1
00:00:25,527 --> 00:00:29,202
<i>After the rehearsals,
I like to stay a while at the stage</i>
2
00:00:30,287 --> 00:00:33,996
<i>to quietly think through
the day's work.</i>
3
00:00:36,127 --> 00:00:38,357
<i>It is during the hours between
afternoon and evening,</i>
4
00:00:39,327 --> 00:00:43,036
<i>when the large theatre
is quiet and abandoned.</i>
5
00:00:45,367 --> 00:00:47,597
<i>I have probably slept for a while,
I'm not sure.</i>
6
00:00:50,007 --> 00:00:52,521
<i>When I look around,
I don't recognize myself.</i>
7
00:00:54,927 --> 00:00:56,758
<i>Something has changed</i>
8
00:00:57,687 --> 00:00:59,803
<i>in a secretive and intangible way.</i>
9
00:01:35,887 --> 00:01:36,558
Hi.
10
00:01:42,367 --> 00:01:43,402
What are you looking for?
11
00:01:44,047 --> 00:01:47,244
A bracelet.
I'm the kind who loses things.
12
00:01:47,407 --> 00:01:49,398
<i>Distance and boredom.</i>
13
00:01:51,047 --> 00:01:52,924
<i>Distance and anxiousness...</i>
14
00:01:55,007 --> 00:01:58,841
<i>Distance and a sharp taste
of iron on the tongue.</i>
15
00:02:00,767 --> 00:02:02,280
<i>I want her to leave.</i>
16
00:02:03,927 --> 00:02:07,920
<i>Her search for the bracelet
is so obviously an excuse.</i>
17
00:02:09,367 --> 00:02:10,846
<i>I want you to leave.</i>
18
00:02:12,087 --> 00:02:13,679
<i>I want you to go now.</i>
19
00:02:14,247 --> 00:02:16,238
- I am free this evening.
- It's really none of my business.
20
00:02:16,407 --> 00:02:17,840
It was nothing special.
21
00:02:22,367 --> 00:02:23,959
I'm happy to rehearse all day.
22
00:02:24,127 --> 00:02:26,595
- You don't need to excuse yourself.
- I'm not excusing myself.
23
00:02:28,487 --> 00:02:30,876
How old are you really,
Anna Egerman?
24
00:02:34,727 --> 00:02:35,364
Guess!
25
00:02:35,967 --> 00:02:38,083
You're the same age as
my youngest daughter.
26
00:02:38,407 --> 00:02:39,760
Your father and I made a film
27
00:02:39,927 --> 00:02:42,487
and were both blessed with a
daughter in the space of a week.
28
00:02:42,647 --> 00:02:44,558
You are 23 years and 3 months old,
aren't you?
29
00:02:45,207 --> 00:02:46,526
Dad and you had fun
back in those days.
30
00:02:46,847 --> 00:02:48,758
I sense a tone of accusement
in your voice.
31
00:02:48,927 --> 00:02:51,316
Dad was always away,
and mom was always sad.
32
00:02:51,847 --> 00:02:53,565
Wasn't she an unusually talented actress?
33
00:02:54,287 --> 00:02:56,164
Yes, dear Anna,
34
00:02:56,767 --> 00:02:58,723
your mother was one of the most
beautiful women I'd seen,
35
00:02:59,007 --> 00:03:03,159
charming, highly talented and passionate.
36
00:03:03,567 --> 00:03:05,478
Then she married Mikael
and left the theatre.
37
00:03:05,647 --> 00:03:08,320
- You were also in love with my mother.
- Of course, we all were.
38
00:03:08,567 --> 00:03:10,046
Did you have a relationship?
39
00:03:10,807 --> 00:03:11,398
Why not?
40
00:03:11,687 --> 00:03:13,439
Your mother resisted.
41
00:03:13,887 --> 00:03:15,036
Mikael was braver,
42
00:03:15,287 --> 00:03:18,563
or more foolhardy!
And look what happened!
43
00:03:20,527 --> 00:03:22,563
Mom gave birth to a bunch
of kids she didn't want
44
00:03:22,847 --> 00:03:24,644
and died of intoxication.
45
00:03:27,327 --> 00:03:30,524
One time I asked her why
she left the theatre.
46
00:03:32,487 --> 00:03:35,638
She said that she loved dad and
47
00:03:35,807 --> 00:03:38,196
didn't want to embezzle her life.
48
00:03:38,367 --> 00:03:40,642
Mom was incredibly dishonest.
49
00:03:41,167 --> 00:03:42,919
It is odd to hear you
speak of your mother.
50
00:03:43,287 --> 00:03:44,117
Am I too harsh?
51
00:03:45,407 --> 00:03:46,396
I think you speak without understanding!
52
00:03:46,887 --> 00:03:49,560
How can I fake a understanding
that I don't have?
53
00:03:50,287 --> 00:03:53,245
It took me many years before
I dared to fully hate her.
54
00:03:54,207 --> 00:03:57,517
Instead, I wandered about with dread
that made me feeble-minded.
55
00:03:57,807 --> 00:04:00,241
Now I hate her and
feel much better.
56
00:04:00,807 --> 00:04:03,879
As far as she's concerned,
the matter should be settled!
57
00:04:04,407 --> 00:04:05,760
That's the big question.
58
00:04:06,567 --> 00:04:10,242
I read an interview
59
00:04:10,407 --> 00:04:12,045
where you explained
that this was our only life
60
00:04:12,447 --> 00:04:15,678
and that "before"
and especially "after"
61
00:04:16,167 --> 00:04:17,964
didn't exist.
62
00:04:18,847 --> 00:04:22,044
You said this knowledge
gave you the largest comfort.
63
00:04:22,207 --> 00:04:24,437
You certainly have a sense of irony!
64
00:04:24,687 --> 00:04:26,200
It is just confusion!
65
00:04:26,767 --> 00:04:28,997
I'll tell you one thing, Anna Egerman.
66
00:04:30,567 --> 00:04:33,127
At my age,
sometimes you lean forward
67
00:04:33,287 --> 00:04:36,882
and suddenly your head
is in another reality.
68
00:04:38,207 --> 00:04:39,765
The dead are not dead.
69
00:04:40,647 --> 00:04:42,877
The living appear
as ghosts.
70
00:04:45,047 --> 00:04:47,322
What was obvious
a minute ago
71
00:04:48,807 --> 00:04:51,526
is peculiar and
difficult to comprehend.
72
00:04:59,287 --> 00:05:02,404
Listen to the silence
in this stage room.
73
00:05:10,287 --> 00:05:12,437
Imagine all the spiritual energy,
74
00:05:14,407 --> 00:05:17,399
all the emotions, real and acted,
75
00:05:18,687 --> 00:05:22,236
laughter, rage, passion,
and I don't know what.
76
00:05:24,967 --> 00:05:27,003
It's all still here...
77
00:05:28,607 --> 00:05:29,960
enclosed...
78
00:05:31,927 --> 00:05:34,760
Lives its secret and
uninterrupted life.
79
00:05:38,127 --> 00:05:41,722
Sometimes I hear them.
Often I hear them.
80
00:05:43,487 --> 00:05:45,364
Sometimes I think I see them.
81
00:05:46,647 --> 00:05:51,118
Demons. Angels. Ghosts.
82
00:05:53,167 --> 00:05:54,361
Ordinary people,
83
00:05:56,367 --> 00:05:59,564
fully occupied with
their own business.
84
00:06:01,047 --> 00:06:02,480
Turned away.
85
00:06:04,647 --> 00:06:06,319
Secretive.
86
00:06:10,287 --> 00:06:12,039
Sometimes we speak
87
00:06:13,767 --> 00:06:15,405
randomly of our meetings...
88
00:06:15,807 --> 00:06:17,365
Now you have that wonderful ironic smile!
89
00:06:17,527 --> 00:06:18,755
Not at all!
90
00:06:18,927 --> 00:06:21,361
I understand what you mean
with the stage room's silence.
91
00:06:22,407 --> 00:06:22,964
But do you really think...
92
00:06:23,247 --> 00:06:24,965
Isn't it indifferent?
If it is in a dream
93
00:06:25,607 --> 00:06:29,566
that I create entire shows,
actors and lines,
94
00:06:30,967 --> 00:06:32,958
or if they actually live
their own life?
95
00:06:33,647 --> 00:06:36,320
Outside and beyond my senses?
Isn't that indifferent?
96
00:06:36,647 --> 00:06:39,036
Still you you believe my mother
suffers from my hate...
97
00:06:39,487 --> 00:06:40,556
even though she's been dead for five years?
98
00:06:41,127 --> 00:06:43,687
It frightens me when you speak of your hate.
I believe that it hits her.
99
00:06:44,247 --> 00:06:45,726
If it is so, it delights me.
100
00:06:50,247 --> 00:06:50,804
You were about to say something...
101
00:06:51,087 --> 00:06:53,806
You play the game.
It is your game.
102
00:07:18,447 --> 00:07:20,756
Why did you want me
to play Indra's daughter?
103
00:07:20,927 --> 00:07:21,916
Because you are quite talented.
104
00:07:23,407 --> 00:07:27,286
I saw you at a student play.
You played Agnes in "Brand".
105
00:07:27,727 --> 00:07:29,524
- It was terrible.
- Yes, it was!
106
00:07:29,887 --> 00:07:32,276
You can only be that bad
if you are talented!
107
00:07:33,607 --> 00:07:35,245
Then I saw you in a film.
108
00:07:36,047 --> 00:07:38,800
The part wasn't anything special
and the film was bad.
109
00:07:39,887 --> 00:07:43,323
I had just received an offer
to stage a play at my old theatre.
110
00:07:44,647 --> 00:07:46,365
When I saw that film, I thought:
111
00:07:48,127 --> 00:07:49,685
it will be "A Dream Play"
112
00:07:50,607 --> 00:07:52,802
with Anna Egerman as
Indra's daughter.
113
00:07:53,527 --> 00:07:55,916
For me it was the fifth time
I staged this play.
114
00:07:56,407 --> 00:07:58,637
It might be a sixth and a seventh, too.
115
00:08:00,087 --> 00:08:01,315
When I was 12 years old,
116
00:08:01,487 --> 00:08:02,920
I got to come with
a musician
117
00:08:03,087 --> 00:08:04,884
who played the organ
behind the stage.
118
00:08:06,167 --> 00:08:09,239
Night after night, I sat there,
in the lighting tower,
119
00:08:11,167 --> 00:08:14,364
and witnessed the marriage between
the daughter and the lawyer.
120
00:08:16,527 --> 00:08:19,121
It was the first time I experienced
the magic of the actor.
121
00:08:21,447 --> 00:08:25,440
The lawyer had a hairpin between
his thumb and his index finger.
122
00:08:27,007 --> 00:08:28,440
Look at this!
123
00:08:30,207 --> 00:08:32,562
It is two branches,
but only one pin.
124
00:08:33,847 --> 00:08:37,203
It is two, but it is one.
125
00:08:38,967 --> 00:08:41,276
Now I straighten it...
126
00:08:42,607 --> 00:08:44,484
and it is one piece.
127
00:08:46,727 --> 00:08:48,957
If I bend it, it is two,
128
00:08:50,327 --> 00:08:52,045
without ceasing to be one.
129
00:08:53,287 --> 00:08:57,360
That means: In two is one.
130
00:08:57,847 --> 00:09:02,125
But I break it...
131
00:09:03,327 --> 00:09:04,919
Now in two is two!
132
00:09:10,047 --> 00:09:12,481
There was no needle,
but I saw it!
133
00:09:13,647 --> 00:09:15,046
That's how it all began.
134
00:09:17,127 --> 00:09:18,276
There I sat,
135
00:09:20,007 --> 00:09:23,283
crawled in behind two searchlights.
