> 00:48:24,119
Oh, that's great
to know, Dusty. Thanks.
1102
00:48:24,320 --> 00:48:26,229
d Do not scorn her d
1103
00:48:26,389 --> 00:48:30,317
d With words fierce and bitter d
1104
00:48:30,560 --> 00:48:35,710
d Do not laugh
at her shame and downfall d
1105
00:48:35,999 --> 00:48:37,046
You should sit.
1106
00:48:37,166 --> 00:48:41,673
d For a moment,
just stop and consider d
1107
00:48:41,939 --> 00:48:42,986
Just ignore them.
1108
00:48:43,107 --> 00:48:49,217
d That a man
was the cause of it all d
1109
00:48:49,546 --> 00:48:50,855
Dusty!
1110
00:48:50,981 --> 00:48:52,442
Yo!
1111
00:48:52,583 --> 00:48:53,630
That reminds me.
1112
00:48:53,751 --> 00:48:56,140
About that obscene song
you sang last week.
1113
00:48:56,320 --> 00:48:57,945
- Obscene? Uh...
- Yeah.
1114
00:48:58,088 --> 00:49:00,576
'I'll give you my moonshine
if you show me your jugs'?
1115
00:49:00,758 --> 00:49:02,700
No, not that one.
1116
00:49:02,860 --> 00:49:04,999
'Lovin' you ain't easy,
but I hear your sister is'?
1117
00:49:05,163 --> 00:49:07,399
No, no, no.
'Come ride my pony all night long.
1118
00:49:07,564 --> 00:49:09,637
'Come ride him bareback,
I'll sing you a song.' That one.
1119
00:49:09,801 --> 00:49:11,426
That's just a song
about ridin' a pony.
1120
00:49:11,569 --> 00:49:13,391
Mmm.
1121
00:49:13,538 --> 00:49:15,425
Oh, what... what the hell
did you think it was about?
1122
00:49:15,573 --> 00:49:17,581
Let's go out with a little style, OK?
1123
00:49:17,742 --> 00:49:18,790
What do you say?
1124
00:49:18,911 --> 00:49:20,471
'Go out'?
What do you mean?
1125
00:49:20,612 --> 00:49:21,659
Just what I said.
1126
00:49:21,780 --> 00:49:23,689
'Go out?' You mean me?
1127
00:49:23,848 --> 00:49:25,223
All of us.
1128
00:49:25,351 --> 00:49:27,206
What the Sam Hill are you
talkin' about, mister?
1129
00:49:27,353 --> 00:49:28,280
- Ohh. Hold on.
- Hey.
1130
00:49:28,386 --> 00:49:30,361
Got some nice egg salad sandwiches
if you're hungry.
1131
00:49:30,523 --> 00:49:31,505
No gunplay backstage.
1132
00:49:31,624 --> 00:49:33,380
I'm hungry.
I'm always hungry.
1133
00:49:33,526 --> 00:49:34,933
Did you know
that she's pregnant?
1134
00:49:35,061 --> 00:49:37,614
d And can't be returned d
1135
00:49:37,797 --> 00:49:42,107
d You have left me
and gone to another d
1136
00:49:42,368 --> 00:49:46,841
d All my hopes
and bridges are burned d
1137
00:49:47,107 --> 00:49:51,744
d But I will pawn you
my gold watch and chain, love d
1138
00:49:52,012 --> 00:49:56,834
d And I will pawn you
my gold wedding ring d
1139
00:49:57,117 --> 00:50:01,656
d I will pawn you
this heart in my bosom d
1140
00:50:01,922 --> 00:50:06,461
d Only say that you'll love me again d
1141
00:50:06,727 --> 00:50:11,266
d Only say that you'll love me again d
1142
00:50:11,531 --> 00:50:15,787
d Only say that you'll love me again d
1143
00:50:16,037 --> 00:50:17,411
Hee hee.
1144
00:50:19,706 --> 00:50:20,535
Thank you, Yolanda.
1145
00:50:20,641 --> 00:50:22,332
What a beautiful, beautiful song.
1146
00:50:22,477 --> 00:50:24,386
This portion of our show
is brought to you...
1147
00:50:24,545 --> 00:50:26,138
by Powdermilk Biscuits...
1148
00:50:26,280 --> 00:50:29,247
and also brought to you by duct tape.
1149
00:50:29,450 --> 00:50:31,011
Duct tape.
Yes, duct tape.
1150
00:50:31,153 --> 00:50:33,357
Duct tape.
1151
00:50:33,522 --> 00:50:35,594
Useful thing around the household...
1152
00:50:35,757 --> 00:50:38,692
almost anything that comes
up around the household.
1153
00:50:38,894 --> 00:50:41,741
Sometimes you need to make repairs,
doors come loose...
1154
00:50:41,929 --> 00:50:44,679
and windows,
all sorts of things can happen.
1155
00:50:44,867 --> 00:50:48,828
Sometimes you just forget something
that you're looking for...
1156
00:50:49,071 --> 00:50:50,794
and duct tape can come in handy.
1157
00:50:50,939 --> 00:50:54,234
You can wrap it around your finger
like a string or something.
1158
00:50:54,444 --> 00:50:55,873
You can just tape it up.
Whatever.
1159
00:50:56,011 --> 00:50:57,440
Things do tend to fall apart, you know.
1160
00:50:57,579 --> 00:51:01,573
Confusion reins endemic
in our world today.
1161
00:51:01,818 --> 00:51:03,672
- Just things tend to drift...
- Oh, jeez.
1162
00:51:03,820 --> 00:51:06,154
And especially as you get to be older...
1163
00:51:06,322 --> 00:51:08,329
duct tape is
the most useful thing you'll find.
1164
00:51:08,490 --> 00:51:10,912
All repairs are short term.
We know that.
1165
00:51:11,094 --> 00:51:15,250
Say a faucet should be dripping
and you, and you...
1166
00:51:16,200 --> 00:51:18,621
The water is falling there,
dripping onto your cupboard...
1167
00:51:18,802 --> 00:51:21,769
and the... and the wood
comes loose from the wall...
1168
00:51:21,971 --> 00:51:23,662
and you need something to fix it.
1169
00:51:23,807 --> 00:51:26,295
Just reach for a roll of duct tape.
1170
00:51:26,477 --> 00:51:28,615
That would be the... the perfect thing.
1171
00:51:28,778 --> 00:51:31,746
Or maybe your orangutano's
been jumpin' up and down on it.
1172
00:51:33,584 --> 00:51:35,885
The weight of the orangutan has,
like, you know, crushed...
1173
00:51:36,053 --> 00:51:37,428
uh, crushed part of the counter.
1174
00:51:37,555 --> 00:51:39,082
And... and then your Rottweiler...
1175
00:51:39,224 --> 00:51:41,679
he comes runnin' out and
he bites the orangutan in the hinder.
1176
00:51:41,860 --> 00:51:43,485
Gets him all riled up.
1177
00:51:44,261 --> 00:51:45,189
Hey.
1178
00:51:45,297 --> 00:51:47,686
The Rottweiler, actually,
is locked in the basement.
1179
00:51:47,866 --> 00:51:48,793
Sorry to correct you there, Rhonda.
1180
00:51:48,899 --> 00:51:49,914
I can hear them goin' at it.
1181
00:51:50,035 --> 00:51:52,206
- He's down locked in the basement.
- The Rottweiler and the orangutan.
1182
00:51:52,370 --> 00:51:53,417
A double lock there.
1183
00:51:53,537 --> 00:51:54,966
Because the...
uh, the orangutan, you know...
1184
00:51:55,106 --> 00:51:57,561
They got, uh, the fingers
and he's got a saw.
1185
00:51:59,377 --> 00:52:00,904
A chainsaw.
1186
00:52:02,214 --> 00:52:04,548
He cut a big hole in the door
and the Rottweiler got out.
1187
00:52:04,716 --> 00:52:07,237
That's how he bit the orangutan
in the hinder.
1188
00:52:09,522 --> 00:52:11,758
And then... and then
don't forget about the peacock.
1189
00:52:13,893 --> 00:52:15,802
And then the flock.
Uh, overhead there was...
1190
00:52:15,962 --> 00:52:17,784
a big helicopter
came flyin' through.
1191
00:52:19,899 --> 00:52:21,873
Right through a flock
of Canadian geese.
1192
00:52:23,703 --> 00:52:26,637
And, uh, really was gettin'
someone's goose was cooked.
1193
00:52:26,839 --> 00:52:27,854
And then they startled the peacock.
1194
00:52:29,710 --> 00:52:30,757
Yeah! Then...
1195
00:52:30,877 --> 00:52:31,924
And then this... this sick...
1196
00:52:32,044 --> 00:52:33,091
- The peacock.
- No, wait.
1197
00:52:33,212 --> 00:52:36,922
This sadist... this sadist in uh, sneakers
was creepin' up on everybody.
1198
00:52:37,150 --> 00:52:41,176
And the peacock, he... uh...
he jumps right at the orangutan.
1199
00:52:41,421 --> 00:52:43,560
His beak...
1200
00:52:43,724 --> 00:52:47,466
yeah... is flashing like a scimitar.
1201
00:52:47,694 --> 00:52:51,688
Yeah, but the, uh, but his aim is...
uh, goes awry and it... and then, um...
1202
00:52:51,933 --> 00:52:53,110
He takes that chainsaw and he throws it.
1203
00:52:53,233 --> 00:52:55,535
The orangutan throws it
at the peacock.
1204
00:52:55,702 --> 00:52:57,011
But he's got a bad aim.
The aim.
1205
00:52:57,137 --> 00:52:59,593
It goes right through a plate-glass window.
1206
00:52:59,773 --> 00:53:00,821
But it almost...
1207
00:53:02,443 --> 00:53:03,872
Yeah... hits the mailman.
1208
00:53:04,012 --> 00:53:05,059
Wow! Oh!
1209
00:53:05,179 --> 00:53:08,562
Murray. But doesn't.
It misses him by inches.
1210
00:53:08,783 --> 00:53:13,737
And by the way, he's bringin' you a letter
from your ex-girlfriend. Remember her?
1211
00:53:14,022 --> 00:53:17,283
Who is still furious at you
for having dumped her.
1212
00:53:17,493 --> 00:53:21,649
You know, just thrown her aside,
the woman who loved you.
1213
00:53:21,896 --> 00:53:23,107
Just because
you found somebody new.
1214
00:53:23,232 --> 00:53:24,825
How could you do that?
1215
00:53:24,967 --> 00:53:28,512
She will never understand.
And, um...
1216
00:53:28,737 --> 00:53:31,290
duct tape isn't gonna
help you with that one bit.
1217
00:53:31,473 --> 00:53:32,618
No, I suppose not, but with two out of...
1218
00:53:32,741 --> 00:53:34,846
And duct tape is not gonna make
an honest man out of you.
1219
00:53:36,111 --> 00:53:39,689
No, it won't. But with two out of three
chores around the home, duct tape.
1220
00:53:39,915 --> 00:53:41,671
And it isn't even gonna help you
find whatever it was...
1221
00:53:41,817 --> 00:53:44,305
you were lookin' for, so...
what were you lookin' for?
1222
00:53:44,486 --> 00:53:45,915
I was lookin' for duct tape.
Duct tape.
1223
00:53:46,056 --> 00:53:47,911
All repairs are temporary and short term.
1224
00:53:48,058 --> 00:53:49,138
It's almost just about the only thing...
1225
00:53:49,259 --> 00:53:52,739
that really works sometimes,
and that is duct tape.
1226
00:53:52,963 --> 00:53:55,232
More of A Prairie Home Companion
here in just a moment...
1227
00:53:55,465 --> 00:53:58,727
right after we come in
with a word about coffee.
1228
00:53:58,935 --> 00:54:02,513
Yes, Jearlyn,
nothing stimulates a person...
1229
00:54:02,739 --> 00:54:07,474
keeps you focused quite
like good old caffeine.
