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<i>~ You took the part ~</i>
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<i>~ That once was my heart ~</i>
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<i>~ So why not Take all of me? ~</i>
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One-two-three-four.
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Take it, Roger.
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Ok, Dog.
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Oh, God!
8
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Happy birthday, my darling. Oh!
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- So how does it feel to be 38?
- Oh, great.
10
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Just think, in 2 years I'll be 40,
in 12 years I'll be 50.
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I'm really excited about this...
It's fun.
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- Oh, sweetie!
- Hey, what am I doin' with my life?
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What am I doin' with my career?
What am I doin' with us?
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- You're boring us.
- Yeah!
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Do you love it?
It's an African grave post.
16
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Is that gorgeous?
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You bought me a 'grave post'
for my 38. birthday?
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Look, I'm sorry. I like it... really.
Look, uh, I've been thinkin'.
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Remember that thing you used
to wanna talk about and I never did?
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You know, uh, the 'M' word?
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Well... I think maybe it's time
that we did the 'M' word.
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Roger, I don't think your're ready
to do the 'M' word.
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Yeah, I am, honest.
Peggy, I wanna get 'M'd'.
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Roger, if you can't say the 'M' word
then you're not ready
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- to do the 'M' word.
- I can say the 'M' word. Geez!
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Ma... marriage, marriage, of course,
I can say it. What do you think?
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We shouldn't get into this right now.
You're gonna be late for work
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and you know how daddy hates that.
I just came by to wish you
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- a happy, happy 38.
- That's a contradiction in terms.
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That was very bodacious.
Hey, Roger Dodger, what it is?
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Hey, Bix!
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- You makin' any money today?
- A1most as much as I made last night.
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- That bad, huh?
- Yeah. Look, Roger, I've been thinkin'
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o' joinin' Jimmy Bowers' Big Band.
I want you to come and go with me.
35
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- Oh, I appreciate it, Ty, but...
- No, don't give me that, but jive.
36
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- Hey, look at this face.
- I'm quitting the group, Ty.
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- You're doin' what?
- I gotta give up something.
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I still have time to make something of
myself as a lawyer, not as a musician.
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Oh, this is an unhappy face.
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- It's not that unhappy.
- Hey, this is the face of a man
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- who has given up the wrong thing!
- Don't pick my nose, ok?
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And if you don't correct your thinking
I shall be force to tell the world
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- that you are a Honky Mook!
- Tyrone, you really should not call
44
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- another person a Honky Mook.
- And why not?
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- Well, for one reason, you're white.
- I am?
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Yeah!
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- Oh, my God, I am.
- I'm late, Ty, I gotta go.
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- I'm doing the right thing, really.
- Be cool! Good jammin' with you, Bix.
49
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Well?
50
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- Well, you're dying all right.
- Ever since I was a child doctors have
51
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- been telling me I'm dying.
- I guess you've had enough practice,
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- because you're really doing it now.
- How much time?
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- A week, a day...
- A month?
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M'mhm.
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Good. The phone.
56
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- Got a cigarette? It can't hurt now.
- You don't smoke.
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Thank you.
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After 32 years of marriage you're
still a naughty little devil!
59
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- Pick up. Maybe it's your wife.
- Oh, ever since she filed for divorce
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she hardly ever calls any more.
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I'm sorry, Mr. Schuyler,
but Edwina Cutwater is on 1.
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- Oh, God. All right.
- It's ok.
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I just wanted to tell you
your wife subpoenaed me.
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Oh, Gretch, I am so sorry about that.
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- I do have to take this call.
- Oh!
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- Good morning, Margo.
- Good morning, Roger. Morning, Bix.
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Any good ones for me today? Unfairly
victed tenants, farm workers, Indians?
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00:08:15,150 --> 00:08:19,240
Well, Mr. Van Rensselaer called.
He wants you to fire his chauffeur.
69
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Mr. Spencer sen. wants you to draw up
a pre-marital agreement
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00:08:25,900 --> 00:08:29,870
for Mr. Spencer jun. And finally,
Mr. Spencer jun. called, he wants you
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to tell Mr. Spencer sen. to mind
his own friggin' business.
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- May justice prevail.
- Why do I do it?
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- I think it's called paying dues.
- I've been paying dues for 11 years.
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- I should own the entire club by now.
- Right on, Roger.
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No more. I want worthwhile cases.
I want to defend right against wrong!
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- And I want a partnership!
- You're telling the wrong people!
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I know. I was practicing. Pretty good!
Wadding the messages's very effective.
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- I'll do this for Schuyler right now.
- Seymour, she was the 4th woman today
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- to tell me she'd been subponenaed!
- Mr. Schuyler, I have to talk to you.
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I don't want her on the stand!
Listen, if you haven't got the guts
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to handle this the right way,
I'm going to find someone who does!
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- Mr. Schuyler...
- I was just gonna call you.
83
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Got Miss Cutwater's files. Go to her.
Edwina claims that she's finally dying
84
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- and needs to get her affairs in order.
- No, I have to discuss my future
85
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- here with you right now.
- Well, we are discussing your future.
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- You're going out to Edwina Cutwater.
- I want a partnership.
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Listen, the day you give up be-bop and
concentrate on the law, we'll talk!
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Start talking. I quit the band.
As of today I'm dedicating myself
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full time to my legal career.
Later today I'm going to buy a vest.
90
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- My God, you're serious.
- I am serious.
91
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But I wanna start handling real cases,
big cases, no more trick or treat.
92
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- I waited so long to hear you say that.
- I'm not going out to Edwina Cutwater.
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No, no, no! Listen to me. Long after
Edwina is gone from this earth,
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her estate is going to generate
more income for this office
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than most small countries
see in a year.
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And it's gonna take a lot of
very sophisticated legal expertise
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to structure and administer these
affairs. Now, you do this for me,
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today, go out to her house, and I'll
put you in charge of all that.
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Now, if that's not real law,
if that's not big law,
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- then I don't know what the hell is.
- The more I think about this thing,
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the better it sounds.
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Don't look at me like that, will you?
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I don't go there as a messenger boy
but as a highly skilled legal advisor.
104
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This is really good. No more being
looked down upon by people that think
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they're better than I am because
they're rich. From now on I'm gonna
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be respected by people who think
they're better than I am.
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Hi. Roger Cobb from Schuyler and
Mifflin to see Miss Cutwater.
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- Yes, sir, you are expected.
- I'll show him up.
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- Betty Ahrens.
- I'm Roger Cobb.
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- Try not to excite her, ok?
- Grayson?
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Oh, yes, Madam?
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Don't forget to pick up
the invitations and make sure they're
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- hand delivered the moment I die.
- The moment you die. Yes, Madam.
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00:11:34,640 --> 00:11:37,120
- Oh! Oh, Mr...
- Cobb.
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Cobb. Oh, yes, you're the tedious one.
Would you mind accompanying me back
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to my deathbed? Now, here's the name
of my caterer, and the evening's menu.
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Make sure they have plenty
of goose pate, it's marvelous.
118
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Excuse me. Is this for the funeral?
One does not have that at a funeral.
119
00:11:53,520 --> 00:11:57,580
Now, Mr. Fulton Norris is a wonderful
society orchestra. I should like you
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- to engage him for the entire weekend.
- Is this for the wake, Ma'am?
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Heavens, no. It's for a party and
I want it to a corker.
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- Guess what I'm going to do?
- What?
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- I'm going to come back from the dead.
- Oh! And...
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- what makes you think you can do that?
- Because I'm rich.
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Grayson, come in here, please, over.
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00:12:24,950 --> 00:12:29,240
Miss Cutwater, this is not a parking
ticket we're talking about here,
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this is the, oh, The Grim Reaper.
You cannot bribe the Grim Reaper.
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00:12:34,780 --> 00:12:38,750
Oh, Mr. Cobb, I spent a lifetime
shackled by freilty and poor health...
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00:12:38,850 --> 00:12:43,810
wheelchairs and sick beds.
It's my heart, you see. It means well,
130
00:12:47,070 --> 00:12:50,660
but it's alsways been
something of lemon.
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I've hat all the money in the world
and not one good chance to enjoy it.
132
00:12:55,600 --> 00:13:00,770
I have never been to Europe.
I've never been anywhere really.
133
00:13:02,780 --> 00:13:06,870
Oh, sure I've ordered from Neiman's
and Gucci's,
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00:13:06,970 --> 00:13:11,520
but I've never actually been there.
I've never ridden my own horses.
135
00:13:12,110 --> 00:13:16,270
I've never been to the ballet.
I've never danced.
136
00:13:17,360 --> 00:13:22,070
But Cutwater's aren't quitters.
So, I've decided that if my wealth
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cannot help me in this life, then by
God, it's going to buy me another one.
138
00:13:27,560 --> 00:13:31,080
- Ah, Grayson.
- You walkie-talkied, Madam?
139
00:13:31,180 --> 00:13:35,250
Yes, please, send in Mr. Prakha Lasa
and what's her name, Fred's daughter.
140
00:13:35,350 --> 00:13:38,370
- Miss Terry, Madam.
- Gas me.
141
00:13:38,470 --> 00:13:42,770
Am I just getting you goose pate
or do you have any legal work for me.
142
00:13:42,990 --> 00:13:46,910
Of course I do. I need you to amend
my will so that what's her name, uh,
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Fred's daughter will become inheritor
over my entire estate.
144
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So we must draw up a new codicile.
We need it witnesses. Ah, Your Grace.
145
00:13:58,650 --> 00:14:02,570
It's all, Prakha, come in.
Come in, come in, come in.
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Come, come.
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00:14:09,820 --> 00:14:12,870
- What's going on here?
- Wait.
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Who's Fred's daughter?
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00:14:17,740 --> 00:14:18,940
Hello.
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00:14:21,530 --> 00:14:25,820
- Hello. I'm Terry Hoskins.
- Roger Cobb. You're Fred's daughter?
151
00:14:28,450 --> 00:14:33,100
- Who the heck is Fred?
- Daddy, come in, please.
152
00:14:33,490 --> 00:14:38,580
- Oh, I'm against the whole thing, I am.
- Daddy is Miss Cutwater's stable man.
153
00:14:38,680 --> 00:14:42,460
- It's unnatural.
- Let me get something straight here.
154
00:14:42,560 --> 00:14:46,630
You want to will all your money to the
stableman's daughter. He's against it.
155
00:14:46,730 --> 00:14:48,710
- No.
- He said...
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00:14:48,810 --> 00:14:53,370
- You see, I should inherit nothing.
- She should be your soul beneficiary.
157
00:14:53,470 --> 00:14:57,250
- That is correct.
- So you will inherit the estate.
158
00:14:57,350 --> 00:15:00,150
No, she won't.
159
00:15:00,600 --> 00:15:04,460
- What am I missing here?
- Thanks to his Highness Prakha Lasa,
160
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I'm going to be transmigrated.
161
00:15:11,280 --> 00:15:14,330
- What?
- Transmigrated means that my soul
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is going to leave my body forever
and become one with the Universe.
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- Then my soul will enter her body.
- Ah, good plan.
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00:15:23,570 --> 00:15:27,670
I'm sorry but I don't think
it's a good plan at all.
165
00:15:27,770 --> 00:15:31,620
My daughter's soul leavin' her body
and going off to who knows where?
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00:15:31,720 --> 00:15:36,040
- Fred, let's not go through again.
- Oh, I know I wasn't much of a father
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00:15:36,140 --> 00:15:39,670
to her when she was growing up, but I
won't lose her again! No, I won't!
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00:15:39,770 --> 00:15:43,540
- Zip it, Fred.
- Miss Cutwater,
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00:15:43,640 --> 00:15:47,710
as your attorney it is my duty
to inform you that the will
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00:15:47,810 --> 00:15:52,360
could be contested if you're deemed
not of perfectly sound mind.
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00:15:54,280 --> 00:15:58,380
Why you presumptuous ambulance chaser.
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00:15:58,480 --> 00:16:02,770
Are you insinuating that I am
not of perfectly sound mind?
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00:16:03,450 --> 00:16:07,540
No, I wouldn't do that, but I think
practically everybody
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00:16:07,640 --> 00:16:11,710
- in the solar system would.
- Mr. Cobb, the last thing I need
175
00:16:11,810 --> 00:16:16,320
around here is your ill-informed
negativity. Get out.
176
00:16:20,820 --> 00:16:25,690
Thanks for not exciting her.
All right? There, there.
