Alfie 2004 . English subtitles. Субтитры к фильму на английском языке.

{1620}{1663}You?re lucky, you know.
{1669}{1747}l rarely allow anyone into my flat.
{1756}{1840}l know, l know, l know.
{1846}{1894}Humble digs.
{1900}{1979}Not exactly what you?d call|a "panty peeler."
{2017}{2061}Do you know what I mean?
{2110}{2171}But it suits me just fine.
{2177}{2266}To be honest, I rareIy spend a night|in my own bed anyway.
{2307}{2346}You see, here?s my theory:
{2352}{2425}For most women, if a guy?s|a good provider
{2431}{2536}and generaIIy a nice chap, six-pack|abs reaIIy aren?t a deaI-breaker.
{2542}{2580}On the fIip side, however,
{2586}{2638}even though the PC boyfriend|sat next to you
{2644}{2706}with his arm sIung around|your shouIder wiII deny it...
{2720}{2838}And he wiII deny it. For us boys,|it?s aII about F.B.B.
{2920}{3010}Face. Boobs. Bum.
{3016}{3056}I?m just being honest.
{3069}{3142}It?s been said that cIothes|speak the internationaI Ianguage.
{3148}{3227}And I have to admit,|I?m a bit of a fashion whore.
{3242}{3318}UnfortunateIy, today I?ve got work,|and I have to tone it down a IittIe bit,
{3324}{3399}but that?s aII right. Gucci.|End-of-summer saIe.
{3405}{3514}Very understated.|And I can easiIy spice it up with...
{3528}{3597}What? No, no. I know|what you are thinking.
{3603}{3655}If you ooze mascuIinity,|Iike some of us do,
{3661}{3739}you have no reason to fear pink.|Smashing.
{3773}{3856}Now, in the coIogne department,|most men overdo it.
{3862}{3964}Americans practicaIIy spray it on|with a crop-duster.
{3970}{4050}My ruIe: Nothing above the neck,
{4056}{4139}though I do Iike a IittIe spIash|on Big Ben.
{4148}{4204}You never know|where the day may take you.
{4282}{4327}AImost forgot.
{4346}{4379}New word for the day.
{4422}{4574}??Ostentatious: The attempt|to attract attention to oneseIf. ??
{4580}{4639}Who? Me?
{4694}{4771}Oh, bIimey. I?m so rude.|I haven?t introduced myseIf.
{4777}{4834}- I?m...|- AIfie?
{4848}{4902}There you go. AIfie.
{4908}{5024}Are you the IittIe eIf that Ieft these|mocha bonbons on my doorstep?
{5030}{5119}No, no, no. You must have|a secret admirer, Mrs Schnitman.
{5125}{5220}You are such a doII, AIfie.|But I?m supposed to be on a diet.
{5226}{5250}Oh, on a diet?
{5256}{5284}- A diet.|- You?
{5290}{5347}- Yeah.|- Now, I don?t mean to be forward, Lu,
{5353}{5445}but you shouId know by now|that a fuII-figured girI Iike yourseIf
{5450}{5518}- is every guy?s secret fantasy.|- Stop it.
{5523}{5583}So she?s a tub of Iard.|The ship?s aIready saiIed,
{5589}{5646}so why not make her|feeI good about herseIf, right?
{5652}{5695}- Oh, Lu?|- Yes, angeI?
{5701}{5726}I?m working the night spot,
{5731}{5792}and my apartment is a horror show,|so I?m sorry if I keep you up
{5798}{5861}- with the dust-busting at 2 a. m.|- Oh, don?t you worry.
{5867}{5943}- I?II give it a quick straighten.|- Oh, no, no, you don?t need to that.
{5949}{6037}Nonsense.|I Iike doing things for you, AIfie.
{6048}{6117}I?m a bIessed man|having you in my Iife.
{6165}{6192}Thank you.
{6204}{6257}Keys are in the usuaI spot.
{6400}{6467}Now, back home, you?re always|hearing tales about some bloke
{6473}{6548}migrating to the States and winding|up with buckets of money.
{6554}{6657}So not long ago, l packed up|my bucket and headed west.
{6663}{6732}Now, I must admit,|I had a second motive.
{6750}{6867}I?d aIways been toId that the most|beautifuI women in the worId...
{6895}{6935}...resided in Manhattan.
{6941}{7021}And when it comes to shagging birds,|it?s aII about one thing:
{7034}{7152}Location, Iocation, Iocation.
{7158}{7225}God, l love this city.|AII right, girIs.
{7242}{7343}Just look around. l mean,|every one of them, unique, special,
{7349}{7394}like snowflakes.
{7462}{7495}And with such a pIethora...
{7510}{7611}CaIendar word meaning "abundance,"|of gorgeousness and diversity,
{7617}{7714}weII, how couId a man ever choose|to settIe down with just one?
{7749}{7827}I myseIf subscribe more|to the European phiIosophy of Iife.
{7833}{7914}My priorities Ieaning towards|wine, women...
{7920}{7971}WeII, actuaIIy, that?s about it.
{7977}{8023}Wine and women.
{8074}{8178}AIthough, women and women|is aIways a fun option.
{8253}{8289}So...
{8307}{8370}...to Iive Iife to the fuIIest,
{8392}{8481}I require onIy enough|to cover my modest expenses.
{8509}{8591}I?ve no desire to be the richest stiff|in the cemetery.
{8835}{8917}I think this might just be my|favourite position.
{8923}{8985}I know it was President Kennedy?s.
{9012}{9064}He was such a great Ieader.
{9070}{9127}Of course, JFK used the oId|bad-back excuse,
{9133}{9207}but if you ask me, he knew|it gave you maximum pIeasure
{9213}{9248}with minimum exertion.
{9254}{9320}What is it about the back of a Iimo?
{9427}{9480}ObIigatory cuddIing.
{9493}{9538}Thousand one,
{9544}{9597}thousand two...
{9603}{9710}Cripes. Hey, I?ve gotta get cracking.|I?ve got a 10:00 pickup.
{9716}{9842}You better hurry up.|You don?t want to keep her waiting.
{9972}{10034}Quite the number, isn?t she?
{10053}{10170}Yet, she teIIs me her oId man|hasn?t shagged her in six months.
{10185}{10288}Six months. I mean, thank God|there are gentIemen Iike me around
{10294}{10343}to pick up the sIack.
{10353}{10441}Just Iook at her.|Legs Iike a racehorse.
{10447}{10543}Perfect yoga bum. I give her|my highest grade:
{10554}{10597}A-minus.
{10845}{10894}Where did we teII the oId man|we were going tonight?
{10900}{10967}- A movie.|- Treasure, pIease, no, no, no.
{10973}{11043}Stop messing about.|You?II ruin my presets.
{11049}{11109}- Sorry.|- What movie?
{11115}{11176}I don?t know. What?s the difference?
{11188}{11299}The difference is, the more detaiI|you give, the Iess interested he?II be.
{11305}{11348}It wouIdn?t matter what I said.
{11359}{11403}It wouId never occur to PhiI|that another man
{11409}{11453}- wouId ever Iook twice at me.|- Dor, darIing,
{11459}{11486}you fishing for a compIiment?
{11496}{11524}No.
{11530}{11639}You shouId know by now they onIy|come from me when Ieast expected.
{11665}{11751}Now, come and have a mint so PhiI|doesn?t smeII the AIfie on your breath.
{11757}{11820}I don?t care if he does.
{11834}{11936}There?s one thing that puts me|off marriage: It?s married women.
{11946}{11997}Dorie doesn?t know it yet,
{12009}{12068}but you won?t be seeing|much more of her.
{12074}{12137}I?ve got that aII-too-famiIiar feeIing.
{12143}{12251}Sooner or Iater, she?II be wanting|a IittIe bit more than I?m abIe to give.
{12284}{12340}WouIdn?t it be great if I was|going home with you tonight
{12346}{12408}instead of PhiI the PiII?
{12422}{12461}Yeah.
{12473}{12558}lt?s definitely time|to stage a disappearing act.
{12623}{12706}So next Tuesday,|same time, same pIace?
{12743}{12827}I?m sorry, Iove, it?s Fashion Week.|I?m booked doubIe shifts.
{12848}{12915}- I?II caII you the instant things Iet up.|- Okay.
{12934}{13028}In the meantime, I Ieft you|a IittIe souvenir to remember me by.
{13134}{13175}Oh, Dor?
{13222}{13325}Your derri?re Iooks reaIIy rather|ravishing from this vantage point.
{13391}{13426}See?
{13443}{13522}A compIiment when Ieast expected.
{13684}{13773}What can I say?|Happy as a pup with two taiIs.
{13820}{13901}And I think I?ve done oId PhiI|a bit of a favour too.
{13907}{13955}Of course, he?d be the Iast to see it.
{14023}{14104}Never expect any thanks in this Iife.
{14110}{14210}You know what I mean?|So Tuesday...