136
00:09:23,927 --> 00:09:25,679
I am too young for the part.
137
00:09:26,887 --> 00:09:29,003
Whoever plays Indra's daughter
is too young or too old.
138
00:09:29,247 --> 00:09:31,556
Earlier, you have always
scratched out and worked up.
139
00:09:31,887 --> 00:09:33,400
Of course! It is easier that way.
140
00:09:33,767 --> 00:09:35,598
I don't understand this,
get rid of this crap!
141
00:09:36,207 --> 00:09:39,040
This sounds ridiculous,
I'll re-write it!
142
00:09:39,367 --> 00:09:41,801
This scene is badly placed,
I'll move it!
143
00:09:42,247 --> 00:09:44,522
I knead the script according to a
fixed purpose! In the end,
144
00:09:44,687 --> 00:09:47,440
I'll have a giant cross arise,
or a hundred extras fill the stage,
145
00:09:47,607 --> 00:09:51,122
awfully dressed and with their
left fists raised in the air!
146
00:09:51,287 --> 00:09:53,164
I rape Strindberg!
147
00:09:53,527 --> 00:09:55,916
It is perfectly fine.
It is in highest fashion.
148
00:09:56,487 --> 00:09:58,364
Ethics give me right,
I have dusted off the old fossil.
149
00:09:58,527 --> 00:10:02,315
<i>Why am I saying this?
It is just nonsense. Empty rhetorics.</i>
150
00:10:04,487 --> 00:10:07,399
<i>Why do I suddenly put on
this ridiculous act?</i>
151
00:10:08,247 --> 00:10:10,442
<i>This parody on a conviction</i>
152
00:10:10,607 --> 00:10:13,201
<i>that has turned sour
and disintegrated?</i>
153
00:10:15,207 --> 00:10:18,199
<i>Why do I have to justify myself
for that young person</i>
154
00:10:18,407 --> 00:10:20,284
<i>who doesn't even care what I say?</i>
155
00:10:20,447 --> 00:10:23,007
You want me to convince you that
you're appropriate for the part.
156
00:10:23,447 --> 00:10:27,076
That is my job!
The sweet secret of our relationship!
157
00:10:28,327 --> 00:10:31,444
You assume that I believe in you and
you demand constant acknowledgement!
158
00:10:32,247 --> 00:10:34,522
If I am convincing
enough on the verbal,
159
00:10:34,687 --> 00:10:36,757
the emotional and the
intellectual level...
160
00:10:36,927 --> 00:10:40,840
You finally believe in me and you
let your self-esteem blossom.
161
00:10:41,447 --> 00:10:44,644
I, on the other hand, am
stimulated by your confidence.
162
00:10:45,287 --> 00:10:46,606
The blood pulsates.
163
00:10:47,087 --> 00:10:49,203
Small coronary arteries
entwine at the far end of the
164
00:10:49,367 --> 00:10:53,918
acting group's dullest outskirts.
165
00:10:54,487 --> 00:10:57,001
Colours the medoicrity's cheeks,
166
00:10:57,167 --> 00:10:59,044
and makes their eyes glow.
167
00:10:59,247 --> 00:11:02,637
That's how it is, Anna Egerman.
That's how it has to be!
168
00:11:03,847 --> 00:11:08,557
When I saw you as a wild little
goblin in your father's knee,
169
00:11:09,127 --> 00:11:11,083
I might have thought:
she will become an actress.
170
00:11:11,247 --> 00:11:13,238
When I saw you in that stupid film,
171
00:11:15,247 --> 00:11:18,319
your way with yourself, your speech,
172
00:11:19,647 --> 00:11:21,365
when I saw your eyes,
173
00:11:22,167 --> 00:11:24,522
your impatience and your vulnerability,
174
00:11:25,807 --> 00:11:27,206
it made me happy,
175
00:11:28,487 --> 00:11:32,765
I felt that together with you, I can
make the ever so heavy wheel spin again.
176
00:11:34,247 --> 00:11:37,637
If it is so, I don't understand
why you are so critical.
177
00:11:37,807 --> 00:11:40,605
You change everything I do,
and you criticize everything!
178
00:11:40,767 --> 00:11:42,678
Sometimes I cry out of
despair when I come home.
179
00:11:43,007 --> 00:11:44,998
I don't believe that you have belief in me.
180
00:11:47,167 --> 00:11:50,125
Really? You don't believe
that I have belief in you?
181
00:11:51,087 --> 00:11:54,523
That was the only silly thing I've heard you
say during our five weeks of rehearsals!
182
00:11:54,687 --> 00:11:58,441
You say that you cry, but if you let
me guess, I think you cry out of joy!
183
00:11:59,807 --> 00:12:02,321
You know that something
happens inside you,
184
00:12:02,487 --> 00:12:04,079
a regrouping
185
00:12:04,247 --> 00:12:06,158
and a structuration of
your potential.
186
00:12:06,487 --> 00:12:09,718
It happens in a practical way
that might hurt...
187
00:12:09,887 --> 00:12:12,037
but makes you content and
happy all the same.
188
00:12:13,367 --> 00:12:15,642
When we talk outside of work,
189
00:12:15,807 --> 00:12:19,004
you are a much worse actress
than when we're working.
190
00:12:19,287 --> 00:12:21,642
Get rid of the private actress!
191
00:12:22,047 --> 00:12:24,845
She only steals power
from the real actress,
192
00:12:25,087 --> 00:12:28,238
and gets in the way of several impulses
that might benefit you on stage.
193
00:12:28,407 --> 00:12:29,157
What a lecture!
194
00:12:29,327 --> 00:12:32,637
Yes! Now I'll go to my hotel
room and sleep,
195
00:12:32,807 --> 00:12:36,117
so that I can bear being with you
all evening! Goodbye!
196
00:12:36,287 --> 00:12:37,356
Goodbye.
197
00:12:37,887 --> 00:12:39,445
Sleep well!
198
00:12:40,767 --> 00:12:42,519
So you think that I'm
acting in private?
199
00:12:42,807 --> 00:12:45,799
Yes, as a matter of fact I do.
200
00:12:46,447 --> 00:12:49,564
People are thankful if you show the
face they are expecting to see.
201
00:12:49,727 --> 00:12:52,958
Someone wants you to be happy for a
gift and you show happiness.
202
00:12:53,127 --> 00:12:56,517
Someone wants you to show love
and you receive love in return.
203
00:12:56,687 --> 00:13:00,282
You're supposed to show compassion,
be sexy, or funny, or sad...
204
00:13:00,447 --> 00:13:01,721
Are you always real?
205
00:13:01,887 --> 00:13:04,640
Me?
I live an isolated life.
206
00:13:04,887 --> 00:13:05,763
And during rehearsals?
207
00:13:06,007 --> 00:13:08,805
My feelings don't matter, only
yours and the other actors.
208
00:13:09,167 --> 00:13:11,920
I use all methods to make you work.
209
00:13:12,207 --> 00:13:14,846
That is my profession, and
besides that my only real joy.
210
00:13:15,487 --> 00:13:18,957
Is it so important to be careful with
emotions and their expressions?
211
00:13:19,127 --> 00:13:22,278
Without my private act, how can
I protect myself from the world?
212
00:13:22,767 --> 00:13:23,802
Guess!
213
00:13:24,487 --> 00:13:26,284
Maybe you shouldn't protect yourself?
214
00:13:28,807 --> 00:13:31,321
Who the hell tricked me
into using fake emotions?
215
00:13:32,367 --> 00:13:33,925
It must have started early
216
00:13:35,047 --> 00:13:36,639
deep down in my childhood.
217
00:13:37,527 --> 00:13:38,960
The travel sickness,
218
00:13:40,047 --> 00:13:41,560
the need to satisfy.
219
00:13:42,887 --> 00:13:44,923
Mom could be quite scary,
and dad...
220
00:13:45,167 --> 00:13:46,486
Yes... you know all that!
221
00:13:46,647 --> 00:13:49,115
As a child you are at disadvantage
222
00:13:49,407 --> 00:13:51,204
and then you keep on because it's easier!
223
00:13:56,927 --> 00:13:58,280
I have to ask something important.
224
00:14:00,247 --> 00:14:02,397
In the marriage scene with the lawyer
225
00:14:02,567 --> 00:14:05,206
you let me wander back and forth
like an animal in a cage.
226
00:14:05,367 --> 00:14:08,245
I can probably not do it
the way you want it done.
227
00:14:08,407 --> 00:14:09,840
I feel quite stupid.
228
00:14:10,127 --> 00:14:13,802
Try some more. If it doesn't work,
we'll come up with something else.
229
00:14:13,967 --> 00:14:15,764
Maria received a lot of praise
for that wandering,
230
00:14:15,927 --> 00:14:18,395
in your last production,
11 years ago.
231
00:14:18,887 --> 00:14:22,562
But I am not as good as her.
Besides, she was twice my age.
232
00:14:22,727 --> 00:14:27,676
- Have you read the reviews?
- Of course! What's so funny about that?
233
00:14:27,847 --> 00:14:30,156
Maria is dead and legendary...
234
00:14:30,327 --> 00:14:32,841
If you don't want to wander like Maria...
235
00:14:33,567 --> 00:14:35,398
... you can do it the other way around.
236
00:14:38,447 --> 00:14:40,165
Sit immobile,
237
00:14:41,247 --> 00:14:44,796
as if you were connected with the chair.
238
00:14:45,567 --> 00:14:48,035
Close to the stove. It is cold.
239
00:14:49,567 --> 00:14:53,401
Don't stand up until the officer
comes to rescue you from your prison.
240
00:14:54,047 --> 00:14:57,835
And then you rise as if you were paralyzed.
241
00:15:02,367 --> 00:15:05,677
Yes, that will work very well,
242
00:15:06,567 --> 00:15:08,762
and Maria turns in her grave.
243
00:15:18,487 --> 00:15:20,443
So I sit immobile,
244
00:15:21,767 --> 00:15:23,962
by the stove, freezing.
245
00:15:27,647 --> 00:15:30,286
But I can reach out to him,
when I say:
246
00:15:35,567 --> 00:15:37,000
My love...
247
00:15:38,687 --> 00:15:40,484
I die in this air,
248
00:15:42,687 --> 00:15:45,281
in this room with a rear window,
249
00:15:48,727 --> 00:15:50,285
with these children's screams,
250
00:15:51,887 --> 00:15:54,196
in endless hours without sleep.
251
00:15:57,167 --> 00:15:58,885
With these people out there,
252
00:16:00,367 --> 00:16:02,039
their moaning,
253
00:16:02,647 --> 00:16:05,559
trouble and accusations.
254
00:16:07,887 --> 00:16:10,003
I have to die in here.
255
00:16:18,367 --> 00:16:20,005
And then he approaches me,
256
00:16:22,247 --> 00:16:23,726
and puts his arms around me,
257
00:16:25,567 --> 00:16:27,842
gets down on his knees
by the chair and says:
258
00:16:30,087 --> 00:16:32,203
Poor little flower!
259
00:16:34,687 --> 00:16:35,642
Yes, that is probably good.
260
00:16:36,647 --> 00:16:38,603
It would help a lot.
261
00:17:18,887 --> 00:17:21,765
A couple of days ago, you said
that the daughter is heavy,
262
00:17:22,047 --> 00:17:24,277
several hundred kilos in this scene.
263
00:17:25,247 --> 00:17:27,044
But I can't find any weight.
264
00:17:27,687 --> 00:17:30,076
The weight is in your arms,
your shoulderand your hips.
265
00:17:30,247 --> 00:17:30,918
You say that, but...
266
00:17:31,087 --> 00:17:33,078
It's not so easy, when you jump out of bliss!
