|
103
00:00:43,600 --> 00:00:46,922
<i>ALEXANDER: My parents
say there's no such thing as a bad day.</i>
104
00:00:46,960 --> 00:00:49,361
<i>That it's all how you look at it.</i>
105
00:00:49,440 --> 00:00:51,886
<i>What can I tell you? Parents.</i>
106
00:00:53,080 --> 00:00:54,320
<i>Here is what I know.</i>
107
00:00:54,960 --> 00:00:56,803
<i>They're wrong.</i>
108
00:00:56,880 --> 00:01:01,169
<i>My name is Alexander,
and I'm the expert in bad days.</i>
109
00:01:01,200 --> 00:01:05,330
<i>This guy knows what I'm talking about.
That's not coming off.</i>
110
00:01:05,400 --> 00:01:09,246
<i>Did I mention my dad
is a relentless optimist?</i>
111
00:01:09,320 --> 00:01:10,606
We're in the home stretch.
112
00:01:10,640 --> 00:01:11,641
<i>And look at Mom.</i>
113
00:01:11,720 --> 00:01:14,451
<i>She's not fooling anyone
with that "Mom smile."</i>
114
00:01:18,000 --> 00:01:20,810
<i>Believe it or not,
by the time we got home...</i>
115
00:01:20,840 --> 00:01:23,161
<i>this van was in better
shape than we were.</i>
116
00:01:24,880 --> 00:01:27,087
<i>There's my sister Emily, the actress.</i>
117
00:01:27,160 --> 00:01:28,366
(RETCHING)
118
00:01:28,480 --> 00:01:29,481
(COUGHS)
119
00:01:29,520 --> 00:01:32,091
<i>Always ready to take a bow.</i>
120
00:01:32,160 --> 00:01:37,371
<i>Anthony, my brother, a total winner
with a great sense of style.</i>
121
00:01:37,440 --> 00:01:38,521
(CRYING)
122
00:01:38,560 --> 00:01:40,130
<i>And baby Trevor.</i>
123
00:01:40,200 --> 00:01:43,682
<i>Sorry, pal.
Definitely not coming off.</i>
124
00:01:43,760 --> 00:01:48,368
<i>Bottom line, today was an epic disaster.
The worst day possible.</i>
125
00:01:48,440 --> 00:01:50,647
<i>Everyone in my family would agree.</i>
126
00:01:50,680 --> 00:01:54,002
<i>But what they don't know,
is it was all my fault.</i>
127
00:01:54,040 --> 00:01:55,963
<i>And it wasn't over yet.</i>
128
00:01:56,040 --> 00:01:58,042
- (ANIMAL HISSING)
- (ALL SCREAMING)
129
00:02:25,560 --> 00:02:27,324
(DIDGERIDOO BLARING)
130
00:02:29,080 --> 00:02:30,570
You overslept, bud.
131
00:02:30,600 --> 00:02:31,965
Don't blow my didgeridoo!
132
00:02:32,040 --> 00:02:34,008
What's it for, then?
133
00:02:35,000 --> 00:02:36,206
(DOOR CLOSES)
134
00:02:38,760 --> 00:02:39,761
(GROANS)
135
00:02:43,000 --> 00:02:44,161
(COMPUTER BEEPS)
136
00:02:47,520 --> 00:02:50,922
MALE VOICE: <i>You're invited!
Philip Parker turning 12.</i>
137
00:02:52,080 --> 00:02:53,081
Tomorrow night?
138
00:02:54,440 --> 00:02:55,771
No!
139
00:02:55,800 --> 00:02:57,450
He's the trick to... Good morning!
140
00:02:57,520 --> 00:02:59,329
Oh! There she is!
141
00:02:59,400 --> 00:03:02,290
You are going to be so impressed.
142
00:03:02,360 --> 00:03:04,283
I made what is known as...
143
00:03:04,360 --> 00:03:07,284
the crustless quiche, the frittata.
144
00:03:07,320 --> 00:03:08,765
Wow. What is this?
145
00:03:08,840 --> 00:03:11,446
Two months ago, you couldn't even
grill cheese, and now...
146
00:03:11,520 --> 00:03:13,682
Oh, that looks so good.
147
00:03:13,760 --> 00:03:16,684
- Oh.
- Mmm. Egg and cheese.
148
00:03:16,760 --> 00:03:17,966
(LAUGHS) Excellent.
149
00:03:18,080 --> 00:03:19,286
Thank you.
150
00:03:19,320 --> 00:03:21,846
So, what are you gentlemen up to today?
151
00:03:21,920 --> 00:03:22,921
Well, let's see.
152
00:03:22,960 --> 00:03:25,167
Em has a dentist appointment
this morning...
153
00:03:25,240 --> 00:03:26,287
Right, right.
154
00:03:26,320 --> 00:03:28,721
And then the two of us
are going to Mommy and Me Yoga.
155
00:03:28,800 --> 00:03:30,211
- Oh, with Summer?
- Yes.
156
00:03:30,280 --> 00:03:31,566
Will you tell her I still exist?
157
00:03:31,640 --> 00:03:34,086
I will. And then when he takes his nap,
158
00:03:34,120 --> 00:03:35,645
I'm gonna send out some resumes.
159
00:03:35,720 --> 00:03:36,801
Good.
160
00:03:36,880 --> 00:03:39,406
What a to-do to die today
at a minute or two to two.
161
00:03:39,480 --> 00:03:41,482
A thing distinctly hard to say
but harder still to do.
162
00:03:41,520 --> 00:03:44,251
We'll beat a tattoo at a minute or two
and a rat-tat-tat-tat-tat-tattoo...
163
00:03:44,320 --> 00:03:45,481
and the dragon will come
to the beat of the drum
164
00:03:45,520 --> 00:03:46,646
at a minute or two to two today...
165
00:03:46,720 --> 00:03:47,801
at a minute or two to two.
166
00:03:47,840 --> 00:03:49,649
- I need to pee.
- You have gum in your hair.
167
00:03:49,680 --> 00:03:51,762
A big black bug bit a big black bear...
168
00:03:51,800 --> 00:03:52,961
No!
169
00:03:53,000 --> 00:03:54,729
(GRUNTS)
170
00:04:00,560 --> 00:04:04,007
BEN: Anthony! Alexander!
Accelerate. Come on!
171
00:04:04,040 --> 00:04:05,405
One minute!
172
00:04:07,000 --> 00:04:08,889
Hey, if it ain't broke, right?
173
00:04:14,360 --> 00:04:15,441
Guess what?
174
00:04:15,520 --> 00:04:18,251
Philip Parker's having
his birthday party tomorrow night.
175
00:04:18,360 --> 00:04:19,361
That's when
you're having your birthday party.
176
00:04:19,400 --> 00:04:21,368
I know! And I just got the invitation.
177
00:04:21,400 --> 00:04:23,164
He's going all-out, Dad.
178
00:04:23,240 --> 00:04:25,004
He's getting an energy drink bar,
179
00:04:25,080 --> 00:04:27,606
a Korean taco truck, a live band.
180
00:04:27,680 --> 00:04:28,681
That sounds legit.
181
00:04:28,720 --> 00:04:30,802
I think he's having black lights
and a karaoke machine.
182
00:04:30,840 --> 00:04:32,046
Oh, I love karaoke parties.
183
00:04:32,360 --> 00:04:34,089
Look, can I compete with all of that?
184
00:04:35,520 --> 00:04:37,887
Oh, come on,
your birthday's gonna be great.
185
00:04:37,960 --> 00:04:41,282
It's gonna be fun. We're gonna have
pizza. I'm gonna make a cake.
186
00:04:41,360 --> 00:04:43,124
Maybe some volleyball in the pool.
187
00:04:43,200 --> 00:04:45,851
Philip Parker's having a fog machine
and we're having pizza?
188
00:04:45,880 --> 00:04:47,325
- BEN: Don't worry.
- You're drinking coffee?
189
00:04:47,360 --> 00:04:48,361
ALEXANDER: What about my party?
190
00:04:48,440 --> 00:04:49,487
Since when did
you start drinking coffee?
191
00:04:49,520 --> 00:04:50,851
I'm not a morning person.
192
00:04:50,920 --> 00:04:51,967
(TREVOR CRYING)
193
00:04:52,040 --> 00:04:53,929
- Can you check his diaper?
- Oh.
194
00:04:54,000 --> 00:04:55,206
You just dropped Bumble Bee.
195
00:04:55,240 --> 00:04:57,160
- You drop Bumble Bee?
- I think he might be wet.
196
00:04:57,200 --> 00:04:59,168
No. Bumble Bee. There you go.
197
00:04:59,200 --> 00:05:00,247
ANTHONY: Wish I could be there, bro,
198
00:05:00,360 --> 00:05:01,566
but I got prom tomorrow night.
199
00:05:01,600 --> 00:05:02,761
I thought that was next week.
200
00:05:02,840 --> 00:05:03,841
It is what it is.
201
00:05:03,880 --> 00:05:06,201
I'll probably be wiped out
from my <i>Peter</i> Pan premiere...
202
00:05:06,240 --> 00:05:07,844
but I'll be happy to sing for you
and all of your friends.
203
00:05:07,880 --> 00:05:08,881
Oh! No, no, no.
204
00:05:08,960 --> 00:05:09,961
EMILY: (SINGING)
<i>Think of</i> a wonderful thought...
205
00:05:10,040 --> 00:05:12,566
- (CAR HORN BLARING)
- Oh, probably Mrs. Gibson. Okay.
206
00:05:13,240 --> 00:05:14,730
Honey, Dad's taking Emily to the dentist.
207
00:05:14,760 --> 00:05:16,330
I've got Anthony. So you're in carpool.
208
00:05:16,400 --> 00:05:18,721
- Take a frittata. It's a crustless quiche.
- There you go.
209
00:05:18,760 --> 00:05:20,171
What did you do to your hair?
210
00:05:20,240 --> 00:05:21,480
Oh, nothing.
211
00:05:21,560 --> 00:05:24,564
Say hi to Mrs. Gibson!
Remember your manners.
212
00:05:31,880 --> 00:05:33,689
Hi, Becky!
213
00:05:34,080 --> 00:05:35,684
Hey, Alexander.
214
00:05:43,080 --> 00:05:44,081
(GRUNTS)
215
00:05:45,040 --> 00:05:46,610
Oh, are you okay?
216
00:05:47,360 --> 00:05:50,204
- Yeah. Yeah, I'm fine.
- (HORN BLARING)
217
00:05:50,280 --> 00:05:51,361
Let's go, kids.
218
00:05:51,680 --> 00:05:54,923
<i>(SINGING) And so I cry sometimes
when I'm lying in bed</i>
219
00:05:55,040 --> 00:05:58,601
<i>Just to get it all out, what's in my head</i>
220
00:05:58,680 --> 00:06:03,481
<i>And I, I am feeling a little peculiar...</i>
221
00:06:05,080 --> 00:06:06,889
<i>Lord of the Flies?</i>
222
00:06:08,960 --> 00:06:10,450
Pretty scary, right?
223
00:06:11,320 --> 00:06:13,846
<i>Lord of the Flies is beautiful, Alexander.</i>
224
00:06:13,920 --> 00:06:15,445
It's a deep and meaningful allegory
225
00:06:15,520 --> 00:06:17,488
about our own messed-up society.
226
00:06:17,520 --> 00:06:18,601
Yeah, totally.
227
00:06:18,640 --> 00:06:20,404
That's what I meant with "scary."
228
00:06:20,480 --> 00:06:23,131
The society stuff. Crazy.
229
00:06:23,960 --> 00:06:25,803
- Hey, check out this app.
- (CAMERA CLICKS)
230
00:06:25,880 --> 00:06:28,326
He puts your face on
some bikini model's body.
231
00:06:28,360 --> 00:06:29,930
- It's really gross and sexist.
- (CHUCKLES)
232
00:06:29,960 --> 00:06:31,291
This is gonna be hilarious.
233
00:06:31,320 --> 00:06:32,810
- What are you doing?
- Wait, hold on!
234
00:06:32,880 --> 00:06:34,000
- No, no, no.
- I'm not done.
235
00:06:35,320 --> 00:06:36,321
ANTHONY: Hey, babe.
236
00:06:38,640 --> 00:06:42,440
Is everything okay?
Your last text was so cold.
237
00:06:42,800 --> 00:06:45,531
No, I said, "See you at school"?
238
00:06:45,600 --> 00:06:46,601
(SCOFFS)
239
00:06:46,640 --> 00:06:48,688
Yeah. I'm your girlfriend, Anthony.
240
00:06:48,800 --> 00:06:52,282
You really should end your texts
with "x-o-x-o" or "I heart you."
241
00:06:52,320 --> 00:06:55,688
You can make a heart
with the less-than sign and a three.
242
00:06:55,720 --> 00:06:57,848
Yeah, I'll try to remember.
243
00:06:57,880 --> 00:07:01,123
So, a bunch of the girls were talking,
and they're all going in limos.
244
00:07:01,160 --> 00:07:03,128
We are getting a limo tomorrow, right?
245
00:07:03,160 --> 00:07:05,640
No, I am taking
my driver's test tomorrow, babe.
246
00:07:05,680 --> 00:07:07,489
The first thing I wanna
do as a licensed driver
247
00:07:07,520 --> 00:07:09,363
is chauffeur you to the prom.
248
00:07:09,400 --> 00:07:11,209
It'll be romantic and stuff.
249
00:07:12,840 --> 00:07:15,161
Oh. Well, I do want it to be romantic.
250
00:07:15,200 --> 00:07:16,440
It Will be.
251
00:07:16,840 --> 00:07:19,207
Oh. Also, I have it
from a very good source who says...
252
00:07:19,280 --> 00:07:20,850
we're being crowned Duke and Duchess
253
00:07:20,880 --> 00:07:22,689
at the Royal Court
tomorrow night at prom.
254
00:07:22,720 --> 00:07:25,200
- That's so tight!
- I know. Isn't it like the best thing ever?
255
00:07:25,520 --> 00:07:27,522
ALEXANDER: This is
the worst thing ever.
256
00:07:27,560 --> 00:07:28,971
PAUL: These look so real.
257
00:07:29,040 --> 00:07:31,725
I can't believe
Elliot text-bombed the whole school.
258
00:07:31,800 --> 00:07:33,802
Don't worry about it, man.
Elliot's an idiot.
259
00:07:33,880 --> 00:07:35,405
No one's even gonna look at these.
260
00:07:35,480 --> 00:07:36,606
(LAUGHTER)
261
00:07:42,880 --> 00:07:44,120
Hey, Paul.
262
00:07:44,200 --> 00:07:45,406
Philip, my man.
263
00:07:45,440 --> 00:07:46,805
Nice boobs, Alexander.
264
00:07:46,880 --> 00:07:48,120
(LAUGHTER CONTINUES)
265
00:07:50,920 --> 00:07:52,649
Since when are you friends
with Philip Parker?
266
00:07:52,720 --> 00:07:54,768
We go to the same
psychopharmacologist.
267
00:07:54,840 --> 00:07:57,844
He's got ADHD, too. He's super nice.
268
00:07:57,880 --> 00:07:58,881
No, he's not.
269
00:07:58,960 --> 00:08:02,169
He's throwing a huge party tomorrow,
and it's not even his actual birthday.
270
00:08:02,240 --> 00:08:03,924
His is next week.
271
00:08:04,000 --> 00:08:06,287
You realize it's just gonna
be you and me at my party.
272
00:08:06,360 --> 00:08:08,681
- Actually, it might just be you.
- What?
273
00:08:09,920 --> 00:08:11,684
You've gotta come.
You're my best friend.
274
00:08:11,760 --> 00:08:15,890
Okay, but personally,
I think you should just postpone.
275
00:08:15,920 --> 00:08:18,605
Philip's popular
and everybody's gonna be there.
276
00:08:18,640 --> 00:08:20,130
Plus, his party sounds pretty dope.
277
00:08:20,200 --> 00:08:22,680
Dude, last year
your dad tap-danced with a cane.
278
00:08:23,200 --> 00:08:25,328
Another bad party could
ruin your rep forever.
279
00:08:25,920 --> 00:08:27,843
Your dad's a nice guy, but trust me...
280
00:08:27,920 --> 00:08:30,127
you do not want
your entire social life in his hands.
281
00:08:32,160 --> 00:08:33,366
Whoo!
282
00:08:33,440 --> 00:08:34,680
INSTRUCTOR: Great job!
283
00:08:34,760 --> 00:08:36,524
- Whoo!
- Yeah!
284
00:08:36,600 --> 00:08:39,809
Breathe. You gave birth.
You can do this.
285
00:08:39,880 --> 00:08:42,281
Two. One.
286
00:08:42,360 --> 00:08:46,604
Take your baby back to the womb.
They love it there.
287
00:08:51,280 --> 00:08:54,966
I think that it's so cool when a guy can
step up to be a full-time fommy.
288
00:08:55,600 --> 00:08:56,601
A what?
289
00:08:57,040 --> 00:08:58,121
A father-mommy.
290
00:08:58,280 --> 00:08:59,964
Oh! Okay.
291
00:09:00,040 --> 00:09:02,646
Um, yeah,
I guess I'm sort of a fommy by default.
292
00:09:03,280 --> 00:09:06,443
I was in aerospace,
and I got transitioned out of my job.
293
00:09:06,480 --> 00:09:07,527
Oh, I'm sorry.
294
00:09:07,600 --> 00:09:09,364
No, that's okay. I get to spend
more time with this little guy.
295
00:09:09,440 --> 00:09:10,566
(CELLPHONE VIBRATES)
296
00:09:10,640 --> 00:09:11,641
Excuse me.
297
00:09:12,480 --> 00:09:14,164
Hello?
298
00:09:14,280 --> 00:09:15,850
Yes, this is Ben Cooper.