1230
00:54:07,744 --> 00:54:08,792
Black coffee.
1231
00:54:08,913 --> 00:54:12,262
Mmm. So good.
I'm glad you like it, too.
1232
00:54:14,384 --> 00:54:16,140
d Smells so lovely when you pour it d
1233
00:54:16,287 --> 00:54:19,450
d You will want to drink a quart of coffee d
1234
00:54:21,660 --> 00:54:23,154
d It's delicious all alone d
1235
00:54:23,295 --> 00:54:25,334
d It's also good with doughnuts d
1236
00:54:25,496 --> 00:54:26,925
d Black coffee d
1237
00:54:28,866 --> 00:54:30,721
d Coffee stimulates your urges d
1238
00:54:30,868 --> 00:54:32,330
d It's served in Lutheran churches d
1239
00:54:32,471 --> 00:54:34,380
d Keeps the Swedes and the Germans d
1240
00:54:34,539 --> 00:54:36,328
d Awake through the sermons d
1241
00:54:36,475 --> 00:54:38,035
d Have a pot of it today d
1242
00:54:38,176 --> 00:54:41,176
d I'm sure you'll say
it's awfully good coffee d
1243
00:54:47,919 --> 00:54:50,537
Chuck?
I'm ready for you now.
1244
00:54:52,724 --> 00:54:53,771
Chuck?
1245
00:54:53,892 --> 00:54:55,616
d Much too long d
1246
00:54:55,762 --> 00:54:58,347
Hey, you decent? Chuck?
1247
00:55:00,867 --> 00:55:02,525
Whoa!
1248
00:55:02,669 --> 00:55:05,735
Chuck, what you got
goin' in here, huh?
1249
00:55:05,938 --> 00:55:07,280
Huh!
1250
00:55:07,407 --> 00:55:09,741
Candles and music and...
1251
00:55:09,909 --> 00:55:13,106
Hey, hey, wake up, buddy.
1252
00:55:13,312 --> 00:55:14,392
Hey... Chu...
1253
00:55:15,516 --> 00:55:16,792
Chuck?
1254
00:55:17,217 --> 00:55:20,533
d Oh, my Lord does just what he said d
1255
00:55:20,720 --> 00:55:24,550
d Let the light from
the lighthouse shine on me d
1256
00:55:24,792 --> 00:55:28,566
d He healed the sick
and He raised the dead d
1257
00:55:28,796 --> 00:55:33,018
d Let the light from
the lighthouse shine on me d
1258
00:55:33,268 --> 00:55:34,729
d Shine on d
1259
00:55:34,868 --> 00:55:36,777
d Let it shine on d
1260
00:55:36,937 --> 00:55:41,444
d Let the light from
the lighthouse shine on me d
1261
00:55:46,013 --> 00:55:49,112
d From the lighthouse shine on me d
1262
00:55:53,088 --> 00:55:57,179
d Let the light from
the lighthouse shine on me d
1263
00:55:57,425 --> 00:56:00,905
d Oh, this whole world's
gonna reel and rock d
1264
00:56:01,129 --> 00:56:05,221
d Let the light from
the lighthouse shine on me d
1265
00:56:06,768 --> 00:56:08,656
Honey? It's me.
1266
00:56:10,306 --> 00:56:13,535
Ready or not, here I come.
1267
00:56:13,743 --> 00:56:19,656
I am lookin' for a big hot dog
to put in my bun, you old dog, you.
1268
00:56:19,982 --> 00:56:22,917
Why you hidin' from me?
1269
00:56:23,120 --> 00:56:25,487
Wake up.
Wake up, sugar.
1270
00:56:32,295 --> 00:56:34,270
Oh!
1271
00:56:34,430 --> 00:56:35,510
Chuck?
1272
00:56:39,536 --> 00:56:41,675
Chuck! Chuck!
1273
00:56:41,838 --> 00:56:44,685
It's OK.
It's OK. It's OK.
1274
00:56:45,842 --> 00:56:48,111
But how can he be dead?
1275
00:56:48,278 --> 00:56:49,904
He just went away, that's all.
1276
00:56:50,047 --> 00:56:53,178
Oh, my Chuck.
1277
00:56:53,383 --> 00:56:54,812
My baby.
1278
00:56:54,952 --> 00:56:57,669
The death of an old man
is not a tragedy.
1279
00:56:57,855 --> 00:56:59,644
Oh...
1280
00:56:59,791 --> 00:57:01,798
I don't want him to go.
1281
00:57:02,960 --> 00:57:07,597
Forgive him his shortcomings
and thank him for all of his love and care.
1282
00:57:07,865 --> 00:57:10,385
d Shine on d
1283
00:57:10,568 --> 00:57:12,423
d Let it shine on d
1284
00:57:12,570 --> 00:57:16,531
d Let the light from
the lighthouse shine on me d
1285
00:57:16,775 --> 00:57:18,401
Good-bye, baby.
1286
00:57:18,544 --> 00:57:20,332
d Let it shine on d
1287
00:57:20,478 --> 00:57:23,129
d Let the light from
the lighthouse shine on me d
1288
00:57:23,315 --> 00:57:24,657
Ohh! Ooh!
1289
00:57:24,783 --> 00:57:26,277
d Shine d
1290
00:57:26,418 --> 00:57:28,273
d Let it shine d
1291
00:57:28,420 --> 00:57:31,868
d Let the light from
the lighthouse shine on me d
1292
00:57:32,091 --> 00:57:34,196
d Shine d
1293
00:57:34,360 --> 00:57:36,182
d Let it shine d
1294
00:57:36,328 --> 00:57:39,492
d Let the light
from the lighthouse d
1295
00:57:39,698 --> 00:57:45,263
d Shine on d
1296
00:57:45,572 --> 00:57:50,656
d Me d
1297
00:57:54,949 --> 00:57:55,996
Thank you so much.
1298
00:57:56,116 --> 00:57:58,221
Time to break now
for station identification.
1299
00:57:58,385 --> 00:58:01,385
And we'll right back
with more right after this.
1300
00:58:11,332 --> 00:58:14,430
Ladies and gentlemen, we are now
at nine minutes to broadcast, please.
1301
00:58:14,635 --> 00:58:15,682
Nine minutes.
1302
00:58:16,972 --> 00:58:19,011
Hey. No smokin', mister.
1303
00:58:20,808 --> 00:58:23,972
Chuck Akers is dead.
He's gone.
1304
00:58:25,213 --> 00:58:29,010
I don't follow your reasoning there.
1305
00:58:29,251 --> 00:58:31,356
I said Chuck is dead.
1306
00:58:33,121 --> 00:58:34,398
Who's dead?
1307
00:58:34,522 --> 00:58:35,766
Chuck.
1308
00:58:37,759 --> 00:58:38,839
When?
1309
00:58:38,960 --> 00:58:40,585
Now.
1310
00:58:40,729 --> 00:58:42,290
He just died now?
1311
00:58:42,431 --> 00:58:43,860
I don't know when the hell he died.
1312
00:58:44,000 --> 00:58:46,388
I wasn't there.
1313
00:58:46,568 --> 00:58:48,510
What was the approximate
time of death?
1314
00:58:48,670 --> 00:58:51,158
Recent. Why don't you go
check it out for yourself.
1315
00:58:51,340 --> 00:58:52,584
He's in there.
1316
00:58:54,043 --> 00:58:56,596
Does anyone else know about this?
1317
00:58:56,779 --> 00:58:58,535
I have no idea.
1318
00:58:58,681 --> 00:59:00,623
Because if anyone else knows about this
and they're not saying anything...
1319
00:59:00,783 --> 00:59:01,896
I need to know about that.
1320
00:59:09,559 --> 00:59:10,639
Excuse me.
1321
00:59:18,735 --> 00:59:20,295
I used to listen to your show...
1322
00:59:22,239 --> 00:59:23,800
until I died.
1323
00:59:26,243 --> 00:59:28,131
My name was Lois Peterson.
1324
00:59:31,382 --> 00:59:33,170
I was driving up to this cabin up north...
1325
00:59:33,318 --> 00:59:36,830
and you were telling a story
and I was laughing.
1326
00:59:38,622 --> 00:59:42,332
And then the car skidded off the road
and into a ditch and it flipped.
1327
00:59:42,560 --> 00:59:45,527
And as it did, the thought occurred to me...
1328
00:59:45,730 --> 00:59:49,658
that the story just wasn't that funny.
1329
00:59:52,771 --> 00:59:54,658
And then...
1330
00:59:54,806 --> 01:00:01,647
I was standing in this tall grass
looking down at my own body.
1331
01:00:02,014 --> 01:00:03,061
Hmm.
1332
01:00:03,181 --> 01:00:04,905
So sorry.
1333
01:00:06,952 --> 01:00:10,301
I was on my way to that cabin
to meet my lover Larry.
1334
01:00:10,522 --> 01:00:15,224
We had been planning it
for over two months.
1335
01:00:16,529 --> 01:00:22,890
And because of your story,
I lost control and I died.
1336
01:00:23,236 --> 01:00:25,276
- So...
- I'm so sorry.
1337
01:00:25,438 --> 01:00:27,991
So you killed me, in a way.
1338
01:00:28,174 --> 01:00:29,548
Isn't that interesting?
1339
01:00:30,810 --> 01:00:33,843
He's quite dead.
1340
01:00:34,047 --> 01:00:35,421
Just a half an hour ago
he was walkin' around...
1341
01:00:35,549 --> 01:00:38,363
exchangin' the gases
with the atmosphere.
1342
01:00:38,552 --> 01:00:40,340
Well, there's a lot more
out than in now.
1343
01:00:40,487 --> 01:00:41,796
We should call the cops.
1344
01:00:41,922 --> 01:00:42,969
No.
1345
01:00:43,090 --> 01:00:45,708
When the time is right,
I'll make the call.
1346
01:00:45,893 --> 01:00:46,940
You... just, um...
1347
01:00:47,061 --> 01:00:49,647
All right. We're at five minutes
from broadcast.
1348
01:00:49,830 --> 01:00:51,204
Don't talk about this to anyone.
All right?
1349
01:00:51,332 --> 01:00:53,056
Keep it under your hat.
1350
01:00:53,200 --> 01:00:54,247
Go about your business.
1351
01:00:58,673 --> 01:01:00,199
I'm gonna secure the area.
1352
01:01:00,341 --> 01:01:02,446
Let's get on with the show.
1353
01:01:02,610 --> 01:01:04,715
You gonna be all right?
1354
01:01:04,879 --> 01:01:06,123
Yeah, I'll be all right.
1355
01:01:10,118 --> 01:01:11,973
So you're really an angel?
1356
01:01:12,120 --> 01:01:13,494
Of course.
1357
01:01:13,622 --> 01:01:15,149
Hmm.
1358
01:01:15,290 --> 01:01:16,697
What do you do?
1359
01:01:16,825 --> 01:01:17,872
Well, that's a dumb question.
1360
01:01:17,993 --> 01:01:19,968
No, no. I... uh, I do lots of things.
1361
01:01:20,128 --> 01:01:24,470
I comfort people that are desperately sad.
1362
01:01:24,733 --> 01:01:27,035
And I make personal appearances.
1363
01:01:27,202 --> 01:01:29,341
I...
1364
01:01:29,505 --> 01:01:31,960
Tears on a statue.
1365
01:01:32,141 --> 01:01:36,363
One time I put the face of the Lord
on a bowl of oatmeal.
1366
01:01:36,612 --> 01:01:37,757
Just to cheer people up.
1367
01:01:37,880 --> 01:01:40,498
You know, those kind of things.
1368
01:01:40,683 --> 01:01:43,847
But mostly I... I take people up to see God.
1369
01:01:44,053 --> 01:01:45,514
That's why I'm here.
1370
01:01:45,655 --> 01:01:50,128
But I-I just keep thinking
about that story...