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00:16:30,910 --> 00:16:35,070
Terry! No, Prakha, not yet.
Prakha, not yet!
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00:16:38,990 --> 00:16:43,290
- All right.
- I'm not ready.
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00:16:43,390 --> 00:16:47,120
- Is everybody here bananas?
- Mr. Cobb,
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00:16:47,220 --> 00:16:51,660
Let me explain something to you.
You see...
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00:16:52,660 --> 00:16:55,460
closer please.
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00:16:57,870 --> 00:17:01,920
That's for bananas, now get out!
183
00:17:02,020 --> 00:17:06,320
- What century is this?
- Now you hurt my hand.
184
00:17:06,530 --> 00:17:10,790
I'm gonna tell Mr. Schuyler
that you're an insolent little toad
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00:17:10,890 --> 00:17:14,960
- and demand that he fire you.
- Why don't you just enter his body
186
00:17:15,060 --> 00:17:19,990
- and do it yourself?
- And don't you come back, you peasant!
187
00:17:22,200 --> 00:17:26,290
Look, lady, just because my grandpa
didn't rape the environment
188
00:17:26,390 --> 00:17:30,460
and exploit the workers doesn't make
me a peasant! I'm sure he tried!
189
00:17:30,560 --> 00:17:35,070
It's just that as a barber he didn't
have that much opportunity!
190
00:17:41,330 --> 00:17:45,160
Grayson, bring the car
and my hairdresser
191
00:17:45,260 --> 00:17:49,570
and the golden diamond jewelry, over.
192
00:17:54,820 --> 00:17:58,380
- I've got to say, it's brilliant.
- What is?
193
00:17:58,480 --> 00:18:03,000
Your scam. It's legal, it's logical.
Only the bowl was overdoing
194
00:18:03,100 --> 00:18:06,910
- but it's certainly original.
- The bowl, Mr. Cobb, is attuned
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00:18:07,010 --> 00:18:11,090
to the harmonics of Miss Cutwater's
life force. When her body dies
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it becomes a repository of that force
so I hold the bowl and it becomes
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00:18:15,350 --> 00:18:20,400
- the conduit from her body to mine.
- And you really believe that?
198
00:18:20,580 --> 00:18:23,530
- Yes.
- Of course,
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00:18:24,280 --> 00:18:28,330
if you're wrong you inherit
20 million bucks.
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00:18:28,430 --> 00:18:33,000
I don't want her money.
When I was 15 I ran away from home
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thinking I could find myself in the
material world. I found only pain.
202
00:18:39,120 --> 00:18:43,580
His Holiness Prakha Lasa teaches
that possessions transmit pain.
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00:18:43,680 --> 00:18:47,750
I want something far more valuable
than money, far more elusive for which
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I'm giving up my physical being
and become one with the Universe.
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00:18:52,770 --> 00:18:57,480
And, uh, don't you think that's
just a little bit whacko?
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00:18:59,990 --> 00:19:02,790
Feel my heart.
207
00:19:04,450 --> 00:19:09,000
You are unhappy.
You are anxious and unfulfilled
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00:19:09,100 --> 00:19:13,590
because you are not doing
with your life as you wish.
209
00:19:13,690 --> 00:19:18,120
I am at peace.
Which one of us is crazy?
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00:19:20,280 --> 00:19:24,440
You are. Well, thank you.
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00:19:41,120 --> 00:19:44,650
- Margo.
- Oh, Mr. Durand called.
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00:19:44,750 --> 00:19:48,840
He needs you to set up a Bermuda
Corporation so he can write off
213
00:19:48,940 --> 00:19:53,010
- his honeymoon. And a call...
- Forget it. I'm telling Schuyler today
214
00:19:53,110 --> 00:19:58,280
- he's gotta play me or trade me.
- Conference room with Miss Cutwater.
215
00:19:59,370 --> 00:20:03,130
- She's here?
- Also with her doctor, her nurse,
216
00:20:03,230 --> 00:20:07,660
Mr. Mifflin, some English girl
with no bra. And a Hindu
217
00:20:09,830 --> 00:20:14,980
holding a bedpan on a stick.
I don't think you should go in there.
218
00:20:16,450 --> 00:20:21,460
We just have a little bit more left.
Are you strong enough to continue?
219
00:20:21,560 --> 00:20:24,630
What? Oh, I'm fine.
220
00:20:24,730 --> 00:20:28,920
Really. I'm fine. Tell them.
221
00:20:29,020 --> 00:20:32,830
She could drop dead any minute.
Never mind her.
222
00:20:32,930 --> 00:20:36,630
She's only trying
to make me feel good.
223
00:20:36,730 --> 00:20:40,800
I'm very sorry to interrupt.
Madam, I wish to apologize
224
00:20:40,900 --> 00:20:44,960
for upsetting you before.
Mr. Schuyler, if I could see you...
225
00:20:45,060 --> 00:20:50,050
- Mr. Cobb, please don't grovel.
- I'm not grovelling,
226
00:20:50,150 --> 00:20:53,880
I'm apologizing.
If I could see you outside.
227
00:20:53,980 --> 00:20:57,840
If you're trying to save your job,
you're too late.
228
00:20:57,940 --> 00:21:02,040
- What?
- It's quite lost by now.
229
00:21:05,830 --> 00:21:09,920
Let me tell you something. My father
worked himself into an early grave
230
00:21:10,020 --> 00:21:15,170
defending the rights of needy people
in his store front over on 9th Street.
231
00:21:15,270 --> 00:21:19,340
When he died my mother took a job as
a plumber's assistant so I could go to
232
00:21:19,440 --> 00:21:23,510
Law school and carry on in his name!
So now that the only job I can get
233
00:21:23,610 --> 00:21:26,840
is in some skid-row legal aid office!
I'd just as soon take it as...
234
00:21:26,940 --> 00:21:30,750
- That's enough!
- ...explore your energy vampire!
235
00:21:30,850 --> 00:21:35,150
- Suck out my fun of being a lawyer!
- Shut up! Now, that's enough!
236
00:21:36,080 --> 00:21:40,130
I never heard such a moronic load
of crap in my life!
237
00:21:40,230 --> 00:21:44,300
- Well, I don't have to take that.
- No, not you, her. Did you hear
238
00:21:44,400 --> 00:21:47,670
- what she wants to do with her soul?
- Yeah.
239
00:21:47,770 --> 00:21:51,250
- Jesus Christ, she's is looney tune.
- She's nuts!
240
00:21:51,350 --> 00:21:55,990
But you've got guts! I never saw you
stand up to anyone like that before.
241
00:21:58,080 --> 00:22:02,170
You have a fire burning inside you.
To defend people who really need you.
242
00:22:02,270 --> 00:22:06,170
And I never knew that
about your father or your mother.
243
00:22:06,270 --> 00:22:08,880
- I made that up.
- You did?
244
00:22:08,980 --> 00:22:11,000
- Yeah.
- Son-of-a-gun!
245
00:22:11,100 --> 00:22:15,000
- It was pretty good, huh?
- I like a man who thinks on his feet.
246
00:22:15,100 --> 00:22:18,630
- Well, thanks.
- Roger, I have a case that needs
247
00:22:18,730 --> 00:22:23,670
a lawyer just like you. You win it
and I'll put you up for a partnership.
248
00:22:23,770 --> 00:22:27,960
- But not for an rich goofball.
- No, no, no. It's for a very nice man
249
00:22:28,060 --> 00:22:32,080
who's getting divorced.
250
00:22:32,250 --> 00:22:35,880
- I think I'm gonna be a partner.
- Mazeltov!
251
00:22:35,980 --> 00:22:40,820
Oh, Bix, you're gonna be
a partner's best friend.
252
00:22:42,410 --> 00:22:46,510
Call the Fulton Morris Orchestra.
Tell them Miss Cutwater has requested
253
00:22:46,610 --> 00:22:50,710
her favorite saxophone player
Tyrone Wattell for her party.
254
00:22:50,810 --> 00:22:54,920
And she'd like him to receive
a thousand dollars for the night.
255
00:22:55,020 --> 00:22:58,580
We gonna inform Mr. Wattell.
Come on, Bix.
256
00:23:00,250 --> 00:23:02,070
- What a guy!
- Now then...
257
00:23:03,950 --> 00:23:08,960
Mr. Mifflin can witness the codicil.
I will sign as executor of the estate
258
00:23:09,060 --> 00:23:13,530
and then we will be all signed,
sealed and...
259
00:23:14,160 --> 00:23:17,160
Oh, a tunnel...
260
00:23:18,120 --> 00:23:21,400
- Edwina?
- With a very bright light.
261
00:23:21,870 --> 00:23:25,010
- I was afraid of this.
- What the hell's she talking about?
262
00:23:25,110 --> 00:23:27,650
Terry! Prakha!
263
00:23:28,330 --> 00:23:32,870
- What the hell is going on?
- Miss Cutwater?
264
00:23:39,750 --> 00:23:43,950
- Did she sign everything?
- Jan, an S 10... I. V. Hurry!
265
00:23:44,750 --> 00:23:47,910
Call the insurance company.
266
00:23:54,210 --> 00:23:59,360
- How is she? Will she be all right?
- I'm losing her. I'm losing her!
267
00:24:04,210 --> 00:24:08,370
Get out of my way, you fool!
268
00:24:10,460 --> 00:24:12,660
I lost her.
269
00:24:22,870 --> 00:24:26,510
- Where am I?
- What?
270
00:24:26,610 --> 00:24:30,930
- Ah, I'm breathing. I must be alive.
- Who said that?
271
00:24:31,030 --> 00:24:34,590
- No, I can't be. I just died.
- Wait a minute.
272
00:24:34,690 --> 00:24:39,170
I'm picking up General Hospital
in my fillings.
273
00:24:39,270 --> 00:24:43,110
Oh, it worked. Oh, my Lord!
274
00:24:46,410 --> 00:24:50,990
- What the hell's happening to me?
- I feel...
275
00:24:51,160 --> 00:24:55,880
like the healthiest woman alive. Oh!
276
00:24:55,980 --> 00:25:00,050
Who said that? I did. I'm going crazy.
277
00:25:00,150 --> 00:25:04,280
Oh-oh! That does not sound
like Fred's daughter.
278
00:25:05,120 --> 00:25:09,590
No, I'm not going crazy.
Something hit me on the head. Oh!
279
00:25:09,690 --> 00:25:13,630
I'm just hallucinating. That's all!
280
00:25:13,730 --> 00:25:16,550
- Oh!
- Oh, shit!
281
00:25:16,650 --> 00:25:21,660
- What the hell are you doing in there?
- Unbelievable! I can't even die right.
282
00:25:22,580 --> 00:25:27,490
- Why are you doing this to me?
- God, don't you get enough laughs?
283
00:25:27,660 --> 00:25:31,870
- What did I ever do to you?
- Somebody tell me this doesn't happen!
284
00:25:32,000 --> 00:25:35,840
I'm afraid it is, so let's just
go inside and have Prakha Lasa
285
00:25:35,940 --> 00:25:40,180
- straighten out this mess.
- Oh, geez! I can't move my right leg!
286
00:25:40,280 --> 00:25:44,300
- I'm paralyzed!
- Here let me try.
287
00:25:44,400 --> 00:25:45,400
Now!
288
00:25:47,830 --> 00:25:51,800
Oh, we... we obviously have
mutual control over our body.
289
00:25:51,900 --> 00:25:55,430
This is my body!
I'm not sharing my body with anyone!
290
00:25:55,530 --> 00:25:59,620
- Everybody's gonna be disappointed.
- Oh, where we going?
291
00:26:00,670 --> 00:26:04,960
- We've got to find Prakha Lasa!
- I can't got in there! Schuyler...
292
00:26:05,370 --> 00:26:09,340
Excuse me, this is a private
conversation, do you mind? Ah, no!
293
00:26:09,440 --> 00:26:13,540
- Please, just do as I say!
- No! Oh!
294
00:26:23,370 --> 00:26:27,050
Oh, you seem to have control
over the left side of your body,
295
00:26:27,150 --> 00:26:31,010
while I feel dominant on the right.
296
00:26:31,110 --> 00:26:34,910
Oh, let go of that.
297
00:26:36,170 --> 00:26:40,370
You bitch! How about a little respect
for the deceased?
298
00:26:43,530 --> 00:26:47,510
Let go of my hand, you brute!
I will not!
299
00:26:50,490 --> 00:26:54,550
Just stop it!