299
00:09:16,800 --> 00:09:18,404
Tomorrow?
300
00:09:18,480 --> 00:09:19,925
Yes, that's good.
301
00:09:20,800 --> 00:09:22,529
Okay, I'll see you then.
302
00:09:22,600 --> 00:09:24,443
I look forward to it, Greg. Bye-bye.
303
00:09:24,840 --> 00:09:26,080
Good news?
304
00:09:26,560 --> 00:09:28,050
Yeah! I landed an interview.
305
00:09:28,120 --> 00:09:29,485
Hey! That's great.
306
00:09:29,560 --> 00:09:32,166
What do you think of that?
What do you think of that?
307
00:09:32,240 --> 00:09:35,244
Fommy just landed an interview.
308
00:09:35,320 --> 00:09:36,446
Fommy.
309
00:09:38,000 --> 00:09:39,161
Did you hear him say that?
310
00:09:39,240 --> 00:09:40,241
Yes!
311
00:09:40,320 --> 00:09:41,446
He just said Fommy!
312
00:09:41,480 --> 00:09:43,323
- You just said my name!
- WOMEN: Aw!
313
00:09:43,400 --> 00:09:46,051
Guys, he just said Fommy.
Did you hear him say Fommy?
314
00:09:46,120 --> 00:09:47,326
I'm Fommy. Fommy!
315
00:09:47,440 --> 00:09:48,646
That was so cool.
316
00:09:48,680 --> 00:09:50,842
It's so adorable!
317
00:09:50,920 --> 00:09:53,161
I am Fommy, and he said it.
318
00:09:53,240 --> 00:09:55,322
So, with our celebrity readings,
319
00:09:55,360 --> 00:09:57,442
our great grassroots
marketing campaign...
320
00:09:57,520 --> 00:09:58,567
Thank you, Julie...
321
00:09:58,640 --> 00:10:00,404
and the positive reviews
we have coming in...
322
00:10:00,480 --> 00:10:03,882
we are poised for a really strong roll-out.
323
00:10:03,960 --> 00:10:06,440
Tomorrow, we are
going to ask America...
324
00:10:06,520 --> 00:10:08,727
"Who is ready to jump on the potty?"
325
00:10:08,800 --> 00:10:13,124
And I'm confident our sales are going
to leap over expectations.
326
00:10:13,200 --> 00:10:14,804
I know I would have
appreciated this book
327
00:10:14,880 --> 00:10:16,882
when I was potty-training my kids!
328
00:10:16,920 --> 00:10:18,331
That's Alexander, my son.
329
00:10:18,360 --> 00:10:19,566
(APPLAUSE)
330
00:10:19,680 --> 00:10:20,806
KELLY: Thank you, guys!
331
00:10:20,880 --> 00:10:22,962
Thank you for all your support with this.
332
00:10:26,000 --> 00:10:27,889
Oh, man. (SIGHS)
333
00:10:27,960 --> 00:10:30,008
I hope that was
thorough enough for you, Nina.
334
00:10:30,040 --> 00:10:32,202
Well, I'm going to need you to make
335
00:10:32,280 --> 00:10:34,521
an incredible effort
on "the Potty" tomorrow.
336
00:10:34,560 --> 00:10:36,005
(CHUCKLES) On "the Potty."
337
00:10:36,040 --> 00:10:38,486
- What?
- You can count on me.
338
00:10:38,560 --> 00:10:42,281
Good. Because if this goes well,
I'm going to make you VP.
339
00:10:42,360 --> 00:10:43,407
Really?
340
00:10:43,440 --> 00:10:45,488
Have you run
Children's Lit and Young Adult.
341
00:10:45,560 --> 00:10:47,210
Oh! Thank you!
342
00:10:47,240 --> 00:10:48,526
Thank you.
343
00:10:49,360 --> 00:10:51,169
I'm going to need you
344
00:10:51,240 --> 00:10:53,641
every second of every minute
of every day.
345
00:10:53,720 --> 00:10:55,927
- Got it.
- 24/7, 365.
346
00:10:55,960 --> 00:10:57,246
That's a lot of numbers.
347
00:10:57,320 --> 00:10:58,321
Is that a joke?
348
00:10:58,800 --> 00:11:02,247
I have four kids that I'll just have
to carve out a little time to see.
349
00:11:02,280 --> 00:11:04,965
Right, right, of course.
Of course you will.
350
00:11:05,040 --> 00:11:07,042
Isn't that one of
your darling little babies right there?
351
00:11:07,080 --> 00:11:08,161
Yeah, it is.
352
00:11:09,040 --> 00:11:11,042
So you're seeing him right now.
353
00:11:11,080 --> 00:11:12,605
All right, country reports.
354
00:11:12,640 --> 00:11:16,042
As you all know,
this is your big project this semester.
355
00:11:16,080 --> 00:11:17,320
- So, what I think...
- Mr. Rogue?
356
00:11:17,400 --> 00:11:18,925
Yeah, Alexander.
357
00:11:19,000 --> 00:11:20,445
I would like to take Australia.
358
00:11:20,520 --> 00:11:22,443
I know a ton about it.
359
00:11:22,480 --> 00:11:24,482
And I have my own didgeridoo.
360
00:11:24,560 --> 00:11:28,804
Yeah, I'm sure there a lot of students
here who want Australia. Am I right?
361
00:11:33,840 --> 00:11:36,081
So to be fair, this semester...
362
00:11:37,480 --> 00:11:40,290
I'm going to let the globe
decide what country.
363
00:11:40,360 --> 00:11:41,441
We'll start with you, Alexander.
364
00:11:41,520 --> 00:11:42,806
You ready? Here we go.
365
00:11:43,160 --> 00:11:44,446
Australia. Australia. Australia.
366
00:11:44,520 --> 00:11:45,931
What will it be?
367
00:11:46,480 --> 00:11:48,209
Ha! Djibouti.
368
00:11:48,280 --> 00:11:51,602
Look at that, the Horn of Africa!
All right, Djibouti!
369
00:11:51,640 --> 00:11:52,846
Dji... what?
370
00:11:52,920 --> 00:11:55,844
Who's gonna be next here?
Philip Parker. Here we go.
371
00:11:58,600 --> 00:11:59,681
Australia.
372
00:11:59,760 --> 00:12:01,808
So, like,
Arnold Schwarzenegger and stuff?
373
00:12:01,880 --> 00:12:03,325
That's Austria, not Australia.
374
00:12:03,360 --> 00:12:04,805
- Can we switch?
- No.
375
00:12:04,840 --> 00:12:06,922
Okay, Albert Morio.
376
00:12:09,120 --> 00:12:11,282
Lebanon. That's good.
377
00:12:11,320 --> 00:12:13,004
(BELL RINGING)
378
00:12:13,040 --> 00:12:16,806
MALE TEACHER: Partner up,
everybody! Get your aprons on. Guys.
379
00:12:18,680 --> 00:12:19,681
Uh, Becky...
380
00:12:19,800 --> 00:12:21,643
do you want to partner?
381
00:12:21,760 --> 00:12:24,604
Okay. You can take lab notes.
382
00:12:25,600 --> 00:12:27,728
.5 milligrams of boron.
383
00:12:28,760 --> 00:12:31,331
Boron... Boring!
384
00:12:35,840 --> 00:12:38,446
So, Becky, I'm having
a birthday party tomorrow night.
385
00:12:39,240 --> 00:12:41,561
It was only gonna be guys, but I can...
386
00:12:41,640 --> 00:12:45,008
Oh, thanks, but I'm going
to Philip Parker's party tomorrow night.
387
00:12:45,040 --> 00:12:46,849
I think everyone is.
388
00:12:46,920 --> 00:12:49,526
He has a frozen yogurt machine
and a trampoline.
389
00:12:49,880 --> 00:12:51,609
So do we!
390
00:12:51,680 --> 00:12:54,331
We have a frozen yogurt machine
and a trampoline.
391
00:12:54,960 --> 00:12:56,450
- Oh, my God!
- Well, yeah...
392
00:12:56,520 --> 00:12:57,726
My lab book!
393
00:12:57,800 --> 00:12:59,848
- (EXCLAIMS)
- Put it out!
394
00:12:59,880 --> 00:13:00,881
(ALL SCREAMING)
395
00:13:02,440 --> 00:13:03,441
(GASPS)
396
00:13:03,920 --> 00:13:04,921
Put it out!
397
00:13:14,560 --> 00:13:15,925
Who's responsible for this?
398
00:13:16,000 --> 00:13:17,081
ALL: Alexander!
399
00:13:24,160 --> 00:13:25,924
Hey, Alexander! Hold up.
400
00:13:26,000 --> 00:13:27,650
Hey, hold up!
401
00:13:27,720 --> 00:13:29,609
I'm leaving for a conference
402
00:13:29,680 --> 00:13:31,762
and nobody signed up
to take Melvin home.
403
00:13:31,840 --> 00:13:33,683
I can't leave him alone all weekend.
404
00:13:34,560 --> 00:13:36,050
So, what do you want me to do?
405
00:13:36,080 --> 00:13:39,084
Well, you'll make
a furry friend a little less lonely.
406
00:13:56,400 --> 00:13:57,811
Unbelievable.
407
00:14:06,480 --> 00:14:07,481
(HONKING)
408
00:14:09,800 --> 00:14:11,040
(CHUCKLES)
409
00:14:11,120 --> 00:14:13,327
Cool, we're hosting a guinea pig.
410
00:14:13,400 --> 00:14:14,481
All right!
411
00:14:16,400 --> 00:14:17,401
Sorry we're late.
412
00:14:17,440 --> 00:14:19,442
We had a little
diaper trauma at Trader Joe's.
413
00:14:19,520 --> 00:14:20,521
(DOOR CLOSES)
414
00:14:20,600 --> 00:14:21,601
BEN: Hello!
415
00:14:21,640 --> 00:14:23,210
- Hi!
- ALEXANDER: Hi, Mom.
416
00:14:23,280 --> 00:14:25,282
There's my big boy. Hi!
417
00:14:26,240 --> 00:14:28,163
There you are. Hi, big guy.
418
00:14:30,520 --> 00:14:32,124
- What is that?
- Melvin.
419
00:14:32,200 --> 00:14:33,281
BEN: We're hosting
Melvin this weekend.
420
00:14:33,360 --> 00:14:34,361
KELLY: Oh, boy.
421
00:14:34,440 --> 00:14:35,441
(YELLS)
422
00:14:36,960 --> 00:14:39,122
Alexander, would you grab that
and wash it off, please?
423
00:14:39,200 --> 00:14:41,123
He needs Bumble Bee like he needs air.
424
00:14:41,200 --> 00:14:42,201
- (TREVOR CRYING)
- I know, honey pie.
425
00:14:42,280 --> 00:14:44,567
And after that, the pig goes upstairs.
426
00:14:44,640 --> 00:14:45,801
- (CRYING CONTINUES)
- BEN: Shh, it's okay.
427
00:14:45,880 --> 00:14:48,804
KELLY: Bumble Bee's
just getting a bath. It will be right back.
428
00:14:48,840 --> 00:14:51,207
Alexander, we could use Bumble Bee.
429
00:14:51,520 --> 00:14:56,287
Bumble Bee is coming right back,
right back, right back any second.
430
00:14:58,400 --> 00:14:59,401
Oh! Dad, don't!
431
00:15:00,080 --> 00:15:01,241
(WASTE DISPOSAL WHIRRING)
432
00:15:01,360 --> 00:15:02,521
Whoa! Whoa! Whoa!
433
00:15:02,600 --> 00:15:05,524
What was that?
434
00:15:08,760 --> 00:15:09,886
(SIGHS)
435
00:15:13,200 --> 00:15:15,009
Honey, Bumble Bee's gone.
436
00:15:15,320 --> 00:15:17,243
<i>Peter</i> Pan is going to be awesome.
437
00:15:17,320 --> 00:15:21,689
Today, Mr. Brand said that I am the most
poised and elegant Peter Pan...
438
00:15:21,720 --> 00:15:23,324
he's ever had
the privilege of working with.
439
00:15:23,440 --> 00:15:26,250
No way! Wow.
When is that, again? Just remind me.
440
00:15:26,360 --> 00:15:29,011
- Mom, hello! It's tomorrow afternoon!
- Of course.
441
00:15:29,040 --> 00:15:31,088
Please be on time
and don't be embarrassing.
442
00:15:31,200 --> 00:15:32,247
Best behavior.
443
00:15:32,320 --> 00:15:33,890
Honey, please don't
embarrass our daughter.
444
00:15:33,960 --> 00:15:35,485
- Dad, that includes you.
- BEN: I know.
445
00:15:35,520 --> 00:15:37,090
I'll be there, honey, don't worry.
446
00:15:37,160 --> 00:15:39,049
ANTHONY: Guess who's getting
crowned Duke at the prom tomorrow.
447
00:15:39,120 --> 00:15:40,690
Really? Congratulations.
448
00:15:40,760 --> 00:15:44,207
Yeah, it's not official,
but Celia heard from a good source.
449
00:15:44,280 --> 00:15:45,406
It's kind of crazy.
450
00:15:45,480 --> 00:15:47,289
I'm dating the hottest girl in school...
451
00:15:47,360 --> 00:15:49,442
I'm getting crowned at prom,
and once I get my license tomorrow...
452
00:15:49,520 --> 00:15:52,364
I kind of have
everything I've ever wanted.
453
00:15:52,400 --> 00:15:54,528
- Hashtag blessed, you know.
- KELLY: Wait.
454
00:15:54,640 --> 00:15:56,608
Once you get your license tomorrow?
455
00:15:56,680 --> 00:15:58,045
I'm taking my test after school.
456
00:15:58,120 --> 00:15:59,167
Dad already said it was cool.
457
00:15:59,200 --> 00:16:00,326
You said it was cool?
458
00:16:00,360 --> 00:16:03,045
I said it was doable.
Not cool. I said it was doable.
459
00:16:03,120 --> 00:16:04,246
Okay.
460
00:16:04,320 --> 00:16:06,049
It will be fine. We'll make it.
461
00:16:06,120 --> 00:16:07,531
Okay, guys, I have some news.
462
00:16:08,160 --> 00:16:11,243
Nina said that
if the book launch goes well tomorrow...
463
00:16:11,280 --> 00:16:14,045
you could be looking at the new
Vice President of Lone Hill Press.
464
00:16:14,080 --> 00:16:15,161
Honey, wow!
465
00:16:15,880 --> 00:16:16,881
That's big.
466
00:16:16,960 --> 00:16:19,088
Yeah, it would
be a lot more hours at work...
467
00:16:19,120 --> 00:16:22,408
I already feel like I live there some days,
but the raise would be nice.
468
00:16:22,440 --> 00:16:24,761
Awesome. I have some news as well.
469
00:16:25,560 --> 00:16:29,281
I got a call today. I have an interview
for a game design firm.
470
00:16:29,360 --> 00:16:30,646
They're looking for engineers.
471
00:16:30,720 --> 00:16:32,484
- Wait, video games? Really?
- Yeah. Yeah.
472
00:16:32,560 --> 00:16:34,927
Your aerospace engineering dad
might be designing video games.
473
00:16:35,000 --> 00:16:36,764
- That's so cool.
- BEN: I know. I know.
474
00:16:36,840 --> 00:16:38,171
Oh!
475
00:16:38,240 --> 00:16:41,403
The best news of all...
Guess who spoke his first word today?
476
00:16:43,520 --> 00:16:44,521
Trevor.
477
00:16:44,600 --> 00:16:45,840
KELLY: No!
BEN: Yes.
478
00:16:45,920 --> 00:16:46,921
What did you say?
479
00:16:46,960 --> 00:16:48,405
EMILY: What was it?
480
00:16:48,440 --> 00:16:49,805
He said fommy.
481
00:16:49,880 --> 00:16:51,291
- He said fommy?
- Yeah.
482
00:16:51,320 --> 00:16:53,243
- What's that?
- Father-mommy.
483
00:16:53,720 --> 00:16:55,484
I didn't know that was a word.
484
00:16:55,560 --> 00:16:57,562
BEN: Wow,
we all had pretty big wins today.
485
00:16:57,600 --> 00:16:59,045
- Yeah.
- Yeah, tell me about it.
486
00:16:59,120 --> 00:17:00,167
I had a crap day.
487
00:17:00,240 --> 00:17:02,129
What is that smell?
488
00:17:02,480 --> 00:17:04,721
It's Vegemite.
It's from Australia, and back off!
489
00:17:04,760 --> 00:17:05,761
BEN: Hey, hey, hey!
490
00:17:05,840 --> 00:17:07,444
Easy. You're gonna have
a good day tomorrow.
491
00:17:07,480 --> 00:17:10,324
It's your birthday. You have friends
coming over, it's gonna be a great party.
492
00:17:10,400 --> 00:17:13,449
Actually, you can forget it,
because I'm canceling my party.
493
00:17:13,480 --> 00:17:14,970
- What are you talking about?
- Why?
494
00:17:15,040 --> 00:17:16,246
ALEXANDER: Nobody's coming.
495
00:17:16,720 --> 00:17:18,961
They're all going
to Philip Parker's party tomorrow night.
496
00:17:19,000 --> 00:17:20,206
Who is this Philip Parker?
497
00:17:20,280 --> 00:17:23,409
He's a really cool kid
with a hot tub and ADHD.
498
00:17:23,440 --> 00:17:25,488
- I'm gonna call his mom...
- ALEXANDER: No!
499
00:17:25,560 --> 00:17:28,609
No, no, no.
We're gonna forget about Philip Parker.
500
00:17:28,640 --> 00:17:30,927
Whoever comes to the party comes.
It's gonna be great.
501
00:17:30,960 --> 00:17:32,803
Trust me, nobody is coming.
