1
00:00:57,232 --> 00:01:01,360
You are now about to witness
the strength of street knowledge.
2
00:01:05,198 --> 00:01:07,440
j& l'm comin' straight outta Compton...
3
00:01:08,451 --> 00:01:11,203
When somethin' happens
in South Central Los Angeles
4
00:01:11,246 --> 00:01:14,365
nothin' happens,
it's just another nigger dead.
5
00:01:15,834 --> 00:01:19,037
j& Straight outta Compton,
crazy motherfucker named lce Cube
6
00:01:19,087 --> 00:01:21,708
j& From the gang called
Niggaz With Attitude
7
00:01:21,756 --> 00:01:24,128
j& AK-47 is the tool
8
00:01:24,175 --> 00:01:26,049
j& Don't make me act
the motherfuckin' fool
9
00:01:26,094 --> 00:01:28,170
j& As l leave, believe l'm stompin
10
00:01:28,221 --> 00:01:31,507
j& But when l come back, boy,
l'm comin' straight outta Compton j&
11
00:01:31,558 --> 00:01:34,428
- Еј Y quГ© mira?
- Л‡SГ, gГіzale!
12
00:01:34,477 --> 00:01:36,221
My friend saw you
with RamГіn Camacho.
13
00:01:36,271 --> 00:01:38,643
- lt ain't true, Ricco.
- Shut up, ho!
14
00:01:42,485 --> 00:01:45,237
lt's time to teach you two a lesson.
15
00:01:45,280 --> 00:01:48,067
l wouldn't do that if l was you.
16
00:01:49,033 --> 00:01:52,983
Step back unless you want me
to bust a cap in your ass.
17
00:01:53,037 --> 00:01:56,952
This is my hood
and these girls belong to me.
18
00:01:57,000 --> 00:01:58,660
Belong?
19
00:01:58,710 --> 00:02:02,410
That is a very sexist way
to talk about these bitches.
20
00:02:03,548 --> 00:02:07,628
Hola. Л‡Ay quГ© rico estГЎs, papito!
21
00:02:07,677 --> 00:02:10,844
Bonjour. Je m'appelle Ali.
22
00:02:10,889 --> 00:02:13,177
J'habite in Staines.
23
00:02:33,620 --> 00:02:38,412
You made me use me last tissue.
Me ain't got another one now.
24
00:02:38,458 --> 00:02:42,242
Hijo su chingada madre.
ЕјTe crees chingГіn, cabrГіn?
25
00:02:42,295 --> 00:02:46,791
No sabes que te puedo matar,
pinche canario.
26
00:02:47,550 --> 00:02:50,124
You what? Speak to the hand
27
00:02:50,178 --> 00:02:52,751
cos the face, it ain't listening.
28
00:02:52,806 --> 00:02:54,597
Л‡MГЎtalo!
29
00:02:58,436 --> 00:03:00,014
Ooh!
30
00:03:00,063 --> 00:03:02,435
Sorry.
31
00:03:04,150 --> 00:03:06,558
No!
32
00:03:27,173 --> 00:03:32,760
Remember, life is the most
precious gift that Jah has given us.
33
00:04:15,472 --> 00:04:17,927
Unlucky.
34
00:04:20,602 --> 00:04:25,098
You saved us.
l just really want to thank you.
35
00:04:27,025 --> 00:04:29,979
Л‡Ay, Dios mГo!
36
00:04:30,028 --> 00:04:32,945
That's gonna need the two of us.
37
00:04:35,450 --> 00:04:38,202
Here, let me help you with that.
38
00:04:38,244 --> 00:04:41,198
j& .. make you want me
39
00:04:41,247 --> 00:04:43,999
j& And l'm-a give you
some attention... j&
40
00:04:44,918 --> 00:04:47,753
That's very nice.
41
00:04:47,796 --> 00:04:50,287
Yes, please.
42
00:04:51,383 --> 00:04:55,297
Thank you very much. That's good.
43
00:04:57,806 --> 00:04:59,549
2 Pac, no!
44
00:05:03,937 --> 00:05:06,938
Whatever.
45
00:05:09,943 --> 00:05:12,694
Yeah, baby, play with the balls.
46
00:05:14,447 --> 00:05:16,985
- Ali, are you awake?
- For real.
47
00:05:17,033 --> 00:05:21,410
Ali-Pally, do you know how late it
is? You're still in bed, all asleep.
48
00:05:21,454 --> 00:05:23,613
Sorry, Nan.
49
00:05:23,665 --> 00:05:27,081
j& lt's nice to get up in the morning
in the good old summertime
50
00:05:27,127 --> 00:05:31,041
j& Four and five and six o'clock
in the good old summertime
51
00:05:31,089 --> 00:05:35,252
j& When the winter comes...
52
00:05:35,301 --> 00:05:38,255
j& lt's nice to get up
in the morning...
53
00:05:39,347 --> 00:05:41,304
j& But better to stay in bed j&
54
00:05:43,017 --> 00:05:45,935
That's better.
55
00:05:45,979 --> 00:05:50,273
lt's not nice to play with your
poopik when Nana's in the room.
56
00:05:50,316 --> 00:05:53,567
- You're teaching your class today.
- Wicked.
57
00:05:53,611 --> 00:05:55,651
Out of bed, choppy chop.
58
00:06:09,919 --> 00:06:12,790
j& Wicked, wicked
j& Junglist massive
59
00:06:12,839 --> 00:06:15,626
j& Wicked, wicked
j& Junglist massive
60
00:06:15,675 --> 00:06:18,593
j& Wicked, wicked
j& Junglist massive
61
00:06:19,554 --> 00:06:21,013
j& Wicked, original...
62
00:06:21,473 --> 00:06:24,390
(j& Banging jungle beats,
ragga rapping)
63
00:06:39,032 --> 00:06:40,063
j& Booyaka! Booyaka!
64
00:06:41,493 --> 00:06:42,951
j& Booyaka! Booyaka!
65
00:06:44,662 --> 00:06:45,777
j& Booyaka! Booyaka!
66
00:06:47,165 --> 00:06:49,917
j& Booyaka! Booyaka!
67
00:06:49,959 --> 00:06:51,418
j& lncredible... j&
68
00:07:06,726 --> 00:07:08,719
- Yo, yo! Aight?
- Aight!
69
00:07:08,770 --> 00:07:10,264
Urgh.
70
00:07:10,313 --> 00:07:11,938
Respect.
71
00:07:11,981 --> 00:07:14,982
So, what's going down
in Staines town, my nigger?
72
00:07:15,026 --> 00:07:19,071
Nigger, we just be kicking back,
sucking on some gin and juice.
73
00:07:19,114 --> 00:07:20,442
Laid-back.
74
00:07:20,490 --> 00:07:22,483
- Aight.
- For real.
75
00:07:22,534 --> 00:07:24,989
Jezzy, is you wearing green?
76
00:07:25,745 --> 00:07:29,660
l knew it. You is defected
to the lver Heath posse, innit?
77
00:07:29,707 --> 00:07:31,830
- Let's stab him.
- Wait!
78
00:07:31,876 --> 00:07:37,297
Me mum washed me yellow top with
my brother's blue football socks.
79
00:07:37,340 --> 00:07:41,338
All right. But you tell that slag
that in the ghetto,
80
00:07:41,386 --> 00:07:46,380
washing non-colourfast synthetics
at 60 degrees could be fatal.
81
00:07:46,433 --> 00:07:49,932
Will you boys move?
l've told you it's a fire risk.
82
00:07:49,978 --> 00:07:54,058
Hey, yo, yo, yo, what's the problem?
Four brothers chilling out,
83
00:07:54,107 --> 00:07:56,894
maxing, relaxing,
it ain't too taxing.
84
00:07:56,943 --> 00:07:58,437
Boof!
85
00:07:58,486 --> 00:08:01,855
- Move!
- We'll sit on the bench. Yes.
86
00:08:09,080 --> 00:08:11,571
The East Staines Massiv.
87
00:08:11,624 --> 00:08:16,582
lf it ain't the West Staines Massiv
outside their precious centre.
88
00:08:18,798 --> 00:08:20,625
Booyakasha!
89
00:08:20,675 --> 00:08:22,964
Wickety-wackety-sha! Boo!
90
00:08:23,928 --> 00:08:27,132
Eastside is the best.
91
00:08:27,182 --> 00:08:29,388
Westside is the best.
92
00:08:32,020 --> 00:08:34,641
- Eastside is the best.
- Westside is the best.
93
00:08:34,689 --> 00:08:38,023
- Westside is the best.
- Eastside is the best.
94
00:08:38,068 --> 00:08:41,068
Shit, l meant Westside is the best.
95
00:08:41,112 --> 00:08:44,777
Anyways, you is on our turf.
96
00:08:44,824 --> 00:08:48,442
Once you pass
the Bumblebees Day Nursery,
97
00:08:48,495 --> 00:08:52,706
just before the mini-roundabout,
then you is in the Westside.
98
00:08:52,749 --> 00:08:54,492
- We don't care.
- Oh, yeah?
99
00:08:54,542 --> 00:08:56,914
Your mama is so fat
100
00:08:56,961 --> 00:09:00,793
that when she volunteered to clean
the cages at the zoo,
101
00:09:00,840 --> 00:09:05,549
people them-a walk by and say,
'Look at that hippopotamus.'
102
00:09:05,595 --> 00:09:08,798
That ain't fair. lt's glandular.
103
00:09:10,558 --> 00:09:14,177
- Let's leave these batty boys.
- Your mama's a batty boy.
104
00:09:19,025 --> 00:09:21,065
Oooh!
105
00:09:26,908 --> 00:09:28,948
Slow down!
106
00:09:34,958 --> 00:09:36,535
Stop!
107
00:09:36,584 --> 00:09:40,534
- Eastside!
- He's gonna get himself killed.
108
00:09:40,588 --> 00:09:43,126
Yo, yo, G, it's the LAPD.
109
00:09:43,174 --> 00:09:45,416
Yeah? And?
110
00:09:47,053 --> 00:09:50,303
Oh, man, you are one bad mofo.
111
00:09:50,348 --> 00:09:52,471
l is feeling it. You rocking it?
112
00:09:52,517 --> 00:09:55,269
- l'm feeling it.
- l'm checking it.
113
00:09:55,311 --> 00:09:57,885
- l'm kissing it.
- l'm checking it.
114
00:10:00,525 --> 00:10:03,098
Wicked!
115
00:10:03,153 --> 00:10:04,813
Wicked!
116
00:10:06,072 --> 00:10:08,112
Wicked now, wicked now, wicked!
117
00:10:08,158 --> 00:10:10,862
j& Me got the chick-ahn,
me like the chick-ahn!
118
00:10:10,910 --> 00:10:14,362
j& Me got the chicken-wicken,
a-rockin' and a-pickin
119
00:10:14,414 --> 00:10:16,205
j& Me got...
120
00:10:16,249 --> 00:10:19,416
j& A to the L to the l to the G ,
Ali G, that's me, that's me
121
00:10:19,461 --> 00:10:22,627
j& A to the L to the l to the G,
that's G - that's me, that's me
122
00:10:22,672 --> 00:10:24,712
j& R to the l to the C
to the K to the Y
123
00:10:24,758 --> 00:10:27,165
j& That's Ricky C
Ricky C to the C to the C
124
00:10:27,218 --> 00:10:28,499
j& Ricky C... j&
125
00:10:28,553 --> 00:10:31,009
Wait. l is gonna be late
for me class. Let's go.
126
00:10:32,098 --> 00:10:35,882
Crack cocaine
is destroying our community.
127
00:10:35,935 --> 00:10:40,313
So when a brother makes it through,
they deserve our respect.
128
00:10:40,356 --> 00:10:42,433
So let's big it up for Darren,
129
00:10:42,484 --> 00:10:46,777
who's been clean and off the crack
now for eight years.
130
00:10:46,821 --> 00:10:49,941
- Eight and three-quarter years.
- Whatever.
131
00:10:49,991 --> 00:10:55,614
Me don't wanna say this but
most of you ain't never gonna see 1 1 .
132
00:10:55,663 --> 00:10:57,739
Booka!
133
00:10:58,625 --> 00:11:00,748
Drive-bys.
134
00:11:00,794 --> 00:11:04,661
- Look, he's crying. Homo! Homo!
- Hey!
135
00:11:04,714 --> 00:11:08,498
We'll have none of that
language here. The word is batty boy.
136
00:11:08,551 --> 00:11:11,422
(All chant) Batty boy! Batty boy!
137
00:11:11,471 --> 00:11:16,216
Better. Everybody up!
Time to give out this week's badges.
138
00:11:16,267 --> 00:11:19,434
First, big it up
for me main man Andy,
139
00:11:19,479 --> 00:11:22,350
who has finally got
his Hot-Wiring badge
140
00:11:22,399 --> 00:11:25,103
and his Advanced Swearing badge.
141
00:11:25,151 --> 00:11:29,231
- Shit off, you hairy dog's cock.
- Respect.
142
00:11:29,280 --> 00:11:34,026
Since you has got your fifth badge,
you has earned your second slit.
143
00:11:35,161 --> 00:11:38,744
Hopefully one day
you'll get to be Tyrone's level.
144
00:11:38,790 --> 00:11:42,835
lf you gets any better,
we'll have to start doing your pubes.
145
00:11:42,877 --> 00:11:47,504
- l don't have any.
- Well, l is got millions.
146
00:11:47,549 --> 00:11:51,760
Now, remember -
without realness, we is nothing.