If you want me out of you,
300
00:26:54,650 --> 00:26:58,720
- stop this ridiculous behavior.
- Lady, I don't know how you got in
301
00:26:58,820 --> 00:27:03,280
but I'm gonna get you out of me
right now! Let's go!
302
00:27:04,580 --> 00:27:08,960
Just wait, I'll go first.
Calm down and try to concentrate.
303
00:27:10,620 --> 00:27:14,970
I'm the right side, uh,
and you're the left.
304
00:27:15,070 --> 00:27:18,540
First me, then you.
305
00:27:18,750 --> 00:27:23,080
Me, you.
See, if we just cooperate...
306
00:27:23,580 --> 00:27:26,870
Now all we have to do
is find Prakha Lasa.
307
00:27:27,210 --> 00:27:30,800
- There's something we have to do first.
- What?
308
00:27:30,900 --> 00:27:35,200
- Oh, I have to take a leak.
- Oh!
309
00:27:38,790 --> 00:27:42,340
- Bix, go see Margo.
- Your foot, my foot,
310
00:27:42,440 --> 00:27:47,040
your foot, my foot, very good.
Oh, you're doing wonderfully well.
311
00:27:48,000 --> 00:27:52,100
- Isn't it awful?
- I have no idea.
312
00:27:52,200 --> 00:27:56,410
I can't go in there. That's the
Men's Room. Shut up and do as I say.
313
00:28:04,210 --> 00:28:08,050
- Don't you ever, ever yell at me again.
- I'm sorry,
314
00:28:08,150 --> 00:28:12,050
- this is not my idea of a good time.
- I'm not having my lucky day, either.
315
00:28:12,150 --> 00:28:16,350
I died 5 minutes ago.
316
00:28:16,530 --> 00:28:21,040
- Oh, God! You'll have to do it!
- I'll have to do what?
317
00:28:21,580 --> 00:28:25,830
- You know, take it out.
- Take what out?
318
00:28:26,380 --> 00:28:30,050
- The little fireman.
- The little fireman?
319
00:28:30,150 --> 00:28:33,260
- You know, my penis!
- How dare you say
320
00:28:33,360 --> 00:28:37,850
- penis to a dead person?
- Listen, lady,
321
00:28:37,950 --> 00:28:42,010
if you don't give Big Ed
some air he's gonna piss all over
322
00:28:42,110 --> 00:28:45,140
- your half of my body!
- Mr. Cobb,
323
00:28:45,240 --> 00:28:49,450
if you are trying to scare me,
it won't work.
324
00:28:54,710 --> 00:28:58,920
Oh! Ow! Damnit, stop it!
325
00:29:02,500 --> 00:29:06,680
All right, first let go of your grip!
326
00:29:06,780 --> 00:29:10,880
Now slowly take your hand. Now slowly!
327
00:29:10,980 --> 00:29:15,120
All right,
now we're going to try it again.
328
00:29:15,790 --> 00:29:19,490
Carefully, very carefully.
329
00:29:24,710 --> 00:29:29,450
- What the hell are you doing in there?
- I am trying to release your Mr. Ed.
330
00:29:29,550 --> 00:29:33,430
Stop playing with it already
and take it out.
331
00:29:33,530 --> 00:29:37,600
You don't have to talk out loud.
I can hear your thoughts.
332
00:29:37,700 --> 00:29:42,080
Oh, great, just what I always wanted.
333
00:29:55,880 --> 00:29:59,080
- Shall I tap?
- Yes.
334
00:29:59,250 --> 00:30:02,450
- Tap, tap.
- Thank you.
335
00:30:03,460 --> 00:30:07,670
I meant what I say about yelling.
336
00:30:13,710 --> 00:30:17,970
I was just talking to myself in there.
It wasn't anything really.
337
00:30:18,070 --> 00:30:22,140
- Ah, there's Fred's daughter.
- Yoohoo, Terry. Stop it!
338
00:30:22,240 --> 00:30:26,760
No, I don't use my mouth!
Try to walk more like a man.
339
00:30:26,860 --> 00:30:28,860
All right!
340
00:30:31,380 --> 00:30:35,470
- Mr. Cobb, I feel so terrible.
- I know. It's not your fault
341
00:30:35,570 --> 00:30:39,130
- it didn't work.
- How do you know it didn't work?
342
00:30:39,230 --> 00:30:44,030
- You won't believe. Where's the Swami?
- He left when those people came in.
343
00:30:44,500 --> 00:30:48,430
- He's very shy, you know?
- Left? Well, where did he go?
344
00:30:48,530 --> 00:30:52,720
- Don't worry, I know where to find him.
- Mr. Cobb?
345
00:30:52,820 --> 00:30:56,630
Do you still wanna go through
this transmigration? Fine.
346
00:30:56,730 --> 00:31:01,250
- Mr. Schuyler needs to see you.
- Fine, thanks.
347
00:31:02,380 --> 00:31:05,890
- Where can we reach you?
- At Miss Cutwater's. Who's we?
348
00:31:05,990 --> 00:31:10,090
- Roger? He said now!
- I'll explain later. Trust me.
349
00:31:14,210 --> 00:31:18,720
- Don't swing your arm so much.
- There's something very odd at Cobb.
350
00:31:18,820 --> 00:31:23,100
He brings a dog to a law office for
3 years and you just noticed he's odd?
351
00:31:23,200 --> 00:31:27,760
- But he's speaking with a funny voice!
- Have you heard his secretary?
352
00:31:27,860 --> 00:31:31,140
And he's impli...
353
00:31:31,240 --> 00:31:35,420
We'll discuss this later!
354
00:31:38,250 --> 00:31:39,720
- Tattle tale!
- Are you feeling all right?
355
00:31:39,820 --> 00:31:44,100
This Cutwater thing got under my skin!
I need to leave for about an hour.
356
00:31:44,200 --> 00:31:48,270
- No! We're going to court tomorrow.
- Court tomorrow. Uh, really, I...
357
00:31:48,370 --> 00:31:52,500
Clear the decks. Sit down.
358
00:31:53,500 --> 00:31:57,600
It's my divorce. Ah, nobody knew.
Tell you the truth,
359
00:31:57,700 --> 00:32:01,830
it's a little embarrassing.
Seymour was representing me,
360
00:32:02,420 --> 00:32:06,850
but he wasn't doing squat!
You want a partnership, you do for me
361
00:32:06,950 --> 00:32:10,760
- what you did in the Brenner case.
- Oh, God, not now.
362
00:32:10,860 --> 00:32:14,930
- Oh, just explain what happened.
- Are you crazy? I don't believe it.
363
00:32:15,030 --> 00:32:19,100
If I tell him he'll have me put away.
Before I can take care of any of this
364
00:32:19,200 --> 00:32:23,350
- there's something very personal...
- Oh, yes, of course. All right,
365
00:32:23,450 --> 00:32:27,520
- sit down, I'll tell you everything.
- Oh, no, no, I meant that I...
366
00:32:27,620 --> 00:32:31,680
Ok, don't be embarrassed. I started
cheating on my wife 3 years ago.
367
00:32:31,780 --> 00:32:35,850
- Oh, goody, man! Talk.
- I never intended to.
368
00:32:35,950 --> 00:32:40,020
- Women just threw themselves at me.
- Oh, you must be joking.
369
00:32:40,120 --> 00:32:43,640
- What?
- I said, uh, must be choking.
370
00:32:43,740 --> 00:32:47,920
- Anyway, I'm Paul Newman or anything.
- You can say that again.
371
00:32:48,550 --> 00:32:52,710
- What?
- I said... could you say that again?
372
00:32:54,090 --> 00:32:58,330
- I'm not Paul Newman?
- Not Paul Newman.
373
00:33:02,250 --> 00:33:06,660
Anyway, it seems that my wife's best
friend suddenly lost her husband.
374
00:33:07,920 --> 00:33:12,270
Women usually do outlive their men.
So, naturally, she found herself
375
00:33:12,370 --> 00:33:16,310
cut off from her
normal sexual relations and...
376
00:33:16,410 --> 00:33:20,480
She turned to you and you comfort her.
I understand, sir,
377
00:33:20,580 --> 00:33:24,640
- you really didn't do anything wrong.
- Believe it. I was incredible.
378
00:33:24,740 --> 00:33:28,810
- I see, sir. I can figure out the rest.
- Oh, and then another one was widowed.
379
00:33:28,910 --> 00:33:32,890
Ok, so 2 little indiscretions.
That's not such a big deal.
380
00:33:32,990 --> 00:33:38,120
And then, another one. And another.
Going to a funeral gave me a hard-on.
381
00:33:38,670 --> 00:33:43,130
Speaking on behalf of the dead,
I find this disgusting!
382
00:33:43,420 --> 00:33:47,930
- I think I got the picture now.
- I'm not sure. It's not just sex.
383
00:33:48,030 --> 00:33:53,160
Let me tell you. These sweet darling
ladies gave new purpose to my life!
384
00:33:53,960 --> 00:33:58,950
They gave me the opportunity to give
something back instead of just take!
385
00:33:59,130 --> 00:34:02,270
- Are you all right?
- I'm fine, fine!
386
00:34:02,370 --> 00:34:06,470
Anyway, you understand what I say?
I give love and happiness to people
387
00:34:06,570 --> 00:34:10,680
who really need and appreciate it!
I'm the West Coast distributor of
388
00:34:10,780 --> 00:34:14,890
love and happiness. And for that I've
to go court? I don't deserve that!
389
00:34:14,990 --> 00:34:18,890
- I should get a dinner!
- He should get a social disease.
390
00:34:18,990 --> 00:34:22,890
- I won't let you down.
- Well, I'm counting on you! Son.
391
00:34:22,990 --> 00:34:27,540
Shake hands with him. Like a man.
392
00:34:28,920 --> 00:34:32,390
- Crazy musicians.
- You won't regret this.
393
00:34:32,490 --> 00:34:37,620
I know I won't. If I do, you'll never
practice in the Free World again.
394
00:34:44,460 --> 00:34:48,480
- I hope you plan on losing that case.
- How did it go, Roger?
395
00:34:48,580 --> 00:34:53,000
- The only thing I plan to lose is you!
- Nice talking to you, Roger.
396
00:34:53,840 --> 00:34:58,130
You have a great deal to learn about
making someone feel welcome.
397
00:34:58,590 --> 00:35:02,680
Let's get something straight here.
I never liked you in your body,
398
00:35:02,780 --> 00:35:06,720
- I certainly don't like you in mine!
- Well, I don't see why you're
399
00:35:06,820 --> 00:35:10,890
- getting so upset about all this.
- Because I want my body back!
400
00:35:10,990 --> 00:35:14,980
And I want my freedom and my privacy.
And most of all, I'd like to be able
401
00:35:15,080 --> 00:35:19,140
- to take a leak without being fondled!
- You may find this hard to believe,
402
00:35:19,240 --> 00:35:23,960
but fondling you while you make
pee-pee is not my idea of a good time.
403
00:35:25,670 --> 00:35:29,580
Fine! Fine! It's two o'clock.
404
00:35:30,630 --> 00:35:34,550
- Round about.
- I have a lot of work to do.
405
00:35:34,650 --> 00:35:38,220
I want you out of me by three fifteen!
Now where's the swami?
406
00:35:38,320 --> 00:35:43,090
Well, he's never been away from Tibet.
So I put him up at the Ambassador.
407
00:35:44,630 --> 00:35:49,020
Let's see. What is that number?
Hotels.
408
00:35:49,120 --> 00:35:53,220
H, H, H, H. Let's see.
409
00:35:53,320 --> 00:35:57,430
Let your fingers do...
Oh, here it is. The Ambassador.
410
00:35:57,530 --> 00:36:01,600
And look over here. The Arlington.
That's where Mummy in spring of '62
411
00:36:01,700 --> 00:36:06,390
had her amethyst stolen from her in
the elevator. It was so distressing!
412
00:36:06,490 --> 00:36:09,090
Give me that!
413
00:36:43,380 --> 00:36:47,510
No. No, he hasn't checked out.
414
00:36:55,050 --> 00:36:58,600
- Oh, dear!
- Yeah, oh, dear. Don't worry, I know
415
00:36:58,700 --> 00:37:03,130
- where to find him. Good going, Edwina!
- It's Miss Cutwater to you!
416
00:37:03,840 --> 00:37:06,890
- Hello, Margo.
- Oh, hi, Peg.
417
00:37:06,990 --> 00:37:11,060
...follows me in a men's room I think
I can be on a first name basis with!