502
00:17:32,880 --> 00:17:36,521
Elliot Gibson texted pictures of me
in a butt thong to everyone at school.
503
00:17:36,600 --> 00:17:39,365
My best friend
is suddenly best friends with Philip...
504
00:17:39,440 --> 00:17:42,205
because they go to the same
dumb psychopharmacologist.
505
00:17:42,280 --> 00:17:44,089
I didn't get Australia
for my school report...
506
00:17:44,160 --> 00:17:47,562
and I burned down the science lab
with Becky Gibson's lab notes.
507
00:17:47,640 --> 00:17:50,007
- What did you do?
- You burned down the science lab?
508
00:17:50,080 --> 00:17:52,003
Dude, big deal.
So things didn't go your way today.
509
00:17:52,080 --> 00:17:53,491
Go my way?
510
00:17:53,520 --> 00:17:55,045
It was a totally wrecked bad day.
511
00:17:55,120 --> 00:17:56,246
And it's not just today!
512
00:17:56,880 --> 00:17:58,928
It is every single day. Every day!
513
00:17:59,000 --> 00:18:01,970
You don't even care
because your lives are all so perfect!
514
00:18:02,000 --> 00:18:03,365
No, we care. We care, honey.
515
00:18:03,440 --> 00:18:05,249
- What?
- Sweetie.
516
00:18:05,320 --> 00:18:06,440
ANTHONY: Where's Bumble Bee?
517
00:18:06,520 --> 00:18:09,729
Alexander murdered it,
so now he's going to cry all night.
518
00:18:09,800 --> 00:18:11,211
- Can't you just get him a new one?
- BEN: No.
519
00:18:11,280 --> 00:18:13,203
It's only Bumble Bee.
It's the only one he likes.
520
00:18:13,320 --> 00:18:14,401
KELLY: It's gotta be Bumble Bee.
521
00:18:14,480 --> 00:18:15,561
EMILY: I can't deal with this.
522
00:18:15,640 --> 00:18:17,165
I'm going to rehearse in the car.
523
00:18:18,040 --> 00:18:20,725
Maybe this is the time
to wean him from the pacifier.
524
00:18:20,800 --> 00:18:22,006
Honey, easy for you to say.
525
00:18:22,040 --> 00:18:23,530
You're not here with him all day.
526
00:18:25,840 --> 00:18:29,765
<i>(SINGING) Think of</i> a <i>wonderful
thought
Any merry little thought</i>
527
00:18:29,840 --> 00:18:31,569
<i>Think of Christmas, think of snow</i>
528
00:18:31,640 --> 00:18:33,369
<i>Think of sleigh bells, off you go</i>
529
00:18:33,440 --> 00:18:35,488
<i>Like reindeer in the sky</i>
530
00:18:35,520 --> 00:18:39,684
<i>You can fly, you can fly
You can fly</i>
531
00:18:55,080 --> 00:18:56,161
Anthony?
532
00:18:57,280 --> 00:18:59,328
I feel like no one understands me.
533
00:18:59,880 --> 00:19:02,531
I do. l get you.
534
00:19:03,000 --> 00:19:04,331
You do?
535
00:19:05,960 --> 00:19:08,611
Yeah. Come on, you're amazing.
536
00:19:09,720 --> 00:19:10,721
Really?
537
00:19:11,560 --> 00:19:12,641
You think I'm amazing?
538
00:19:12,720 --> 00:19:16,042
Honestly, I love you so much.
539
00:19:18,880 --> 00:19:20,769
I love you, too.
540
00:19:21,960 --> 00:19:23,371
I love you more.
541
00:19:23,400 --> 00:19:24,401
(CHUCKLES)
542
00:19:24,480 --> 00:19:26,881
No, I love you more.
543
00:19:26,920 --> 00:19:29,651
And don't get me started
on that cute little butt of yours.
544
00:19:29,880 --> 00:19:30,881
What?
545
00:19:32,920 --> 00:19:33,921
What?
546
00:19:34,000 --> 00:19:35,161
Why are you "what" -ing me?
547
00:19:35,240 --> 00:19:36,446
What's your problem?
548
00:19:37,080 --> 00:19:39,208
<i>- Excuse me'?
- You know what? You're so annoying.</i>
549
00:19:39,280 --> 00:19:41,040
Why can't you just chill out?
For one second?
550
00:19:41,600 --> 00:19:42,806
You're exhausting.
551
00:19:42,880 --> 00:19:44,041
Are you kidding?
552
00:19:47,600 --> 00:19:49,602
Sorry, Celia. That was my idiot brother.
553
00:19:52,200 --> 00:19:53,611
Celia?
554
00:19:54,600 --> 00:19:55,931
Seriously?
555
00:19:58,600 --> 00:20:00,090
Now she won't pick up!
556
00:20:01,600 --> 00:20:03,443
I'm worried about Alexander.
557
00:20:03,480 --> 00:20:06,723
I mean, of all the years for
everyone to bail on his birthday.
558
00:20:09,080 --> 00:20:12,641
He's been so moody
since I had Trevor and started work.
559
00:20:12,680 --> 00:20:14,284
Don't worry about it. He's 12.
560
00:20:14,320 --> 00:20:15,685
Everybody's moody at that age.
561
00:20:15,760 --> 00:20:16,966
How's he already 12?
562
00:20:17,040 --> 00:20:18,849
I know. Just happened.
563
00:20:19,440 --> 00:20:22,489
That's the problem.
Everything is just happening so fast.
564
00:20:22,520 --> 00:20:23,521
Yeah.
565
00:20:23,600 --> 00:20:24,647
This house is like a train station.
566
00:20:24,720 --> 00:20:26,245
Everyone's coming and going...
567
00:20:28,600 --> 00:20:30,602
and Trevor's first word was "Fommy."
568
00:20:32,040 --> 00:20:33,724
- Maybe I misheard that.
- I don't think you did.
569
00:20:33,800 --> 00:20:34,801
Honey, come on.
570
00:20:35,800 --> 00:20:38,963
I got the kids covered.
I got the house covered.
571
00:20:39,400 --> 00:20:41,004
You're killing it at work.
572
00:20:41,480 --> 00:20:43,209
Things have never been better.
573
00:20:43,600 --> 00:20:44,601
Oh, please.
574
00:20:44,680 --> 00:20:45,960
- Never been better?
- It's true.
575
00:20:46,000 --> 00:20:47,001
Ben...
576
00:20:47,840 --> 00:20:49,842
you've been unemployed
for the past seven months.
577
00:20:49,880 --> 00:20:50,961
(SIGHS)
578
00:20:51,000 --> 00:20:52,525
Aren't you stressed out?
579
00:20:52,560 --> 00:20:53,766
Yeah. A little bit.
580
00:20:54,520 --> 00:20:56,204
Why aren't you freaking out more?
581
00:20:56,920 --> 00:20:58,843
What good would freaking out do?
582
00:20:58,880 --> 00:21:01,167
Then I'd just be freaked out
and unemployed.
583
00:21:05,200 --> 00:21:06,850
Tomorrow I'm gonna nail that interview.
584
00:21:09,400 --> 00:21:10,526
Big day tomorrow.
585
00:21:19,880 --> 00:21:21,370
It's 12:01, Melvin.
586
00:21:22,520 --> 00:21:23,806
It's my birthday.
587
00:21:27,720 --> 00:21:29,404
You ever feel alone in the world?
588
00:21:32,360 --> 00:21:34,203
I just wish they understood!
589
00:21:35,880 --> 00:21:37,882
I just wish they knew what it felt like...
590
00:21:37,960 --> 00:21:40,884
to have a terrible, horrible,
no good, very bad day!
591
00:21:46,520 --> 00:21:47,521
(SIGHS)
592
00:22:11,320 --> 00:22:12,446
(SNORING)
593
00:22:17,920 --> 00:22:18,921
(BLOWS NOSE)
594
00:22:28,920 --> 00:22:30,285
Shouldn't you guys be up?
595
00:22:30,920 --> 00:22:32,001
Who hit snooze?
596
00:22:32,120 --> 00:22:33,167
- BEN: What time is it?
- Who hit snooze?
597
00:22:33,240 --> 00:22:35,083
- It's morning. It's morning.
- Okay, okay. Go, go, go.
598
00:22:35,120 --> 00:22:37,120
- I have to take a shower.
- All right. Okay, okay.
599
00:22:37,920 --> 00:22:40,764
All right, okay. All right.
600
00:22:43,760 --> 00:22:45,444
Does anyone know
where the diapers are?
601
00:22:45,520 --> 00:22:46,931
(TREVOR CONTINUES CRYING)
602
00:22:49,200 --> 00:22:50,281
ALEXANDER: I'm in here!
603
00:22:51,920 --> 00:22:52,921
Hey, honey?
604
00:22:53,960 --> 00:22:56,361
Wow! You look terrible. Are you okay?
605
00:22:56,440 --> 00:22:59,171
No, I'm not okay.
Peter Pan can't have a cold, Dad.
606
00:22:59,520 --> 00:23:00,521
Okay.
607
00:23:03,960 --> 00:23:04,961
Oh, come...
608
00:23:05,000 --> 00:23:06,047
(GROANS)
609
00:23:06,120 --> 00:23:07,121
Harsh.
610
00:23:08,000 --> 00:23:11,243
Bro, I gotta take a shower. I gotta
get to school. Celia won't call me back.
611
00:23:11,320 --> 00:23:12,321
(SCREAMS)
612
00:23:12,960 --> 00:23:15,008
No! No way, not today!
613
00:23:15,120 --> 00:23:16,326
Get out, dude.
614
00:23:16,360 --> 00:23:17,407
Get out!
615
00:23:17,480 --> 00:23:19,608
ANTHONY: Why today?
This is the worst day! No!
616
00:23:20,640 --> 00:23:22,642
(EMILY COUGHING)
617
00:23:25,240 --> 00:23:26,890
KELLY: I am so late. Emily?
618
00:23:26,960 --> 00:23:28,644
I'm coming in for a razor, honey.
619
00:23:28,680 --> 00:23:30,364
- Mom!
- Mom!
620
00:23:30,440 --> 00:23:31,771
- (EXCLAIMS)
- Mom, get out!
621
00:23:31,840 --> 00:23:32,841
I'm sorry!
622
00:23:32,880 --> 00:23:35,884
Sorry. Sorry. I'll wear pants!
623
00:23:36,760 --> 00:23:38,569
(GROANS) Mother!
624
00:23:47,080 --> 00:23:48,684
- Good morning.
- Speak for yourself.
625
00:23:49,000 --> 00:23:50,365
Oh.
626
00:23:50,400 --> 00:23:51,526
- Dad?
- Yeah!
627
00:23:51,600 --> 00:23:54,285
Trevor's peeing! Where's his diaper?
628
00:23:54,360 --> 00:23:55,441
BEN: I'm looking!
629
00:23:55,880 --> 00:23:56,881
Oh! (GROANS)
630
00:23:59,200 --> 00:24:00,804
Hey! There's the birthday boy.
631
00:24:00,840 --> 00:24:01,841
Okay, come here.
632
00:24:03,040 --> 00:24:06,169
Okay, you know what?
I want you to have a great day.
633
00:24:06,200 --> 00:24:08,248
You are the captain of your ship.
634
00:24:08,320 --> 00:24:10,322
Steer your ship with positivity.
635
00:24:10,360 --> 00:24:12,601
Oh! Come on!
636
00:24:12,720 --> 00:24:14,529
What is wrong with you people?
637
00:24:14,560 --> 00:24:15,561
Anthony!
638
00:24:15,680 --> 00:24:16,761
Dad, are you okay?
639
00:24:16,840 --> 00:24:18,251
Look, you're older already.
640
00:24:18,320 --> 00:24:21,608
I'm sorry, honey, I have to run.
I have a huge event...
641
00:24:21,680 --> 00:24:23,091
and my foot is killing me.
I'm already late.
642
00:24:23,160 --> 00:24:24,366
Ben, put a diaper on it.
643
00:24:24,440 --> 00:24:25,566
We'll celebrate tonight, okay?
644
00:24:25,600 --> 00:24:26,601
I'm trying.
645
00:24:33,880 --> 00:24:34,881
(EXHALES)
646
00:24:43,880 --> 00:24:45,928
Emily!
647
00:24:46,560 --> 00:24:48,562
KELLY: Emily? Emily!
648
00:24:50,080 --> 00:24:51,809
You left the light on in my car all night.
649
00:24:51,880 --> 00:24:52,881
The battery's dead.
650
00:24:53,920 --> 00:24:56,082
I'm the one who had to rehearse
in a cold car, and now I'm sick!
651
00:24:56,160 --> 00:24:57,241
Peter Pan!
652
00:24:58,280 --> 00:25:00,203
- What happened to your head?
- KELLY: Ben, we gotta go!
653
00:25:00,240 --> 00:25:01,401
It's a zit. Is it that bad?
654
00:25:01,440 --> 00:25:02,566
You should put a Band-Aid on that.
655
00:25:02,600 --> 00:25:05,604
Ben! We have got to go!
You are my ride. Let's go, people.
656
00:25:05,680 --> 00:25:08,251
Alexander, into the car.
We have got to go!
657
00:25:08,360 --> 00:25:10,647
Everybody, out of the house!
Broom it out!
658
00:25:10,960 --> 00:25:12,200
- (MUSIC PLAYING ON STEREO)
- (TREVOR CRYING)
659
00:25:12,280 --> 00:25:14,521
KELLY: Get out of your comfort zone.
Push it. Push it.
660
00:25:14,600 --> 00:25:16,409
You miss Bumble Bee, don't you?
661
00:25:16,440 --> 00:25:17,601
Why is Anthony driving?
662
00:25:17,640 --> 00:25:18,926
I feel sick enough as it is.
663
00:25:18,960 --> 00:25:20,325
I need practice for my driver's test today.
664
00:25:20,400 --> 00:25:22,562
Okay! Then can we at least
change the music, please?
665
00:25:24,120 --> 00:25:25,645
(HARD ROCK SONG PLAYING)
666
00:25:26,680 --> 00:25:28,364
That's good. Leave that!
667
00:25:28,440 --> 00:25:30,408
You like that? Yeah! That's good.
668
00:25:30,440 --> 00:25:31,885
Wonderful.
669
00:25:31,960 --> 00:25:33,086
I can't believe I'm sick.
670
00:25:33,120 --> 00:25:36,249
I cannot believe that
this guy is 12 years old.
671
00:25:36,280 --> 00:25:37,281
Thanks, Dad.
672
00:25:37,400 --> 00:25:39,243
This is not gonna work for me.
673
00:25:39,280 --> 00:25:42,363
You're gonna have to get around there,
make a left on Brookwood.
674
00:25:42,440 --> 00:25:44,249
- There's no room.
- Get aggressive!
675
00:25:44,280 --> 00:25:46,123
We have places to be.
You're doing great.
676
00:25:46,160 --> 00:25:48,162
Mom, do you mind? Please.
677
00:25:48,240 --> 00:25:49,844
What? Because of this morning?
678
00:25:51,160 --> 00:25:53,128
It's not the first time
I've seen your penis, Anthony!
679
00:25:53,160 --> 00:25:55,128
- Mom saw your penis?
- Yep!
680
00:25:55,240 --> 00:25:56,760
KELLY: I've seen yours too, Alexander.
681
00:25:56,800 --> 00:25:58,160
I've seen every penis in this car!
682
00:25:58,480 --> 00:25:59,481
Every penis.
683
00:26:00,040 --> 00:26:01,080
- Come on!
- (HORN BLARING)
684
00:26:01,320 --> 00:26:02,651
Excuse me, sir!
685
00:26:03,000 --> 00:26:05,924
Excuse me, sir,
in the ironic Mini Cooper!
686
00:26:06,000 --> 00:26:07,889
You're gonna have
to put down the latte...
687
00:26:08,000 --> 00:26:10,128
and move or I am gonna
come and do it for you!
688
00:26:10,160 --> 00:26:12,447
Sir, I am gonna come... Thank you, son.
689
00:26:14,520 --> 00:26:15,646
BEN: Easy, hon.
690
00:26:15,680 --> 00:26:17,284
Nice and slow. Nice and slow, sweets.
691
00:26:17,320 --> 00:26:18,924
Gently, gently.
692
00:26:19,840 --> 00:26:21,001
There you go, honey.
693
00:26:29,200 --> 00:26:30,531
KELLY: Move, move, move.
694
00:26:30,560 --> 00:26:31,721
BEN: Go, go, go.
695
00:26:31,800 --> 00:26:33,131
It's okay, baby.
696
00:26:33,160 --> 00:26:34,764
Mom's gotta go. Have a good day.
697
00:26:34,840 --> 00:26:36,080
Do you have lunch money?
698
00:26:36,160 --> 00:26:37,446
- Yes?
- Got it.
699
00:26:37,520 --> 00:26:38,521
- BEN: Love you.
- (HORN BLARING)
700
00:26:38,640 --> 00:26:39,641
Mom!
701
00:26:41,240 --> 00:26:43,129
This is not gonna work.
This is not gonna work!
702
00:26:43,200 --> 00:26:46,044
Let's go! Fold in.
Woodwinds, make a window!
703
00:26:46,120 --> 00:26:48,043
- Come on! Let's go, kids!
- (BELL RINGING)
704
00:26:48,080 --> 00:26:50,162
The bell is ringing! Go, march, march!
705
00:26:50,680 --> 00:26:53,365
Move it on in there. Fold in. Hustle!
706
00:26:53,680 --> 00:26:56,001
Excuse me! Excuse me! Okay, come on!
707
00:26:57,000 --> 00:26:58,729
This day is so cursed.
708
00:27:00,720 --> 00:27:01,721
KELLY: Everybody move out of the way.