147
00:11:51,803 --> 00:11:54,674
So, posse, keep it real!
148
00:11:54,723 --> 00:11:56,799
Keep it real!
149
00:11:59,018 --> 00:12:03,597
On the streets, your homie
would take a cap in his ass for you.
150
00:12:03,648 --> 00:12:08,690
So let's start with
a very basic trust exercise.
151
00:12:08,737 --> 00:12:13,445
- One, two, three.
- Ali, can l have a word?
152
00:12:13,491 --> 00:12:17,821
- Sure.
- lt's about the centre.
153
00:12:17,871 --> 00:12:21,287
l know how much these classes
mean to you
154
00:12:21,332 --> 00:12:25,200
and how much the kids enjoy them.
155
00:12:25,253 --> 00:12:28,622
But the government's withdrawn
our funding.
156
00:12:28,673 --> 00:12:32,801
They're closing down
the John Nike Leisure Centre.
157
00:12:35,555 --> 00:12:40,098
You what? How is these kids meant
to make it out of the ghetto now?
158
00:12:40,143 --> 00:12:43,927
- They'll have to go somewhere else.
- Somewhere else?
159
00:12:43,980 --> 00:12:47,894
Do you know what this centre
means to them? And to me?
160
00:12:47,942 --> 00:12:51,892
This is the spiritual home
of the West Staines Massiv.
161
00:12:51,946 --> 00:12:54,864
This is like what Mecca is
to the Jews.
162
00:12:54,908 --> 00:12:57,992
lt's like what Kentucky is
to chickens.
163
00:12:58,036 --> 00:13:02,864
And it was here when me
first felt me Julie's...
164
00:13:03,958 --> 00:13:07,659
Ali, there's nothing you can do.
165
00:13:07,712 --> 00:13:11,212
Now, you better go and tell the kids.
166
00:13:30,527 --> 00:13:34,192
l ain't never gonna let them
close us down.
167
00:13:34,239 --> 00:13:36,777
Keep it real, yeah?
168
00:13:39,327 --> 00:13:42,778
Dinner with
the Belgian prime minister at eight.
169
00:13:42,831 --> 00:13:46,579
And the Deputy Prime Minister
wishes to speak to you.
170
00:13:46,626 --> 00:13:50,624
- Has he heard the poll results yet?
- Yes, l wish l hadn't.
171
00:13:50,672 --> 00:13:52,795
Gallup puts us 22 points behind.
172
00:13:52,841 --> 00:13:55,296
- And MORl?
- 23 points behind.
173
00:13:55,343 --> 00:13:58,261
The youth vote's
deserting us in droves.
174
00:13:58,304 --> 00:14:00,795
Focus groups say we're out of touch.
175
00:14:00,849 --> 00:14:02,806
- We are.
- Don't be silly.
176
00:14:02,851 --> 00:14:04,927
Will we lose this by-election?
177
00:14:04,978 --> 00:14:09,355
We haven't lost Staines in 20 years
and we're not about to start.
178
00:14:09,399 --> 00:14:11,273
We just have an image problem.
179
00:14:11,317 --> 00:14:15,185
We have to find a candidate
who will improve that image.
180
00:14:15,238 --> 00:14:17,396
Somebody young.
181
00:14:18,491 --> 00:14:21,196
- Somebody ethnic.
- Somebody in touch.
182
00:14:21,244 --> 00:14:23,402
- Exactly.
- You're right.
183
00:14:23,455 --> 00:14:28,911
We need an intellectually superior
candidate to guarantee us victory.
184
00:14:29,627 --> 00:14:31,869
- Easy now, Mrs Hugh.
- Booyakasha.
185
00:14:31,921 --> 00:14:35,290
- ls me Julie about?
- She's upstairs.
186
00:14:35,341 --> 00:14:39,470
Hello, baby, l's been missing you
so much today.
187
00:14:39,512 --> 00:14:44,139
You is looking so fine. All l want
to do is pull your panties down...
188
00:14:44,184 --> 00:14:46,010
Ali.
189
00:14:46,061 --> 00:14:49,015
- Hello, me Julie.
- Stop feeling up Nina.
190
00:14:49,064 --> 00:14:52,895
- l got confused.
- You're never confused with Tracey.
191
00:14:52,942 --> 00:14:56,608
- Hello, Ali.
- Hello.
192
00:14:56,654 --> 00:14:58,730
You know you is me only bitch.
193
00:14:58,782 --> 00:15:01,107
Ho. Lady?
194
00:15:01,159 --> 00:15:04,777
When me close me eyes,
you is the only girl me think about.
195
00:15:04,829 --> 00:15:07,499
j& Gal flex, time to have sex
196
00:15:08,416 --> 00:15:10,456
j& Jump in my Lex, steam a blunt,
pop a vex
197
00:15:10,502 --> 00:15:12,660
j& Now you know that my style
is rated XX... j&
198
00:15:12,712 --> 00:15:17,125
- Ali, open your eyes.
- Sorry, there was something in them.
199
00:15:17,175 --> 00:15:20,259
Because there's these fleas
going around,
200
00:15:20,303 --> 00:15:24,550
two of them, coming in again
and they're in me eyes!
201
00:15:24,599 --> 00:15:27,137
j& Open up dem legs a-wider... j&
202
00:15:27,185 --> 00:15:30,435
You've been a very bad boy
and you need to be punished.
203
00:15:30,480 --> 00:15:33,564
- Are you a bad boy?
- Yes, l am.
204
00:15:33,608 --> 00:15:36,099
My skin is so dry.
205
00:15:36,152 --> 00:15:39,770
So for being a bad boy,
l want you to rub oil into me,
206
00:15:39,823 --> 00:15:43,867
paying special attention
to my breasts and my batty crease.
207
00:15:43,910 --> 00:15:46,662
OK, l will do that.
208
00:15:46,704 --> 00:15:51,117
But first, l want you to
take your hat off, you naughty boy.
209
00:15:51,167 --> 00:15:53,243
But me never take me hat off.
210
00:15:53,294 --> 00:15:55,868
You take that off
and l'll take these off.
211
00:15:55,922 --> 00:15:58,080
OK.
212
00:16:04,222 --> 00:16:06,843
Now l'm going to milk you.
213
00:16:06,891 --> 00:16:09,762
- 'Ali.
- Give me one more sec.
214
00:16:09,811 --> 00:16:13,227
- Behave, Alistair.
- J-Lo.
215
00:16:13,273 --> 00:16:15,598
They is closing down the centre.
216
00:16:15,650 --> 00:16:20,063
l is gonna go on hunger strike
until they save it...or until l die.
217
00:16:20,113 --> 00:16:25,320
So just in case l do join Tupac
and Biggie in that ghetto in the sky,
218
00:16:25,368 --> 00:16:28,784
l's come here to bone you
one last time.
219
00:16:28,830 --> 00:16:31,617
Mr Johnson might have something
to say about that.
220
00:16:31,666 --> 00:16:34,584
- Can l watch?
- l got not problem with that.
221
00:16:34,627 --> 00:16:36,371
Ali!
222
00:16:36,421 --> 00:16:39,126
Don't do nothing stupid, all right?
223
00:16:46,473 --> 00:16:49,474
Hear me now.
She ain't really me Julie.
224
00:16:49,517 --> 00:16:53,136
ln real life l is going out
with someone much fitter.
225
00:16:53,188 --> 00:16:56,557
But they do that
to make me more accessible.
226
00:16:56,608 --> 00:17:01,104
Which means you girls think l will
knob you, even if you is a minger.
227
00:17:07,952 --> 00:17:10,740
OK, you got ten seconds
till you start.
228
00:17:10,789 --> 00:17:12,865
More! More!
229
00:17:14,542 --> 00:17:17,329
OK, and go.
230
00:17:17,379 --> 00:17:19,786
Mr G, why are you on hunger strike?
231
00:17:19,839 --> 00:17:22,626
ln the struggle for...
232
00:17:24,302 --> 00:17:28,798
ln the struggle for justice,
l is willing to lay down me life.
233
00:17:28,848 --> 00:17:32,846
Just like
Martin Luther...Vandross did.
234
00:17:35,522 --> 00:17:39,685
Local party chairman Alan Swan
has some names for the by-election.
235
00:17:39,734 --> 00:17:42,854
This is a great honour.
l've always admired...
236
00:17:42,904 --> 00:17:47,281
- The names, Swan.
- Right. Well, er...
237
00:17:47,325 --> 00:17:52,948
There are three really outstanding
candidates that match your criteria.
238
00:17:52,997 --> 00:17:57,209
Top of the list is Andrew Hamilton,
PhD political science,
239
00:17:57,252 --> 00:18:00,253
studied PPE at Oxford,
gained a starred first.
240
00:18:00,296 --> 00:18:02,918
Have you tried these new
chicken dippers?
241
00:18:02,966 --> 00:18:06,750
- They're really good.
- What sauce are you going for?
242
00:18:06,803 --> 00:18:08,427
l think it's barbecue.
243
00:18:16,271 --> 00:18:18,559
l can't take it!
244
00:18:26,906 --> 00:18:29,397
Chicken dippers!
245
00:18:32,120 --> 00:18:35,204
- Good, we can go home now.
- Oh, nips.
246
00:18:35,248 --> 00:18:37,573
l'll get the keys, yeah?
247
00:18:37,625 --> 00:18:40,829
Starting again from...now!
248
00:18:40,879 --> 00:18:44,212
j& Bring it! What? We right here... j&
249
00:18:45,258 --> 00:18:47,381
No.
250
00:18:48,470 --> 00:18:52,598
j& We right here,
this is ours and we don't share j&
251
00:18:52,640 --> 00:18:57,053
- What has we got here, then?
- l is doing a serious protest.
252
00:18:57,103 --> 00:18:59,855
ln that case, we'll leave you to it.
253
00:18:59,898 --> 00:19:02,649
Oh, thanks.
254
00:19:02,692 --> 00:19:05,100
There was just one thing, though.
255
00:19:08,990 --> 00:19:11,777
j& ..joint made this year
that'll knock till 2003
256
00:19:11,826 --> 00:19:14,993
j& Y'all gonna see
that the hottest nigger out there
257
00:19:15,038 --> 00:19:18,738
j& Was and will be me
j& Just like that
258
00:19:18,792 --> 00:19:20,250
j& l can go away for a minute
259
00:19:20,293 --> 00:19:22,866
j& Do some other shit
but bounce right back... j&
260
00:19:25,131 --> 00:19:29,924
Grow, Biggie, grow.
l has gotta get a semi lob-on.
261
00:19:29,969 --> 00:19:32,176
Jennifer Lopez, Jennifer Lopez.
262
00:19:34,391 --> 00:19:39,633
Jennifer Lopez lezzing off with the
big-thighed one in Destiny's Child.
263
00:19:45,568 --> 00:19:48,522
Look here now!
Look at my massive beast!
264
00:19:50,907 --> 00:19:53,445
You filthy animal!
265
00:20:01,126 --> 00:20:04,411
Oh, Shep, this rail is very dirty.
266
00:20:04,462 --> 00:20:07,084
lt's going to need
a lot of polishing.
267
00:20:09,092 --> 00:20:13,090
PhD in economics,
three years at Harvard, age 34...
268
00:20:13,138 --> 00:20:16,304
Swan? ls there any reason
why there should be
269
00:20:16,349 --> 00:20:20,299
an absurdly dressed,
half-naked man chained to a fence
270
00:20:20,353 --> 00:20:23,888
being tossed off
by an old, blind council worker?
271
00:20:26,568 --> 00:20:31,989
lgnore him. lt's the local idiot
making some pathetic protest.
272
00:20:32,031 --> 00:20:34,404
Unchain him and bring him in here.
273
00:20:34,451 --> 00:20:37,072
- But l'm trying to...
- Bring him in, Swan.
274
00:20:40,915 --> 00:20:43,833
Straight ahead
at the top of the stairs.
275
00:20:45,462 --> 00:20:49,411
j& Freak me, baby
j& Yeah, just like that
276
00:20:49,466 --> 00:20:51,957
j& Freak me, baby
j& Come on, come on
277
00:20:52,093 --> 00:20:55,011
j& Freak me, baby
278
00:20:55,055 --> 00:20:57,972
j& Let me lick you up and down
279
00:20:58,016 --> 00:21:00,554
j& Till you say stop
280
00:21:01,978 --> 00:21:04,979
j& Let me play with your body, baby
281
00:21:05,023 --> 00:21:07,181
j& Make you real hot j&
282
00:21:08,902 --> 00:21:14,607
j& Let me do all the tings
you want me to do
283
00:21:17,327 --> 00:21:23,495
j& Cos tonight, baby,
l wanna get freaky with you j&
284
00:21:25,794 --> 00:21:30,041
l'm Kate Hedges, the Deputy
Prime Minister's secretary.
285
00:21:30,090 --> 00:21:33,126
Come in
and you can pull your pants up now.
286
00:21:39,224 --> 00:21:42,924
Hello, l'm David Carlton,
the Deputy Prime Minister.
287
00:21:42,977 --> 00:21:47,022
Hello.
l is Ali G, the dominating MC.
288
00:21:47,065 --> 00:21:50,101
Making bitches touch their punani.
289
00:21:50,151 --> 00:21:53,520
- The number after two, it be...
- Three.
290
00:21:53,571 --> 00:21:56,940
Not Ali A, not Ali B,
not Ali C, not Ali D,
291
00:21:56,991 --> 00:21:58,651
not Ali...