418
00:37:11,160 --> 00:37:16,290
- You told me to pull out your penis!
- How about a cup o' coffee?
419
00:37:22,260 --> 00:37:26,250
- Where is she?
- Oh, boy!
420
00:37:26,380 --> 00:37:29,440
- Where is she?
- There's nobody here.
421
00:37:29,540 --> 00:37:34,000
- Liar! I heard her!
- Peggy, I swear! Nobody else here!
422
00:37:35,420 --> 00:37:40,790
- Come on out, you little slut!
- Oh, who is she calling a slut? Sssh!
423
00:37:42,300 --> 00:37:43,840
I heard that! Come on, deny it!
Where is she?
424
00:37:47,680 --> 00:37:51,250
- It was me. Bix, stop that!
- What was you?
425
00:37:51,350 --> 00:37:56,140
The voice you heard. I was talking to
myself. Hey, your perfume suits you.
426
00:37:56,240 --> 00:38:00,400
- It's cheap and common!
- Ha! At least it was your side.
427
00:38:00,500 --> 00:38:04,060
- Who fondled you in the Men's Room?
- Me.
428
00:38:04,160 --> 00:38:07,190
- Liar!
- How dare she? Edwina!
429
00:38:07,290 --> 00:38:11,480
- Edwina? My name is Peggy, you pig!
- Oh, no, let me explain!
430
00:38:11,580 --> 00:38:15,680
It's Edwina Cutwater!
She died today!
431
00:38:16,720 --> 00:38:20,220
- You did it with a dead woman?
- No!
432
00:38:20,320 --> 00:38:24,400
You are sick! I came here to talk
about our marriage, although I heard
433
00:38:24,500 --> 00:38:29,310
- how you stick by my mother.
- What has your mother to do with this?
434
00:38:29,410 --> 00:38:34,290
Tomorrow you attend the opposite side
against my own mother!
435
00:38:34,390 --> 00:38:38,810
- But I attend your father!
- You gonna tear her off a strip!
436
00:38:38,910 --> 00:38:43,290
- Now, that's...
- If you go to court, it's the end!
437
00:38:43,470 --> 00:38:46,310
And if I don't go,
your father will kick me in my balls.
438
00:38:46,410 --> 00:38:50,590
Either me or your balls, Roger!
You can't get both!
439
00:38:54,930 --> 00:38:59,020
Really a very interesting alternative.
I do not even know the use of balls
440
00:38:59,120 --> 00:39:04,170
but I believe they are more important
for you than for your girl-friend.
441
00:39:06,380 --> 00:39:10,600
- Now?
- I depend too much on them, Peggy.
442
00:39:10,700 --> 00:39:13,540
Farewell, Roger.
443
00:39:14,470 --> 00:39:18,710
By the way, your dog is disgusting!
And jazz is absolutely hare-brained!
444
00:39:26,470 --> 00:39:30,630
Oh! And I faked them,
all those orgasm...
445
00:39:37,340 --> 00:39:40,150
Sound familiar?
446
00:39:40,250 --> 00:39:44,380
Yeah, well, I faked mine, too!
447
00:39:46,260 --> 00:39:51,000
Believe we're better off without her.
She isn't right for us.
448
00:39:56,680 --> 00:40:01,420
Since our little accident, I sensed
a lot of hostility coming from you.
449
00:40:02,010 --> 00:40:06,520
Excuse me! But I'm watching my entire
career going right down the sewer,
450
00:40:06,620 --> 00:40:10,690
'cause I've got a dead woman
living inside me. And only person
451
00:40:10,790 --> 00:40:14,970
that can get you out is cosmic weirdo
you can't even find!
452
00:40:15,340 --> 00:40:19,440
I can so find him! I think! Oh, wait,
453
00:40:19,540 --> 00:40:23,610
I'm sure I know where he'll be
this evening. Do you have a car?
454
00:40:23,710 --> 00:40:27,230
- Oh, this is fun!
- Shift, dammit!
455
00:40:27,330 --> 00:40:30,890
- Shifting, wheee!
- What are you doing?
456
00:40:30,990 --> 00:40:34,640
- I never learned driving! Which...
- The brake not the gas!
457
00:40:34,740 --> 00:40:38,690
- I don't know which it is. Oh!
- Bix, let go of her!
458
00:40:38,790 --> 00:40:42,680
Stop it! Let go! Ow! I'm gonna
strangle this mangy mongrel.
459
00:40:42,780 --> 00:40:46,270
- All right, that's it.
- This is wrong! Where are we going?
460
00:40:46,370 --> 00:40:51,600
It's enough that I've to put up wit
you, but I won't subject Bix to this!
461
00:40:51,700 --> 00:40:56,250
- Tyrone. Great, I gotta talk to you.
- Hey, Roger Dodger!
462
00:40:57,180 --> 00:41:01,270
Got a call from the union about a gig.
They didn't say who recommended me,
463
00:41:01,370 --> 00:41:05,840
- but I smelled your fingerprints...
- It was nothing really.
464
00:41:06,050 --> 00:41:09,980
- Can we get on with this, please?
- Uh, who's that? Someone with you?
465
00:41:10,080 --> 00:41:14,340
- Sort of, yeah.
- Well, introduce me to the lady.
466
00:41:15,800 --> 00:41:19,820
M'm Edwina Cutwater, Tyrone Wattell.
467
00:41:19,920 --> 00:41:24,020
- Please to meet you.
- Pleased to meet you.
468
00:41:24,120 --> 00:41:28,550
- Hairy knuckles for a chick.
- Can you take care of Bix?
469
00:41:28,680 --> 00:41:33,090
Oh, sure, I... Wait a minute.
Roger, what's wrong?
470
00:41:33,640 --> 00:41:37,820
- I really don't think I can explain it.
- What's wrong, Roger?
471
00:41:37,920 --> 00:41:43,120
Edwina died today. Her soul entered me
and took the right half of my body.
472
00:41:43,680 --> 00:41:47,770
- Why didn't you say straight away?
- I knew you'd understand.
473
00:41:47,870 --> 00:41:51,940
- Thanks for not having me committed.
- I got friends crazier than you,
474
00:41:52,040 --> 00:41:56,110
- but I ain't got many better.
- Thanks, pal. Go with him, Bix.
475
00:41:56,210 --> 00:42:00,300
- C'on, Bix. Nice meetin' you, Edwina.
- Bye.
476
00:42:06,510 --> 00:42:11,250
A woman who would rather buy a candle
than to curse the darkness.
477
00:42:15,390 --> 00:42:19,960
- Pack 'em in don't you?
- Hello! Come in.
478
00:42:20,680 --> 00:42:25,170
- I can start over if you'd like.
- No, thank you.
479
00:42:26,850 --> 00:42:31,420
And we wonder, Oh Lord, what it means
when a person passes away
480
00:42:32,680 --> 00:42:37,020
and so few take the time
to pay final respects.
481
00:42:37,120 --> 00:42:41,020
- Oh, big deal.
- He's not here. Let's got find him.
482
00:42:41,120 --> 00:42:46,020
However, we have received a number
of mailgrams, from reaved loved ones.
483
00:42:46,120 --> 00:42:50,190
- Wait, wait, wait! I must hear this.
- I got to prepare the most important
484
00:42:50,290 --> 00:42:55,310
- case of my life, let's get out here!
- No, I want to hear these mailgrams.
485
00:42:55,410 --> 00:42:58,940
- Oh, I really got to...
- I mean it, sit!
486
00:42:59,040 --> 00:43:03,560
Very touching. "We will miss her.
The Valley Oxygen Supply Company."
487
00:43:03,660 --> 00:43:07,850
- Oh, that's sweet.
- "She was truly a great customer.
488
00:43:08,470 --> 00:43:12,770
- J & J. Wheelchairs."
- Oh, they remembered.
489
00:43:12,870 --> 00:43:17,220
Browning Orthopedic Mattresses:
"May she continue to rest in peace."
490
00:43:18,430 --> 00:43:22,510
Oh, how deeply touching.
491
00:43:34,890 --> 00:43:38,090
Mr. Cobb? Mr. Cobb?
492
00:43:38,930 --> 00:43:43,260
Oh, hi! What time is it?
493
00:43:44,510 --> 00:43:49,590
Almost midnight. Now, please tell me
how you knew it didn't work?
494
00:43:53,350 --> 00:43:54,750
Edwina?
495
00:43:56,470 --> 00:43:59,530
- She's asleep.
- Who's asleep?
496
00:43:59,630 --> 00:44:03,720
Edwina. Don't wake her. Wow.
497
00:44:03,890 --> 00:44:08,130
- Great. When she's asleep, I can...
- Mr. Cobb, Miss Cutwater is dead.
498
00:44:09,180 --> 00:44:13,280
No. She's not.
She entered me instead of you.
499
00:44:13,380 --> 00:44:16,400
- What?
- Oh, where's the swami?
500
00:44:16,500 --> 00:44:20,310
- I haven't seen him.
- Maybe he's back at the hotel.
501
00:44:20,410 --> 00:44:24,480
- I just called and there's no answer.
- We should go there and wait for him.
502
00:44:24,580 --> 00:44:28,650
- I gotta find him. I can't take more...
- You poor dear. You must relax.
503
00:44:28,750 --> 00:44:33,210
- Stop worrying.
- No, I think we oughta find him.
504
00:44:33,310 --> 00:44:36,980
I'm sure he'll be at the funeral
tomorrow morning.
505
00:44:37,080 --> 00:44:40,690
And if Miss Cutwater really
is inside you, he will help her
506
00:44:40,790 --> 00:44:44,340
leave your body and enter mine.
507
00:44:46,180 --> 00:44:49,980
I think I envy her.
508
00:44:51,890 --> 00:44:53,690
Mr. Cobb,
509
00:44:54,540 --> 00:44:58,920
this morning,
when I placed your hand on my heart
510
00:44:59,970 --> 00:45:03,060
did you feel anything special?
511
00:45:03,160 --> 00:45:07,260
- Yes, I felt your left...
- Yes!
512
00:45:07,970 --> 00:45:12,570
I felt something
very special pass between us.
513
00:45:12,670 --> 00:45:16,730
Oh, Mr. Cobb, by this time tomorrow
my soul will be gone!
514
00:45:16,830 --> 00:45:20,650
I want to know love one last time.
515
00:45:20,750 --> 00:45:24,820
- Don't you think we really oughta go...
- Please. Mr. Cobb,
516
00:45:24,920 --> 00:45:29,590
let me take the memory of passion
to sustain me in the next world.
517
00:45:32,020 --> 00:45:36,420
So this would be
like for a good cause?
518
00:45:37,430 --> 00:45:39,030
Oh, yes.
519
00:45:40,220 --> 00:45:45,010
- We have to be very quiet.
- I'm not sure that will be possible.
520
00:45:49,720 --> 00:45:51,120
My God!
521
00:45:54,100 --> 00:45:58,760
It's a good cause. It's a good cause.
It's a good cause.
522
00:46:03,720 --> 00:46:07,090
I'm ready, Mr. Cobb. Take me!
523
00:46:07,190 --> 00:46:11,260
Sssh, keep sleeping, Edwina. Oh!
524
00:46:13,220 --> 00:46:14,820
Now! Oh!
525
00:46:15,770 --> 00:46:16,770
Now!
526
00:46:27,640 --> 00:46:30,640
What is all this?
527
00:46:30,850 --> 00:46:34,150
- Now!
- What's going on here?
528
00:46:34,250 --> 00:46:36,650
- Oh, no.
- Oh, yes.
529
00:46:36,750 --> 00:46:41,420
- What are you doing to her?
- Nothing. I'm not doing anything.
530
00:46:41,520 --> 00:46:46,400
Go back to sleep, you're dreaming.
Why, Miss Hoskins! You whore!
531
00:46:46,500 --> 00:46:50,490
- You lascivious whore! Oh, no!
- Oh, yes.
532
00:46:50,590 --> 00:46:53,940
- You're a shameless little slut!
- Yes!
533
00:46:54,040 --> 00:46:57,520
- Shut up!
- Talk dirty.
534
00:46:57,620 --> 00:47:01,610
- You're nothing but a cheap sex tramp!
- Good. Good.
535
00:47:01,710 --> 00:47:06,480
Now call me a poodle, Mr. Cobb.
Call me a cheap, slut, sex poodle!
536
00:47:06,580 --> 00:47:10,690
- Why you deserve a good spanking?