709
00:27:01,760 --> 00:27:03,320
Just move out of the way.
Make a window!
710
00:27:06,360 --> 00:27:07,805
- Go. Here.
- All right.
711
00:27:07,880 --> 00:27:09,769
Goodbye. Take your stuff.
712
00:27:10,800 --> 00:27:12,564
Have a good day, honey!
713
00:27:12,640 --> 00:27:13,641
Here we go, boys.
714
00:27:18,520 --> 00:27:19,931
ANTHONY: Celia!
715
00:27:20,000 --> 00:27:21,650
Celia, wait up! What's wrong?
716
00:27:21,720 --> 00:27:23,529
You haven't answered your phone
since last night.
717
00:27:23,560 --> 00:27:26,484
Why do you care?
I thought I was so exhausting.
718
00:27:26,560 --> 00:27:27,846
I wasn't talking to you.
719
00:27:27,880 --> 00:27:29,405
I was talking to my idiot brother.
720
00:27:29,440 --> 00:27:30,960
- Whatever.
- I tried calling you back!
721
00:27:31,000 --> 00:27:33,082
I really didn't feel like talking to you.
722
00:27:33,160 --> 00:27:35,003
I just don't think you understand...
723
00:27:35,080 --> 00:27:37,924
the emotional responsibilities
that come from having a girlfriend.
724
00:27:38,920 --> 00:27:40,445
Wait, are you breaking up with me?
725
00:27:42,440 --> 00:27:43,771
What about tonight?
726
00:27:44,240 --> 00:27:45,446
I don't even wanna go.
727
00:27:51,040 --> 00:27:52,166
Sorry. Morning!
728
00:27:52,240 --> 00:27:53,241
WOMAN: Good morning!
729
00:27:54,880 --> 00:27:56,245
Try calling again!
730
00:27:56,280 --> 00:27:58,169
Sorry I'm late. I had a little car trouble.
731
00:27:58,240 --> 00:27:59,765
My husband had to drop me off.
732
00:28:01,080 --> 00:28:02,923
- What happened?
- This happened!
733
00:28:03,440 --> 00:28:05,647
And not just the cover. No.
734
00:28:05,720 --> 00:28:08,610
15 times throughout the book.
735
00:28:08,640 --> 00:28:11,291
But it must be
some horrible mistake at the printer!
736
00:28:11,320 --> 00:28:14,529
I don't know, Cooper.
You're the one who did the final proof!
737
00:28:14,600 --> 00:28:16,443
We can't have that in a children's book!
738
00:28:16,520 --> 00:28:19,683
We just pulled the plug on publication.
So, that's good.
739
00:28:19,800 --> 00:28:22,849
But we have an even bigger problem.
740
00:28:23,840 --> 00:28:26,127
Celebrity readings. Dick Van Dyke!
741
00:28:26,160 --> 00:28:27,400
I've been calling all morning,
but I can't get through.
742
00:28:27,440 --> 00:28:28,566
Oh no.
743
00:28:28,640 --> 00:28:30,642
I will get down there.
I will fix this. I will take care of this!
744
00:28:30,680 --> 00:28:32,364
He won't read it.
745
00:28:32,480 --> 00:28:35,450
You can count on me!
746
00:28:35,880 --> 00:28:39,362
Oh, Abby, great. I need to borrow
your car. It's a work emergency.
747
00:28:39,440 --> 00:28:42,523
I ride a bike, actually. It's good
exercise and good for the planet.
748
00:28:42,600 --> 00:28:44,125
Just tell me where it is!
749
00:28:44,840 --> 00:28:47,366
Dude, I've been looking
for you everywhere.
750
00:28:47,440 --> 00:28:48,646
Have you heard about Philip Parker?
751
00:28:48,720 --> 00:28:50,961
I don't wanna hear anything more
about his amazing party.
752
00:28:51,080 --> 00:28:52,241
No. It's canceled.
753
00:28:52,920 --> 00:28:53,967
What?
754
00:28:54,000 --> 00:28:55,650
Yeah! He woke up with chicken pox.
755
00:28:55,720 --> 00:28:57,085
He texted me this picture.
756
00:28:57,160 --> 00:28:59,003
These things are everywhere.
757
00:28:59,880 --> 00:29:01,086
Oh!
758
00:29:01,160 --> 00:29:02,650
They're even in his butt crack.
759
00:29:03,720 --> 00:29:05,006
So, his party's not on?
760
00:29:05,040 --> 00:29:06,849
No! So everyone's coming
to yours again!
761
00:29:06,880 --> 00:29:08,848
- Really?
- Great, right?
762
00:29:08,880 --> 00:29:10,325
His pox is your gain.
763
00:29:10,400 --> 00:29:11,401
(EXHALES)
764
00:29:12,400 --> 00:29:13,481
Oh.
765
00:29:13,520 --> 00:29:14,681
I gotta go. I gotta go.
766
00:29:15,160 --> 00:29:16,161
Becky!
767
00:29:16,720 --> 00:29:18,848
Becky, Becky. Wait, wait up.
768
00:29:19,360 --> 00:29:20,361
Hi!
769
00:29:21,000 --> 00:29:23,685
I am really sorry
about burning your binder yesterday.
770
00:29:23,720 --> 00:29:25,927
Today's a new day,
and I thought that we could go ahead...
771
00:29:26,000 --> 00:29:27,729
and sail our ships with positivity!
772
00:29:28,520 --> 00:29:29,681
Wow, okay.
773
00:29:30,600 --> 00:29:33,171
Anyway, Philip Parker has chicken pox.
774
00:29:33,200 --> 00:29:34,486
But my party's still on.
775
00:29:35,080 --> 00:29:37,811
So if you want to swing by,
it's gonna be pretty cool.
776
00:29:39,040 --> 00:29:40,644
- Is that right?
- Yeah.
777
00:29:40,680 --> 00:29:44,480
I actually feel bad Philip's gonna miss
such a sweet party, but...
778
00:29:44,520 --> 00:29:46,409
what can you do when you got the pox?
779
00:29:47,040 --> 00:29:49,042
Okay, maybe.
780
00:29:49,080 --> 00:29:51,970
Fantastic! Maybe I'll see you later then.
781
00:29:52,040 --> 00:29:54,042
Okay. See you.
782
00:29:55,360 --> 00:29:56,361
See you!
783
00:30:01,720 --> 00:30:02,960
No.
784
00:30:05,960 --> 00:30:07,291
BEN: Should I put more over here?
785
00:30:07,360 --> 00:30:08,361
(CELLPHONE RINGING)
786
00:30:11,520 --> 00:30:13,204
Hey, birthday boy!
787
00:30:13,240 --> 00:30:14,571
<i>Nothing goofy, Dad.</i>
788
00:30:14,600 --> 00:30:17,080
- What? Alexander?
- Yeah...
789
00:30:17,120 --> 00:30:20,010
and we're gonna need enough food,
cake and drinks for 50 kids.
790
00:30:20,080 --> 00:30:22,367
- Everyone's coming.
- Okay, okay. Hold on. Now hold on.
791
00:30:22,400 --> 00:30:23,731
- What are you talking about?
- (TREVOR CRYING)
792
00:30:23,840 --> 00:30:25,410
<i>Philip Parker has chicken pox.</i>
793
00:30:25,440 --> 00:30:27,090
<i>- The Party's on!
- Hey!</i>
794
00:30:27,120 --> 00:30:28,804
That's fantastic. I mean, for you.
795
00:30:28,880 --> 00:30:31,850
<i>Yeah. And guess what? Elliot got
busted for text-bombing the school.</i>
796
00:30:31,920 --> 00:30:35,083
So I took your advice
and steered my ship with positivity.
797
00:30:35,160 --> 00:30:37,288
And now Becky Gibson
might be coming, too.
798
00:30:37,360 --> 00:30:38,771
<i>So no magic tricks.</i>
799
00:30:38,840 --> 00:30:40,888
No tap dancing, nothing dorky.
800
00:30:40,920 --> 00:30:42,365
<i>- You got it.
- I'm</i> turning <i>12.</i>
801
00:30:42,440 --> 00:30:44,841
Got it. 12-year-old cool straight up.
802
00:30:45,720 --> 00:30:47,320
- Do it right now.
- It's just allergies.
803
00:30:47,360 --> 00:30:48,441
Really?
804
00:30:48,480 --> 00:30:49,925
Hey, Em. What's up?
805
00:30:50,440 --> 00:30:53,523
They're making me miss dress rehearsal
to lay down in the infirmary.
806
00:30:53,600 --> 00:30:55,443
Oh! And Anthony called me.
807
00:30:55,520 --> 00:30:57,443
Celia broke up with him.
808
00:30:57,480 --> 00:30:58,811
They're going to prom tonight.
809
00:30:59,360 --> 00:31:00,930
Apparently not anymore.
810
00:31:18,360 --> 00:31:19,600
Can I be excused?
811
00:31:20,360 --> 00:31:21,361
Yes.
812
00:31:27,760 --> 00:31:28,966
What?
813
00:31:29,040 --> 00:31:30,485
Listen...
814
00:31:30,520 --> 00:31:32,284
I am sorry about last night.
You have to believe me.
815
00:31:32,320 --> 00:31:34,163
I would never say
those things about you.
816
00:31:34,640 --> 00:31:37,484
And tonight, I'm going
to make it up to you.
817
00:31:38,360 --> 00:31:39,486
X-O-X-O.
818
00:31:40,000 --> 00:31:41,001
I heart you.
819
00:31:44,480 --> 00:31:46,642
Look, I just want
everything to be perfect tonight.
820
00:31:48,520 --> 00:31:49,965
Please...
821
00:31:50,000 --> 00:31:51,331
be my date for the prom.
822
00:31:51,360 --> 00:31:52,361
(DOOR OPENS)
823
00:31:52,440 --> 00:31:53,646
WOMAN: This isn't <i>Gossip Girl,</i> you two.
824
00:31:53,680 --> 00:31:54,761
Get back inside, Celia.
825
00:31:56,400 --> 00:31:57,686
See you tonight.
826
00:32:05,640 --> 00:32:06,641
Yes!
827
00:32:12,960 --> 00:32:14,246
(DOOR OPENING)
828
00:32:15,160 --> 00:32:16,491
(MURMURING)
829
00:32:16,800 --> 00:32:18,325
<i>Let's go, Wreck-It Ralph.</i>
830
00:32:18,360 --> 00:32:20,522
Principal's office now!
831
00:32:20,600 --> 00:32:22,364
Are you sure I can't just
drop him off with you?
832
00:32:22,400 --> 00:32:24,004
KELLY ON PHONE: Honey,
there's no way. Not today.
833
00:32:24,040 --> 00:32:25,690
<i>What happened to the babysitter?</i>
834
00:32:25,720 --> 00:32:27,404
Oh, she had to cancel again.
835
00:32:27,480 --> 00:32:29,528
You know what? It's okay.
I'll just take him with me.
836
00:32:29,560 --> 00:32:31,085
<i>You're taking Trevor to the interview?</i>
837
00:32:31,160 --> 00:32:32,207
Yeah, I'll be fine.
838
00:32:32,240 --> 00:32:34,004
<i>How's he doing without Bumble Bee?</i>
839
00:32:34,040 --> 00:32:35,883
Um, he is...
840
00:32:35,920 --> 00:32:38,048
He is hanging in there.
He's doing okay.
841
00:32:38,120 --> 00:32:40,248
<i>Okay, honey.
I gotta go. I gotta go. Good luck!</i>
842
00:32:40,320 --> 00:32:41,401
Thanks, you too, hon.
843
00:32:41,520 --> 00:32:42,726
(CELLPHONE RINGING)
844
00:32:43,680 --> 00:32:44,727
Hey, Anthony, what's up?
845
00:32:44,800 --> 00:32:46,404
<i>Dad, I broke a trophy case
and got suspended.</i>
846
00:32:46,480 --> 00:32:48,403
<i>- What?
- You have to come and pick me up.</i>
847
00:32:48,440 --> 00:32:50,044
No! You gotta be kidding me.
848
00:32:50,120 --> 00:32:51,440
<i>They say you need to come get me.</i>
849
00:32:51,480 --> 00:32:53,289
No, no. You're gonna
have to wait at the Principal's
850
00:32:53,360 --> 00:32:54,725
office till I'm done with my interview.
851
00:32:54,760 --> 00:32:55,841
<i>Fine, I'll be here.</i>
852
00:32:55,880 --> 00:32:57,211
Okay, bye.
853
00:32:57,240 --> 00:32:58,651
(TREVOR CONTINUES CRYING)
854
00:33:09,920 --> 00:33:11,081
(HORN BLARING)
855
00:33:13,520 --> 00:33:15,807
On your left! I'm on your right!
856
00:33:16,280 --> 00:33:17,964
On your right. On your left.
857
00:33:19,640 --> 00:33:20,687
Are you okay?
858
00:33:20,760 --> 00:33:21,761
I'm good. I got it!
859
00:33:22,120 --> 00:33:23,610
I'm good. Don't worry!
860
00:33:29,800 --> 00:33:30,881
Excuse me.
861
00:33:30,920 --> 00:33:32,809
Mr. Van Dyke. Mr. Van Dyke!
862
00:33:32,880 --> 00:33:35,280
I have been trying to reach you
because I'm here to save you.
863
00:33:35,360 --> 00:33:37,249
I'm from the publishing company.
864
00:33:37,280 --> 00:33:39,442
Let me start again. I'm not crazy.
865
00:33:39,520 --> 00:33:40,567
WOMAN: Please welcome
legendary performer...
866
00:33:40,600 --> 00:33:41,886
- No, no.
- That's my cue.
867
00:33:41,920 --> 00:33:43,763
We'll have a little chat later, all right?
868
00:33:43,800 --> 00:33:45,723
This is not something we should
leave until afterwards.
869
00:33:45,760 --> 00:33:47,205
We wanna have
a chat right now, Mr. Van Dyke!
870
00:33:47,280 --> 00:33:49,567
Please welcome Mr. Dick Van Dyke!
871
00:33:51,600 --> 00:33:52,806
Please!
872
00:33:56,840 --> 00:33:58,171
I insist that you get him.
873
00:33:58,240 --> 00:33:59,924
And I insist you stay right there.
874
00:33:59,960 --> 00:34:00,961
- Hi, kids!
- KELLY: Sir!
875
00:34:01,040 --> 00:34:02,280
And hi, moms and dads.
876
00:34:02,360 --> 00:34:04,328
There was a misprint! Just two minutes!
877
00:34:04,400 --> 00:34:06,482
If you guys don't know who I am,
ask your parents.
878
00:34:06,520 --> 00:34:07,521
And if they don't know...
879
00:34:07,600 --> 00:34:08,840
have them ask their parents.
880
00:34:08,920 --> 00:34:10,126
(LAUGHTER)
881
00:34:10,160 --> 00:34:12,811
We're gonna have a great time today.
882
00:34:12,880 --> 00:34:14,882
- I'm gonna read to you.
- You're not gonna want to say-!
883
00:34:14,960 --> 00:34:17,201
I'm gonna read from a very special book.
884
00:34:17,280 --> 00:34:18,281
You ready?
885
00:34:18,320 --> 00:34:20,049
Get out of my way. I need him. Sir!
886
00:34:20,160 --> 00:34:23,528
"Today's the day. You're growing up!
887
00:34:23,600 --> 00:34:24,965
"I'm here to help you...
888
00:34:25,080 --> 00:34:26,411
take that dump!"
889
00:34:26,480 --> 00:34:28,005
Please don't, sir!
890
00:34:28,040 --> 00:34:29,804
"Take that dump in the pool!
891
00:34:31,000 --> 00:34:32,764
- "Take that dump on the bed!
- (GROANS)
892
00:34:33,440 --> 00:34:37,445
"But, don't take a dump on your,
on your brother's head.
893
00:34:38,480 --> 00:34:40,323
"You can take a dump like a frog.
894
00:34:40,360 --> 00:34:42,488
"I'll take a big dump like a dog!"
895
00:34:43,160 --> 00:34:44,685
No! It's "jump"!
896
00:34:44,720 --> 00:34:47,041
It's just jump, sir. Not dump.
897
00:34:47,720 --> 00:34:48,801
Would you excuse me for a moment?
898
00:34:48,840 --> 00:34:50,001
I never agreed to do this kind of...
899
00:34:50,080 --> 00:34:51,320
KELLY: There was a misprint.
900
00:34:51,440 --> 00:34:54,250
Jump like a frog. One little letter.
901
00:34:54,360 --> 00:34:56,328
It was a mistake!
It was meant to be jump! I'm so sorry.
902
00:34:56,360 --> 00:34:59,011
There she is, right there,
with the bad hair! She's behind this.
903
00:34:59,080 --> 00:35:00,525
(CHILDREN CRYING)
904
00:35:08,720 --> 00:35:11,326
Okay, we got this. We got this, right?
905
00:35:11,360 --> 00:35:13,681
You good? You cool? You ready?
906
00:35:13,760 --> 00:35:16,047
You ready to nail this? All right.
907
00:35:16,080 --> 00:35:17,081
(ELEVATOR BELL DINGS)
908
00:35:19,560 --> 00:35:21,403
Oh, wow!
909
00:35:34,400 --> 00:35:35,731
Hey, man, guys are ready for you.
910
00:35:35,800 --> 00:35:37,962
- Let's go.
- Oh, great, thank you.
911
00:35:39,880 --> 00:35:41,086
At first we thought it was a little weird
912
00:35:41,200 --> 00:35:42,247
that you even applied for this job...
913
00:35:42,320 --> 00:35:45,767
because we're pretty young and you're...
914
00:35:46,240 --> 00:35:47,241
Older.
915
00:35:47,320 --> 00:35:48,367
- Yeah.
- Yeah.