292
00:21:59,828 --> 00:22:02,069
E...
293
00:22:02,122 --> 00:22:04,198
not Ali...
294
00:22:06,501 --> 00:22:08,244
F...
295
00:22:08,294 --> 00:22:10,204
- but Ali...
- G.
296
00:22:10,255 --> 00:22:14,087
Bo! Your rhymes is tight
for a honkey, yes, sir.
297
00:22:14,134 --> 00:22:16,672
That's his full name and address.
298
00:22:16,720 --> 00:22:18,878
Tell me, Ali, do you have a job?
299
00:22:18,930 --> 00:22:21,801
l is recently gone on the dole.
300
00:22:21,891 --> 00:22:25,011
- When?
- Eight years and three months ago.
301
00:22:25,061 --> 00:22:28,395
lt says here you claim disability.
Are you...?
302
00:22:28,440 --> 00:22:31,891
Yes, l is actually spasticated.
303
00:22:31,943 --> 00:22:34,185
l is got a terrible DJing injury
304
00:22:34,237 --> 00:22:37,571
and still ain't got full mobility
in me mixing finger.
305
00:22:37,615 --> 00:22:40,652
Fok-chickety-fok-fok-fresh. Ow.
306
00:22:40,702 --> 00:22:44,865
Everything down there
is still working. Oh, yes. Yes.
307
00:22:44,914 --> 00:22:49,375
Ali, erm...would you sit down?
Please, sit down.
308
00:22:52,672 --> 00:22:57,749
- Would you ever become an MP?
- What for? lt's full of pricks.
309
00:22:57,802 --> 00:23:01,586
That's a little harsh.
l'm an MP, am l a prick?
310
00:23:01,639 --> 00:23:05,637
- Yes.
- Let's try a different angle.
311
00:23:07,395 --> 00:23:09,851
ls there nothing
you'd like to change?
312
00:23:09,898 --> 00:23:13,847
Me'd wanna save the John Nike
Leisure Centre, obviously.
313
00:23:13,902 --> 00:23:17,318
As the MP for Staines,
you could achieve that.
314
00:23:17,363 --> 00:23:19,855
Would you stand in this by-election?
315
00:23:19,908 --> 00:23:22,659
Me gotta be honest,
me ain't actually bi.
316
00:23:22,702 --> 00:23:24,778
- Well...
- l mean,
317
00:23:24,829 --> 00:23:27,071
obviously l done it with two girls.
318
00:23:27,123 --> 00:23:29,199
Well, l seen it on the internet.
319
00:23:29,250 --> 00:23:33,996
But me would never feel completely
comfortable being bummed by a man.
320
00:23:34,047 --> 00:23:36,253
A lot of people say never say ever
321
00:23:36,299 --> 00:23:40,249
but me feel strongly that me
exit hole should stay me exit hole
322
00:23:40,303 --> 00:23:44,052
and never become me entry hole,
you know what l is saying?
323
00:23:44,099 --> 00:23:46,768
Yes, yes.
324
00:23:46,810 --> 00:23:49,764
Well, it's been
a pleasure meeting you.
325
00:23:49,813 --> 00:23:52,767
David.
326
00:23:55,443 --> 00:23:57,270
Later, sweetheart.
327
00:24:13,545 --> 00:24:15,917
David?
328
00:24:15,964 --> 00:24:20,044
What are you doing? He was
the biggest idiot l have ever met.
329
00:24:20,093 --> 00:24:24,138
- Choose him and we'll never win.
- l know.
330
00:24:24,180 --> 00:24:28,095
There'll be a leadership crisis.
The PM will be out.
331
00:24:28,143 --> 00:24:30,847
And who could possibly replace him?
332
00:24:33,398 --> 00:24:37,478
Ali has two weeks
to lose us 18,000 votes.
333
00:24:37,527 --> 00:24:39,769
Let's get him on the campaign trail.
334
00:24:44,033 --> 00:24:48,779
Easy, rude boy. Me name be Ali G
and me is here representing Staines.
335
00:24:48,830 --> 00:24:51,202
Can me count on your vote?
336
00:24:51,249 --> 00:24:53,657
- Definitely not.
- Hairy muff.
337
00:24:53,710 --> 00:24:55,287
Seeing as l is here,
338
00:24:55,336 --> 00:24:59,120
could me interest you in
a quarter of Moroccan black?
339
00:24:59,174 --> 00:25:01,166
lt's well good shit!
340
00:25:01,217 --> 00:25:04,669
Dave, it's your turn
to shit through the letterbox.
341
00:25:04,721 --> 00:25:08,339
Our anti-bullying programme
has won lots of praise.
342
00:25:08,391 --> 00:25:12,934
lnstances of bullying in
this school are at an all-time low.
343
00:25:12,979 --> 00:25:16,811
Jonathan used to suffer terribly
from bullies.
344
00:25:16,858 --> 00:25:19,859
l ain't surprised. Look at him.
345
00:25:19,903 --> 00:25:25,692
Hey, fatty bum bum. Hey, fatty bum
bum. Want another cream cake?
346
00:25:26,785 --> 00:25:29,073
Boiiing! Boiiing! Boiiing!
347
00:25:31,247 --> 00:25:33,655
He is well fat, though.
348
00:25:33,708 --> 00:25:38,951
All you motherfuckers,
fuck-fuck-fuck fuckers!
349
00:25:39,005 --> 00:25:43,133
Vote for the G, the motherfuckin' G.
Me, the motherfuckin' G.
350
00:25:43,176 --> 00:25:45,928
All the bitches in the house say yo.
351
00:25:48,181 --> 00:25:53,520
Vote for me
cos me know what you lezzers want.
352
00:25:53,561 --> 00:25:59,185
l is a big supporter of your cause
and l is got many of your videos.
353
00:25:59,234 --> 00:26:04,690
lf you vote for me, me give you me
pledge to lower taxes on strap-ons.
354
00:26:06,866 --> 00:26:09,867
Why is you getting so eggy?
ls you all on?
355
00:26:09,911 --> 00:26:14,372
Ladies and gentlemen, to commemorate
the town hall extension,
356
00:26:14,416 --> 00:26:18,460
we're asking all the candidates
to lay down a brick.
357
00:26:18,503 --> 00:26:20,828
Ali, would you lay one for us now?
358
00:26:20,880 --> 00:26:23,418
- What, here?
- We would be honoured.
359
00:26:23,466 --> 00:26:25,673
- ln front of everyone?
- Yes.
360
00:26:40,650 --> 00:26:42,477
Not bad.
361
00:26:42,527 --> 00:26:44,983
This is absolutely vital.
362
00:26:45,029 --> 00:26:47,271
10 days ago we were 14 points ahead,
363
00:26:47,323 --> 00:26:50,194
with one day to go
we are eight points behind.
364
00:26:50,243 --> 00:26:53,992
Listen. Did you get the manifesto
that l sent to you?
365
00:26:55,915 --> 00:26:59,119
- You got a roach?
- Er... For real.
366
00:27:05,717 --> 00:27:09,417
- You got another roach?
- Yeah, for real.
367
00:27:09,471 --> 00:27:13,053
- Yeah.
- Wicked.
368
00:27:13,099 --> 00:27:15,769
Yes. lt was very helpful.
369
00:27:15,810 --> 00:27:19,179
30 seconds till we're on air.
Come with me.
370
00:27:19,230 --> 00:27:22,931
Good luck. Don't hold back.
371
00:27:28,865 --> 00:27:33,693
ln the most crucial by-election
of the past decade,
372
00:27:33,745 --> 00:27:38,039
we're joined by ex-Environment
Secretary David Griffiths
373
00:27:38,083 --> 00:27:40,159
and newcomer Ali G.
374
00:27:40,210 --> 00:27:43,294
This debate will help you
make up your mind.
375
00:27:43,338 --> 00:27:47,715
Ali, if elected,
what would you do for Staines?
376
00:27:47,759 --> 00:27:50,428
Me'd save
the John Nike Leisure Centre.
377
00:27:50,470 --> 00:27:53,043
You can't mean your sole policy
378
00:27:53,098 --> 00:27:58,340
is to save a centre that's barely
used and a terrible drain on funds?
379
00:27:58,395 --> 00:28:01,016
What are your other policies?
380
00:28:01,064 --> 00:28:05,441
- My other policies?
- Yes, you must have some.
381
00:28:08,321 --> 00:28:10,480
Well...
382
00:28:11,616 --> 00:28:16,955
l think it is well important
to reduce inflay-tee-on
383
00:28:16,996 --> 00:28:22,418
and also to invest in the nehuss.
384
00:28:24,170 --> 00:28:26,412
The nahuss.
385
00:28:26,464 --> 00:28:29,382
- Oh, the NHS.
- You're reading from my sheet.
386
00:28:29,426 --> 00:28:33,554
No, l ain't. l is thought of them
things meself, you copied from me.
387
00:28:33,596 --> 00:28:35,589
lt wasn't me.
388
00:28:35,640 --> 00:28:39,223
Then perhaps you'd tell me
where you stand on the ERM?
389
00:28:39,269 --> 00:28:42,969
No problem. Me thought
their first album was wack.
390
00:28:43,022 --> 00:28:44,932
Me hate all indie music.
391
00:28:44,983 --> 00:28:49,277
The voters deserve better, you're
making a mockery of this debate.
392
00:28:50,363 --> 00:28:52,985
What? ls you looking in the mirror?
393
00:28:53,032 --> 00:28:57,825
You're making it obvious
to the voters what a buffoon you are.
394
00:28:57,871 --> 00:29:01,489
Talking about yourself again?
l think so.
395
00:29:01,541 --> 00:29:05,040
You are an embarrassment
to the people of Staines.
396
00:29:05,086 --> 00:29:08,004
That is not a nice way
to talk about your mum.
397
00:29:08,048 --> 00:29:13,255
l put it to you that you are
the worst possible candidate
398
00:29:13,303 --> 00:29:16,173
ever put forward
by your miserable party.
399
00:29:16,222 --> 00:29:18,844
Well, l put it to you...
400
00:29:27,525 --> 00:29:29,981
that you sucked off a horse.
401
00:29:33,239 --> 00:29:36,240
l did not, er...suck off a horse.
402
00:29:38,078 --> 00:29:41,909
l have already dealt with this issue
with the party chairman
403
00:29:41,956 --> 00:29:44,163
and as l explained to him,
404
00:29:44,209 --> 00:29:48,076
l was out hunting with a friend
405
00:29:48,129 --> 00:29:52,957
and l slipped onto
the end of a horse's phallus,
406
00:29:53,009 --> 00:29:58,715
which, unfortunately,
owing to it being the mating season,
407
00:29:58,765 --> 00:30:01,470
was aroused.
408
00:30:05,105 --> 00:30:08,189
Why is he going?
Does he need to go and do a pony?
409
00:30:09,526 --> 00:30:12,277
ls that a yes or a neigh?
410
00:30:12,320 --> 00:30:15,072
Why isn't he speaking?
ls he a bit hoarse?
411
00:30:15,115 --> 00:30:18,365
Was that a lie or the tr-hoof?
412
00:30:18,410 --> 00:30:22,277
Tell you what, they ought to read
the gallop polls tomorrow!
413
00:30:22,330 --> 00:30:28,534
More drama with the unexpected
withdrawal of David Griffiths.
414
00:30:28,586 --> 00:30:32,714
Tomorrow's vote is now between
Thomas Alvarez and Ali G,
415
00:30:32,757 --> 00:30:34,964
with the result too close to call.
416
00:30:35,468 --> 00:30:41,092
Thomas Alvarez,
Liberal Democrat, 5,080 votes.
417
00:30:44,394 --> 00:30:46,600
Alistair Leslie Graham...
418
00:30:46,646 --> 00:30:49,433
Who? What a stupid name.
419
00:30:49,482 --> 00:30:54,690
- 5,086 votes.
- You won! You did it!
420
00:30:55,989 --> 00:30:58,562
And l now declare
421
00:30:58,616 --> 00:31:04,121
Ali G has been duly elected
as Member of Parliament for Staines.
422
00:31:09,794 --> 00:31:13,459
Do you want to see the new
Member of Parliament, aight?
423
00:31:16,926 --> 00:31:21,588
Look how l is touching meself. Do you like that?
424
00:31:21,639 --> 00:31:23,383
ls that turning you on?
425
00:31:23,433 --> 00:31:25,722
- 'Not really.
- 'Mm.
426
00:31:25,769 --> 00:31:29,102
Give a kiss to Mr Gherkin.
427
00:31:29,147 --> 00:31:34,568
- 'You're so long and hard!
- 'That's the handbrake.
428
00:31:34,611 --> 00:31:37,362
Now, let's get jiggy.
429
00:31:37,405 --> 00:31:40,940
j& Mr Boombastic, reggae fantastic!
430
00:31:40,992 --> 00:31:43,198
j& Take it as a dooby-dooby-doogy
431
00:31:43,244 --> 00:31:45,202
j& Mr Ro-Ro-Ro-Ro-Ro...
432
00:31:45,246 --> 00:31:48,496
j& Mmmmmmantic! j&
433
00:31:53,046 --> 00:31:54,291
ls it in yet?
434
00:32:09,187 --> 00:32:12,603
Big up yourself. Respect.
435
00:32:12,649 --> 00:32:14,974
- Big up yourself.
- MP for Staines.
436
00:32:15,026 --> 00:32:19,154
l know you. You was the geezer
that did it with that prossie.