{14259}{14307}...10:03 p.m.
{14313}{14430}Do I drag myseIf home|to a coId fIat, empty fridge,
{14436}{14607}or nip across town for a hot bath,|warm body, breakfast in bed?
{14681}{14748}Decisions, decisions...
{14948}{15033}Yeah, l think l?ll pay a visit|to my semi-regular,
{15039}{15116}quasi, sort of girlfriend.
{15146}{15197}My sweet Julie.
{15336}{15388}Let me guess.|Unexpected Iast-minute fare.
{15394}{15471}Yeah. She had me going|up and down for hours.
{15477}{15564}That supposed to be funny?|Because it is so very...
{15582}{15621}Not.
{15641}{15678}Hey!
{15702}{15757}I?m not kidding, AIfie!
{15766}{15803}I?m not kidding. I hate you sometimes.
{15808}{15852}You have a very ostentatious way|of showing it.
{15858}{15900}Yeah, I sure do.
{15950}{16072}No, darIing. Can we hit pause?|I just need a second to unwind.
{16089}{16160}Oh, I nicked haIf a bottIe|of StoIi from the Iimo.
{16166}{16200}How do you want yours,|on the rocks?
{16206}{16268}I just want my usuaI, AIfie. Straight up.
{16274}{16352}No, I?m so totaIIy knackered.|I?II make it up to you in the morning.
{16358}{16410}Cross my heart.
{16427}{16538}But tonight, aII I?m good for|is a bite to eat, hot bath
{16544}{16594}and a nice Iong sIeep.
{16921}{16975}You know, this isn?t|a HoIiday Inn, AIfie.
{17007}{17047}What?s that again?
{17067}{17129}Where were you tonight? ReaIIy?
{17135}{17194}You?ve got to open a restaurant.|That?s seriousIy deIicious.
{17200}{17268}Thanks, AIfie. It?s just chiIIi.
{17295}{17328}Hey.
{17353}{17423}A IittIe eye contact, pIease.
{17466}{17511}We have something here,
{17524}{17643}or am I just a gIorified booty caII?
{17661}{17695}Hey.
{17767}{17801}Hey.
{17872}{17918}Here?s what she?s reaIIy saying:
{17924}{18022}She wants me to commit.|TransIation: Become ??domestified. ??
{18028}{18155}Now, it doesn?t do to become|dependent on anybody in this Iife.
{18238}{18324}Change your nature,|you?re a dead man.
{18365}{18412}ChiIIi, pIease.
{18537}{18611}Don?t get me wrong.|She?s adorabIe.
{18617}{18704}Cute? AbsoIuteIy.|But is it ever enough?
{18755}{18831}I toId you how we men are.|We want showstoppers.
{18840}{18905}And the probIem is,|JuIie hasn?t got enough
{18910}{18975}of the superficiaI things|that reaIIy matter.
{19056}{19142}- I don?t deserve you.|- Yeah, that?s probabIy true.
{19170}{19231}Too bad I Iove you.
{19278}{19321}Thanks, babe.
{19327}{19404}- AIfie, AIfie...|- What?
{19425}{19490}You?re giving me the "Thanks, babe."
{19503}{19554}You?re giving me the "Thanks, baby."
{19560}{19612}- CaIm down.|- Don?t teII me to caIm down!
{19621}{19660}- I know how you feeI!|- Wait a minute.
{19666}{19725}- You?re gonna wake up...|- Max.
{19752}{19809}Hey, IittIe man. Did we wake you up?
{19815}{19856}Yes.
{19925}{20012}Now, Iads, Iearn from my mistake.
{20038}{20086}Never get invoIved|with a singIe mum.
{20092}{20151}See, they come with accessories,
{20157}{20198}some of which can be...
{20231}{20321}...unfortunateIy, irresistibIe.
{20738}{20859}Sights Iike that make you reaIize|we aII have an expiration date.
{20879}{20944}And women do have a shorter|sheIf Iife than men, don?t they?
{20955}{21016}I think that?s what JuIie|was banging on about yesterday.
{21084}{21147}EIegant Limousine and Chauffeur.
{21153}{21253}This is where I make|my reasonabIy honest Iiving.
{21268}{21348}Standards of eIegance has taken|quite a pounding, wouIdn?t you say?
{21354}{21428}I know. BeIieve me,|it?s mereIy a stepping stone.
{21449}{21496}CurrentIy parked on one|of those stepping stones
{21502}{21610}is my best mate and future|business partner, MarIon.
{21680}{21761}BIack. Like Lonette?s skin...
{21788}{21850}...which I wiII never again touch.
{21915}{22006}I?m afraid you?re not meeting|my man on top form.
{22030}{22087}See, MarIon?s got a probIem.
{22359}{22405}lt?s called Lonette.
{22411}{22477}And very recently, it dumped him.
{22483}{22527}Oh, dear. Come on,|what was it this time?
{22560}{22631}Three a. m. begging, at her front door.
{22637}{22705}- LeveI of inebriation?|- Vomiting.
{22720}{22782}Right. So Iet me get this straight.|You were at her front door,
{22788}{22868}3 a. m. in the morning,|begging and vomiting?
{22880}{22969}And what,|she wasn?t charmed by that?
{22996}{23115}AIfie? Why is there no StoIi|in car number two?
{23121}{23165}I?ve no idea.
{23182}{23259}I gotta watch this guy Iike a hawk.
{23265}{23302}That IittIe chap?s name is Wing.
{23308}{23387}My boss and owner|of this tragic enterprise.
{23393}{23458}- Wipe that car good.|- Owner, that is, tiII me and MarIon
{23463}{23522}swing a Ioan and buy it out|from underneath his scrawny...
{23528}{23601}HeIIo. You miss bird shit.
{23671}{23713}Wing.
{23719}{23764}He?s barking mad.
{23770}{23827}Check out the way he taIks|to the IittIe woman.
{23884}{23955}She?s given him her best years,|cooked his chop suey,
{23961}{24022}heIped with the business, and I bet|at one time he couIdn?t wait
{24028}{24088}to rip off her kimono.|And now Iook at him.
{24187}{24282}And I?m supposed to respect|the institution of marriage?
{24374}{24448}That?s a great figure, man.|We swing that Ioan,
{24454}{24526}cash your IRA, I hock my Vespa...
{24532}{24632}We?re gonna take Wing|by surprise with an offer Iike this.
{24807}{24877}I couId?ve predicted this. See,|MarIon and Lonette have reached
{24883}{24942}that criticaI 18-month ??Where are|we going, what are we doing,
{24948}{25016}what?s happening here? ?? crisis point|that rears its ugIy head
{25022}{25123}in every reIationship.|Lonette wanted ring, home, baby.
{25129}{25197}MarIon wanted another 18 months
{25203}{25255}to make sure nothing better|was coming his way.
{25261}{25317}I fucked up egregiousIy.
{25323}{25396}I see you?re making the most|of that birthday caIendar.
{25413}{25514}By the time he reaIized he?d made|a mistake and he wanted her back...
{25540}{25608}- ... it was too Iate.|- Hey, stranger.
{25647}{25684}Hey.
{25843}{25880}CaroI.
{25886}{25960}- CaroI. Hi, CaroI.|- Hi.
{25976}{26022}You Iook wonderfuI.
{26108}{26203}So, CaroI, weII, it?s nice|to see you again. You be weII.
{26402}{26431}What?s up with that?
{26437}{26521}Put it this way, the show cIosed|after one performance onIy.
{26527}{26568}- Do I even wanna know why?|- No. Come on,
{26574}{26649}it wouId be Iess than discreet|to teII you why.
{26697}{26783}Hair on the arms. SeriousIy.|Long, thick...
{26789}{26866}What are you taIking about?|You don?t have hair on your arms?
{26891}{26968}- You?re Iooking very IoveIy tonight.|- Thank you.
{27153}{27248}Dude, the iron door|has sIammed shut, man.
{27321}{27368}CIassic, isn?t it?
{27374}{27466}Now that he can?t have her,|he thinks he can?t Iive without her.
{27476}{27527}Some peopIe are funny.
{27558}{27621}Marlon?s predicament got me thinking|about my own situation.
{27708}{27809}Maybe... Maybe it was time|to stoke the home fires.
{27876}{27949}Anybody in the mood|for a IittIe AIfie, straight up?
{27955}{28057}Oh, this isn?t a good time, AIfie.|Got a Iot on my mind.
{28063}{28163}Oh, God. Yeah, I reaIIy hate|when that happens.
{28169}{28284}Open up, baby.|You Iook seriousIy beautifuI.
{28290}{28367}- Not tonight, AIfred.|- What?s the matter? TeII me.
{28373}{28463}I don?t... I?m just...|WeII, I guess I?m... I?m just...
{28469}{28558}I?m just seeing red.
{28924}{28972}I mean, the poor guy, he?s dying.
{28978}{29036}Come on, haven?t you?|You?ve tortured him Iong enough.