916
00:35:48,400 --> 00:35:49,481
Kind of decrepit.
917
00:35:49,920 --> 00:35:51,480
But then we took a look at your resume,
918
00:35:51,520 --> 00:35:52,931
and your experience is awesome.
919
00:35:53,720 --> 00:35:55,722
You're part of
the space station design team.
920
00:35:55,840 --> 00:35:58,889
You have a Ph.D.
in orbital mechanics. I mean, for real?
921
00:35:58,920 --> 00:35:59,921
For real.
922
00:36:02,360 --> 00:36:03,361
Sorry.
923
00:36:04,040 --> 00:36:05,371
Hey, you.
924
00:36:06,160 --> 00:36:08,208
He's a little out of sorts today.
925
00:36:08,480 --> 00:36:09,561
(TREVOR COOING)
926
00:36:09,600 --> 00:36:13,082
(CHUCKLES) It's so hard
to find the Bumble Bee pacifier.
927
00:36:13,120 --> 00:36:16,203
It would blow your mind. Anyway...
928
00:36:16,240 --> 00:36:17,765
Here you go.
929
00:36:17,800 --> 00:36:19,689
He's just gonna play for a while.
930
00:36:19,760 --> 00:36:22,127
And, kids are crazy.
931
00:36:22,680 --> 00:36:23,761
They're fun.
932
00:36:23,840 --> 00:36:24,841
Yeah.
933
00:36:24,920 --> 00:36:26,649
So, what were we talking about?
934
00:36:26,720 --> 00:36:28,290
We're thinking about
launching this game.
935
00:36:28,320 --> 00:36:31,608
We want it to be a space station
simulation strategy game.
936
00:36:31,640 --> 00:36:34,644
We want it to be authentic
and completely immersive.
937
00:36:34,720 --> 00:36:36,563
BEN: That sounds really exciting.
938
00:36:36,600 --> 00:36:38,090
That's in my wheelhouse.
939
00:36:38,120 --> 00:36:39,690
Great! We wanna hear some ideas.
940
00:36:39,800 --> 00:36:41,848
I guess my first idea would
be modular evolution.
941
00:36:41,920 --> 00:36:43,251
Cool.
942
00:36:43,280 --> 00:36:45,567
Space stations are not static.
They grow over time.
943
00:36:45,640 --> 00:36:49,008
So you would want to start with
perhaps a small space station...
944
00:36:49,080 --> 00:36:51,447
and grow it into
an enormous space station.
945
00:36:51,520 --> 00:36:53,761
And I think players
should have that opportunity.
946
00:36:53,800 --> 00:36:55,689
They could add greenhouses.
947
00:36:55,760 --> 00:36:57,171
They could add labs.
948
00:36:57,240 --> 00:36:58,765
They could grow a space station...
949
00:36:59,600 --> 00:37:01,329
as big as their imagination.
950
00:37:01,560 --> 00:37:03,961
- Uh... Your kid.
- Oh!
951
00:37:04,040 --> 00:37:05,644
You know what, that'll be fine.
952
00:37:05,680 --> 00:37:07,967
Because we can get daycare,
so that won't be an issue.
953
00:37:08,040 --> 00:37:09,485
No, no, no.
954
00:37:09,520 --> 00:37:10,521
Your kid right now...
955
00:37:11,680 --> 00:37:13,523
his face is all green.
956
00:37:14,600 --> 00:37:16,682
Oh! Wow, Trev.
957
00:37:17,360 --> 00:37:20,011
Trevor. I know.
958
00:37:20,560 --> 00:37:21,721
That's not for eating.
959
00:37:21,840 --> 00:37:23,171
Yoshi, what's up, man?
960
00:37:23,200 --> 00:37:25,089
<i>Good news to report or what?</i>
961
00:37:25,160 --> 00:37:27,925
Actually, we have
a Skype call we gotta take.
962
00:37:28,000 --> 00:37:29,365
But we will call you back.
963
00:37:31,160 --> 00:37:32,571
Okay. You'll call me back?
964
00:37:33,000 --> 00:37:34,161
- Yeah.
- All right.
965
00:37:34,840 --> 00:37:36,683
Great. All right, we'll head out.
966
00:37:36,760 --> 00:37:37,886
You ready to go?
967
00:37:41,200 --> 00:37:42,281
Anthony,
968
00:37:42,360 --> 00:37:45,682
of all the days for you to get sent home,
it had to be today?
969
00:37:45,760 --> 00:37:47,046
Dad, it was a freak accident!
970
00:37:47,120 --> 00:37:48,360
Don't! (BABBLING)
971
00:37:50,440 --> 00:37:51,566
What happened to Trevor?
972
00:37:51,800 --> 00:37:52,801
(BABBLING)
973
00:37:54,200 --> 00:37:55,361
That's real mature, Dad.
974
00:38:00,440 --> 00:38:01,441
Hey, Salamander.
975
00:38:01,560 --> 00:38:02,686
Hey, Dad!
976
00:38:07,080 --> 00:38:09,048
Whoa! What happened to Trevor?
977
00:38:09,200 --> 00:38:11,521
He ate a delicious
green marker for lunch.
978
00:38:11,600 --> 00:38:13,568
- Why are you here?
- Shut up.
979
00:38:13,640 --> 00:38:15,688
Em, I thought you had to stay
to get ready for your play.
980
00:38:15,720 --> 00:38:16,721
I need drugs.
981
00:38:16,800 --> 00:38:19,326
Real drugs. The nurse will
only give me baby aspirin.
982
00:38:19,400 --> 00:38:20,731
What happened to Trevor?
983
00:38:20,760 --> 00:38:23,445
Emily, we're not gonna pump you
full of medicine. You're not a cyclist.
984
00:38:23,520 --> 00:38:26,444
I'm not asking for steroids.
I need cough syrup, something.
985
00:38:26,520 --> 00:38:28,409
Wait, Dad! How was your interview?
986
00:38:29,000 --> 00:38:30,240
It was not a good fit.
987
00:38:30,800 --> 00:38:32,450
But, you know? We'll see what happens.
988
00:38:32,640 --> 00:38:33,641
It was fine.
989
00:38:33,720 --> 00:38:34,721
Try again next time.
990
00:38:34,800 --> 00:38:35,801
- Hello.
- Hi, Mr. Brand.
991
00:38:35,880 --> 00:38:38,167
I know she's not 100%, but...
992
00:38:38,240 --> 00:38:40,402
as they say, the show must go on.
993
00:38:40,480 --> 00:38:42,482
So, if you could get her back here
by 3:00 for hair and makeup...
994
00:38:42,560 --> 00:38:43,561
that would be tremendous.
995
00:38:45,080 --> 00:38:46,081
Em, you look terrible.
996
00:38:46,160 --> 00:38:47,525
Maybe you should have
your understudy do it?
997
00:38:47,560 --> 00:38:51,007
No! Nobody wears
those tights but me. Pharmacy, pronto!
998
00:38:52,120 --> 00:38:53,610
Nobody wears the tights but her.
999
00:38:54,200 --> 00:38:55,361
(EXHALES)
1000
00:38:55,960 --> 00:38:57,325
(LINE RINGING)
1001
00:38:58,600 --> 00:38:59,931
(EMILY SNEEZING)
1002
00:38:59,960 --> 00:39:02,611
WOMAN: (OVER PA)
<i>Any available cashier to register two.</i>
1003
00:39:02,680 --> 00:39:04,250
Extra strength or regular?
1004
00:39:04,320 --> 00:39:05,924
What do you think?
1005
00:39:05,960 --> 00:39:07,610
Excuse me. Do you have
a Bumble Bee pacifier?
1006
00:39:07,640 --> 00:39:09,005
Does it have to be Bumble Bee?
1007
00:39:09,080 --> 00:39:10,081
It has to be the Bumble Bee.
1008
00:39:10,200 --> 00:39:11,531
Yes, because this ain't gonna last.
1009
00:39:11,600 --> 00:39:12,840
- Thank you.
- (CELLPHONE CONTINUES RINGING)
1010
00:39:12,920 --> 00:39:14,206
Hey, how'd the reading go?
1011
00:39:14,280 --> 00:39:15,840
<i>KELLY ON PHONE:
It could've gone better.</i>
1012
00:39:16,280 --> 00:39:17,770
<i>Honey, I'm sure it was great.</i>
1013
00:39:17,840 --> 00:39:18,921
Uh, well...
1014
00:39:19,520 --> 00:39:23,241
<i>Well, you know what,
I'm sure it was not that bad, really.</i>
1015
00:39:23,960 --> 00:39:27,248
That girl with the awful hair, I think.
1016
00:39:27,280 --> 00:39:30,921
No, no. I thought, maybe... No, it's bad.
1017
00:39:30,960 --> 00:39:32,291
<i>It was bad. It was lose-my-job bad.</i>
1018
00:39:32,320 --> 00:39:33,685
Really?
1019
00:39:33,760 --> 00:39:36,650
Anthony, come on! No, please. Stop it.
1020
00:39:36,680 --> 00:39:38,125
- No, I'm just...
- Stop it!
1021
00:39:38,160 --> 00:39:39,810
What are you doing?
Why is Anthony with you?
1022
00:39:39,880 --> 00:39:41,325
He was suspended from school...
1023
00:39:41,440 --> 00:39:42,885
<i>for destroying school property.</i>
1024
00:39:43,280 --> 00:39:45,123
- What? What happened?
- It's fine.
1025
00:39:45,160 --> 00:39:46,525
It was an accident.
I'll tell you about it later.
1026
00:39:46,600 --> 00:39:49,080
Okay, so, Em is getting her cough syrup.
1027
00:39:49,120 --> 00:39:50,770
I'm taking Anthony to his driver's test.
1028
00:39:50,800 --> 00:39:52,484
And, good news!
1029
00:39:52,520 --> 00:39:54,807
50 kids are coming over tonight.
The party is on!
1030
00:39:54,840 --> 00:39:55,841
<i>Boy, this is...</i>
1031
00:39:55,960 --> 00:39:58,645
- Maybe I should meet you. I'm not far.
<i>- It's</i> fine!
1032
00:39:58,680 --> 00:40:01,445
Hon, I'm totally... Hold on.
1033
00:40:01,480 --> 00:40:03,323
- No, we don't have one.
- (GROANS)
1034
00:40:03,360 --> 00:40:05,203
Daddy wishes he could swear right now.
1035
00:40:06,000 --> 00:40:07,047
Hey, question.
1036
00:40:07,320 --> 00:40:09,049
Permanent marker,
do you know if it's poisonous?
1037
00:40:09,120 --> 00:40:10,560
Because he might have ingested some.
1038
00:40:10,840 --> 00:40:11,841
What?
1039
00:40:11,880 --> 00:40:13,450
<i>- Ben!</i>
- Honey, honey...
1040
00:40:13,480 --> 00:40:14,686
- I'm coming!
- No, no, no! I'm good.
1041
00:40:14,760 --> 00:40:16,125
Tell Trevor Mama's on her way!
1042
00:40:21,600 --> 00:40:23,045
Nobody's home.
1043
00:40:23,120 --> 00:40:24,246
Call 'em, dude.
1044
00:40:30,640 --> 00:40:32,688
BEN: Anthony, are you sure
you're up for this today?
1045
00:40:32,760 --> 00:40:34,967
Dad, it's now or never.
I promised Celia.
1046
00:40:35,000 --> 00:40:38,368
All right. Well, anything worth
doing is worth doing well.
1047
00:40:38,440 --> 00:40:40,320
- Try not to kill anybody.
- (CELLPHONE RINGING)
1048
00:40:41,400 --> 00:40:44,165
Hello. Yeah.
1049
00:40:45,440 --> 00:40:48,364
I'm not gonna be back
for a while, so, the gate's open.
1050
00:40:48,400 --> 00:40:50,050
Just go in, start setting everything up.
1051
00:40:50,080 --> 00:40:51,366
<i>Are you sure you guys can handle this?</i>
1052
00:40:51,440 --> 00:40:53,204
Yeah, yeah, no problem.
We'll be ready to party.
1053
00:40:53,240 --> 00:40:54,241
<i>Okay-</i>
1054
00:40:54,320 --> 00:40:55,560
- Okay, great.
- See you later.
1055
00:40:55,680 --> 00:40:56,681
Thanks.
1056
00:40:57,200 --> 00:40:59,567
- Let's do this.
- Yeah.
1057
00:40:59,600 --> 00:41:01,568
BEN: Emily, just the recommended
dosage, please.
1058
00:41:01,640 --> 00:41:02,720
That stuff's pretty strong.
1059
00:41:03,480 --> 00:41:04,561
KELLY: Hi, guys.
1060
00:41:04,640 --> 00:41:05,880
Hey, there's Mama.
1061
00:41:05,920 --> 00:41:07,046
Why is my baby green?
1062
00:41:07,080 --> 00:41:08,411
Well, things went a little awry today.
1063
00:41:08,440 --> 00:41:09,441
Honey.
1064
00:41:09,520 --> 00:41:10,521
- Look who it is.
- Ben, he's green.
1065
00:41:10,560 --> 00:41:11,561
- I know.
- What is this?
1066
00:41:11,640 --> 00:41:14,723
It's marker. It's fine.
How did it go? How was the reading?
1067
00:41:14,760 --> 00:41:17,570
It was awful. I think I pretty much
flushed my career down the potty.
1068
00:41:17,640 --> 00:41:18,721
BEN: Why, what happened?
1069
00:41:18,760 --> 00:41:20,444
Never mind. Can I have the wipes?
1070
00:41:22,520 --> 00:41:24,249
- Dad!
- Sorry. I'm sorry.
1071
00:41:24,320 --> 00:41:26,243
I told you this day was cursed.
1072
00:41:26,280 --> 00:41:27,281
BEN: Sorry.
1073
00:41:27,360 --> 00:41:29,601
WOMAN: (OVER PA)
Cooper. Anthony Cooper.
1074
00:41:29,680 --> 00:41:30,727
- All right, wish me luck.
- Good luck, baby.
1075
00:41:30,840 --> 00:41:32,922
<i>- Here you go.
- Anthony Cooper.</i>
1076
00:41:33,120 --> 00:41:34,121
Wait, Anthony!
1077
00:41:34,960 --> 00:41:36,564
Please don't do it today.
You're gonna fail.
1078
00:41:36,600 --> 00:41:37,726
BEN: Alexander...
1079
00:41:37,760 --> 00:41:39,091
give your brother some space, please.
1080
00:41:39,120 --> 00:41:41,407
Yeah, the next time you see this face,
it's gonna be on my driver's license.
1081
00:41:41,440 --> 00:41:42,521
It's not coming off.
1082
00:41:42,600 --> 00:41:43,931
Just hurry up! I need to get to my play.
1083
00:41:43,960 --> 00:41:44,961
KELLY: What kind of a person...
1084
00:41:45,040 --> 00:41:46,087
It's not poisonous.
1085
00:41:47,240 --> 00:41:48,890
I don't think it's poisonous.
1086
00:41:58,320 --> 00:41:59,446
Hi, I'm Anthony. I'm really excited...
1087
00:41:59,480 --> 00:42:01,130
There are only two things
you need to know.
1088
00:42:01,160 --> 00:42:04,130
My name is Ms. Suggs
and I'll be your driving examiner.
1089
00:42:04,160 --> 00:42:07,050
Now, you may be
the big man on campus out there...
1090
00:42:07,120 --> 00:42:09,441
but in this minivan, I'm the B.M.O.C.
1091
00:42:09,520 --> 00:42:10,965
You get me?
1092
00:42:11,000 --> 00:42:14,925
Now put your hands at 10 and 2,
and show me what you can do.
1093
00:42:15,480 --> 00:42:17,528
Hi, Mom, how you doing?
1094
00:42:19,200 --> 00:42:21,123
How's your day going so far?
1095
00:42:21,160 --> 00:42:23,128
- Okay, I'm just gonna...
- What?
1096
00:42:23,160 --> 00:42:25,288
Just make this little call.
1097
00:42:25,320 --> 00:42:26,401
Okay.
1098
00:42:29,640 --> 00:42:31,085
Yeah, it's...
1099
00:42:31,280 --> 00:42:32,406
(CELLPHONE RINGING)
1100
00:42:32,480 --> 00:42:33,481
(LAUGHS)
1101
00:42:33,520 --> 00:42:35,602
Cooper! Where are you?
1102
00:42:35,640 --> 00:42:37,802
<i>My family had a little situation, so...</i>
1103
00:42:37,840 --> 00:42:39,649
Really? That's funny.
1104
00:42:39,680 --> 00:42:42,650
Because we're having
a little bit of a situation here!
1105
00:42:42,720 --> 00:42:45,326
<i>The phones are going crazy.</i>
1106
00:42:45,400 --> 00:42:47,004
What happened at that reading?
1107
00:42:47,360 --> 00:42:49,010
Well, it was a really good crowd.
1108
00:42:49,080 --> 00:42:50,764
It was a big, big crowd. Big turnout.
1109
00:42:50,800 --> 00:42:54,850
And the parents seemed
to have a lot to say.
1110
00:42:54,920 --> 00:42:57,161
- They responded.
<i>- Did they?</i>
1111
00:42:57,200 --> 00:43:00,886
Did they respond
to Dick Van Dyke asking their toddlers...
1112
00:43:00,960 --> 00:43:02,928
if they could take a dump like a dog?
1113
00:43:03,520 --> 00:43:05,488
<i>I thought I could count on you.</i>
1114
00:43:05,600 --> 00:43:07,204
We'll discuss this later.
1115
00:43:08,000 --> 00:43:10,048
I look forward to...
I look forward to that.
1116
00:43:17,000 --> 00:43:21,005
Tell me something, Anthony.
Are you a senior citizen?
1117
00:43:21,680 --> 00:43:23,011
No, ma'am.