437
00:32:21,574 --> 00:32:23,234
Respect.
438
00:32:25,453 --> 00:32:28,620
- Because this government...
- Order! Order!
439
00:32:30,125 --> 00:32:34,454
This government's conduct
of economic policy
440
00:32:34,504 --> 00:32:37,339
has not only been incompetent,
441
00:32:37,382 --> 00:32:43,171
it has been unscrupulous,
untrustworthy and untruthful.
442
00:32:43,221 --> 00:32:47,171
They is dissin' our posse.
l is gonna sort this.
443
00:32:47,225 --> 00:32:51,139
- Order. Order now.
- And look at this!
444
00:32:51,187 --> 00:32:56,561
Order! Order! Will the Member
for Staines return to his seat?
445
00:32:56,609 --> 00:33:00,821
Will the Member for Staines
return to his seat?!
446
00:33:00,864 --> 00:33:04,861
Order! Order in the House!
447
00:33:08,872 --> 00:33:13,000
- What is he doing?
- l'm not sure, Prime Minister.
448
00:33:15,670 --> 00:33:19,371
- For you to come down to me...
- Shhh.
449
00:33:19,424 --> 00:33:23,172
Relax ya batty.
450
00:33:29,392 --> 00:33:31,681
Look at you!
451
00:33:31,728 --> 00:33:35,144
All you ever do all day long
is cuss each other.
452
00:33:35,190 --> 00:33:39,318
R-E-S-T-E-C-P.
453
00:33:40,403 --> 00:33:45,065
- Do you even know what that spells?
- Restecp?
454
00:33:48,078 --> 00:33:51,909
- Yes. Restecp.
- Restecp.
455
00:33:51,956 --> 00:33:56,369
How's anyone out there
meant to restecp each other
456
00:33:56,419 --> 00:34:02,837
if you lot in here don't even start
restecp-ing one another?
457
00:34:02,884 --> 00:34:04,675
Sergeant, eject him.
458
00:34:04,719 --> 00:34:08,764
Wanna know how to make this country
better? lt's simple. Two words.
459
00:34:08,807 --> 00:34:11,926
- Keep it real.
- That's three words.
460
00:34:11,976 --> 00:34:16,105
Don't be a spanner. ''lt'' ain't
a real word. lt's short for ''innit''.
461
00:34:16,147 --> 00:34:20,940
- Keep it real!
- He is banned from the House.
462
00:34:20,985 --> 00:34:23,061
ls it cos l is black?
463
00:34:23,113 --> 00:34:26,232
What in God's name
have you done to me?
464
00:34:26,282 --> 00:34:29,734
l want that idiot in my office
with his resignation.
465
00:34:29,786 --> 00:34:31,328
Yes, Prime Minister.
466
00:34:31,371 --> 00:34:34,288
Come in.
467
00:34:36,793 --> 00:34:40,660
- Listen, me know me done wrong.
- Haven't you read the papers?
468
00:34:52,183 --> 00:34:53,678
l can't believe it.
469
00:34:55,520 --> 00:34:57,678
This dog can play table tennis.
470
00:34:57,731 --> 00:35:01,859
- lt's the press, they love you.
- But how can he hold the bat?
471
00:35:01,901 --> 00:35:05,602
The Deputy Prime Minister and l
were wondering,
472
00:35:05,655 --> 00:35:08,691
what if l asked you
to join the Cabinet?
473
00:35:08,742 --> 00:35:10,864
No, think about it.
474
00:35:10,910 --> 00:35:15,038
Ali joins the Cabinet,
the two of them are publicly aligned.
475
00:35:15,081 --> 00:35:18,035
Ali slips up,
he takes that old prat with him.
476
00:35:18,084 --> 00:35:19,744
Why would Ali join?
477
00:35:19,794 --> 00:35:24,456
l've told the Prime Minister
to offer to save his leisure centre.
478
00:35:24,507 --> 00:35:27,592
- Are you mad? That would...
- Let me finish.
479
00:35:27,635 --> 00:35:33,970
Offers to save his leisure centre
if Ali gets him a 20-point poll lead.
480
00:35:34,017 --> 00:35:39,224
Now l is in the Cabinet and all,
could l see the red button?
481
00:35:39,272 --> 00:35:41,561
- Can l trust you?
- Yes.
482
00:35:41,608 --> 00:35:43,814
All right. Here we are.
483
00:35:43,860 --> 00:35:49,815
One touch on that red button
could destroy the whole world.
484
00:35:49,866 --> 00:35:53,365
- That is very interesting because...
- No!
485
00:35:53,411 --> 00:35:55,285
Fell for it!
486
00:35:55,330 --> 00:35:58,781
Ali, please, stand away. Dear me.
487
00:35:58,833 --> 00:36:01,371
- Can't we blow up something?
- No!
488
00:36:01,419 --> 00:36:02,878
- Please?
- No.
489
00:36:02,921 --> 00:36:06,005
- Somewhere shitty like Wales.
- Ali.
490
00:36:06,049 --> 00:36:08,338
Their Prime Minister
called your mum a slag.
491
00:36:08,385 --> 00:36:10,377
l am the Prime Minister of Wales!
492
00:36:10,428 --> 00:36:13,050
You shouldn't say that
about your mum.
493
00:36:13,098 --> 00:36:17,724
Your first Cabinet meeting is
Thursday. lt's about asylum seekers.
494
00:36:18,770 --> 00:36:23,147
l'm sending you
on a fact-finding mission.
495
00:36:23,191 --> 00:36:28,268
Anyone trying to smuggle
will probably come through here.
496
00:36:28,321 --> 00:36:31,488
And it's not just immigrants.
Look at this.
497
00:36:33,493 --> 00:36:37,989
You'll be appalled.
Look at this crap.
498
00:36:38,039 --> 00:36:42,867
Marijuana smuggled in from Europe,
South America and the Middle East.
499
00:36:42,919 --> 00:36:45,754
That is terrible.
500
00:36:46,881 --> 00:36:49,004
- ls there any skunk?
- Yes.
501
00:36:49,050 --> 00:36:52,300
Some scumbag
smuggled in 15 kilos of this.
502
00:36:52,345 --> 00:36:55,797
lt's the strongest
super skunk ever discovered.
503
00:36:57,892 --> 00:37:02,222
Over here are the confiscated
weapons and this is where we keep...
504
00:37:08,111 --> 00:37:10,519
You must have such a laugh here.
505
00:37:11,573 --> 00:37:14,277
- No, we don't.
- Oh.
506
00:37:14,325 --> 00:37:18,738
Next we have the mountains
of hardcore pornography,
507
00:37:18,788 --> 00:37:22,323
most of it from Germany.
You may want to look away.
508
00:37:22,375 --> 00:37:25,791
No. l is got a job to do.
509
00:37:29,674 --> 00:37:32,877
l know. lt makes me feel sick, too.
510
00:37:33,970 --> 00:37:37,884
l have to compile me report now,
so if you'd fuck off.
511
00:37:37,932 --> 00:37:40,139
Certainly, sir.
512
00:37:40,185 --> 00:37:44,681
Westminster will be sending down
experts to help with me research.
513
00:37:47,859 --> 00:37:50,267
Hello. We is experts.
514
00:37:59,621 --> 00:38:01,946
SprГјtze in die Arse!
515
00:38:04,667 --> 00:38:08,997
Ali, tell us,
what did you find out in Dover?
516
00:38:09,047 --> 00:38:12,297
Me saw a lot of stuff,
most of it from Germany,
517
00:38:12,342 --> 00:38:16,007
of these blokes going in
through the back door.
518
00:38:16,054 --> 00:38:19,589
He's right.
ln Germany, l experienced it myself.
519
00:38:19,641 --> 00:38:22,807
- Respect.
- l remember one time
520
00:38:22,852 --> 00:38:25,770
there were these
two huge African men
521
00:38:25,814 --> 00:38:30,310
who managed to squeeze themselves
into...this tiny box.
522
00:38:31,653 --> 00:38:34,903
- How long was they in there for?
- 15 hours.
523
00:38:34,948 --> 00:38:38,233
- lt was incredibly emotional.
- lt must've hurt.
524
00:38:38,284 --> 00:38:41,451
- lt still does.
- Sorry.
525
00:38:42,705 --> 00:38:46,573
So, John, what are we going to do
about these asylum seekers?
526
00:38:46,626 --> 00:38:50,624
We can't let them all in,
it would cripple the economy.
527
00:38:50,672 --> 00:38:52,131
Oooh!
528
00:38:52,173 --> 00:38:55,210
- Yes, Ali?
- Let's think about this.
529
00:38:55,260 --> 00:38:58,510
What's the main thing
we ain't got enough of in the UK?
530
00:38:58,555 --> 00:39:00,013
- Hospitals.
- No.
531
00:39:00,056 --> 00:39:03,141
- Libraries?
- Behave!
532
00:39:03,184 --> 00:39:05,675
We ain't got enough fit women.
533
00:39:05,729 --> 00:39:08,564
And we's got too many mingers.
534
00:39:08,606 --> 00:39:10,979
No offence, Karen.
535
00:39:11,025 --> 00:39:15,687
So we let in all the fit refugees
and turn away the rank ones.
536
00:39:15,739 --> 00:39:17,778
Then we solve both problems.
537
00:39:17,824 --> 00:39:22,153
We is knobbing two birds
with one connie.
538
00:39:22,203 --> 00:39:25,868
- This is ludicrous.
- What do you think?
539
00:39:25,915 --> 00:39:29,249
l think...we should keep it real.
540
00:39:30,587 --> 00:39:32,129
Fit.
541
00:39:32,172 --> 00:39:34,710
Fit...fit.
542
00:39:35,925 --> 00:39:37,883
Wait.
543
00:39:37,927 --> 00:39:40,003
Back to Slovenia.
544
00:39:44,309 --> 00:39:47,642
Education standards
are at their lowest for 15 years.
545
00:39:47,687 --> 00:39:52,349
That is because kids is learning
stuff that ain't no use to them.
546
00:39:52,400 --> 00:39:57,311
Who here has ever used maths?
Or English?
547
00:39:58,740 --> 00:40:03,734
Exactly. Let's start
making education relevant.
548
00:40:03,787 --> 00:40:09,410
lf Kevin buys six ounces
of Jamaican sinsemilla from Fat Tony
549
00:40:09,459 --> 00:40:12,246
for ЕЃ480 cash in hand,
550
00:40:12,295 --> 00:40:15,629
and has to divide it
amongst 1 1 of his customers,
551
00:40:15,673 --> 00:40:18,247
how much should he charge
for an eighth
552
00:40:18,301 --> 00:40:21,966
so he can make ЕЃ100 profit
to pay off his child support?
553
00:40:22,013 --> 00:40:27,518
The situation in Northern lreland
is spiralling out of control.
554
00:40:27,560 --> 00:40:29,055
Hear me now.
555
00:40:29,104 --> 00:40:33,148
The only way you is ever gonna get
Hindus to stop killing lslams...
556
00:40:33,191 --> 00:40:37,271
- Catholics fighting Protestants.
- Whatever.
557
00:40:37,320 --> 00:40:42,694
..is to get some really fit woman
to get her babylons out for peace.
558
00:40:42,742 --> 00:40:45,198
- Prime Minister...
- Not you, love.
559
00:40:45,245 --> 00:40:50,998
The army is costing the British
taxpayer ЕЃ4.2 billion a year.
560
00:40:51,042 --> 00:40:54,328
How will the government
reduce this figure?
561
00:40:54,379 --> 00:40:57,962
We is gonna hire the A-Team.
562
00:40:58,007 --> 00:41:00,677
Her Majesty the Queen.
563
00:41:02,846 --> 00:41:06,843
Your Majesty, may l introduce
Ali G, MP for Staines?
564
00:41:24,576 --> 00:41:30,246
Hello, cheeky. You is much fitter
than you look on them coins.
565
00:41:30,290 --> 00:41:33,955
Next time me put a 50p piece
in me pocket
566
00:41:34,002 --> 00:41:38,379
me will feel honoured having
your head so close to me nuts.
567
00:41:38,423 --> 00:41:42,717
Nothing's working, the jobless
figures are at their highest level.
568
00:41:45,638 --> 00:41:50,550
The UK has a special relationship
with the US. Do you like Bush?
569
00:41:50,602 --> 00:41:57,221
Me love bush. Me love anything that
gives foliage to the punani area.
570
00:41:58,693 --> 00:42:01,184
Would you do a dance for me, please?
571
00:42:07,452 --> 00:42:11,284
- Oh, my God.
- Shaven haven. Respect.
572
00:42:11,331 --> 00:42:16,325
- 'As Ali G's influence grows...
- '..a 12-point lead.
573
00:42:16,378 --> 00:42:18,833
The Queen says
he's a breath of fresh air.
574
00:42:18,880 --> 00:42:23,589
- 'Ali G mania sweeps the UK.
- 'Charismatic MP Ali G...
575
00:42:30,934 --> 00:42:34,682
'As of 12 o'clock,
all Rizlas will be free.
576
00:42:34,729 --> 00:42:40,435
'To discourage their use, there
will be a levy of 25p on panties.
577
00:42:40,485 --> 00:42:43,154
'This will exclude thongs.
578
00:42:43,196 --> 00:42:45,521
'As for the health service,
579
00:42:45,573 --> 00:42:48,777
'marijuana will be made available
free on the NHS
580
00:42:48,827 --> 00:42:53,204
'for the treatment of chronic
diseases such as itchy scrot.