{29042}{29083}AIfie, he shouId?ve thought|about aII that
{29089}{29157}before he was screwing around|with that ex-girIfriend of his.
{29163}{29218}Those fake-ass, $5 titties.
{29233}{29293}- Those are fake?|- HeIIo?
{29299}{29380}Wow, I?m devastated.|They?ve got, Iike...
{29390}{29473}AIfie, you?re supposed to be consoIing|my devastation, remember?
{29479}{29533}I am. Look, he came back, didn?t he?
{29539}{29596}Begging, crawIing on his knees,|vomiting...
{29602}{29641}I don?t care.
{29647}{29746}I?m sorry, I?m not that easy. I don?t|forgive and I definiteIy do not forget.
{29752}{29807}- Is okay if I Ieave now, miss?|- Oh, s?, FeIix.
{29813}{29878}And hit the Iights on your way out,|por favor.
{29978}{30021}I better go.
{30034}{30090}It?s reaIIy coming down out there.
{30096}{30142}Yeah.
{30166}{30219}And I?m wearing suede.
{30246}{30311}You?re teIIing the truth. That?s briIIiant.
{30340}{30428}Okay. I got one. I never swam|in the Pacific Ocean.
{30452}{30541}- Me neither.|- Oh, shit. Okay.
{30580}{30717}Okay. I?ve never seen|a James Bond movie.
{30730}{30776}You?re joking.|Not even a Sean Connery?
{30801}{30832}You serious?
{30838}{30941}Wow, I don?t know|if that?s magic or tragic.
{30979}{31020}Okay. Five baII. My go.
{31039}{31127}- I?ve never made my own bed.|- Oh, buIIshit.
{31133}{31183}No, I repeat, I?ve never|made my own bed.
{31189}{31252}WeII, what kind of mama you got?
{31266}{31303}That?s a good question.
{31472}{31525}Let?s see. AII right.
{31531}{31594}- I got something for you.|- AII right.
{31599}{31671}I?ve never had sex...
{31677}{31744}I?ve never had sex|with two peopIe in one night.
{31781}{31832}Six-five, your favour.
{31838}{31880}Gotcha.
{31943}{32022}So, AIfie, what?s the most|you?ve had in one night?
{32122}{32185}We?ve stopped pIaying the game,|haven?t we?
{32269}{32379}Am I wrong, or is there a IittIe|innocent fIirting going on here?
{32678}{32779}Driftin? on a memory
{32793}{32933}Ain?t no place l?d rather be|Than with you
{32977}{33056}Loving you
{33266}{33322}See, if I had that kind of taIent...
{33328}{33372}And a song
{33378}{33454}- Go on, finish your sentence.|- If I had that kind of taIent,
{33471}{33543}and I Iooked Iike you...
{33549}{33586}And a song
{33592}{33644}- ... I wouId be strutting my stuff|- Oh, yeah?
{33649}{33702}on a stage.
{34201}{34276}Trust me, what happens next|was the furthest thing from my mind
{34281}{34328}when l dropped by tonight.
{34361}{34446}But then l thought to myself,
{34452}{34484}??You know what?
{34490}{34559}lf this will help her get past|her anger towards Marlon,
{34565}{34644}l owe it to both of them,|as a friend, right?
{34650}{34715}To do whatever l can to help. ??
{34866}{34917}l find that, lately,
{34931}{35002}even lying to myself comes easily.
{36166}{36261}The next morning, and l can?t|get last night out of my mind.
{36274}{36376}Try desperately to focus|on something else, anything else.
{36386}{36465}Anything to get my mind|off my best friend?s incredibly hot,
{36483}{36574}best-ass-l?ve-ever-seen-in-my-life|girlfriend.
{36613}{36678}AIfie. AIfie.
{36684}{36749}- AIfie!|- ShaII I pretend I can?t hear him?
{36754}{36791}Dude.
{36812}{36877}- Hey!|- Too Iate. Too Iate.
{36883}{36962}- Dude, wouId you sIow down?|- Hey, MarIy, what?s up?
{36981}{37006}??MarIy???
{37024}{37083}Hey, Iisten, I gotta taIk to you.|You ain?t going nowhere
{37089}{37130}tiII you teII me|what went down Iast night.
{37136}{37198}- Down Iast night?|- Dude, don?t mess with me.
{37204}{37255}What happened with Lonette?
{37283}{37332}Have you ever heard|the word ??knock???
{37338}{37405}- What went down?|- What? Nothing happened.
{37411}{37490}- We had a few shots.|- Missus give me siIent treatment.
{37496}{37585}LittIe she know, not hearing constant|??bIah, bIah, bIah?? is gift from heaven.
{37591}{37635}You keep it up. Keep it up,|mate, it?II work.
{37641}{37688}AIfie, what happened?
{37725}{37783}Oh, fuck a duck, man. Look, I...
{37823}{37891}- I drank a Iot Iast night.|- Drunk.
{37906}{37951}WeII, I...
{37993}{38050}I reaIIy... I don?t remember.
{38056}{38119}- Dude, you did something to her.|- No.
{38125}{38174}Oh, yeah, you did.|Because she shows up at my house,
{38180}{38230}at 4 in the morning,|saying that she wanted me back.
{38236}{38306}She even said|that if I needed more time,
{38312}{38382}that she understood compIeteIy.
{38388}{38428}How fucking crazy.
{38480}{38589}ChaIk one up for the bIokes.|Thanks to me, MarIon won the game.
{38596}{38649}Which means he?s off scot-free,|and so am I.
{38655}{38720}This is a bIoody miracIe.|That?s fantastic. Fantastic.
{38725}{38775}- Come on, what did you say to her?|- Look, Iook.
{38781}{38843}- It?s aII good.|- Come on, what did you say?
{38878}{38910}I asked her to marry me.
{39049}{39108}You know you?re my best man, right?
{39140}{39186}Moral of the story:
{39192}{39269}No good deed goes unpunished.
{40613}{40651}New word for the day?
{40712}{40742}??ResiIience:
{40760}{40875}The abiIity to readiIy recover|after disappointment or Ioss. ??
{40918}{40984}Capacity to spring back.
{40990}{41063}Understand, it?s not|about replacing Julie.
{41069}{41131}l just wanna get back|to the simple life:
{41137}{41200}Women who mean nothing to me.
{41250}{41345}So l?ve struck up a friendship|with a nightclub hostess called Uta.
{41351}{41387}HeIIo, Uta.
{41731}{41787}Now, as a heat-seeking bacheIor,
{41793}{41837}I have to Iive|by some very simpIe ruIes.
{41843}{41911}AIfie EIkins? credo or phiIosophy,
{41917}{41992}which is probabIy best summed up|by the onIy advice
{41998}{42045}my father ever gave me.
{42051}{42158}He said, ??Son, whenever you|meet a beautifuI woman...
{42194}{42290}...just remember, somewhere there?s|a bIoke who?s sick of shagging her. ??
{42296}{42350}- Can I heIp you, man?|- G and T, pIease.
{42361}{42462}ExpIain to me what everyone sees|in that Eurotrash?
{42898}{42983}I think it?s incredibIy unfair|that it?s acceptabIe for men
{42989}{43033}to be sexuaIIy experimentaI,|then with a woman,
{43039}{43140}if she wants to try something...|A kiss or a threesome.
{43146}{43211}You know, that they?d be judged.|I wouIdn?t judge them.
{43217}{43282}And I think if you two were to kiss,|I wouId... I wouId just...
{43287}{43399}I wouId just see it|as a thing of beauty.
{43429}{43496}Although l?m living every guy?s|Rat Pack fantasy,
{43502}{43563}something feels a bit off.
{43569}{43615}And throwing myself|back into the old lifestyle
{43621}{43674}isn?t going quite as smoothly|as l?d hoped.
{43680}{43714}Sorry.
{43720}{43758}I?m sorry.
{43776}{43829}You carry on without me.
{43844}{43909}Oh, my Ioves, I...
{43914}{43986}I don?t know what happened.|This is so unIike me.
{44004}{44087}Yeah, you... You two just...
{44258}{44336}l used to think|there was nothing worse than death.
{44400}{44471}Then, from out of nowhere...
{44523}{44550}...the unthinkabIe.
{44609}{44700}Now I reaIIy don?t get|what everyone sees in you.
{44788}{44860}It just keeps on happening|and happening.
{44877}{44954}Or more accurateIy, not happening|and not happening.
{45005}{45087}This never happens, Uta.|HonestIy, never.
{45166}{45202}HonestIy.
{45219}{45280}Not the word around town...
{45318}{45357}...peewee.
{45479}{45561}Mr EIkins? Miranda KuIp.
{45595}{45634}Miranda.
{45640}{45703}The penis doctor is a he|with a IittIe bit of she thrown in.
{45709}{45793}So I understand you?re experiencing|some erectiIe dysfunction.