1118
00:43:23,440 --> 00:43:25,681
Well, then why are you driving
15 miles an hour in a 25 mile zone?
1119
00:43:25,760 --> 00:43:26,761
Come on, speed it up.
1120
00:43:28,040 --> 00:43:31,761
That's right. That is right. Boy.
1121
00:43:33,560 --> 00:43:35,562
Change lanes.
1122
00:43:42,520 --> 00:43:44,120
Now, I want you to take a right up here.
1123
00:43:50,360 --> 00:43:52,362
All right. Okay.
1124
00:43:52,480 --> 00:43:53,481
(CELLPHONE VIBRATING)
1125
00:43:58,200 --> 00:43:59,725
Celia's calling.
1126
00:44:00,720 --> 00:44:03,246
It's my girlfriend.
Probably wants to talk prom plans.
1127
00:44:03,320 --> 00:44:07,086
Tonight's the prom.
Well, I'll just ignore that.
1128
00:44:07,800 --> 00:44:10,610
It seems like
she's very anxious to talk to you.
1129
00:44:11,440 --> 00:44:13,090
No. No, no. I'm driving.
1130
00:44:13,160 --> 00:44:15,242
I would never answer
the phone when I'm driving.
1131
00:44:15,400 --> 00:44:16,481
No.
1132
00:44:16,560 --> 00:44:17,680
No matter what circumstance.
1133
00:44:17,720 --> 00:44:20,166
But, you know,
proms don't happen every day.
1134
00:44:20,240 --> 00:44:21,287
That's true.
1135
00:44:22,440 --> 00:44:24,568
You sure?
It'll just be super quick. It's not...
1136
00:44:24,640 --> 00:44:27,883
What's important to you
is important to me.
1137
00:44:28,400 --> 00:44:29,401
Right?
1138
00:44:32,080 --> 00:44:34,128
Hey, Celia.
I can't really talk right now, but...
1139
00:44:34,200 --> 00:44:37,090
- Put the phone down!
- What?
1140
00:44:37,120 --> 00:44:39,521
Put the mobile device down now!
1141
00:44:39,600 --> 00:44:40,681
Hey, eyes on the road!
1142
00:44:41,760 --> 00:44:43,091
No, no!
1143
00:44:43,760 --> 00:44:44,761
(SCREAMING)
1144
00:44:46,120 --> 00:44:47,451
You're gonna kill us!
1145
00:44:54,600 --> 00:44:55,647
What is wrong with you?
1146
00:44:57,840 --> 00:44:59,046
What are you doing?
1147
00:44:59,120 --> 00:45:03,250
What are you...
What are you doing? You fool!
1148
00:45:07,760 --> 00:45:09,125
You tricked me!
1149
00:45:09,480 --> 00:45:10,606
Get outta this car.
1150
00:45:11,520 --> 00:45:12,806
- You get out of this car.
- You're evil!
1151
00:45:12,960 --> 00:45:14,291
You prom creep!
1152
00:45:14,480 --> 00:45:16,482
- I don't think he passed.
- SUGGS: Get out!
1153
00:45:16,520 --> 00:45:17,521
Get out!
1154
00:45:31,320 --> 00:45:32,321
(SIGHS)
1155
00:45:38,160 --> 00:45:39,286
ANTHONY: This is your fault.
1156
00:45:39,760 --> 00:45:41,444
If you hadn't caused a fight
between me and Celia...
1157
00:45:41,480 --> 00:45:42,481
I would've never picked up that call...
1158
00:45:42,560 --> 00:45:43,641
- and failed my test.
- No, no, no.
1159
00:45:43,680 --> 00:45:46,001
Anthony, you are
not passing the blame on this one.
1160
00:45:46,040 --> 00:45:48,486
I told you today might not be a good day
to take the test.
1161
00:45:48,520 --> 00:45:49,851
Dad, I had to take the test today.
1162
00:45:49,880 --> 00:45:51,006
No, you didn't have
to take the test today.
1163
00:45:51,080 --> 00:45:52,570
EMILY: It is all Alexander's fault.
1164
00:45:52,640 --> 00:45:54,688
If he hadn't dropped Trevor's
paci down the disposal...
1165
00:45:54,720 --> 00:45:57,371
I never would have
rehearsed in a cold car and gotten sick.
1166
00:45:57,480 --> 00:45:58,481
That's also your fault.
1167
00:45:58,520 --> 00:46:00,409
KELLY: If you hadn't
left the battery on in my car all night...
1168
00:46:00,480 --> 00:46:01,481
I wouldn't have been late to work...
1169
00:46:01,520 --> 00:46:03,170
and Dick Van Dyke
wouldn't be mad at me.
1170
00:46:03,200 --> 00:46:05,646
Chim Chiminey wants to kill me!
Can you imagine?
1171
00:46:05,680 --> 00:46:08,604
Mom, Trevor was crying!
Where was I supposed to rehearse?
1172
00:46:08,680 --> 00:46:12,002
How were you able
to hit every parking meter on that street?
1173
00:46:12,120 --> 00:46:13,724
When I was in the bathroom
this morning, Mom saw me naked!
1174
00:46:13,800 --> 00:46:15,723
I don't think you left a speck of paint!
1175
00:46:15,800 --> 00:46:18,121
ANTHONY: Her fault!
She's an evil woman.
1176
00:46:18,200 --> 00:46:20,771
Boom, boom, boom,
one right after the other.
1177
00:46:20,880 --> 00:46:22,211
Stop, you guys!
1178
00:46:23,040 --> 00:46:24,451
Okay, stop!
1179
00:46:25,840 --> 00:46:27,524
It was my fault.
1180
00:46:27,560 --> 00:46:30,803
I'm to blame for all of it. For everything.
1181
00:46:30,880 --> 00:46:32,291
Yeah, see? I told you.
1182
00:46:32,360 --> 00:46:33,964
BEN: No, hold on, hold on.
1183
00:46:34,040 --> 00:46:36,281
Alexander, what are you saying?
1184
00:46:36,360 --> 00:46:37,361
Okay, look.
1185
00:46:37,400 --> 00:46:39,846
Last night I made
myself a birthday sundae
1186
00:46:39,880 --> 00:46:41,450
and I made a wish on a candle...
1187
00:46:41,520 --> 00:46:44,808
and I think I cursed this day
for all of you.
1188
00:46:44,880 --> 00:46:46,530
- You did what?
- I'm sorry.
1189
00:46:46,560 --> 00:46:47,846
I just wanted you guys
to know what it was like...
1190
00:46:47,880 --> 00:46:50,724
to have a massively
horrible, terrible day.
1191
00:46:50,760 --> 00:46:52,569
So I wished it...
1192
00:46:52,640 --> 00:46:54,244
and now you're all having one.
1193
00:46:54,280 --> 00:46:55,281
(SNIGGERS)
1194
00:46:55,360 --> 00:46:56,361
BEN: Alexander,
as incredible as it would be...
1195
00:46:56,400 --> 00:46:58,482
for you to have
that kind of supernatural ability...
1196
00:46:58,560 --> 00:46:59,766
I don't think you can
actually curse a day, buddy.
1197
00:46:59,840 --> 00:47:02,047
KELLY: Yeah, sweetie,
this isn't your fault.
1198
00:47:02,080 --> 00:47:03,366
We just bit off
more than we could chew today...
1199
00:47:03,400 --> 00:47:04,561
and it isn't going our way.
1200
00:47:04,600 --> 00:47:06,364
No, look, I did curse the day.
1201
00:47:06,400 --> 00:47:08,880
I don't know how,
but I did, and it worked.
1202
00:47:08,920 --> 00:47:10,570
And now Emily's gonna miss her play...
1203
00:47:10,600 --> 00:47:13,251
and Anthony's not gonna be
able to drive Celia to the prom.
1204
00:47:14,120 --> 00:47:16,566
He's been waiting all year to make out
with her in the back of the van.
1205
00:47:16,600 --> 00:47:18,364
Okay, we don't need to hear that.
1206
00:47:18,400 --> 00:47:20,004
ALEXANDER: Okay, I'm sorry.
1207
00:47:20,640 --> 00:47:22,404
I'm really sorry.
1208
00:47:23,360 --> 00:47:25,761
Just forget my party.
1209
00:47:25,800 --> 00:47:27,723
It'll be a disaster anyway.
1210
00:47:29,560 --> 00:47:31,130
Apology not accepted.
1211
00:47:32,440 --> 00:47:33,441
Look...
1212
00:47:35,240 --> 00:47:39,450
this day is not ruined,
because this day is not over yet.
1213
00:47:39,480 --> 00:47:40,845
Dad, you're so right.
1214
00:47:40,960 --> 00:47:44,123
I may be sick, but there's no way
I'm missing opening night.
1215
00:47:44,160 --> 00:47:45,446
I may have wrecked the van...
1216
00:47:45,480 --> 00:47:48,324
but I'm not missing prom
with Celia. I can't.
1217
00:47:48,400 --> 00:47:52,325
BEN: Look, we are not
going to let this day get the better of us.
1218
00:47:53,040 --> 00:47:56,283
It's like last week at Target
when Dad lost Trevor for 45 minutes.
1219
00:47:56,320 --> 00:47:57,446
- Okay.
- Yeah.
1220
00:47:57,480 --> 00:47:59,244
And the store manager
wanted to call the cops...
1221
00:47:59,280 --> 00:48:01,282
but Dad said, "No!"
1222
00:48:01,320 --> 00:48:02,970
- We found him.
- "We are gonna keep looking."
1223
00:48:03,040 --> 00:48:04,041
We will keep looking for my baby?
1224
00:48:04,120 --> 00:48:05,281
"We will find my baby."
1225
00:48:05,360 --> 00:48:06,646
They sealed the doors. It was fine.
1226
00:48:06,680 --> 00:48:08,648
- What's wrong with you?
- Okay, okay, okay, okay.
1227
00:48:08,680 --> 00:48:09,806
ANTHONY: Okay, guys, okay.
1228
00:48:09,880 --> 00:48:11,803
It's past 3:00, so if we're gonna go,
we gotta do this now.
1229
00:48:11,840 --> 00:48:13,001
Are we ready, Coopers?
1230
00:48:13,080 --> 00:48:15,321
All right! Clap those hands
if you believe in fairies!
1231
00:48:15,400 --> 00:48:16,970
Emily, are you okay?
1232
00:48:17,080 --> 00:48:20,289
Mom! Positivism. Let's do this thing.
1233
00:48:20,320 --> 00:48:21,765
BEN: Get in there, get in there.
1234
00:48:21,800 --> 00:48:23,689
- Buckle, buckle!
- Buckle, buckle!
1235
00:48:25,320 --> 00:48:26,651
Go, go, go, go, go!
1236
00:48:27,720 --> 00:48:30,291
It seems we may
have accidentally given your tux away.
1237
00:48:30,320 --> 00:48:31,401
Well, get it back.
1238
00:48:31,480 --> 00:48:33,482
Sir, I cannot un-tux a client.
1239
00:48:33,520 --> 00:48:35,682
My sister's Peter Pan
and we've got 10 minutes till curtain.
1240
00:48:35,720 --> 00:48:37,484
You better un-tux something.
1241
00:48:39,600 --> 00:48:42,206
There is one option.
You might be able to pull it off.
1242
00:48:43,360 --> 00:48:44,880
All right, fire up. Come on, let's go.
1243
00:48:59,920 --> 00:49:01,206
Coopers on the move!
1244
00:49:01,360 --> 00:49:02,361
We got it.
1245
00:49:02,560 --> 00:49:04,244
All right. Anthony, find a seat.
1246
00:49:05,520 --> 00:49:06,521
Break a leg, Em.
1247
00:49:06,680 --> 00:49:07,727
I'm here!
1248
00:49:07,920 --> 00:49:08,921
Get some more of this.
1249
00:49:09,000 --> 00:49:10,001
Honey? Hon, hon.
1250
00:49:10,880 --> 00:49:14,282
Em. Em. Sweetie,
I think you've had plenty of that.
1251
00:49:15,440 --> 00:49:16,680
It's okay, honey.
1252
00:49:16,720 --> 00:49:18,529
- Peter Pan is here, everybody!
- Excuse me, people.
1253
00:49:18,640 --> 00:49:20,881
- Everybody, Peter's here!
- Excuse us, excuse us.
1254
00:49:20,960 --> 00:49:21,961
- You look so pretty.
- Superstar coming through.
1255
00:49:22,040 --> 00:49:23,041
(SINGING) Superstar
1256
00:49:23,080 --> 00:49:24,570
Excuse me, everyone.
1257
00:49:24,600 --> 00:49:25,601
All right.
1258
00:49:28,640 --> 00:49:30,210
I love your outfit.
1259
00:49:30,800 --> 00:49:31,801
Okay.
1260
00:49:33,720 --> 00:49:35,051
I said 3:00.
1261
00:49:35,080 --> 00:49:37,560
You have no idea
the kind of day we are having.
1262
00:49:37,640 --> 00:49:38,680
It's a miracle we're here.
1263
00:49:38,720 --> 00:49:40,840
Well, you're late,
which is not professional behavior.
1264
00:49:40,880 --> 00:49:42,564
No! And it's not professional...
1265
00:49:42,600 --> 00:49:44,568
because this is an eighth grade
production of <i>Peter</i> Pan.
1266
00:49:44,640 --> 00:49:47,450
And if you could take
one look at our minivan...
1267
00:49:47,520 --> 00:49:49,284
Mr. Brand, I am not somebody
1268
00:49:49,360 --> 00:49:51,328
- that you wanna mess with right now.
- (EMILY BLOWING RASPBERRIES)
1269
00:49:51,400 --> 00:49:52,447
(LAUGHING)
1270
00:49:52,520 --> 00:49:53,965
So grab her some green tights
and a harness...
1271
00:49:54,040 --> 00:49:55,280
and fire up her Tinker Bell!
1272
00:49:55,360 --> 00:49:57,169
WOMAN: As soon as you
have your costumes on...
1273
00:49:57,240 --> 00:49:58,446
go for your hair.
1274
00:49:58,520 --> 00:49:59,726
Way to go, Daddy-O!
1275
00:49:59,760 --> 00:50:01,285
- Break a leg, sweetie.
- Good luck!
1276
00:50:01,360 --> 00:50:03,880
WOMAN: Show's about to start, Emily.
We've got to get you going.
1277
00:50:11,920 --> 00:50:14,924
Everything's under control.
Yeah. You okay?
1278
00:50:15,000 --> 00:50:16,286
Yeah.
1279
00:50:17,360 --> 00:50:18,361
(MUSIC PLAYING)
1280
00:50:21,600 --> 00:50:23,329
- I'm excited about this.
- Yeah.
1281
00:50:23,400 --> 00:50:24,447
It's gonna be great.
1282
00:50:24,520 --> 00:50:25,521
Yeah, I think so.
1283
00:50:30,600 --> 00:50:32,967
Good night, Mother.
Good night, Father.
1284
00:50:33,040 --> 00:50:36,044
Now, you two be quiet
and I'll tell you a story.
1285
00:50:36,120 --> 00:50:37,804
What sort of story?
1286
00:50:37,840 --> 00:50:39,205
GIRL: The best sort.
1287
00:50:39,280 --> 00:50:42,727
One filled with
magic and fairies and savage pirates...
1288
00:50:42,800 --> 00:50:44,131
called Never Never Land.
1289
00:50:44,160 --> 00:50:45,605
Hi, hello!
1290
00:50:45,640 --> 00:50:46,801
(AUDIENCE LAUGHING)
1291
00:50:46,840 --> 00:50:48,126
Whoa! No!
1292
00:50:48,520 --> 00:50:50,682
EMILY: I'm a little boy
named Peter Pan!
1293
00:50:51,840 --> 00:50:53,490
- Hello! How are you?
- KELLY: What's wrong with her?
1294
00:50:53,560 --> 00:50:54,641
It must be the cough syrup.
1295
00:50:54,720 --> 00:50:56,324
So good to see you.
(SCREAMS)
1296
00:50:56,520 --> 00:50:57,646
(ALL GASP)
1297
00:50:57,680 --> 00:50:59,648
Peter Pan is in the house!
1298
00:50:59,720 --> 00:51:01,324
(AUDIENCE GROANING)
1299
00:51:01,400 --> 00:51:02,640
<i>(SINGING) Think of</i> a <i>wonderful
thought</i>
1300
00:51:02,720 --> 00:51:03,960
Get the hook and get her down!
1301
00:51:04,080 --> 00:51:05,320
<i>Any merry little thought</i>
1302
00:51:05,360 --> 00:51:07,442
- Oh, no!
- Hook her down! Hook her!
1303
00:51:07,480 --> 00:51:08,641
I'm floating. I'm floating.
1304
00:51:08,680 --> 00:51:09,681
Get her!
1305
00:51:12,360 --> 00:51:14,647
<i>Reindeer in the sky</i>
1306
00:51:15,160 --> 00:51:16,844
<i>Let go!</i>
1307
00:51:17,040 --> 00:51:18,724
- Get her down!
- Let go of me!
1308
00:51:19,240 --> 00:51:20,480
Let go of me right now!
1309
00:51:21,240 --> 00:51:22,241
<i>Let go!</i>
1310
00:51:23,360 --> 00:51:25,681
<i>Everybody, fly!</i>
1311
00:51:30,320 --> 00:51:31,481
(EMILY LAUGHING)
1312
00:51:31,520 --> 00:51:32,521
(WHOOPING)
1313
00:51:33,520 --> 00:51:35,200
She's okay. She's all right. There she is.
1314
00:51:36,040 --> 00:51:37,280
Ta-da!
1315
00:51:37,840 --> 00:51:40,127
Thank you, everybody. Thank you.
1316
00:51:40,200 --> 00:51:42,680
Oh, my God, Josephine, hi!