- Oh, Mr. Cobb!
537
00:47:10,790 --> 00:47:14,890
- You little bed bunny!
- Edwina, no!
538
00:47:15,140 --> 00:47:19,240
- Mr. Cobb, yes, you love rocket!
- Ah, stop talking like that!
539
00:47:19,340 --> 00:47:23,630
- Oh, spank me again, you bad boy!
- Oh, Edwina, stop it! Edwina!
540
00:47:24,810 --> 00:47:29,260
- She should be ashamed of herself!
- And you should, too!
541
00:47:29,890 --> 00:47:31,690
Mr. Cobb?
542
00:47:33,770 --> 00:47:37,860
For God's sake, Edwina, go away!
My body! What if you got pregnant?
543
00:47:37,960 --> 00:47:41,490
You have no right!
No, you have no right!
544
00:47:41,590 --> 00:47:45,530
And you have no class! You're rude,
crude and thoroughly unattractive!
545
00:47:45,630 --> 00:47:49,260
God, it is Miss Cutwater!
546
00:47:51,310 --> 00:47:55,400
I'm sorry you had such a lousy life.
But just because you never did this
547
00:47:55,500 --> 00:48:00,260
- doesn't mean we have to go without.
- I'm quite proud of my virginity!
548
00:48:00,360 --> 00:48:05,550
- It's something I've always treasured!
- Yeah! Nobody else ever wanted it!
549
00:48:06,770 --> 00:48:09,170
Terry, wait!
550
00:48:22,480 --> 00:48:26,630
Lady, if Prakha cocker
doesn't show up tomorrow
551
00:48:26,730 --> 00:48:31,280
I'm gonna get a lobotomy or a high
colonic or something, but you're
552
00:48:31,380 --> 00:48:35,650
- getting the keys to the street!
- Oh, stop being such a martyr.
553
00:48:35,750 --> 00:48:40,860
- I'll pay you for your troubles.
- Maybe. Oh, Jesus, I just realize
554
00:48:40,960 --> 00:48:45,510
why no one showed up at your memorial
service. You forgot to hire mourners.
555
00:48:46,640 --> 00:48:50,710
You are insensitive horse's ass,
do you know that?
556
00:48:50,810 --> 00:48:55,190
- Oh, drop dead!
- Look, Cobb, I am talking to you!
557
00:48:55,290 --> 00:49:00,570
For your information, there is a
perfectly good reason nobody showed up
558
00:49:00,670 --> 00:49:04,530
- at my memorial service.
- Yeah, what?
559
00:49:04,630 --> 00:49:08,700
I don't have any friends.
560
00:49:08,800 --> 00:49:13,430
I'm looking back at an entire lifetime
and I don't have one friend.
561
00:49:14,230 --> 00:49:17,360
I've never had any friends.
562
00:49:17,460 --> 00:49:21,680
I've had only nanny's and tutors
and servants and nurses. Oh.
563
00:49:26,190 --> 00:49:31,060
Once my parents hired a clown to
entertain me, but he didn't like me.
564
00:49:31,600 --> 00:49:35,950
And when my parents weren't
in the room he'd just sit there.
565
00:49:36,050 --> 00:49:40,430
He didn't lift a finger to amuse me.
Oh!
566
00:49:46,060 --> 00:49:50,430
- That's a terrible clown.
- Yes. Well, that's not all.
567
00:49:51,480 --> 00:49:56,260
When Fred's daughter was a little girl
came to my house to visit her father
568
00:49:56,640 --> 00:50:00,740
and the nurses would push my
oxygen tent over to the bedroom window
569
00:50:00,840 --> 00:50:05,430
so I could watch her and
all her little friends ride my horses
570
00:50:06,190 --> 00:50:13,760
and swim in my pool and run and play
and laugh and dance. Oh!
571
00:50:15,520 --> 00:50:19,650
Then I swore. I'd give every cent
I ever had to be able to do all that.
572
00:50:19,750 --> 00:50:24,180
To be free. To be like her.
573
00:50:26,100 --> 00:50:30,230
Well, I've humiliated myself.
574
00:50:32,350 --> 00:50:37,310
Anyway, what I wanted to say was
I'm sorry if I spoiled your birthday.
575
00:50:39,690 --> 00:50:43,780
And I'm sorry if I made you being dead
an unpleasant experience.
576
00:50:43,880 --> 00:50:48,140
Well, I am dead, aren't I?
Oh, please, make me not dead!
577
00:50:49,230 --> 00:50:52,430
I can't, Edwina.
578
00:50:54,020 --> 00:50:57,420
No sense wishing.
579
00:50:59,770 --> 00:51:03,930
- Oh, I feel much better.
- It's really late. Go back to sleep.
580
00:51:04,770 --> 00:51:08,280
Well, aren't you coming to bed?
581
00:51:08,380 --> 00:51:13,340
I can't. I gotta prepare for this
case tomorrow. You go to sleep.
582
00:51:13,980 --> 00:51:15,380
Oh, ok.
583
00:51:18,730 --> 00:51:21,680
Good night, Roger.
584
00:51:21,940 --> 00:51:25,410
Good night, Edwina.
585
00:51:25,510 --> 00:51:26,650
Roger? Roger? Roger!
586
00:51:26,750 --> 00:51:28,770
Roger? Roger? Roger!
587
00:51:29,310 --> 00:51:33,140
Wake up! Wake up, Roger.
Funeral time!
588
00:51:33,560 --> 00:51:37,570
Let's go, we've to to get up, Roger!
Come on! Up! Up, up, up! Let's go!
589
00:51:37,670 --> 00:51:39,070
What...
590
00:51:41,650 --> 00:51:47,120
- Did you have a good night's sleep?
- Oh, yeah. I got the full seven...
591
00:51:47,220 --> 00:51:50,850
and a half minutes. No problem. Oh!
592
00:52:01,020 --> 00:52:03,340
Ommm! Ring! Ohh!
593
00:52:19,520 --> 00:52:21,520
Oh, Roger!
594
00:52:27,770 --> 00:52:31,870
- All right, I'm awake. I'm awake.
- You have no idea what it's like
595
00:52:31,970 --> 00:52:36,480
- to be inside a healthy body!
- I tried to find out last night!
596
00:52:38,940 --> 00:52:44,180
I cannot believe you're still upset
about that. Careful, careful.
597
00:52:44,600 --> 00:52:49,030
Of course you can't. Can we hurry this
up, please? See, your problem is,
598
00:52:49,130 --> 00:52:53,320
you don't understand how to live life.
It's to be experienced and savoured.
599
00:52:53,420 --> 00:52:57,530
I know that, you big dope. Why do you
think I've gone to so much trouble
600
00:52:57,630 --> 00:53:01,240
and expense to buy myself
another chance?
601
00:53:01,340 --> 00:53:05,410
Cause you're under mistaken assumption
that it's going to make a difference.
602
00:53:05,510 --> 00:53:09,570
- It will, too, make a difference.
- You'll still be the same sour puss.
603
00:53:09,670 --> 00:53:13,970
You'll wind up as bitter and alone
as you always have been.
604
00:53:14,110 --> 00:53:19,180
I think not. I'm gonna dance, Roger.
I'm gonna twirl and whirl and spin.
605
00:53:19,310 --> 00:53:24,240
I'm gonna cha-cha in the rain game.
I'm gonna dip deeply.
606
00:53:24,340 --> 00:53:27,370
- Good, this one.
- It's too unattractive.
607
00:53:27,470 --> 00:53:31,560
So's a deep scar. Just do as I say,
we don't have time to argue.
608
00:53:31,690 --> 00:53:35,280
What's the big hurry anyway?
My funeral's not until 10.30.
609
00:53:35,380 --> 00:53:39,450
Cause I have to be in court at 8.30.
How are we gonna make a 10.30 funeral
610
00:53:39,550 --> 00:53:44,810
- if you have to be in court?
- I'll figure it out at 10.29, ok?
611
00:53:45,190 --> 00:53:50,010
You are so cranky when you
haven't had enough sleep.
612
00:53:50,110 --> 00:53:54,480
- Did you sign this check?
- Yes.
613
00:53:54,980 --> 00:53:58,030
- And this?
- Yes.
614
00:53:58,130 --> 00:54:01,860
- And this?
- Yes.
615
00:54:01,960 --> 00:54:05,850
- No further question.
- Counsellor?
616
00:54:06,940 --> 00:54:10,020
Roger? Roger! Roger!
617
00:54:12,110 --> 00:54:16,410
God! You can't fall asleep on me now.
Counsellor?
618
00:54:16,510 --> 00:54:19,310
Just a second.
619
00:54:19,610 --> 00:54:23,930
- Roger, please wake up.
- Counsellor, the Court is waiting!
620
00:54:28,560 --> 00:54:29,560
Well.
621
00:54:33,770 --> 00:54:37,780
- Oh, Your Honor...
- Edwina, a man, act like a man.
622
00:54:37,880 --> 00:54:40,480
Your Honor...
623
00:54:53,270 --> 00:54:56,330
Your Honour, yes...
624
00:54:56,430 --> 00:55:00,410
- Proceed with the witness.
- What the hell's the matter with you?
625
00:55:00,510 --> 00:55:04,580
- I'm just a little nervous, that's all.
- It's just your career that's a stake,
626
00:55:04,680 --> 00:55:09,610
- that's all. So, don't be nervous.
- Ah, Mr. Schuyler, you didn't really
627
00:55:09,710 --> 00:55:13,930
give those women a half million
dollars in gifts now, did you?
628
00:55:18,360 --> 00:55:20,560
Yes, I did.
629
00:55:22,820 --> 00:55:27,310
Well, I'll bet you had a darn good
reason to, now didn't you, sport?
630
00:55:28,360 --> 00:55:32,520
- Why are you acting like this?
- Say yes.
631
00:55:33,440 --> 00:55:34,440
Yes.
632
00:55:35,610 --> 00:55:39,810
He had a darn good reason.
633
00:55:40,440 --> 00:55:43,490
- Proceed.
- Proceed?
634
00:55:43,590 --> 00:55:47,490
Proceed, Edwina. Like a man!
Proceed like a man!
635
00:55:47,590 --> 00:55:49,990
Proceed, uh?
636
00:55:52,570 --> 00:55:56,660
Wait a second. Every Christmas you
gave me... Miss Cutwater
637
00:55:56,760 --> 00:55:59,790
- darling little gifts, didn't you?
- Yeah.
638
00:55:59,890 --> 00:56:04,810
So it is your practice! Indeed,
ladies and gentlemen of the world.
639
00:56:05,570 --> 00:56:10,200
It is standard practice among many
business professionals to reward
640
00:56:10,300 --> 00:56:14,180
valued clients with gifts, is it not?
641
00:56:14,280 --> 00:56:18,350
- Oh!
- Yeah. Yes, it is.
642
00:56:19,650 --> 00:56:23,740
Objection. The money in question came
from the Schuyler's personal account,
643
00:56:23,840 --> 00:56:29,020
not from the law firm and therefore
cannot be construed as business gifts.
644
00:56:29,440 --> 00:56:32,520
Good point, Toots.
645
00:56:32,820 --> 00:56:36,950
Oh! Women! Uh, can't live with 'em,
can't live without 'em.
646
00:56:37,050 --> 00:56:41,270
Oh, Roger, please, wake up!
647
00:56:42,730 --> 00:56:44,530
Mr. Cobb!
648
00:56:45,760 --> 00:56:49,160
I'm sorry, Roger.
649
00:56:49,340 --> 00:56:51,940
Roger! Roger!
650
00:56:57,650 --> 00:57:01,240
- Oh! Oh! What?
- Mr. Cobb, are you all right?
651
00:57:01,340 --> 00:57:06,160
- Yeah. No problem.
- How do you respond to the objection?
652
00:57:06,260 --> 00:57:08,260
Objection?
653
00:57:09,690 --> 00:57:13,790
- Uh, could you read that back, please?
- The money in question came from the
654
00:57:13,890 --> 00:57:17,950
Schuyler's personal account, not from
the law firm and therefore cannot be
655
00:57:18,050 --> 00:57:21,740
- construed as business gifts.
- Business gifts?
656
00:57:21,840 --> 00:57:26,060
- Sorry, I didn't have another idea.
- Edwina, you're brilliant!