1371
01:01:50,393 --> 01:01:54,005
and why it was funny.
1372
01:01:54,231 --> 01:01:56,140
The story I told on the radio?
1373
01:01:56,299 --> 01:01:57,990
It was about penguins.
1374
01:01:58,135 --> 01:01:59,858
Oh. The penguin joke.
1375
01:02:02,072 --> 01:02:04,144
Two penguins standing on an ice floe.
1376
01:02:04,308 --> 01:02:05,355
That's the one.
1377
01:02:05,476 --> 01:02:07,516
And the first penguin says...
1378
01:02:07,678 --> 01:02:09,849
'You look like
you're wearing a tuxedo.'
1379
01:02:11,315 --> 01:02:12,876
And the second penguin says...
1380
01:02:13,017 --> 01:02:14,577
'What makes you think I'm not?'
1381
01:02:18,222 --> 01:02:19,749
- Is there more?
- No.
1382
01:02:19,891 --> 01:02:21,135
- That's the joke?
- Mm-hmm.
1383
01:02:21,259 --> 01:02:22,437
Why is that funny?
1384
01:02:23,728 --> 01:02:25,964
I guess it's funny
because people laugh at it.
1385
01:02:26,131 --> 01:02:29,393
I'm not laughing.
1386
01:02:29,601 --> 01:02:34,653
You're an angel.
1387
01:02:34,940 --> 01:02:37,361
G.K. to the stage, please.
G.K. to the stage, please.
1388
01:02:37,542 --> 01:02:38,589
I should probably go.
1389
01:02:38,710 --> 01:02:41,394
Oh yes, of course.
I didn't come for you.
1390
01:02:41,580 --> 01:02:44,514
Oh. OK. All right.
1391
01:02:44,717 --> 01:02:45,764
I think they're waiting for me.
1392
01:02:45,884 --> 01:02:49,462
Oh... what did the second penguin say?
1393
01:02:49,688 --> 01:02:54,903
The second penguin said,
'What makes you think I'm not?' OK?
1394
01:02:55,194 --> 01:02:56,917
- OK.
- All right. See you.
1395
01:02:58,464 --> 01:03:00,024
Take your time.
1396
01:03:00,166 --> 01:03:02,206
Thanks.
1397
01:03:02,368 --> 01:03:06,459
Two minutes from broadcast.
Two minutes, please.
1398
01:03:06,706 --> 01:03:08,648
Ahem. Ahem. Ahem.
1399
01:03:08,807 --> 01:03:09,855
Could I have a word with you?
1400
01:03:11,211 --> 01:03:15,367
Uh, we have a situation here,
um, which we are monitoring...
1401
01:03:15,615 --> 01:03:17,949
but I wanted you to be apprised of it.
1402
01:03:19,620 --> 01:03:21,376
You mean the woman
in the white trench coat?
1403
01:03:21,522 --> 01:03:23,115
No, there's a woman in a w...
1404
01:03:23,257 --> 01:03:25,231
a white trench coat, yes.
You saw her?
1405
01:03:25,392 --> 01:03:27,247
- I saw her over here.
- You spoke to her?
1406
01:03:27,394 --> 01:03:28,888
You... no, you were talking to her.
1407
01:03:29,029 --> 01:03:30,076
You saw that?
1408
01:03:30,197 --> 01:03:31,604
Yeah. You.
1409
01:03:31,732 --> 01:03:34,666
Well, if you see her in the audience,
I need you to give me a high sign.
1410
01:03:34,869 --> 01:03:36,724
Just use... give me a signal
with your hand.
1411
01:03:36,871 --> 01:03:39,010
Do, uh...
1412
01:03:39,173 --> 01:03:40,220
No. Here, do it behind your back.
1413
01:03:40,341 --> 01:03:42,610
- Just... just... just wiggle.
- Rabbit tail?
1414
01:03:42,777 --> 01:03:46,355
Yeah, and give me a verbal, uh, sign,
some... something in code.
1415
01:03:46,581 --> 01:03:48,010
Just say, uh, indemnity.
1416
01:03:48,149 --> 01:03:49,359
- Indemnity. Yeah.
- OK.
1417
01:03:49,483 --> 01:03:51,425
Or no. Granite Falls.
1418
01:03:51,586 --> 01:03:53,408
OK. How does that...
1419
01:03:53,555 --> 01:03:54,864
How does that go?
Granite Falls?
1420
01:03:54,990 --> 01:03:56,899
Well, you just say, uh,
then we would like to do a song now...
1421
01:03:57,059 --> 01:03:59,426
for our dear friends in...
1422
01:03:59,595 --> 01:04:00,643
Granite Falls.
1423
01:04:00,762 --> 01:04:01,940
OK. All right. OK.
1424
01:04:02,064 --> 01:04:05,839
And then if I miss that,
uh, this'll be a cue for Rich...
1425
01:04:06,068 --> 01:04:08,370
to do a-a musical turn.
1426
01:04:12,341 --> 01:04:14,065
- That's the code.
- Code?
1427
01:04:14,210 --> 01:04:16,032
Then I'll get it. OK?
1428
01:04:16,179 --> 01:04:18,252
That's how I got into radio, actually.
1429
01:04:18,413 --> 01:04:19,341
Morse code.
1430
01:04:19,449 --> 01:04:22,166
I was a deckhand on a... on a boat.
1431
01:04:22,352 --> 01:04:23,945
Big storm. November.
1432
01:04:24,087 --> 01:04:25,396
I'll never forget it.
1433
01:04:25,521 --> 01:04:26,634
You got on the ship radio...
1434
01:04:26,756 --> 01:04:29,123
and you told jokes
and you sang for two hours...
1435
01:04:29,292 --> 01:04:30,274
until the ship came in safely to port.
1436
01:04:30,393 --> 01:04:32,564
Right.
I told you that story?
1437
01:04:32,729 --> 01:04:33,657
Granite Falls.
1438
01:04:33,764 --> 01:04:34,844
- G. K?
- Granite Falls. Right.
1439
01:04:34,965 --> 01:04:35,979
Yeah?
1440
01:04:36,099 --> 01:04:38,717
- If you see G.K. do that behind his back...
- Fifteen seconds.
1441
01:04:38,901 --> 01:04:39,829
it's your cue to go like this.
1442
01:04:42,072 --> 01:04:43,959
So what are you gonna do
for work after this?
1443
01:04:44,108 --> 01:04:45,570
I don't know.
I'll find a job somewhere.
1444
01:04:46,777 --> 01:04:48,086
Like where?
1445
01:04:48,212 --> 01:04:51,408
A job where I never have to say a word.
1446
01:04:51,616 --> 01:04:52,761
Why?
1447
01:04:52,884 --> 01:04:54,956
That's why. Right there.
1448
01:04:55,119 --> 01:04:56,046
What are you gonna do?
1449
01:04:56,154 --> 01:04:57,648
Like be an underwear model
or something?
1450
01:04:57,789 --> 01:04:58,901
If they ask, sure.
1451
01:04:59,023 --> 01:05:00,878
- You're on.
- Yes.
1452
01:05:04,362 --> 01:05:06,783
And we're back with more of
A Prairie Home Companion...
1453
01:05:06,965 --> 01:05:11,056
brought to you by the Federation
of Associated Organizations.
1454
01:05:11,303 --> 01:05:14,686
Somewhere there's an organization
just for you.
1455
01:05:14,907 --> 01:05:16,019
And brought to you by Fred Farrell...
1456
01:05:16,141 --> 01:05:17,351
the name you've gradually come
to trust...
1457
01:05:17,475 --> 01:05:19,963
when it comes
to animal nuisance control.
1458
01:05:20,145 --> 01:05:21,355
The Johnson Girls coming up...
1459
01:05:21,479 --> 01:05:24,611
and the old trail hands,
Dusty and Lefty are with us...
1460
01:05:24,817 --> 01:05:26,191
and our good friend Jearlyn Steele.
1461
01:05:26,318 --> 01:05:27,693
Jearlyn.
1462
01:05:38,230 --> 01:05:42,256
d The day is short d
1463
01:05:42,501 --> 01:05:48,514
d The night is long d
1464
01:05:48,842 --> 01:05:53,413
d Why do we work so hard d
1465
01:05:53,680 --> 01:05:59,244
d To get what we don't even want? d
1466
01:05:59,553 --> 01:06:01,408
d We work so hard d
1467
01:06:01,555 --> 01:06:02,799
d To get ahead of the game d
1468
01:06:02,923 --> 01:06:04,330
It's time for me to go.
1469
01:06:08,696 --> 01:06:10,703
Oh.
1470
01:06:10,865 --> 01:06:13,199
I am the angel Asphodel.
1471
01:06:13,368 --> 01:06:16,238
I come here to do my work
and bring mercy into the world...
1472
01:06:16,436 --> 01:06:19,753
and praise His holy name.
1473
01:06:19,974 --> 01:06:22,112
OK. That's fine with me.
1474
01:06:22,276 --> 01:06:24,065
You wanna be an angel?
1475
01:06:24,212 --> 01:06:25,586
I say you...
1476
01:06:25,714 --> 01:06:26,957
you be an angel.
1477
01:06:27,081 --> 01:06:29,056
You're angelic enough for me.
1478
01:06:31,219 --> 01:06:32,942
I say spread your wings and fly.
1479
01:06:34,423 --> 01:06:35,950
This is a revelation.
1480
01:06:37,893 --> 01:06:39,900
For the both of us.
1481
01:06:40,062 --> 01:06:42,298
Listen, if you're an angel, I, uh...
1482
01:06:42,463 --> 01:06:43,773
I wonder if...
1483
01:06:43,899 --> 01:06:46,517
you and me were to, uh...
1484
01:06:46,702 --> 01:06:48,677
you know.
1485
01:06:48,837 --> 01:06:50,015
Would you...
1486
01:06:50,139 --> 01:06:51,349
feel anything?
1487
01:06:53,543 --> 01:06:55,397
I would feel love.
1488
01:06:59,349 --> 01:07:02,382
d And Daddy's on the way d
1489
01:07:02,584 --> 01:07:06,545
d The day is short d
1490
01:07:06,790 --> 01:07:13,085
d The night is long d
1491
01:07:13,430 --> 01:07:18,002
d Why do you work so hard d
1492
01:07:18,269 --> 01:07:21,979
d To get what you don't even want? d
1493
01:07:38,957 --> 01:07:40,331
You can wait here.
This won't take long.
1494
01:07:45,362 --> 01:07:49,192
d The day is short d
1495
01:07:49,433 --> 01:07:51,288
- Do you have a ticket?
- I'm with the company.
1496
01:07:51,435 --> 01:07:56,192
d The night is long d
1497
01:07:56,475 --> 01:08:03,283
d Why do you work so hard d
1498
01:08:04,684 --> 01:08:06,145
d To get d
1499
01:08:06,284 --> 01:08:10,081
d What you don't even d
1500
01:08:10,323 --> 01:08:15,855
d Want? d
1501
01:08:19,332 --> 01:08:20,259
You got a problem with horses?
1502
01:08:20,333 --> 01:08:23,082
No, no, no. Just... please behave.
That's all I'm askin'.
1503
01:08:23,270 --> 01:08:26,303
Al, Al. There's somethin' wrong
with this bulb.
1504
01:08:26,506 --> 01:08:27,455
No, no.
It's supposed to blink.
1505
01:08:27,573 --> 01:08:28,948
That's my... so it doesn't ring.
1506
01:08:29,076 --> 01:08:30,483
That's my phone. Excuse me.
1507
01:08:30,611 --> 01:08:31,538
Yeah?
1508
01:08:32,779 --> 01:08:34,186
He's here?
1509
01:08:34,313 --> 01:08:36,485
OK. Thanks.
1510
01:08:36,650 --> 01:08:38,624
The, uh, axeman is here.
1511
01:08:38,785 --> 01:08:39,734
I'll take care of it.