267
00:17:33,247 --> 00:17:35,841
You have trouble standing still
268
00:17:36,167 --> 00:17:39,398
in the scene with the farewell.
Stand still
269
00:17:39,567 --> 00:17:42,559
enjoy standing still,
and stand with your whole body.
270
00:17:44,927 --> 00:17:49,398
How can you be so sure that you're right?
You've never been an actor!
271
00:17:49,567 --> 00:17:51,046
- I feel it!
- Aren't you afraid to be wrong?
272
00:17:52,847 --> 00:17:54,963
When I was younger and should've
had reason to be afraid,
273
00:17:55,287 --> 00:17:58,040
I didn't have the sense to be afraid!
274
00:17:59,247 --> 00:18:03,001
Many directors paths are lined
with assaulted actors!
275
00:18:03,167 --> 00:18:04,486
Have you ever cared to
count your victims?
276
00:18:06,087 --> 00:18:09,124
In life,
or let us say reality,
277
00:18:09,287 --> 00:18:12,279
I believe that there are many people
who were hurt by my ravage.
278
00:18:12,567 --> 00:18:14,762
Just like I was hurt by
other people's treatment.
279
00:18:14,927 --> 00:18:17,282
- Not at the theatre?
- No, never at the theatre.
280
00:18:19,567 --> 00:18:22,604
I'll tell you something
that is actually true.
281
00:18:23,687 --> 00:18:25,484
I love the actors.
282
00:18:26,167 --> 00:18:27,964
I love them as phenomenons.
283
00:18:29,007 --> 00:18:30,520
I love their profession.
284
00:18:31,487 --> 00:18:33,125
I love their courage,
285
00:18:33,567 --> 00:18:36,559
or their contempt for death,
or whatever you want to call it.
286
00:18:37,767 --> 00:18:39,405
I understand their escape,
287
00:18:40,447 --> 00:18:44,565
but also their dark,
ruthless frankness.
288
00:18:46,167 --> 00:18:48,806
I love when they try to manipulate me.
289
00:18:49,327 --> 00:18:52,080
I envy their credolousness
290
00:18:53,207 --> 00:18:54,686
and their sharp-sightedness.
291
00:18:56,247 --> 00:18:59,364
I love the actors,
and therefore I can never hurt them.
292
00:18:59,527 --> 00:19:02,678
You say that you love the actors.
Are you never disappointed?
293
00:19:02,847 --> 00:19:03,643
No.
294
00:19:04,647 --> 00:19:06,239
Don't smoke all the time.
295
00:19:07,967 --> 00:19:09,195
Excuse me.
296
00:19:09,487 --> 00:19:13,241
My old teacher once said that a director
should learn how to listen
297
00:19:13,487 --> 00:19:14,806
and to shut up!
298
00:19:15,447 --> 00:19:19,076
Actors are creative artists, but
not very verbalized.
299
00:19:19,767 --> 00:19:22,565
You have to listen, be patient and wait.
300
00:19:22,727 --> 00:19:24,206
To me you say quite a lot!
301
00:19:24,367 --> 00:19:28,758
You are a beginner,
I have to trim your garden!
302
00:19:29,047 --> 00:19:33,404
There are some weeds,
but the roses are unheard of.
303
00:19:39,367 --> 00:19:40,277
Are you tired?
304
00:19:41,527 --> 00:19:45,122
Yes. I usually take a nap at this time.
305
00:19:45,287 --> 00:19:46,481
My blood sugar levels have hit rock bottom.
306
00:19:46,647 --> 00:19:47,716
Are you going to sleep here?
307
00:19:48,287 --> 00:19:51,006
No, I am going to sit here and be sentimental.
308
00:19:51,167 --> 00:19:52,520
Then I won't bother you.
309
00:19:53,047 --> 00:19:56,596
When I think about it, you never
had any bracelets this morning.
310
00:19:56,767 --> 00:19:59,406
I remember noticing that you
didn't wear a bracelet.
311
00:19:59,567 --> 00:20:00,556
It is in my dressing room!
312
00:20:02,287 --> 00:20:04,403
By the way, you don't bother me at all,
313
00:20:04,567 --> 00:20:07,161
and you could hardly stop my desire
for sentimentality, more likely the contrary.
314
00:20:07,407 --> 00:20:10,080
Then I'll sit down.
315
00:20:13,567 --> 00:20:15,046
Come a little closer,
so I can see you better,
316
00:20:15,647 --> 00:20:18,445
said the wolf to
the little girl!
317
00:20:33,447 --> 00:20:34,880
That hair-do looks good on you.
318
00:20:35,047 --> 00:20:36,878
I'm growing out my hair for my role.
319
00:20:37,087 --> 00:20:41,365
The first days you had some modern...
I don't know what it was. It didn't look good.
320
00:20:41,527 --> 00:20:45,122
I thought I'd look a little smart for you,
so I went to the hairdresser!
321
00:20:45,287 --> 00:20:46,925
For my sake? How pleasant!
322
00:20:47,087 --> 00:20:49,157
You have to make an impression, you see.
323
00:20:49,447 --> 00:20:51,358
I didn't think a young, modern,
self-supporting...
324
00:20:51,527 --> 00:20:53,483
In that field I'm not very modern.
325
00:20:57,167 --> 00:20:59,158
- This leg hurts me.
- Since when?
326
00:20:59,327 --> 00:21:01,966
It is death who chews at me,
like greedy little rats.
327
00:21:02,127 --> 00:21:03,446
Dad and you are the same age?
328
00:21:03,607 --> 00:21:06,405
Yes, dad and I are the same age.
329
00:21:08,167 --> 00:21:09,156
Now we're sitting here!
330
00:21:09,327 --> 00:21:11,397
Looking out over the dark lounge.
331
00:21:11,687 --> 00:21:16,363
Dust falls over our heads from the darkness.
Below us...
332
00:21:16,527 --> 00:21:21,965
Below us an abyss of machines and trapdoors and...
333
00:21:27,367 --> 00:21:29,278
Now we're sitting here properly.
334
00:21:33,047 --> 00:21:35,607
The armchair over there was featured
in "The Father",
335
00:21:36,487 --> 00:21:38,876
this couch appeared in "Hedda Gabler".
336
00:21:40,327 --> 00:21:42,158
I used the table for "Tartuffe"
337
00:21:43,127 --> 00:21:45,516
and the chairs in my last "A Dream Play".
338
00:21:46,447 --> 00:21:47,721
We are familiar!
339
00:21:49,327 --> 00:21:51,761
I greet them like old friends.
340
00:21:54,447 --> 00:21:57,120
But most of all, I like my
rehearsal screens.
341
00:21:58,767 --> 00:22:02,601
Reminds me of my childhood.
I had a large wooden box
342
00:22:03,167 --> 00:22:05,442
filled with the simplest building blocks.
343
00:22:05,607 --> 00:22:07,518
It represented everything I could wish for.
344
00:22:09,247 --> 00:22:10,999
For me it's best that way.
345
00:22:12,047 --> 00:22:14,641
Chair... table...
346
00:22:15,527 --> 00:22:16,880
screen...
347
00:22:18,367 --> 00:22:19,766
stage...
348
00:22:21,247 --> 00:22:23,078
working light...
349
00:22:24,247 --> 00:22:26,442
actors in plain clothes.
350
00:22:28,007 --> 00:22:29,406
Movements...
351
00:22:30,327 --> 00:22:31,521
voices...
352
00:22:32,607 --> 00:22:34,165
faces...
353
00:22:36,807 --> 00:22:38,445
calmness.
354
00:22:40,687 --> 00:22:41,802
Magic.
355
00:22:44,007 --> 00:22:46,157
All is imagined.
356
00:22:47,407 --> 00:22:48,635
Nothing exists.
357
00:22:53,447 --> 00:22:56,678
What a drag, Anna, what a drag.
358
00:22:57,767 --> 00:22:59,883
I love these old theatres.
359
00:23:00,807 --> 00:23:02,399
They are like violins,
360
00:23:03,447 --> 00:23:05,199
endlessly sensitive,
361
00:23:05,927 --> 00:23:07,406
refined,
362
00:23:08,527 --> 00:23:10,199
final.
363
00:23:11,967 --> 00:23:13,685
But they bind us.
364
00:23:14,167 --> 00:23:17,762
The word, the actor, the spectator.
That is all that is needed.
365
00:23:18,527 --> 00:23:21,200
The only thing needed for
the miracle to happen.
366
00:23:22,927 --> 00:23:24,280
That is my conviction,
367
00:23:25,087 --> 00:23:28,477
my innermost conviction,
but I never follow it.
368
00:23:30,287 --> 00:23:32,482
I am too attached to this deprivated,
369
00:23:32,647 --> 00:23:38,119
dusty and dirty instrument.
370
00:23:39,767 --> 00:23:41,758
That's how it is.
371
00:23:42,447 --> 00:23:45,484
You once said that acting is
a moral concern.
372
00:23:45,647 --> 00:23:49,720
My old teacher divided actors
into two categories:
373
00:23:49,887 --> 00:23:51,878
One gets on the stage and
the other gets off the stage.
374
00:23:52,047 --> 00:23:53,400
That sounds unfair!
375
00:23:53,567 --> 00:23:56,206
It's not unfair, but it's
not very equal either!
376
00:23:57,207 --> 00:23:59,596
You ignore Andersson no matter how he acts,
377
00:23:59,887 --> 00:24:03,163
but you watch Pettersson and the one at the
far end of the stage who doesn't move a finger.
378
00:24:03,327 --> 00:24:04,919
Actually I didn't want to be an actress.
379
00:24:08,087 --> 00:24:09,042
Who forced you?
380
00:24:09,207 --> 00:24:12,324
When mom and dad argued, I stood
in the doorway and watched them.
381
00:24:12,727 --> 00:24:16,322
They used their voices, their gestures
and their intonations.
382
00:24:16,727 --> 00:24:18,558
Sometimes a line from a play
popped in, appropriately
383
00:24:18,727 --> 00:24:20,683
transposed for the occasion.
384
00:24:22,047 --> 00:24:26,518
I thought mom was the worst.
Doesn't dad hear how fake she sounds?
385
00:24:26,687 --> 00:24:28,803
Can't he see how she observes the effects
386
00:24:29,047 --> 00:24:30,685
with her left eye and cries with the right one!
387
00:24:30,927 --> 00:24:35,682
Can't he tell how she leads the game and
forces him into the most peculiar replies?
388
00:24:36,447 --> 00:24:39,166
Mom was superb, but she didn't fool me!
389
00:24:43,527 --> 00:24:44,846
One time I told her:
390
00:24:48,047 --> 00:24:50,515
Don't put on an act, mom,
391
00:24:50,687 --> 00:24:52,564
I am a bad audience. Your efforts are in vain.
392
00:24:55,447 --> 00:25:00,362
Then she looked at me in a
frightening way and said:
393
00:25:03,087 --> 00:25:07,160
This is my only expression.
I have no other...
394
00:25:08,767 --> 00:25:11,122
Real or not...
395
00:25:13,167 --> 00:25:14,725
I suffer...
396
00:25:15,967 --> 00:25:19,880
and I am lonely...
try to understand that!
397
00:25:51,127 --> 00:25:51,718
It's raining.
398
00:25:54,647 --> 00:25:55,636
Yes, now I hear...
399
00:25:57,927 --> 00:26:00,600
- A true autumn's rain.
- Well, it is autumn.
400
00:26:03,407 --> 00:26:05,125
- Perhaps you took a nap?
- No.