581
00:42:56,084 --> 00:43:00,497
'Furthermore, l am a bell end...'
582
00:43:05,427 --> 00:43:09,376
- l can't be expected...
- Get along, David.
583
00:43:10,557 --> 00:43:12,929
'l like to take it up da batty.
584
00:43:14,269 --> 00:43:19,227
'Yes, l do. lt feel really nice
and is me favourite.
585
00:43:21,401 --> 00:43:25,612
'l used to be a girl
and wear knicks. Honest.
586
00:43:27,741 --> 00:43:29,235
'Ask me mum.'
587
00:43:39,669 --> 00:43:44,664
War looms in Central Africa.
Britain to host a peace conference.
588
00:43:44,716 --> 00:43:48,714
A triumphant budget
from Britain's most controversial MP.
589
00:43:53,016 --> 00:43:56,634
j& Unh unh-unh-unh-unh,
unh, wait a minute now
590
00:43:56,686 --> 00:44:00,731
j& Uh-oh
591
00:44:00,774 --> 00:44:03,561
j& Unh, unh
j& Can y'all hear me?
592
00:44:03,610 --> 00:44:06,017
j& Unh, unh
j& ls y'all ready?
593
00:44:06,071 --> 00:44:11,657
j& Let me hear ya
j& Uh-oh... j&
594
00:44:12,744 --> 00:44:16,195
A fancy frock don't make up for
months of neglect.
595
00:44:16,247 --> 00:44:18,074
Me know.
596
00:44:18,124 --> 00:44:21,161
This is new to me
so don't leave me on my own.
597
00:44:21,211 --> 00:44:23,037
Don't worry, baby.
598
00:44:29,135 --> 00:44:32,635
lt's the Prime Minister,
let me get his autograph.
599
00:44:32,680 --> 00:44:35,006
- Boss, this is me Julie.
- Lovely.
600
00:44:35,058 --> 00:44:39,554
Should we meet our delegates?
President Wattana from Thailand.
601
00:44:39,604 --> 00:44:44,943
- lt is an honour to meet you.
- Thai, aight? Present.
602
00:44:46,111 --> 00:44:49,028
Let's move along. Do forgive me.
603
00:44:49,072 --> 00:44:51,314
This is the Mongolian delegate.
604
00:44:52,659 --> 00:44:54,782
ls you a genuine mong?
605
00:44:54,828 --> 00:44:59,288
That is fantastic that you lot
is also being represented here.
606
00:45:02,919 --> 00:45:05,671
l will...go and get you...
607
00:45:05,714 --> 00:45:08,287
some nice...crayons.
608
00:45:08,341 --> 00:45:12,386
Shall we carry on?
Thank you, do forgive me.
609
00:45:12,429 --> 00:45:14,505
They really can do anything.
610
00:45:14,556 --> 00:45:16,513
This is Borat from Kazakhstan.
611
00:45:16,558 --> 00:45:18,681
Jagshemash.
612
00:45:18,727 --> 00:45:22,096
- Bless you.
- lt is nice to meet you.
613
00:45:23,356 --> 00:45:25,100
Get off, you batty boy!
614
00:45:25,150 --> 00:45:28,353
Ali, all right. Please forgive me.
615
00:45:28,403 --> 00:45:30,810
You are a cocksucker.
616
00:45:38,121 --> 00:45:40,694
Bonjour.
617
00:45:40,749 --> 00:45:43,156
CanapГ©, sir?
618
00:46:19,245 --> 00:46:21,736
Me Julie.
619
00:46:23,875 --> 00:46:25,868
Julie.
620
00:46:29,297 --> 00:46:31,420
Hello?
621
00:46:36,846 --> 00:46:41,804
What you doing up here? Why not
stay downstairs with that posh girl?
622
00:46:41,851 --> 00:46:46,679
- We was talking about politics.
- l ain't interested, just shut up!
623
00:46:48,525 --> 00:46:51,858
Well, me won't speak no more.
624
00:46:56,741 --> 00:47:01,487
You really are a prat.
Now, come here.
625
00:47:03,415 --> 00:47:06,036
We can't. This is the PM's bedroom.
626
00:47:07,627 --> 00:47:09,287
Well...
627
00:47:11,423 --> 00:47:14,922
Why don't you pretend to be
the Prime Minister?
628
00:47:16,219 --> 00:47:18,212
Cheeky.
629
00:47:22,142 --> 00:47:27,100
Ladies and gentlemen, please.
ln advance of tomorrow's summit,
630
00:47:27,147 --> 00:47:30,563
l shall be having private talks
with both parties.
631
00:47:30,608 --> 00:47:35,235
First, President Mwepu,
would you care to join me upstairs?
632
00:47:35,280 --> 00:47:38,862
- A pleasure.
- Thank you.
633
00:48:12,525 --> 00:48:15,230
l must say, l enjoyed that.
634
00:48:15,278 --> 00:48:18,564
So did l. l'm so glad we thrashed it out.
635
00:48:18,615 --> 00:48:21,948
Ladies and gentlemen,
l want everyone here to know
636
00:48:21,993 --> 00:48:26,121
that President Mwepu here
is a very big man.
637
00:48:26,164 --> 00:48:31,407
And l would like you to know that
the Prime Minister was very hard
638
00:48:31,461 --> 00:48:34,034
but very straight.
639
00:48:34,089 --> 00:48:37,173
The President was very much on top
to start off with
640
00:48:37,217 --> 00:48:41,001
but l don't mind telling you,
l was in a deep hole.
641
00:48:41,054 --> 00:48:44,304
Oh, very deep.
642
00:48:44,349 --> 00:48:47,599
We had some sticky patches
but l'm delighted to say
643
00:48:47,644 --> 00:48:51,772
we came together in the end.
644
00:48:51,815 --> 00:48:55,978
Yes, l lapped up everything
that you had to offer.
645
00:48:56,027 --> 00:48:59,811
Now President Oompeba,
would you care to join me upstairs?
646
00:48:59,864 --> 00:49:02,699
No bloody way.
647
00:49:02,742 --> 00:49:04,201
Can l come?
648
00:49:14,045 --> 00:49:16,797
Come on, honey, let's go home.
649
00:49:16,840 --> 00:49:19,924
- l'll cook you up your favourite.
- Angel Delight?
650
00:49:19,968 --> 00:49:22,969
Yeah, butterscotch.
651
00:49:23,012 --> 00:49:26,796
Mmmm. Butterscotch.
652
00:49:26,850 --> 00:49:29,257
This bit is for the girls,
653
00:49:29,310 --> 00:49:33,142
to show that me can be
well sensitive.
654
00:49:33,189 --> 00:49:37,353
By the way, if any of you bitches
is fit and into doggy,
655
00:49:37,402 --> 00:49:40,319
here is me mobile number.
656
00:49:40,363 --> 00:49:43,898
Callers must be over 16.
657
00:49:43,950 --> 00:49:46,108
But not by too much.
658
00:49:49,247 --> 00:49:54,123
Me can't. They need me at
the peace conference tomorrow.
659
00:49:54,169 --> 00:49:58,747
You what? What about the people
who really need you?
660
00:49:58,798 --> 00:50:01,799
What about Ricky?
What about Dave?
661
00:50:01,843 --> 00:50:03,919
What about me, Ali?
662
00:50:06,556 --> 00:50:08,845
Please come back to Staines.
663
00:50:10,560 --> 00:50:16,894
The world is bigger than Staines.
And me gotta save it.
664
00:50:19,819 --> 00:50:22,654
You'll have to do it
on your own, then.
665
00:50:22,697 --> 00:50:25,153
Me Julie. Me Julie?
666
00:50:27,160 --> 00:50:29,283
Let me call you back.
667
00:50:30,538 --> 00:50:34,287
We've gotta get rid of him
before the centre's saved.
668
00:50:34,334 --> 00:50:36,907
- What l thought...
- You thought?!
669
00:50:37,420 --> 00:50:39,745
The US will do everything
in its power
670
00:50:39,798 --> 00:50:43,712
to support Chad in its struggle
against its neighbours.
671
00:50:43,760 --> 00:50:48,386
Russia will not allow this
Western oppression to continue
672
00:50:48,431 --> 00:50:51,717
and in order to support
Burkina Faso,
673
00:50:51,768 --> 00:50:57,224
is prepared to utilise
all our military capabilities.
674
00:50:57,273 --> 00:51:02,019
- That's outrageous!
- How can you make such a statement?
675
00:51:02,070 --> 00:51:05,320
Ali, Ali, Ali.
676
00:51:05,365 --> 00:51:09,445
- Armageddon's breaking out, help.
- Sure, bro.
677
00:51:09,494 --> 00:51:12,163
The United States
will not be intimidated.
678
00:51:12,205 --> 00:51:15,870
We will meet any show of force
with our full military might!
679
00:51:33,935 --> 00:51:35,429
Oi!
680
00:51:35,478 --> 00:51:39,974
You know why they is shouting?
They ain't been fed their teas.
681
00:51:40,024 --> 00:51:41,602
Come on, choppy chop.
682
00:51:53,037 --> 00:51:55,114
Moving to a motion,
683
00:51:55,165 --> 00:51:58,616
all those in favour of sending lran
to the gas station
684
00:51:58,668 --> 00:52:02,796
to get some potato chips
and chocolate, raise your hand.
685
00:52:02,839 --> 00:52:04,796
For real.
686
00:52:07,135 --> 00:52:08,759
Oh, bummer.
687
00:52:08,803 --> 00:52:12,006
j& Tease me, tease me, tease me,
tease me, baby... j&
688
00:52:12,057 --> 00:52:17,395
l'm sorry we invaded you.
lt was really uncool.
689
00:52:17,437 --> 00:52:20,770
Who cares? lt's all in the past.
690
00:52:20,815 --> 00:52:24,149
lf l was going to be invaded
by anyone,
691
00:52:24,194 --> 00:52:26,270
l am happy it was you.
692
00:52:26,321 --> 00:52:31,611
You are really cool.
You have nice clothes.
693
00:52:31,659 --> 00:52:36,820
- You saved my white ass, Ali.
- No problem, bredrin.
694
00:52:36,873 --> 00:52:40,159
Big up the herbal tea, aight?
695
00:52:40,210 --> 00:52:41,953
Hey, you, Britain!
696
00:52:45,173 --> 00:52:47,498
Respect.
697
00:52:47,550 --> 00:52:49,876
How does he do it?
698
00:52:49,928 --> 00:52:52,300
j& ..catchin' a big fish
699
00:52:52,347 --> 00:52:55,348
j& Yes, you are on top
of my romance list
700
00:52:55,392 --> 00:52:58,843
j& Second to none,
you defeat the favourite
701
00:52:58,895 --> 00:53:02,560
j& Woman, your love
is like burnin' fire in my soul
702
00:53:02,607 --> 00:53:05,893
j& Woman, tease me
till me lose control
703
00:53:05,944 --> 00:53:10,273
j& Woman, your love is like
burnin' fire in me soul
704
00:53:10,323 --> 00:53:13,443
j& Woman, tease me
till me lose control
705
00:53:13,493 --> 00:53:17,443
j& Tease me, tease me, tease me,
tease me, baby j&
706
00:53:18,748 --> 00:53:24,584
We're quite a team, Ali.
Thanks to you we're 22 points ahead.
707
00:53:24,629 --> 00:53:29,338
- l'm gonna save your centre.
- Wicked! Bo! Bo! Bo!
708
00:53:29,384 --> 00:53:34,971
- Check out all the Peperami!
- For you - this is your moment.
709
00:53:42,147 --> 00:53:47,058
Will you comment on accusations
that you drugged the world leaders?
710
00:53:48,862 --> 00:53:52,313
- You what?
- Our evidence proves you're guilty.
711
00:53:52,365 --> 00:53:54,322
Er...
712
00:53:54,367 --> 00:53:56,941
'Our evidence proves you're guilty.'
713
00:53:56,995 --> 00:54:00,364
- This is just childish.
- ''This is just childish!'
714
00:54:00,415 --> 00:54:04,911
By employing this rhetorical tactic
you incriminate yourself further.
715
00:54:04,961 --> 00:54:08,710
By...tactic...your father.
716
00:54:08,757 --> 00:54:12,007
This bag was sent to my office
anonymously.
717
00:54:12,052 --> 00:54:15,136
Do you deny that you stole it
from Customs & Excise?
718
00:54:15,180 --> 00:54:17,421
That could be anyone's.
719
00:54:20,060 --> 00:54:24,603
l is gotta go. l is turtling.
l is actually touching cloth.
720
00:54:24,647 --> 00:54:26,521
A few more questions!
721
00:54:26,566 --> 00:54:31,311
There goes your leisure centre.
Clear your desk before you go.
722
00:54:31,362 --> 00:54:33,854
Prime Minister.
723
00:55:11,611 --> 00:55:14,446
Big up yourself, Ali.
724
00:55:14,489 --> 00:55:19,910
- lt won't be the same without you.
- We'll miss you, Mr G. Respect.
725
00:55:21,871 --> 00:55:24,576
- Booyakasha.
- Westside.
726
00:55:34,342 --> 00:55:36,880
Flippin' heck.
727
00:55:36,928 --> 00:55:39,419
Nan, can l borrow your car?
728
00:55:39,931 --> 00:55:42,766
j& What would l be without my baby?
