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Выбор субтитров

About a Boy 2002 . English subtitles. Субтитры к фильму на английском языке.

1
00:00:47,500 --> 00:00:48,900
Okay, you ready for this?

2
00:00:49,000 --> 00:00:51,000
As ever.
Let's do it.

3
00:00:51,100 --> 00:00:54,100
Let's play Who Wants To Be A Millionaire?

4
00:00:56,000 --> 00:00:59,000
Who wrote the phrase "No man is an island"?

5
00:01:00,500 --> 00:01:03,200
John Donne? John Milton?

6
00:01:03,900 --> 00:01:05,500
John F. Kennedy?

7
00:01:06,000 --> 00:01:08,100
Jon Bon Jovi?

8
00:01:08,600 --> 00:01:10,900
Jon Bon Jovi. Too easy.

9
00:01:11,800 --> 00:01:15,100
And, if I may say so,
a complete load of bollocks.

10
00:01:16,300 --> 00:01:18,800
In my opinion, all men are islands.

11
00:01:20,200 --> 00:01:23,200
And what's more, now's the time to be one.

12
00:01:23,200 --> 00:01:25,100
This is an island age.

13
00:01:25,200 --> 00:01:28,200
A hundred years ago,
you had to depend on other people.

14
00:01:28,400 --> 00:01:31,400
No one had TV or CDs or DVDs or videos...

15
00:01:31,400 --> 00:01:33,100
...or home espresso makers.

16
00:01:33,200 --> 00:01:35,100
Actually, they didn't have anything cool.

17
00:01:35,200 --> 00:01:36,200
Whereas now, you see...

18
00:01:36,300 --> 00:01:38,800
...you can make yourself a little island paradise.

19
00:01:38,900 --> 00:01:41,800
With the right supplies and the right attitude...

20
00:01:41,800 --> 00:01:44,800
...you can be sun-drenched, tropical, a magnet...

21
00:01:44,800 --> 00:01:47,300
...for young Swedish tourists.

22
00:01:47,300 --> 00:01:50,500
Hi, it's Kristina.
I haven't heard from you.

23
00:01:50,700 --> 00:01:54,500
I had a great time last weekend.
So give me a call, okay? 'Bye.

24
00:01:54,600 --> 00:01:58,800
And I like to think that perhaps
I am that kind of island.

25
00:01:59,100 --> 00:02:01,600
I like to think I'm pretty cool.

26
00:02:02,300 --> 00:02:04,400
I like to think I'm Ibiza.

27
00:02:12,700 --> 00:02:15,600
There were people who had
a good time in life.

28
00:02:15,700 --> 00:02:18,700
I was beginning to realize I wasn't one of them.

29
00:02:18,700 --> 00:02:20,500
I just didn't fit.

30
00:02:20,600 --> 00:02:22,500
I didn't fit at my old school.

31
00:02:22,500 --> 00:02:25,300
I definitely didn't fit at my new one.

32
00:02:26,600 --> 00:02:29,600
I heard that some kids
got taught by their parents at home.

33
00:02:29,700 --> 00:02:32,200
Mum couldn't do that,
unless I paid her to teach me.

34
00:02:32,300 --> 00:02:35,500
Because it was just her and me.
And she went to work.

35
00:02:35,600 --> 00:02:37,500
She made 400 pounds a week.

36
00:02:37,600 --> 00:02:39,800
Where was I gonna get that kind of money from?

37
00:02:39,900 --> 00:02:42,900
Maybe if I was like that movie kid,
Haley Joel Osment...

38
00:02:43,000 --> 00:02:44,600
...I could pay her that much.

39
00:02:44,700 --> 00:02:47,200
But if that meant being good at drama, forget it.

40
00:02:47,300 --> 00:02:48,600
I was crap at drama.

41
00:02:48,700 --> 00:02:51,000
'Cause I hated standing up in front of people.

42
00:02:51,100 --> 00:02:53,700
So, basically, I had to go to school.

43
00:03:08,400 --> 00:03:11,100
The sad fact is that,
like any island dweller...

44
00:03:11,200 --> 00:03:15,100
...from time to time I had to visit the mainland.

45
00:03:23,500 --> 00:03:26,800
This is Imogene.
You can hold her if you like.

46
00:03:26,900 --> 00:03:30,600
That's... Well, okay.

47
00:03:32,500 --> 00:03:35,900
Yeah. Got her. Lovely.

48
00:03:37,500 --> 00:03:42,000
Yeah, she's delightful, isn't she?

49
00:03:42,500 --> 00:03:44,300
I know. Isn't she?

50
00:03:47,900 --> 00:03:49,900
To tell the truth,
I'm being crap with her.

51
00:03:50,000 --> 00:03:52,300
You better take her back.

52
00:03:54,200 --> 00:03:57,300
She could've been yours
if you got your act together.

53
00:03:57,300 --> 00:03:59,400
Just think of that, yeah.

54
00:03:59,800 --> 00:04:03,500
So, the place is looking really nice.

55
00:04:03,700 --> 00:04:05,600
Barney, Barney, Barney.

56
00:04:05,700 --> 00:04:07,900
Say hello to Will, Barney.

57
00:04:08,800 --> 00:04:10,900
Here we go. It's the Antichrist.

58
00:04:11,000 --> 00:04:13,500
Hello, Barney. How are you?

59
00:04:15,400 --> 00:04:17,400
- He's lovely.
- Yeah.

60
00:04:18,300 --> 00:04:21,500
And what about you, Will?
Any desire for a family of your own yet?

61
00:04:21,600 --> 00:04:23,400
I'd rather eat Barney's nappies.

62
00:04:23,500 --> 00:04:25,700
Not really. I'm sort of all right as I am.

63
00:04:25,800 --> 00:04:27,400
Please, Will.

64
00:04:27,500 --> 00:04:30,100
What does that mean? "Please" what?

65
00:04:30,200 --> 00:04:31,500
Look at yourself.

66
00:04:31,600 --> 00:04:35,100
You're 38 and you've never had a job...

67
00:04:35,100 --> 00:04:38,100
...or a relationship
that lasted longer than two months.

68
00:04:38,200 --> 00:04:39,900
I wouldn't exactly say you were okay.

69
00:04:40,000 --> 00:04:43,400
I mean, I would say you were a disaster.

70
00:04:43,800 --> 00:04:46,900
I mean, what is the point of your life?

71
00:04:47,100 --> 00:04:48,200
Bloody hell.

72
00:04:48,300 --> 00:04:51,000
You're right.
There's probably no point to my life...

73
00:04:51,000 --> 00:04:53,300
...but thank you for bringing it up.

74
00:04:54,000 --> 00:04:58,600
The reason we wanted you to come here today
was we wanted to ask you...

75
00:05:00,200 --> 00:05:03,300
...how would you like to be
Imogene's godfather?

76
00:05:05,000 --> 00:05:07,000
Seriously?
Seriously.

77
00:05:08,400 --> 00:05:11,000
Listen, I'm really, really touched.

78
00:05:11,200 --> 00:05:13,300
But you must be joking.

79
00:05:14,100 --> 00:05:17,400
I couldn't possibly think
of a worse godfather for Imogene.

80
00:05:17,500 --> 00:05:20,100
You know me.
I'll drop her at her christening.

81
00:05:20,200 --> 00:05:24,500
I'll forget her birthdays until her 18th,
when I'll take her out and get her drunk...

82
00:05:24,600 --> 00:05:28,000
...and possibly, let's face it,
you know, try and shag her.

83
00:05:30,400 --> 00:05:33,700
I mean, seriously, it's a very, very bad choice.

84
00:05:33,800 --> 00:05:36,900
We know, I just thought you had hidden depths.

85
00:05:37,100 --> 00:05:40,000
No. No. You've always had that wrong.

86
00:05:40,100 --> 00:05:41,900
I really am this shallow.

87
00:05:44,100 --> 00:05:46,200
Here we are.

88
00:05:47,100 --> 00:05:51,000
You know you don't have to walk me
to school anymore now, Mum.

89
00:05:51,100 --> 00:05:53,000
I know the way now.

90
00:05:53,300 --> 00:05:56,100
But what if I like walking you to school?

91
00:06:01,500 --> 00:06:02,700
Right.

92
00:06:03,600 --> 00:06:04,800
Who are you?

93
00:06:04,900 --> 00:06:06,000
I'm me.

94
00:06:06,100 --> 00:06:07,900
And what are you not?

95
00:06:08,100 --> 00:06:09,000
A sheep.

96
00:06:09,100 --> 00:06:11,200
Right. And what does a sheep go?

97
00:06:21,600 --> 00:06:22,700
Marcus?

98
00:06:26,000 --> 00:06:27,600
I love you.

99
00:06:29,000 --> 00:06:30,100
Look.

100
00:06:30,900 --> 00:06:32,200
I love you, too.

101
00:06:41,100 --> 00:06:43,000
"I love you, Marcus!"

102
00:06:46,600 --> 00:06:47,800
"Love you!"

103
00:06:48,700 --> 00:06:50,200
Look at him!

104
00:06:54,600 --> 00:06:57,000
While I couldn't accept the offer...

105
00:06:57,200 --> 00:06:59,100
...to become their child's godfather...

106
00:06:59,200 --> 00:07:04,000
...I did allow them to set me up with Angie,
a rather beautiful coworker of Christine's.

107
00:07:04,200 --> 00:07:07,700
They had, however, being them,
neglected to tell me one thing.

108
00:07:08,200 --> 00:07:11,200
There's something you don't know about me.

109
00:07:12,000 --> 00:07:13,200
Yeah?

110
00:07:14,500 --> 00:07:17,600
Something exciting?

111
00:07:19,800 --> 00:07:21,500
I think so, yes.

112
00:07:22,700 --> 00:07:24,700
I have a 3-year-old boy.

113
00:07:26,600 --> 00:07:30,600
I wanted to throw the napkin on the floor,
push over the table and run.

114
00:07:30,800 --> 00:07:33,500
Brilliant. I love kids.

115
00:07:34,400 --> 00:07:37,900
Yeah. I like messing about with them.

116
00:07:38,000 --> 00:07:39,700
Doing kid things.

117
00:07:40,000 --> 00:07:43,100
I'd have been disappointed
if you didn't have a child.

118
00:07:43,200 --> 00:07:45,000
Why do you say that?

119
00:07:45,200 --> 00:07:46,800
God knows.

120
00:07:47,300 --> 00:07:50,400
Mainly because it sounded smooth and winning.

121
00:07:50,900 --> 00:07:56,000
Because I love kids so much. They're so lovely.

122
00:07:57,100 --> 00:08:00,300
What in God's name are you saying,
you idiot?

123
00:08:01,000 --> 00:08:03,500
She can't be buying this rubbish.

124
00:08:06,500 --> 00:08:08,400
But she did buy my rubbish.

125
00:08:08,600 --> 00:08:12,100
And for the next few weeks
I was suddenly Will the Good Guy.

126
00:08:12,200 --> 00:08:15,200
Her kid took to me,
mainly because on our first meeting...

127
00:08:15,300 --> 00:08:18,700
...I took him to the zoo
and held him upside down by his ankles.

128
00:08:18,800 --> 00:08:21,400
I wish relationships
with proper humans were that easy.

129
00:08:21,400 --> 00:08:23,200
You know, you are brilliant.

130
00:08:23,300 --> 00:08:25,600
I came to realize that with single mums...

131
00:08:25,700 --> 00:08:27,800
...particularly ones who'd been badly treated...

132
00:08:27,900 --> 00:08:33,600
...and eventually abandoned by the father
of their children, you became by comparison...

133
00:08:33,700 --> 00:08:36,000
You are a wonderful person.

134
00:08:36,200 --> 00:08:38,800
No, I'm not.

135
00:08:39,000 --> 00:08:41,500
But it was hard
to be wonderful all the time.

136
00:08:41,600 --> 00:08:46,200
Eventually I began to wonder whether
Angie was exactly what I was looking for.

137
00:08:46,400 --> 00:08:50,900
For instance, she was late for the new IMAX
movie because the babysitter hadn't turned up.

138
00:08:51,000 --> 00:08:53,200
I'm so sorry.
It's all right.

139
00:08:53,300 --> 00:08:54,500
That pissed me off.

140
00:08:54,600 --> 00:08:55,600
- You okay?
- Yes.

141
00:08:55,900 --> 00:08:57,700
And there were deeper problems.

142
00:08:57,800 --> 00:09:02,000
She couldn't stay at my place,
and she didn't have a DVD, or satellite or cable.

143
00:09:02,100 --> 00:09:06,400
So we were always stuck watching some crap
made-for-TV movie about a kid with leukemia.

144
00:09:06,600 --> 00:09:09,200
I'm afraid there's nothing
we can do.

145
00:09:09,300 --> 00:09:12,600
God! No! Please, please, no!

146
00:09:13,200 --> 00:09:14,900
I was going to have to end it.

147
00:09:15,000 --> 00:09:16,700
But having been Will the Good Guy...

148
00:09:16,700 --> 00:09:21,500
...I didn't relish going back to my role of Will
the Unreliable, Emotionally-stunted Asshole.

149
00:09:21,600 --> 00:09:22,800
I'm sorry?

150
00:09:23,000 --> 00:09:25,900
You're breaking up with me? You...

151
00:09:26,000 --> 00:09:28,500
...self-centered bastard.

152
00:09:29,000 --> 00:09:32,900
I can't believe I've wasted all this time with you!

153
00:09:33,200 --> 00:09:37,500
You useless, superficial loser.

154
00:09:43,700 --> 00:09:44,700
Will...

155
00:09:44,800 --> 00:09:46,700
Then something magical happened.

156
00:09:46,800 --> 00:09:48,000
I'm sorry.

157
00:09:49,300 --> 00:09:52,900
I'm not sure this is working out. It's not you.

158
00:09:53,700 --> 00:09:57,200
You've been great. It's me.

159
00:09:58,200 --> 00:10:01,700
Well, my situation with Louie and his dad.

160
00:10:02,000 --> 00:10:05,900
I'm not ready to launch into a relationship
with anybody new.

161
00:10:13,700 --> 00:10:15,700
Yeah.

162
00:10:16,100 --> 00:10:17,600
I'm so sorry.

163
00:10:20,900 --> 00:10:22,800
I think I understand.

164
00:10:23,400 --> 00:10:26,700
You're a wonderful man, Will.

165
00:10:29,700 --> 00:10:33,300
I'd never watched a woman
cry without feeling responsible before.

166
00:10:33,500 --> 00:10:36,900
She even wanted me to forgive her.
It felt amazing.

167
00:10:37,000 --> 00:10:40,900
Listen, you don't have anything
to feel sorry about. Really.

168
00:10:41,500 --> 00:10:45,300
So that was the end of Angie,
but the beginning of a whole new thing.

169
00:10:45,400 --> 00:10:46,400
Single mums.

170
00:10:46,500 --> 00:10:49,000
Why hadn't anyone told me about them before?

171
00:10:49,000 --> 00:10:53,100
Passionate sex, a lot of ego massage
and a guilt-free parting.

172
00:10:53,100 --> 00:10:57,500
There must be thousands, just waiting
for a nice guy to sleep with and break up with.

173
00:10:57,600 --> 00:11:00,600
Fabulous, sexy, gorgeous single mums.

174
00:11:03,600 --> 00:11:05,400
Can I have Cocoa Puffs?

175
00:11:05,600 --> 00:11:07,300
No, it's not Sunday.

176
00:11:07,400 --> 00:11:10,500
The crying had started again.
And it scared me...

177
00:11:12,000 --> 00:11:13,600
...'cause now it was in the mornings.

178
00:11:13,800 --> 00:11:15,700
She'd never done that before.

179
00:11:19,000 --> 00:11:21,900
I couldn't figure it out. Nobody was dead.

180
00:11:22,300 --> 00:11:26,500
She had a job as a music therapist,
which is kind of a teacher for sick kids.

181
00:11:26,800 --> 00:11:29,300
So there was enough money
for food and everything.