{45806}{45922}I am experiencing a IittIe... A IittIe...|A IittIe bit of... What you just said.
{45928}{45984}Not to worry.|That?s my area of expertise.
{46004}{46112}So have you been under any unusuaI|emotionaI stress IateIy, Mr EIkins?
{46118}{46207}Stress? EmotionaI? Me? No, never.
{46247}{46351}WeII, unIess you count|that recent chat I had with JuIie.
{46357}{46395}I can?t see you anymore, AIfie.
{46443}{46497}- Why? You angry?|- No, I?m reaIIy not angry.
{46503}{46589}Just, you know,|we want different things.
{46615}{46689}And I can?t have you traipsing|in and out of Max?s Iife.
{46809}{46875}You?ve changed your hair,|haven?t you?
{46881}{46915}You have, haven?t you?|No, you have.
{46921}{46971}You?ve changed your hairdo.|You cut it?
{46977}{47018}It Iooks gorgeous.
{47024}{47074}- Thanks.|- How come...?
{47101}{47173}How come you never had it Iike that|when we were together?
{47179}{47219}I reaIIy gotta go.
{47316}{47351}WeII, I guess...
{47376}{47412}...you need these back.
{47478}{47516}Thank you.
{47621}{47666}AIfie?
{47682}{47713}You gonna be okay?
{47738}{47825}Yeah. No worries. I?m aIways okay.
{47941}{48049}AIrighty, Iet?s take a gander|at that penis of yours.
{48223}{48271}I see.
{48393}{48427}WeII.
{48433}{48498}- It seems we have Iift-off.|- It seems we do.
{48503}{48543}Wundersch?n.
{48554}{48589}What a reIief.
{48603}{48668}WeII, I mean, if he can give me|a stiffy, I shouId have no probIem
{48673}{48741}keeping it up for the target|demographic, shouIdn?t I?
{48747}{48817}WeII, there doesn?t appear|to be anything physioIogicaIIy wrong,
{48823}{48890}so, in short, we can be|fairIy certain your probIem
{48896}{48996}- was simpIy stress-reIated.|- TransIation: JuIie-reIated.
{49002}{49106}Like I aIways say, if they don?t get you|one way, they?II get you another.
{49135}{49175}However,
{49194}{49325}- I did feeI something a IittIe kooky.|- Kooky?
{49331}{49405}There is nothing to get upset about,|Mr EIkins.
{49425}{49512}I thought I feIt a Iump...
{49550}{49595}...on your penis.
{49601}{49664}But with any Iuck, it wiII be nothing.
{49707}{49791}The words ??Iump?? and ??penis??|in the same sentence.
{49797}{49854}There?s something|you don?t hear every day.
{49881}{49981}And so young Alfred|got an early Yuletide gift.
{50022}{50077}A penis biopsy.
{50083}{50156}I get my test resuIts in three days...|WeII, five.
{50162}{50249}Five counting the weekend.|Oh, Lord. Oh, Lord.
{50255}{50320}How am I gonna stop myseIf|going compIeteIy bonkers?
{50325}{50351}I?II be fine.
{50369}{50417}I?II be fine.
{50423}{50471}I?m a young man.
{50512}{50579}Shift focus, AIfie. Shift...
{50585}{50640}Let?s go, kids. Let?s go.
{50818}{50877}Move aIong, chiIdren.|Look straight ahead.
{50894}{50957}Come on. Do not Iook at the man.|Look straight ahead.
{50963}{51049}In the meantime, perhaps I?m safer|hobbIing on home.
{51445}{51522}AIfie, dear, what?s wrong?|You Iook Iike death warmed over.
{51528}{51591}No, I?ve just... I?ve got a bit of|a footbaII injury, that?s aII,
{51597}{51640}Mrs Schnitman...|HeIIo, Mrs Liberman.
{51646}{51682}You two Iook IoveIy.|Where you going?
{51688}{51751}- Shopping. You need anything?|- I?m fine.
{51816}{51841}HeIIo.
{51858}{51905}Can I taIk to you for a minute?
{51922}{51959}Ladies, this is my friend Lonette.
{51965}{52071}She?s IoveIy. Good for you,|dating an African-American.
{52077}{52113}Yeah.
{52142}{52242}Hey. Hey, girI.I missed you.
{52248}{52336}Don?t mind us. We?re not here.|You kids keep taIking.
{52342}{52403}- Very nice to meet you.|- See you, Mrs Liberman.
{52409}{52447}Shop tiII you drop, girIs.
{52518}{52558}So how have you been?
{52606}{52652}I?m pregnant.
{52695}{52735}lt seems to me
{52740}{52835}the problems you worry yourself|sick about never seem to materialize.
{52840}{52892}lt?s the ones that catch you|unexpectedly
{52897}{52981}on a Wednesday afternoon|that knock you sideways.
{53033}{53095}l offered to face the music|with her...
{53100}{53161}...but she wanted to go it alone.
{53580}{53677}We both knew that if the baby|was born with any white-boy features
{53682}{53747}it would mean the end|of Lonette and Marlon.
{53761}{53835}Not to mention your host|for this evening.
{53865}{53987}But standing in the cold,|l find myself having regrets.
{53992}{54033}Thinking thoughts like,
{54038}{54124}??Here?s another kid you?ll never|get a chance to know.
{54129}{54178}Your own. ??
{54605}{54642}Didn?t take Iong.
{54852}{54911}BIoody heII, you?re freezing.
{54973}{55003}How do you feeI?
{55026}{55069}Empty.
{55399}{55498}That night in the bar, I thought|I was getting something for nothing.
{55520}{55599}Doesn?t seem to have worked out|that way, does it?
{55926}{55950}Oh, man.
{55966}{56047}lf everything turns out okay,|maybe this little brush with mortality
{56052}{56081}is a sign.
{56098}{56210}l should think about making...|Making some changes.
{56216}{56246}PossibIy.
{56271}{56298}- Next week.|- Excuse me.
{56303}{56375}Did I just...? Did you just Iook at me?|Did I just notice you turn away?
{56380}{56463}Look, if you know the resuIts|to my tests, and they?re teIIing you...
{56468}{56508}- Mr EIkins.|- PIease. PIease.
{56513}{56620}Mr EIkins, for the miIIionth time,|sit down.
{56643}{56766}Mr BeIson, I have a canceIIation|on Tuesday at 11:30.
{56771}{56820}I?m gonna be fine.
{56849}{56904}- I just feeI it.|- Thank you. Goodbye.
{57115}{57188}I?II just be a minute. Or ten.
{57216}{57274}- It?s aII right. Take your time.|- I don?t have a choice.
{57279}{57353}I used to pee. Now I trickIe.
{57358}{57427}- I?m Joe. What?s your name?|- AIfie.
{57446}{57509}So how you doing, AIfie?
{57514}{57608}- Hanging in. You?|- Shitty.
{57642}{57703}Yeah, me too. Me too.
{57726}{57823}- I Iike the boIo tie.|- Oh, thanks. I have a coIIection.
{57888}{57953}You know, when you?re oId,|you Iearn to be patient.
{57967}{57991}Yeah.
{57996}{58057}Used to be I never|had time for nothing. Go, go, go.
{58062}{58110}- I know that feeIing.|- Yeah.
{58115}{58229}My wife was aIways hawking me|to take a IittIe vacation. Hawaii. Reno.
{58234}{58287}I aIways said,|??Next year, Evie, next year.
{58292}{58344}I got too much on my pIatter. ??
{58359}{58417}I aIways thought|I?d have more time.
{58422}{58511}Then one Sunday night,|she takes the pot roast out of the oven.
{58516}{58612}YeIIs, ??Soup?s on, ??|and sIumps to the kitchen fIoor.
{58617}{58660}Just Iike that.
{58665}{58711}Dead as disco.
{58716}{58772}Jesus, I?m sorry.
{58777}{58837}I tried picking up the pieces.
{58842}{58903}Even went to Waikiki aIone|on the 8-day cruise package
{58908}{58957}she was aIways yakking about.
{58971}{59032}CouIdn?t get Evie out of my mind.
{59124}{59187}There?s two things|I Iearned in Iife, kid:
{59192}{59233}You find someone to Iove,
{59239}{59300}and Iive every day|as though it were your Iast.
{59401}{59444}She?s aII yours, AIfie.
{59449}{59486}Enjoy.
{59680}{59723}You aII right, son?
{59728}{59806}Yeah. I hope so.
{59878}{59965}Look, if you ever get bored|or feeI Iike schmoozing...
{59997}{60051}...give me a hoIIer.
{60101}{60155}- You?II never caII.|- Maybe I wiII.
{60161}{60223}AII right, good. We?II go to a bar|together, hit on some chicks.
{60228}{60262}Damn right.
{60267}{60307}Thanks, Joe.
{60378}{60422}Hey.
{60460}{60506}I?m sorry about Evie.
{60578}{60620}We...
{60625}{60687}...weren?t aII that fond|of each other...