657
00:57:26,980 --> 00:57:28,990
Your Honor,
658
00:57:29,090 --> 00:57:32,660
Mrs. Schuyler's sole source of support
was Mr. Schuyler whose sole source
659
00:57:32,760 --> 00:57:36,830
of income was the law firm. So the
better the law firm's business was
660
00:57:36,930 --> 00:57:40,990
the more money Mr. Schuyler could take
home to Mrs. Schuyler, therefore,
661
00:57:41,090 --> 00:57:45,160
since business gifts are intended to
increase business, the more generous
662
00:57:45,260 --> 00:57:49,330
Mr. Schuyler was with his gift giving
the better able he was to support
663
00:57:49,430 --> 00:57:54,020
Mrs. Schuyler in the manner
to which she'd become accustomed to.
664
00:57:56,610 --> 00:58:00,010
Give me a minute.
665
00:58:02,780 --> 00:58:06,870
Edwina, I could kiss you. We'll win!
I'm gonna get my partnership and we're
666
00:58:06,970 --> 00:58:11,730
gonna make that funeral! None of those
were clients, but don't tell anyone!
667
00:58:12,570 --> 00:58:16,410
- What?
- I'm going to overrule the objection.
668
00:58:16,510 --> 00:58:20,240
- Thank you, Your Honor.
- Just a second, this isn't fair.
669
00:58:20,340 --> 00:58:24,410
You Honor, I move we dismiss claim
for damages because those women...
670
00:58:24,510 --> 00:58:27,740
- Shut up!
- What did you just say?
671
00:58:27,840 --> 00:58:30,870
- Nothing.
- Just tell me what you said.
672
00:58:30,970 --> 00:58:34,000
- I didn't say anything.
- Those women...
673
00:58:34,100 --> 00:58:38,160
- Those women were not his clients.
- Mr. Cobb, are you all right?
674
00:58:38,260 --> 00:58:43,220
- I just bit my tongue, that's all.
- Were any of those women clients?
675
00:58:44,530 --> 00:58:47,530
Uh, here we go.
676
00:58:48,380 --> 00:58:52,770
- No! You're dead meat, Buddy!
- It's Edwina Cutwater's soul in me!
677
00:58:53,320 --> 00:58:56,910
- Oh, that's right blame it all on me!
- It's your fault, I had this case won.
678
00:58:57,010 --> 00:59:00,040
- No, I had it won!
- What the hell's going on here?
679
00:59:00,140 --> 00:59:04,230
- It's all not fair!
- There's no fairness in a court room!
680
00:59:04,330 --> 00:59:09,030
- 500 dollars. Contempt of court!
- Good for you, Judge.
681
00:59:09,130 --> 00:59:11,160
- 1,000 dollars!
- Shut up!
682
00:59:11,260 --> 00:59:15,520
- No, you shut up! 1,500!
- Not you, her. I got her inside me.
683
00:59:16,400 --> 00:59:20,500
- Well then, both o'you shut up.
- Don't tell me to shut up, Charles!
684
00:59:20,600 --> 00:59:24,890
2.000 dollars and Bail throw
this jackass out of my court!
685
00:59:25,190 --> 00:59:29,290
- I am going to the State Bar. Lunatic!
- You can't do this to me!
686
00:59:29,390 --> 00:59:33,250
Not just a lunatic, a pervert, too.
He plays with himself!
687
00:59:33,350 --> 00:59:37,690
- And he cheated on me with a dead body!
- You're fired, Cobb!
688
00:59:40,570 --> 00:59:44,730
Oh, Roger, I see what you mean
about life is to be savoured!
689
00:59:45,070 --> 00:59:49,610
- It's so... dramatic.
- I am going to kill you.
690
00:59:50,940 --> 00:59:55,190
- I was just trying to help.
- You failed!
691
00:59:55,490 --> 01:00:00,000
What happened since you help me?
I've lost my girl, I've lost my job,
692
01:00:00,100 --> 01:00:03,910
I've alienated my dog!
I broke my sunglass.
693
01:00:04,010 --> 01:00:07,740
You can't even get that kind any more.
Stop helping me!
694
01:00:07,840 --> 01:00:11,910
You're so ungrateful. If it weren't
for me you would get that partnership
695
01:00:12,010 --> 01:00:16,080
and have to take cases like that!
Kiss your Dad's high ideals goodbye.
696
01:00:16,180 --> 01:00:21,270
You'd also be married to Peggy.
You call that savouring life?
697
01:00:22,530 --> 01:00:26,910
- Who's talking about savouring life!
- I spent my life in a sick bed.
698
01:00:27,010 --> 01:00:30,230
What's your excuse?
699
01:00:30,940 --> 01:00:35,820
You know, it's just like a dead person
to say something like that.
700
01:00:39,860 --> 01:00:42,910
- How much to the airport?
- Uh, 30 bucks.
701
01:00:43,010 --> 01:00:48,250
- 100. Pan Am. He has to get his plane.
- It doesn't leave till midnight.
702
01:00:48,350 --> 01:00:50,580
- Make it 200.
- No problem.
703
01:00:50,680 --> 01:00:53,030
- No problem.
- Bon voyage.
704
01:00:53,130 --> 01:00:54,530
Voyage?
705
01:00:57,650 --> 01:01:01,830
- Waste of time. Hurry to the cemetery.
- He better be there, lady!
706
01:01:01,930 --> 01:01:06,450
- Maybe Terry picked him up.
- He just better be there!
707
01:01:06,550 --> 01:01:10,770
Oh, there's the elevator.
Hurry! Oh, I love running!
708
01:01:20,110 --> 01:01:23,790
- Have you seen Prakha?
- I was hoping you had.
709
01:01:23,890 --> 01:01:28,980
- He wasn't at the hotel this morning.
- Oh, I'm ruined. God!
710
01:01:31,820 --> 01:01:35,970
What is that? And who are
all those people behind my hearse?
711
01:01:36,070 --> 01:01:39,740
- Oh, I invited them.
- What do you mean?
712
01:01:39,840 --> 01:01:43,920
Last night while you were asleep,
I wanted to surprise you.
713
01:01:44,020 --> 01:01:48,730
I thought it might make your funeral
a little more fun. I don't know.
714
01:01:52,490 --> 01:01:55,490
Edwina. Edwina?
715
01:01:59,320 --> 01:02:04,110
You got a little mirror?
Compact or something?
716
01:02:10,360 --> 01:02:14,520
Oh! Oh, Roger, thank you.
717
01:02:14,860 --> 01:02:18,960
Ok. Don't make a big deal out of it,
I just did it because I thought
718
01:02:19,060 --> 01:02:23,120
I liked you. I've gotten
over that since then.
719
01:02:23,220 --> 01:02:26,750
- Now, come on.
- It's all right. I'm ok now.
720
01:02:26,850 --> 01:02:30,740
- Really. I'm fine.
- You're ok?
721
01:02:30,840 --> 01:02:36,060
Yes. It's the nicest thing anybody's
ever done for me.
722
01:02:36,610 --> 01:02:40,820
- Don't say that.
- Well, it is...
723
01:02:42,030 --> 01:02:46,490
You're best friend I've ever had.
724
01:02:52,910 --> 01:02:54,920
- Thanks.
- Are you all right?
725
01:02:55,020 --> 01:02:58,520
Oh, yeah. The music got to me.
726
01:03:01,910 --> 01:03:06,860
And I will dwell in the house
of the Lord forever. Amen.
727
01:03:07,160 --> 01:03:08,160
Amen.
728
01:03:21,200 --> 01:03:22,400
Terry?
729
01:03:25,160 --> 01:03:29,040
I have this terrible feeling we're
never going to see Prakha Lasa again.
730
01:03:29,140 --> 01:03:33,210
- I'll find him. Maybe at the hotel.
- I told you. He's not there.
731
01:03:33,310 --> 01:03:37,540
Let's file a Missing Persons report.
Hey, maybe he's trying to get home!
732
01:03:37,640 --> 01:03:41,710
- Let's try the airports.
- Actually, the hotel might be better.
733
01:03:41,810 --> 01:03:45,820
He's bound to turn up there
eventually. We should try there first.
734
01:03:52,820 --> 01:03:57,250
- What are you doing?
- We may not have another chance.
735
01:03:57,350 --> 01:04:01,420
- Oh, but I don't think I can...
- Please, Roger, I want to feel
736
01:04:01,520 --> 01:04:06,230
your naked skin next to mine.
I want to feel our bodies merge.
737
01:04:06,990 --> 01:04:11,080
Well, I guess there's nothing wrong
with a quick little old merge.
738
01:04:11,180 --> 01:04:15,250
- Oh, no, you don't do that once again!
- Why don't you relax,
739
01:04:15,350 --> 01:04:19,420
- maybe you'll learn something.
- I thought we've to find Prakha Lasa?
740
01:04:19,520 --> 01:04:23,580
- I'm just taking a little breather.
- Well, put your little breather back
741
01:04:23,680 --> 01:04:27,710
- in your trousers and let's find him!
- Roger, what's wrong?
742
01:04:27,810 --> 01:04:30,830
- What?
- Don't I excite you?
743
01:04:30,930 --> 01:04:35,320
- Edwina, what are you doing?
- I am thinking of very old nuns.
744
01:04:35,820 --> 01:04:40,210
- Oh, please don't do this to me.
- Roger, don't you want me?
745
01:04:40,310 --> 01:04:45,480
Oh, God! Now she's thinking of
dead kittens! Would you excuse us?
746
01:04:49,030 --> 01:04:53,170
All right! What happened to
"Oh, Roger, you're my best friend!"?
747
01:04:53,270 --> 01:04:57,340
I just don't feel like performing
a sexual act on Fred's daughter.
748
01:04:57,440 --> 01:05:00,500
- How about if she performs one on us?
- No!
749
01:05:00,600 --> 01:05:04,620
- Please?
- No! What is so important about sex?
750
01:05:04,720 --> 01:05:09,660
So important about sex? That's like
"What's important about laughing?"
751
01:05:09,760 --> 01:05:13,290
Or Duke Ellington or the World Series?
752
01:05:13,390 --> 01:05:17,460
It's one of those things that makes
you feel like you're really living,
753
01:05:17,560 --> 01:05:21,630
- Like you're glad to be alive!
- I am already glad to be alive.
754
01:05:21,730 --> 01:05:25,790
I don't need to play 'tonsil hockey'
with some English tart to feel good,
755
01:05:25,890 --> 01:05:30,520
- In fact, I feel quite tingly!
- Yeah! You're feeling my tingles!
756
01:05:31,910 --> 01:05:36,530
- What do you mean?
- It's called "sexual excitement".
757
01:05:37,700 --> 01:05:41,290
- It is?
- Yes. If you think this feels good,
758
01:05:41,390 --> 01:05:46,520
wait'll you feel what
hot passionate boffing feels like.
759
01:05:47,990 --> 01:05:52,150
- And what happens? Bigger tingles?
- Oh, major tingles.
760
01:05:53,530 --> 01:05:57,690
- Will she still respect us tomorrow?
- She doesn't respect us now!
761
01:05:57,790 --> 01:06:01,280
- Let's boff!
- Yeah!
762
01:06:02,070 --> 01:06:06,090
- This could be sort of embarrassing.
- For who?
763
01:06:06,190 --> 01:06:10,080
For me. As soon as I get Terry's body,
you'll know what I look like naked.
764
01:06:10,180 --> 01:06:13,750
I swear to God I'll never tell anyone.
765
01:06:13,850 --> 01:06:17,920
- Ok, thank you.
- You're welcome, now shut up.
766
01:06:18,020 --> 01:06:22,090
- What should I do? How can I help?
- Fantasize.
767
01:06:22,190 --> 01:06:25,580
- Oh. Ok. I'm good at that.
- Oh, Terry.
768
01:06:25,680 --> 01:06:29,980
- Oh, Roger.
- Oh, Clark. Wait a second, wait!
769
01:06:33,070 --> 01:06:36,130
- What are you doing?
- I'm fantasizing.
770
01:06:36,230 --> 01:06:40,410
- I see Clark Gable takes his shirt off!
- I know. Isn't this hot?
771
01:06:40,830 --> 01:06:45,610
- No! It's cooling me off, you know?
- It's making me tingle like crazy.
772
01:06:47,200 --> 01:06:52,400
Ok. Now just throw a couple o' women
on top of him and we're in business!
773
01:06:52,830 --> 01:06:56,030
- Ok.
- All right!
774
01:06:56,660 --> 01:07:00,190
- Is it all right now?
- Sort of. She's got the whole cast
775
01:07:00,570 --> 01:07:04,080
of "Gone With The Wind"
humping in my head.