182
00:11:29,300 --> 00:11:31,100
Should I get my own breakfast?

183
00:11:31,200 --> 00:11:32,900
No, I'm doing it.

184
00:11:41,600 --> 00:11:44,600
So, you looking forward to school today?

185
00:11:48,100 --> 00:11:50,000
Today, you'll need to effect...

186
00:11:50,200 --> 00:11:53,100
...the decimal point when you multiply it by 10...

187
00:11:53,200 --> 00:11:55,500
...100 and 1000.

188
00:11:57,500 --> 00:12:00,300
"Nothing to do but frown

189
00:12:00,700 --> 00:12:05,800
"Rainy days and Mondays always get me down"

190
00:12:10,500 --> 00:12:12,700
Thank you very much, Marcus.

191
00:12:23,500 --> 00:12:25,000
Hi, Nicky. Hi, Mark.

192
00:12:25,100 --> 00:12:28,600
- Are you going to Computer Club later?
- I don't know. Marcus...

193
00:12:29,400 --> 00:12:31,700
Madonna! Go on, give us a song!

194
00:12:31,800 --> 00:12:33,300
You'd like that, wouldn't you?

195
00:12:33,400 --> 00:12:35,300
Spice Girls or something. Three of them.

196
00:12:35,400 --> 00:12:36,700
Yeah. Hey, Spice Girls.

197
00:12:40,500 --> 00:12:42,500
You made me lose my football.

198
00:12:43,700 --> 00:12:47,900
Marcus, we don't really want you
hanging around with us anymore.

199
00:12:48,200 --> 00:12:50,500
- Why not?
- Well, it's because of them.

200
00:12:50,600 --> 00:12:52,800
- They've got nothing to do with me.
- Yes, they do.

201
00:12:52,900 --> 00:12:56,400
We never had trouble with them
before we started hanging out with you.

202
00:12:56,600 --> 00:12:58,900
Now we get it every single day.

203
00:12:59,200 --> 00:13:01,500
Besides, everyone thinks you're weird.

204
00:13:01,600 --> 00:13:03,400
Only a bit, though.

205
00:13:05,800 --> 00:13:07,000
Okay.

206
00:13:09,700 --> 00:13:10,900
'Bye.

207
00:13:17,700 --> 00:13:18,800
There you have it.

208
00:13:19,100 --> 00:13:23,200
I was having a shit time at home
and a shit time at school.

209
00:13:26,900 --> 00:13:29,800
It was fine deciding
single mums were the future...

210
00:13:29,900 --> 00:13:32,900
...but the frustrating truth was
I didn't have their numbers.

211
00:13:33,000 --> 00:13:35,300
- Hi, Dad.
- Hey.

212
00:13:38,300 --> 00:13:40,100
Where did they hang out?

213
00:14:02,400 --> 00:14:05,200
I'm a single father,
I have a 2-year-old boy.

214
00:14:05,200 --> 00:14:09,800
I'm a single father, I have a 2-year-old boy.

215
00:14:09,900 --> 00:14:12,600
I'm a single father, I have a 2-year-old boy.

216
00:14:13,300 --> 00:14:14,400
SPAT.

217
00:14:14,600 --> 00:14:15,900
This was exciting.

218
00:14:16,000 --> 00:14:18,800
A potential gold mine of single mums.

219
00:14:18,800 --> 00:14:21,900
I could see the beautiful creatures now,
getting roaring drunk...

220
00:14:22,000 --> 00:14:25,000
...forgetting their troubles,
ready to rock and roll.

221
00:14:25,100 --> 00:14:27,500
That was when
I was 7 months pregnant.

222
00:14:27,600 --> 00:14:31,900
By the time I had the baby,
he was in Majorca with another woman.

223
00:14:32,900 --> 00:14:36,400
Not even the one
he cheated on me with the first time.

224
00:14:36,900 --> 00:14:40,400
Well, with me, it was the week before the birth.

225
00:14:41,600 --> 00:14:43,600
He said I'd got too fat.

226
00:14:45,200 --> 00:14:47,600
Mine was shagging his secretary.

227
00:14:48,200 --> 00:14:49,700
Such a cliche.

228
00:14:50,200 --> 00:14:53,100
I'll tell you one thing: Men are bastards.

229
00:14:53,400 --> 00:14:54,500
After about 10 minutes...

230
00:14:54,600 --> 00:14:57,900
...I wanted to cut my own penis off
with a kitchen knife.

231
00:15:01,000 --> 00:15:02,100
Me.

232
00:15:02,100 --> 00:15:03,000
Yes.

233
00:15:05,100 --> 00:15:07,200
I have a 2-year-old. Ned.

234
00:15:11,300 --> 00:15:14,400
He's got blue eyes
and sort of sandy-colored hair...

235
00:15:14,500 --> 00:15:16,700
...and he's about 2'3".

236
00:15:18,300 --> 00:15:20,200
And his mum left.

237
00:15:20,700 --> 00:15:23,300
- Really?
- Yeah.

238
00:15:23,900 --> 00:15:27,300
Yeah, I mean,
obviously it was a very big shock...

239
00:15:27,500 --> 00:15:30,000
...because we were so happy, you know?

240
00:15:30,000 --> 00:15:33,600
Sandra's neurology practice
was just up and running...

241
00:15:34,300 --> 00:15:38,800
...and then one day her bags were packed,
and my best friend was waiting outside...

242
00:15:38,900 --> 00:15:40,400
...in his Ferrari.

243
00:15:40,500 --> 00:15:42,200
Yeah. You know, the Modena?

244
00:15:42,300 --> 00:15:47,300
The one with the supercharged engine,
where you can see it through the back window?

245
00:15:48,700 --> 00:15:51,900
- You got dumped then?
- Yeah.

246
00:15:56,300 --> 00:15:59,000
May I ask, does your ex see Ned at all?

247
00:16:01,300 --> 00:16:03,600
Sorry, I didn't catch your name.

248
00:16:04,100 --> 00:16:05,000
Suzie.

249
00:16:05,300 --> 00:16:06,500
Suzie.

250
00:16:07,100 --> 00:16:09,600
She doesn't see much of him, no.

251
00:16:10,000 --> 00:16:12,100
How does he cope with that?

252
00:16:12,400 --> 00:16:14,000
He's a very good little boy.

253
00:16:14,200 --> 00:16:16,400
Very, very brave.

254
00:16:16,500 --> 00:16:18,800
They've got amazing resources, don't they?

255
00:16:18,900 --> 00:16:21,500
Just the other day I was thinking about my ex.

256
00:16:21,600 --> 00:16:26,200
He came crawling up, put his little pudgy arms
around my neck, and he said:

257
00:16:26,400 --> 00:16:28,300
"You hang in there, Dad. "

258
00:16:28,800 --> 00:16:31,200
God, that's amazing for a 2-year-old!

259
00:16:32,400 --> 00:16:33,600
Is it?

260
00:16:36,100 --> 00:16:39,100
Yeah, he's very special. Very, very special.

261
00:16:39,100 --> 00:16:42,100
Sometimes I think, you know,
he's the one taking care of me.

262
00:16:42,200 --> 00:16:44,700
Teaching me the ways of the world.

263
00:16:47,000 --> 00:16:48,300
Sorry.

264
00:16:52,600 --> 00:16:53,500
Thank you.

265
00:16:53,600 --> 00:16:56,700
My God, what a performancel
I was even fooling myself.

266
00:17:02,500 --> 00:17:04,800
There you go. You okay?

267
00:17:04,800 --> 00:17:06,200
Yeah. Perfect, thanks.

268
00:17:06,300 --> 00:17:07,800
- Trust me?
- Of course.

269
00:17:07,900 --> 00:17:10,600
By the end of the evening,
I had a date lined up.

270
00:17:10,700 --> 00:17:12,700
Single parents alone together!

271
00:17:12,800 --> 00:17:17,100
Single parents alone togetherl
All for one and one for alll

272
00:17:19,400 --> 00:17:23,400
The problem was I also had
an imaginary 2-year-old son.

273
00:17:54,200 --> 00:17:58,300
The date was a SPAT picnic in Regent's Park,
with everyone bringing their kids.

274
00:17:58,900 --> 00:18:00,300
Sadly, Ned couldn't be there.

275
00:18:00,400 --> 00:18:03,000
His mum had come
and picked him up at the last second.

276
00:18:03,100 --> 00:18:04,700
- What a shame.
- Yeah.

277
00:18:04,800 --> 00:18:06,000
I'm sorry.

278
00:18:06,200 --> 00:18:09,400
- Got it.
- This is Megan, by the way.

279
00:18:09,700 --> 00:18:11,100
Hello, Megan.

280
00:18:11,200 --> 00:18:12,000
Yeah.

281
00:18:12,100 --> 00:18:14,500
A friend of mine from SPAT
isn't feeling so great...

282
00:18:14,600 --> 00:18:17,300
...so I said that we'd take her kid
to the picnic, too.

283
00:18:17,500 --> 00:18:19,500
- Is that all right?
- Yeah.

284
00:18:19,600 --> 00:18:22,000
The more the merrier. Right.

285
00:18:22,100 --> 00:18:23,900
Come on, slowcoach!

286
00:18:27,300 --> 00:18:28,900
I hated that SPAT-lot.

287
00:18:29,000 --> 00:18:34,300
Mum's friend Suzie was fine, but now there
was that wally who wanted to get off with her.

288
00:18:34,400 --> 00:18:36,400
Marcus, Will. Will, Marcus.

289
00:18:36,800 --> 00:18:38,100
Hi there.

290
00:18:39,700 --> 00:18:40,700
Right.

291
00:18:40,800 --> 00:18:45,900
Pile in, everyone.
Look what a mess Ned made of the car seat.

292
00:18:47,500 --> 00:18:49,300
What a shame he can't come.

293
00:18:49,700 --> 00:18:51,600
So, what do you do?

294
00:18:52,400 --> 00:18:53,300
Me?

295
00:18:54,500 --> 00:18:58,100
There were too many lies
to keep track of so I told the truth.

296
00:18:58,200 --> 00:19:01,600
- Nothing.
- Well, before then.

297
00:19:02,300 --> 00:19:05,000
- What do you mean, before I did nothing?
- Yeah.

298
00:19:05,200 --> 00:19:07,000
I did nothing.

299
00:19:07,700 --> 00:19:10,200
You've never worked?

300
00:19:10,400 --> 00:19:15,000
I've done the odd day here and there, but, no.

301
00:19:16,500 --> 00:19:18,000
Crazy, isn't it?

302
00:19:18,400 --> 00:19:19,400
It's...

303
00:19:23,800 --> 00:19:24,800
Brilliant.

304
00:19:26,200 --> 00:19:28,900
My God, I was going to have to tell her.

305
00:19:29,000 --> 00:19:33,800
What happened, in fact,
was that my dad wrote a song...

306
00:19:33,900 --> 00:19:37,700
...in 1958, and it's quite a famous song...

307
00:19:37,900 --> 00:19:41,200
...and I basically live off the royalties of that.

308
00:19:41,300 --> 00:19:42,700
You know Michael Jackson?

309
00:19:42,800 --> 00:19:44,700
He makes a Ј1,000,000 a minute.

310
00:19:44,800 --> 00:19:47,000
That's Ј60,000,000 an hour.

311
00:19:47,100 --> 00:19:48,900
I don't make a Ј1,000,000 a minute.

312
00:19:49,000 --> 00:19:50,800
- Nothing like, sadly.
- How much then?

313
00:19:50,900 --> 00:19:52,000
Marcus!

314
00:19:52,100 --> 00:19:56,100
I was beginning to wonder
if we'd be stuck with this weird kid all day.

315
00:19:56,200 --> 00:19:58,300
So, what's this song then?

316
00:19:59,100 --> 00:20:02,200
If you can live off it, we must've heard of it.

317
00:20:02,500 --> 00:20:04,700
It's Santa's Super Sleigh.

318
00:20:04,800 --> 00:20:07,000
God, please don't sing it.

319
00:20:07,300 --> 00:20:12,700
"Look who's coming round the bend
It's Santa and his reindeer friends

320
00:20:12,800 --> 00:20:17,600
"With a ho, ho, ho and a hey, hey, hey,
It's Santa's super sleigh"

321
00:20:18,600 --> 00:20:20,900
I expect people do that all the time.

322
00:20:21,400 --> 00:20:23,700
No, I think you two are the first.

323
00:20:23,800 --> 00:20:27,800
Sorry. I don't understand.
How does that make you money?

324
00:20:28,300 --> 00:20:30,300
Do carol singers have to pay you 10 percent?

325
00:20:30,400 --> 00:20:33,900
They should, but you can't
always catch the little bastards.

326
00:20:34,000 --> 00:20:37,100
So, how often do you look after him?
Marcus.

327
00:20:37,200 --> 00:20:39,300
Every once in a while.

328
00:20:40,100 --> 00:20:42,400
His mum's a little off-color sometimes.

329
00:20:42,500 --> 00:20:45,000
You call it off-color, I call it nuts.

330
00:20:45,100 --> 00:20:48,500
She's not nuts, Marcus.
She just needs a weekend taking it easy.

331
00:20:48,600 --> 00:20:52,500
We'll have a nice picnic, and when
you get home, she'll be all rested up.

332
00:20:52,600 --> 00:20:55,400
My God! What the hell is that?

333
00:20:55,500 --> 00:20:57,300
My mum's homemade bread.

334
00:20:59,200 --> 00:21:01,400
It looks pretty good.

335
00:21:01,500 --> 00:21:03,600
No, it isn't. It's healthy.

336
00:21:42,700 --> 00:21:44,700
You miss him, don't you?

337
00:21:46,700 --> 00:21:47,500
Who?

338
00:21:49,900 --> 00:21:50,900
Ned!

339
00:21:51,700 --> 00:21:52,800
Yeah.

340
00:21:53,500 --> 00:21:55,700
Yeah, very much.

341
00:21:55,800 --> 00:21:57,500
He'd have loved this.

342
00:22:00,300 --> 00:22:02,200
I think I killed a duck.

343
00:22:05,900 --> 00:22:07,800
I was only trying to feed it.

344
00:22:08,600 --> 00:22:11,000
What's that floating
in the water next to it?

345
00:22:11,100 --> 00:22:13,000
Is that your mum's bread?

346
00:22:13,200 --> 00:22:16,700
You didn't have to throw the whole loaf.
That would've killed me.

347
00:22:17,400 --> 00:22:20,800
You the one who was throwing
bloody great loaves at the ducks?

348
00:22:21,000 --> 00:22:23,900
Yeah, he was, but I've stopped him now.

349
00:22:24,000 --> 00:22:26,400
You know, boys will be boys, and all that.

350
00:22:26,500 --> 00:22:27,400
So he killed it.

351
00:22:27,500 --> 00:22:30,600
No. Sorry, I misunderstood you.
The duck was dead already.

352
00:22:30,700 --> 00:22:33,500
He was throwing bread
to try and sink the body...

353
00:22:33,600 --> 00:22:36,100
...because Megan here was getting upset.

354
00:22:38,700 --> 00:22:41,800
Marcus wouldn't kill a duck.
Would you, Marcus?

355
00:22:41,900 --> 00:22:45,800
No. I love ducks. They're my
second favorite animal after dolphins.

356
00:22:45,900 --> 00:22:48,600
They can kill sharks with their noses.

357
00:22:51,000 --> 00:22:53,400
I'll have to wade in and get it.

358
00:22:53,700 --> 00:22:56,900
Listen, I hope it's not some sort of epidemic.

359
00:22:58,300 --> 00:23:01,200
I think we beat the rap there, mate.

360
00:23:01,900 --> 00:23:03,700
Yeah. Well.

361
00:23:06,400 --> 00:23:07,600
Marcus?

362
00:23:13,100 --> 00:23:14,300
Mum.

363
00:23:24,700 --> 00:23:29,000
That day, the Dead Duck Day,
was when it all began.

364
00:23:29,800 --> 00:23:34,000
That bloke Will just followed us in
and I didn't tell him not to.