729
00:55:42,809 --> 00:55:44,848
j& The thought alone might break me
730
00:55:44,894 --> 00:55:47,350
j& And l don't wanna go crazy
731
00:55:47,397 --> 00:55:49,520
j& But every thug needs a lady
732
00:55:49,566 --> 00:55:52,353
j& Girl, it feel like you and l been
mourning together
733
00:55:52,402 --> 00:55:54,857
j& lnseparable, we chose pain
over pleasure
734
00:55:54,904 --> 00:55:57,146
j& For that you'll forever be
a part of me
735
00:55:57,198 --> 00:56:00,532
j& Mind body and soul
ain't no l in we, baby
736
00:56:00,577 --> 00:56:02,653
j& Where would l be without you?
737
00:56:02,704 --> 00:56:05,373
j& l only think about you
738
00:56:05,415 --> 00:56:08,332
j& l know you're tired of being lonely
739
00:56:08,376 --> 00:56:10,618
j& So baby girl, put it on me
740
00:56:10,670 --> 00:56:12,912
j& What would l be without you?
741
00:56:12,964 --> 00:56:15,537
j& l only think about you... j&
742
00:56:18,303 --> 00:56:26,429
j& Thanks for the times
that you've given me
743
00:56:27,771 --> 00:56:35,066
j& The memories are all in my mind
744
00:56:39,908 --> 00:56:41,947
j& You're once
745
00:56:43,036 --> 00:56:45,408
j& Twice
746
00:56:45,455 --> 00:56:50,033
j& Three times a lady
747
00:56:51,920 --> 00:56:54,327
j& And l lo... j&
748
00:56:58,426 --> 00:57:01,261
Having a bad day? Maybe l can help.
749
00:57:02,972 --> 00:57:06,555
- ls it nippy outside?
- Very.
750
00:57:08,436 --> 00:57:12,683
- What is you doing here?
- Let me show you.
751
00:57:12,732 --> 00:57:14,725
So today's main news again.
752
00:57:14,776 --> 00:57:20,115
The Prime Minister has resigned
after the discovery of security tape
753
00:57:20,156 --> 00:57:24,403
showing him having perverse sexual
intercourse with a prostitute.
754
00:57:27,622 --> 00:57:29,698
That's no prostitute, that's me ho!
755
00:57:29,749 --> 00:57:35,336
As of now the Deputy Prime Minister
will be acting Prime Minister.
756
00:57:35,380 --> 00:57:40,208
That ain't fair, that weren't the
PM. Where's the rest of the tape?
757
00:57:40,260 --> 00:57:43,711
My boss has locked it
in a safe at Chequers,
758
00:57:43,763 --> 00:57:47,464
- where it's staying.
- You won't get away with this.
759
00:57:47,517 --> 00:57:52,558
lf you keep your mouth shut,
David's willing to be very generous.
760
00:57:53,648 --> 00:57:58,144
l'm willing to be very generous.
761
00:57:59,946 --> 00:58:02,484
All that you have to do
762
00:58:02,532 --> 00:58:06,826
is keep your mouth...shut.
763
00:58:13,585 --> 00:58:16,669
l'm tuning up my engine, Ali.
764
00:58:16,713 --> 00:58:18,752
Fill me with petrol.
765
00:58:18,798 --> 00:58:22,499
l is gonna pump you
with me five-star unleaded, aight!
766
00:58:22,552 --> 00:58:25,838
- Let me see your nozzle.
- What?
767
00:58:25,889 --> 00:58:28,380
You wanna see me knob? All right.
768
00:58:33,188 --> 00:58:35,857
j& Let me lick you up and down
769
00:58:35,899 --> 00:58:38,224
j& Till you say stop
770
00:58:39,736 --> 00:58:43,021
j& Let me play with your body, baby
771
00:58:43,073 --> 00:58:45,149
j& Make you real hot
772
00:58:46,618 --> 00:58:53,201
j& Let me do all the things
you want me to do
773
00:58:54,876 --> 00:59:00,332
j& Cos tonight, baby,
l wanna get freaky with you
774
00:59:01,883 --> 00:59:04,456
j& Baby, don't you understand?
775
00:59:04,511 --> 00:59:08,259
j& l wanna be your nasty man... j&
776
00:59:08,306 --> 00:59:12,174
Give me your fuel injection.
777
00:59:13,561 --> 00:59:15,720
ln tomorrow's phone-in, we ask,
778
00:59:15,772 --> 00:59:20,101
have you ever slept with a pig?
l certainly have.
779
00:59:20,151 --> 00:59:24,279
And we'll find out what
turns girls like this into slags.
780
00:59:24,322 --> 00:59:26,896
No one calls me Julie a slag.
781
00:59:28,034 --> 00:59:30,786
Come to mama.
782
00:59:41,297 --> 00:59:43,753
Take them off.
783
01:00:02,068 --> 01:00:05,769
j& You drive me crazy
Somebody tell me where he's gone
784
01:00:05,822 --> 01:00:09,570
j& Where are you, baby?
We used to have so much fun
785
01:00:09,617 --> 01:00:12,737
j& You drive me crazy... j&
786
01:00:12,787 --> 01:00:17,912
Keep it real! Keep it real! Keep it real!
787
01:00:19,085 --> 01:00:21,410
This ain't right. Here...
788
01:00:21,463 --> 01:00:24,629
Set it to vibrate
and finish yourself off.
789
01:00:41,316 --> 01:00:44,186
Open up!
Yo, blood, l need your help.
790
01:00:44,235 --> 01:00:46,643
Everyone's calling me Julie a slag.
791
01:00:46,696 --> 01:00:48,855
They heard about our three-header?
792
01:00:48,907 --> 01:00:52,110
What three-header?
Anyways, l can prove she ain't.
793
01:00:52,160 --> 01:00:58,163
Bredrin, we gotta restart
Drive-By FM. What ya say?
794
01:01:01,795 --> 01:01:05,413
- Drive-By FM is back!
- Wicked!
795
01:01:05,465 --> 01:01:07,541
- Let's go.
- ls you any good at knots?
796
01:01:07,592 --> 01:01:11,257
Yo, hear me now,
hear me now, rewind.
797
01:01:11,304 --> 01:01:14,139
This is Drive-By FM,
the sound of the ghetto,
798
01:01:14,182 --> 01:01:16,673
from deep in the heart of Berkshire.
799
01:01:22,065 --> 01:01:26,193
Phut-phut-phut-phut,
phut-phut-phut-phut!
800
01:01:26,236 --> 01:01:29,023
- What was that?
- Helicopter.
801
01:01:29,072 --> 01:01:32,405
Oh, you was doing the wings.
That's good.
802
01:01:32,450 --> 01:01:36,946
Hear me now, gangstas. There is
some serious shit going down.
803
01:01:36,996 --> 01:01:39,369
The Prime Minister, check it,
804
01:01:39,416 --> 01:01:44,161
has been chucked out by a geezer
who is a massive dong.
805
01:01:44,212 --> 01:01:47,379
He is even more eviller
than Skeletor.
806
01:01:48,550 --> 01:01:52,797
To get the PM back in,
me needs to get hold of this tape
807
01:01:52,846 --> 01:01:55,467
of me knobbing me bitch.
808
01:01:55,515 --> 01:02:00,011
lf you help me rescue this video,
we can save the country.
809
01:02:01,104 --> 01:02:05,813
- Plus you will see Julie's babylons.
- Wicked!
810
01:02:05,859 --> 01:02:11,019
That is why l is calling all of you
to end the Berkshire turf wars.
811
01:02:12,115 --> 01:02:15,365
There has been enough
brothers slain.
812
01:02:15,410 --> 01:02:19,988
So put down your AKs,
lay down your Uzis,
813
01:02:20,039 --> 01:02:21,913
and unite
814
01:02:21,958 --> 01:02:24,829
into one massive...
815
01:02:24,878 --> 01:02:27,119
massive.
816
01:02:27,172 --> 01:02:29,959
- 'So big up the Eton Wick Crew.
- 'Hold tight.
817
01:02:30,008 --> 01:02:32,380
Hold tight the lver Heath Posse.
818
01:02:32,427 --> 01:02:36,294
Shout going out
to the Englefield Green Massiv.
819
01:02:36,347 --> 01:02:39,799
And me never thought
me would ever say this...
820
01:02:41,061 --> 01:02:48,308
but big up the East Staines Massiv.
821
01:02:48,359 --> 01:02:50,518
- Ali, what you doing, man?
- Shh.
822
01:02:53,656 --> 01:02:56,361
Hear this, Hassan B.
823
01:02:56,409 --> 01:03:01,534
lf you join us,
then l is prepared to hand over
824
01:03:03,291 --> 01:03:06,458
the Boris the Spider climbing frame
in Leagrove Park.
825
01:03:09,631 --> 01:03:13,711
Let's do what Tupac and Biggie
never managed. Aight?
826
01:03:19,474 --> 01:03:22,475
lf you is joining
this military operation,
827
01:03:22,519 --> 01:03:24,725
meet up in camouflage
828
01:03:24,771 --> 01:03:28,354
at John Nike Leisure Centre,
nine tomorrow morning.
829
01:03:28,400 --> 01:03:31,021
That's a bit early.
Can we make it 12?
830
01:03:39,285 --> 01:03:41,776
Sorry l is late.
831
01:03:41,830 --> 01:03:45,412
But there was something on the telly
about monkeys.
832
01:03:45,458 --> 01:03:48,958
They is well funny, what?
With their arms and...
833
01:03:52,006 --> 01:03:57,214
Respect for wearing camouflage.
lt will help you go undetected.
834
01:03:58,304 --> 01:04:02,136
Now, let's go to Chequers
and rescue that tape.
835
01:04:02,183 --> 01:04:05,802
Let's do this for Britain.
Let's do this for me Julie.
836
01:04:05,854 --> 01:04:09,353
And let's do this for hip-hop!
Selecta!
837
01:04:09,399 --> 01:04:10,561
Selecta!
838
01:04:10,608 --> 01:04:15,105
j& Fight the power!
839
01:04:15,155 --> 01:04:17,147
j& Fight the power!
840
01:04:17,198 --> 01:04:20,781
j& Fight the power!
j& Fight the power!
841
01:04:22,120 --> 01:04:23,495
j& Fight the power j&
842
01:04:23,997 --> 01:04:26,998
l has drawn up
a detailed plan of Chequers.
843
01:04:27,041 --> 01:04:30,327
The tape is in the PM's office,
in a safe.
844
01:04:30,378 --> 01:04:34,957
First up, Ricky, Dave and me
will go in.
845
01:04:35,008 --> 01:04:38,507
Jezzy, you stay here.
We's gonna be like the A-Team.
846
01:04:38,553 --> 01:04:42,171
- And l is BA Baracus.
- l wanna be BA Baracus.
847
01:04:42,223 --> 01:04:43,682
Urgh.
848
01:04:43,725 --> 01:04:46,892
But l is very much like him.
'l ain't gettin' in no plane.'
849
01:04:46,936 --> 01:04:49,095
Uh-uh -
'l ain't gettin' in no plane!'
850
01:04:49,147 --> 01:04:53,061
- ''l ain't gettin' in no plane!'
- ''Shut up, fool.'
851
01:04:53,109 --> 01:04:55,861
Look, gold.
'l ain't gettin' in no plane!'
852
01:04:55,904 --> 01:04:59,569
- ''Step back, kiss myself.'
- That's James Brown.
853
01:05:01,451 --> 01:05:04,368
You'll be Murdock.
Dave, you'll be Face.
854
01:05:04,412 --> 01:05:07,746
- What do we do?
- Stay here and we all hide
855
01:05:07,791 --> 01:05:10,412
and blend into the natural habitat.
856
01:05:10,460 --> 01:05:14,410
Then, when it gets dark,
me will make the secret signal.
857
01:05:20,762 --> 01:05:23,798
Fresh, fresh, fresh, fresh, rewind.
858
01:05:24,891 --> 01:05:26,634
Let's go!
859
01:05:26,684 --> 01:05:31,477
Then tune all your radios
to the baddest street garage station
860
01:05:31,523 --> 01:05:34,227
and crank up the volume to the max.
861
01:05:34,275 --> 01:05:36,648
This will bring out the guards
862
01:05:36,694 --> 01:05:41,606
and at that point we will use
our cunning to overpower them.
863
01:05:42,659 --> 01:05:45,446
Bundle!
864
01:06:02,053 --> 01:06:03,927
- Sir?
- What's going on?
865
01:06:03,972 --> 01:06:07,138
l'm sure it's nothing
but l've sent some men out.
866
01:06:07,183 --> 01:06:10,884
l want maximum security.
Patrol the house.
867
01:06:15,233 --> 01:06:19,147
The Great Hall is exactly
like the one in Lara Croft's house
868
01:06:19,195 --> 01:06:21,651
in Tomb Raider 2 on PlayStation.
869
01:06:21,698 --> 01:06:26,490
So Dave, if you run at the pillar,
that goes to the underwater kingdom
870
01:06:26,536 --> 01:06:29,870
and on to the next level.
871
01:06:29,914 --> 01:06:32,203
Urgh.
872
01:06:32,250 --> 01:06:37,078
lf that don't work, we must somehow
cross the touch-sensitive floor.
873
01:06:37,130 --> 01:06:40,214
lf we lift our feet at all,
we're dead.
874
01:06:44,387 --> 01:06:48,599
j& Electric boogie, break dance,
electric boogie, break dance... j&
875
01:06:54,022 --> 01:06:57,557
Nothing. We'll keep on looking.
876
01:06:57,609 --> 01:07:00,894
Next up, we is gotta go through
the laser room.