1512
01:08:39,853 --> 01:08:41,708
All right.
1513
01:08:41,855 --> 01:08:43,350
Molly?
1514
01:08:43,490 --> 01:08:46,338
Anybody seen Molly?
1515
01:08:46,527 --> 01:08:50,171
d And he is awful happy that I'm here d
1516
01:08:50,398 --> 01:08:53,561
d And that we have New Munich Beer d
1517
01:08:53,767 --> 01:08:55,393
d Have a glass and tell a joke d
1518
01:08:55,537 --> 01:08:57,326
d About a guy who danced the polka d
1519
01:08:57,472 --> 01:08:59,960
d And remember that
the party has to end d
1520
01:09:00,140 --> 01:09:01,318
d My friend d
1521
01:09:01,442 --> 01:09:03,384
d Adieu, adieu, kind friends, adieu d
1522
01:09:03,545 --> 01:09:05,138
d Adieu, adieu d
1523
01:09:05,280 --> 01:09:07,135
d But first, let's have another brew d
1524
01:09:07,282 --> 01:09:08,209
d Maybe two d
1525
01:09:08,317 --> 01:09:09,265
Mr. Crust?
1526
01:09:09,384 --> 01:09:11,523
Cruett! I don't believe we've met.
1527
01:09:11,687 --> 01:09:12,734
Guy Noir.
1528
01:09:12,855 --> 01:09:16,532
Vice-president, Security
and, uh, Data Acquisition.
1529
01:09:16,759 --> 01:09:18,614
Good for you.
Show almost over?
1530
01:09:18,761 --> 01:09:19,939
Almost. Yes.
1531
01:09:20,062 --> 01:09:21,338
Just in time then.
1532
01:09:21,463 --> 01:09:22,608
The show's been going on how long?
1533
01:09:22,731 --> 01:09:24,193
Somebody said fifty years.
1534
01:09:24,333 --> 01:09:27,267
N-nearly. Uh, thirty... something.
1535
01:09:27,469 --> 01:09:29,258
Weird. It's like a time warp.
1536
01:09:29,405 --> 01:09:30,681
I feel like an anthropologist...
1537
01:09:30,806 --> 01:09:34,222
finding some primitive tribe
squatting around a fire in the forest...
1538
01:09:34,443 --> 01:09:36,680
telling stories,
sparks flying up in the air.
1539
01:09:36,845 --> 01:09:38,023
Yeah. Heh heh.
1540
01:09:38,148 --> 01:09:41,082
Well, we've got the, uh, luxury box
for you, right here.
1541
01:09:42,786 --> 01:09:43,866
Right this way.
1542
01:09:47,089 --> 01:09:49,162
Who's that guy?
1543
01:09:49,326 --> 01:09:52,490
Oh, that's the guy, uh,
used to come see the shows here.
1544
01:09:52,696 --> 01:09:54,932
Um, local boy.
He's a writer.
1545
01:09:55,098 --> 01:09:56,986
Uh, he wrote novels.
1546
01:09:57,133 --> 01:09:58,246
Uh, F. Scott Fitzgerald.
1547
01:09:58,369 --> 01:09:59,612
Grew up right here in St. Paul.
1548
01:09:59,737 --> 01:10:00,719
What kind of novels?
1549
01:10:01,806 --> 01:10:03,267
Uh, romantic ones.
1550
01:10:03,406 --> 01:10:04,334
- Oh.
- Mostly.
1551
01:10:04,442 --> 01:10:05,936
I don't read romances. No time.
1552
01:10:06,077 --> 01:10:08,662
Hmm. We usually have,
uh, clients in here.
1553
01:10:08,845 --> 01:10:10,634
You know, five or six of them
at a time, sponsors...
1554
01:10:10,781 --> 01:10:12,952
That's some nice plaster work
around the proscenium there.
1555
01:10:13,117 --> 01:10:14,492
We'll have to remember
to save a piece of that.
1556
01:10:14,619 --> 01:10:16,212
I wish we were taping this show.
1557
01:10:16,354 --> 01:10:18,176
This is a live show.
1558
01:10:18,322 --> 01:10:20,177
Videotape.
Historical purposes.
1559
01:10:20,324 --> 01:10:21,818
Send it to a museum.
1560
01:10:21,959 --> 01:10:23,334
Well, this is just great.
This is all I need.
1561
01:10:23,462 --> 01:10:25,469
This is the first time
somebody died at the show.
1562
01:10:25,631 --> 01:10:27,638
- I mean, the first time!
- Al, we're all gettin' older.
1563
01:10:27,799 --> 01:10:28,727
He's dead? !
1564
01:10:28,834 --> 01:10:30,110
The show's not over, is it?
1565
01:10:30,234 --> 01:10:32,209
We've got a dead man downstairs.
1566
01:10:32,371 --> 01:10:33,418
We've gotta do something.
1567
01:10:33,538 --> 01:10:35,164
Just be glad... glad you
don't have him onstage.
1568
01:10:35,307 --> 01:10:37,161
- When did this happen?
- Who's that, Chuck?
1569
01:10:37,309 --> 01:10:38,585
- Yes.
- Where's Evelyn?
1570
01:10:38,710 --> 01:10:39,692
Evelyn was down there.
1571
01:10:39,811 --> 01:10:42,080
He was waitin' for Evelyn
when he passed away.
1572
01:10:42,247 --> 01:10:44,451
He died with a heart full of hope.
1573
01:10:44,616 --> 01:10:47,104
Yeah, that's not a bad way to go
when you think about it.
1574
01:10:47,286 --> 01:10:49,774
Sittin' there in the dark,
in your underwear, you know?
1575
01:10:49,956 --> 01:10:51,297
Waitin' for your lover to come.
1576
01:10:51,423 --> 01:10:52,918
He was in his underwear?
1577
01:10:53,059 --> 01:10:56,288
Donna told me he was wearin'
boxer shorts with big raspberries on 'em...
1578
01:10:56,496 --> 01:10:59,627
and a great big bottle of massage oil
and a bayberry candle goin'...
1579
01:10:59,832 --> 01:11:01,807
and Mills Brothers' Greatest Hits.
1580
01:11:01,969 --> 01:11:04,522
He was all set.
He was loaded for Evelyn.
1581
01:11:04,705 --> 01:11:06,843
Well, uh, can I offer you
somethin' to drink?
1582
01:11:07,006 --> 01:11:08,413
Water. No ice. No lemon.
1583
01:11:10,743 --> 01:11:12,369
Water. No ice. No lemon.
1584
01:11:12,513 --> 01:11:13,887
Straight up. Neat.
1585
01:11:15,516 --> 01:11:18,898
Radio sound effects
learned from a master.
1586
01:11:19,119 --> 01:11:20,461
What can I tell you about the show?
1587
01:11:20,587 --> 01:11:22,376
I know everything I need
to know about the show.
1588
01:11:23,590 --> 01:11:25,445
- You're sure about that?
- Yes.
1589
01:11:25,592 --> 01:11:26,868
You're not gonna change your mind?
1590
01:11:26,995 --> 01:11:28,304
Ahh! No.
1591
01:11:28,429 --> 01:11:29,509
Hmm.
1592
01:11:29,631 --> 01:11:31,387
Lot of good people up there.
1593
01:11:31,533 --> 01:11:32,547
On the stage.
1594
01:11:32,666 --> 01:11:33,594
Lot of 'em.
1595
01:11:34,969 --> 01:11:37,173
I mean, I'm a man
of the world like yourself...
1596
01:11:37,338 --> 01:11:38,800
but, uh, these folks
put their lives into this.
1597
01:11:38,939 --> 01:11:40,947
Now they can put their lives
into something else.
1598
01:11:41,108 --> 01:11:42,767
There's always something
to put your life into, isn't there?
1599
01:11:42,911 --> 01:11:44,252
It's like the Scripture tells us...
1600
01:11:44,379 --> 01:11:46,233
you have to lose your life
before you can...
1601
01:11:46,382 --> 01:11:47,461
find it.
1602
01:11:48,550 --> 01:11:50,721
Scripture is guiding you here?
1603
01:11:50,885 --> 01:11:53,122
The company is owned
by people of faith, Mr. Noir.
1604
01:11:54,724 --> 01:11:58,619
Ahh. Before I came to the Lord,
I played in a band myself.
1605
01:11:58,860 --> 01:12:00,748
The Dukes of Rhythm.
Ha ha.
1606
01:12:00,896 --> 01:12:02,685
We were terrible.
1607
01:12:02,832 --> 01:12:05,963
Then, thank God, we were saved by
the simple realization of the truth.
1608
01:12:06,235 --> 01:12:07,762
We were no good.
We got fired.
1609
01:12:07,903 --> 01:12:09,626
It was a blessing.
1610
01:12:09,772 --> 01:12:10,700
You wanna say something?
1611
01:12:10,806 --> 01:12:12,213
Say what?
No, I don't want to say...
1612
01:12:12,341 --> 01:12:13,269
You know, you should say somethin'...
1613
01:12:13,375 --> 01:12:15,317
'cause he was on the show
all these years.
1614
01:12:15,479 --> 01:12:16,406
Absolutely.
1615
01:12:16,512 --> 01:12:18,367
I don't do eulogies. I don't.
1616
01:12:18,514 --> 01:12:20,587
Is there a reason for that?
Or you just don't care for people?
1617
01:12:20,751 --> 01:12:22,278
I'm at an age where
if I started to do them...
1618
01:12:22,419 --> 01:12:24,077
I'd do nothing but eulogies.
1619
01:12:24,221 --> 01:12:25,781
How about just
a moment of silence?
1620
01:12:25,922 --> 01:12:28,311
Silence on the radio?
I don't know how that works.
1621
01:12:28,492 --> 01:12:29,801
Garrison, OK, thank you.
1622
01:12:29,926 --> 01:12:31,170
OK, we've got about thirty seconds.
Thirty seconds.
1623
01:12:31,294 --> 01:12:32,952
Hold on a second.
You're saying if my mom died...
1624
01:12:33,096 --> 01:12:34,951
you wouldn't do anything,
you wouldn't say anything.
1625
01:12:35,098 --> 01:12:36,026
If I what?
1626
01:12:36,133 --> 01:12:38,621
You'd just ignore it,
you'd act like it never happened?
1627
01:12:38,802 --> 01:12:39,730
How could you do that?
1628
01:12:39,836 --> 01:12:41,014
We don't look back in radio.
1629
01:12:41,139 --> 01:12:42,284
That's the beauty of it.
1630
01:12:42,406 --> 01:12:44,031
Nobody gets old.
Nobody dies.
1631
01:12:44,174 --> 01:12:45,735
We just keep on goin'.
1632
01:12:45,877 --> 01:12:46,804
What if you died?
1633
01:12:46,910 --> 01:12:48,219
I will.
1634
01:12:48,346 --> 01:12:49,655
You don't want people
to remember you?
1635
01:12:49,781 --> 01:12:52,464
I don't want them to be told
to remember me.
1636
01:12:52,650 --> 01:12:54,625
Hmm?
1637
01:12:54,786 --> 01:12:56,728
You know what?
Somebody died down there.
1638
01:12:56,888 --> 01:12:57,836
That's right.
1639
01:12:57,955 --> 01:12:59,199
OK? And we're not
even paying attention...
1640
01:12:59,323 --> 01:13:00,665
and you're not even
gonna say anything?
1641
01:13:00,792 --> 01:13:02,199
We pay attention by doin' our job.
1642
01:13:02,326 --> 01:13:04,748
Go, go, go.
You're on, you're on, you're on.
1643
01:13:04,929 --> 01:13:06,718
I gotta get someone
to take me home.
1644
01:13:06,864 --> 01:13:08,620
I'm not spendin' the night
alone tonight.
1645
01:13:08,766 --> 01:13:10,773
Don't... nobody even cares.
1646
01:13:10,935 --> 01:13:12,659
No, we do.