365
00:23:34,200 --> 00:23:38,400
Afterwards, I realized that there was no way
I could have been nervous just then...

366
00:23:38,500 --> 00:23:42,500
...because just then I didn't know
there was anything to be nervous about.

367
00:23:42,600 --> 00:23:45,500
But then I put the key in the lock,
opened the door...

368
00:23:45,600 --> 00:23:46,800
Are you decent?

369
00:23:47,400 --> 00:23:49,900
And a new part of my life started.

370
00:23:50,000 --> 00:23:51,200
Bangl

371
00:23:57,000 --> 00:23:58,500
Jesus Christ.

372
00:23:58,600 --> 00:23:59,600
Oh, my God.

373
00:24:00,500 --> 00:24:03,600
- Will, call an ambulance.
- Marcus, where's the phone?

374
00:24:04,600 --> 00:24:06,800
Where's the phone, mate?

375
00:24:23,500 --> 00:24:25,600
It was horrible. Horrible.

376
00:24:26,300 --> 00:24:29,600
But driving fast behind the ambulance
was fantastic.

377
00:24:30,500 --> 00:24:31,500
She's conscious.

378
00:24:31,800 --> 00:24:33,700
She was okay in the ambulance.

379
00:24:33,800 --> 00:24:35,300
She was asking after you, Marcus.

380
00:24:35,400 --> 00:24:37,200
That's nice of her.

381
00:24:38,300 --> 00:24:42,100
Listen, you know this has
nothing to do with you, don't you?

382
00:24:42,700 --> 00:24:45,400
I mean, you're not the reason that she...

383
00:24:45,700 --> 00:24:49,500
You're not the reason that she's here.
Isn't that right, Will?

384
00:24:52,000 --> 00:24:54,300
Yeah, that's right.

385
00:24:55,800 --> 00:24:57,600
I'll go get you some water.

386
00:24:57,800 --> 00:25:00,900
- I can get that.
- No, it's okay.

387
00:25:08,600 --> 00:25:10,400
Your mum's going to be okay.

388
00:25:10,500 --> 00:25:11,900
Yeah, I suppose.

389
00:25:12,500 --> 00:25:15,100
That's not the point, though, is it?

390
00:25:15,200 --> 00:25:18,300
Right, you mean you're afraid
she might try again?

391
00:25:18,400 --> 00:25:20,300
Just shut up, all right?

392
00:25:22,100 --> 00:25:24,200
There you go, warm and flat.

393
00:25:24,400 --> 00:25:25,900
Are you with Fiona Brewer?

394
00:25:26,100 --> 00:25:27,400
Yes, I'm her friend Suzie.

395
00:25:27,500 --> 00:25:30,300
This is Marcus and Will.

396
00:25:30,400 --> 00:25:33,100
She's recovering well,
but we'll keep her overnight.

397
00:25:33,200 --> 00:25:38,100
I'm going to get a consent form for Ms. Brewer
so the boy can stay with you two tonight.

398
00:25:38,400 --> 00:25:39,500
Right.

399
00:25:42,100 --> 00:25:44,200
So, my place or yours?

400
00:25:44,700 --> 00:25:45,900
Sorry.

401
00:25:59,200 --> 00:26:00,300
Okay.

402
00:26:00,400 --> 00:26:03,000
- I should get back to Ned, I think.
- I'll take that.

403
00:26:03,100 --> 00:26:04,500
All right.

404
00:26:04,500 --> 00:26:06,600
All in all, this was very interesting.

405
00:26:06,800 --> 00:26:08,800
So I'll call.

406
00:26:08,900 --> 00:26:11,400
But I wouldn't want to do it every night.

407
00:26:11,500 --> 00:26:12,600
See you soon.

408
00:26:12,700 --> 00:26:15,800
The thing is,
a person's life is like a TV show.

409
00:26:15,900 --> 00:26:18,200
I was the star of The Will Show.

410
00:26:18,400 --> 00:26:21,500
And The Will Show wasn't an ensemble drama.

411
00:26:21,700 --> 00:26:24,200
Guests came and went, but I was the regular.

412
00:26:24,300 --> 00:26:26,700
It came down to me, and me alone.

413
00:26:27,200 --> 00:26:30,200
If Marcus' mum
couldn't manage her own show...

414
00:26:30,300 --> 00:26:34,300
...if her ratings were falling,
it was sad, but that was her problem.

415
00:26:34,500 --> 00:26:39,500
Ultimately, the whole single-mum plot line
was a bit complicated for me.

416
00:28:12,300 --> 00:28:15,200
I got the letter. Thanks.

417
00:28:18,300 --> 00:28:21,400
Oh, my God. I'd forgotten.

418
00:28:22,600 --> 00:28:24,000
You forgot?

419
00:28:24,100 --> 00:28:25,700
You forgot a suicide letter?

420
00:28:25,800 --> 00:28:29,200
I didn't think I'd have to remember it, did I?

421
00:28:33,500 --> 00:28:36,500
Did you read the part
where I said I'd always love you?

422
00:28:36,600 --> 00:28:39,600
It's a bit hard for you
to love me when you're dead, isn't it?

423
00:28:39,700 --> 00:28:41,100
I'm sorry.

424
00:28:48,400 --> 00:28:52,500
I can understand why you're angry, Marcus.

425
00:28:57,900 --> 00:29:01,300
I don't feel the same as I did yesterday,
if that's any help.

426
00:29:01,400 --> 00:29:02,300
What?

427
00:29:02,800 --> 00:29:04,600
It's all just gone away? All that?

428
00:29:05,100 --> 00:29:06,100
No, but...

429
00:29:07,500 --> 00:29:10,700
...at the moment, I feel better.

430
00:29:11,100 --> 00:29:13,000
"At the moment" is no good to me.

431
00:29:13,100 --> 00:29:16,800
I can see you feel better at the moment.
You just put the kettle on.

432
00:29:16,900 --> 00:29:21,000
But what happens when you finish your tea?
What happens when I go back to school?

433
00:29:21,000 --> 00:29:24,500
- I can't be here to watch you all the time.
- I know.

434
00:29:25,800 --> 00:29:29,700
We have to look after each other. The two of us.

435
00:29:30,600 --> 00:29:34,500
Suddenly I realized
two people isn't enough.

436
00:29:35,000 --> 00:29:36,200
You need a backup.

437
00:29:36,300 --> 00:29:39,600
If you're only two people,
and someone drops off the edge...

438
00:29:39,700 --> 00:29:41,200
...then you're on your own.

439
00:29:41,300 --> 00:29:43,000
Two isn't a large enough number.

440
00:29:43,100 --> 00:29:45,100
You need three, at least.

441
00:29:45,400 --> 00:29:48,100
- Three what?
- Nothing.

442
00:29:48,600 --> 00:29:50,400
But I'd had a great idea.

443
00:29:51,500 --> 00:29:55,100
The important thing in island living
is to be your own activities director.

444
00:29:55,200 --> 00:29:58,000
I find the key is to think of a day
as units of time...

445
00:29:58,000 --> 00:30:01,500
...each unit consisting
of no more than 30 minutes.

446
00:30:01,500 --> 00:30:03,900
Full hours can be a little bit intimidating...

447
00:30:04,000 --> 00:30:06,500
...and most activities take about half an hour.

448
00:30:06,500 --> 00:30:08,300
Taking a bath: One unit.

449
00:30:08,900 --> 00:30:10,300
Watching Countdown:

450
00:30:10,300 --> 00:30:11,700
Okay...

451
00:30:12,000 --> 00:30:13,200
One unit.

452
00:30:14,100 --> 00:30:16,100
Web-based research:

453
00:30:17,800 --> 00:30:18,800
Two units.

454
00:30:18,900 --> 00:30:22,400
Exercising: Three units.

455
00:30:23,300 --> 00:30:26,100
Having my hair carefully disheveled: Four units.

456
00:30:26,100 --> 00:30:28,300
It's amazing how the day fills up.

457
00:30:28,400 --> 00:30:30,500
I often wonder, to be absolutely honest...

458
00:30:30,600 --> 00:30:33,300
...if I'd ever really have time for a job.

459
00:30:34,200 --> 00:30:36,200
How do people cram them in?

460
00:30:41,700 --> 00:30:43,000
Yeah, Will here.

461
00:30:43,300 --> 00:30:45,400
It's Marcus.
Pardon?

462
00:30:45,600 --> 00:30:46,800
It's Marcus.

463
00:30:46,900 --> 00:30:48,100
Marcus?

464
00:30:48,800 --> 00:30:51,200
Marcus. Hi.

465
00:30:52,200 --> 00:30:54,000
How'd you get my number?

466
00:30:54,300 --> 00:30:55,200
From Suzie.

467
00:30:55,300 --> 00:30:58,200
I thought you'd like to take me out for the day
on Saturday.

468
00:30:58,300 --> 00:31:00,200
And why did you think that, Marcus?

469
00:31:00,300 --> 00:31:02,000
Suzie said we hit it off.

470
00:31:02,100 --> 00:31:03,800
Did she?
Yeah.

471
00:31:04,000 --> 00:31:06,900
- And you said, "See you soon. "
- I said what?

472
00:31:07,000 --> 00:31:08,000
"See you soon."

473
00:31:08,100 --> 00:31:11,900
The night you dropped us off. Remember?
You said, "See you soon. "

474
00:31:12,000 --> 00:31:16,000
This is soon, all right, Marcus.

475
00:31:16,300 --> 00:31:19,500
The thing is, mate,
my life is kind of hectic at the moment.

476
00:31:19,600 --> 00:31:21,700
Why? I thought you did nothing.

477
00:31:22,800 --> 00:31:26,700
I've got Ned and stuff to look after.

478
00:31:27,100 --> 00:31:30,600
Matter of fact, I should be on the way
to preschool right now.

479
00:31:30,700 --> 00:31:32,000
What's that noise?

480
00:31:32,000 --> 00:31:33,600
That's a lawn mower.

481
00:31:33,700 --> 00:31:36,500
So, you know, just time-wise it's not...

482
00:31:38,000 --> 00:31:41,200
Tell you what, just hold the line one sec.

483
00:31:41,300 --> 00:31:43,100
Hold on, one sec. Thanks.

484
00:31:43,200 --> 00:31:45,300
But then I thought, "Why not?"

485
00:31:45,300 --> 00:31:48,100
Why shouldn't I take
the poor little sod out for a meal?

486
00:31:48,200 --> 00:31:51,500
I could be Uncle Will.
Cool Uncle Will, King of the Kids.

487
00:31:53,100 --> 00:31:55,100
Okay, Marcus. You're on.

488
00:31:55,200 --> 00:31:57,200
I'll come if you take my mum, too.

489
00:31:57,300 --> 00:32:01,300
She has no money, so we'll have to go
somewhere cheap or you'll have to treat us.

490
00:32:01,400 --> 00:32:03,800
Listen, don't beat about the bush, Marcus.

491
00:32:03,900 --> 00:32:06,900
Why should I? We're poor.
You're rich. You pay.

492
00:32:07,000 --> 00:32:08,800
Bring your little boy, I don't mind.

493
00:32:08,900 --> 00:32:10,200
That's really big of you.

494
00:32:10,300 --> 00:32:12,400
Fine. Come round at 12:30 or something.

495
00:32:12,500 --> 00:32:13,800
Remember where we live?

496
00:32:13,800 --> 00:32:18,200
Flat 2, 31 Craysfield Road,
Islington, London, N12SF.

497
00:32:18,300 --> 00:32:19,800
England, the world, the universe.

498
00:32:19,900 --> 00:32:22,600
Yeah.
Marcus?

499
00:32:27,600 --> 00:32:30,900
So, Fiona, how are you?

500
00:32:32,200 --> 00:32:36,800
- I mean, how are you feeling?
- My stomach's fine.

501
00:32:37,900 --> 00:32:39,100
Great.

502
00:32:40,400 --> 00:32:43,100
I must still be a bit barmy, though.

503
00:32:43,200 --> 00:32:46,300
This kind of thing doesn't go away overnight,
does it?

504
00:32:47,200 --> 00:32:48,300
No.

505
00:32:50,900 --> 00:32:55,000
If Mum was going to get Will to marry
her, she'd have to quit making jokes.

506
00:32:55,100 --> 00:32:56,200
At least she looked good.

507
00:32:56,300 --> 00:32:58,000
I had her put on that nice hairy jumper...

508
00:32:58,100 --> 00:33:01,100
...and the earrings she got from her friend
that went to Zimbabwe.

509
00:33:01,300 --> 00:33:03,500
The kid seemed to think
this was a date.

510
00:33:03,600 --> 00:33:05,900
As for his mum, she was clearly insane...

511
00:33:06,000 --> 00:33:09,100
...and appeared to be wearing
some kind of Yeti costume.

512
00:33:09,200 --> 00:33:12,400
This had better be quick.
We were definitely not ordering starters.

513
00:33:12,500 --> 00:33:14,100
I'll start with the artichoke, please.

514
00:33:14,200 --> 00:33:17,400
Then I'll have a mushroom omelet with fries
and a Coke.

515
00:33:17,500 --> 00:33:20,400
- I'll have the vegetable platter.
- We're vegetarians.

516
00:33:20,700 --> 00:33:21,800
I'd never have guessed.

517
00:33:21,900 --> 00:33:24,200
Steak sandwich, please, mate. Thanks.

518
00:33:28,100 --> 00:33:30,100
This was going really well.

519
00:33:30,200 --> 00:33:34,200
I wondered if we were going to move into
Will's place or move into someplace new.

520
00:33:36,400 --> 00:33:40,600
"I heard he sang a good song

521
00:33:41,300 --> 00:33:44,300
"I heard he had a style"

522
00:33:46,000 --> 00:33:48,800
I knew, of course,
the song couldn't last forever...

523
00:33:48,800 --> 00:33:51,400
...that I'd soon be at home, tucked up in bed.

524
00:33:51,500 --> 00:33:54,000
I knew it, but I couldn't feel it.

525
00:33:55,500 --> 00:33:58,800
"And there he was, this young boy"

526
00:33:59,100 --> 00:34:02,300
I must've been insane.
All I'd wanted was a date with Suzie.

527
00:34:02,400 --> 00:34:03,800
This was my punishment.

528
00:34:03,900 --> 00:34:08,200
"Strumming my pain with his fingers"

529
00:34:09,700 --> 00:34:12,500
The worst part was
when they closed their eyes.

530
00:34:12,700 --> 00:34:15,600
"Killing me softly with his song

531
00:34:15,700 --> 00:34:17,500
"Killing me softly"

532
00:34:18,200 --> 00:34:19,900
Come sing with us, Will.

533
00:34:20,300 --> 00:34:22,900
I should really get going. Thanks.

534
00:34:24,500 --> 00:34:27,400
That's the problem with charity.
You must mean it.

535
00:34:27,500 --> 00:34:29,200
You have to mean things to help people.

536
00:34:29,300 --> 00:34:33,100
Like the time I volunteered
to help out at a soup kitchen...

537
00:34:33,100 --> 00:34:35,500
...and very nearly made it.

538
00:34:35,600 --> 00:34:37,600
Or the time at Amnesty International.

539
00:34:37,700 --> 00:34:41,600
Did you know in Burma you get seven years
in prison for telling jokes?

540
00:34:41,700 --> 00:34:45,200
Next time you laugh, think of Pa Pa Lay,
the Burmese standup comedian.

541
00:34:45,300 --> 00:34:48,400
We're at a crucial stage
in our struggle for human rights...

542
00:34:48,400 --> 00:34:51,300
...which have been grossly abused
by the ruling junta.

543
00:34:51,400 --> 00:34:53,000
We need your support more than ever.

544
00:34:53,000 --> 00:34:55,000
Together we can make a difference...

545
00:34:55,000 --> 00:34:58,300
You're kidding.
And what's your boyfriend say about that?

546
00:34:58,700 --> 00:35:01,900
Wait a minute.
You say you haven't got a boyfriend?

547
00:35:02,000 --> 00:35:04,500
Talk about human rights violations.