{60692}{60786}...but we were very cIose.
{60812}{60903}- If you know what I mean.|- I think I do.
{61551}{61636}I?ve been thinking a Iot IateIy|about God and death.
{61641}{61711}And how, if what they taught me|in BibIe cIass is true,
{61716}{61762}I?m reaIIy in for it.
{61836}{61904}But I won?t be partying|with Lucifer any time soon,
{61909}{61956}because my test resuIts|were negative.
{61961}{62023}I?m gonna Iive! I?m gonna Iive!
{62173}{62242}I ruined my Prada Iace-ups|and I don?t care.
{62328}{62429}Don?t think I?ve forgotten my oath|to compIeteIy change my Iife,
{62434}{62478}because I haven?t.
{63182}{63254}Carrot-appIe with a dash|of wheat grass.
{63259}{63291}Yep.
{63311}{63385}HeaIth is now priority number one.
{63422}{63501}Business pIan|moves onto the fast track.
{63538}{63628}- If you say so...|- Tonight?s preview at St. Ambrose...
{63668}{63776}No, I definiteIy don?t want to taIk.|Okay, hoId on, what eIse have I got?
{63810}{63884}Okay, yeah.
{63906}{63951}AII right, if we must, we must, but...
{63994}{64067}New sIate. New beginning.
{64573}{64614}- What?s your name, driver?|- AIfie, sir.
{64619}{64643}Wait here, AIfie.
{64649}{64701}Do you know how Iong|you?re gonna be, roughIy?
{64706}{64771}- You got somepIace to go?|- No, I was just gonna nip off
{64775}{64840}- and get a cup of tea.|- Look, why don?t you just stay put.
{65503}{65554}Yea or nay?
{65591}{65680}A definite yea, I think. ReaIIy.
{65685}{65739}Stunning.|WouIdn?t you say so, sir?
{65745}{65805}I?m sorry, didn?t I ask you|to wait by the car?
{65811}{65877}I reckoned I shouId heIp|the Iady with her packages.
{65883}{65922}Definite yea?
{65970}{66012}I think.
{66017}{66090}With one minor...
{66095}{66128}- May I?|- You may.
{66133}{66170}Adjustment.
{66355}{66449}BuIIfighter. Another Iifetime.|Don?t ask.
{66534}{66571}Fifty, if she?s a day.
{66576}{66612}But don?t they say 50|is the new 40,
{66617}{66672}and is she not Iiving proof?
{66677}{66746}I mean, have a Iook.|BeautifuIIy preserved.
{66777}{66840}And cIeavage|Iike the HoIIand TunneI.
{66878}{66921}- Better?|- Much.
{66927}{67018}You are so right to trust ChaneI.|A pair of hot-pink stiIettos,
{67023}{67070}and you?re good to go.
{67097}{67171}- WeII, aren?t you Mr FuII-Service?|- We try.
{67240}{67317}- He?s getting a IittIe pissy, isn?t he?|- Oh, it?s fine. It?s good for him.
{67322}{67406}- Is your husband a Iot oIder than you?|- He?s not my husband.
{67434}{67477}He?s wearing a wedding ring.
{67482}{67561}WeII, I never said he wasn?t|somebody eIse?s husband.
{67839}{67878}- Grab the stuff from the trunk?|- You got it.
{67883}{67917}Cheers.
{68070}{68154}Ma?am, if you require|my services in the future.
{68192}{68273}Happy Christmas, sir. Ma?am.
{68321}{68419}Now that, my friends,|is a real woman.
{68424}{68489}Smart and sexy and...
{68499}{68594}You noticed the IittIe fIirt|going on between us, huh?
{68691}{68731}Makes me think,
{68736}{68802}if a woman Iike that,|of that caIibre
{68807}{68842}shouId take notice|of a bIoke Iike me,
{68847}{68923}then, perhaps...
{68957}{69048}Perhaps I?m seIIing myseIf|a bit short.
{69062}{69104}ln a flash,
{69109}{69174}l have my New Year?s resolution.
{69197}{69241}Aim higher.
{69508}{69589}Catastrophic. Doomed.
{69594}{69670}DesoIate. CatacIysmic.
{69675}{69729}Bought him a word-of-the-day|caIendar for Christmas.
{69748}{69777}Big mistake.
{69782}{69835}HoIiday season,|busiest time of the year.
{69840}{69872}I try to run a business.
{69877}{69953}- What?s the probIem, Mr Wing?|- Your souI brother.
{69958}{70008}He quit.
{70138}{70221}ln the letter Marlon left me,|he called me his best friend...
{70241}{70322}...but apologized for bailing|on our business scheme.
{70327}{70403}He said his whole thing now|was to make Lonette happy.
{70419}{70460}They decided,|on the spur of the moment,
{70465}{70514}to move upstate,
{70520}{70589}and l had a standing|invite to drop by any time.
{70617}{70688}Somehow Lonette|convinced Marlon
{70693}{70765}it would be too painful|to say our goodbyes in person.
{70770}{70815}And to make matters worse,
{70820}{70908}it all dovetails into|the second loneliest night of the year:
{70981}{71035}Christmas Eve.
{71081}{71172}A night that brings on all those|familiar festive feelings
{71177}{71308}of hopelessness,|anguish, despair.
{71323}{71400}Not a great time to be flying solo.
{71415}{71506}That?s why I?m of the beIief|coupIes shouId never spIit up
{71511}{71565}between Thanksgiving|and January 2nd.
{71579}{71673}AIways have a reIationship to see|you through the hoIidays. AIways.
{71678}{71747}The downside, of course, being gifts.
{71857}{71932}PersonaIIy, I?ve aIways|suspected that everyone eIse
{71937}{72006}is having a far merrier|Christmas than I am.
{72011}{72095}Not that I?ve ever actuaIIy|had a Christmas.
{72117}{72154}That?s a whoIe other Dickens story.
{72159}{72232}Taxi.
{72247}{72296}Excuse me.
{72334}{72434}I?m sorry, mate, it?s against the Iaw|for me to carry any more than...
{72615}{72674}Thank the Lord.
{72703}{72762}A Christmas miracle.
{72860}{72913}AII right, hop in.
{72918}{72996}Thanks for saving us.|I was freezing my IittIe tush off.
{73002}{73075}No worries. You know,|it?s pretty fuII back there.
{73081}{73150}- Why don?t you...|- Good idea.
{73155}{73185}Why don?t I?
{73236}{73285}Hey, watch the champagne.
{73382}{73423}AII in.
{73660}{73754}- They don?t get out much.|- You wanna watch out, you guys.
{73759}{73840}You?II end up with a Iump of coaI|in your stocking.
{73845}{73883}You?re EngIish.
{73888}{73934}I Iove EngIish.
{73940}{73991}- What?s your name?|- AIfie.
{74190}{74255}You wanna abuse|a IittIe substance, AIfie?
{74261}{74301}No, thanks. I?m trying to quit.
{74335}{74404}AII right. One hit.
{74771}{74805}Merry Christmastime
{75144}{75238}There?s an expression|the Yanks use, ??Go with the fIow. ??
{75286}{75344}So, yeah, I got a dose|of the hoIiday bIues.
{75349}{75475}But when a girI of this mind-bIowing|caIibre invites you to a party,
{75480}{75569}it?s time to get going|and start fIowing.
{75639}{75672}Maybe it?s the Iate hour.
{75753}{75821}Maybe it?s the heaviIy|spiked eggnog.
{75900}{75962}Maybe it was simply|a mutual desperate desire
{75967}{76038}to have ourselves|a merry little Christmas.
{76053}{76144}Whatever the reason, hooking up|has never gone more swimmingly,
{76149}{76274}and l find myself saying|something highly out of character:
{76279}{76381}I?m renovating my apartment|on the Upper West Side.
{76414}{76472}But, say, you couId...
{76477}{76592}...crash at my subIet,|if you want.
{76615}{76684}See you through the hoIidays.
{76699}{76753}That sounds inviting.
{76924}{77022}And so it came to pass,|that after all those years,
{77027}{77136}little Alfred finally got|what he wanted for Christmas.
{77422}{77489}The 12 days of Christmas|were flying by
{77494}{77547}at a surrealistic pace.
{77586}{77656}Yeah, it?s been quite the ride.
{77757}{77822}The package was irresistible.
{77829}{77939}A showstopper with|a new-school brand of sexiness.
{77962}{78030}Who wouldn?t get off on the way|she makes heads turn?
{78058}{78112}Plus, we have so much in common.
{78166}{78262}- She?s sweet, fun, original, exciting,|- Adore you.
{78267}{78310}full of surprises.
{78316}{78420}Oh, and did l mention,|she makes a cracking good bed.
{78481}{78529}l began to wonder,
{78534}{78572}could this be the one...
{78636}{78701}...who finally holds my attention?
{78737}{78788}Happy New Year!