We all care.
1647
01:13:12,805 --> 01:13:14,146
We care like hell.
1648
01:13:14,273 --> 01:13:15,200
You're gonna want to have...
1649
01:13:15,307 --> 01:13:17,642
a whole freezer full
of Prince of Pizzas.
1650
01:13:17,810 --> 01:13:21,258
It's the frozen pizza that
tastes homemade always.
1651
01:13:21,480 --> 01:13:25,310
Made from real Minnesota
cheese and sausage.
1652
01:13:26,653 --> 01:13:29,140
d One Prince of Pizza slice d
1653
01:13:29,321 --> 01:13:31,493
d Puts me in paradise d
1654
01:13:31,658 --> 01:13:34,145
d Sausage and extra cheese d
1655
01:13:34,326 --> 01:13:36,879
d Onions and anchovies d
1656
01:13:38,064 --> 01:13:39,177
That's fun... that's funny.
1657
01:13:39,299 --> 01:13:41,754
Watching them through this glass,
it's like a zoo.
1658
01:13:43,970 --> 01:13:47,134
- Ahh.
- I'll be right back.
1659
01:13:47,340 --> 01:13:48,769
d It's the best d
1660
01:13:48,908 --> 01:13:50,086
d It's the best d
1661
01:13:50,211 --> 01:13:52,480
d In the Midwest d
1662
01:13:52,645 --> 01:13:53,921
d Pizza pie d
1663
01:13:54,048 --> 01:13:55,291
d Pizza pie d
1664
01:13:55,416 --> 01:13:59,125
d Prince of Pizza is the best pie d
1665
01:14:05,427 --> 01:14:06,736
Yes, Guy Noir here.
1666
01:14:06,861 --> 01:14:07,908
Get me Molly.
1667
01:14:10,931 --> 01:14:11,880
Yeah?
1668
01:14:11,999 --> 01:14:14,847
Molly, listen, I need you to do something
for me. It's very important.
1669
01:14:15,036 --> 01:14:15,963
What?
1670
01:14:16,071 --> 01:14:18,274
I need you come out here
so I can talk to you face to face.
1671
01:14:18,439 --> 01:14:20,294
- Can you do that?
- I'm right here.
1672
01:14:20,441 --> 01:14:23,092
Wha... b... d...
1673
01:14:23,277 --> 01:14:25,612
- Who's this?
- I don't know.
1674
01:14:25,780 --> 01:14:27,984
No, who...
who's talking to me?
1675
01:14:28,149 --> 01:14:29,097
I don't... I-I am!
1676
01:14:29,217 --> 01:14:30,646
Shh! Hello?
1677
01:14:30,785 --> 01:14:32,279
Hello?
1678
01:14:32,420 --> 01:14:33,729
Hello?
1679
01:14:35,223 --> 01:14:36,783
There's nobody there.
1680
01:14:36,925 --> 01:14:38,584
OK.
1681
01:14:38,728 --> 01:14:41,062
I have to ask you
to do something for me.
1682
01:14:41,229 --> 01:14:42,156
It's very important.
1683
01:14:42,265 --> 01:14:43,694
- It's, uh...
- What?
1684
01:14:44,901 --> 01:14:46,810
I need a drink.
1685
01:14:46,969 --> 01:14:48,376
Uhh!
1686
01:14:48,504 --> 01:14:49,519
Oh, je...
1687
01:14:51,540 --> 01:14:52,652
You OK?
1688
01:14:55,279 --> 01:14:56,206
Yeah.
1689
01:14:56,312 --> 01:15:00,054
So how's it goin' in there
with, uh, axeman?
1690
01:15:01,250 --> 01:15:02,363
Very slippery.
1691
01:15:02,485 --> 01:15:03,762
How do they keep
the drinks on there?
1692
01:15:03,886 --> 01:15:04,868
It's going very well.
1693
01:15:04,988 --> 01:15:06,930
I mean, well, he's tough.
He's tough.
1694
01:15:07,090 --> 01:15:11,847
But, uh, I think, uh,
I think I have another solution.
1695
01:15:12,128 --> 01:15:13,056
What?
1696
01:15:13,163 --> 01:15:14,723
Well, he used to be in a band.
1697
01:15:14,865 --> 01:15:16,775
A long time ago
called the Dukes of Rhythm...
1698
01:15:16,934 --> 01:15:19,235
and I think if we can round up
the guys who were in that band...
1699
01:15:19,404 --> 01:15:21,313
and get 'em all on the show...
1700
01:15:21,471 --> 01:15:22,965
Sorry.
1701
01:15:23,107 --> 01:15:27,679
Um, we can, um, we can maybe
get him to change his mind.
1702
01:15:27,946 --> 01:15:32,932
Have a kind of reunion, you know,
with all the, uh, band members...
1703
01:15:33,217 --> 01:15:34,199
right here on
The Prairie Home Companion.
1704
01:15:35,320 --> 01:15:36,247
Here's to happy endings.
1705
01:15:36,354 --> 01:15:37,783
Happy endings!
1706
01:15:40,892 --> 01:15:42,802
Ahh!
1707
01:15:42,962 --> 01:15:43,889
Ahh!
1708
01:15:43,995 --> 01:15:45,075
Oh, God, that's good.
1709
01:15:45,196 --> 01:15:46,341
Mother's milk.
1710
01:15:46,464 --> 01:15:48,733
- What?
- Sorry.
1711
01:15:48,900 --> 01:15:50,810
Here's what I need you to do.
1712
01:15:50,970 --> 01:15:52,824
- Hmm.
- Take this note...
1713
01:15:52,972 --> 01:15:55,044
uhh, to the woman...
1714
01:15:55,207 --> 01:15:56,549
backstage...
1715
01:15:56,675 --> 01:15:57,885
Give it to who?
1716
01:15:58,010 --> 01:15:58,992
The lady backstage.
1717
01:15:59,111 --> 01:16:00,518
The blonde lady
with a white trench coat.
1718
01:16:00,646 --> 01:16:01,694
Blonde lady with
a white trench coat?
1719
01:16:01,814 --> 01:16:03,637
Yes. She's beautiful, blonde.
1720
01:16:03,782 --> 01:16:05,724
Ahh, ahh...
1721
01:16:05,884 --> 01:16:06,898
You can't miss her.
1722
01:16:07,019 --> 01:16:08,994
'Angel, man in the...'
1723
01:16:09,155 --> 01:16:11,162
Shh!
1724
01:16:11,323 --> 01:16:12,632
Boat?
1725
01:16:12,758 --> 01:16:13,838
Booth.
1726
01:16:13,960 --> 01:16:15,782
'Man in the booth...
1727
01:16:15,928 --> 01:16:19,790
Make him go away.'
1728
01:16:21,167 --> 01:16:24,549
Give this to her,
and then destroy that.
1729
01:16:26,172 --> 01:16:29,270
It's time to bring out an old favorite
here on A Prairie Home Companion...
1730
01:16:29,476 --> 01:16:32,160
And that's two fine women
who've been singing together...
1731
01:16:32,345 --> 01:16:36,120
since they were little girls
growing up in Oshkosh, Wisconsin.
1732
01:16:36,350 --> 01:16:38,521
They've kept alive all those old songs
that go way back.
1733
01:16:38,685 --> 01:16:42,330
Please welcome here the Johnson Girls,
Rhonda and Yolanda.
1734
01:16:42,556 --> 01:16:45,338
Ha ha ha ha.
1735
01:16:45,526 --> 01:16:46,988
Thank you.
1736
01:16:47,127 --> 01:16:49,494
Thank you very much.
1737
01:16:49,663 --> 01:16:53,143
We're gonna do a song now
that we wrote for our mama.
1738
01:16:53,367 --> 01:16:55,571
Who brought us up...
1739
01:16:55,736 --> 01:16:57,711
with no, uh, luxuries.
1740
01:16:57,872 --> 01:16:59,498
Ha ha. No vacation trips.
1741
01:16:59,641 --> 01:17:01,496
No vacations even.
Ha ha ha.
1742
01:17:01,643 --> 01:17:03,650
But we did have one luxury...
1743
01:17:03,812 --> 01:17:06,911
and that was... music.
You know?
1744
01:17:07,115 --> 01:17:08,293
Mama loved us to sing.
1745
01:17:08,417 --> 01:17:11,929
Yeah, no matter how tired she was,
she loved...
1746
01:17:12,554 --> 01:17:14,823
hearin' us kids sing.
1747
01:17:17,226 --> 01:17:19,014
So this is for you, Mama.
1748
01:17:21,964 --> 01:17:23,971
d Good-bye to my mama d
1749
01:17:24,133 --> 01:17:26,107
d My uncles and aunts d
1750
01:17:26,268 --> 01:17:28,210
d One after another d
1751
01:17:28,370 --> 01:17:31,785
d They went to lie down d
1752
01:17:32,008 --> 01:17:34,081
d In the green pastures d
1753
01:17:34,243 --> 01:17:36,217
d Beside the still waters d
1754
01:17:36,379 --> 01:17:42,522
d And made no sound d
1755
01:17:42,852 --> 01:17:44,925
d Their arms that had held me d
1756
01:17:45,089 --> 01:17:47,227
d For so many years d
1757
01:17:47,390 --> 01:17:49,430
d Their beautiful voices d
1758
01:17:49,593 --> 01:17:51,698
d No longer I hear d
1759
01:17:51,862 --> 01:17:53,837
d They're in Jesus' arms d
1760
01:17:53,997 --> 01:17:56,168
d And He's talkin' to them d
1761
01:17:56,333 --> 01:18:01,450
d In the rapturous New Jerusalem d
1762
01:18:01,739 --> 01:18:03,910
d And I know they're at peace d
1763
01:18:04,074 --> 01:18:06,114
d In a land of delight d
1764
01:18:06,277 --> 01:18:07,967
d But I miss d
1765
01:18:08,112 --> 01:18:12,684
d My mama d
1766
01:18:12,950 --> 01:18:17,009
d Tonight d
1767
01:18:22,660 --> 01:18:26,402
Oh, Chuck,
they're playin' this for you.
1768
01:18:26,631 --> 01:18:29,664
You should be out there
performin' this with them.
1769
01:18:29,868 --> 01:18:32,803
d Who went to lie down d
1770
01:18:33,005 --> 01:18:39,148
d And now is gone d
1771
01:18:40,646 --> 01:18:43,297
d Whose hands are these d
1772
01:18:43,482 --> 01:18:47,890
d All rough and hard? d
1773
01:18:48,154 --> 01:18:55,127
d Nails all torn from toil and care d
1774
01:18:55,495 --> 01:18:58,429
d Who cleaned the house d
1775
01:18:58,631 --> 01:19:02,493
d And kept the yard d
1776
01:19:02,736 --> 01:19:05,322
d Touched my cheek d
1777
01:19:05,505 --> 01:19:10,207
d And stroked my hair? d
1778
01:19:10,477 --> 01:19:13,641
d Thank you, Mama d
1779
01:19:13,847 --> 01:19:17,841
d The Lord give you peace d
1780
01:19:18,085 --> 01:19:20,670
d Bless your voice d
1781
01:19:20,854 --> 01:19:25,327
d And the songs you've sung d
1782
01:19:25,593 --> 01:19:28,179
d Blessed your arms d
1783
01:19:28,362 --> 01:19:32,355
d And your hands and your knees d
1784
01:19:32,600 --> 01:19:35,895
d How you loved us d
1785
01:19:36,104 --> 01:19:40,130
d When we were young d
1786
01:19:40,375 --> 01:19:43,986
d The Lord's my shepherd d
1787
01:19:44,212 --> 01:19:47,311
d I'll not want d
1788
01:19:47,516 --> 01:19:50,899
d I have my mama d
1789
01:19:51,119 --> 01:19:54,861
d My uncles and aunts d
1790
01:19:55,090 --> 01:19:57,807
d Waters so still d
1791
01:19:57,993 --> 01:20:02,303
d And pastures so green d
1792
01:20:02,565 --> 01:20:06,143
d Goodness and mercy d
1793
01:20:06,369 --> 01:20:09,882
d Following me d
1794
01:20:10,106 --> 01:20:14,001
d Goodness and mercy d
1795
01:20:14,243 --> 01:20:20,288
d Following me d
1796
01:20:22,218 --> 01:20:25,033
OK, OK, you're on.