548
00:35:09,800 --> 00:35:12,300
Is that right? You're in the bath now?

549
00:35:13,700 --> 00:35:15,900
You have to mean things to help people.

550
00:35:15,900 --> 00:35:17,700
Fiona meant Killing Me Softly.

551
00:35:17,800 --> 00:35:22,400
Killing Me Softly meant something to her
and look where she ended up.

552
00:35:24,300 --> 00:35:28,400
Me, I didn't mean anything, about anything,
to anyone.

553
00:35:28,700 --> 00:35:32,400
I knew that guaranteed me
a long, depression-free life.

554
00:36:01,700 --> 00:36:05,100
Yet over the next few days,
I did have a strange feeling.

555
00:36:05,100 --> 00:36:07,800
Like a presence lurking at the back of my mind.

556
00:36:07,900 --> 00:36:09,700
And I didn't like it.

557
00:36:23,200 --> 00:36:25,500
You don't have a kid, do you?

558
00:36:26,800 --> 00:36:27,700
What?

559
00:36:27,800 --> 00:36:30,000
You don't have a kid, do you?

560
00:36:30,100 --> 00:36:32,200
Of course I do! What are you on about?

561
00:36:32,300 --> 00:36:33,300
No, you don't.

562
00:36:33,400 --> 00:36:36,700
I've been watching you,
and you don't have a kid.

563
00:36:38,200 --> 00:36:41,100
What is it to you, anyway?
Nothing.

564
00:36:41,400 --> 00:36:45,600
Except you've been lying to me,
my mum and my mum's friend.

565
00:36:46,300 --> 00:36:47,800
- Can I come in?
- No.

566
00:36:47,900 --> 00:36:49,000
Why?

567
00:36:49,100 --> 00:36:50,100
'Cause I'm busy.

568
00:36:50,400 --> 00:36:54,500
- What are you doing?
- I'm watching TV.

569
00:36:55,400 --> 00:36:57,800
I could watch it with you, if you like.

570
00:36:57,900 --> 00:36:59,200
That's very nice of you...

571
00:36:59,300 --> 00:37:01,600
...but I usually manage on my own, thanks.

572
00:37:04,500 --> 00:37:06,800
Don't you have homework to do, or something?

573
00:37:06,900 --> 00:37:08,800
- Want to help?
- No, that's not what I meant.

574
00:37:08,900 --> 00:37:11,100
I meant, why don't you go home
and do your homework?

575
00:37:11,200 --> 00:37:12,800
I'll do you a deal.

576
00:37:12,800 --> 00:37:17,100
I won't tell anyone you don't have a kid
if you go out with my mum.

577
00:37:21,400 --> 00:37:23,800
You'd want your mum
to go out with someone like me?

578
00:37:23,900 --> 00:37:25,400
You're not too bad.

579
00:37:25,400 --> 00:37:28,600
I mean, you told lies,
but apart from that you seem okay.

580
00:37:29,500 --> 00:37:32,200
And she's sad. I think she'd like a boyfriend.

581
00:37:33,500 --> 00:37:35,500
I can't just go out with someone...

582
00:37:35,600 --> 00:37:39,000
...because you want me to.
I'd have to like the person, as well.

583
00:37:39,200 --> 00:37:42,800
- What's wrong with her?
- Nothing's wrong with her, it's just the system.

584
00:37:42,900 --> 00:37:45,700
That's how it...
I'm not talking about this with you.

585
00:37:45,800 --> 00:37:47,100
Just go.

586
00:37:47,200 --> 00:37:49,100
Okay. But I'll be back.

587
00:37:49,200 --> 00:37:51,200
I'm really scared!

588
00:37:52,800 --> 00:37:56,600
That's the best I could come up with,
"I'm scared."

589
00:37:56,800 --> 00:37:59,900
But as a matter of fact, I was.

590
00:39:06,200 --> 00:39:07,700
Okay, that's it. Tim, goodbye.

591
00:39:08,000 --> 00:39:10,200
- Jill, goodbye. Carol, goodbye.
- Goodbye.

592
00:39:10,300 --> 00:39:14,100
And from me, arrivederci. Bye-bye.

593
00:39:23,100 --> 00:39:24,900
Thanks. See you.

594
00:39:40,600 --> 00:39:43,500
Hello, everybody.
Welcome to the game of Countdown.

595
00:39:43,600 --> 00:39:46,700
You remember yesterday, Carol,
I revealed to a grateful nation...

596
00:39:46,800 --> 00:39:48,700
...that our guest, Tom O'Connell-

597
00:39:48,700 --> 00:39:51,700
Yes.
He, like all of us, changes for each show.

598
00:39:51,800 --> 00:39:53,200
But he is such a-

599
00:39:56,800 --> 00:39:58,400
Is that right?
Yeah.

600
00:39:58,500 --> 00:40:01,600
Another term for Hosta, I think.

601
00:40:02,000 --> 00:40:03,000
Yes, well.

602
00:40:03,100 --> 00:40:07,300
Named after Heinrich Christian Funck,
who also invented disco dancing.

603
00:40:10,300 --> 00:40:12,600
Yes. I've got all his audios.

604
00:40:50,700 --> 00:40:54,700
Mum, did you always know
I was going to be a vegetarian?

605
00:40:55,300 --> 00:40:56,600
Yeah, of course I did.

606
00:40:56,700 --> 00:41:00,300
I didn't decide on the spur of the moment
'cause we ran out of sausages.

607
00:41:00,400 --> 00:41:02,700
Did you ask me if I wanted to be a vegetarian?

608
00:41:02,900 --> 00:41:04,700
What, when you were born?

609
00:41:04,900 --> 00:41:07,100
I do the cooking and I don't want to cook meat.

610
00:41:07,200 --> 00:41:09,700
You have to eat what I eat.

611
00:41:11,000 --> 00:41:13,600
But you don't let me go to McDonald's, either.

612
00:41:14,200 --> 00:41:16,700
Is this premature teenage rebellion?

613
00:41:17,300 --> 00:41:19,700
I can't stop you from going to McDonald's.

614
00:41:19,800 --> 00:41:22,400
I'd just be disappointed if you did.

615
00:41:25,300 --> 00:41:28,600
Don't worry, Mum.
I won't go to McDonald's.

616
00:41:32,300 --> 00:41:36,700
After a few visits, Will seemed to think
he had to ask me serious questions.

617
00:41:36,800 --> 00:41:40,900
But I knew he really wanted to watch
Warrior Princess.

618
00:41:40,900 --> 00:41:42,800
So, how's it going at home then?

619
00:41:42,900 --> 00:41:45,600
- You mean my mum?
- Yeah.

620
00:41:46,000 --> 00:41:48,000
She's all right, thanks.

621
00:41:51,300 --> 00:41:53,700
I mean, you know, she's...

622
00:41:55,400 --> 00:41:59,200
Yeah, I know. No, nothing like that.

623
00:42:03,000 --> 00:42:05,100
Does it still bother you, then?

624
00:42:06,200 --> 00:42:07,700
Does it bother me?

625
00:42:09,600 --> 00:42:11,100
Are you decent?

626
00:42:15,700 --> 00:42:17,400
Every single day.

627
00:42:17,600 --> 00:42:20,000
That's why I come here, instead of going home.

628
00:42:20,200 --> 00:42:22,900
A bit. When I think about it.

629
00:42:25,400 --> 00:42:27,200
Fucking hell.

630
00:42:30,500 --> 00:42:34,300
I don't know why he swore like that,
but it made me feel better.

631
00:42:35,200 --> 00:42:38,800
It made me feel like I wasn't being pathetic
to get so scared.

632
00:42:42,300 --> 00:42:45,300
I wouldn't make the mistake of asking
about Fiona again.

633
00:42:45,300 --> 00:42:47,100
Marcus was clearly screwed up about it...

634
00:42:47,200 --> 00:42:51,100
...and unfortunately I couldn't think
of anything to say that'd be of any value.

635
00:42:51,200 --> 00:42:53,800
Next time he could talk to Suzie,
or a counselor...

636
00:42:54,000 --> 00:42:57,100
...or anybody capable
of something more than an obscenity.

637
00:42:57,100 --> 00:42:59,400
Shit! It can't be.

638
00:43:02,700 --> 00:43:04,800
November-the-sodding-19.

639
00:43:04,900 --> 00:43:09,100
Six weeks before Christmas
and already they were playing the bloody thing.

640
00:43:09,700 --> 00:43:10,900
Dad?

641
00:43:18,700 --> 00:43:20,600
What was your dad like?

642
00:43:21,400 --> 00:43:22,900
A bit sad, really.

643
00:43:23,500 --> 00:43:27,100
You know, he wrote one crap song
that turned out to be a massive hit...

644
00:43:27,200 --> 00:43:31,000
...and then spent the rest of his life
trying to write a better one.

645
00:43:31,100 --> 00:43:33,000
Do you ever want to write songs like him?

646
00:43:33,100 --> 00:43:35,300
Is that what the guitar's for?

647
00:43:36,800 --> 00:43:37,900
No.

648
00:43:39,300 --> 00:43:41,800
So, that's just there to look cool.

649
00:43:42,400 --> 00:43:43,400
Yeah.

650
00:43:47,000 --> 00:43:49,400
I like Santa's Super Sleigh.

651
00:44:06,400 --> 00:44:09,500
Madonna! Come here!
We've got something.

652
00:44:09,800 --> 00:44:12,100
He's getting away, look!
Hurry up!

653
00:44:12,300 --> 00:44:15,800
On Pet Rescue today,
the clever stoat keeps everyone...

654
00:44:15,900 --> 00:44:18,200
...on their toes in Somerset.

655
00:44:44,000 --> 00:44:45,400
Hey!

656
00:44:45,600 --> 00:44:47,500
What are you doing?
Who are you?

657
00:44:47,600 --> 00:44:48,800
Who am I?

658
00:44:49,000 --> 00:44:53,100
Bugger off, that's who I am! Go on, piss off!

659
00:44:55,100 --> 00:44:56,600
Who were they, then?

660
00:44:56,700 --> 00:44:58,100
Who?

661
00:44:58,100 --> 00:44:59,200
What do you mean, "Who?"

662
00:44:59,300 --> 00:45:02,100
The ones
trying to embed sweets into your skull.

663
00:45:02,300 --> 00:45:03,300
Oh, them.

664
00:45:03,400 --> 00:45:07,300
They're just a couple of older kids.
They started following me after school.

665
00:45:07,400 --> 00:45:09,100
Does this happen often?

666
00:45:09,200 --> 00:45:11,900
They never chucked sweets before,
they just thought of that.

667
00:45:11,900 --> 00:45:15,500
I'm not talking about the sweets.
The kids trying to kill you.

668
00:45:15,600 --> 00:45:17,900
Yeah, they give me a hard time.

669
00:45:18,100 --> 00:45:21,600
You know, about my hair,
and my clothes and singing and stuff.

670
00:45:21,700 --> 00:45:23,200
And what? And singing?

671
00:45:24,600 --> 00:45:27,500
Sometimes I sing out loud without noticing.

672
00:45:28,300 --> 00:45:29,900
That's not a brilliant idea, is it?

673
00:45:30,000 --> 00:45:34,000
I said I did it without noticing, didn't I?
It just happens!

674
00:45:34,400 --> 00:45:38,100
I'm not going to do it on purpose, am I?
I'm not stupid, you know.

675
00:45:38,300 --> 00:45:42,400
My advice is to keep out of people's way.
Try to make yourself invisible.

676
00:45:42,500 --> 00:45:43,900
How can I be invisible?

677
00:45:44,000 --> 00:45:46,300
One machine in your kitchen
is an invisible machine?

678
00:45:46,400 --> 00:45:48,100
I don't think so.

679
00:45:50,300 --> 00:45:53,200
I just try not to think of it, that's all.

680
00:45:54,400 --> 00:45:57,900
It happens, and I wish it didn't,
but that's life, isn't it?

681
00:46:00,100 --> 00:46:02,600
There's nothing I can do about it.

682
00:46:06,000 --> 00:46:07,100
No.

683
00:46:09,000 --> 00:46:12,100
There is something we can do about it, Marcus.

684
00:46:12,900 --> 00:46:14,500
You're coming with me.

685
00:46:14,600 --> 00:46:18,100
I was worried he was going to take me
to the headmistress' office.

686
00:46:19,700 --> 00:46:21,600
But instead he took me shopping.

687
00:46:21,700 --> 00:46:22,900
I don't get it.

688
00:46:23,000 --> 00:46:24,600
We're starting with your feet.

689
00:46:24,700 --> 00:46:28,700
I can't make you invisible,
but I can make you blend in with the crowd.

690
00:46:29,600 --> 00:46:33,000
I don't know how to tie them.
They've got these funny strappy things.

691
00:46:33,100 --> 00:46:34,400
It's called Velcro.

692
00:46:34,400 --> 00:46:36,900
It's a revolutionary new technology.

693
00:46:39,600 --> 00:46:42,700
For Christ's sake. It's not hard.

694
00:46:45,000 --> 00:46:47,000
All right, wait a minute, it is a bit hard.

695
00:46:47,100 --> 00:46:50,000
- Everything all right?
- Yeah, thanks.

696
00:46:51,500 --> 00:46:54,300
Pretty trendy, your old man, isn't he?

697
00:46:57,800 --> 00:46:59,800
There. You think you look cool, don't you?

698
00:46:59,900 --> 00:47:01,100
Don't know.

699
00:47:01,300 --> 00:47:05,100
- Do you think I look cool?
- Yeah, Marcus.

700
00:47:06,100 --> 00:47:09,000
- I think you look cool.
- Yeah.

701
00:47:11,600 --> 00:47:14,900
That's it, you got the walk. That's really cool.

702
00:47:16,400 --> 00:47:19,600
Brilliant. High five. Yeah.

703
00:47:20,000 --> 00:47:23,200
I was suddenly hit by an extraordinary
rush of well-being.

704
00:47:23,300 --> 00:47:26,100
So this is what people meant by a natural high.

705
00:47:26,200 --> 00:47:28,500
And it only cost Ј60.

706
00:47:28,500 --> 00:47:31,500
I had made an unhappy boy temporarily happy.

707
00:47:31,700 --> 00:47:33,900
And there wasn't anything in it for me at all.

708
00:47:34,000 --> 00:47:36,000
I didn't even want to shag his mum.

709
00:47:47,300 --> 00:47:50,100
Marcus! What happened to your shoes?

710
00:47:50,300 --> 00:47:52,000
They stole them.

711
00:48:02,100 --> 00:48:04,100
Why would anyone want to steal your shoes?

712
00:48:04,200 --> 00:48:06,400
I could see I had to tell the truth.

713
00:48:06,500 --> 00:48:09,500
The problem was,
the truth would lead to a lot more questions.

714
00:48:09,600 --> 00:48:11,200
They were nice ones.

715
00:48:11,300 --> 00:48:13,600
They were just ordinary brown lace-ups.

716
00:48:13,700 --> 00:48:16,900
No, they weren't. They were cool new trainers.

717
00:48:17,000 --> 00:48:19,400
Where did you get cool new trainers?

718
00:48:19,500 --> 00:48:21,200
She had loads more questions.

719
00:48:21,300 --> 00:48:23,100
Will bought them for me.

720
00:48:24,800 --> 00:48:25,800
Will?

721
00:48:27,000 --> 00:48:29,600
- The guy who took us to lunch?
- Yeah.

722
00:48:30,000 --> 00:48:31,900
He's sort of become my friend.

723
00:48:32,500 --> 00:48:34,200
He's sort of become your friend?

724
00:48:34,300 --> 00:48:36,800
She kept repeating
the last thing I said.

725
00:48:36,900 --> 00:48:38,500
Except she shouted it.

726
00:48:38,800 --> 00:48:41,100
I go round to his place after school.

727
00:48:41,200 --> 00:48:43,900
You go round to his place after school!

728
00:48:43,900 --> 00:48:47,700
- You see, he doesn't really have a kid.
- He doesn't really have a kid?