1317
00:51:42,720 --> 00:51:44,290
Daniel, hi!
1318
00:51:44,360 --> 00:51:47,842
Hi! Hello, everybody.
Take some pixie dust!
1319
00:51:48,520 --> 00:51:51,205
Thank you, thank you!
1320
00:51:53,960 --> 00:51:56,042
How much cough syrup did she have?
1321
00:51:56,080 --> 00:51:58,048
Clearly, way too much.
1322
00:51:58,080 --> 00:51:59,366
There she is.
1323
00:52:00,560 --> 00:52:02,210
- Hi!
- Hey, honey.
1324
00:52:05,600 --> 00:52:06,761
Wow.
1325
00:52:08,600 --> 00:52:11,410
Well, that was
an incredible thing to watch.
1326
00:52:12,440 --> 00:52:15,205
I think I broke Captain Hook's nose.
1327
00:52:15,280 --> 00:52:17,487
KELLY: Sweetie, it's not your fault.
1328
00:52:18,880 --> 00:52:20,291
We shouldn't have let
you go out there today.
1329
00:52:20,360 --> 00:52:22,567
No, you can't fool around
with medicine, hon.
1330
00:52:22,640 --> 00:52:23,721
Emily. Emily.
1331
00:52:23,760 --> 00:52:25,762
Dude, you crushed it!
1332
00:52:25,840 --> 00:52:27,808
I gotta change into my tux.
1333
00:52:28,680 --> 00:52:30,648
- Mr. Brand?
- Not now.
1334
00:52:31,520 --> 00:52:32,760
Can't speak.
1335
00:52:35,480 --> 00:52:39,246
Honey, it's all going
to be okay. Trust me.
1336
00:52:40,760 --> 00:52:41,761
Love you, Dad.
1337
00:52:42,520 --> 00:52:43,760
Love you, too.
1338
00:52:48,440 --> 00:52:53,128
Okay, sweetie.
Okay, honey. That felt good.
1339
00:52:54,120 --> 00:52:55,246
You get that out.
1340
00:52:55,320 --> 00:52:56,446
Let's go outside and get you some air.
1341
00:52:56,480 --> 00:52:57,845
I'm sorry.
1342
00:52:57,920 --> 00:52:59,570
No, honey, it's fine.
1343
00:52:59,600 --> 00:53:01,090
- KELLY: Okay.
- It's fine.
1344
00:53:04,680 --> 00:53:06,842
- When did she start eating carrots?
- Uh...
1345
00:53:08,440 --> 00:53:12,047
Your sister has excellent aim.
1346
00:53:13,160 --> 00:53:14,161
Can I have another towel?
1347
00:53:14,600 --> 00:53:16,170
Thanks. Oh, man.
1348
00:53:16,240 --> 00:53:17,969
(CELLPHONE RINGING)
1349
00:53:20,040 --> 00:53:21,280
Hello?
1350
00:53:22,200 --> 00:53:23,486
Hey, Greg.
1351
00:53:24,960 --> 00:53:26,644
No, now's a fine time.
1352
00:53:27,640 --> 00:53:28,880
You did?
1353
00:53:29,720 --> 00:53:32,644
No, I'm not surprised.
I thought it was a killer interview also.
1354
00:53:34,040 --> 00:53:35,041
Uh-huh.
1355
00:53:36,280 --> 00:53:39,284
You wanna meet? Okay.
1356
00:53:39,360 --> 00:53:41,328
Well, now actually
isn't a really good time.
1357
00:53:41,360 --> 00:53:43,283
No. No, no, no.
1358
00:53:43,320 --> 00:53:44,731
- Go, go, go!
- Drinks at Nagamaki?
1359
00:53:44,800 --> 00:53:46,404
- Go!
- Could you hold on a second, Greg?
1360
00:53:46,480 --> 00:53:48,482
Alexander, I appreciate
what you're trying to do...
1361
00:53:48,520 --> 00:53:50,124
but our plate is full.
1362
00:53:50,160 --> 00:53:52,288
We got too much
going on tonight, kiddo.
1363
00:53:52,320 --> 00:53:54,482
Dad, curse or no curse...
1364
00:53:54,520 --> 00:53:56,045
just go for it!
1365
00:54:00,840 --> 00:54:02,001
Greg, we're gonna go for it.
1366
00:54:02,040 --> 00:54:04,486
Yeah, I will see you
at Nagamaki later, okay?
1367
00:54:04,560 --> 00:54:09,088
Okay. Good. I look forward to it.
Thanks. Bye-bye.
1368
00:54:09,160 --> 00:54:10,161
Awesome!
1369
00:54:10,200 --> 00:54:12,680
Okay. I reek.
1370
00:54:12,720 --> 00:54:15,803
You do. Oh, look. Wait.
1371
00:54:15,840 --> 00:54:17,251
This looks like your size.
1372
00:54:18,320 --> 00:54:20,482
I'm not going to wear a pirate blouse.
1373
00:54:20,520 --> 00:54:23,285
Pirate or puke, your choice.
1374
00:54:30,120 --> 00:54:31,690
It's okay, Em.
1375
00:54:32,560 --> 00:54:36,360
It took a lot of courage
to fly out on that stage tonight.
1376
00:54:39,040 --> 00:54:41,691
Do you have any idea
how proud we are of you?
1377
00:54:41,880 --> 00:54:45,202
You've always just
put yourself out there.
1378
00:54:45,360 --> 00:54:47,124
You are fearless.
1379
00:54:47,880 --> 00:54:49,962
You're willing
to show the world who you really are.
1380
00:54:50,040 --> 00:54:51,883
That's amazing.
1381
00:54:54,200 --> 00:54:56,328
But if you're ever
about to take the stage on Broadway...
1382
00:54:56,360 --> 00:54:59,489
and you decide to drink
a bottle of cough syrup, give me a call.
1383
00:54:59,560 --> 00:55:00,891
Let me talk you out of it.
1384
00:55:01,200 --> 00:55:04,409
Ladies, care to do some pillaging?
1385
00:55:09,040 --> 00:55:10,804
Okay. All right.
1386
00:55:37,760 --> 00:55:39,364
All right, how did I end up blue?
1387
00:55:39,400 --> 00:55:40,686
Celia's gonna love it.
1388
00:55:40,760 --> 00:55:42,205
It's totally retro.
1389
00:55:42,240 --> 00:55:43,241
Just own it, kiddo.
1390
00:55:43,360 --> 00:55:46,125
You look ridiculous.
1391
00:55:49,080 --> 00:55:50,923
Go get your Duchess, Duke.
1392
00:55:55,120 --> 00:55:56,610
My little boy...
1393
00:55:57,600 --> 00:55:59,329
in a tuxedo, going to prom...
1394
00:56:00,440 --> 00:56:02,124
in sneakers.
1395
00:56:02,760 --> 00:56:04,046
(DOORBELL RINGS)
1396
00:56:04,680 --> 00:56:05,681
(EXHALES)
1397
00:56:12,800 --> 00:56:15,007
Wow. You look amazing.
1398
00:56:15,440 --> 00:56:18,649
What are you wearing?
You look like Willy Wonka.
1399
00:56:19,520 --> 00:56:20,931
I'm trying something different.
1400
00:56:23,640 --> 00:56:25,244
(CAMERA SHUTTERS CLICKING)
1401
00:56:26,000 --> 00:56:27,331
What's going on?
1402
00:56:28,680 --> 00:56:30,284
Oh... (CHUCKLES)
1403
00:56:30,320 --> 00:56:32,527
Yeah, I kind of failed my driver's test.
1404
00:56:34,320 --> 00:56:35,321
Oops.
1405
00:56:52,440 --> 00:56:53,851
You look beautiful, Celia.
1406
00:56:54,600 --> 00:56:55,965
'Course I do.
1407
00:56:56,000 --> 00:56:57,206
Yeah, that's a sick dress.
1408
00:56:58,120 --> 00:57:00,521
I hope this isn't
too much wind for you, Celia.
1409
00:57:00,560 --> 00:57:02,881
It's actually helping
with the vomit smell.
1410
00:57:09,000 --> 00:57:10,490
So is everybody hungry?
1411
00:57:10,520 --> 00:57:12,329
- I am.
- I am.
1412
00:57:12,360 --> 00:57:13,441
They're coming to dinner?
1413
00:57:13,520 --> 00:57:15,522
Don't worry.
They're not gonna sit at our table.
1414
00:57:17,200 --> 00:57:18,645
- How about some music?
- Yes. Yes.
1415
00:57:20,240 --> 00:57:21,241
BEN: Oh.
1416
00:57:22,040 --> 00:57:24,327
No surprise, the radio's broken.
1417
00:57:29,880 --> 00:57:31,848
(IMITATING BUGLE)
1418
00:57:33,120 --> 00:57:34,406
(BOTH IMITATING)
1419
00:57:57,560 --> 00:58:00,404
This is just something
that we do for fun sometimes.
1420
00:58:04,040 --> 00:58:05,724
Figured it'd make you laugh.
1421
00:58:11,240 --> 00:58:12,890
We're going to Nagamaki!
1422
00:58:12,920 --> 00:58:14,684
What? Are you kidding me?
1423
00:58:14,760 --> 00:58:16,762
BEN: Nagamaki!
KELLY: They cook it on the table.
1424
00:58:16,800 --> 00:58:18,370
They cook it right on the table.
1425
00:58:18,400 --> 00:58:19,925
Like a fondue, but not.
1426
00:58:20,720 --> 00:58:23,041
Supposed to be
a very authentic Japanese restaurant.
1427
00:58:30,480 --> 00:58:32,005
(ENGINE HISSES)
1428
00:58:35,080 --> 00:58:36,366
- Be careful.
- Yes, sir.
1429
00:58:36,440 --> 00:58:37,601
Thank you.
1430
00:58:39,000 --> 00:58:41,287
Konnichiwa. Welcome to Nagamaki!
1431
00:58:41,360 --> 00:58:42,441
Table for two, please.
1432
00:58:42,520 --> 00:58:43,601
Right this way.
1433
00:58:45,560 --> 00:58:46,561
There they are.
1434
00:58:46,600 --> 00:58:47,965
(TALKING INDISTINCTLY)
1435
00:58:48,000 --> 00:58:49,001
KELLY: You okay?
1436
00:58:49,280 --> 00:58:50,281
Yeah.
1437
00:58:51,600 --> 00:58:54,365
Honey, come on.
Ben, you're the smartest guy I know.
1438
00:58:54,440 --> 00:58:56,966
You're literally a rocket scientist.
You've got these guys.
1439
00:58:58,280 --> 00:58:59,930
Is it better tucked in?
1440
00:59:01,800 --> 00:59:03,564
You hesitated. Here we go.
1441
00:59:03,640 --> 00:59:05,130
- Go get them, buccaneer.
- Thanks. Bye.
1442
00:59:05,160 --> 00:59:07,527
- Good luck.
- Good luck, good luck.
1443
00:59:10,640 --> 00:59:11,641
Hey, fellas.
1444
00:59:14,440 --> 00:59:16,329
Is that a pirate's blouse?
1445
00:59:18,440 --> 00:59:19,441
Yaar!
1446
00:59:22,240 --> 00:59:23,287
(LAUGHING)
1447
00:59:23,320 --> 00:59:24,890
Yes, it be!
1448
00:59:24,960 --> 00:59:26,121
Yaar-some!
1449
00:59:26,520 --> 00:59:28,329
Climb aboard, matey!
1450
00:59:29,160 --> 00:59:30,241
How's he doing?
1451
00:59:30,320 --> 00:59:31,685
He looks like he's having fun.
1452
00:59:31,760 --> 00:59:32,761
He does?
1453
00:59:32,800 --> 00:59:34,086
They look impressed.
1454
00:59:34,160 --> 00:59:35,321
Oh, good.
1455
00:59:35,400 --> 00:59:38,643
That is exactly what I am talking about.
You have multi-players...
1456
00:59:38,760 --> 00:59:40,285
<i>Survivor-style.</i>
1457
00:59:40,320 --> 00:59:41,810
It's Survivor on a space station.
1458
00:59:41,840 --> 00:59:43,080
That's so cool. Multi-player.
What do you think?
1459
00:59:43,160 --> 00:59:44,650
- Yoshi's gonna flip.
- It would be sick.
1460
00:59:44,680 --> 00:59:45,841
LOGAN: To Ben.
1461
00:59:46,360 --> 00:59:47,566
The space pirates.
1462
00:59:47,640 --> 00:59:48,880
- Space pirates.
- Space pirate.
1463
00:59:56,320 --> 00:59:58,368
Are you sure you're not adopted?
1464
00:59:59,680 --> 01:00:01,842
You should try a shrimp.
They're really good.
1465
01:00:01,880 --> 01:00:03,041
I'm allergic to shrimp.
1466
01:00:03,840 --> 01:00:06,002
You should know
what your girlfriend's allergic to.
1467
01:00:07,200 --> 01:00:08,326
Yeah, sorry.
1468
01:00:09,680 --> 01:00:10,886
X-O-X-O?
1469
01:00:12,240 --> 01:00:15,528
Anthony, I just can't believe, on the most
important night of our lives...
1470
01:00:15,560 --> 01:00:17,881
you brought me to a place
where I have to watch my food...
1471
01:00:17,960 --> 01:00:19,450
get cooked in front of me.
1472
01:00:19,520 --> 01:00:21,170
Who goes to Nagamaki
before the prom?
1473
01:00:22,080 --> 01:00:23,570
HOPE: It's so amazing, okay?
1474
01:00:23,680 --> 01:00:26,047
Look! It's Hope and Dale
and Heather and Dave!
1475
01:00:26,120 --> 01:00:28,088
Hey, guys-.
1476
01:00:28,160 --> 01:00:29,924
Hey, Celia. What's up, Anthony?
1477
01:00:30,000 --> 01:00:31,365
(KISSING)
1478
01:00:31,480 --> 01:00:33,050
O-M-G! You look beautiful.
1479
01:00:33,120 --> 01:00:34,610
- Love it.
- Thanks.
1480
01:00:34,680 --> 01:00:36,409
Don't you guys just love this place?
1481
01:00:36,480 --> 01:00:37,766
Totally. I die for it.
1482
01:00:38,200 --> 01:00:41,044
Oh, my God, me too.
I'll catch you guys later?
1483
01:00:41,120 --> 01:00:42,201
Okay.
1484
01:00:45,200 --> 01:00:47,601
(CHANTING) Space pirate!
Space pirate! Space pirate!
1485
01:00:48,480 --> 01:00:50,209
(ALL CONTINUE CHANTING)
1486
01:00:54,480 --> 01:00:56,369
Sake bomb!
1487
01:00:57,840 --> 01:00:59,604
It sounds like it couldn't be going better.
1488
01:01:01,080 --> 01:01:03,367
Chef Ananda! Shrimp me.
1489
01:01:05,560 --> 01:01:06,561
ALL: Oh!
1490
01:01:08,360 --> 01:01:09,361
You ready?
1491
01:01:09,400 --> 01:01:10,606
Yeah, I'm ready.
1492
01:01:14,800 --> 01:01:16,006
One! That was one.
1493
01:01:16,680 --> 01:01:17,761
Yeah!
1494
01:01:17,840 --> 01:01:18,841
Fire it up!
1495
01:01:19,400 --> 01:01:20,561
ALL: Three!
1496
01:01:21,080 --> 01:01:22,081
ALL: Four!
1497
01:01:22,160 --> 01:01:23,161
BEN: Keep it going.
1498
01:01:23,600 --> 01:01:24,761
ALL: Five!
1499
01:01:25,480 --> 01:01:26,561
ALL: Six!
1500
01:01:27,720 --> 01:01:28,801
ALL: Seven!
1501
01:01:29,600 --> 01:01:30,761
Eight!
1502
01:01:31,800 --> 01:01:33,086
Nine!
1503
01:01:34,120 --> 01:01:35,121
Ten!
1504
01:01:35,160 --> 01:01:36,446
(CHEERING)
1505
01:01:48,160 --> 01:01:49,366
Mom, Dad's on fire!
1506
01:01:49,440 --> 01:01:50,441
<i>I</i> hope so!
1507
01:01:50,480 --> 01:01:52,084
No, no, no. He's really on fire!
1508
01:01:52,600 --> 01:01:53,601
(SCREAMING)
1509
01:01:54,320 --> 01:01:55,890
Drop and roll, Ben. Drop and roll.
1510
01:01:56,160 --> 01:01:57,161
Drop and roll!
1511
01:01:57,920 --> 01:01:59,001
Stop, drop and roll, honey.
1512
01:01:59,080 --> 01:02:00,081
Dad?
1513
01:02:17,960 --> 01:02:20,645
I still have me arms!
1514
01:02:29,760 --> 01:02:30,761
(CHUCKLES)
1515
01:02:35,320 --> 01:02:36,731
Thank you for your time.
1516
01:02:41,960 --> 01:02:46,648
Nice job, you really nailed it.
Really nailed it, Ben!
1517
01:02:46,680 --> 01:02:50,241
You know who you are?
You're the flaming pirate of Nagamaki!
1518
01:02:50,320 --> 01:02:51,560
(GRUNTING)
1519
01:02:52,000 --> 01:02:53,650
- Thank you!
- Whoa!
1520
01:02:54,040 --> 01:02:55,724
- Dad!
- Hey, guys.
1521
01:02:56,360 --> 01:02:57,441
Are you okay?
1522
01:02:57,760 --> 01:03:00,445
Yeah! I'm good.
1523
01:03:01,040 --> 01:03:02,690
I'm fine.
1524
01:03:03,240 --> 01:03:04,241
(BEN LAUGHING)
1525
01:03:06,120 --> 01:03:07,281
It's all good.
1526
01:03:09,240 --> 01:03:10,241
It's all good.