Go get 'em.
1797
01:20:26,623 --> 01:20:28,118
The Johnson Girls, thank you.
1798
01:20:28,258 --> 01:20:31,041
Brought to you by Powdermilk Biscuits
in the big blue box.
1799
01:20:31,228 --> 01:20:35,254
Let's bring 'em in right now
in off that long, dusty, lonesome trail...
1800
01:20:35,499 --> 01:20:39,721
the old trail hands themselves,
Dusty and Lefty.
1801
01:20:43,774 --> 01:20:44,854
Thank you very much.
1802
01:20:44,976 --> 01:20:46,601
Lefty and I are very proud of this.
1803
01:20:46,744 --> 01:20:48,500
It's a brand new number.
1804
01:20:48,646 --> 01:20:53,316
And, uh, we'd like to send it out
to our friends there in, uh...
1805
01:20:53,585 --> 01:20:58,441
Maple Plain and... and Glenwood
and, uh, Renville and of course...
1806
01:20:58,723 --> 01:21:00,665
our good friends
up there on the range.
1807
01:21:00,824 --> 01:21:01,904
This is for you.
1808
01:21:02,027 --> 01:21:03,653
One... two... three.
1809
01:21:08,066 --> 01:21:10,651
Oh, God.
1810
01:21:10,835 --> 01:21:12,624
I'm gonna kill those guys.
1811
01:21:13,972 --> 01:21:15,728
d The blind man's seein' eye dog d
1812
01:21:15,874 --> 01:21:17,881
d Pissed on the blind man's shoe... d
1813
01:21:18,043 --> 01:21:20,083
- # The blinds man said, 'Here, Rover' d
- Oh, no.
1814
01:21:20,246 --> 01:21:22,133
d 'Here's a piece of beef for you' d
1815
01:21:22,281 --> 01:21:24,168
d His wife said, 'Don't reward him' d
1816
01:21:24,317 --> 01:21:25,462
Hey, what are you doin' back there?
1817
01:21:25,584 --> 01:21:27,046
d You can't just let that pass d
1818
01:21:27,186 --> 01:21:28,363
d The blind man said d
1819
01:21:28,488 --> 01:21:29,567
d 'I gotta find his mouth' d
1820
01:21:29,689 --> 01:21:31,861
d 'So I can kick him in the ass' d
1821
01:21:32,025 --> 01:21:33,072
- # Bad jokes d
- Oh, great.
1822
01:21:33,225 --> 01:21:34,207
- # Lord, I love 'em d
- Now what's the difference?
1823
01:21:34,327 --> 01:21:35,538
- # Bad jokes d
- Piss, ass.
1824
01:21:35,662 --> 01:21:37,833
- # Can't get enough of 'em d
- Show's on the way out, anyway.
1825
01:21:37,997 --> 01:21:38,945
d Ooowhee d
1826
01:21:39,065 --> 01:21:41,651
d Bad jokes for me d
1827
01:21:42,968 --> 01:21:43,896
You got one, Dusty?
1828
01:21:44,004 --> 01:21:45,859
- I got one, Lefty.
- Let's hear it.
1829
01:21:46,006 --> 01:21:47,915
d When God created woman d
1830
01:21:48,075 --> 01:21:50,410
d He gave her not two breasts but three d
1831
01:21:50,577 --> 01:21:52,682
d When the middle one got in the way d
1832
01:21:52,846 --> 01:21:54,602
d God performed surgery d
1833
01:21:54,748 --> 01:21:57,236
d Woman stood before God d
1834
01:21:57,418 --> 01:21:59,490
d With the middle breast in hand d
1835
01:21:59,653 --> 01:22:00,863
d Said, 'What do we do' d
1836
01:22:00,987 --> 01:22:02,132
d 'With the useless boob?' d
1837
01:22:02,255 --> 01:22:04,677
d And God created man d
1838
01:22:04,859 --> 01:22:05,807
d Bad jokes d
1839
01:22:05,927 --> 01:22:06,974
d Lord, I love 'em d
1840
01:22:07,095 --> 01:22:08,142
- # Bad jokes d
- Oh, great, boobs.
1841
01:22:08,261 --> 01:22:09,756
- # Can't get enough of 'em d
- Ha. Why not?
1842
01:22:09,896 --> 01:22:10,911
- # Ooowhee d
- Tits, ass, bring it on.
1843
01:22:11,032 --> 01:22:12,047
- The more the merrier.
- # Bad jokes for me d
1844
01:22:12,165 --> 01:22:13,758
What about boobs?
1845
01:22:13,901 --> 01:22:15,560
They're singin' a song
about boobs and poop...
1846
01:22:15,703 --> 01:22:17,525
and who knows what?
Hey, why not?
1847
01:22:17,672 --> 01:22:19,014
Let's just wreck the whole show.
1848
01:22:19,140 --> 01:22:20,318
I guess...
1849
01:22:20,442 --> 01:22:21,652
Let's... let's have a drink.
1850
01:22:21,776 --> 01:22:23,205
Let's get snockered.
What do you say?
1851
01:22:23,345 --> 01:22:25,254
d When a beautiful
young naked woman d
1852
01:22:25,414 --> 01:22:27,519
d Stood up in front of the group d
1853
01:22:27,683 --> 01:22:29,919
d She offered Gramps some super sex d
1854
01:22:30,085 --> 01:22:32,354
d And he said, 'I'll take the soup' d
1855
01:22:32,521 --> 01:22:33,448
d Bad jokes d
1856
01:22:33,554 --> 01:22:34,482
d Lord, I love 'em d
1857
01:22:34,590 --> 01:22:35,605
d Bad jokes d
1858
01:22:35,724 --> 01:22:37,000
d Can't get enough of 'em... d
1859
01:22:37,126 --> 01:22:39,876
Oh, kid.
It's over, kid.
1860
01:22:40,062 --> 01:22:41,491
They're pullin' the plug.
1861
01:22:43,165 --> 01:22:44,092
You ready for another one?
1862
01:22:44,199 --> 01:22:46,109
Yeah, lay it on me.
1863
01:22:46,269 --> 01:22:48,407
d Ole went to the neighborhood dance d
1864
01:22:48,570 --> 01:22:50,610
d And he won the big door prize d
1865
01:22:50,773 --> 01:22:51,918
d It was a toilet brush d
1866
01:22:52,040 --> 01:22:52,968
d And he took it home d
1867
01:22:53,076 --> 01:22:54,985
d And the next week one of the guys d
1868
01:22:55,145 --> 01:22:57,512
d Said, 'Ole, how's that toilet brush?' d
1869
01:22:57,680 --> 01:22:59,688
d 'The one you won
from the neighbors?' d
1870
01:22:59,848 --> 01:23:01,604
d Ole said, 'Oh, it works pretty good' d
1871
01:23:01,752 --> 01:23:04,239
d 'But I prefer toilet paper' d
1872
01:23:04,421 --> 01:23:05,349
d Bad jokes d
1873
01:23:05,455 --> 01:23:06,470
d Lord, I love 'em d
1874
01:23:06,589 --> 01:23:07,637
d Bad jokes d
1875
01:23:07,758 --> 01:23:09,034
d Can't get enough of 'em d
1876
01:23:09,159 --> 01:23:11,166
d Ooowhee d
1877
01:23:11,327 --> 01:23:13,432
d Bad jokes for me d
1878
01:23:13,596 --> 01:23:15,571
d The farmer had a champion bull d
1879
01:23:15,733 --> 01:23:17,588
d Who bred 200 times a year d
1880
01:23:17,735 --> 01:23:20,353
d The farmer's wife said, '200 times?' d
1881
01:23:20,538 --> 01:23:22,448
d 'Isn't that wonderful, dear?' d
1882
01:23:22,606 --> 01:23:24,232
d 'Maybe you ought to watch him' d
1883
01:23:24,375 --> 01:23:26,742
d 'Maybe he'll show you how' d
1884
01:23:26,911 --> 01:23:28,951
d The farmer said, 'He's a heck of a bull' d
1885
01:23:29,113 --> 01:23:30,901
d 'But it wasn't all with the same cow' d
1886
01:23:31,049 --> 01:23:32,609
d Come on, now, bad jokes d
1887
01:23:32,751 --> 01:23:33,678
d Lord, I love 'em d
1888
01:23:33,785 --> 01:23:34,832
d Bad jokes d
1889
01:23:34,953 --> 01:23:36,229
d Can't get enough of 'em d
1890
01:23:36,353 --> 01:23:38,361
d Ooowhee d
1891
01:23:38,522 --> 01:23:40,311
d Bad jokes for me d
1892
01:23:40,459 --> 01:23:43,110
Let's see. I've got...
1893
01:23:43,295 --> 01:23:45,150
one, four, three...
1894
01:23:45,297 --> 01:23:48,144
Did you hear about the Viagra shipment
that got stolen?
1895
01:23:48,333 --> 01:23:49,510
No, who they think did it?
1896
01:23:49,634 --> 01:23:50,779
Well, they don't know...
1897
01:23:50,902 --> 01:23:52,877
but they're on the lookout
for hardened criminals.
1898
01:23:54,639 --> 01:23:55,850
Get Garrison out here.
1899
01:23:55,975 --> 01:23:56,957
They're wrappin' this up.
1900
01:23:57,076 --> 01:23:58,602
You got another one?
1901
01:23:58,743 --> 01:24:01,165
I got another one, Lefty.
1902
01:24:01,347 --> 01:24:04,892
Sven said to his friend,
'Boy, I think my wife died.'
1903
01:24:05,117 --> 01:24:06,972
His friend said,
'Well, what do you mean, you think?'
1904
01:24:07,119 --> 01:24:11,854
'Well, the sex is still the same,
but the dishes are stackin' up.'
1905
01:24:12,124 --> 01:24:14,012
Ha ha ha!
1906
01:24:16,162 --> 01:24:17,144
Hey, Dusty.
1907
01:24:17,264 --> 01:24:19,020
Yeah, Lefty?
1908
01:24:19,166 --> 01:24:22,232
Did you know
that diarrhea was hereditary?
1909
01:24:22,436 --> 01:24:24,323
No, I didn't.
1910
01:24:24,471 --> 01:24:26,510
Yeah, it runs in your jeans.
1911
01:24:26,672 --> 01:24:28,560
Ha ha ha ha!
1912
01:24:30,377 --> 01:24:32,798
Hey, uh, heh, Lefty?
1913
01:24:32,980 --> 01:24:34,060
Yeah? Go ahead.
1914
01:24:34,181 --> 01:24:36,221
Why do they call it PMS?
1915
01:24:36,384 --> 01:24:38,489
PMS? Why, I don't know. Why?
1916
01:24:38,653 --> 01:24:41,303
'Cause Mad Cow was already taken.
1917
01:24:42,689 --> 01:24:44,064
All right, that's enough.
1918
01:24:44,192 --> 01:24:46,909
Ha ha ha!
1919
01:24:47,095 --> 01:24:48,589
Hey, Dusty.
1920
01:24:48,730 --> 01:24:49,657
Yeah, Lefty?
1921
01:24:49,764 --> 01:24:53,855
What do you get when you cross
holy water with castor oil?
1922
01:24:54,102 --> 01:24:56,011
I don't know, Lefty.
What do you get?
1923
01:24:56,170 --> 01:24:57,992
A religious movement.
1924
01:24:59,474 --> 01:25:00,903
Ha ha ha ha!