729
00:48:47,800 --> 00:48:50,000
Can I play computer games now?

730
00:48:50,200 --> 00:48:51,200
Where does he live?

731
00:48:51,400 --> 00:48:54,200
He's not there at the moment.
He's out to dinner.

732
00:48:56,300 --> 00:48:59,300
Christine had asked me to dinner
for a pep talk.

733
00:48:59,400 --> 00:49:02,800
You will end up childless and alone.

734
00:49:02,800 --> 00:49:04,900
Both fingers crossed, yeah.

735
00:49:06,800 --> 00:49:08,300
You must have a lot of courage.

736
00:49:08,400 --> 00:49:10,400
Why is that, Christine?

737
00:49:11,100 --> 00:49:14,500
Most people need something in their lives
to keep them afloat...

738
00:49:14,600 --> 00:49:17,600
...and you have absolutely nothing.

739
00:49:18,400 --> 00:49:20,300
Doesn't that scare you?

740
00:49:21,000 --> 00:49:23,000
Do you know what you want?

741
00:49:24,600 --> 00:49:26,200
Yes, I do. I'll have the steak-

742
00:49:26,200 --> 00:49:29,800
What the hell are these little
after-school tea parties about?

743
00:49:30,300 --> 00:49:32,200
Hi. Sorry? What did you say?

744
00:49:32,300 --> 00:49:36,500
I was just wondering why a single,
childless man would want to hang out...

745
00:49:36,500 --> 00:49:39,000
...with a 12-year-old boy every day?

746
00:49:39,200 --> 00:49:42,200
You didn't tell your mum
that you've been coming round?

747
00:49:42,300 --> 00:49:44,700
- I think I forgot.
- Tell me what?

748
00:49:45,300 --> 00:49:47,100
What are you doing with my son?

749
00:49:47,300 --> 00:49:49,600
Wait a minute. What are you suggesting here?

750
00:49:49,700 --> 00:49:51,900
- I'm not suggesting anything.
- I think you are.

751
00:49:52,000 --> 00:49:55,600
You were suggesting that
I've been interfering with your son.

752
00:49:55,700 --> 00:50:00,200
I'm simply asking you
why you entertain 12-year-olds in your flat.

753
00:50:00,200 --> 00:50:02,700
- My God!
- Oh, my God!

754
00:50:03,700 --> 00:50:06,700
What do you have to say for yourself?

755
00:50:07,300 --> 00:50:08,500
Well?

756
00:50:08,500 --> 00:50:10,300
Don't "well" me!

757
00:50:10,400 --> 00:50:12,000
Don't "well" me about this!

758
00:50:12,100 --> 00:50:14,800
He comes over uninvited every night!
Do you know why?

759
00:50:14,900 --> 00:50:18,700
He's having the shit bullied out of him at school!
And you haven't got a clue.

760
00:50:18,800 --> 00:50:20,900
You send him out like a lamb to the slaughter!

761
00:50:21,000 --> 00:50:24,600
He's been taken to pieces every day of the week,
you daft, fucking hippie!

762
00:50:24,600 --> 00:50:27,300
I think you're being a bit melodramatic.
Marcus is fine.

763
00:50:27,400 --> 00:50:31,600
Strange. Will had it right, Mum didn't.
It should be the other way around.

764
00:50:31,600 --> 00:50:33,600
You haven't had much contact with kids.

765
00:50:33,600 --> 00:50:36,400
I used to be a bloody kid!
I went to a bloody school.

766
00:50:36,500 --> 00:50:39,900
I know when kids can't settle down
and when kids are miserable!

767
00:50:40,000 --> 00:50:43,700
Look at him, for Christ's sake!
Don't accuse me of being melodramatic.

768
00:50:43,700 --> 00:50:47,200
- This coming from a woman who tried to-
- Cowabunga!

769
00:50:48,400 --> 00:50:51,200
- What's the matter with you?
- Nothing.

770
00:50:51,400 --> 00:50:53,000
I just felt like a shout.

771
00:50:53,000 --> 00:50:54,300
Jesus, what a family.

772
00:50:54,500 --> 00:50:57,900
Will, you're disturbing the other customers.

773
00:50:58,000 --> 00:50:59,600
It's fine. I'm sorry. I'm done.

774
00:50:59,700 --> 00:51:02,300
- Okay, so, you're not...
- What?

775
00:51:03,100 --> 00:51:05,300
No, I'm not! No, I'm not.

776
00:51:05,900 --> 00:51:07,600
Listen, don't worry about it.

777
00:51:07,700 --> 00:51:09,900
I won't open the door to Marcus again, okay?

778
00:51:10,000 --> 00:51:12,300
I'll be glad to be rid of the pair of you, frankly.

779
00:51:12,400 --> 00:51:14,200
Go on. Bugger off.

780
00:51:16,700 --> 00:51:17,800
Sorry.

781
00:51:27,200 --> 00:51:28,600
So that's it, is it?

782
00:51:28,700 --> 00:51:31,500
You're just out of his life, like that.

783
00:51:31,700 --> 00:51:32,500
Excuse me?

784
00:51:32,600 --> 00:51:34,800
Let's say you're right and I'm wrong.

785
00:51:34,900 --> 00:51:36,800
Let's say there's this whole world...

786
00:51:36,900 --> 00:51:40,400
...that I don't understand,
and somehow, miraculously, you do.

787
00:51:40,500 --> 00:51:42,600
What are you going to do about it?

788
00:51:42,700 --> 00:51:45,700
I'm not going to do anything.
He's none of my business.

789
00:51:45,800 --> 00:51:48,500
- You're a selfish bastard.
- That's what I tell him.

790
00:51:48,600 --> 00:51:52,200
- He always puts himself first.
- But I'm on my own.

791
00:51:52,600 --> 00:51:53,600
It's just me.

792
00:51:53,600 --> 00:51:56,400
I'm not putting myself first.
There's nobody else.

793
00:51:56,500 --> 00:51:57,500
Yes, there is!

794
00:51:57,600 --> 00:52:00,000
There's Marcus. You're involved now.

795
00:52:00,100 --> 00:52:02,300
He keeps coming around your bloody house.

796
00:52:02,400 --> 00:52:04,900
You've come into his life for a reason.

797
00:52:04,900 --> 00:52:06,600
You can't just shut him out.

798
00:52:06,700 --> 00:52:09,800
You can't shut life out. "No man is an island. "

799
00:52:09,900 --> 00:52:11,800
- She's right, you know.
- Yeah, she is.

800
00:52:11,900 --> 00:52:13,400
No, she's not! She's wrong!

801
00:52:13,500 --> 00:52:15,400
Some men are islands. I'm a bloody island!

802
00:52:15,500 --> 00:52:16,900
I'm bloody Ibiza!

803
00:52:18,300 --> 00:52:20,400
What are you talking about?

804
00:52:21,100 --> 00:52:23,500
Do you want to come over for Christmas?

805
00:52:26,200 --> 00:52:29,400
No, Marcus, I do not want
to come over for bloody Christmas.

806
00:52:29,600 --> 00:52:33,800
I do not want to spend Christmas
with Miss Granola Suicide and her spawn.

807
00:52:35,500 --> 00:52:37,800
I'd always thought
what you did with Christmas...

808
00:52:37,900 --> 00:52:41,200
...was sort of a statement about
where you stood in life.

809
00:52:41,700 --> 00:52:45,100
I was going to spend this Christmas
the way I usually did.

810
00:52:45,300 --> 00:52:48,400
Watching videos and getting drunk and stoned.

811
00:53:01,200 --> 00:53:04,500
Before you came,
I was all alone.

812
00:53:04,900 --> 00:53:06,800
It is bad to be alone.

813
00:53:07,300 --> 00:53:10,300
Alone, bad.

814
00:53:11,100 --> 00:53:13,100
Friend, good.

815
00:53:13,600 --> 00:53:16,900
Friend, goodl

816
00:53:18,700 --> 00:53:20,300
Now come here.

817
00:53:20,700 --> 00:53:23,900
The good news was it wasn't
just me and Fiona and Marcus.

818
00:53:23,900 --> 00:53:26,700
The bad news was, well...

819
00:53:26,900 --> 00:53:30,700
So, you're Marcus' dad.

820
00:53:31,200 --> 00:53:36,700
Yeah, I guess so.
And this is my girlfriend, Lindsey.

821
00:53:40,500 --> 00:53:42,000
And Lindsey's mum.

822
00:53:45,200 --> 00:53:46,700
Hi there.

823
00:53:55,500 --> 00:53:58,400
- Thanks, Dad.
- That's okay.

824
00:53:58,900 --> 00:54:00,500
I had to hand it to the kid.

825
00:54:00,600 --> 00:54:04,000
He could be enthusiastic
about some truly crap present.

826
00:54:04,500 --> 00:54:07,100
Wow, a tambourine! Thanks, Mum.

827
00:54:07,900 --> 00:54:09,100
Isn't that cool, Will?

828
00:54:09,200 --> 00:54:11,900
Yeah, that'll come in handy.

829
00:54:12,000 --> 00:54:14,100
I saw it and I thought, "This'll be perfect. "

830
00:54:14,200 --> 00:54:19,000
Maybe you can perform at that school concert.
Get a pop group together. Make some friends.

831
00:54:19,600 --> 00:54:21,000
Maybe, Mum.

832
00:54:23,100 --> 00:54:27,000
When you sing,
it brings sunshine and happiness into my heart.

833
00:54:28,200 --> 00:54:29,600
Thanks, Mum.

834
00:54:34,600 --> 00:54:37,300
This one's from me.

835
00:54:44,900 --> 00:54:47,800
Brilliant! What is it?

836
00:54:48,100 --> 00:54:49,500
It's a CD, Marcus.

837
00:54:50,000 --> 00:54:52,800
By Mystikal. They're cool. You'll like them.

838
00:54:52,900 --> 00:54:55,100
And what kind of music is Mystikal?

839
00:54:55,400 --> 00:54:58,300
It's sort of world music.

840
00:54:59,000 --> 00:55:00,600
"Shake Ya Ass."

841
00:55:01,000 --> 00:55:02,800
Slash rap type thing.

842
00:55:03,700 --> 00:55:05,600
Shake Ya Ass?

843
00:55:05,700 --> 00:55:07,000
Is he Moroccan?

844
00:55:07,100 --> 00:55:09,100
I'm afraid we haven't got a CD player.

845
00:55:09,200 --> 00:55:10,200
It's great anyway.

846
00:55:10,300 --> 00:55:14,700
I know you haven't got a CD player,
so, I got you one of them as well.

847
00:55:15,000 --> 00:55:17,000
What a lucky boy.

848
00:55:18,300 --> 00:55:19,600
Look, Mum.

849
00:55:20,100 --> 00:55:22,800
- Open yours, Will.
- All right. Thanks a lot.

850
00:55:27,800 --> 00:55:30,600
- Marcus, is this a joke?
- Yeah.

851
00:55:32,200 --> 00:55:33,500
It's not bad.

852
00:55:33,900 --> 00:55:36,900
Hi. Sorry, I'm dead late!

853
00:55:37,100 --> 00:55:39,100
- Have I missed anything?
- No, come on in.

854
00:55:39,200 --> 00:55:41,800
- Merry Christmas.
- Merry Christmas!

855
00:55:42,500 --> 00:55:44,000
Hey!

856
00:55:45,400 --> 00:55:47,100
Long time no see.

857
00:55:48,700 --> 00:55:49,900
Where's Megan?

858
00:55:50,000 --> 00:55:54,400
At her dad's. Where's Ned?
At his mum's for Christmas?

859
00:56:01,500 --> 00:56:02,500
Yeah.

860
00:56:02,600 --> 00:56:05,900
No. I should probably go, shouldn't I?

861
00:56:06,300 --> 00:56:10,100
You could go pose as Santa,
try and shag some carol singers.

862
00:56:10,200 --> 00:56:12,200
Are you a professional Santa?

863
00:56:12,300 --> 00:56:13,500
How lovely!

864
00:56:13,600 --> 00:56:16,100
Right. That's it. I'm off.

865
00:56:16,200 --> 00:56:17,900
Thank you very much. It was great.

866
00:56:18,000 --> 00:56:20,700
Suzie has every right to express her anger.

867
00:56:20,800 --> 00:56:22,400
Yes, and she's expressed it.

868
00:56:22,500 --> 00:56:24,800
Now I have a right to bugger off.

869
00:56:24,900 --> 00:56:27,000
Thanks a lot. 'Bye.

870
00:56:27,000 --> 00:56:28,200
Wait!

871
00:56:28,700 --> 00:56:30,500
He's my friend. I invited him.

872
00:56:30,600 --> 00:56:32,600
I should be able to tell him when to go home.

873
00:56:32,700 --> 00:56:35,100
I haven't told Will to go, Marcus.

874
00:56:35,200 --> 00:56:38,400
Suzie's angry and has every right to be,
and she's telling him so.

875
00:56:38,500 --> 00:56:39,600
She's right, Marcus.

876
00:56:39,800 --> 00:56:41,600
Just leave it, okay?

877
00:56:42,200 --> 00:56:44,600
All he did was make up a kid for a couple weeks.

878
00:56:44,700 --> 00:56:47,200
God, that's nothing. So what? Who cares?

879
00:56:47,300 --> 00:56:49,400
Kids at school do worse than that every day!

880
00:56:49,400 --> 00:56:52,400
The point is, Marcus,
Will left school a long time ago.

881
00:56:52,400 --> 00:56:54,700
He should've grown out
of making people up by now.

882
00:56:54,800 --> 00:56:57,100
- That's for sure.
- It's not fair to gang up on him.

883
00:56:57,200 --> 00:56:58,900
He's been better behaved since then.

884
00:56:59,100 --> 00:57:04,300
He bought me trainers, he lets me go round
to his house and he knows what kids need.

885
00:57:04,400 --> 00:57:07,500
What?
Expensive footwear and obscene music?

886
00:57:07,500 --> 00:57:10,600
If there's something you really need
then we can talk about it.

887
00:57:10,700 --> 00:57:14,300
No, we can't. It's not a discussion,
it's an argument, and you always win.

888
00:57:14,400 --> 00:57:17,400
- Why not just tell me what to do?
- I want you to think for yourself!

889
00:57:17,500 --> 00:57:20,000
I'm thinking for myself! And I want Will to stay!

890
00:57:20,100 --> 00:57:22,600
He's not the only one
who ever did anything wrong!

891
00:57:22,700 --> 00:57:24,900
Remember how we met? Remember why?
Because you-

892
00:57:25,000 --> 00:57:29,600
Because you threw a loaf of bread
at a duck's head and killed it, basically.

893
00:57:34,100 --> 00:57:36,400
Excuse me? What's this about a duck?

894
00:57:36,400 --> 00:57:38,900
Are we having duck? Delicious!

895
00:57:41,500 --> 00:57:43,600
Of course we were not having duck.

896
00:57:43,700 --> 00:57:46,600
Instead we had nut loaf with parsnip gravy.

897
00:57:48,400 --> 00:57:51,200
As I sat there, I had a strange feeling.

898
00:57:52,000 --> 00:57:53,800
I was enjoying myself.

899
00:57:54,500 --> 00:57:57,100
I'd never really enjoyed Christmas before.

900
00:57:57,300 --> 00:57:59,600
My mother used to make me sing
Santa's Super Sleigh...

901
00:57:59,700 --> 00:58:02,100
...in front of my inebriated uncles and aunts...

902
00:58:02,300 --> 00:58:04,600
...just to get at my dad, I think.

903
00:58:05,000 --> 00:58:08,700
But Christmas at Marcus',
I'm ashamed to say it, gave me...

904
00:58:08,800 --> 00:58:10,500
...a warm, fuzzy feeling.

905
00:58:11,000 --> 00:58:14,500
I held that feeling responsible
for the strange events that followed.

906
00:58:18,400 --> 00:58:21,100
First of all, Marcus got a crush on a girl.

907
00:58:21,200 --> 00:58:23,200
Hello.
Piss off.