877
01:07:00,945 --> 01:07:04,895
Dave, you'll use your
special skills to help us through.
878
01:07:22,092 --> 01:07:25,959
Remember, if we break any beams
it will set the alarms off,
879
01:07:26,012 --> 01:07:28,966
so extra careful. Now, let's do it.
880
01:07:31,518 --> 01:07:33,641
j& This is the funk, now hit me
881
01:07:34,979 --> 01:07:36,853
j& Just get on down and hit me
882
01:07:37,899 --> 01:07:41,185
j& Their bodies getting so funky,
now hit me
883
01:07:55,250 --> 01:07:58,868
j& You gotta rock it don't stop it,
you gotta rock it don't stop it
884
01:07:58,920 --> 01:08:02,621
j& You gotta rock it don't stop it,
you gotta rock it don't stop j&
885
01:08:02,674 --> 01:08:07,051
This must be the PM's office.
The tape is in there.
886
01:08:10,432 --> 01:08:14,809
lntruders in my office. This is
a terrorist attack, shoot on sight.
887
01:08:14,853 --> 01:08:17,260
Repeat, shoot on sight.
888
01:08:19,107 --> 01:08:20,898
- Ah, safe.
- Yeah, safe, man.
889
01:08:20,942 --> 01:08:24,441
- No, the safe.
- Yeah, l is safe. Open that.
890
01:08:24,487 --> 01:08:27,358
- Ali, this safe.
- Yeah, l is feeling fine.
891
01:08:27,407 --> 01:08:30,194
- The safe, the safe.
- Yeah, man, l is safe!
892
01:08:30,243 --> 01:08:32,864
Behind you!
893
01:08:38,084 --> 01:08:41,702
Hold on.
l thought you couldn't speak.
894
01:08:41,755 --> 01:08:46,084
l've just always been terribly
embarrassed about my voice.
895
01:08:46,134 --> 01:08:50,084
All right, don't go on about it.
Stop giving it all that.
896
01:08:50,138 --> 01:08:54,551
Now, if me can just interrupt
your life story for one second...
897
01:08:55,935 --> 01:08:59,435
let's tie these geezers up
and get that safe open.
898
01:09:02,734 --> 01:09:04,691
No.
899
01:09:04,736 --> 01:09:08,319
l got it. Link up the batteries
of all the cars outside,
900
01:09:08,364 --> 01:09:11,152
transfer the current
through a human chain
901
01:09:11,201 --> 01:09:13,608
and blow this mother open!
902
01:09:13,661 --> 01:09:17,873
- Won't we get electricalocuted?
- We won't get fried
903
01:09:17,916 --> 01:09:22,328
cos we've got rubber-soled trainers.
Trust me, l got a D in physics.
904
01:09:22,379 --> 01:09:24,704
Wicked. l'll text them.
905
01:09:35,100 --> 01:09:41,268
No, b-eight-two-rez - be-attories,
batteries.
906
01:09:41,314 --> 01:09:46,309
2-geh-4 - together...
907
01:09:46,361 --> 01:09:49,030
Me was trying to save time.
908
01:09:50,198 --> 01:09:51,396
Bambaclat.
909
01:10:07,132 --> 01:10:11,425
- Switch on the engine, pass it on.
- Switch on the engine, pass it on.
910
01:10:11,469 --> 01:10:14,719
Your voice!
Switch on the engine, pass it on.
911
01:10:14,764 --> 01:10:19,722
- Switch on the engine, pass it on.
- Switch on the engine, pass it on...
912
01:10:23,189 --> 01:10:26,558
- Bitch on a pension, suck my dong.
- What?
913
01:10:26,609 --> 01:10:28,851
- Should l turn the engine on?
- Yeah.
914
01:10:34,617 --> 01:10:36,527
j& This is the funk, now hit me
915
01:10:38,246 --> 01:10:40,239
j& Just get on down and hit me... j&
916
01:10:50,258 --> 01:10:53,627
- What is you doing?
- l'm being pulled!
917
01:10:56,347 --> 01:10:58,257
No!
918
01:11:00,018 --> 01:11:02,770
j& He's our saviour j&
919
01:11:07,233 --> 01:11:10,602
Ha-ha! Bo! Bo!
920
01:11:10,653 --> 01:11:12,527
We open up the safe!
921
01:11:15,283 --> 01:11:18,154
- Peace, man.
- Peace, bredrin.
922
01:11:25,627 --> 01:11:27,584
Ali! Ali!
923
01:11:27,629 --> 01:11:31,461
- The tape ain't here.
- What you talkin' 'bout, Willis?
924
01:11:31,508 --> 01:11:34,081
Look for yourself.
925
01:11:34,135 --> 01:11:37,136
All it is is some photographs...
926
01:11:39,349 --> 01:11:40,808
Eugh.
927
01:11:40,850 --> 01:11:43,555
And there's a map of Staines.
928
01:11:47,607 --> 01:11:52,269
Jah Ras Tafari, Haile Selassie.
They is extending Heathrow Airport.
929
01:11:52,320 --> 01:11:56,567
That means...
they is gonna destroy Staines.
930
01:11:56,616 --> 01:12:00,115
And they is starting in...
three hours.
931
01:12:00,161 --> 01:12:02,831
Two hours, 57 minutes, to be precise.
932
01:12:07,043 --> 01:12:09,285
Why build it over Staines?
933
01:12:09,337 --> 01:12:13,666
Because l have bought 600 acres
of land there. Give me those.
934
01:12:18,304 --> 01:12:22,931
Don't try escaping because this room
doubles as a nuclear bunker.
935
01:12:22,976 --> 01:12:27,020
lt is completely impenetrable
to the outside world.
936
01:12:27,063 --> 01:12:30,230
And l've forgotten to put on
the air supply.
937
01:12:30,275 --> 01:12:32,944
Why don't you nip out now
and stick it on?
938
01:12:34,487 --> 01:12:37,524
You really are unbelievably stupid.
939
01:12:47,000 --> 01:12:49,076
Oi! Knob-end!
940
01:12:50,879 --> 01:12:53,251
- What?
- Give me them plans.
941
01:13:01,431 --> 01:13:05,298
- Or what?
- Or nipple cripple, that's what.
942
01:13:12,067 --> 01:13:14,736
Chinese burn!
943
01:13:24,913 --> 01:13:28,364
You hurt my nose,
you fucking nutcase.
944
01:13:35,799 --> 01:13:41,255
Look behind you because there's
a thousand police officers.
945
01:13:46,684 --> 01:13:49,354
Look behind you,
there's Jennifer Lopez.
946
01:13:49,396 --> 01:13:53,974
What? You want to bone him right
this second cos you is so horny?
947
01:13:58,196 --> 01:14:01,399
Look, there's 20 squid on the floor.
948
01:14:02,409 --> 01:14:05,445
There's a squirrel
with the head of a chicken
949
01:14:05,495 --> 01:14:09,409
and with, like,
wings and everything that's just...
950
01:14:11,084 --> 01:14:13,456
- ls you gonna hit me again?
- Mmm.
951
01:14:19,259 --> 01:14:22,509
Now l'm going to shoot you.
952
01:14:37,026 --> 01:14:40,312
Booyakasha!
953
01:14:52,417 --> 01:14:55,833
This is from the people of Staines.
954
01:15:02,510 --> 01:15:05,677
Ooh. l think l followed through.
955
01:15:06,765 --> 01:15:10,714
Me Julie, you there?
Me know what you must think of me.
956
01:15:10,769 --> 01:15:15,644
l been a piece of knob cheese but
me got to save Staines with your help
957
01:15:15,690 --> 01:15:17,849
and l has shat meself.
958
01:15:19,819 --> 01:15:22,524
Shit. Ricky and Dave!
959
01:15:34,209 --> 01:15:35,667
Ricky?
960
01:15:39,297 --> 01:15:43,164
We thought if we was gonna die
we might as well give it a go.
961
01:15:43,218 --> 01:15:46,135
- Well, what's it like?
- lt's not bad.
962
01:15:46,179 --> 01:15:49,346
- Dave?
- Quite nice, actually.
963
01:15:49,391 --> 01:15:52,724
We'll talk about this later.
We gotta save Staines.
964
01:15:52,769 --> 01:15:55,058
Two minutes, see you in the car?
965
01:15:55,105 --> 01:15:59,019
Be quick. The Feds is coming and
you don't want to finish up inside.
966
01:16:01,152 --> 01:16:05,482
Save our centre! Save our centre!
967
01:16:05,532 --> 01:16:07,156
Hold on tight.
968
01:16:07,200 --> 01:16:10,320
Leave 'em alone,
you pigs, they're senile!
969
01:16:14,958 --> 01:16:17,828
Send in, send in!
970
01:16:30,640 --> 01:16:33,676
l wouldn't do that if l was you.
971
01:16:33,727 --> 01:16:38,187
Ali! l love you!
972
01:16:38,231 --> 01:16:41,398
Juliiieeee!
973
01:16:43,611 --> 01:16:46,102
- Hello.
- Start the demolition.
974
01:16:46,156 --> 01:16:49,073
Wait! Don't listen to him!
He's a criminal.
975
01:16:49,117 --> 01:16:52,700
And not even the good kind
that sell drugs or do drive-bys.
976
01:16:52,746 --> 01:16:56,530
l is got proof here that he is
trying to destroy Staines.
977
01:16:56,583 --> 01:16:58,659
So what? lt's a shithole.
978
01:16:59,753 --> 01:17:03,750
- Arrest them.
- Oh, shit. We is going to jail.
979
01:17:03,798 --> 01:17:07,962
Every day for the next 20 years
we'll get bummed in the showers.
980
01:17:10,096 --> 01:17:14,046
- Hold it. Release him.
- Under what authority?
981
01:17:14,100 --> 01:17:18,809
l'm the acting Prime Minister.
You are the disgraced one.
982
01:17:18,855 --> 01:17:23,316
Disgraced by you.
And this tape proves it.
983
01:17:23,359 --> 01:17:26,775
- Kate.
- No, David.
984
01:17:26,821 --> 01:17:31,614
When l first entered politics,
it was to create a better world,
985
01:17:31,659 --> 01:17:36,037
a world of honesty,
integrity and truth.
986
01:17:36,081 --> 01:17:39,496
But somewhere along the way
that vision was lost.
987
01:17:39,542 --> 01:17:43,920
My dream was tarnished
and instead l discovered greed,
988
01:17:43,963 --> 01:17:46,585
- avarice and corruption...
- Boring!
989
01:17:47,926 --> 01:17:50,251
Arrest him.
990
01:17:50,303 --> 01:17:54,680
Enjoy your life with this fool.
You two deserve each other.
991
01:17:54,724 --> 01:17:56,764
Piss off.
992
01:17:56,810 --> 01:17:58,268
Oh, nice!
993
01:17:58,311 --> 01:18:02,356
We're not going to build Terminal 5
over Staines.
994
01:18:02,399 --> 01:18:05,068
- We'll demolish Slough instead.
- Wicked.
995
01:18:05,110 --> 01:18:08,276
As of now l need
a new Deputy Prime Minister.
996
01:18:08,321 --> 01:18:11,322
How do you feel about being
my right-hand man?
997
01:18:11,366 --> 01:18:14,699
Right-hand man!
Batty boy, batty boy!
998
01:18:15,787 --> 01:18:18,112
What do you say, Ali?
999
01:18:19,332 --> 01:18:21,788
l has shown you the way.
1000
01:18:21,835 --> 01:18:25,500
You'll have to carry on the journey
by yourself now.
1001
01:18:25,547 --> 01:18:29,247
As for me,
l is gonna stick with me posse
1002
01:18:29,300 --> 01:18:31,423
and me bi...
1003
01:18:31,469 --> 01:18:33,545
me lady.
1004
01:18:45,191 --> 01:18:49,355
Ahem. Actually, there is
one thing you could do for me.
1005
01:18:54,492 --> 01:18:57,030
Mr Ambassador.
1006
01:18:57,078 --> 01:19:00,364
j& l'm Mr Reggae Ambassador... j&
1007
01:19:00,415 --> 01:19:03,665
- Your crop is ready for inspection.
- Bo.
1008
01:19:03,710 --> 01:19:06,165
j& l'm Mr Reggae Ambassador
1009
01:19:08,214 --> 01:19:11,085
j& Baby, reggae music
in-a any condition
1010
01:19:11,134 --> 01:19:13,707
j& Drop it in a style,
drop it in a fashion... j&
1011
01:19:14,846 --> 01:19:17,384
Good morning, Ambassador.
1012
01:19:17,432 --> 01:19:19,970
Ambassador,
will you try the harvest?
1013
01:19:20,018 --> 01:19:21,845
j& Whoa-whoa-whoa, yeah
1014
01:19:21,895 --> 01:19:24,350
j& l'm Mr Reggae Ambassador
1015
01:19:25,732 --> 01:19:28,057
j& Whoa-whoa-whoa, yeah
1016
01:19:28,109 --> 01:19:30,398
j& l'm Mr Reggae Ambassador
1017
01:19:31,946 --> 01:19:34,188
j& Whoa-whoa-whoa, yeah
1018
01:19:34,240 --> 01:19:36,316
j& l'm Mr Reggae Ambassador j&
1019
01:19:37,327 --> 01:19:40,577
This is good shit.
1020
01:19:40,622 --> 01:19:43,409
The man from Staines, he say yeah!
1021
01:19:47,879 --> 01:19:50,370
j& This is how we do it... j&
1022
01:19:55,929 --> 01:19:57,921
lce, please.