1925
01:25:01,043 --> 01:25:05,865
Hey, uh... hey, Lefty, what did
the elephant say to the naked man?
1926
01:25:06,148 --> 01:25:07,195
What'd he say?
1927
01:25:07,316 --> 01:25:09,803
It's cute, but can you really
breathe through that thing?
1928
01:25:10,985 --> 01:25:11,913
Come on, now.
1929
01:25:12,021 --> 01:25:13,231
d Bad jokes d
1930
01:25:13,354 --> 01:25:14,282
d Lord, I love 'em d
1931
01:25:14,390 --> 01:25:15,317
d Bad jokes d
1932
01:25:15,424 --> 01:25:16,634
d Can't get enough of 'em d
1933
01:25:16,759 --> 01:25:18,898
d Ooowhee d
1934
01:25:19,061 --> 01:25:21,133
d Bad jokes for me d
1935
01:25:21,297 --> 01:25:22,312
d Bad jokes d
1936
01:25:22,432 --> 01:25:23,380
d Man, I love 'em d
1937
01:25:23,499 --> 01:25:24,426
d Bad jokes d
1938
01:25:24,533 --> 01:25:25,744
d Can't get enough of 'em d
1939
01:25:25,868 --> 01:25:28,006
d Ooowhee d
1940
01:25:28,170 --> 01:25:29,731
d Bad d
1941
01:25:29,873 --> 01:25:30,800
Whoo!
1942
01:25:30,906 --> 01:25:35,892
d Jokes for me d
1943
01:25:38,013 --> 01:25:39,126
Hey!
1944
01:25:40,916 --> 01:25:42,804
Thank you!
1945
01:25:43,453 --> 01:25:44,467
Whoo-hoo!
1946
01:25:47,691 --> 01:25:49,120
We hope you've enjoyed
our show tonight.
1947
01:25:49,260 --> 01:25:51,115
We certainly have enjoyed
having you with us.
1948
01:25:51,262 --> 01:25:53,302
Great God in heaven.
Holy shit.
1949
01:25:53,464 --> 01:25:55,122
We've got six minutes left!
How did that happen?
1950
01:25:55,266 --> 01:25:56,673
Look, have you got
anything for six minutes?
1951
01:25:56,801 --> 01:25:58,110
Have you rehearsed anything?
Anything? Anything?
1952
01:25:58,235 --> 01:25:59,163
Listen to me.
Listen to me.
1953
01:25:59,270 --> 01:26:03,263
Darlin', remember I said to you,
one door closes, another one opens?
1954
01:26:03,507 --> 01:26:04,435
You go downstairs.
1955
01:26:04,542 --> 01:26:06,397
Get your music
and come up and sing.
1956
01:26:06,544 --> 01:26:08,616
- Now?
- Lola, go, go, go.
1957
01:26:08,779 --> 01:26:09,957
You can do it.
1958
01:26:10,081 --> 01:26:11,291
He said, go! Go!
1959
01:26:11,415 --> 01:26:12,343
Before he gets done.
1960
01:26:12,450 --> 01:26:14,784
That gives shy persons
the strength to get up...
1961
01:26:14,952 --> 01:26:16,960
and do what needs to be done.
1962
01:27:13,814 --> 01:27:17,109
So, we'll look forward to seeing you
back here at the Fitzgerald Theater...
1963
01:27:17,317 --> 01:27:18,527
next week at this same time.
1964
01:27:18,652 --> 01:27:20,954
Brought to you once again
by your friends at Powdermilk Biscuits.
1965
01:27:21,121 --> 01:27:23,063
Six minutes.
Lola's gonna sing a song.
1966
01:27:23,223 --> 01:27:24,914
Your barn doors are open.
1967
01:27:25,059 --> 01:27:27,928
But first, we're going to bring
a young woman on...
1968
01:27:28,128 --> 01:27:31,030
to make her debut on our show.
1969
01:27:31,232 --> 01:27:34,461
Let's bring out this young
and very talented...
1970
01:27:34,668 --> 01:27:37,832
young woman who knows
all those good old songs...
1971
01:27:38,039 --> 01:27:40,276
to make her
very first performance...
1972
01:27:40,442 --> 01:27:42,449
right here on our radio show.
1973
01:27:42,610 --> 01:27:47,695
Please welcome now
the beautiful young Miss Lola Johnson.
1974
01:27:47,982 --> 01:27:49,062
Lola Johnson.
1975
01:27:49,185 --> 01:27:50,679
Ladies and gentlemen.
1976
01:28:00,629 --> 01:28:03,858
d Frankie and Johnny were sweethearts d
1977
01:28:04,066 --> 01:28:06,881
d But he was doin' her wrong d
1978
01:28:07,069 --> 01:28:10,365
d He was doin' her wrong
in a bad way d
1979
01:28:10,574 --> 01:28:12,745
d But she was good and strong d
1980
01:28:12,908 --> 01:28:16,072
d He was her man d
1981
01:28:16,279 --> 01:28:18,286
d But he was a jerk d
1982
01:28:18,447 --> 01:28:19,909
Is that the way this song goes?
1983
01:28:20,050 --> 01:28:21,610
Um, sort of.
1984
01:28:21,752 --> 01:28:23,694
d He was in a hotel with Nelly Bly d
1985
01:28:23,854 --> 01:28:27,716
d And the gun went rooty-toot-toot d
1986
01:28:27,958 --> 01:28:30,772
d She shot the bastard in the heart d
1987
01:28:30,962 --> 01:28:32,936
d And ruined his nice suit d
1988
01:28:33,096 --> 01:28:36,358
d He was her man d
1989
01:28:36,566 --> 01:28:38,737
d But he was no damn good d
1990
01:28:41,072 --> 01:28:44,454
d So, they took him
up to the graveyard d
1991
01:28:44,675 --> 01:28:48,253
d And stuck him in the dirt d
1992
01:28:48,479 --> 01:28:51,097
d Which was oh, so very sad d
1993
01:28:51,282 --> 01:28:53,617
d And the waste of a nice clean shirt d
1994
01:28:53,785 --> 01:28:56,818
d He was her man d
1995
01:28:57,021 --> 01:28:59,869
d But he was doin' her wrong d
1996
01:29:00,058 --> 01:29:01,040
What's the next line?
1997
01:29:01,160 --> 01:29:04,575
I've no idea. I don't know.
1998
01:29:04,797 --> 01:29:07,961
d He had no idea what happened d
1999
01:29:08,167 --> 01:29:11,615
d He was wavin' hello to God d
2000
01:29:11,837 --> 01:29:14,487
d He died from eatin' squirrels d
2001
01:29:14,673 --> 01:29:17,423
d And they laid him in the sod d
2002
01:29:17,609 --> 01:29:20,708
d He was her man d
2003
01:29:20,914 --> 01:29:22,921
d And he was doin' her wrong d
2004
01:29:23,082 --> 01:29:25,187
Cool song.
Wrap it up.
2005
01:29:25,351 --> 01:29:28,547
d So that was Frankie and Johnny d
2006
01:29:28,755 --> 01:29:32,050
d And that's the end of my song d
2007
01:29:32,258 --> 01:29:35,487
d She put a hose in his tailpipe d
2008
01:29:35,695 --> 01:29:37,867
d 'Cause he had done her wrong d
2009
01:29:38,031 --> 01:29:40,900
d He was her man d
2010
01:29:41,100 --> 01:29:47,046
d And that's all she wrote d
2011
01:29:48,375 --> 01:29:49,804
Thank you.
2012
01:29:50,010 --> 01:29:52,628
Ha ha ha!
2013
01:29:52,813 --> 01:29:55,180
There's a young woman
who's going a long way.
2014
01:29:55,349 --> 01:29:56,910
We're going, too.
We're out of here,
2015
01:29:57,051 --> 01:29:58,294
And that's our show.
2016
01:29:58,719 --> 01:30:00,475
Remember to keep
your feet on the ground...
2017
01:30:00,621 --> 01:30:02,148
your hopes up high...
2018
01:30:02,289 --> 01:30:04,493
pray for rain,
keep the humor dry...
2019
01:30:04,658 --> 01:30:07,047
and eat those Powdermilk Biscuits.
2020
01:30:07,229 --> 01:30:08,952
Thank you, everybody.
2021
01:30:09,096 --> 01:30:16,679
d Come and sit by my side
if you love me d
2022
01:30:17,072 --> 01:30:24,393
d Do not hasten to bid me adieu d
2023
01:30:24,779 --> 01:30:32,417
d But remember the Red River Valley d
2024
01:30:32,822 --> 01:30:40,754
d And the one
who has loved you so true d
2025
01:30:41,163 --> 01:30:42,243
Show's almost over.
2026
01:30:42,365 --> 01:30:43,706
In more ways than one.
2027
01:30:43,833 --> 01:30:46,320
Nice perfume.
Who are you with? The show?
2028
01:30:46,502 --> 01:30:47,931
In a way.
2029
01:30:48,070 --> 01:30:50,306
I used to listen
to this show every week.
2030
01:30:50,474 --> 01:30:55,110
Hmm. Well, it was great in its time,
but the time's up. Life moves on.
2031
01:30:55,379 --> 01:30:56,808
It does.
2032
01:30:56,946 --> 01:30:58,670
So, be careful driving tonight.
2033
01:30:58,815 --> 01:31:00,790
Need a lift somewhere?
2034
01:31:00,950 --> 01:31:03,503
There's a shortcut to the airport.
2035
01:31:03,686 --> 01:31:08,389
A steep hill followed by a series
of sharp curves and a large oak tree.
2036
01:31:08,659 --> 01:31:10,415
What's your name?
2037
01:31:10,560 --> 01:31:11,487
Asphodel.
2038
01:31:11,595 --> 01:31:13,319
Pretty.
I like your hair that way.
2039
01:31:13,463 --> 01:31:16,332
d Come and sit by my side... d
2040
01:31:16,533 --> 01:31:17,678
When I used to listen to them...
2041
01:31:17,801 --> 01:31:19,972
it was like they were all
my really good friends.
2042
01:31:20,138 --> 01:31:21,763
But something else happened, right?
2043
01:31:21,905 --> 01:31:22,833
Right.
2044
01:31:22,941 --> 01:31:24,915
Well...
2045
01:31:25,075 --> 01:31:29,516
I'm that something else.
2046
01:31:29,781 --> 01:31:37,364
d But remember
the Red River Valley d
2047
01:31:47,933 --> 01:31:49,307
How long is the ride to the airport?
2048
01:31:49,435 --> 01:31:50,362
Twenty minutes.
2049
01:31:50,469 --> 01:31:53,284
She said there was a shortcut.
2050
01:31:53,472 --> 01:31:54,716
Yes, sir. I know it.
2051
01:32:28,476 --> 01:32:31,126
That was the last we saw of him.
2052
01:32:31,311 --> 01:32:33,286
The car hit a tree and blew up.
2053
01:32:35,616 --> 01:32:38,682
Good-bye, axeman.
2054
01:32:38,886 --> 01:32:43,163
But it didn't change a thing.
2055
01:32:43,424 --> 01:32:44,799
They sang Sweet By and By...
2056
01:32:44,925 --> 01:32:51,253
and the audience filed out
and everybody packed up and left.
2057
01:32:51,599 --> 01:32:52,548
First thing in the morning...
2058
01:32:52,667 --> 01:32:54,903
a truck from the demolition
company pulls up...
2059
01:32:55,069 --> 01:33:00,023
and two guys started drilling
for the explosives.
2060
01:33:00,308 --> 01:33:04,050
Just like ya learned
in eighth grade English.
2061
01:33:04,279 --> 01:33:09,036
d So gather ye rosebuds while ye may d
2062
01:33:09,317 --> 01:33:14,914
d Oh, time is still a-flying d
2063
01:33:15,224 --> 01:33:21,301
d This same flower that smiles today d
2064
01:33:21,630 --> 01:33:25,405
d Tomorrow d
2065
01:33:25,634 --> 01:33:27,522
d Will be dying d
2066
01:33:41,085 --> 01:33:42,808
Come on, pal.