908
00:58:25,200 --> 00:58:29,200
And then, even stranger, so did I.

909
00:58:30,300 --> 00:58:31,900
It was all Marcus' fault, really...

910
00:58:32,000 --> 00:58:36,300
...because once you open your door
to one person, anyone can come in.

911
00:58:37,000 --> 00:58:39,100
On New Year's Eve, I met Rachel.

912
00:58:39,200 --> 00:58:41,900
She was interesting, smart and attractive.

913
00:58:42,000 --> 00:58:45,600
And for about five minutes,
I had her convinced that I was, too.

914
00:58:45,700 --> 00:58:47,800
...things like political events.

915
00:58:48,000 --> 00:58:48,800
Okay.

916
00:58:48,900 --> 00:58:50,300
You in television?

917
00:58:50,700 --> 00:58:54,100
Am I in television? No.

918
00:58:54,100 --> 00:58:56,300
- Everyone else is in television.
- Yeah.

919
00:58:56,400 --> 00:58:57,600
I watch television.

920
00:58:57,600 --> 00:59:00,700
Right, right.
So you're more in front of it than in it.

921
00:59:00,800 --> 00:59:02,800
- In it, yeah.
- Yes, I get it, yeah.

922
00:59:02,900 --> 00:59:04,100
It was torture.

923
00:59:04,200 --> 00:59:08,600
For five minutes I realized what life would be like
if I were, in any way, interesting.

924
00:59:08,700 --> 00:59:12,200
If I had anything to say for myself,
if I did anything.

925
00:59:12,400 --> 00:59:14,100
But I didn't do anything.

926
00:59:14,700 --> 00:59:18,800
And in about 30 seconds she'd know
and she'd be gone like a shot.

927
00:59:19,000 --> 00:59:21,500
So what do you do?

928
00:59:23,700 --> 00:59:27,200
I'm sort of taking a bit of time off at the moment.

929
00:59:27,300 --> 00:59:29,700
- Sounds good, yeah.
- Yeah.

930
00:59:30,600 --> 00:59:32,300
Time off from what?

931
00:59:32,900 --> 00:59:39,100
To be absolutely honest,
time off from time off, in fact.

932
00:59:39,300 --> 00:59:44,200
The interesting thing about me is
I don't actually do anything.

933
00:59:47,400 --> 00:59:50,400
- You don't do anything?
- Actually, no.

934
00:59:53,000 --> 00:59:55,400
- Nothing.
- Nope.

935
00:59:56,200 --> 00:59:57,200
Wow.

936
00:59:58,500 --> 00:59:59,700
That's...

937
01:00:01,300 --> 01:00:02,800
Now, Rachel, darling.

938
01:00:04,100 --> 01:00:07,300
East Coast or West Coast rap?

939
01:00:07,400 --> 01:00:08,600
I have absolutely no...

940
01:00:08,700 --> 01:00:12,900
There. She was gone.
There was no more to say.

941
01:00:13,800 --> 01:00:16,200
All rap music sounds exactly the same to me.

942
01:00:16,300 --> 01:00:17,200
Or was there?

943
01:00:17,300 --> 01:00:21,100
I tell you what. I know a 12-year-old
who'd kill you for saying that.

944
01:00:21,200 --> 01:00:22,900
- Really?
- Yes.

945
01:00:23,000 --> 01:00:25,700
- So do I, come to that.
- Yeah?

946
01:00:26,100 --> 01:00:28,800
- Yeah. What's yours called?
- Mine?

947
01:00:30,400 --> 01:00:34,000
He's called Marcus.

948
01:00:35,000 --> 01:00:37,500
Mine's Ali. Alistair.

949
01:00:38,100 --> 01:00:39,700
And there it was.

950
01:00:39,700 --> 01:00:42,800
It wasn't a lie.
It was 100 percent her assumption.

951
01:00:43,300 --> 01:00:45,600
Well, 50 percent, at the very least.

952
01:00:48,500 --> 01:00:52,300
I was in fantasyland again.
But this time it was different.

953
01:00:52,700 --> 01:00:57,900
SPAT was for fun. This was serious.
I acted in self-defense.

954
01:01:06,200 --> 01:01:08,300
We arranged to get our lads together.

955
01:01:08,400 --> 01:01:11,400
Which means
we arranged for us to get together.

956
01:01:11,700 --> 01:01:14,200
Single parents, alone together.

957
01:01:15,700 --> 01:01:17,800
Happy New Year!

958
01:01:18,900 --> 01:01:20,800
I was in deep trouble.

959
01:01:22,400 --> 01:01:25,500
And there was only one person
who could help me out.

960
01:01:35,400 --> 01:01:40,100
"Shake ya ass, but watch ya self
Shake ya ass, show me what you workin' with

961
01:01:40,300 --> 01:01:42,100
"Shake ya ass, watch ya self

962
01:01:44,200 --> 01:01:48,200
- "Show me what you workin' with"
- What did you just say to me?

963
01:01:49,400 --> 01:01:52,500
You heard me, squitty little shitty
snot-nosed bastard!

964
01:01:52,600 --> 01:01:53,700
Sorry.

965
01:01:53,900 --> 01:01:56,200
I was singing along to this song by Mystikal.

966
01:01:56,400 --> 01:01:57,800
It's a rap.

967
01:01:57,900 --> 01:01:59,400
You like rap?

968
01:01:59,600 --> 01:02:00,500
A little.

969
01:02:00,600 --> 01:02:03,800
It's by black people, mostly.
They're angry most of the time.

970
01:02:03,900 --> 01:02:06,400
But sometimes they just want to have sex.

971
01:02:07,600 --> 01:02:08,800
You taking a piss?

972
01:02:08,800 --> 01:02:10,600
'Cause if you are, you'll get a slap.

973
01:02:10,700 --> 01:02:12,200
I'm not taking a piss.

974
01:02:12,300 --> 01:02:15,100
I don't even know how to take a piss.

975
01:02:15,500 --> 01:02:17,600
- What's your name?
- Marcus.

976
01:02:20,100 --> 01:02:21,500
I'm Ellie.

977
01:02:21,800 --> 01:02:23,400
Hi, Ellie. Nice to meet you.

978
01:02:23,500 --> 01:02:28,000
Not so fast. I'm not ready for physical contact.
Next thing you know, we'll be having sex.

979
01:02:28,100 --> 01:02:30,100
And where will that get us?

980
01:02:30,200 --> 01:02:33,400
And stop telling strangers to shake their ass.

981
01:02:34,200 --> 01:02:36,200
Okay, Ellie. See you!

982
01:02:47,000 --> 01:02:48,500
Hello, mate.

983
01:02:49,700 --> 01:02:52,200
Listen, I need your help.

984
01:02:54,600 --> 01:02:56,900
Why did you tell this lady I was your son?

985
01:02:57,000 --> 01:02:58,200
No, I didn't tell her.

986
01:02:58,300 --> 01:03:01,300
I told you,
she just got the wrong end of the stick.

987
01:03:01,300 --> 01:03:02,700
So just tell her.

988
01:03:02,800 --> 01:03:04,900
- No. Can't do that.
- Why not?

989
01:03:04,900 --> 01:03:09,300
We're really going around in circles here.
Just accept the facts, okay?

990
01:03:09,500 --> 01:03:11,000
You're my son.

991
01:03:11,100 --> 01:03:13,000
I'll tell her, if you like. I don't mind.

992
01:03:13,100 --> 01:03:15,500
That's very kind of you, Marcus, but no.

993
01:03:15,600 --> 01:03:17,900
- Why not?
- For Christ's sake!

994
01:03:17,900 --> 01:03:21,600
She's got a rare disease
and if she believes something that's not right...

995
01:03:21,700 --> 01:03:26,100
...then hears the truth, her brain will boil
in her head and she'll die, okay?

996
01:03:26,700 --> 01:03:28,600
That's a load of shit.

997
01:03:29,400 --> 01:03:33,200
I'm really interested in this woman.

998
01:03:33,500 --> 01:03:35,700
What do you mean, interested?

999
01:03:36,100 --> 01:03:38,000
What's so interesting about her?

1000
01:03:38,100 --> 01:03:39,800
Okay, Marcus, here.

1001
01:03:40,200 --> 01:03:43,100
Here's my last scrap of dignity. Enjoy it.

1002
01:03:43,400 --> 01:03:45,900
I want to go out with her. Okay?

1003
01:03:45,900 --> 01:03:48,400
I'd like her to be my girlfriend. There, I said it.

1004
01:03:48,400 --> 01:03:51,100
Brilliant! Why didn't you just say that?

1005
01:03:51,500 --> 01:03:53,400
I don't know.

1006
01:03:53,800 --> 01:03:56,900
I was embarrassed or something,
'cause this is a bit new for me.

1007
01:03:57,000 --> 01:03:59,600
I just met her, her name's Rachel.
She's sort of-

1008
01:03:59,700 --> 01:04:01,500
There's this girl at school. Ellie.

1009
01:04:01,600 --> 01:04:03,500
I kind of want her to be my girlfriend.

1010
01:04:03,600 --> 01:04:05,300
I'm not exactly sure.

1011
01:04:05,500 --> 01:04:07,200
I've been meaning to ask you.

1012
01:04:07,200 --> 01:04:11,300
What's the difference between
a girl who's your friend and a girlfriend?

1013
01:04:11,300 --> 01:04:14,800
Well, I don't know.

1014
01:04:15,300 --> 01:04:17,600
Do you want to touch her?

1015
01:04:17,700 --> 01:04:19,000
Is that so important?

1016
01:04:19,100 --> 01:04:20,700
Yeah, you've heard about sex, right?

1017
01:04:20,800 --> 01:04:22,400
It is kind of a big deal.

1018
01:04:22,500 --> 01:04:24,600
I know. I'm not stupid.

1019
01:04:25,200 --> 01:04:27,700
I just can't believe there's nothing more to it.

1020
01:04:27,800 --> 01:04:31,900
I mean, like, I want to be with her more.
I want to be with her all the time.

1021
01:04:32,000 --> 01:04:34,900
And I want to tell her things
I don't even tell you or Mum.

1022
01:04:35,000 --> 01:04:37,500
And I don't want her to have another boyfriend.

1023
01:04:37,600 --> 01:04:39,600
If I could have all those things...

1024
01:04:39,700 --> 01:04:43,000
...I wouldn't really mind if I touched her or not.

1025
01:04:43,900 --> 01:04:45,900
Well, you'll learn, Marcus.

1026
01:04:46,300 --> 01:04:48,500
You won't feel like that forever.

1027
01:04:52,700 --> 01:04:54,400
Okay, how do I look?

1028
01:04:54,500 --> 01:04:56,300
Good. How do I look?

1029
01:04:58,500 --> 01:05:01,500
Just be as normal as you can, okay?

1030
01:05:02,500 --> 01:05:04,200
Good advice for Marcus.

1031
01:05:04,300 --> 01:05:06,000
I wish I could have followed it.

1032
01:05:06,100 --> 01:05:07,900
I'm sorry it's such a mess.

1033
01:05:07,900 --> 01:05:10,000
That's where I work.

1034
01:05:11,700 --> 01:05:14,400
My mouth was dry
and my palms sweating.

1035
01:05:14,400 --> 01:05:16,900
I didn't know what the hell was happening to me.

1036
01:05:17,100 --> 01:05:19,800
...manage to tidy up. Ali?

1037
01:05:19,900 --> 01:05:22,800
All I could do was stand there,
grinning like an idiot.

1038
01:05:22,900 --> 01:05:25,800
- Should we just go upstairs?
- Sure. Okay.

1039
01:05:28,500 --> 01:05:29,700
Ali.

1040
01:05:30,000 --> 01:05:31,000
Marcus.

1041
01:05:32,000 --> 01:05:33,000
Marcus.

1042
01:05:33,900 --> 01:05:34,900
Ali.

1043
01:05:36,000 --> 01:05:38,800
You're in my year at school.

1044
01:05:39,100 --> 01:05:41,900
Really? Yeah, I think I've seen you around.

1045
01:05:42,000 --> 01:05:42,800
Great!

1046
01:05:42,900 --> 01:05:45,200
Then you guys'll have a lot to talk about.

1047
01:05:45,300 --> 01:05:47,100
Will, this is Ali.

1048
01:05:47,300 --> 01:05:49,000
Ali, this is Will.

1049
01:05:49,400 --> 01:05:51,800
- All right.
- All right.

1050
01:05:53,400 --> 01:05:56,700
Do you guys want to hang up here for a while?

1051
01:05:57,700 --> 01:05:59,800
- Yeah, sounds good, right?
- Yeah. Okay.

1052
01:05:59,900 --> 01:06:01,800
For a moment, I loved him.

1053
01:06:01,900 --> 01:06:03,300
Really loved him.

1054
01:06:03,400 --> 01:06:05,700
You can show him
your new computer games.

1055
01:06:05,800 --> 01:06:07,700
Good. Okay, catch you later.

1056
01:06:07,700 --> 01:06:09,800
Let's leave them to it.

1057
01:06:19,000 --> 01:06:21,900
If your dad goes out with my mum,
then you're dead.

1058
01:06:22,000 --> 01:06:23,500
Really dead.

1059
01:06:24,000 --> 01:06:27,100
- Don't worry. He's all right.
- I don't care if he's all right!

1060
01:06:27,300 --> 01:06:29,100
I don't want him going out with my mum!

1061
01:06:29,300 --> 01:06:32,900
I don't want to see him
or you around here ever again, okay?

1062
01:06:33,000 --> 01:06:34,900
I'm not really sure it's up to me.

1063
01:06:35,000 --> 01:06:38,100
Well, it better be! Or you're going to die.

1064
01:06:38,100 --> 01:06:42,100
I was getting the feeling
that maybe this kid Ali was a serial killer.

1065
01:06:42,200 --> 01:06:45,200
Can I have a go on your computer?
What games you got?

1066
01:06:45,400 --> 01:06:47,100
Are you listening to me?

1067
01:06:47,600 --> 01:06:50,800
Yeah, it's just that I can't really
do much at the moment, can I?

1068
01:06:50,900 --> 01:06:54,100
I mean, Will, that's my dad...

1069
01:06:55,300 --> 01:06:58,200
...he likes your mum,
and I think she's keen on him.

1070
01:06:58,300 --> 01:06:59,900
She's not keen on him!

1071
01:07:00,000 --> 01:07:01,900
She's only keen on me!

1072
01:07:04,000 --> 01:07:05,800
One amazing thing about Rachel...

1073
01:07:05,900 --> 01:07:09,600
...was that I wanted to kiss her every time
she said something interesting.

1074
01:07:10,100 --> 01:07:11,800
Which was all the time.

1075
01:07:12,100 --> 01:07:15,000
It was sexy. It was weird.

1076
01:07:16,100 --> 01:07:19,600
I use Bristol boards, India ink and...

1077
01:07:20,900 --> 01:07:22,300
Am I boring you?

1078
01:07:22,600 --> 01:07:24,000
No, no. No.

1079
01:07:25,400 --> 01:07:27,400
- Why?
- Nothing.

1080
01:07:27,800 --> 01:07:30,400
It's just you looked like Marcus just then.

1081
01:07:31,500 --> 01:07:32,300
Did I?

1082
01:07:32,400 --> 01:07:35,900
I think it's sweet how much
he seems to take after you...

1083
01:07:36,100 --> 01:07:39,200
...and the way he dresses like you, as well.

1084
01:07:39,800 --> 01:07:43,500
I don't think I dress like Marcus, really.

1085
01:07:47,100 --> 01:07:48,100
Marcus?

1086
01:07:52,000 --> 01:07:55,100
Wait! Hang on. Hang on.
Come on, we're going back.

1087
01:07:55,100 --> 01:07:57,700
- He's off his head.
- No, he's not.

1088
01:07:57,800 --> 01:08:02,000
He said he'd cut me up into little pieces
and hide me under the floorboards.

1089
01:08:02,200 --> 01:08:05,100
- He did?
- No.