401
00:26:05,287 --> 00:26:05,764
<i>Distance...</i>
402
00:26:08,647 --> 00:26:09,966
<i>Indifference...</i>
403
00:26:11,407 --> 00:26:12,317
<i>Dread...</i>
404
00:26:14,167 --> 00:26:15,361
<i>Fear...</i>
405
00:26:17,287 --> 00:26:18,800
<i>Powerlessness...</i>
406
00:26:20,687 --> 00:26:22,757
<i>Powerless anger...</i>
407
00:26:24,967 --> 00:26:26,286
<i>Distance...</i>
408
00:26:29,607 --> 00:26:30,960
Can't we make love?
409
00:26:31,407 --> 00:26:32,362
Here?
410
00:26:32,767 --> 00:26:35,361
At your room, dear.
We have done it before.
411
00:26:35,567 --> 00:26:36,636
You are not sober!
412
00:26:37,647 --> 00:26:39,797
- How unpleasant!
- Yes, it is unpleasant!
413
00:26:41,127 --> 00:26:42,685
Come, Henrik!
414
00:26:43,247 --> 00:26:44,600
I don't want to.
415
00:26:47,847 --> 00:26:49,246
Yes, you want to!
416
00:26:50,647 --> 00:26:51,443
You want to,
417
00:26:54,007 --> 00:26:55,998
but you are embarrassed!
418
00:26:56,647 --> 00:26:57,762
We have nothing more to...
419
00:26:57,927 --> 00:27:01,476
... to say, I know.
But we can make love.
420
00:27:01,807 --> 00:27:04,241
There has never been any
misunderstandings in that field,
421
00:27:04,807 --> 00:27:06,206
isn't that true, my friend?
422
00:27:06,407 --> 00:27:07,283
Yes...
423
00:27:09,487 --> 00:27:12,923
I have looked into your face,
straight into it.
424
00:27:13,927 --> 00:27:15,076
Inside.
425
00:27:16,807 --> 00:27:19,002
We have no secrets
for each other.
426
00:27:19,607 --> 00:27:21,643
It sounds like a line
from a bad play.
427
00:27:21,807 --> 00:27:23,559
- By you, perhaps?
- Thank you.
428
00:27:32,127 --> 00:27:34,800
Why do you force me to play a
role with only two lines?
429
00:27:34,967 --> 00:27:37,959
Can you answer that?
Can you give me one valid reason,
430
00:27:38,127 --> 00:27:40,402
except that it amuses you and humiliates me?
431
00:27:40,567 --> 00:27:41,317
Do you want to know the truth?
432
00:27:42,847 --> 00:27:44,485
I have always been interested in your excuses.
433
00:27:45,327 --> 00:27:46,442
You are truly a plague!
434
00:27:47,767 --> 00:27:48,563
Infectious!
435
00:27:48,887 --> 00:27:52,880
Could you possibly be of the large
kindness to try to remind yourself
436
00:27:53,047 --> 00:27:57,279
that I called you almost a year ago
and told you about this production?
437
00:27:57,447 --> 00:28:00,325
I asked you if you wanted to play Edith's
mother out of old friendship's sake.
438
00:28:01,527 --> 00:28:04,837
You cried and thanked me and said that I,
had made you insanely happy
439
00:28:05,007 --> 00:28:09,159
and that you were very happy that
I hadn't forgotten you, et cetera!
440
00:28:09,567 --> 00:28:11,523
We talked for almost an hour.
441
00:28:12,767 --> 00:28:17,477
Later that night, you phoned me,
considerably drunk,
442
00:28:17,727 --> 00:28:21,515
and said that you were very thankful
and that you still loved me .
443
00:28:23,847 --> 00:28:26,600
One minute has passed,
and I have delivered my explanation.
444
00:28:27,927 --> 00:28:29,679
If I were to add something..
445
00:28:31,567 --> 00:28:33,956
Nevermind.
It doesn't belong...
446
00:28:35,447 --> 00:28:37,802
I can imagine your conversation
with the head of the theatre.
447
00:28:38,367 --> 00:28:40,722
I thought of casting Rakel as Edith's mother.
448
00:28:40,887 --> 00:28:43,526
The head says:
Isn't that risky?
449
00:28:43,687 --> 00:28:46,963
She is in such a bad shape. She has
been out of work for three months.
450
00:28:47,127 --> 00:28:51,040
I don't know if you can stand her. She
has gotten careless and undisciplined.
451
00:28:52,447 --> 00:28:54,802
You sit quietly a while,
452
00:28:55,487 --> 00:28:57,682
thinking of old Rakel!
453
00:28:58,487 --> 00:29:00,523
You nod, smile and say:
454
00:29:00,687 --> 00:29:02,359
I'll call her!
455
00:29:06,607 --> 00:29:08,518
And let her decide...
456
00:29:28,767 --> 00:29:31,122
- Do you still live at home?
- No.
457
00:29:31,287 --> 00:29:32,356
Do you live alone?
458
00:29:33,567 --> 00:29:36,445
You know very well that
I live at the hospital.
459
00:29:37,247 --> 00:29:39,602
- I didn't know that.
- Don't pretend!
460
00:29:39,767 --> 00:29:41,962
I didn't know, I promise!
461
00:29:43,887 --> 00:29:45,605
For the sake of Anna.
462
00:29:46,047 --> 00:29:47,036
And Mikael?
463
00:29:47,647 --> 00:29:51,959
Mikael? He believes everything,
hopes everything... he is kind!
464
00:29:52,527 --> 00:29:54,802
He is kind... Mikael is kind.
465
00:29:54,967 --> 00:29:56,559
- And Anna?
- Does it interest you?
466
00:29:58,127 --> 00:29:59,321
She is fine.
467
00:29:59,727 --> 00:30:01,240
What an extensive answer!
468
00:30:01,407 --> 00:30:03,875
What do you want me to say? She is fine.
469
00:30:05,167 --> 00:30:06,282
How old is she?
470
00:30:07,487 --> 00:30:08,920
She turns twelve in June.
471
00:30:09,407 --> 00:30:11,967
She becomes more and more like you.
472
00:30:13,447 --> 00:30:14,926
You mean something unpleasant.
473
00:30:15,687 --> 00:30:17,040
Anna sells people!
474
00:30:17,207 --> 00:30:18,606
I don't understand that...
475
00:30:19,207 --> 00:30:21,801
She sells her mother to please her father.
476
00:30:21,967 --> 00:30:23,480
Maybe she has her reasons?
477
00:30:24,447 --> 00:30:26,119
Of course!
478
00:30:27,927 --> 00:30:31,078
We sit by the dinner table,
Mikael reads the paper,
479
00:30:31,247 --> 00:30:33,078
I ask him to stop.
480
00:30:34,447 --> 00:30:37,325
He rises up, folds the paper,
481
00:30:37,527 --> 00:30:40,485
approaches me and slaps me
in the face with the paper.
482
00:30:41,527 --> 00:30:44,758
He grabs his coat and hat and
slams the door.
483
00:30:46,167 --> 00:30:49,045
The following day, I overhear a
conversation between Anna and Mikael.
484
00:30:49,647 --> 00:30:52,241
Anna says she feels sorry for her father.
485
00:30:52,687 --> 00:30:56,077
She understands that he
can't take any more,
486
00:30:56,607 --> 00:30:58,757
and so on.
487
00:30:59,967 --> 00:31:01,082
Poor Rakel!
488
00:31:08,167 --> 00:31:10,635
One can do what one wants with me.
489
00:31:11,287 --> 00:31:12,276
Isn't that so?
490
00:31:13,927 --> 00:31:15,997
Anything, Henrik?
491
00:31:19,327 --> 00:31:21,158
That's what's risky about you.
492
00:31:22,727 --> 00:31:24,445
I was the best, wasn't I?
493
00:31:24,607 --> 00:31:26,040
Yes, you were the best.
494
00:31:26,767 --> 00:31:29,076
For 26 years, I was the best!
495
00:31:29,287 --> 00:31:30,515
If you wanted, you could still...
496
00:31:30,687 --> 00:31:33,076
Thanks... that is kind of you.
497
00:31:33,527 --> 00:31:36,200
Can you tell that I have fake
teeth in my upper jaw?
498
00:31:37,967 --> 00:31:39,764
I rot little by little.
499
00:31:40,927 --> 00:31:43,600
Even when I was 20 years old
and played Margareta.
500
00:31:43,847 --> 00:31:45,997
Do you remember
the final scene?
501
00:31:47,527 --> 00:31:49,643
I knew already then how
the story goes...
502
00:31:50,687 --> 00:31:51,961
The decomposition!
503
00:31:52,687 --> 00:31:54,996
It was there. It was present.
504
00:31:55,167 --> 00:31:56,680
Yes, it was...
505
00:31:56,927 --> 00:31:58,883
But it didn't show back then.
506
00:32:02,407 --> 00:32:05,683
Do you remember our show with
traditional songs on the radio?
507
00:32:06,967 --> 00:32:09,527
We sang... and played...
508
00:32:12,967 --> 00:32:15,435
Then came "The Crown Bride"
509
00:32:16,127 --> 00:32:17,879
it was you that time too.
510
00:32:20,247 --> 00:32:22,841
Why won't you sleep with me?
511
00:32:23,247 --> 00:32:26,364
I've had two glasses of
red wine, no more, no less.
512
00:32:26,527 --> 00:32:28,643
I am not drunk if that's
what you think!
513
00:32:28,807 --> 00:32:30,206
I'm not suggesting anything.
514
00:32:33,967 --> 00:32:37,482
My thighs are as smooth
as those of a young girl.
515
00:32:39,927 --> 00:32:42,202
My breasts! Look!
516
00:32:44,887 --> 00:32:47,082
Well, what do you think?
517
00:32:51,287 --> 00:32:52,766
Henrik says nothing!
518
00:32:53,607 --> 00:32:55,962
Henrik is silent and stares.
519
00:32:56,847 --> 00:32:58,485
He can't make up his mind.
520
00:32:59,127 --> 00:33:03,200
Henrik is horny, but dispirited.
521
00:33:03,847 --> 00:33:06,407
He is not looking at my
thighs and my breasts...
522
00:33:06,847 --> 00:33:08,838
He looks at my face...
523
00:33:11,207 --> 00:33:14,085
at my face...
524
00:33:17,047 --> 00:33:18,526
Oh, God!
525
00:33:23,647 --> 00:33:25,205
Why do you live at the hospital?
526
00:33:27,047 --> 00:33:30,596
My gentle doctor thinks
it's best that way.
527
00:33:31,087 --> 00:33:32,315
During the phases?
528
00:33:33,487 --> 00:33:35,000
During the phases.
529
00:33:35,847 --> 00:33:36,882
And otherwise?
530
00:33:37,927 --> 00:33:38,962
Otherwise?
531
00:33:43,727 --> 00:33:46,560
I have a floor facing the yard
behind the theatre.
532
00:33:47,527 --> 00:33:51,679
It is a beautiful yard with an old
chestnut tree just oustide the window.
533
00:33:53,367 --> 00:33:55,483
In the summer, the light turns
green in my room,
534
00:33:55,647 --> 00:33:57,285
just like an aquarium.
535
00:34:05,687 --> 00:34:09,475
Let's go home to me.
Five minutes. Four minutes!
536
00:34:09,647 --> 00:34:11,319
I'm waiting for someone.
537
00:34:22,847 --> 00:34:25,281
That doctor is considerate,
I'm telling you.
538
00:34:25,807 --> 00:34:30,801
We have long conversations.
It's called conversational therapy.
539
00:34:32,967 --> 00:34:34,719
He talks about himself
540
00:34:35,247 --> 00:34:39,479
then he fucks me slowly,
with cold, sweaty hands.
541
00:34:39,647 --> 00:34:42,320
A little helpless bastard!
542
00:34:43,287 --> 00:34:46,484
You're waiting for someone, you said?
That's unusual!