{79115}{79159}ln every doomed relationship,
{79165}{79220}there comes what l like to call
{79225}{79318}??the uh-oh moment. ??
{79324}{79361}When a certain IittIe|something happens,
{79366}{79435}and you know you?ve just witnessed|the beginning of the end.
{79455}{79517}And suddenIy you stop|and you think:
{79522}{79616}??Uh-oh, iceberg ahead. ??
{79665}{79735}With Nikki, that was|the first of many...
{79751}{79803}...uh-oh moments.
{79817}{79882}lt began with petty arguments.
{79926}{80020}Followed by random bouts|of melancholia.
{80036}{80129}Major highs and manic lows.
{80144}{80218}This girl never knows|when she?s had one too many.
{80232}{80351}And there had been constant displays|of erratic, reckless behaviour.
{80356}{80450}And thank you, no.|No, l did not have insurance.
{80495}{80612}But whenever l begin to feel|there?s little reason to go on,
{80625}{80737}l?m reminded that we still have|one very major thing in common.
{80758}{80841}lf only she didn?t insist|on smoking before,
{80847}{80895}after
{80912}{80961}and during.
{81045}{81104}What time are you gonna|be home, honey?
{81109}{81144}Hear that?
{81149}{81201}??What time are you gonna|be home, honey? ??
{81215}{81271}That?s dangerousIy cIose|to wife-speak to me.
{81277}{81350}Because I?m making something|reaIIy speciaI for din-din.
{81367}{81400}Din-din?
{81406}{81439}I?II caII Iater.
{81466}{81586}Listen, are you sure you don?t|think that coIour?s a IittIe bit intense?
{81592}{81697}- I think you?re a IittIe bit intense.|- CarefuI,
{81703}{81759}because you?ve got paint|aII over your hands.
{81802}{81897}PIus, you?re wearing my favourite shirt|to paint the house in, Nik. Don?t...
{81988}{82042}Sorry, baby.
{82110}{82150}I gotta run.
{82156}{82183}No, I?ve gotta run.
{82188}{82287}I bet that I can make it|worth your whiIe to stay.
{82315}{82382}I?m sure you can. But you know what?|I?ve got that meeting.
{82396}{82455}- Haven?t I?|- Yeah.
{82640}{82734}You know you?re in troubIe when|a sight Iike that can?t keep you pIanted.
{82767}{82847}When I was a boy|at St. AIban?s Secondary SchooI,
{82852}{82913}the schooI took us|on this cuIturaI trip
{82918}{82966}to observe art at one of the...
{82975}{83020}One of those big famous|London museums.
{83045}{83073}Anyway, when I was there,
{83078}{83162}I came across this statue|of a Greek goddess in marbIe.
{83167}{83255}Aphrodi... Aphrodite,|something Iike that.
{83260}{83319}BeautifuI, she was.
{83342}{83418}Perfect femaIe form.
{83423}{83467}ChiseIIed features.
{83472}{83516}Exquisite.
{83547}{83594}I stood in awe of her.
{83607}{83675}FinaIIy, the teacher caIIs us|aII over, and I?m waIking past it,
{83680}{83782}and on the way I notice,|in the side of this Greek goddess,
{83787}{83887}aII these cracks,|chips, imperfections.
{83903}{83942}Ruined her for me.
{84012}{84058}WeII, that?s Nikki.
{84095}{84158}A beautifuI scuIpture...
{84163}{84203}...damaged...
{84208}{84287}...in a way you don?t notice|tiII you get too cIose.
{84527}{84580}I Iost the signaI for a second there.
{84632}{84671}But I don?t know.
{84676}{84738}It?s just a Iot of personaI stuff|going on.
{84743}{84777}You know what I mean?
{84895}{84939}- Oh, I know.|- WeIcome, Mr AIfie.
{84944}{85009}Good to see you, EIvis. Look, I hope|you don?t mind me rambIing on.
{85013}{85072}- Enjoy your evening, sir.|- Thank you.
{85140}{85240}As you can see, the Iad?s|moving up in the worId.
{85329}{85398}It?s just that I?ve got|this friend who?s,
{85403}{85492}Iet?s say, outstayed his weIcome.
{85569}{85597}AbsoIuteIy right.
{85602}{85696}It?s a Iot tougher getting them out|than getting them in. I Iike that.
{85701}{85760}You?II never guess|who I?m dropping in on now.
{85765}{85815}I wouIdn?t have beIieved it myseIf|a coupIe of weeks ago.
{85820}{85869}Why don?t you just try being honest,
{85874}{85959}and teII your friend that the hoteI|is under new management
{85964}{86059}and that they have to vacate|the premises. You know what I mean.
{86064}{86110}That kimono
{86115}{86188}does wonders for your d?coIIetage.
{86212}{86290}- Big word.|- Big d?coIIetage.
{86554}{86624}Why don?t we have a drink and you|can teII me the rest of your troubIes.
{86629}{86727}Instead of me Iistening to hers.|That?s a change.
{86732}{86826}You know, for someone|so very young, you?re terribIy wise.
{86874}{86918}Secret admirer?
{86940}{86994}One of many.
{87019}{87089}You wouId never think of bringing|a girI fIowers, wouId you, AIfie?
{87094}{87145}It wouId onIy encourage them.
{87150}{87195}I?m gonna make us that drink.
{87201}{87237}What?s your poison, sweetheart?
{87242}{87339}I?II have a spot of whiskey, pIease.|MidIeton Rare, if you?ve got it.
{87344}{87395}I Iike dropping a fancy brand name|in now and again,
{87400}{87440}Iet her know she ain?t|the onIy one been around.
{87446}{87546}Why not make this|an absinthe afternoon?
{87551}{87593}BriIIiant.
{87621}{87709}- No idea what she?s taIking about.|- You?ve had absinthe?
{87715}{87782}Not recentIy, no.|Remind me, what is it again?
{87787}{87898}The Green Fairy. The French|impressionists? Iiquid drug of choice.
{87918}{88021}And I got you some of those|IittIe egg thingies you Iike so much.
{88208}{88276}I mention I Iike something once,|next thing I know,
{88281}{88322}I get it on a siIver pIatter.
{88624}{88669}Perfect, huh?
{88674}{88731}Kind of pad I pIan|to earn myseIf one day.
{88736}{88825}Understated eIegance|with just a touch of the trendy.
{88865}{88921}She?s a reguIar fashionista.
{88932}{89012}You don?t have to teII this one|which sIingbacks go with which frock.
{89029}{89078}Owns her own cosmetics company.
{89083}{89142}Empire, actuaIIy.
{89147}{89199}Started out doing faciaIs|in a fancy saIon.
{89204}{89279}Took a handfuI of mud,|mixed it with a dash of papaya,
{89284}{89367}put it on the market,|and bingo: AII this.
{89372}{89445}This stuff is so iIIegaI.
{89466}{89538}I smuggIed a whoIe batch|of it back from Prague
{89544}{89609}in Listerine bottIes.
{89730}{89799}Oh, I checked out|your business pIan.
{89886}{89954}- And?|- I?m impressed.
{89969}{90017}- You seem surprised.|- Not at aII.
{90023}{90077}Because underneath|aII that bravado
{90082}{90147}beats the heart of a guy who?s a Iot|smarter than he thinks he is,
{90151}{90267}but not nearIy as cocky as he?d Iike|everybody eIse to beIieve.
{90402}{90549}What are we...?|What exactIy are we basing this on?
{90554}{90642}This insight into my personaIity?
{90770}{90844}That it takes one to know one.
{91253}{91296}What?
{91323}{91393}I was just wondering if there?s|a cIever IittIe tattoo artist out there
{91398}{91503}who couId change ??PabIo?? into ??AIfie. ??
{91644}{91706}Here?s to cIever IittIe tattoo artists.
{91988}{92030}Jesus.
{92144}{92219}It made me feeI|aII warm going down.
{92224}{92278}That?s my job.
{92486}{92539}You know what they say.
{92581}{92630}What do they say?
{92696}{92780}Absinthe makes|the heart grow fonder.
{92903}{92950}Oh, great.
{93101}{93139}Check this out.
{93257}{93312}Have a Iook at the size of this tub.
{93317}{93373}She?s had two husbands,|both croaked,
{93378}{93447}and I have a feeIing|this was the scene of the crime.
{93462}{93520}Come on, baby, Iet?s get wet.
{93704}{93737}If she keeps this up,
{93742}{93843}we?re gonna be updating that tattoo|of hers a Iot sooner than she thinks.
{94090}{94194}Remember how little Alfred finally got|what he wanted for Christmas?
{94250}{94319}Be carefuI what you wish for.
{94588}{94640}There?s something else.
{94927}{94959}Dozed off?
{95012}{95067}Yeah.
{95094}{95153}I tried waiting up for you.
{95202}{95297}- Your meeting ran Iate, huh?|- Very. I?m knackered.
{95302}{95349}And wet.
{95376}{95432}But...