2067
01:33:42,953 --> 01:33:44,447
Let me buy you a drink.
2068
01:33:49,760 --> 01:33:50,840
Ah!
2069
01:34:07,979 --> 01:34:09,986
Donna, make it three eggs over.
2070
01:34:10,148 --> 01:34:12,003
- No, listen to her.
- I was tellin' you.
2071
01:34:12,150 --> 01:34:13,132
What were you saying?
2072
01:34:13,251 --> 01:34:15,520
We are talkin'
about doin' a farewell tour.
2073
01:34:15,687 --> 01:34:16,832
- Yeah.
- Oh, who?
2074
01:34:16,955 --> 01:34:18,897
Oh, the whole gang
from the old radio show.
2075
01:34:19,057 --> 01:34:20,912
- Yeah.
- But the show's been over for years.
2076
01:34:21,059 --> 01:34:21,987
Yeah, I mean...
2077
01:34:22,093 --> 01:34:23,719
So? I always wanted to do
a farewell tour.
2078
01:34:23,862 --> 01:34:25,172
I loved doin' that last show.
2079
01:34:25,297 --> 01:34:28,395
I just want to do one last show
and then another one...
2080
01:34:28,600 --> 01:34:30,324
until I'm in a wheelchair.
2081
01:34:30,469 --> 01:34:32,324
I just want to keep doin' them.
2082
01:34:32,471 --> 01:34:34,260
You know, as long as I can
remember the words.
2083
01:34:34,406 --> 01:34:36,162
There's all sorts of towns
we haven't played.
2084
01:34:36,308 --> 01:34:39,439
I mean, you've got Gooseberry Falls
and Lake Winnebigoshish.
2085
01:34:39,645 --> 01:34:42,492
Up in Lake Winnebigoshish
a lot of people are waitin' to see us.
2086
01:34:42,682 --> 01:34:43,729
Well, you... don't count on me.
2087
01:34:43,849 --> 01:34:44,961
I got a lot of stuff happening.
2088
01:34:45,084 --> 01:34:46,197
What?
2089
01:34:46,319 --> 01:34:48,424
Oh, things.
Things that are in the works.
2090
01:34:48,588 --> 01:34:51,271
Different deals I'm... working out.
2091
01:34:51,457 --> 01:34:53,246
I'll be in and out of town a lot.
2092
01:34:53,393 --> 01:34:56,175
- Yeah, OK. So, what about you?
- Hey, I'm free.
2093
01:34:56,362 --> 01:34:57,290
- Oh!
- Great!
2094
01:34:57,397 --> 01:34:59,252
- Workin' at the parking ramp.
- The parkin' ramp?
2095
01:34:59,399 --> 01:35:01,254
Yes. It's a good job.
I like it.
2096
01:35:01,401 --> 01:35:02,349
I read a lot of books.
2097
01:35:02,469 --> 01:35:03,397
Make that four eggs.
2098
01:35:03,503 --> 01:35:04,910
Oh, boy.
You're readin' a lot.
2099
01:35:05,038 --> 01:35:07,460
- Yeah.
- That's interesting.
2100
01:35:07,708 --> 01:35:09,464
Oh, look at this!
Look who's here!
2101
01:35:09,610 --> 01:35:10,951
Oh, my God, I miss these guys.
2102
01:35:11,078 --> 01:35:12,866
Ha ha ha!
2103
01:35:13,013 --> 01:35:15,948
Look who just blew in
from the old prairie.
2104
01:35:16,150 --> 01:35:19,598
I thought you left town
ahead of the sheriff?
2105
01:35:19,820 --> 01:35:22,438
Well, the woman decided
not to press charges.
2106
01:35:22,623 --> 01:35:24,794
Oh, yeah?
What was the crime? Snorin'?
2107
01:35:24,959 --> 01:35:27,196
Ha ha ha!
2108
01:35:27,361 --> 01:35:28,954
Love.
2109
01:35:29,097 --> 01:35:30,526
We just got back in town...
2110
01:35:30,665 --> 01:35:32,324
from playin' the casinos
in South Dakota.
2111
01:35:32,467 --> 01:35:33,896
Yeah? Playin' what? Pinochle?
2112
01:35:34,035 --> 01:35:35,017
Ha ha ha!
2113
01:35:35,136 --> 01:35:36,478
Playin' our music.
2114
01:35:36,604 --> 01:35:38,644
Hey, we hear you might be
gettin' a tour up.
2115
01:35:38,807 --> 01:35:39,789
Oh, yeah.
2116
01:35:39,908 --> 01:35:41,980
We've added some rope tricks
to the repertoire.
2117
01:35:42,144 --> 01:35:44,054
Flaming lariats.
2118
01:35:44,212 --> 01:35:45,739
It's called 'Rings of Fire.'
2119
01:35:45,881 --> 01:35:47,888
Well, you know,
we got a bus with bunk beds...
2120
01:35:48,050 --> 01:35:50,668
and we're goin' back
to playin' churches and schools.
2121
01:35:50,853 --> 01:35:51,780
Look at this.
2122
01:35:51,887 --> 01:35:55,149
She's only been workin' six months
and she's now the manager.
2123
01:35:56,091 --> 01:35:57,018
What does she do?
2124
01:35:57,126 --> 01:35:58,686
Um, I have no idea.
2125
01:35:58,828 --> 01:36:01,097
- Somethin' religious?
- Software.
2126
01:36:01,263 --> 01:36:03,685
Oh, it's big.
It's movin' like monkeys.
2127
01:36:03,866 --> 01:36:05,360
Hi.
2128
01:36:05,501 --> 01:36:07,867
All right, so, I looked
at your pension stuff.
2129
01:36:08,037 --> 01:36:09,214
Oh, good.
2130
01:36:09,339 --> 01:36:11,608
It's a horror show.
2131
01:36:11,774 --> 01:36:14,424
Have you ever heard of mutual funds?
2132
01:36:14,611 --> 01:36:16,750
You know, Mom, honestly,
you would have done a lot better...
2133
01:36:16,913 --> 01:36:20,393
if you'd just stuck it in a shoe box
and put it under your bed.
2134
01:36:20,617 --> 01:36:23,465
Well, that's why I
wanted you to help me.
2135
01:36:23,653 --> 01:36:25,563
So... here.
Sign there.
2136
01:36:25,722 --> 01:36:26,671
What is this?
2137
01:36:26,790 --> 01:36:28,480
I have to get your assets
working again.
2138
01:36:28,625 --> 01:36:30,567
- My what?
- Your assets.
2139
01:36:30,728 --> 01:36:34,306
Oh. Oh! Power of attorney.
2140
01:36:34,531 --> 01:36:36,636
Oh! And you spent $6,000 on a bus?
2141
01:36:36,801 --> 01:36:37,728
Yeah.
2142
01:36:37,835 --> 01:36:39,112
Why didn't you ask me first?
2143
01:36:39,236 --> 01:36:41,145
Well, I'm sorry.
2144
01:36:41,305 --> 01:36:43,672
So...
2145
01:36:43,841 --> 01:36:45,696
Can I keep the bus or?
2146
01:36:48,813 --> 01:36:50,722
We'll talk about it later.
2147
01:36:50,882 --> 01:36:52,737
- Hey...
- That sounds like a no.
2148
01:36:52,884 --> 01:36:53,899
I love you, too.
2149
01:36:54,018 --> 01:36:55,393
Bye, guys.
2150
01:36:55,520 --> 01:36:57,276
Donna?
2151
01:36:57,422 --> 01:36:58,567
- Bye!
- Oh, hey. Bye.
2152
01:36:58,690 --> 01:36:59,770
So long.
2153
01:36:59,891 --> 01:37:00,873
I thought that was
a terrific eulogy you gave...
2154
01:37:00,992 --> 01:37:02,780
for old man Soderberg
at his memorial service.
2155
01:37:02,927 --> 01:37:03,855
Thank you.
2156
01:37:03,962 --> 01:37:05,937
Too bad the old coot
couldn't have been there to hear it.
2157
01:37:06,098 --> 01:37:09,393
Yeah, and to have missed it
by just a few days.
2158
01:37:09,601 --> 01:37:11,456
Hmm. Ha ha!
2159
01:37:11,603 --> 01:37:12,847
Ha ha!
2160
01:37:16,574 --> 01:37:17,818
Ha ha ha!
2161
01:37:26,052 --> 01:37:27,481
I still love your laugh.
2162
01:37:27,620 --> 01:37:28,602
Oh, yeah.
2163
01:37:28,721 --> 01:37:31,241
- Hee hee hee!
- I got it.
2164
01:37:31,424 --> 01:37:33,726
I get bored.
2165
01:37:33,893 --> 01:37:34,940
Uh-huh.
2166
01:37:35,061 --> 01:37:37,134
Ha ha ha!
2167
01:37:37,297 --> 01:37:39,020
Thank you.
2168
01:37:39,166 --> 01:37:41,021
That joke just gets better and better.
2169
01:37:41,168 --> 01:37:43,208
- You know?
- Yep.
2170
01:37:47,007 --> 01:37:48,501
Anybody want to change their order?
2171
01:37:51,078 --> 01:37:52,736
Can I get a coffee?
2172
01:37:53,127 --> 01:37:55,337
Ha ha ha!
2173
01:37:55,638 --> 01:37:58,238
Ha ha ha!
2174
01:38:33,670 --> 01:38:35,557
d In the sweet d
2175
01:38:35,705 --> 01:38:37,112
d In the sweet d
2176
01:38:37,240 --> 01:38:38,866
d By and by d
2177
01:38:39,008 --> 01:38:40,502
d By and by d
2178
01:38:40,643 --> 01:38:47,069
d We shall meet
on that beautiful shore d
2179
01:38:47,416 --> 01:38:50,612
d In the sweet d
2180
01:38:50,819 --> 01:38:54,048
d By and by d
2181
01:38:54,257 --> 01:39:00,902
d We shall meet
on that beautiful shore d
2182
01:39:01,263 --> 01:39:06,413
d There's a land that
is fairer than day d
2183
01:39:06,702 --> 01:39:08,011
Come on, Lola.
2184
01:39:08,136 --> 01:39:14,431
d And by faith
we can see it afar d
2185
01:39:14,776 --> 01:39:21,454
d But the Father
awaits over there d
2186
01:39:21,815 --> 01:39:26,223
d To prepare us
a dwelling place there d
2187
01:39:26,487 --> 01:39:28,592
Everybody! Come on!
Sing it with us now!
2188
01:39:28,756 --> 01:39:30,283
d In the sweet d
2189
01:39:30,424 --> 01:39:31,984
d In the sweet d
2190
01:39:32,126 --> 01:39:33,533
d By and by d
2191
01:39:33,661 --> 01:39:35,571
d By and by d
2192
01:39:35,729 --> 01:39:41,806
d We shall meet
on that beautiful shore d
2193
01:39:42,135 --> 01:39:45,779
d In the sweet d
2194
01:39:46,006 --> 01:39:49,267
d By and by d
2195
01:39:49,475 --> 01:39:55,869
d We shall meet
on that beautiful shore d
2196
01:39:56,214 --> 01:39:59,313
d In the sweet d
2197
01:39:59,519 --> 01:40:00,893
d By and by d
2198
01:40:01,020 --> 01:40:02,929
d Ohh d
2199
01:40:03,089 --> 01:40:09,101
d We shall meet
on that beautiful shore d
2200
01:40:09,428 --> 01:40:13,006
d Yeah, in the sweet d
2201
01:40:13,231 --> 01:40:16,527
d By and by d
2202
01:40:16,735 --> 01:40:20,957
d We shall meet
on that beautiful shore d
2203
01:40:21,206 --> 01:40:23,344
Take it home!
|