776
01:07:04,180 --> 01:07:06,210
- Oh, Roger.
- Oh, Terry.
777
01:07:06,310 --> 01:07:10,610
Oh, Clark! Vivian and Olivia.
778
01:07:10,740 --> 01:07:14,900
Oh, Ashley and Butterfly.
779
01:07:18,200 --> 01:07:22,080
- At last. Oh, no! Son-of-a-bitch!
- Son-of-a-bitch?
780
01:07:22,180 --> 01:07:26,290
I don't believe it!
Now where the hell have you been?
781
01:07:26,390 --> 01:07:31,440
- Been?
- The airport? What did you there?
782
01:07:31,540 --> 01:07:36,650
Prakha, it is now time for Miss
Cutwater's soul to enter Miss Hoskins.
783
01:07:37,620 --> 01:07:41,540
- Enter Miss Hoskins!
- It's me, Prakha, I'm inside Roger.
784
01:07:41,640 --> 01:07:45,590
- Nyhm?
- Go warm up the bowl!
785
01:07:45,690 --> 01:07:48,110
- Oh!
- Yeah!
786
01:07:56,950 --> 01:08:01,660
Terry? I guess it wasn't meant to be
between us. I'll always regret that.
787
01:08:01,830 --> 01:08:06,130
But I want you to know that,
wherever it is you're going,
788
01:08:06,230 --> 01:08:10,550
- I hope you'll be very happy.
- I will. I've got a wonderful house,
789
01:08:10,650 --> 01:08:15,050
beautiful horses and all the money in
the world why shouldn't I be happy?
790
01:08:15,150 --> 01:08:16,150
What?
791
01:08:17,230 --> 01:08:21,120
If you think I'm really going through
with this you're not just stupid,
792
01:08:21,220 --> 01:08:25,040
- you're crazy.
- What? I'll handle this. What?
793
01:08:25,140 --> 01:08:29,210
From the beginning I thought if mad
Edwina wants to give her money away,
794
01:08:29,310 --> 01:08:33,830
she may as well give it to me. I never
thought that "Flying Nun" could do it.
795
01:08:33,930 --> 01:08:38,000
- Wait! You just can't leave her in me!
- I'd really love to stay and chat
796
01:08:38,100 --> 01:08:42,280
darling, but I've got get back
to my mansion, get ready for my party.
797
01:08:45,780 --> 01:08:46,780
Ciao!
798
01:08:47,890 --> 01:08:51,960
Oh, by the way, don't bother coming.
The guards will have orders
799
01:08:52,060 --> 01:08:56,910
to keep you out!
Bye, Roger. Goodbye, Miss Cutwater.
800
01:08:58,200 --> 01:09:01,370
So long, Prakha!
801
01:09:06,370 --> 01:09:10,230
Please, don't say it.
802
01:09:10,490 --> 01:09:15,650
Oh, dear God, all I want
was a second chance, a fair shake!
803
01:09:16,490 --> 01:09:20,330
Instead I've made a complete mess
of your life,
804
01:09:20,430 --> 01:09:24,540
and I've left all my money to a...
805
01:09:24,640 --> 01:09:28,450
lying, cheap slut, sex poodle! Oh!
806
01:09:35,620 --> 01:09:40,460
Prakha, I want you to release my soul.
Give Roger his freedom.
807
01:09:40,560 --> 01:09:44,130
No! She double-crossed us,
we can fight this.
808
01:09:44,230 --> 01:09:49,400
No. Perhaps Prakha can put my soul
into an eagle or some wonderful bird.
809
01:09:49,500 --> 01:09:53,440
So that I can fly free with the wind.
810
01:09:55,830 --> 01:09:59,990
Hover over my house
and shit on her head.
811
01:10:00,580 --> 01:10:04,900
- Stop talking like that.
- I can't help it. I'm pissed!
812
01:10:06,700 --> 01:10:10,840
I became a lawyer because I wanted
to fight injustice. I wanted to help
813
01:10:10,940 --> 01:10:14,420
- the little guy against the big guy.
- Big guy!
814
01:10:14,520 --> 01:10:18,650
Instead I wound up representing
powerful rich people like you.
815
01:10:19,580 --> 01:10:23,710
But now, you see, you're a pauper!
You're bilked out of what's rightfully
816
01:10:23,810 --> 01:10:28,160
yours by Miss Terry Hoskins, who is
today one of the wealthiest women
817
01:10:28,580 --> 01:10:33,010
in the State of California.
And you wanna be a bird?
818
01:10:33,110 --> 01:10:37,130
Forget it!
Don't go soft on me now.
819
01:10:37,230 --> 01:10:41,130
Oh, it's no that. It's just that
offering you your freedom is the first
820
01:10:41,230 --> 01:10:44,960
- unselfish thing I've ever done.
- How's it feel?
821
01:10:45,060 --> 01:10:48,630
- Oh, wonderful.
- You're ok, Edwina.
822
01:10:48,730 --> 01:10:51,320
Give me the number of the
Fulton Norris orchestra, please.
823
01:11:20,290 --> 01:11:24,130
Dad, you don't have to do that.
You're not an employee any more.
824
01:11:24,230 --> 01:11:28,130
- Someone's gotta do it.
- I'll hire someone. Pack your things.
825
01:11:28,230 --> 01:11:32,300
You're moving up to the house.
No, I won't. It's not right!
826
01:11:32,400 --> 01:11:36,290
Yes, you will. I won't have people
saying my father lives in a stable.
827
01:11:36,390 --> 01:11:40,470
I bought you a tuxedo. You're coming
to the party tonight. And take a bath!
828
01:11:40,570 --> 01:11:44,840
You know, you're nicer to that horse
than you are to people?
829
01:11:44,940 --> 01:11:49,400
- Why don't you take him to your party?
- If it were appropriate to me I would!
830
01:11:52,120 --> 01:11:56,220
- Oh, you're lucky you're a gelding.
- Snap it up, guys. Thank you.
831
01:11:56,320 --> 01:12:00,380
Smile, please. Oh, and if you have
to winkie let's do it now.
832
01:12:00,480 --> 01:12:05,410
They have a full rehearsal
in 5 minutes.
833
01:12:08,160 --> 01:12:12,320
- Come on. Come on. Come on!
- Come on.
834
01:12:14,580 --> 01:12:18,460
- How you plan on pullin' this off?
- Beats the heck outta me.
835
01:12:18,560 --> 01:12:22,460
Well, if I can be of any help at all,
you in worse trouble than I thought.
836
01:12:22,560 --> 01:12:25,160
That's right.
837
01:12:28,870 --> 01:12:33,130
- That's more fun than being a lawyer.
- I know.
838
01:12:33,230 --> 01:12:37,040
I think you should forget the law
and become a musician full time.
839
01:12:37,140 --> 01:12:41,220
- Oh, it's a nice dream, but I can't.
- There's nothing sadder than
840
01:12:41,320 --> 01:12:45,380
looking back at the end of your life
and saying, "I didn't do it right".
841
01:12:45,480 --> 01:12:49,590
- And believe me, I know.
- Yeah. Oh, my solo's coming up.
842
01:12:49,690 --> 01:12:53,790
- Can you give me control of my hand?
- Sure.
843
01:13:01,830 --> 01:13:05,030
I'm sorry again.
844
01:13:05,560 --> 01:13:09,660
- Is this some sort of a joke?
- You didn't like that?
845
01:13:13,080 --> 01:13:17,050
Listen, I'll be ok.
I just need a minute.
846
01:13:17,150 --> 01:13:21,090
- Ok, gentlemen, let's take a break.
- Who are those guys?
847
01:13:21,190 --> 01:13:25,290
- Bring the bowl. Come on.
- The bowl.
848
01:13:26,080 --> 01:13:30,490
- You know, your friend's a real freak.
- Thank you.
849
01:13:33,660 --> 01:13:36,700
See you in the mornin'.
850
01:13:36,870 --> 01:13:40,910
I'm gonna put on a bloody tuxedo.
851
01:13:46,870 --> 01:13:49,270
Prakha! Now!
852
01:13:56,370 --> 01:13:58,170
Good boy.
853
01:14:02,160 --> 01:14:04,360
Oh! Edwina?
854
01:14:11,910 --> 01:14:15,860
- Ok! Miss Hoskins!
- Hoskins.
855
01:14:21,620 --> 01:14:23,630
Grab that bowl!
856
01:14:23,730 --> 01:14:27,780
- Grab that bowl!
- Stop it! Let go!
857
01:14:41,960 --> 01:14:45,870
- Edwina in bowl?
- Edwina.
858
01:14:47,000 --> 01:14:50,690
- Where's Edwina?
- Edwina.
859
01:14:51,210 --> 01:14:53,220
- Edwina in water?
- Edwina.
860
01:14:53,320 --> 01:14:57,990
You just made a big mistake, Buster!
Guards! Guards!
861
01:14:58,460 --> 01:15:02,720
- Put Edwina back in the bowl?
- Back in bowl.
862
01:15:02,820 --> 01:15:06,670
- Yes, back in bowl. Yes, back in bowl.
- Back in bowl. Nyhm.
863
01:15:06,770 --> 01:15:10,740
Nyhm? Whatta you mean?
864
01:15:10,840 --> 01:15:14,420
- Oh, you have to fix the bowl?
- Fix bowl.
865
01:15:14,520 --> 01:15:16,510
- Fix bowl.
- Fix bowl.
866
01:15:16,610 --> 01:15:20,680
- You put Edwina back in bowl.
- Back in bowl.
867
01:15:20,780 --> 01:15:25,240
Edwina back in bowl. Go fix bowl.
Go fix bowl. Go, go, go!
868
01:15:25,710 --> 01:15:29,620
Edwina, if you can hear me
blow some bubbles or something.
869
01:15:31,170 --> 01:15:33,180
I'm talking to a bucket!
870
01:15:33,280 --> 01:15:37,410
Get that bucket! Get that bucket!
Don't let him get away!
871
01:16:03,460 --> 01:16:06,380
- Ty, feel this.
- What is it?
872
01:16:06,480 --> 01:16:09,510
- Take good care of it!
- What is it?
873
01:16:09,610 --> 01:16:13,710
- It's very, very special.
- No problem.
874
01:16:26,630 --> 01:16:30,950
Hey, where are you going
with that green bucket?
875
01:16:36,120 --> 01:16:38,700
Get out of my way!
876
01:16:44,330 --> 01:16:46,130
Oh! Shit!
877
01:16:54,710 --> 01:16:58,870
- Oh! Damn!
- It's all right.
878
01:17:02,080 --> 01:17:03,080
No!
879
01:17:06,080 --> 01:17:10,240
- Want us to throw him out, ma'am?
- No, he's harmless.
880
01:17:29,830 --> 01:17:32,830
Goodbye, Edwina.
881
01:17:34,880 --> 01:17:35,930
- Good evening.
- Miss Hoskins?
882
01:17:36,030 --> 01:17:39,970
Mr. Mifflin! Mr. Schuyler.
We have rather a pleasant orchestra.
883
01:17:40,070 --> 01:17:43,240
Daddy, how debonaire.
884
01:17:46,540 --> 01:17:51,050
Oh, good evening. I'm Terry Hoskins.
Welcome to Hoskins Manor.
885
01:17:51,150 --> 01:17:57,530
<i>~ All of me. Why not take all of me. ~</i>
886
01:18:00,710 --> 01:18:06,340
<i>~ Can't you see.
I'm not good without... ~</i>
887
01:18:24,040 --> 01:18:27,880
God rest her wonderful soul.
I'll never forget her.
888
01:18:27,980 --> 01:18:32,050
Just remember how comforting it'll be
to look around this magnificent home
889
01:18:32,150 --> 01:18:36,220
and always see a little bit
of Edwina in everything.
890
01:18:36,320 --> 01:18:40,420
- Yes. Especially the flower bed.
- Yes.
891
01:18:47,340 --> 01:18:51,490
Ty, I thought I had everything
under control.
892
01:18:51,630 --> 01:18:55,720
I'm sorry, man. I didn't see her
grab the pitcher.
893
01:18:55,820 --> 01:19:00,000
- You know what I'm sayin'?
- It's not your fault, Ty.
894
01:19:00,290 --> 01:19:04,260
Oh, man, I feel empty.
895
01:19:04,360 --> 01:19:08,800
You know, I know this sounds crazy,
but I actually miss the old girl.
896
01:19:08,900 --> 01:19:12,510
Who are you calling an old girl?