{95437}{95547}...I do want us to have|a IittIe chat, Nikki.
{95603}{95651}Okay.
{95656}{95711}Sure.
{95716}{95775}Why don?t we taIk over|a midnight snack.
{95780}{95868}I made roast beef|and Yorkshire pudding.
{95882}{95950}That was your favourite|as a young Iad, right?
{95979}{96048}And check the pIace out,|if you pIease.
{96071}{96184}- Your IittIe girI worked her fanny off.|- I noticed. It Iooks briIIiant.
{96208}{96252}ReaIIy smashing.
{96274}{96347}- So, Nik...|- AIfie, I?ve been thinking.
{96376}{96453}WiII you Iook at these|cute IittIe potatoes?
{96548}{96657}Okay. I know I have been|a reaI handfuI IateIy.
{96686}{96772}I don?t know, I think it has to do a Iot|with me feeIing dispIaced...
{96819}{96887}...and not totaIIy trusting.
{96927}{96990}Sweetie, cutting to the chase.
{96995}{97075}I am gonna do better.
{97101}{97129}I promise.
{97146}{97234}I am gonna take my medication|reIigiousIy from now on.
{97239}{97339}And everything, everything|is gonna be easy and breezy.
{97345}{97396}Sound good? Honey?
{97406}{97477}So come, come and sit.|A feast awaits.
{97503}{97548}I aIready ate, Nik.
{97580}{97608}Of course.
{97613}{97665}No worries, we?II have Ieftovers.
{97670}{97779}I can whip up a IittIe|corned beef hash for brunch.
{97954}{98012}What?s the matter, AIfie?
{98018}{98071}Nothing. I just...
{98120}{98174}I?ve got a Iot on my mind and...
{98197}{98251}- ... I?m feeIing a bit...|- What?
{98287}{98381}CoId? Distant? Remote? What?
{98405}{98470}Oh, Nik, this is a compIete drag.
{98491}{98575}Everything happened so quickIy.
{98609}{98683}- I?m not the best at this sort of thing.|- What sort of thing?
{98738}{98771}I...
{98783}{98849}...don?t know exactIy how to say it.
{98872}{98917}Sure you do, AIfie.
{98983}{99076}You?ve had pIenty|of experience dumping girIs.
{99484}{99528}Don?t worry.
{99549}{99619}I?m aIready gone.
{101005}{101055}Strange.
{101060}{101123}But even when you know|it has to end...
{101143}{101195}...when it finally does...
{101217}{101294}...you always get|that inevitable twinge:
{101313}{101386}Have l done the right thing?
{101595}{101658}I must admit...
{101663}{101722}...I do miss the companionship.
{101800}{101878}Nikki was a showstopper.
{101929}{102030}But as me ugIy oId Aunt GIadys|used to say,
{102073}{102107}??Looks aren?t everything. ??
{102112}{102157}I used to think that was|a Ioad of boIIocks,
{102187}{102264}but just IateIy I?ve been thinking...
{102269}{102334}...maybe the oId bat had something.
{103343}{103385}JuIie?
{103413}{103456}AIfie, hi.
{103462}{103496}What a surprise.
{103509}{103607}- God, I haven?t seen you since...|- Yeah.
{103623}{103675}You Iook... You Iook amazing.
{103680}{103742}Thanks. You too.|You Iook good too.
{103770}{103826}I?m getting over a coId.
{103832}{103924}- But you?re okay otherwise?|- I?m fine. I?m aIways fine.
{103995}{104034}It?s good to see you.
{104066}{104105}And you.
{104241}{104292}Hey, you know, I was...
{104339}{104410}I?m sorry about|what happened between us.
{104430}{104519}And I?m sorry how it aII ended up.|It wasn?t...
{104524}{104583}It wasn?t good.
{104668}{104799}I feIt bad about not seeing Max|and about not seeing you.
{104894}{104970}- It?s water under the bridge.|- Good.
{105039}{105075}You know...
{105108}{105145}...I?m wondering...
{105267}{105319}Maybe we...
{105324}{105401}You know I can never|promise anything.
{105423}{105471}But if you want, if you Iike,
{105476}{105510}maybe we couId|see each other again.
{105521}{105570}It wouId be okay by me.
{105575}{105643}It wouId be more than okay,|it wouId be great.
{105648}{105714}- AIfie, I...|- Yeah?
{105736}{105792}This is Adam.
{105866}{105916}Hey, how are you?
{105921}{105963}- Hey, how you doing, Adam?|- Pretty good.
{105968}{106010}- Adam.|- Yeah.
{106163}{106211}It was great running into you.
{106261}{106342}- You Iook fantastic.|- Thanks.
{106420}{106475}What time is it? I?ve gotta go.
{106488}{106549}I?m Iate for a meeting.|Nice to meet you, Adam.
{106815}{106849}JuIie?
{106900}{106973}- How?s Max?|- Oh, reaIIy good.
{106984}{107039}WiII you say hi?
{107044}{107113}- Sure.|- Or not.
{107155}{107199}Be weII.
{108328}{108368}HeIIo.
{108424}{108475}HeIIo.
{108598}{108664}Mrs Wing, is everything...?
{108669}{108712}Wing.
{108769}{108811}Why are you crying?
{108816}{108856}I?m not crying. Get out.
{108874}{108962}- You sure?|- I?m fine. Get out, AIfie.
{108968}{109057}I?m sorry. I just wanted to see|if I couId borrow a car.
{109062}{109113}She Ieave me.
{109118}{109167}Sorry?
{109172}{109232}BIossom Ieave me.
{109237}{109345}BIossom? Is that your wife?s name,|BIossom?
{109350}{109442}What I do wrong, AIfie? Love her?
{109485}{109581}Look, mate. Come on,|you can win her back.
{109586}{109639}Woo her. Send fIowers|and chocoIates.
{109644}{109709}Write a poem.
{109713}{109774}- That what you do?|- WeII, actuaIIy, no, I?ve never done that,
{109779}{109857}but it may be a way to go.
{109898}{109949}What rhyme with BIossom?
{110003}{110092}I wouId try ??awesome. ??
{110186}{110229}Okay.
{111637}{111708}You never cease to amaze.
{111713}{111766}Hey.
{111778}{111851}Great to see you too, Lon.
{111870}{111956}I guess I shouId have rung.|Hey, Sam.
{111961}{112020}WeII, that wouId have been a pIan.
{112047}{112114}WeII, you know, I?m sorry,|it was just...
{112133}{112181}It?s nice.
{112390}{112464}Look, Lonette...
{112504}{112580}This is so uncomfortabIe, I know.|Because...
{112585}{112662}You don?t have to whisper.|MarIon?s not here.
{112827}{112862}I reaIIy miss you both.
{112871}{112944}And I just wondered, maybe...
{112961}{113013}Maybe me and you couId put it|aII behind us,
{113019}{113117}pretend Iike it never happened,|and then move forward, you know?
{113138}{113189}I just...
{113213}{113278}You know, AIfie...
{113295}{113345}...dropping by wasn?t a good idea.
{113538}{113589}You two didn?t have a baby.
{113659}{113711}You did have a baby.
{113734}{113821}No, you were right the first time.
{114490}{114586}Thinking back to that day at the clinic,|l remember
{114591}{114656}trying to look in Lon?s eyes to see|if l could even begin to understand
{114660}{114782}what she was going through,|and how she wouldn?t look at me.
{114797}{114849}And l think l knew then.
{114855}{114933}l just didn?t want to admit it to myself.
{114986}{115047}So classically...
{115084}{115139}...l said nothing.
{115169}{115237}I knew there was|a good chance the baby
{115243}{115299}couId be MarIon?s.
{115371}{115437}At Ieast, I hoped.
{115470}{115517}This is a Iot...
{115576}{115629}...for me too, Lon.
{116319}{116374}MarIon stayed.
{116385}{116425}For now.
{116630}{116695}Is there anything I can do?
{116729}{116792}What are you gonna do, AIfie?
{117794}{117819}Hey.
{117964}{118053}You know, I never...
{118067}{118148}- I never meant...|- You never mean to hurt anybody.
{118254}{118307}But you do, AIfie.
{120494}{120560}l felt l needed a friend to talk to.
{120565}{120650}Problem was, they were suddenly|in short supply.
{120655}{120786}And I don?t remember being in the car.|I just... I just... I was stopped.
{120791}{120831}And I?m crying.
{120836}{120945}- Crying for the IittIe one?|- I don?t know exactIy.
{120965}{121014}Maybe for him.
{121048}{121103}MostIy, I think, for me.
{121150}{121202}And MarIon.
{121237}{121324}I never had anybody Iook at me|quite Iike that before.
{121373}{121454}And beIieve me, I?ve had some Iooks|that couId kiII.
{121537}{121647}He stood by Lonette.|I couId?ve never, ever...
{121652}{121735}You don?t know what you?II do|tiII you reaIIy Iove someone.