1023
01:20:00,183 --> 01:20:03,219
Ali, this is a great Jacuzzi.
1024
01:20:03,269 --> 01:20:05,891
That ain't a Jacuzzi.
1025
01:20:07,982 --> 01:20:10,022
Sorry.
1026
01:20:10,068 --> 01:20:13,152
j& The party's here on the westside
1027
01:20:13,196 --> 01:20:15,485
j& So l reach for my 40
and l turn it up
1028
01:20:15,532 --> 01:20:18,236
j& Designated driver,
take the keys to my truck
1029
01:20:18,284 --> 01:20:20,360
j& Hit the shore cos l'm faded
1030
01:20:20,412 --> 01:20:22,653
j& Honeys in the street say,
'Monty, yo, we made it!''... j&
1031
01:20:27,961 --> 01:20:29,752
j& The summertime skirts
and the guys in Kani
1032
01:20:29,796 --> 01:20:32,204
j& All the gang-bangers
forgot about the drive-by
1033
01:20:32,257 --> 01:20:35,957
j& You gotta get your groove on
before you go get paid... j&
1034
01:20:36,010 --> 01:20:38,087
Bring her in.
1035
01:20:38,930 --> 01:20:42,014
j& Let me hear the party say... j&
1036
01:20:42,058 --> 01:20:44,514
Dance for me, bitch.
1037
01:20:44,561 --> 01:20:47,894
j& South Central does it
like nobody does
1038
01:20:47,939 --> 01:20:49,896
j& This is how we do it
1039
01:20:49,941 --> 01:20:52,646
j& To all my neighbours,
you got much flava
1040
01:20:52,694 --> 01:20:54,521
j& This is how we do it
1041
01:20:54,571 --> 01:20:57,144
j& Let's flip the track,
bring the old school back
1042
01:20:57,198 --> 01:20:59,357
j& This is how we do it... j&
1043
01:21:00,368 --> 01:21:03,405
Me Julie,
me got something to ask you.
1044
01:21:07,167 --> 01:21:12,505
Will you make me
the happiest man in the world?
1045
01:21:15,800 --> 01:21:17,876
Yeah, l will.
1046
01:21:17,927 --> 01:21:20,003
Let me shag her, then.
1047
01:21:20,055 --> 01:21:22,131
j& This is how we do it in a UK vibe
1048
01:21:22,182 --> 01:21:24,221
j& This is how we do it
1049
01:21:24,267 --> 01:21:27,102
j& Su-Elise, Alesha
and Sabrina tonight
1050
01:21:27,145 --> 01:21:29,268
j& This is how we do it
1051
01:21:29,314 --> 01:21:33,442
j& This is how we do it,
it's Friday night
1052
01:21:33,485 --> 01:21:36,058
j& And l feel all right
1053
01:21:36,112 --> 01:21:38,899
j& The party's here
on the westside... j&
1054
01:21:38,948 --> 01:21:43,112
So, what did you think of the film?
lt weren't bad, was it?
1055
01:21:43,161 --> 01:21:45,948
lt was easily better than
Harry Potter,
1056
01:21:45,997 --> 01:21:48,535
which me thought was very childish.
1057
01:21:48,583 --> 01:21:52,450
lf you is watching this, Potter,
l is better than you.
1058
01:21:52,504 --> 01:21:55,208
You probably ain't even
slept with a girl.
1059
01:21:55,256 --> 01:21:57,498
l has slept with three.
1060
01:21:57,550 --> 01:22:00,468
And l got one of them
to play with herself.
1061
01:22:00,512 --> 01:22:05,719
Whatever you thought of this film,
please tell your mates it was wicked
1062
01:22:05,767 --> 01:22:10,310
cos if this flops, me won't be able
to get me nan a new hip.
1063
01:22:10,355 --> 01:22:14,103
So the choice is yours. No pressure.
1064
01:22:14,150 --> 01:22:16,392
Nan, come tell them about it.
1065
01:22:16,444 --> 01:22:19,694
What? You is fallen over again?
1066
01:22:19,739 --> 01:22:22,491
You done the other one in as well?
1067
01:22:22,534 --> 01:22:26,745
Don't cry there, all mashed up,
a lump of bones.
1068
01:22:26,788 --> 01:22:31,165
Me will get you the cash
to make it better, somehow.
1069
01:22:35,046 --> 01:22:37,335
Don't be selfish.
1070
01:22:37,382 --> 01:22:39,624
Buy the merchandise and all.
1071
01:22:41,886 --> 01:22:44,591
j& Ali G. Shut it!
1072
01:22:45,640 --> 01:22:48,096
j& Let's start right now, ya hear me?
1073
01:22:49,769 --> 01:22:52,094
j& A to the L to the l to the G-sy
1074
01:22:52,147 --> 01:22:54,851
j& J to the U to the L-l easy
1075
01:22:54,899 --> 01:22:58,103
j& S to the H to the A double-G-sy Y
1076
01:22:58,153 --> 01:23:00,145
j& Oh, boys getting busy
1077
01:23:00,196 --> 01:23:02,604
j& l need a cure
for this thing l'm feelin
1078
01:23:02,657 --> 01:23:05,148
j& Shaggy need some sexual healin
1079
01:23:05,201 --> 01:23:07,609
j& l wanna reach and touch the ceilin
1080
01:23:07,662 --> 01:23:10,236
j& When l'm lovin' my Julie
j& Aight!
1081
01:23:10,290 --> 01:23:12,697
j& Me, l've been kickin
at the late night dealin
1082
01:23:12,751 --> 01:23:15,372
j& Worse now,
it's just a piece l'm stealin
1083
01:23:15,420 --> 01:23:18,125
j& l see your sex
and Mr Lover believin
1084
01:23:18,173 --> 01:23:20,461
j& When l'm lockin' my Julie
j& Aight
1085
01:23:20,508 --> 01:23:24,257
j& Julie, you know me love-a you truly
1086
01:23:24,304 --> 01:23:27,589
j& From my head down to me goolies
1087
01:23:27,640 --> 01:23:30,392
j& Woman, you turn me on
with your big babylons
1088
01:23:30,435 --> 01:23:34,646
j& Me Julie, you got
the sweetest coolies
1089
01:23:34,689 --> 01:23:36,231
j& When me touch it with me goolies
1090
01:23:36,274 --> 01:23:38,432
j& Hey, Shaggy, me can rap too.
1091
01:23:38,485 --> 01:23:40,276
j& Yo, yo, yo
1092
01:23:40,320 --> 01:23:43,155
j& You is better than J-Lo,
next to you she's just a minger
1093
01:23:43,198 --> 01:23:45,819
j& Fit as Destiny's Child,
well, apart from the lead singer
1094
01:23:45,867 --> 01:23:48,784
j& You is fitter than the Spice Girls
including the Ginger
1095
01:23:48,828 --> 01:23:51,284
j& Give it a shave,
cos me wanna be in ya
1096
01:23:51,331 --> 01:23:53,786
j& They always claimed
that our love was wrong, uh
1097
01:23:53,833 --> 01:23:56,324
j& The people just stared
and said it was too long, but
1098
01:23:56,378 --> 01:23:58,785
j& lt ain't crap to have a 12-inch
1099
01:23:58,838 --> 01:24:01,294
j& Dong, d-dong, dong, dong
1100
01:24:01,341 --> 01:24:05,173
j& Julie, you know me love-a you truly
1101
01:24:05,220 --> 01:24:07,971
j& From my head down to me goolies
1102
01:24:08,014 --> 01:24:11,300
j& Woman, you turn me on
with your big babylons
1103
01:24:11,351 --> 01:24:15,562
j& Me Julie, you got
the sweetest coolies
1104
01:24:15,605 --> 01:24:18,096
j& When me touch it with me goolies
1105
01:24:18,149 --> 01:24:21,435
j& Cos you turn me on
with your big babylons j&
1106
01:24:23,154 --> 01:24:25,443
j& This is how we do it in a UK vibe
1107
01:24:25,490 --> 01:24:27,364
j& This is how we do it
1108
01:24:27,409 --> 01:24:30,030
j& lt's the Mis-teeq
1109
01:24:30,078 --> 01:24:32,367
j& This is how we do it
1110
01:24:32,414 --> 01:24:36,363
j& This is how we do it,
it's Friday night
1111
01:24:36,418 --> 01:24:39,087
j& And l feel all right
1112
01:24:39,129 --> 01:24:41,287
j& The party's here on the westside
1113
01:24:41,339 --> 01:24:43,913
j& So l reach for my 40
and l turn it up
1114
01:24:43,967 --> 01:24:46,718
j& Designated driver,
turn the key to my truck
1115
01:24:46,761 --> 01:24:48,837
j& Hit the shore cos l'm faded
1116
01:24:48,888 --> 01:24:51,214
j& Guys in the street say
'Girls, yo, you made it.'
1117
01:24:51,266 --> 01:24:55,346
j& lt feels so good in my hood tonight
1118
01:24:55,395 --> 01:24:57,933
j& The summertime skirts
and the guys in Kani
1119
01:24:57,981 --> 01:25:00,851
j& All the gang-bangers
forgot about the drive-by
1120
01:25:00,900 --> 01:25:04,649
j& You gotta get your groove on
before you go and get paid
1121
01:25:04,696 --> 01:25:07,151
j& So tip up your cup
and throw your hands up
1122
01:25:07,198 --> 01:25:09,524
j& And let me hear the party say
1123
01:25:09,576 --> 01:25:12,114
j& l'm kinda buzzed
and it's all because
1124
01:25:12,162 --> 01:25:13,870
j& This is how we do it
1125
01:25:13,913 --> 01:25:16,831
j& South Central does it
like nobody does
1126
01:25:16,875 --> 01:25:18,701
j& This is how we do it
1127
01:25:18,752 --> 01:25:21,539
j& To all my neighbours,
you got much flava
1128
01:25:21,588 --> 01:25:23,296
j& This is how we do it
1129
01:25:23,339 --> 01:25:26,009
j& So flip the track,
bring the old school back
1130
01:25:26,051 --> 01:25:28,588
j& This is how we do it
1131
01:25:28,636 --> 01:25:30,759
j& Oh, l'm dancin' because
1132
01:25:30,805 --> 01:25:32,679
j& This is how we do it
1133
01:25:32,724 --> 01:25:35,429
j& South Central does it
like nobody does
1134
01:25:35,477 --> 01:25:37,386
j& This is how we do it
1135
01:25:37,437 --> 01:25:39,975
j& L-O-N-D-O-N
1136
01:25:40,023 --> 01:25:42,062
j& This is how we do it
1137
01:25:42,108 --> 01:25:44,778
j& l'll never come back
on an old school track
1138
01:25:44,819 --> 01:25:46,895
j& This is how we do it
j& Check it out
1139
01:25:46,946 --> 01:25:49,069
j& Once upon a time in '94
1140
01:25:49,115 --> 01:25:51,523
j& Mis-teeq made no money
and life sure was slow
1141
01:25:51,576 --> 01:25:53,782
j& And all they said
was five-eight we stood
1142
01:25:53,828 --> 01:25:56,200
j& And people thought
the music that we made was good
1143
01:25:56,247 --> 01:25:58,573
j& There lived a DJ, PDS was his name
1144
01:25:58,625 --> 01:26:00,867
j& He came up to me
and this is what he said
1145
01:26:00,919 --> 01:26:03,207
j& You and them girls are gonna make
some cash
1146
01:26:03,254 --> 01:26:05,792
j& Sell a million records
and we'll make it in a dash
1147
01:26:05,840 --> 01:26:08,082
j& Whoa, l'm buzzin' because
1148
01:26:08,134 --> 01:26:09,878
j& This is how we do it
1149
01:26:09,928 --> 01:26:12,715
j& South Central does it
like nobody does
1150
01:26:12,764 --> 01:26:14,721
j& This is how we do it
1151
01:26:14,766 --> 01:26:17,387
j& L-O-N-D-O-N
1152
01:26:17,435 --> 01:26:19,475
j& This is how we do it
1153
01:26:19,521 --> 01:26:22,094
j& l'll never come back
on an old school track
1154
01:26:22,148 --> 01:26:24,022
j& This is how we do it
1155
01:26:24,067 --> 01:26:26,392
j& l'm kinda buzzin
and it's all because
1156
01:26:26,444 --> 01:26:28,401
j& This is how we do it
1157
01:26:28,446 --> 01:26:31,447
j& South Central does it
like nobody does
1158
01:26:31,491 --> 01:26:33,400
j& This is how we do it
1159
01:26:33,451 --> 01:26:35,989
j& To all my neighbours,
you got much flava
1160
01:26:36,037 --> 01:26:37,745
j& This is how we do it
1161
01:26:37,789 --> 01:26:40,706
j& So flip the track,
bring the old school back
1162
01:26:40,750 --> 01:26:42,624
j& This is how we do it
1163
01:26:42,669 --> 01:26:47,130
j& This is how we do it
j& This is how we do it
1164
01:26:47,173 --> 01:26:51,835
j& Mis-teeq does it like nobody does
j& This is how we do it
1165
01:26:51,886 --> 01:26:54,591
j& To all my neighbours,
you got much flava
1166
01:26:54,639 --> 01:26:56,548
j& This is how we do it
1167
01:26:56,599 --> 01:26:59,351
j& We'll never come back
on an old school track
1168
01:26:59,394 --> 01:27:02,763
j& This is how we do it j&
|