897
01:19:12,610 --> 01:19:16,710
- It's no funny... Ty!
- I'm not trying to be funny,
898
01:19:17,090 --> 01:19:19,040
- you peasant!
- Edwina?
899
01:19:19,210 --> 01:19:22,850
No, it's Pearl Bailey.
Who the hell do you think it is?
900
01:19:22,950 --> 01:19:26,550
- Oh, Edwina!
- Hey, hey, that's my side, stupid!
901
01:19:26,650 --> 01:19:30,220
- I'm over here!
- What are you doing in Ty?
902
01:19:30,320 --> 01:19:34,390
- How should I know? I see nothing!
- Man, when you set that pitcher down
903
01:19:34,490 --> 01:19:38,560
here and said take care of it,
I thought it was gin and I drank some.
904
01:19:38,660 --> 01:19:43,170
- But why didn't you say something?
- I wanted to see if you missed me.
905
01:19:43,960 --> 01:19:48,200
Cute, cute, cute. Oh, God!
Come on, Ty, come on. Come on!
906
01:19:50,340 --> 01:19:52,140
Hey, Bix.
907
01:19:56,250 --> 01:19:58,330
- Prakha?
- Fix bowl.
908
01:20:00,130 --> 01:20:03,180
- Ah, fix bowl. Great.
- Edwina in water?
909
01:20:03,280 --> 01:20:07,630
- Edwina not in water. Say something.
- Your Holiness, it is I,
910
01:20:07,920 --> 01:20:11,720
- Edwina Cutwater.
- Edwina?
911
01:20:11,820 --> 01:20:15,930
- Yes.
- I fail to see humor in the situation.
912
01:20:16,030 --> 01:20:19,830
He drink her.
Drink her?
913
01:20:20,380 --> 01:20:24,470
- He drink her.
- If it hat not been for Mr. Wattell,
914
01:20:24,570 --> 01:20:28,640
I'd be Edwina the Flower Bed
right now, you big dope!
915
01:20:28,740 --> 01:20:32,840
- Big dope!
- Look, look! Take Edwina out,
916
01:20:33,380 --> 01:20:36,780
- put back in me.
- In me.
917
01:20:36,880 --> 01:20:39,080
- Ok?
- Ok.
918
01:20:39,250 --> 01:20:43,010
- Really?
- It's the only safe place.
919
01:20:43,110 --> 01:20:48,240
- Oh, you really are my friend.
- I sure hope nobody else can see this.
920
01:20:50,750 --> 01:20:51,750
Ok.
921
01:20:58,920 --> 01:21:03,040
- Good night. We're in the Roosevelt.
- If you need anything you call Grace.
922
01:21:03,210 --> 01:21:07,010
- Good night.
- Good night.
923
01:21:07,110 --> 01:21:11,010
- Ty, you gotta get back on the bus.
- Oh, no way, Jose, I gotta find out
924
01:21:11,110 --> 01:21:14,140
- how this megillah ends.
- Ty!
925
01:21:14,240 --> 01:21:19,410
Besides I can be of help. Walkin'
around in the dark is my territory.
926
01:21:19,590 --> 01:21:21,600
- Ok, you're hired.
- Thank you.
927
01:21:21,700 --> 01:21:26,870
- Oh, God! This way.
- What kind o' seein' eye dog is this?
928
01:21:27,710 --> 01:21:32,000
- You hang back here.
- Hang back here.
929
01:21:46,750 --> 01:21:51,020
- Hi, Sailor.
- Are you having a good time?
930
01:21:51,120 --> 01:21:56,240
Yeah, I am. I hope I have as much fun
in my new body as I've had in yours.
931
01:21:57,500 --> 01:21:58,900
Thanks.
932
01:22:03,630 --> 01:22:07,180
- There she is.
- Roger, now that you know what
933
01:22:07,280 --> 01:22:11,660
a horrible person she is, aren't you
glad you weren't intimate with her?
934
01:22:18,550 --> 01:22:22,710
- I thank my lucky stars.
- I'm glad you said that.
935
01:22:23,210 --> 01:22:27,500
I've been thinking.
If things work out
936
01:22:28,050 --> 01:22:32,420
- you just might get another chance.
- Oh, Edwina Cutwater!
937
01:22:36,670 --> 01:22:39,670
That's our cue.
938
01:22:43,460 --> 01:22:47,290
- Let's go.
- Let's go.
939
01:22:59,000 --> 01:23:02,920
Ty, watch your head. Sssh!
940
01:23:03,210 --> 01:23:07,340
Come on, Prakha, come on, come on.
Bix, go outside, go on.
941
01:23:07,840 --> 01:23:11,640
- Go on. Prakha, take care o' Ty.
- Ty.
942
01:23:11,740 --> 01:23:15,130
- Take care of Ty.
- Ty.
943
01:23:28,960 --> 01:23:32,080
- Sssh! Sssh! Sssh!
- Sssh! Sssh! Sssh!
944
01:23:45,760 --> 01:23:48,750
- Oh!
- Hello, darling!
945
01:23:48,880 --> 01:23:53,480
Whatta you waitin' for, grab her!
Watch out! I think she's got a gun.
946
01:23:53,580 --> 01:23:57,350
Let's all take a nice little
walk now, shall we?
947
01:23:57,450 --> 01:24:01,060
- Where we goin'?
- Sh, don't wake up the other guests.
948
01:24:01,160 --> 01:24:05,350
- What are you going to do?
- You sneaked back in here to rob me.
949
01:24:05,450 --> 01:24:09,680
- Oh, we in trouble, Roger.
- You took the gun from my night table.
950
01:24:09,780 --> 01:24:13,850
- Big trouble.
- You led me to a quiet room.
951
01:24:13,950 --> 01:24:18,140
- This is what I shall say. Get in here!
- How do you expect to get away?
952
01:24:18,240 --> 01:24:22,050
I'll just tell the truth. You brought
me to this room, we struggled,
953
01:24:22,150 --> 01:24:26,100
- I grabbed the gun.
- What the hell is going on?
954
01:24:26,200 --> 01:24:30,270
Watch out! Sounds like a gunshot!
Somebody's fighting now, Roger.
955
01:24:30,370 --> 01:24:33,760
Somebody just knocked over
some furniture.
956
01:24:33,860 --> 01:24:38,350
Sounds like an end table
with chock keys on it, Roger.
957
01:24:38,450 --> 01:24:41,680
It's ok now. It's all over.
Who won?
958
01:24:41,780 --> 01:24:44,810
- We did, Ty.
- I'm calling the police!
959
01:24:44,910 --> 01:24:48,980
- Good idea. Who's that?
- No, don't! I won't go back to jail!
960
01:24:49,080 --> 01:24:52,100
- Back to jail?
- Who's going back to jail?
961
01:24:52,200 --> 01:24:56,060
- Terry? What about all these people?
- Get me the police.
962
01:24:56,160 --> 01:25:00,290
- Police?
- Attempted homicide. 2 counts, maybe.
963
01:25:00,460 --> 01:25:05,230
- No, that'll be her third conviction!
- Third conviction?
964
01:25:05,330 --> 01:25:09,390
You're a 3 time lost. You'll go into
the slammer. They throw away the key.
965
01:25:09,490 --> 01:25:14,180
- I promise I'll kill myself first!
- She would, you know.
966
01:25:14,280 --> 01:25:18,350
Police? Burton Schuyler. I want to
report an attempted homicide!
967
01:25:18,450 --> 01:25:22,750
- Yes, I'm over here...
- Stop! Miss Cutwater?
968
01:25:23,260 --> 01:25:27,420
- Yes?
- My body will go to jail, too.
969
01:25:33,130 --> 01:25:37,340
- Hang up, Schuyler.
- I'll make a deal with you.
970
01:25:58,050 --> 01:26:00,060
- Terry!
- Terry...
971
01:26:00,160 --> 01:26:04,750
- Oh, my Lord, that was powerful.
- Edwina!
972
01:26:04,850 --> 01:26:06,040
Roger!
973
01:26:07,170 --> 01:26:11,710
- It worked. It really worked.
- Is Terry in there, too?
974
01:26:15,010 --> 01:26:17,210
She's gone.
975
01:26:25,050 --> 01:26:26,250
Terry?
976
01:26:29,970 --> 01:26:34,170
Are you sure this is what you want,
honey bun?
977
01:26:35,550 --> 01:26:39,650
Thank you, ma'am. I don't know I will
explain this to her probation officer,
978
01:26:39,750 --> 01:26:43,270
- but thank you.
- That's quite all right, Fred.
979
01:26:43,370 --> 01:26:47,460
Come on, baby. I'm gonna fix you
a nice private stable
980
01:26:47,560 --> 01:26:51,100
and never leave Daddy again.
981
01:26:51,200 --> 01:26:55,310
No more thieving, no more swindling
just runnin' and prancin'
982
01:26:55,410 --> 01:26:59,960
and jumpin' for the rest of your life.
983
01:27:42,380 --> 01:27:47,590
- So, how do you feel?
- Alive and happy...
984
01:27:49,760 --> 01:27:53,170
- and scared.
- Why?
985
01:27:53,510 --> 01:27:58,100
Because I finally got
what I always wanted,
986
01:27:58,200 --> 01:28:03,380
- and I've no excuses any more.
- Yeah. Welcome to the real world.
987
01:28:07,590 --> 01:28:10,020
- What?
- Tingles.
988
01:28:10,120 --> 01:28:14,600
- I hope you try it more often.
- Is that advice from my lawyer?
989
01:28:14,700 --> 01:28:18,600
- I'm no lawyer. I'm a musician.
- You are?
990
01:28:18,700 --> 01:28:22,770
I had more feelings in the last 2 days
than in the last ten years in office!
991
01:28:22,870 --> 01:28:28,100
Those papers stacked up to height
and that flourescent lighting burning
992
01:28:28,200 --> 01:28:32,270
off all my vitamins. Unlike you, most
of us only get around once in life,
993
01:28:32,370 --> 01:28:36,470
and I'm not going to spend the rest
of my mine sitting behind a desk.
994
01:28:36,590 --> 01:28:40,750
- Oh, you talk like a beer commercial.
- Hey, let's dance.
995
01:28:43,340 --> 01:28:46,460
- I don't know how.
- Oh, it's easy.
996
01:28:47,010 --> 01:28:50,680
Now, put your feet on top of mine.
Come on.
997
01:28:50,780 --> 01:28:55,140
This is how kids learn how to dance.
See?
998
01:28:55,240 --> 01:28:59,000
Try it with your own feet.
999
01:29:17,390 --> 01:29:21,630
<i>~ All of me.
Why not take all of me? ~</i>
1000
01:29:24,090 --> 01:29:28,670
<i>~ Can't you see,
I'm no good without you. ~</i>
1001
01:29:30,840 --> 01:29:34,920
<i>~ Take my lips.
I wanna lose them. ~</i>
1002
01:29:37,390 --> 01:29:41,680
<i>~ Take my arms.
I'll never use them. ~</i>
1003
01:29:44,010 --> 01:29:48,340
<i>~ Your Goodbye
left me with eyes that cry. ~</i>
1004
01:29:50,930 --> 01:29:55,090
<i>~ Now can l
go on, Dear, without you. ~</i>
1005
01:29:57,260 --> 01:30:01,470
<i>~ You took the part
that once was my heart. ~</i>
1006
01:30:03,720 --> 01:30:08,020
<i>~ So why not take all of me? ~</i>
1007
01:30:08,120 --> 01:30:12,550
<i>~ Why not take all of me? ~</i>
1008
01:30:14,050 --> 01:30:18,210
<i>~ Take all of me.
Can't you see. ~</i>
1009
01:30:19,470 --> 01:30:23,790
<i>~ I'm no good without you. ~</i>
1010
01:30:24,260 --> 01:30:28,420
<i>~ Take my lips.
I wanna loose them. ~</i>
1011
01:30:30,430 --> 01:30:34,670
<i>~ And take my arms.
I'll never use them. ~</i>
1012
01:30:37,600 --> 01:30:41,970
<i>~ Your Goodbye
left me with eyes that cry. ~</i>
1013
01:30:44,680 --> 01:30:49,250
<i>~ How can l
go on, Dear, without you. ~</i>
1014
01:30:51,050 --> 01:30:55,510
<i>~ You took the part
that once was my heart. ~</i>
1015
01:30:57,090 --> 01:31:01,300
<i>~ So why not take all of me? ~</i>
|