1090
01:08:05,200 --> 01:08:07,000
But I'm sure he's capable of it.

1091
01:08:07,100 --> 01:08:09,200
It'll be different. You'll like it, I promise.

1092
01:08:09,200 --> 01:08:12,500
Marcus, Ali has something to say to you.

1093
01:08:14,900 --> 01:08:16,300
Doesn't he?

1094
01:08:17,800 --> 01:08:19,200
Sorry, Marcus.

1095
01:08:20,500 --> 01:08:22,800
I didn't mean to say those things.

1096
01:08:23,400 --> 01:08:24,700
It's okay, Ali.

1097
01:08:26,600 --> 01:08:29,100
Ali finds all this very difficult.

1098
01:08:29,500 --> 01:08:31,600
Yeah, so does Marcus.

1099
01:08:33,600 --> 01:08:35,300
Don't you, mate?

1100
01:08:36,000 --> 01:08:38,000
You know, I mean, divorced parents...

1101
01:08:38,100 --> 01:08:41,300
...and not knowing
how to feel about new people.

1102
01:08:43,300 --> 01:08:46,600
Yes. Absolutely. Absolutely the way I feel.

1103
01:08:46,900 --> 01:08:49,700
Ali didn't get along
with the last bloke I went out with.

1104
01:08:49,800 --> 01:08:52,000
- He was a liar!
- All right, darling.

1105
01:08:52,900 --> 01:08:55,100
He wasn't 100 percent good news.

1106
01:08:55,600 --> 01:08:59,500
- I'm not saying that you and I are.
- That's okay.

1107
01:08:59,700 --> 01:09:02,100
He fancies you. He told me.

1108
01:09:05,500 --> 01:09:07,900
- Thanks a lot, mate.
- Oh, dear.

1109
01:09:08,000 --> 01:09:09,500
Cheers, mate.

1110
01:09:13,000 --> 01:09:15,500
Don't look so worried, sweetheart.

1111
01:09:17,400 --> 01:09:18,300
Ellie!

1112
01:09:18,400 --> 01:09:20,900
- Marcus? What, are you stalking me?
- No.

1113
01:09:20,900 --> 01:09:23,100
Too bad. Made me feel like a celebrity.

1114
01:09:23,200 --> 01:09:26,400
Yeah, but I didn't know that then, did I, sexy?

1115
01:09:28,300 --> 01:09:30,400
All I'm saying is, you know, watch out.

1116
01:09:30,500 --> 01:09:34,600
It just looks a bit more like owner and pet
than boyfriend and girlfriend.

1117
01:09:34,700 --> 01:09:36,500
At least I'm honest.

1118
01:09:36,600 --> 01:09:37,700
What does that mean?

1119
01:09:37,700 --> 01:09:40,100
It's just that you and Rachel...

1120
01:09:41,000 --> 01:09:43,900
What? What does that mean?

1121
01:09:44,300 --> 01:09:47,400
I don't know,
I think there's a problem with you and Rachel.

1122
01:09:47,500 --> 01:09:51,300
I mean, like, you want to be with her
but she thinks you have a son.

1123
01:09:51,600 --> 01:09:52,600
And you don't.

1124
01:09:52,700 --> 01:09:54,700
If you're going to be with someone...

1125
01:09:54,800 --> 01:09:57,400
...shouldn't you tell them things like that?

1126
01:09:58,200 --> 01:09:59,300
No.

1127
01:09:59,600 --> 01:10:02,100
I mean, you know, like the truth.

1128
01:10:03,700 --> 01:10:05,500
What's wrong with you?

1129
01:10:06,200 --> 01:10:09,300
But later that night,
when I was on my own...

1130
01:10:09,600 --> 01:10:12,700
...I remembered the deal
Marcus was prepared to strike.

1131
01:10:14,000 --> 01:10:16,300
Yes, I wanted to touch Rachel.

1132
01:10:16,900 --> 01:10:19,800
But at this moment, if I had the choice...

1133
01:10:20,200 --> 01:10:23,600
...I'd settle for the less and the more
that Marcus wanted.

1134
01:10:24,300 --> 01:10:26,600
Jesus, was I turning into Marcus?

1135
01:10:26,700 --> 01:10:29,200
Would he be buying me shoes soon?

1136
01:10:30,400 --> 01:10:33,700
I took his advice and told Rachel the truth.

1137
01:10:34,800 --> 01:10:36,800
Or very nearly the truth.

1138
01:10:37,000 --> 01:10:39,800
That I wasn't Marcus' natural father.

1139
01:10:41,000 --> 01:10:42,700
And that is not natural seaweed.

1140
01:10:42,900 --> 01:10:46,700
The problem was, once I told the truth,
I knew there'd be more questions.

1141
01:10:46,900 --> 01:10:49,400
I don't get it. If you're not his natural father...

1142
01:10:49,500 --> 01:10:53,700
...and you don't live with him,
then how is he your son?

1143
01:10:54,100 --> 01:10:55,200
Yeah, I see.

1144
01:10:55,500 --> 01:10:58,800
It must look very confusing from the outside.

1145
01:10:58,900 --> 01:11:01,300
Tell me how it is on the inside.

1146
01:11:02,000 --> 01:11:04,700
It's just one of those long, boring stories.

1147
01:11:04,700 --> 01:11:07,200
Look, do you want to move on to wine?

1148
01:11:07,300 --> 01:11:09,300
You want some Chinese rice wine, miss?

1149
01:11:09,300 --> 01:11:14,500
You would like to try,
I suspect, the Panang Paneng.

1150
01:11:15,800 --> 01:11:16,700
Yeah?

1151
01:11:17,300 --> 01:11:18,400
No.

1152
01:11:20,200 --> 01:11:22,500
Tell me about your relationship with Ali.

1153
01:11:22,600 --> 01:11:26,300
- Is that as complicated as mine and Marcus'?
- No.

1154
01:11:26,400 --> 01:11:30,100
I slept with his father,
and then nine months later I gave birth.

1155
01:11:30,200 --> 01:11:31,200
Pretty straight forward.

1156
01:11:31,300 --> 01:11:33,700
Yeah. I envy you that.

1157
01:11:35,000 --> 01:11:39,300
I'm really sorry to harp on about this
but I haven't got it all worked out yet.

1158
01:11:39,400 --> 01:11:43,700
You are Marcus' stepfather,
but you don't live with him or with his mother.

1159
01:11:46,000 --> 01:11:48,800
No, you see, wait.

1160
01:12:00,200 --> 01:12:03,100
I never said he was my son.

1161
01:12:03,400 --> 01:12:04,200
Did I?

1162
01:12:04,300 --> 01:12:07,600
The words "I have a son called Marcus,"
never escaped my lips.

1163
01:12:07,600 --> 01:12:09,900
It's what you chose to believe.

1164
01:12:10,000 --> 01:12:11,800
Yeah. Right.

1165
01:12:12,100 --> 01:12:14,300
It's me that's the fantasist.

1166
01:12:14,500 --> 01:12:18,300
I wanted to believe that you had a son,
so I let my imagination run riot.

1167
01:12:18,400 --> 01:12:20,500
Obviously I played a part, I can see that.

1168
01:12:20,700 --> 01:12:24,400
No! Not at all.
I met you and I thought, "Cute guy.

1169
01:12:24,500 --> 01:12:27,800
"God, if only he had a son.
A geeky, teenage kid, if possible. "

1170
01:12:27,900 --> 01:12:30,800
Then you turned up at my house
with Marcus, and bingo!

1171
01:12:30,800 --> 01:12:35,400
Now I made this crazy link
'cause of some deep psychological need in me.

1172
01:12:36,300 --> 01:12:39,000
You shouldn't beat yourself up about it.

1173
01:12:40,200 --> 01:12:42,400
It could have happened to anyone.

1174
01:12:45,700 --> 01:12:50,900
The first time I met you
I thought you were a bit blank.

1175
01:12:53,400 --> 01:12:55,700
But then you changed my mind.

1176
01:12:57,200 --> 01:12:59,000
Maybe I was right.

1177
01:12:59,500 --> 01:13:01,400
- Rachel, listen.
- Yes?

1178
01:13:12,100 --> 01:13:14,200
I'm sorry, you're right.

1179
01:13:17,900 --> 01:13:22,200
I am a blank.

1180
01:13:23,800 --> 01:13:27,800
I'm really nothing.

1181
01:13:32,200 --> 01:13:35,900
I don't know what the hell I was thinking of,
I'm sorry.

1182
01:13:57,100 --> 01:13:58,100
'Bye, Ellie.

1183
01:13:58,300 --> 01:13:59,900
Marcus! My man!

1184
01:14:01,100 --> 01:14:02,100
Bye, Marcus!

1185
01:14:02,100 --> 01:14:03,800
See you, Marcus!

1186
01:14:23,100 --> 01:14:24,200
Mum?

1187
01:14:49,600 --> 01:14:54,500
So, if z = 17, does x > 2?

1188
01:14:54,900 --> 01:14:56,200
Marcus?

1189
01:14:57,700 --> 01:15:00,000
I didn't know what the answer was.

1190
01:15:00,100 --> 01:15:02,200
I didn't know what "x" equaled.

1191
01:15:02,300 --> 01:15:04,700
And I didn't know how to help my mum.

1192
01:15:14,700 --> 01:15:16,400
And then I realized.

1193
01:15:16,500 --> 01:15:19,300
There was something she said
I could do for her.

1194
01:15:19,400 --> 01:15:24,200
- I'm thinking of singing at the school concert.
- You? At the rock concert?

1195
01:15:24,900 --> 01:15:28,300
I don't think that would be
a very good idea, Marcus.

1196
01:15:28,400 --> 01:15:29,800
Will you accompany me?

1197
01:15:29,900 --> 01:15:31,800
All I've got is a tambourine.

1198
01:15:32,500 --> 01:15:35,800
No, I'm sorry. It's suicide.

1199
01:15:37,400 --> 01:15:39,900
I mean, they'll crucify you.

1200
01:16:04,700 --> 01:16:06,500
Mum's at it again.

1201
01:16:09,800 --> 01:16:12,700
- At what? Sorry.
- What do you mean, what?

1202
01:16:13,800 --> 01:16:15,000
The crying.

1203
01:16:15,100 --> 01:16:17,600
She sits in the house all day, crying.

1204
01:16:17,800 --> 01:16:20,200
She does it in the mornings, too.

1205
01:16:23,200 --> 01:16:27,800
It's as bad now as it was
before the Dead Duck Day.

1206
01:16:33,500 --> 01:16:36,400
Marcus, I'm sorry, mate...

1207
01:16:38,700 --> 01:16:40,600
...I'm a bit busy at the moment.

1208
01:16:40,700 --> 01:16:43,700
You're busy? Doing what?

1209
01:16:46,100 --> 01:16:48,600
- Didn't you hear me?
- I heard you.

1210
01:16:48,800 --> 01:16:52,100
- What do you want me to do about it?
- I don't know.

1211
01:16:52,100 --> 01:16:54,700
- You could talk to her.
- Yeah? And what would I say?

1212
01:16:54,800 --> 01:16:57,000
- I don't know!
- Why would she listen to me?

1213
01:16:57,100 --> 01:16:58,700
Who am I to her?

1214
01:16:59,400 --> 01:17:01,200
- I'm nobody.
- You're not nobody.

1215
01:17:01,300 --> 01:17:03,600
- You're-
- Who? Who do you think I am?

1216
01:17:04,800 --> 01:17:06,200
Who do you think you are?

1217
01:17:06,200 --> 01:17:10,200
You come here uninvited,
you disrupt my life, you screw things up.

1218
01:17:10,800 --> 01:17:13,300
What do you want from me?
This isn't my problem.

1219
01:17:13,400 --> 01:17:16,200
I'm not your family, mate. I'm not.
I'm not your uncle.

1220
01:17:16,300 --> 01:17:17,600
I'm not your big brother.

1221
01:17:17,700 --> 01:17:21,100
We've established pretty firmly
that I'm not your father, either, am I?

1222
01:17:21,200 --> 01:17:22,100
But...

1223
01:17:22,200 --> 01:17:23,500
I'll tell you what I am.

1224
01:17:23,600 --> 01:17:28,000
I'm the guy who's really good at
choosing trainers or records, okay?

1225
01:17:28,100 --> 01:17:30,800
That's it. I can't help you with real things.

1226
01:17:30,900 --> 01:17:34,300
I can't help you with anything
that means anything.

1227
01:17:36,700 --> 01:17:38,400
You could try.

1228
01:17:48,000 --> 01:17:49,200
You're right.

1229
01:17:49,900 --> 01:17:51,400
You can't help me.

1230
01:17:51,600 --> 01:17:52,900
How could you?

1231
01:17:53,000 --> 01:17:55,700
You're a stupid person who watches TV all day...

1232
01:17:55,800 --> 01:17:56,800
...and buys things.

1233
01:17:56,900 --> 01:18:01,400
You don't give a shit about anybody,
and nobody gives a shit about you!

1234
01:18:32,100 --> 01:18:35,200
Mum said my singing brought
sunshine and happiness...

1235
01:18:35,300 --> 01:18:36,700
...into her life.

1236
01:18:37,000 --> 01:18:40,200
So I'd do it, even if it meant mine was over.

1237
01:19:10,100 --> 01:19:11,200
Look, Mum.

1238
01:19:53,900 --> 01:19:59,100
My life is made up of units of time.
Buying CDs: Two units.

1239
01:20:00,800 --> 01:20:03,500
Eating lunch: Three units.

1240
01:20:05,600 --> 01:20:08,900
Exercising: Two units.

1241
01:20:11,300 --> 01:20:14,000
All in all, I had a very full life.

1242
01:20:23,800 --> 01:20:28,000
It's just that it didn't mean anything.

1243
01:20:41,000 --> 01:20:46,700
"Look who's coming
round the bend"

1244
01:20:55,000 --> 01:20:59,100
The fact was there was only one thing
that meant something to me:

1245
01:21:11,100 --> 01:21:14,900
Marcus. He was the only thing
that meant something to me.

1246
01:21:15,400 --> 01:21:18,400
And Fiona was the only thing
that meant something to him.

1247
01:21:18,500 --> 01:21:20,900
And she was about to fall off the edge.

1248
01:21:39,700 --> 01:21:43,900
Single parents alone together!

1249
01:21:44,000 --> 01:21:48,400
Single parents alone together!
All for one and one for all!

1250
01:21:50,700 --> 01:21:53,900
- Fiona!
- Will, we haven't seen you for a while.

1251
01:21:54,000 --> 01:21:55,400
How's Ned?

1252
01:21:55,900 --> 01:22:00,300
Who? He's a load of crap. He doesn't exist.

1253
01:22:01,500 --> 01:22:02,900
Yeah, I made him up.

1254
01:22:03,000 --> 01:22:04,500
- You made him up?
- Yeah.

1255
01:22:04,500 --> 01:22:07,100
- To meet women.
- You're sick.

1256
01:22:08,000 --> 01:22:10,300
- Fiona, I've got to talk to you.
- Go ahead.

1257
01:22:10,400 --> 01:22:13,300
No, you know, properly talk to you, privately.

1258
01:22:13,300 --> 01:22:16,400
No, this is a circle of truth.

1259
01:22:16,500 --> 01:22:20,100
Whatever you have to say,
you can say it in front of everybody.

1260
01:22:21,100 --> 01:22:25,400
Okay. Please don't try
and commit suicide again.

1261
01:22:28,100 --> 01:22:31,400
I can't believe you just said that.
That is my private experience.

1262
01:22:31,500 --> 01:22:34,200
Yeah, well, that's the thing, isn't it? It's not.

1263
01:22:34,300 --> 01:22:35,900
Marcus is worried about you.

1264
01:22:35,900 --> 01:22:38,000
I'm worried because he's worried about you.

1265
01:22:38,100 --> 01:22:41,200
Will, I don't have plans to commit suicide.

1266
01:22:41,300 --> 01:22:42,300
You don't?

1267
01:22:42,400 --> 01:22:44,100
Not at the moment, no.