543
00:34:46,647 --> 00:34:48,956
You have never waited for anyone!
544
00:34:50,447 --> 00:34:52,915
- Who is it?
- It's none of your business.
545
00:34:53,087 --> 00:34:54,600
No, you are right.
546
00:34:58,887 --> 00:35:01,162
Then my doctor phones Mikael.
547
00:35:01,327 --> 00:35:06,685
My husband and my doctor are conversating
about Rakel and her condition,
548
00:35:06,847 --> 00:35:11,238
while Rakel lies on the floor in
her little white room and masturbates.
549
00:35:11,447 --> 00:35:14,883
It has never occurred to you that your
doctor and your husband are trying to help?
550
00:35:15,047 --> 00:35:18,756
I am absolutely positive
551
00:35:18,927 --> 00:35:20,883
that they are both absolutely positive
that they are trying to help.
552
00:35:21,047 --> 00:35:22,639
Can't you see another doctor?
553
00:35:23,487 --> 00:35:24,966
What good would that do?
554
00:35:25,807 --> 00:35:27,638
I get the care that I need.
555
00:35:28,327 --> 00:35:30,557
I have a white cube at my disposal,
556
00:35:30,727 --> 00:35:33,764
where I can channel my screams,
my prayers,
557
00:35:34,007 --> 00:35:36,396
my vomits and my fear.
558
00:35:37,287 --> 00:35:40,324
I am privileged, as they say,
559
00:35:40,767 --> 00:35:43,235
and I am endlessly thankful!
560
00:35:47,967 --> 00:35:49,923
Can I never play a big
part again?
561
00:35:52,807 --> 00:35:54,479
Is the fright too big?
562
00:35:55,367 --> 00:35:57,119
Will I die of fear?
563
00:35:57,767 --> 00:36:01,203
Will I vomit on stage, get diarrhoea,
crap my pants?
564
00:36:01,847 --> 00:36:04,361
Did you know that I have a plastic
bucket at the side-scene?
565
00:36:04,727 --> 00:36:06,319
What am I supposed to do?
566
00:36:06,687 --> 00:36:09,326
Whether I work or "rest",
as they say,
567
00:36:10,287 --> 00:36:12,243
the fear is just as big!
568
00:36:13,567 --> 00:36:16,798
Do you think that my instrument
is ruined forever?
569
00:36:16,967 --> 00:36:20,198
- I think that you...
- In that case, I must die!
570
00:36:25,727 --> 00:36:29,197
No, it's just nonsense.
I don't want to die,
571
00:36:29,367 --> 00:36:31,278
I am afraid of death!
572
00:36:31,567 --> 00:36:34,365
I can't imagine that I would
hurt myself in seriousness!
573
00:36:38,007 --> 00:36:41,761
Do you think that my instrument
is destroyed?
574
00:36:42,407 --> 00:36:43,442
No, not really.
575
00:36:48,047 --> 00:36:49,526
Idiot!
576
00:37:16,807 --> 00:37:20,959
I told them over and over...
don't do it!
577
00:37:22,087 --> 00:37:26,842
It is a catastrophy for life!
I know it's a catastrophy for life!
578
00:37:27,007 --> 00:37:28,599
I don't know what you're talking about.
579
00:37:32,967 --> 00:37:35,959
It was an everyday fight
between Mikael and me...
580
00:37:37,087 --> 00:37:38,440
I knew he was lying.
581
00:37:39,087 --> 00:37:40,486
I tried to make him speak
the truth.
582
00:37:40,647 --> 00:37:42,285
Just that one time!
583
00:37:42,927 --> 00:37:45,566
But he lied. And he clinged to it.
584
00:37:47,167 --> 00:37:48,680
I know that I acted wrong.
585
00:37:48,847 --> 00:37:52,681
I know that I screamed and cried
and locked myself in the bathroom.
586
00:37:52,847 --> 00:37:56,840
I hit Anna,
so she started to holler.
587
00:37:58,127 --> 00:38:01,722
I tried to console her, but
she fended me off
588
00:38:02,407 --> 00:38:04,716
and ran to Mikael for protection.
589
00:38:05,567 --> 00:38:07,444
Then I hit her!
590
00:38:13,287 --> 00:38:14,766
I regret it...
591
00:38:15,447 --> 00:38:18,484
I have regretted it every day...
592
00:38:22,487 --> 00:38:26,196
Mikael called the police
and our friend, the doctor,
593
00:38:28,007 --> 00:38:31,443
and he came together with a locksmith,
594
00:38:32,127 --> 00:38:34,357
policemen and caretakers.
595
00:38:34,967 --> 00:38:40,166
I just wanted Mikael to speak the
truth, just that one time!
596
00:38:40,527 --> 00:38:43,963
You know that I want the truth, no
matter how disturbing it may be!
597
00:38:44,847 --> 00:38:46,519
Regular people don't want your
demands for truth.
598
00:38:47,287 --> 00:38:48,276
You were involved too.
599
00:38:48,967 --> 00:38:51,083
It was you who said there was a
risk for suicide!
600
00:38:51,247 --> 00:38:54,125
Even though you know that I've
never tried to hurt myself!
601
00:38:55,007 --> 00:38:56,599
Stop provoking me, please!
602
00:38:57,327 --> 00:38:59,443
You, Mikael and the doctor!
603
00:38:59,607 --> 00:39:02,167
Your conspiration theories are
completely unreal!
604
00:39:02,327 --> 00:39:04,124
You couldn't tear me apart one by
one. Not even two by two.
605
00:39:04,287 --> 00:39:07,962
But all of you three together
were good enough!
606
00:39:08,127 --> 00:39:10,243
<i>Listen, Rakel,</i>
607
00:39:10,567 --> 00:39:12,125
<i>why don't you go to hell
where you belong!</i>
608
00:39:12,687 --> 00:39:14,484
<i>I don't ever want to speak
with you again.</i>
609
00:39:14,687 --> 00:39:16,200
<i>Think about you.</i>
610
00:39:16,527 --> 00:39:19,121
<i>I don't ever want to have
anything to do with you.</i>
611
00:39:19,487 --> 00:39:22,081
<i>Once and for all,
I have obliterated you.</i>
612
00:39:22,327 --> 00:39:23,646
<i>You don't exist...</i>
613
00:39:32,767 --> 00:39:34,758
We had been your lovers,
614
00:39:35,567 --> 00:39:38,240
and you had raised us between
your knees,
615
00:39:39,127 --> 00:39:42,642
and then you had rejected us,
and searched for new victims.
616
00:39:43,767 --> 00:39:46,565
Even back then, you drank heavily,
617
00:39:48,247 --> 00:39:50,556
and when you were drunk,
you were hard on me.
618
00:39:52,287 --> 00:39:54,084
Hard on yourself too!
619
00:39:58,327 --> 00:40:01,125
Good God, help me!
620
00:40:03,007 --> 00:40:05,362
Why can't you give me one more shot?
621
00:40:05,727 --> 00:40:08,161
- I promise not to disappoint you.
- I don't dare, Rakel.
622
00:40:12,327 --> 00:40:15,239
Such a stupid answer!
623
00:40:15,807 --> 00:40:18,116
I am a magnificent instrument,
you've said it yourself.
624
00:40:18,287 --> 00:40:22,724
Through me, you can hear tones
never heard before!
625
00:40:23,327 --> 00:40:25,682
Isn't that worth an experiment?
626
00:40:27,647 --> 00:40:29,319
The sister of my own mother,
627
00:40:29,567 --> 00:40:34,800
in her blindness, have denied
Dionysos' divine extraction.
628
00:40:35,207 --> 00:40:36,720
That is why
629
00:40:37,367 --> 00:40:40,200
I have driven them furiously
from house and home,
630
00:40:40,367 --> 00:40:42,927
and forced all the women of
Cadmos' tribe,
631
00:40:43,447 --> 00:40:46,484
with the emblem of the orgy,
to head for the mountains.
632
00:40:47,167 --> 00:40:50,079
Among Cadmos' daughters, they
gather in the wilds,
633
00:40:50,487 --> 00:40:54,162
among cliffs and the ever so
green pine forest.
634
00:40:54,607 --> 00:40:58,043
Yes, this town, where the shouts
of Bacchus have never been heard,
635
00:40:58,207 --> 00:41:00,721
shall atone for the insult of my
mother
636
00:41:00,887 --> 00:41:03,606
and, wantingly or not, make remedy!
637
00:41:29,727 --> 00:41:33,686
Do you dread your own tumult so much,
that you can't bear the unpredictable?
638
00:41:33,847 --> 00:41:35,838
You're getting insufferably theatrical!
639
00:41:36,047 --> 00:41:37,765
Am I? Excuse me.
640
00:41:38,127 --> 00:41:41,756
I hate tumult,
aggressions, fits of rage...
641
00:41:42,407 --> 00:41:45,922
I administrate, divide, organize...
642
00:41:46,087 --> 00:41:49,124
I'm not part of the drama,
I materialize it.
643
00:41:49,647 --> 00:41:53,879
I despise the spontaneous,
unmeditated, unspecified.
644
00:41:54,287 --> 00:41:56,164
I have no room for my own complications,
645
00:41:56,727 --> 00:41:59,002
other as keys to the secrets
of the scripts
646
00:41:59,527 --> 00:42:02,599
or impulses for the actors'
creativity.
647
00:42:02,767 --> 00:42:06,282
My rehearsal is a operation in
an operating room,
648
00:42:06,447 --> 00:42:09,120
where self-discipline, cleanliness,
649
00:42:09,287 --> 00:42:11,198
light and stillness reigns.
650
00:42:11,607 --> 00:42:13,962
That's the only way we can
approach the limitless.
651
00:42:14,167 --> 00:42:16,727
The difficulties, the darkness.
652
00:42:17,887 --> 00:42:22,085
That's the only way we can solve the mysteries
and learn the mechanics of repeating.
653
00:42:23,007 --> 00:42:25,840
I manage scripts and working hours!
654
00:42:26,207 --> 00:42:29,438
I am responsible for keeping the
work meaningful.
655
00:42:29,607 --> 00:42:33,646
I am not private.
I observe and I register.
656
00:42:33,807 --> 00:42:35,718
I am not impulsive, spontaneous,
657
00:42:36,167 --> 00:42:40,240
contributory...
it just looks like it.
658
00:42:42,087 --> 00:42:44,157
If I for a moment tore off
the mask
659
00:42:44,327 --> 00:42:46,443
and showed my real thoughts and
emotions,
660
00:42:46,927 --> 00:42:51,364
you would turn against me in rage,
tear me apart, throw me out the window!
661
00:42:51,527 --> 00:42:55,998
Moron! Theatre is dirt, filth
and sexual excitement,
662
00:42:56,167 --> 00:42:59,204
tumult, rattle and devilry.
663
00:42:59,807 --> 00:43:02,844
I don't believe your pure theory
for a moment,
664
00:43:03,007 --> 00:43:05,202
it is suspicious. Just like you.
665
00:43:05,447 --> 00:43:06,277
How would it be if...
666
00:43:08,847 --> 00:43:10,838
Bah, it doesn't pay.
667
00:43:11,047 --> 00:43:13,561
I don't even know why I...
668
00:43:13,847 --> 00:43:16,122
Why I'm not the most gullible
person in the world!
669
00:43:17,527 --> 00:43:23,966
All the lies you have crammed down
my throat! Luckily my memory is bad.
670
00:43:24,127 --> 00:43:25,560
Indeed.
671
00:43:26,927 --> 00:43:28,360
Why are you so bored?
672
00:43:28,767 --> 00:43:32,237
I'm not bored. I'm just wondering
how many victims are lined up...