1527
01:03:13,120 --> 01:03:14,201
Dad...
1528
01:03:14,240 --> 01:03:17,722
you don't always
have to steer your ship with positivity!
1529
01:03:17,760 --> 01:03:20,161
You keep us up
and we really appreciate it.
1530
01:03:20,200 --> 01:03:22,487
But some days are just bad.
1531
01:03:23,560 --> 01:03:24,925
Nothing can fix it.
1532
01:03:26,040 --> 01:03:27,041
Trust me.
1533
01:03:27,800 --> 01:03:28,847
I would know.
1534
01:03:29,840 --> 01:03:31,490
At least we're all together now.
1535
01:03:35,800 --> 01:03:37,484
It's my job to take care of you guys.
1536
01:03:40,160 --> 01:03:41,924
And, make sure
you don't have bad days.
1537
01:03:42,480 --> 01:03:45,131
- And when you do, it's on me!
- KELLY: Ben.
1538
01:03:45,720 --> 01:03:46,801
ALEXANDER: I think that you just...
1539
01:03:47,120 --> 01:03:51,569
got to have the bad days so you can
love the good days even more.
1540
01:03:54,280 --> 01:03:56,408
This day has been terrible!
1541
01:03:57,600 --> 01:03:58,761
Terrible day.
1542
01:03:59,600 --> 01:04:01,250
Yeah! A horrible day!
1543
01:04:02,520 --> 01:04:03,806
A no-good...
1544
01:04:05,240 --> 01:04:06,526
Very bad day!
1545
01:04:09,480 --> 01:04:10,720
(SIGHS)
1546
01:04:12,360 --> 01:04:13,885
You know what I think?
1547
01:04:14,720 --> 01:04:17,405
I think this day sucks!
1548
01:04:17,440 --> 01:04:18,487
Yes! It does.
1549
01:04:18,560 --> 01:04:19,561
Thank you!
1550
01:04:21,440 --> 01:04:23,090
I love you guys.
1551
01:04:23,120 --> 01:04:24,121
Come here.
1552
01:04:25,600 --> 01:04:26,886
ALEXANDER: Ow!
1553
01:04:26,960 --> 01:04:28,041
<i>(GIGGLING)</i>
1554
01:04:28,120 --> 01:04:29,326
Can't breathe!
1555
01:04:29,680 --> 01:04:31,364
- You sure?
- Yeah, totally. Come with us.
1556
01:04:31,440 --> 01:04:34,569
Okay, cool. All right, so, good news.
They have room...
1557
01:04:34,640 --> 01:04:36,080
and they said we could go with them.
1558
01:04:38,800 --> 01:04:39,926
Uh...
1559
01:04:39,960 --> 01:04:41,041
I don't know.
1560
01:04:42,320 --> 01:04:43,640
What do you mean, you don't know?
1561
01:04:44,160 --> 01:04:47,369
We're not going in some busted-up
minivan with your crazy family.
1562
01:04:50,000 --> 01:04:51,240
You know what, go without me.
1563
01:04:52,480 --> 01:04:53,561
Excuse me?
1564
01:04:53,840 --> 01:04:56,207
You want me to go
to the prom without you?
1565
01:04:56,720 --> 01:04:58,688
ANTHONY: Yes. That's what I want.
1566
01:04:59,320 --> 01:05:00,845
I'm sticking with my family tonight.
1567
01:05:01,520 --> 01:05:03,807
You're choosing them over me?
1568
01:05:05,200 --> 01:05:07,043
Yes, Celia. I am.
1569
01:05:07,120 --> 01:05:08,326
Because they're my family.
1570
01:05:08,360 --> 01:05:10,641
And if they're crazy,
then I guess it makes me crazy, too.
1571
01:05:11,880 --> 01:05:13,530
Have fun at the prom, Duchess.
1572
01:05:15,160 --> 01:05:16,491
What are you doing?
1573
01:05:17,920 --> 01:05:19,570
(GRUNTS) Forget it.
1574
01:05:20,720 --> 01:05:22,051
So, what? No prom?
1575
01:05:22,800 --> 01:05:25,121
It's junior prom. The real one's next year.
1576
01:05:25,640 --> 01:05:27,130
What about Celia?
1577
01:05:28,000 --> 01:05:30,651
I realized there's
more important things than Celia.
1578
01:05:31,840 --> 01:05:33,842
- You sure?
- Very.
1579
01:05:34,120 --> 01:05:35,281
Good to have you on board.
1580
01:05:35,360 --> 01:05:36,361
Thanks, Dad.
1581
01:05:39,560 --> 01:05:40,607
What was that for?
1582
01:05:41,040 --> 01:05:42,520
I didn't wish you happy birthday yet.
1583
01:05:55,040 --> 01:05:57,805
<i>(SINGING) When there's</i>
a <i>smile in your heart</i>
1584
01:05:57,880 --> 01:06:00,804
<i>There's no better way to start</i>
1585
01:06:00,880 --> 01:06:04,646
<i>Think of all the joy you'll find</i>
1586
01:06:04,720 --> 01:06:07,041
<i>When you leave your past behind</i>
1587
01:06:28,320 --> 01:06:29,765
(ALL SCREAMING)
1588
01:06:35,400 --> 01:06:36,561
How did he get in there?
1589
01:06:36,600 --> 01:06:37,886
It's okay.
1590
01:06:41,000 --> 01:06:42,240
ALEXANDER: Dad, be careful.
1591
01:06:48,280 --> 01:06:49,850
BEN: There it goes.
1592
01:06:50,280 --> 01:06:51,406
It's okay.
1593
01:06:52,360 --> 01:06:53,566
Stay behind me.
1594
01:06:58,440 --> 01:06:59,680
Wow.
1595
01:07:05,520 --> 01:07:07,329
Guys, there is a kangaroo out there.
1596
01:07:09,160 --> 01:07:10,321
And an emu.
1597
01:07:10,600 --> 01:07:12,284
And a cockatoo.
1598
01:07:12,680 --> 01:07:14,364
And a wallaby.
1599
01:07:15,040 --> 01:07:16,929
EMILY: Wow,
you really know your animals.
1600
01:07:16,960 --> 01:07:19,201
Yeah, they're all Australian.
What's going on?
1601
01:07:19,280 --> 01:07:21,886
I don't think they were
meant to be presented in quite this way.
1602
01:07:21,960 --> 01:07:23,166
- No.
- MAN: Hi!
1603
01:07:23,800 --> 01:07:25,086
You must be the Coopers.
1604
01:07:25,480 --> 01:07:28,643
Hey, yeah!
This was supposed to be a petting zoo?
1605
01:07:28,680 --> 01:07:30,887
A confined Australian petting zoo.
1606
01:07:31,320 --> 01:07:33,846
Yeah, it is. One of the pens was
open and the kangaroo got out.
1607
01:07:33,920 --> 01:07:35,570
Oh, yeah, the kangaroo.
1608
01:07:35,640 --> 01:07:37,688
There was also a crocodile
in our entry hall.
1609
01:07:38,640 --> 01:07:40,244
So sorry about that.
1610
01:07:40,320 --> 01:07:42,448
We had him in the pool,
and we got distracted.
1611
01:07:42,480 --> 01:07:44,801
You don't have to worry about it.
I'll put him back in the pen.
1612
01:07:44,840 --> 01:07:46,330
Okay, you got him from here on out?
1613
01:07:46,360 --> 01:07:48,169
- Yeah!
- Okay, great. Thanks.
1614
01:07:48,200 --> 01:07:49,326
We got you, Mr. Cooper.
1615
01:07:49,840 --> 01:07:51,205
- It'll be fine, right?
- Yeah.
1616
01:07:51,280 --> 01:07:52,645
- I don't think he's gonna get out again.
- No.
1617
01:07:52,720 --> 01:07:54,484
You guys did all of this for me?
1618
01:07:55,000 --> 01:07:58,527
Yeah! Your mom and I thought you
might enjoy a night in the Outback.
1619
01:08:02,680 --> 01:08:04,011
You can pet him if you want.
1620
01:08:04,360 --> 01:08:05,407
His name's Winston.
1621
01:08:06,120 --> 01:08:07,121
Hello, Winston.
1622
01:08:14,440 --> 01:08:15,851
This is amazing.
1623
01:08:16,600 --> 01:08:19,365
Okay, guys?
We've got guests coming any minute.
1624
01:08:19,400 --> 01:08:20,890
So here's what we have to do.
1625
01:08:20,960 --> 01:08:23,611
Emily, you're on music.
Anthony, fire up the barbie.
1626
01:08:23,680 --> 01:08:25,409
Mom, snacks.
1627
01:08:25,480 --> 01:08:26,970
Alexander, why don't
you help Mom keep
1628
01:08:27,000 --> 01:08:28,650
Trevor away from
anything that will eat him?
1629
01:08:28,680 --> 01:08:30,603
Baby safety. 10-4.
1630
01:08:30,680 --> 01:08:32,205
BEN: I think we're all good now.
1631
01:08:32,240 --> 01:08:33,366
Super Coopers!
1632
01:08:33,400 --> 01:08:34,401
ALL: Super Coopers!
1633
01:08:34,480 --> 01:08:36,209
Lenny! Get back here.
1634
01:08:36,280 --> 01:08:37,486
Lenny! Someone get him!
1635
01:08:38,000 --> 01:08:39,570
- I am on it!
- Ben!
1636
01:08:39,640 --> 01:08:41,051
Lenny!
1637
01:08:41,080 --> 01:08:42,206
- Ben!
- ANTHONY: Dad?
1638
01:08:42,240 --> 01:08:43,341
Lenny!
1639
01:08:53,080 --> 01:08:54,081
Okay!
1640
01:09:05,880 --> 01:09:07,245
That was pretty good!
1641
01:09:13,440 --> 01:09:14,726
Where are you?
1642
01:09:16,760 --> 01:09:17,966
Where are you?
1643
01:09:29,960 --> 01:09:31,086
Hey!
1644
01:09:31,760 --> 01:09:33,091
Hey there...
1645
01:09:33,400 --> 01:09:34,765
Party kangaroo.
1646
01:09:35,800 --> 01:09:36,801
I'm Ben...
1647
01:09:37,240 --> 01:09:40,722
and I want you to join me...
1648
01:09:40,760 --> 01:09:41,966
back at the party.
1649
01:09:43,160 --> 01:09:44,207
(GRUNTS)
1650
01:09:46,480 --> 01:09:47,561
Yeah!
1651
01:09:47,600 --> 01:09:48,965
Nice work, Mr. Cooper.
1652
01:09:49,040 --> 01:09:50,087
Thank you, Dwayne.
1653
01:09:50,120 --> 01:09:51,929
Come here, Lenny. Here we go.
1654
01:09:57,320 --> 01:09:58,651
What's up, man?
1655
01:10:01,280 --> 01:10:02,520
Pretty cool, huh?
1656
01:10:02,600 --> 01:10:04,329
This party's gonna be killer, dude.
1657
01:10:04,640 --> 01:10:05,641
Hey, guys!
1658
01:10:06,440 --> 01:10:08,090
Your dad is hardcore!
1659
01:10:30,320 --> 01:10:31,685
Dude, did you see that?
1660
01:10:36,800 --> 01:10:38,450
- Hey! Hey!
- G'day.
1661
01:10:38,480 --> 01:10:40,244
You must be my Australian cowboys.
1662
01:10:40,320 --> 01:10:42,129
- We sure are.
- Awesome!
1663
01:10:42,160 --> 01:10:44,891
Wow! You guys are in good shape.
1664
01:10:45,400 --> 01:10:47,004
- (HUMMING)
- (CELLPHONE RINGING)
1665
01:10:48,720 --> 01:10:50,370
(RINGING CONTINUES)
1666
01:10:53,800 --> 01:10:55,006
Hey, Nina, how are you?
1667
01:10:56,880 --> 01:10:58,325
It's the video game guys!
1668
01:10:58,880 --> 01:10:59,920
- (MOUTHING)
- BEN: Uh-huh.
1669
01:11:00,960 --> 01:11:02,485
- Yeah.
- No, it's a great time to talk.
1670
01:11:02,520 --> 01:11:05,524
No. Just a little bit of the hair
was singed.
1671
01:11:05,560 --> 01:11:08,211
- Really?
- I know.
1672
01:11:08,240 --> 01:11:09,685
I know that was a lot of shrimp!
1673
01:11:12,760 --> 01:11:13,761
Dude!
1674
01:11:18,240 --> 01:11:19,241
Hey, you came!
1675
01:11:20,000 --> 01:11:21,240
Happy birthday!
1676
01:11:23,560 --> 01:11:24,721
This looks amazing!
1677
01:11:24,840 --> 01:11:26,490
Yeah, thanks.
1678
01:11:28,760 --> 01:11:31,331
Look, this has been
a really, really crazy day.
1679
01:11:32,240 --> 01:11:34,049
Looks like it turned out
pretty good to me.
1680
01:11:34,400 --> 01:11:35,401
Yeah.
1681
01:11:37,240 --> 01:11:38,651
Have a good weekend, Nina...
1682
01:11:38,720 --> 01:11:39,926
Have a good weekend, Greg.
1683
01:11:40,000 --> 01:11:41,764
- And thank you for everything.
- Thank you for your call.
1684
01:11:41,840 --> 01:11:42,841
Thanks.
1685
01:11:46,480 --> 01:11:48,005
How are you? How was that call?
1686
01:11:48,880 --> 01:11:50,530
It was great. I got the job!
1687
01:11:51,200 --> 01:11:52,486
- You got the job?
- Yeah.
1688
01:11:53,040 --> 01:11:54,326
It's fantastic!
1689
01:11:54,400 --> 01:11:56,289
They thought I was fun!
1690
01:11:56,360 --> 01:11:57,361
Even after you singed your arms...
1691
01:11:57,400 --> 01:11:59,050
Even after the thing and the thing.
1692
01:11:59,080 --> 01:12:00,320
"I still have me arms"?
1693
01:12:00,400 --> 01:12:02,562
I was a fiery pirate! They loved it!
1694
01:12:02,800 --> 01:12:04,131
(LAUGHS)
1695
01:12:04,200 --> 01:12:05,201
Wow!
1696
01:12:05,680 --> 01:12:07,170
You know what the best thing is?
1697
01:12:07,560 --> 01:12:09,324
As long as I'm getting the work done...
1698
01:12:09,400 --> 01:12:11,129
I can make my own hours.
1699
01:12:11,200 --> 01:12:14,090
I'll be able to still do carpool
and see the kids all the time.
1700
01:12:14,880 --> 01:12:16,962
Wow, I am so happy for you.
1701
01:12:17,040 --> 01:12:20,010
What about you?
What about your call? How did it go?
1702
01:12:20,080 --> 01:12:22,287
Dick Van Dyke's reading went viral.
1703
01:12:22,360 --> 01:12:23,885
500,000 hits today.
1704
01:12:24,240 --> 01:12:25,605
You're kidding me.
1705
01:12:25,640 --> 01:12:27,483
Nina says the book
is gonna be huge.
1706
01:12:27,560 --> 01:12:28,925
That is fantastic, sweetie!
1707
01:12:28,960 --> 01:12:29,961
Yeah...
1708
01:12:30,040 --> 01:12:31,201
it's great!
1709
01:12:41,960 --> 01:12:44,611
KELLY: I cannot believe
we pulled this party off.
1710
01:12:45,240 --> 01:12:47,129
We really turned this day around.
1711
01:12:50,360 --> 01:12:51,964
(MUSIC PLAYING)
1712
01:12:54,920 --> 01:12:56,001
What's that?
1713
01:13:02,360 --> 01:13:03,361
BEN: What are they doing?
1714
01:13:07,240 --> 01:13:09,004
That's the Thunder from Down Under.
1715
01:13:09,080 --> 01:13:10,969
They're supposed to be
authentic Australian cowboys.
1716
01:13:11,000 --> 01:13:12,001
KELLY: They're not.
1717
01:13:12,440 --> 01:13:13,487
No, no, no!
1718
01:13:13,800 --> 01:13:15,564
Guys? Guys, PG!
1719
01:13:15,640 --> 01:13:16,971
PG! Keep it PG!
1720
01:13:17,320 --> 01:13:18,560
Please!
1721
01:13:19,760 --> 01:13:21,330
(LAUGHS) Oh, no.
1722
01:13:32,160 --> 01:13:33,321
(ALL CHEERING)
1723
01:13:53,000 --> 01:13:56,846
ALL: (CHANTING) Go, Alex!
Go, Alex! Go, Alex! Go, Alex!
1724
01:14:04,200 --> 01:14:10,321
<i>(SINGING) Happy birthday to you
Happy birthday to you</i>
1725
01:14:10,360 --> 01:14:12,328
<i>ALEXANDER: After today, I know that...</i>
1726
01:14:12,360 --> 01:14:14,362
<i>even terrible days aren't so bad</i>
1727
01:14:14,440 --> 01:14:16,363
<i>when you're surrounded
by the people you love.</i>
1728
01:14:16,840 --> 01:14:17,966
Make a wish, kiddo.
1729
01:14:18,040 --> 01:14:19,201
<i>Because it turns out...</i>
1730
01:14:19,240 --> 01:14:20,730
<i>the worse things</i> are...
1731
01:14:20,760 --> 01:14:22,410
<i>the better this family gets.</i>
1732
01:14:22,880 --> 01:14:24,166
To more days like this.
1733
01:14:24,360 --> 01:14:25,361
ALL: No!
1734
01:14:25,400 --> 01:14:27,323
- What are you talking about?
- Okay, okay.
1735
01:14:27,360 --> 01:14:29,522
<i>For us, this bad</i> day...
1736
01:14:29,560 --> 01:14:31,005
<i>was the best day ever!</i>
|