1268
01:22:44,900 --> 01:22:47,200
Great. Great!

1269
01:22:47,300 --> 01:22:49,500
Good.

1270
01:22:49,500 --> 01:22:52,400
You know I'm not attracted to you, right?

1271
01:22:54,100 --> 01:22:57,500
What are you on about?
No. What are you, nuts?

1272
01:22:58,300 --> 01:23:00,500
Right. Wrong word completely.

1273
01:23:00,700 --> 01:23:05,700
But that's something that
we should, you know, talk about a bit.

1274
01:23:05,800 --> 01:23:08,100
The crying in the morning thing, the depression.

1275
01:23:08,300 --> 01:23:10,600
Let's get that fixed.

1276
01:23:10,600 --> 01:23:13,700
That's what men think, isn't it?
What?

1277
01:23:14,300 --> 01:23:17,400
That unless you've got the answer,
unless you can say:

1278
01:23:17,400 --> 01:23:21,600
"I know a bloke in the Essex Road who
can fix that," then there's no point bothering.

1279
01:23:21,700 --> 01:23:22,700
No.

1280
01:23:24,100 --> 01:23:25,900
Well, yeah, okay. I would.

1281
01:23:26,000 --> 01:23:29,100
I'd love to know the name of the bloke
in the Essex Road...

1282
01:23:29,200 --> 01:23:31,400
...because I've got a feeling I'd be useless.

1283
01:23:31,600 --> 01:23:33,500
Will, you're not useless.

1284
01:23:34,800 --> 01:23:38,300
You're here. And that matters.

1285
01:23:39,200 --> 01:23:40,500
Right.

1286
01:23:40,500 --> 01:23:42,900
- Now, can we... Do you mind?
- What?

1287
01:23:43,200 --> 01:23:46,700
- Marcus is singing at the school concert.
- Marcus is singing?

1288
01:23:46,900 --> 01:23:48,300
- Yeah, singing.
- At school?

1289
01:23:48,300 --> 01:23:50,000
It's a pop concert. He's so excited.

1290
01:23:50,100 --> 01:23:53,300
- I want to get there on time.
- Wait, wait. What's he singing?

1291
01:23:53,400 --> 01:23:57,800
"Killing me softly with his song

1292
01:23:58,100 --> 01:24:00,600
"Telling my whole life"

1293
01:24:02,800 --> 01:24:06,600
- What time does this thing start?
- What have you got against Marcus singing?

1294
01:24:06,700 --> 01:24:11,200
You know the dream where you're at school
without your trousers on and everyone laughs?

1295
01:24:11,300 --> 01:24:14,500
- What's the connection?
- That will be Marcus, but for real.

1296
01:24:14,500 --> 01:24:17,200
If he sings that song in front of those kids...

1297
01:24:17,400 --> 01:24:19,600
...you can just write him off until university.

1298
01:24:19,700 --> 01:24:22,900
If he reaches university,
'cause he's going to get torn to shreds.

1299
01:24:23,000 --> 01:24:25,600
You cannot stop someone
from expressing themselves.

1300
01:24:25,700 --> 01:24:29,600
He's not expressing himself!
He's expressing you, okay?

1301
01:24:31,100 --> 01:24:32,100
Oh, God.

1302
01:24:33,300 --> 01:24:36,800
What? Jesus Christ.

1303
01:24:37,100 --> 01:24:40,800
You're right. Will, am I a bad mother?

1304
01:24:41,200 --> 01:24:45,700
No, you're not a bad mother.
You're just a barking lunatic.

1305
01:24:45,900 --> 01:24:47,600
No, I am. I am a bad mother.

1306
01:24:47,700 --> 01:24:51,100
I've let things slide
and I haven't been noticing properly.

1307
01:24:51,200 --> 01:24:53,700
He's a special, very special boy.

1308
01:24:53,700 --> 01:24:56,200
And he's got a special soul, and I've wounded it!

1309
01:24:56,300 --> 01:24:59,200
Please, just shut up. You're wounding my soul.

1310
01:25:27,400 --> 01:25:29,700
Okay, you park it.
What?

1311
01:26:17,700 --> 01:26:18,800
Hi.

1312
01:26:20,100 --> 01:26:21,500
What are you doing here?

1313
01:26:21,500 --> 01:26:23,400
That's Ali up there.

1314
01:26:29,300 --> 01:26:33,100
He's talented.

1315
01:26:57,800 --> 01:27:03,000
Now that was the Def Penalty Kru
with Murder Fo' Life.

1316
01:27:03,700 --> 01:27:06,700
Our next big act is Marcus Brewer...

1317
01:27:06,800 --> 01:27:10,200
...singing Roberta Flack's beloved
Killing Me Softly.

1318
01:27:12,800 --> 01:27:16,400
He'll be accompanied by Simon Cosgrove
on the recorder.

1319
01:27:18,800 --> 01:27:20,300
Marcus, I can't do this.

1320
01:27:20,400 --> 01:27:23,200
- That lot's going to shit all over us.
- But you said...

1321
01:27:23,300 --> 01:27:26,900
I'm sorry. Here's your 5 back.

1322
01:27:29,300 --> 01:27:30,900
Any moment now.

1323
01:27:45,100 --> 01:27:47,700
Come on, Marcus, you wally!

1324
01:27:52,000 --> 01:27:53,000
Wait! Wait!

1325
01:27:53,100 --> 01:27:55,600
Excuse me. What is going on here?

1326
01:27:55,700 --> 01:27:59,300
Nothing. Everything's under control.
I'm just his voice coach.

1327
01:27:59,600 --> 01:28:01,100
What are you doing here?

1328
01:28:01,100 --> 01:28:05,600
I heard you were about to commit social suicide,
so I dropped by.

1329
01:28:05,700 --> 01:28:07,400
- My accompanist left!
- Brilliant.

1330
01:28:07,500 --> 01:28:09,400
- You don't have to do it.
- I can't do that.

1331
01:28:09,400 --> 01:28:12,300
Yeah, you can.
Just tell them: Artistic differences.

1332
01:28:12,400 --> 01:28:15,000
You can't work without him.
He had a drug problem.

1333
01:28:15,100 --> 01:28:17,400
My mum wants me to sing it.
It'll make her happy.

1334
01:28:17,400 --> 01:28:22,600
Look, mate, nothing you do
can make your mum happy, all right?

1335
01:28:23,100 --> 01:28:26,800
Not in the long term.
She has to do that for herself.

1336
01:28:26,900 --> 01:28:30,500
- Get over here right now!
- Just bugger off, will you!

1337
01:28:30,700 --> 01:28:34,200
What I'm saying is, the important thing is
to make yourself feel happy.

1338
01:28:34,300 --> 01:28:38,200
I've tried just making myself happy.
She's tried making herself happy.

1339
01:28:38,300 --> 01:28:41,000
It doesn't work.
You need other people to make you happy.

1340
01:28:41,100 --> 01:28:42,400
But that's just it.

1341
01:28:42,500 --> 01:28:46,600
If other people can make you happy
then they can also make you unhappy.

1342
01:28:46,700 --> 01:28:50,400
What, you think those people out there
are going to make you happy?

1343
01:28:50,400 --> 01:28:52,300
Hang on. Wait. Marcus, don't.

1344
01:28:52,400 --> 01:28:54,700
Marcus! Bollocks.

1345
01:29:12,300 --> 01:29:14,000
Come on, Britney!

1346
01:29:14,100 --> 01:29:16,300
Yeah, give us a song, then.

1347
01:29:23,500 --> 01:29:25,200
This is for my mum.

1348
01:29:31,100 --> 01:29:35,400
"I heard he sang a good song

1349
01:29:36,500 --> 01:29:40,100
"I heard he had a style

1350
01:29:41,500 --> 01:29:45,400
"And so I came to see him

1351
01:29:45,500 --> 01:29:49,200
"to listen for a while

1352
01:29:51,000 --> 01:29:55,000
"And there he was this young boy

1353
01:29:55,800 --> 01:29:59,500
"a stranger to my eyes"

1354
01:29:59,600 --> 01:30:01,500
You're rubbish, mate!

1355
01:30:07,100 --> 01:30:11,900
"Strumming my pain with his fingers

1356
01:30:14,800 --> 01:30:19,000
"Singing my life with his words

1357
01:30:32,600 --> 01:30:36,300
"Killing me softly with his song

1358
01:30:36,400 --> 01:30:38,100
"Killing me softly"

1359
01:30:38,300 --> 01:30:40,700
Who the hell is that?

1360
01:30:41,300 --> 01:30:45,800
"Telling my whole life with his words

1361
01:30:45,900 --> 01:30:52,100
"Killing me softly with his song

1362
01:30:56,400 --> 01:30:59,800
"I felt all flushed with fever

1363
01:30:59,900 --> 01:31:03,600
"embarrassed by the crowd

1364
01:31:03,700 --> 01:31:09,200
"I felt he found my letters
and read each one out loud

1365
01:31:11,100 --> 01:31:14,700
"I prayed that he would finish

1366
01:31:15,200 --> 01:31:18,100
"but he just kept right on

1367
01:31:18,200 --> 01:31:22,000
"Strumming my pain with his fingers

1368
01:31:22,100 --> 01:31:25,100
"Singing my life with his words

1369
01:31:25,800 --> 01:31:26,800
"Killing me softly"

1370
01:31:26,900 --> 01:31:28,400
Give it a rest.

1371
01:31:28,700 --> 01:31:32,400
"Killing me softly with his song

1372
01:31:32,500 --> 01:31:38,000
"Telling my whole life with his words
Killing me softly

1373
01:31:40,000 --> 01:31:42,800
"With his song

1374
01:31:49,500 --> 01:31:51,700
"He sang as if he knew me"

1375
01:31:51,800 --> 01:31:52,700
Will.

1376
01:31:52,800 --> 01:31:55,300
"In all my dark despair"

1377
01:31:55,400 --> 01:31:56,400
We're finished.

1378
01:31:56,500 --> 01:32:01,300
"And then he looked right through me
as if I wasn't there"

1379
01:32:01,400 --> 01:32:02,800
Will, come on.

1380
01:32:08,500 --> 01:32:10,000
Will, we're finished.

1381
01:32:18,700 --> 01:32:22,000
So there I was,
killing them softly with my song.

1382
01:32:22,200 --> 01:32:25,400
Or rather, being killed.
And not that softly, either.

1383
01:32:25,700 --> 01:32:28,300
I was singing with my eyes closed.

1384
01:32:28,700 --> 01:32:30,100
Was I frightened?

1385
01:32:30,200 --> 01:32:31,800
I was petrified.

1386
01:32:32,300 --> 01:32:34,200
This was definitely not island living.

1387
01:32:34,400 --> 01:32:38,100
"Killing me softly

1388
01:32:38,600 --> 01:32:41,900
"With his song"

1389
01:32:51,400 --> 01:32:53,300
Thank you, Finsbury.

1390
01:32:54,800 --> 01:32:57,500
I'd like to introduce
one or two members of the band.

1391
01:32:57,600 --> 01:33:00,400
Marcus Brewer on vocals and tambourine.

1392
01:33:02,900 --> 01:33:04,700
And that's about it.

1393
01:33:04,700 --> 01:33:07,100
Let's get off quick. Get off.

1394
01:33:07,800 --> 01:33:11,600
Marcus, thank you. For the song.

1395
01:33:12,100 --> 01:33:13,200
You were terrific.

1396
01:33:13,200 --> 01:33:14,700
- You think so?
- Yeah.

1397
01:33:16,200 --> 01:33:18,700
As a matter of fact, I think we should celebrate.

1398
01:33:18,800 --> 01:33:20,000
Okay.

1399
01:33:20,500 --> 01:33:24,200
How about McDonald's?

1400
01:33:24,500 --> 01:33:26,500
- McDonald's?
- Yeah.

1401
01:33:26,600 --> 01:33:28,100
Thanks, Mum, but it's okay.

1402
01:33:28,200 --> 01:33:30,800
No, really. I want to go to McDonald's.

1403
01:33:30,800 --> 01:33:32,600
You know, I'm not really hungry.

1404
01:33:32,600 --> 01:33:36,600
Come on. Are you telling me
you couldn't murder a Big Mac?

1405
01:33:36,600 --> 01:33:37,800
Mum!

1406
01:33:39,500 --> 01:33:41,400
Okay, another time.

1407
01:33:44,300 --> 01:33:45,300
Any time.

1408
01:33:47,900 --> 01:33:50,700
I'll be around a while, you know.

1409
01:33:59,200 --> 01:34:03,300
By the following Christmas
things were back to normal.

1410
01:34:04,500 --> 01:34:05,800
Before you came-

1411
01:34:06,000 --> 01:34:09,400
Every man is an island.
And I stand by that.

1412
01:34:11,200 --> 01:34:15,700
But clearly, some men are part of island chains.

1413
01:34:16,900 --> 01:34:20,200
Below the surface of the ocean
they're actually connected.

1414
01:34:20,300 --> 01:34:23,000
So you're going to marry my mum, then?

1415
01:34:23,400 --> 01:34:24,500
Don't know.

1416
01:34:24,600 --> 01:34:25,700
Why?

1417
01:34:26,200 --> 01:34:27,600
You think she's up for it?

1418
01:34:27,700 --> 01:34:30,200
- I used to want him to marry my mum.
- You serious?

1419
01:34:30,400 --> 01:34:33,700
Yeah. But that was when she was depressed
and I was desperate.

1420
01:34:33,800 --> 01:34:35,700
Thanks, mate. Cheers.

1421
01:34:36,000 --> 01:34:39,400
How do you use this blender-thing?
You don't.

1422
01:34:39,700 --> 01:34:42,300
I used to think two wasn't enough.
Christ.

1423
01:34:42,400 --> 01:34:44,300
Now there were loads of people.

1424
01:34:44,400 --> 01:34:46,700
And that was great. Mostly.

1425
01:34:48,500 --> 01:34:52,200
Are you two lazy bastards
gonna get up and help, or what?

1426
01:34:53,600 --> 01:34:56,500
So how do you know Will?

1427
01:34:56,600 --> 01:35:00,500
We volunteered together
at Amnesty International a couple years ago.

1428
01:35:00,600 --> 01:35:04,000
Yeah, that's right.
How is the Burmese situation, Tom? Better?

1429
01:35:04,100 --> 01:35:05,500
I mean good?

1430
01:35:06,100 --> 01:35:09,200
Yeah, and he called me up
out of the blue for Christmas lunch.

1431
01:35:09,300 --> 01:35:10,900
So, here I am.

1432
01:35:10,900 --> 01:35:12,300
Really?

1433
01:35:20,300 --> 01:35:22,900
So, listen, what's the deal
with you and Ellie now?

1434
01:35:23,000 --> 01:35:26,400
Is she your girlfriend?

1435
01:35:26,600 --> 01:35:28,300
Are you insane?

1436
01:35:30,500 --> 01:35:32,800
Where did you get those trainers?

1437
01:35:32,900 --> 01:35:35,700
- Why? What's wrong with them?
- Nothing.

1438
01:35:35,800 --> 01:35:37,000
What?

1439
01:35:37,700 --> 01:35:40,500
By the way,
I do think you and Rachel have a shot.

1440
01:35:40,600 --> 01:35:43,700
- I mean, if you don't screw it up.
- Thank you.

1441
01:35:46,400 --> 01:35:48,300
I'd created a monster.

1442
01:35:48,600 --> 01:35:50,600
Or maybe he created me.

1443
01:35:53,400 --> 01:35:56,300
I don't know
what Will was so upset about.

1444
01:35:57,000 --> 01:36:00,700
All I meant was
I don't think couples are the future.

1445
01:36:01,000 --> 01:36:03,900
You need more than that. You need backup.

1446
01:36:04,500 --> 01:36:07,700
The way I saw it,
Will and I both had backup now.

1447
01:36:10,000 --> 01:36:13,300
It's like that thing he told me Jon Bon Jovi said:

1448
01:36:13,400 --> 01:36:15,300
"No man is an island."

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