673
00:43:35,367 --> 00:43:39,565
I am here, at my beloved theatre,
674
00:43:40,247 --> 00:43:41,475
46 years old,
675
00:43:41,647 --> 00:43:45,003
my ex-lover has offered me a role
with two lines out of pity...
676
00:43:45,167 --> 00:43:47,965
<i>Oh my god,
how she lies and behaves affectedly.</i>
677
00:43:49,527 --> 00:43:52,803
<i>This talented person
shows off and becomes unbearable.</i>
678
00:43:54,607 --> 00:43:57,838
<i>I know what that lousy
show means.</i>
679
00:43:59,167 --> 00:44:01,886
<i>Soon, she will be struck by the truth!</i>
680
00:44:03,127 --> 00:44:05,436
<i>The short but terrible insight...</i>
681
00:44:06,927 --> 00:44:08,485
<i>the breakdown.</i>
682
00:44:13,527 --> 00:44:15,358
My face!
683
00:44:19,407 --> 00:44:21,637
I stink like a rotten fish!
684
00:44:22,087 --> 00:44:25,841
My skin pours out some moisture
that smells like shit...
685
00:44:26,687 --> 00:44:30,965
The make-up doesn't stick, it runs
down and gathers in thick lumps.
686
00:44:34,207 --> 00:44:38,803
I try to make my nails clean but they
crack and get dirty.
687
00:44:39,767 --> 00:44:42,201
I am completely rotten...
I know.
688
00:44:42,527 --> 00:44:44,358
Don't you think I know?
689
00:44:45,927 --> 00:44:49,966
You talk about the victims that
line my path!
690
00:44:50,167 --> 00:44:51,759
I'll be damned...
691
00:44:51,927 --> 00:44:54,885
But Rakel,
it is a compliment!
692
00:44:55,047 --> 00:44:59,165
A compliment? Excuse me!
693
00:45:02,047 --> 00:45:04,277
I know that you despise my tears,
694
00:45:06,407 --> 00:45:08,796
I know that you hate that I blow
my nose in a dirty napkin...
695
00:45:08,967 --> 00:45:13,802
but I got oil on my fingers and
I have no other...
696
00:45:14,687 --> 00:45:19,556
I don't want you any harm, Rakel.
Do you hear me?
697
00:45:22,527 --> 00:45:25,041
If you don't dare to be so serious,
we could do a comedy together!
698
00:45:25,487 --> 00:45:27,717
Moliиre!
I would be a good Dorine!
699
00:45:28,047 --> 00:45:30,003
She doesn't need to be young.
700
00:45:30,167 --> 00:45:33,045
The french always portray her
as an old hag,
701
00:45:33,447 --> 00:45:37,725
which I think is wrong...
she's supposed to show cleavage...
702
00:45:38,727 --> 00:45:40,365
I've always failed with "Tartuffe".
703
00:45:40,607 --> 00:45:42,120
That's why you should try again!
704
00:45:42,367 --> 00:45:46,155
Besides, I think the play is boring.
705
00:45:48,447 --> 00:45:50,085
Well, then it's probably no use.
706
00:45:52,727 --> 00:45:53,364
I'm leaving.
707
00:45:54,687 --> 00:45:55,597
You can stay.
708
00:45:56,047 --> 00:45:58,402
- No, I'm just bothering you.
- Not at all.
709
00:45:58,647 --> 00:45:59,602
You are waiting for someone, no?
710
00:46:01,207 --> 00:46:02,435
It was just something I said.
711
00:46:03,247 --> 00:46:06,284
You just dislike that I got ahold of you.
712
00:46:11,687 --> 00:46:13,120
You never believe in me,
713
00:46:14,487 --> 00:46:16,159
but try to believe this:
714
00:46:17,927 --> 00:46:19,997
Not a day goes by that I don't
think of you.
715
00:46:22,047 --> 00:46:26,086
Every night, before my soporifics
knock me unconcious, I think of you.
716
00:46:27,807 --> 00:46:29,843
You are always in my thoughts...
717
00:46:30,607 --> 00:46:31,881
That's how it is, Rakel.
718
00:46:33,487 --> 00:46:36,479
- That was kind of you...
- Not kindness: truth.
719
00:46:36,647 --> 00:46:39,081
It was kind of you to tell me.
720
00:46:42,647 --> 00:46:46,037
Go home to your flat and clean up.
I'll be with you in one hour.
721
00:46:46,207 --> 00:46:48,118
You're just saying that to get
rid of me!
722
00:46:49,567 --> 00:46:51,000
Yes, I will go.
723
00:46:58,327 --> 00:46:59,726
I'm leaving.
724
00:47:07,327 --> 00:47:10,797
Do you want to have dinner? I can cook
something good, like in the old days.
725
00:47:10,967 --> 00:47:12,480
Don't bother for me.
726
00:47:13,007 --> 00:47:16,522
That's Henrik Vogler in a nutshell.
"Don't bother for me!"
727
00:47:16,687 --> 00:47:19,679
"Don't bother for me"
728
00:47:20,087 --> 00:47:21,679
I'm not angry, Henrik!
729
00:47:22,047 --> 00:47:25,005
I can joke a little, can't I?
Or is that forbidden?
730
00:47:25,167 --> 00:47:26,680
You're at advantage, as usual!
731
00:47:31,087 --> 00:47:33,203
When you arrive,
I will be newly bathed,
732
00:47:33,527 --> 00:47:37,122
sweet smelling... sober...
733
00:47:39,807 --> 00:47:43,356
The great unconciousness!
734
00:47:48,407 --> 00:47:50,204
Oh Henrik, my dear...
735
00:47:51,687 --> 00:47:55,475
Do you think I'd been happier
in life if I were cynical?
736
00:47:56,847 --> 00:47:59,236
Go now... I will probably be there.
737
00:48:00,847 --> 00:48:01,757
Rakel?
738
00:48:04,567 --> 00:48:07,843
<i>That's how it always is.
Running after her, shouting her name...</i>
739
00:48:09,807 --> 00:48:12,526
<i>And then lies,
and fruitless reconciliations!</i>
740
00:48:12,687 --> 00:48:16,726
<i>And then guilty conscience,
fear and restrained curses.</i>
741
00:48:17,247 --> 00:48:21,126
<i>And then compassion...
Always the same.</i>
742
00:49:20,527 --> 00:49:23,360
I never thought about mom's infantility.
743
00:49:26,927 --> 00:49:28,883
Last thursday, you said I'm childish
for my age.
744
00:49:29,047 --> 00:49:31,038
- Did I?
- Yes, and it's true!
745
00:49:31,207 --> 00:49:35,325
I am childish.
Sometimes it's embarrassing!
746
00:49:35,487 --> 00:49:38,559
Gullible, negligent and naive.
747
00:49:38,727 --> 00:49:41,366
In our profession, infantility
is quite widely spread.
748
00:49:41,767 --> 00:49:43,837
How the hell would it be possible if not?
749
00:49:44,327 --> 00:49:47,717
Sometimes it surprises me that people
even takes us seriously...
750
00:49:47,887 --> 00:49:50,685
That they build large, beautiful
houses for us
751
00:49:50,847 --> 00:49:52,838
where we can gather and play our games!
752
00:49:53,007 --> 00:49:54,360
Take care of your infantility!
753
00:49:55,087 --> 00:49:58,523
It is an excellent filter against your
conciousness.
754
00:49:58,687 --> 00:50:01,076
When I fall for my passions I am not
the least concious.
755
00:50:01,247 --> 00:50:03,681
- Are you jealous?
- Normally.
756
00:50:03,847 --> 00:50:05,838
"Normally"! Oh well, I believe you.
757
00:50:06,007 --> 00:50:08,680
- And you?
- Hardly normally!
758
00:50:11,447 --> 00:50:14,917
You look at me as if you were going to
say something astonishing,
759
00:50:15,087 --> 00:50:16,076
and I think:
760
00:50:16,447 --> 00:50:19,484
Is this uncle Henrik's way to seduce
young ladies?
761
00:50:19,647 --> 00:50:20,966
That was unkind of you!
762
00:50:21,127 --> 00:50:23,243
I am delighted!
Can't you see?
763
00:50:23,767 --> 00:50:24,597
Really?
764
00:50:25,927 --> 00:50:28,122
Now I ruined that thing you were
about to say!
765
00:50:28,287 --> 00:50:31,165
If it amuses you, I can tell you that
I am indeed fond of you.
766
00:50:31,767 --> 00:50:33,405
In love, if you wish!
767
00:50:34,087 --> 00:50:38,239
I am happy that you exist, that you're sitting
next to me in the "Hedda Gabler"-couch,
768
00:50:39,207 --> 00:50:41,038
that I can reach you with my hand.
769
00:50:42,607 --> 00:50:45,963
I am happy that we have five weeks
of common work ahead of us,
770
00:50:46,127 --> 00:50:48,402
that you are tied to me
professionally,
771
00:50:48,807 --> 00:50:50,604
and thereby emotionally.
772
00:50:52,087 --> 00:50:54,965
I am in love with you because
you are a young, beautiful person.
773
00:50:56,767 --> 00:50:59,565
Because you are an exceptionally
and uniquely equipped human being...
774
00:51:02,447 --> 00:51:05,007
not to mention that you are a
good actress.
775
00:51:05,407 --> 00:51:06,362
That was beautiful!
776
00:51:06,527 --> 00:51:09,803
Of course I am jealous!
That's part of the game!
777
00:51:10,047 --> 00:51:14,643
I know that you live together with that
little corpulent directing assistant,
778
00:51:14,807 --> 00:51:16,286
whatever his name is... Johan something!
779
00:51:16,527 --> 00:51:20,520
Not only is he uncommonly rude,
he is also talentless,
780
00:51:20,687 --> 00:51:23,565
at least judging by his Brecht
production up at the Studio.
781
00:51:23,727 --> 00:51:27,606
That he by some miracle has succeeded
to lie on top of you
782
00:51:27,767 --> 00:51:30,565
must be regarded as the triumph
of mediocrity!
783
00:51:30,727 --> 00:51:33,082
But maybe he has invisible qualities,
what do I know.
784
00:51:35,087 --> 00:51:36,406
What does your father think?
785
00:51:36,567 --> 00:51:39,604
- That Johan is sweet.
- That he is sweet?
786
00:51:39,767 --> 00:51:43,999
Are you sure he wasn't being ironic?
"Johan sure is a sweet boy!"
787
00:51:44,167 --> 00:51:45,885
We are expecting a child.
788
00:51:51,327 --> 00:51:52,726
I knew it!
789
00:51:53,847 --> 00:51:55,166
Which month, the second?
790
00:51:55,327 --> 00:51:56,362
The third.
791
00:51:59,127 --> 00:52:00,276
I knew it! It's absurd!
792
00:52:00,727 --> 00:52:01,762
What's absurd?
793
00:52:02,007 --> 00:52:04,646
Before the opening, you'll be in the
fifth month.
794
00:52:05,287 --> 00:52:08,199
How long can you act?
Three weeks? Two?
795
00:52:08,447 --> 00:52:11,041
What about my work?
Pardon my anger, but...
796
00:52:11,207 --> 00:52:13,516
So now you're not happy about our
cooperation anymore.
797
00:52:13,807 --> 00:52:14,842
I don't understand anything!
798
00:52:15,887 --> 00:52:19,482
A young, promising actress is
offered the best part in the world.
799
00:52:20,367 --> 00:52:22,722
It is a pivotal moment of her career.
800
00:52:23,127 --> 00:52:25,925
For more than a year, she has known
when she'll be doing the part,
801
00:52:27,007 --> 00:52:30,079
and she gets pregnant.
I don't understand anything!
802
00:52:30,247 --> 00:52:32,283
So now your love for me has died,
hasn't it?