{121815}{121849}WeII, now what?
{121883}{121940}You gonna shoehorn yourseIf|into the situation?
{121945}{121979}No.
{121984}{122077}You did the onIy thing you couId do.|You behaved Iike a gentIeman.
{122083}{122130}I?ve never been accused|of that before.
{122135}{122219}Don?t get aII choked up. You aIso|behaved Iike a scheming,
{122224}{122321}backstabbing, so-Iow-you-can-Iook-up-|a-snake?s-asshoIe son of a bitch.
{122326}{122414}Next time, think before unzipping.
{122462}{122547}It?s aII right. You screwed up.
{122552}{122606}So, what are you gonna do?
{122614}{122672}Run to the bridge?
{122688}{122742}The question is...
{122797}{122878}...what?s gonna happen with|the rest of your Iife?
{123526}{123593}I?d be Iying if I didn?t admit the events|of the past few weeks
{123598}{123663}have knocked me for a bit of a Ioop.
{123827}{123895}AII right, aII right, aII right.
{124149}{124183}HeIIo, mate.
{124188}{124226}And what can we do for you|this evening?
{124231}{124275}- How much are one of those?|- Five-fifty.
{124280}{124345}And you?II need to put them in water|immediateIy.
{124349}{124401}Right, I?II have that.
{124522}{124561}Second thought.
{124566}{124623}ActuaIIy, this is|sort of a speciaI thing.
{124634}{124699}- What?s the occasion?|- Say again?
{124705}{124816}- ProposaI?|- No. No, no.
{124844}{124970}WeII, I do want to extend an offer|to maybe have a go at it for a bit,
{124975}{125020}give us a spin, that kind of thing.
{125025}{125105}I get it. Commitment issues.
{125130}{125210}TeII me what she, or he, is Iike,
{125215}{125260}and we?II find the appropriate|bIoom.
{125274}{125351}WeII, she is...
{125438}{125529}You know what, she?s adventurous.
{125568}{125682}- Frivole.|- And very sexy.
{125696}{125758}I?m thinking Dolce Vita.
{125763}{125850}A IittIe mischievous.|You know, cheeky?
{125856}{125933}AvaIanche, with a touch
{125943}{126026}of mio amore.
{126048}{126124}And then under it aII, she?s just...
{126129}{126227}She?s just kind of sweet.
{126817}{126856}Liz?
{126861}{126936}- HeIIo?|- It?s me, my Iove.
{126980}{127081}Hey, I didn?t expect to see you tonight.|I thought you were working.
{127086}{127152}I had a canceIIation,|so I took the night off.
{127157}{127219}Listen, I thought we shouId get|up earIy, get out of the city,
{127225}{127276}go to the country|and see if we can stay
{127281}{127346}- at that B & B you?re aIways on about.|- I?d Iove to, but I can?t.
{127350}{127393}I have an investors? breakfast|in the morning.
{127398}{127469}- How about on the weekend?|- BriIIiant. Better.
{127474}{127541}AII right. I thought you may...
{127563}{127631}Oh, my God.
{127650}{127726}No. AIfie.
{127731}{127838}- Oh, what a sweet gesture.|- MiIady.
{127843}{127946}They?re not out of some pIastic bucket.|I handpicked, Iike, every bud.
{127951}{128017}- I can see that.|- And apparentIy, I have a bit of a fIair
{128022}{128062}for fIower arranging.
{128079}{128141}I?m impressed.
{128146}{128211}- TaIk about being bIown away.|- Good. Mission accompIished.
{128276}{128331}I Iike surprising you.
{128360}{128412}WeII, you certainIy have done that.
{128447}{128545}AII right, then. WeII, you?re up earIy,|so I?m off.
{128551}{128637}- I?m gonna see you tomorrow night?|- Yeah.
{128642}{128709}When we speak,|there?s some things...
{128714}{128776}Some thing I reaIIy wanna|taIk to you about.
{128781}{128827}What, honey?
{128832}{128944}I?m gonna wait for the exact perfect|moment, and that?s aII I?II say.
{128999}{129042}I?II ring you in the morning.
{129048}{129109}And, AIfie, thank you for the fIowers.|They made my evening.
{129114}{129151}ReaIIy?
{129201}{129307}In that case, maybe I?II stay.
{129403}{129443}I don?t...
{129497}{129551}No, it?s not a good idea.
{129672}{129723}There?s a guy in there, isn?t there?
{129819}{129849}God...
{130063}{130103}Go.
{130218}{130260}Don?t do this.
{130378}{130408}What?s he got?
{130457}{130516}- Better than me?|- AIfie, pIease.
{130522}{130578}TeII me. PIease?
{130650}{130751}ReaIIy, I wouId Iike to know.|What?s he got? TeII me.
{130756}{130854}I want to know what he?s got.|PIease teII me.
{130859}{130949}Come on. Come on.|Come on, just teII me.
{130954}{131001}Just teII me, come on.
{131048}{131111}What?s he got better than me?!
{131335}{131390}He?s younger than you.
{132057}{132122}??He?s younger than you. ??
{132159}{132240}l?ve gotta admit,|l didn?t see it coming.
{132280}{132349}She caught me off-guard, all right.
{132394}{132484}You couIdn?t teII, though, couId you?
{132537}{132679}As you?ve Iearned by now,|I?m rather skiIIed at hiding my feeIings.
{132782}{132829}You see, the thing with feeIings|is they have
{132834}{132953}this quiet way of sneaking up on you|when you Ieast expect it.
{133002}{133055}You know what I mean?
{133061}{133109}Yeah.
{133141}{133181}Like with Liz.
{133192}{133290}Who wouId?ve thought,|of aII the women I?ve known...
{133346}{133437}...the one I Iet my guard down with|deIivers the knockout punch.
{133507}{133546}Ironic.
{133612}{133670}CaIendar word.
{133865}{133903}Dorie.
{134002}{134083}- Hi.|- HeIIo, AIfie.
{134121}{134218}- I haven?t seen you in ages.|- Maybe because you stopped caIIing.
{134244}{134313}I know. Things were getting|a bit too...
{134318}{134381}Don?t bother expIaining. I?m way past|needing excuses.
{134387}{134479}AII right. No, you know what?|I want to expIain.
{134484}{134540}What? You had your fiII of me?
{134545}{134618}Someone cuter came aIong?|I don?t need to hear it, AIfie.
{134627}{134656}- Look, Dorie...|- ReaIIy.
{134661}{134694}Look, Dorie...
{134757}{134796}What happens with me is...
{134821}{134872}I don?t know, I get...
{134877}{134974}When it gets too... Not cIose|but something Iike that,
{134979}{135103}I start to feeI... Not stifIed,
{135108}{135198}not trapped, but something Iike that.
{135203}{135269}And I... And...
{135297}{135354}You know? You know what I mean?
{135438}{135517}Did that make...?|Did that make any sense?
{135536}{135626}I think it has to make sense to you|more than me at this point.
{135685}{135731}Yeah, fair enough.
{135736}{135807}I need to go. He?II be waiting for me.
{135812}{135851}Dorie.
{135984}{136024}I?m sorry.
{136413}{136459}Good Iuck, AIfie.
{136855}{136913}I warned them aII from|the beginning.
{136918}{137007}I aIways said something aIong|the Iines of,
{137012}{137059}??I must advise you,
{137064}{137169}I am stamped with an|invisibIe warning.
{137174}{137286}I wiII not commit. I wiII never marry. ??
{137445}{137544}Despite my best efforts, I?m beginning|to feeI some smaII cracks
{137549}{137660}in my faux finish.
{137700}{137777}You know, when l look back|on my little life,
{137782}{137843}and all the women l?ve known...
{137887}{137960}...l can?t help but think about...
{138006}{138075}...all that they?ve done for me...
{138093}{138154}...and how little l?ve done for them.
{138159}{138250}How they looked after me,|cared for me...
{138261}{138344}...and l repaid them by never|returning the favour.
{138405}{138448}Yeah.
{138453}{138531}I used to think I had the best end|of the deaI.
{138638}{138689}What have I got?
{138694}{138749}ReaIIy?
{138772}{138835}Some money in my pocket.
{138847}{138935}Some nice threads.|Fancy car at my disposaI.
{138940}{138997}And I?m singIe.
{139067}{139159}Unattached. Free as a bird.
{139216}{139273}I don?t depend on nobody.
{139278}{139331}Nobody depends on me.
{139359}{139412}My Iife?s my own.
{139561}{139632}But I don?t have peace of mind.
{139795}{139867}And if you don?t have that,|you?ve got nothing.
{139941}{139976}So...
{140014}{140097}So, what?s the answer?|That?s what I keep asking myseIf.
{140213}{140267}What?s it aII about?
{140317}{140369}You know what I mean?
{140417}{140517}>> Napisy pobrane z http://napisy.org <<|>>>>>>>> nowa wizja napis?w <<<<<<<<
 
 
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