803
00:52:36,287 --> 00:52:38,642
No. Quite the contrary.
804
00:52:40,727 --> 00:52:41,364
How do you mean?
805
00:52:43,447 --> 00:52:46,678
I enjoy directing "A Dream Play" with
you as Agnes.
806
00:52:48,647 --> 00:52:52,037
That the play can be shown for two weeks
is even more fun.
807
00:52:53,167 --> 00:52:55,556
It didn't turn out to be a production,
it turned out to be a child.
808
00:52:57,447 --> 00:52:59,881
When I think about it,
it's really magnificent!
809
00:53:01,727 --> 00:53:06,084
But I get even more upset at that
directing assistant!
810
00:53:06,247 --> 00:53:08,715
What a triumph for him to have sabotaged
my production!
811
00:53:09,287 --> 00:53:10,800
Maybe you want me to have an abortion?
812
00:53:19,407 --> 00:53:21,159
No, not for the theatre, it's not worth it...
813
00:53:21,767 --> 00:53:22,597
But you said that...
814
00:53:22,847 --> 00:53:26,476
Nevermind! It was the director inside me
that spoke. The one who has
815
00:53:26,647 --> 00:53:29,844
the notion that his efforts should
be meaningful.
816
00:53:30,247 --> 00:53:32,920
Don't mind him, I'm sick of him myself!
817
00:53:34,287 --> 00:53:36,084
I'm seeing the head of the theatre tomorrow.
818
00:53:37,647 --> 00:53:39,524
- To give up the part?
- Yes.
819
00:53:40,487 --> 00:53:42,921
- Who is going to replace you?
- It's up to you... Karin or...
820
00:53:43,087 --> 00:53:44,566
I don't want anyone else!
821
00:53:48,767 --> 00:53:50,837
You were the whole point of this
production. It was you who...
822
00:53:52,327 --> 00:53:53,646
Now I've said what I was going to say.
823
00:53:54,247 --> 00:53:55,362
What about the bracelet?
824
00:53:55,687 --> 00:53:57,757
It was just a bad excuse.
825
00:54:25,087 --> 00:54:27,078
I don't want you to give up the part.
826
00:54:27,247 --> 00:54:29,807
What about your aggressions?
How am I supposed to live through them?
827
00:54:30,207 --> 00:54:32,596
- I've already said that...
- There won't be a child.
828
00:54:33,767 --> 00:54:34,995
You've already had an abortion?
829
00:54:36,567 --> 00:54:38,364
- Last week.
- Is it so?
830
00:54:38,527 --> 00:54:39,642
I want to play the part!
831
00:54:44,887 --> 00:54:45,797
I see.
832
00:54:52,807 --> 00:54:56,356
My relationship with Johan has
practically ended...
833
00:54:58,487 --> 00:54:59,806
So why did you tell me?
834
00:55:02,607 --> 00:55:04,643
I don't know. I just did.
835
00:55:05,127 --> 00:55:08,358
You wanted to see my reaction?
836
00:55:08,607 --> 00:55:11,201
Maybe I wanted to see you lose your face.
837
00:55:11,407 --> 00:55:13,318
- I lost my face.
- Indeed!
838
00:55:13,487 --> 00:55:15,045
So your little joke really paid off.
839
00:55:18,527 --> 00:55:20,563
Now I'm erasing that sad face.
840
00:55:31,807 --> 00:55:33,365
Sometimes you remind me of your mother.
841
00:55:33,527 --> 00:55:36,246
I'm sorry that I made you unhappy.
842
00:55:36,487 --> 00:55:38,318
I don't like when you put on an act.
843
00:55:39,047 --> 00:55:41,515
Are you sure that you can see through
everything, are you never wrong?
844
00:55:41,687 --> 00:55:43,086
- Not with you.
- I wasn't putting on an act!
845
00:55:43,247 --> 00:55:46,159
You did a tender gesture, but you wanted
to slap me.
846
00:55:46,327 --> 00:55:49,524
- It's not true!
- You are much like your mother.
847
00:55:49,887 --> 00:55:51,957
If you say that I am like my mother
one more time, if you
848
00:55:52,127 --> 00:55:55,164
say it one more time, I will leave.
849
00:55:55,327 --> 00:55:56,726
You are truly much like your mother!
850
00:56:00,047 --> 00:56:01,480
I'll tell you something that will
surprise you...
851
00:56:01,847 --> 00:56:02,996
Now you've made me curious!
852
00:56:03,447 --> 00:56:05,119
Johan admires you. Surprising, no?
853
00:56:05,567 --> 00:56:06,556
Yes, that was surprising.
854
00:56:06,727 --> 00:56:09,719
He had gladly been your assistant
for "A Dream Play".
855
00:56:09,967 --> 00:56:12,117
He was terribly disappointed when
you chose Eva.
856
00:56:12,927 --> 00:56:13,564
I actually thought...
857
00:56:13,727 --> 00:56:15,524
Johan thinks that you have something
to teach.
858
00:56:15,767 --> 00:56:19,237
He was glad that I would be working with you.
And jealous!
859
00:56:19,407 --> 00:56:20,078
And then you got pregnant!
860
00:56:20,327 --> 00:56:21,965
I wanted the child.
861
00:56:22,167 --> 00:56:24,522
He persuaded me to have the abortion.
862
00:56:25,727 --> 00:56:27,319
Now I've suprised you twice!
863
00:56:27,887 --> 00:56:28,524
Indeed...
864
00:56:29,967 --> 00:56:31,525
I wanted the child...
865
00:56:32,327 --> 00:56:34,079
despite it wasn't Johan's,
866
00:56:34,607 --> 00:56:37,201
and despite that I wouldn't play
in your production.
867
00:56:39,007 --> 00:56:41,726
I was afraid that I never would
have a child again.
868
00:56:49,447 --> 00:56:51,244
But Johan persuaded me...
869
00:56:52,647 --> 00:56:53,966
So now I'm here...
870
00:56:58,207 --> 00:56:59,356
In your hand...
871
00:57:03,047 --> 00:57:04,036
And me in yours.
872
00:57:11,327 --> 00:57:13,443
I've lived alone for eight years.
873
00:57:15,407 --> 00:57:18,126
An old lady visits me three
hours a day,
874
00:57:18,487 --> 00:57:20,762
she cleans up, cooks, washes
the dishes and leaves.
875
00:57:22,207 --> 00:57:23,322
I have some friends.
876
00:57:24,287 --> 00:57:26,118
We talk politics and play chess.
877
00:57:28,047 --> 00:57:29,958
My wife visits me when she pleases.
878
00:57:30,127 --> 00:57:32,402
We spend the evening and night together.
879
00:57:33,487 --> 00:57:35,796
- We're quite attached to each other.
- I will only come when you call for me.
880
00:57:43,167 --> 00:57:46,796
A mean psychologist has said that the
temperature of love can only be
881
00:57:47,047 --> 00:57:48,605
measured by the loneliness that
precedes it.
882
00:57:49,007 --> 00:57:50,838
I had imagined this differently.
883
00:57:52,367 --> 00:57:56,042
We'd have our work,
our rehearsals,
884
00:57:56,847 --> 00:57:58,326
the hours at the stage...
885
00:57:58,487 --> 00:57:59,442
"A Dream Play" and us!
886
00:57:59,607 --> 00:58:01,086
I'm sorry that I ruined your plans!
887
00:58:02,287 --> 00:58:04,562
I would share my experience
with you...
888
00:58:08,167 --> 00:58:12,558
I give you identification,
care, tenderness,
889
00:58:12,927 --> 00:58:14,485
from 10:30 am to 3 pm.
890
00:58:15,767 --> 00:58:20,238
I make the audience love you,
put you in a flattering light.
891
00:58:21,247 --> 00:58:24,683
I protect you from yourself, I lead you with
my hand and make sure you don't fall.
892
00:58:26,127 --> 00:58:29,881
Between 10:30 am and 3 pm...
No, no, don't touch me!
893
00:58:30,647 --> 00:58:34,435
I'm not of interest to you.
I am over with...
894
00:58:35,207 --> 00:58:37,437
Over with and almost outplayed.
895
00:58:38,727 --> 00:58:40,558
I say this without coqueting.
896
00:58:42,567 --> 00:58:46,116
I refuse to play in your drama.
897
00:58:47,287 --> 00:58:49,323
It can only be ridiculous and humiliating.
898
00:58:50,047 --> 00:58:53,517
No, no, of course not,
not for you!
899
00:58:54,647 --> 00:58:58,037
What had you imagined?
A drama of passion?
900
00:58:58,807 --> 00:59:03,835
A romantic adventure?
Or maybe just some overtime acting?
901
00:59:05,127 --> 00:59:07,846
You already have a competent father.
902
00:59:10,287 --> 00:59:11,356
You don't need another one.
903
00:59:18,367 --> 00:59:21,484
Just before rehearsals began,
I lost a front tooth.
904
00:59:21,647 --> 00:59:23,558
I had cold sweats because of it.
905
00:59:24,167 --> 00:59:28,126
Shall I appear before Anna Egerman
with a gap between my teeth?
906
00:59:28,967 --> 00:59:32,118
She will find my repellant!
907
00:59:33,247 --> 00:59:37,365
A good dentist took pity in me and
achieved a miracle.
908
00:59:37,647 --> 00:59:40,207
I could perform with full authority
and a new tooth!
909
00:59:42,287 --> 00:59:46,200
In my predicament, you always search for
910
00:59:46,487 --> 00:59:48,000
something repellant about the others,
something insignificant that you
911
00:59:48,167 --> 00:59:51,762
can blow up, that you can take care
of and that might be of help.
912
00:59:53,287 --> 00:59:54,925
But I didn't find any of that in you!
913
00:59:57,007 --> 00:59:58,804
I was helplessly deserted!
914
01:00:15,087 --> 01:00:18,966
I've told myself over and over that
you're too much like your mother,
915
01:00:20,047 --> 01:00:22,163
I think that you can be both cruel
and merciless.
916
01:00:22,327 --> 01:00:26,923
I think that you're a good liar.
Not to get ahead but to manipulate.
917
01:00:27,767 --> 01:00:30,600
I think you've planned me into your pattern.
918
01:00:31,207 --> 01:00:34,882
Perhaps our affair would boost that
lukewarm relationship with Johan!
919
01:00:35,727 --> 01:00:37,957
What do I know,
I might be unfair.
920
01:00:38,367 --> 01:00:40,517
Now there's not much more to say.
921
01:00:40,967 --> 01:00:42,195
Yes! You could tell me I'm wrong!
922
01:00:42,367 --> 01:00:44,642
Could I persuade you?
Do you even want to be persuaded?
923
01:00:44,807 --> 01:00:46,684
Don't take it so seriously!
924
01:00:47,447 --> 01:00:49,915
Only critics believe in an
objective truth,
925
01:00:50,087 --> 01:00:52,806
while they coquet by
claiming the opposite.
926
01:00:53,287 --> 01:00:55,517
- Put your hand against my breast.
- No.
927
01:00:59,807 --> 01:01:02,605
<i>Now there are no more excuses.</i>
928
01:01:03,087 --> 01:01:07,285
<i>A humorous fiasco...
A miserable retreat...</i>
929
01:01:08,167 --> 01:01:09,919
<i>An absurd situation!</i>
930
01:01:10,087 --> 01:01:12,043
If I were 10 years younger...
931
01:01:12,327 --> 01:01:15,000
<i>"That's how it goes,
my dear Ariel!"</i>
932
01:01:15,767 --> 01:01:16,836
<i>"That's how it goes..."</i>
933
01:01:17,007 --> 01:01:18,281
You defend yourself badly!
934
01:01:18,487 --> 01:01:21,957
Yes, very badly...
"If I were 10 years younger"!
935
01:01:24,047 --> 01:01:27,119
After a week, we started talking
after the rehearsals.
936
01:01:27,287 --> 01:01:29,847
We have to discuss the part, don't we?
937
01:01:30,207 --> 01:01:32,243
We'll go to the canteen and have
a cup of coffee.
938
01:01:32,407 --> 01:01:35,399
A chosen colleague comes with
us as a cover.
939
01:01:36,287 --> 01:01:37,879
Then we started to meet in my room.
940
01:01:38,047 --> 01:01:41,198
We sit far apart, drinking
mineral water
941
01:01:41,367 --> 01:01:43,198
and eating biscuits.
942
01:01:43,407 --> 01:01:45,716
When you leave, we kiss.
943
01:01:46,847 --> 01:01:49,645
One day, we talk about your
troubled love affairs...
944
01:01:49,807 --> 01:01:54,597
You sell Johan and I happily buy
him in your wrapping!
945
01:01:55,167 --> 01:02:00,685
A few days later, you arrive crying
at the rehearsals.
946
01:02:00,847 --> 01:02:03,520
When I ask what happened, you shake
your head.
947
01:02:03,767 --> 01:02:06,406
That day, we worked wonderfully together.
948
01:02:06,647 --> 01:02:10,356
At 3, I ask you if you can have dinner
with me at 7.
949
01:02:10,527 --> 01:02:13,883
You look at me with sad frankness
and nod.
950
01:02:14,527 --> 01:02:15,164
You arrive...
951
01:02:15,327 --> 01:02:18,524
15 minutes late! I've argued with Johan
because we're having dinner!
952
01:02:18,967 --> 01:02:22,596
We have dinner, drink wine and talk about
you all night long.
953
01:02:22,847 --> 01:02:25,315
A 11, I drive you home.
954
01:02:25,607 --> 01:02:28,804
Our relationship is sweet and
full of promises.
955
01:02:29,127 --> 01:02:31,800
I kiss your cheek and tell you
to take care...
956
01:02:32,927 --> 01:02:35,157
You look at me with a mysterious smile
957
01:02:35,327 --> 01:02:37,397
and you shake your head.
958
01:02:38,087 --> 01:02:44,242
Your eyes, your beautiful eyes
are filled with tears.
959
01:02:46,327 --> 01:02:50,684
A few nights later, we sleep together
for the first time.
960
01:02:50,847 --> 01:02:52,678
A first try, just for fun.
961
01:02:54,047 --> 01:03:00,236
The experience leaves a feeling of
sweetness and deficient satisfaction.
962
01:03:01,047 --> 01:03:02,685
It tingles my curiosity.
963
01:03:03,727 --> 01:03:06,366
Everybody knows, but nobody
says anything.
964
01:03:07,447 --> 01:03:09,438
Johan sneaks around,
965
01:03:09,687 --> 01:03:12,485
and receives attention from compassionate
female drama students.
966
01:03:12,647 --> 01:03:15,002
The atmopshere is euphoric,
967
01:03:15,167 --> 01:03:19,080
at times interrupted by violent but
harmless thunderstorms.
968
01:03:19,727 --> 01:03:23,845
When four weeks are remaining,
crisis arises!
969
01:03:24,087 --> 01:03:25,805
- What crisis?
- I'll tell you that.
970
01:03:28,247 --> 01:03:32,559
One day, during the rehearsals, we are
hit by an exchange of opinions.
971
01:03:33,327 --> 01:03:35,124
About what?
Probably some petty thing.
972
01:03:35,527 --> 01:03:39,076
For four rehearsals, I have lost myself
at the exact same place.
973
01:03:39,247 --> 01:03:42,398
I am particularly bad there.
974
01:03:42,567 --> 01:03:43,602
You get annoyed and say...
975
01:03:43,767 --> 01:03:46,406
I say: Read this passage for
yourself one afternoon.
976
01:03:47,167 --> 01:03:49,556
It's no use.
I've never understood what it says.
977
01:03:50,247 --> 01:03:51,680
I've explained to you...
978
01:03:51,927 --> 01:03:54,964
I am stupid, but your explanations
have only made it more puzzling!
979
01:03:55,207 --> 01:03:59,644
I suggest that you read the passage
to yourself, loud and clear!
980
01:04:00,767 --> 01:04:03,440
It is a simple method when you persist
in not wanting to...
981
01:04:03,607 --> 01:04:06,599
- You're saying that I'm obstinate!
- I'm not saying anything!
982
01:04:06,767 --> 01:04:08,644
When we meet at the hotel later,
983
01:04:09,007 --> 01:04:13,319
you ask me for forgiveness.
You are wonderful, tender...
984
01:04:13,487 --> 01:04:15,125
Not at all! Quite the contrary.
985
01:04:16,247 --> 01:04:19,125
My jealousy, that I've kept hidden
for 5 weeks, erupts
986
01:04:19,287 --> 01:04:23,803
in a scene where I say all the idiotic
things I've vowed to never...
987
01:04:24,447 --> 01:04:26,756
Now it turns out that I am much more
jealous than you are!
988
01:04:27,367 --> 01:04:32,122
I start to rage over your beautiful and
charming wife that has just visited you.
989
01:04:32,487 --> 01:04:34,762
You didn't know that I knew and you are
totally at a loss of words!
990
01:04:34,927 --> 01:04:37,566
You know me badly. I was not mute at all!
991
01:04:37,727 --> 01:04:41,083
I offer you to end the affair.
992
01:04:41,927 --> 01:04:44,919
I claim that I am too old for your
childish fuss,
993
01:04:45,087 --> 01:04:48,397
and cover myself in melancholic silence.
994
01:04:48,887 --> 01:04:51,321
It makes you unsure and
your exit faltered.
995
01:04:52,367 --> 01:04:54,722
For the first time, you see that I am surly,
996
01:04:54,887 --> 01:04:57,685
old and quite ridiculous.
997
01:04:58,367 --> 01:05:01,837
You're about to execute me and you raise
your knife to sting me down.
998
01:05:02,007 --> 01:05:04,123
- But you stop yourself.
- Oh yes, Henrik!
999
01:05:04,727 --> 01:05:08,322
I am struck by motherly instincts.
1000
01:05:08,967 --> 01:05:11,606
Motherly instincts?
Not at all!
1001
01:05:12,847 --> 01:05:14,565
You think about your part.
1002
01:05:15,207 --> 01:05:19,962
"What will he be like if I destroy our
relations? He might get back at me!"
1003
01:05:20,127 --> 01:05:22,687
"What will the friends say?
What a malicious pleasure!"
1004
01:05:22,847 --> 01:05:25,600
You begrudge the friends that delight.
1005
01:05:26,887 --> 01:05:30,926
No, first premiиre.
Then ending.
1006
01:05:31,767 --> 01:05:35,203
You lower the fatal dagger and start
to cry.
1007
01:05:36,167 --> 01:05:38,886
I misunderstood your tears and try
to console you...
1008
01:05:39,247 --> 01:05:41,636
we end up in bed, an illusion of
reconciliation, et cetera...
1009
01:05:41,807 --> 01:05:43,126
You are mean!
1010
01:05:43,327 --> 01:05:45,158
The last week is distressing.
1011
01:05:46,007 --> 01:05:50,876
We try to excuse ourselves. Nobody listens,
and we have hopeless monologues.
1012
01:05:51,127 --> 01:05:52,879
The temperature rises.
1013
01:05:53,287 --> 01:05:56,916
Dress rehearsal, lighting,
costumes, masks...
1014
01:05:57,087 --> 01:05:59,362
I feel inadequate!
1015
01:06:00,087 --> 01:06:03,079
I want to be the part that
you'd never forget,
1016
01:06:04,127 --> 01:06:07,881
that would make it impossible for you
to return to "A Dream Play".
1017
01:06:09,207 --> 01:06:13,723
I understand that you are planning
another production with another actress.
1018
01:06:13,887 --> 01:06:16,196
- You never know.
- There you go!
1019
01:06:16,807 --> 01:06:18,126
I often cry.
1020
01:06:18,847 --> 01:06:23,079
You are tender and treat me as if I'd
been struck by a deadly disease.
1021
01:06:23,847 --> 01:06:25,166
But you retreat...
1022
01:06:25,327 --> 01:06:28,524
I am separating from the play,
it is hell every time.
1023
01:06:29,527 --> 01:06:30,198
And I am separating from you.
1024
01:06:31,127 --> 01:06:35,643
Then comes our last night together.
After the dress rehearsal.
1025
01:06:37,087 --> 01:06:41,205
We have some glasses of wine and
our emotions captivate us.
1026
01:06:41,807 --> 01:06:45,880
We hear ourselves speak of the future.
Other plans.
1027
01:06:46,647 --> 01:06:48,126
We talk about marriage!
1028
01:06:48,847 --> 01:06:50,405
That we should have kids!
1029
01:06:50,687 --> 01:06:53,155
We remind ourselves of long lasting
marriages!
1030
01:06:53,967 --> 01:06:57,243
All is sad... and almost over.
1031
01:06:57,807 --> 01:06:59,525
Something that is awkwardly obvious.
1032
01:07:06,487 --> 01:07:08,603
- And when we meet?
- Friendly.
1033
01:07:09,807 --> 01:07:11,843
Johan is also involved...
1034
01:07:12,767 --> 01:07:16,760
The three of us have dinner and talk about
the miserable state of the theatre.
1035
01:07:22,967 --> 01:07:23,877
That's what was supposed to happen!
1036
01:07:27,207 --> 01:07:28,959
Was it so absurd?
1037
01:07:32,687 --> 01:07:33,756
No...
1038
01:07:36,087 --> 01:07:37,406
No, it wasn't.
1039
01:07:59,327 --> 01:08:01,045
This conversation made me sad.
1040
01:08:02,687 --> 01:08:03,437
Really?
1041
01:08:04,127 --> 01:08:05,765
You're not looking at me.
1042
01:08:06,807 --> 01:08:08,081
Look at me!
1043
01:08:09,807 --> 01:08:11,126
I'm looking at you.
1044
01:08:11,607 --> 01:08:13,996
Damn! I've forgotten my rehearsals
at the radio.
1045
01:08:14,527 --> 01:08:16,006
It was 3:30 pm!
1046
01:08:16,167 --> 01:08:18,727
Blame me. Tell them that Vogler
kept you hanging.
1047
01:08:18,887 --> 01:08:21,355
- Not a bad idea!
- Everyone will buy it.
1048
01:08:21,527 --> 01:08:23,518
I'll call and say I'm coming.
1049
01:08:26,807 --> 01:08:28,320
I'm staying here a while.
1050
01:08:29,327 --> 01:08:30,806
Can you hear the church bells?
1051
01:08:31,847 --> 01:08:35,601
No. My hearing is getting bad.
1052
01:08:36,047 --> 01:08:37,526
Couldn't you tell during rehearsals?
1053
01:08:37,687 --> 01:08:40,042
A little, perhaps... no, I haven't.
1054
01:08:40,647 --> 01:08:41,557
Go and call them.
1055
01:08:45,287 --> 01:08:47,198
I don't want you to be sad.
1056
01:08:47,727 --> 01:08:49,638
My sadness has nothing to do with you.
1057
01:08:50,247 --> 01:08:51,726
- You sure?
- I'm sure!
1058
01:08:52,407 --> 01:08:54,045
I'll go and call them then,
1059
01:08:54,687 --> 01:08:57,281
even though it's terribly unpleasant...
1060
01:08:58,127 --> 01:09:01,563
<i>What worried me the most
in this moment,</i>
1061
01:09:01,727 --> 01:09:04,844
<i>was probably that I couldn't/i>
hear the church bells.</i>
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