1
00:00:29,655 --> 00:00:31,490
Ohh,
you're so good.
2
00:00:31,532 --> 00:00:34,785
Ohh, yes.
I am the best, baby.
3
00:00:34,868 --> 00:00:37,246
- Oh, yeah!
- Oh. Oh, that was a tit.
4
00:00:37,287 --> 00:00:39,706
That is a tit! Yes!
5
00:00:39,790 --> 00:00:41,750
Oh, you're so big!
6
00:00:41,792 --> 00:00:44,586
Oh, yeah. Yeah,
that's right, baby.
7
00:00:44,670 --> 00:00:46,880
- Oh, doggie
wants to hide his bone.
- Yes!
8
00:00:46,922 --> 00:00:49,091
Oh, yeah!
I'm bone smugglin', baby.
9
00:00:49,174 --> 00:00:51,260
Man, would you shut up!
10
00:00:51,343 --> 00:00:53,762
Hey, Jimmy.
Just wanted to say sweet dreams.
11
00:00:53,846 --> 00:00:55,764
Yeah, yeah.
Sweet dreams. Good night, Mom.
12
00:00:55,848 --> 00:00:59,101
Kiss good night.
13
00:00:59,184 --> 00:01:02,396
- Something wrong
with the reception?
- Uh, yeah. Yeah.
14
00:01:02,479 --> 00:01:05,107
- There's... There's this nature
show that I'm trying to watch.
- Take it off.
15
00:01:05,190 --> 00:01:09,069
- And the birds are
all scrambled and I can't even...
- Do me! Yes!
16
00:01:09,152 --> 00:01:12,155
Baby! Ride me like a pony!
17
00:01:12,197 --> 00:01:15,659
- The thing must be broken or I
sat on the remote or something.
18
00:01:15,701 --> 00:01:18,161
- Getting ready for bed, son?
- Yup, I'm all set, Dad. I'm all set.
19
00:01:18,203 --> 00:01:21,290
- Yeah?
- No! No, I think he's tried
to watch some illegal channels.
20
00:01:21,373 --> 00:01:24,334
- Illegal... Illegal channels?
- This is just bad reception, honey.
21
00:01:24,418 --> 00:01:26,420
- Oh, spank my hairy ass!
- What's that?
22
00:01:26,503 --> 00:01:30,299
- Ooh, baby!
- You know what? Here.
Just give me this, please...
23
00:01:30,382 --> 00:01:33,177
- Oh, my God!
- And let's get this...
24
00:01:33,260 --> 00:01:36,972
Okay, okay. Let's, uh... What the hell's
the matter with this thing?
25
00:01:37,055 --> 00:01:38,348
Yes!
26
00:01:38,390 --> 00:01:38,765
Yes!
27
00:01:49,568 --> 00:01:52,404
Illegal channels?
Shit!
28
00:01:52,446 --> 00:01:54,823
If there's any channel that
should be illegal, it's
that "all-woman's" channel.
29
00:01:54,865 --> 00:01:58,744
- Lifetime supply
of pantyhose or some shit.
- Yeah.
30
00:01:58,785 --> 00:02:01,163
Hey, uh, did you see The Little Mermaid
on TV the other night?
31
00:02:01,246 --> 00:02:04,208
- No.
- Ariel, man. She's so hot!
32
00:02:04,291 --> 00:02:08,253
- She's a mermaid, dude.
- Yeah, Oz. But not when she's on land.
33
00:02:09,087 --> 00:02:12,883
Come on, Vicky, it's Stifler's
party. We got to go. It'll be great.
34
00:02:12,966 --> 00:02:16,720
Why? All that
happens at Stifler's parties
is people get drunk and do it.
35
00:02:16,803 --> 00:02:18,722
Yeah.
36
00:02:18,805 --> 00:02:20,724
Now, come on, Kevin.
Open it.
37
00:02:20,807 --> 00:02:24,061
It's a big, thick envelope, Vicky.
You got in.
38
00:02:24,144 --> 00:02:26,313
If you think so,
just open it.
39
00:02:26,396 --> 00:02:28,357
Fine.
40
00:02:35,280 --> 00:02:38,992
"Dear Miss Latham: We're sorry but
after keeping you on the waiting list...
41
00:02:39,034 --> 00:02:42,579
for the past couple of months, we've
decided that you are now rejected."
42
00:02:42,663 --> 00:02:44,623
Shut up!
43
00:02:44,706 --> 00:02:49,545
- You got in.
- Yes! I love you!
44
00:02:49,628 --> 00:02:52,130
Okay.
45
00:02:59,096 --> 00:03:01,223
Hey, you think I should wear
this shirt to Stifler's party?
46
00:03:01,265 --> 00:03:03,809
You've worn that shirt for,
like, three days in a row, man!
47
00:03:03,892 --> 00:03:05,894
Guys.
She said it.
48
00:03:05,978 --> 00:03:08,355
- Said what?
- She said she loves me.
49
00:03:08,438 --> 00:03:10,691
- Holy shit, dude! The "L" word?
- Oh, man!
50
00:03:10,774 --> 00:03:13,151
Cornell's not
that far from "U" of "M."
51
00:03:13,235 --> 00:03:15,153
Yeah, it's only,
like, seven hours.
52
00:03:15,237 --> 00:03:17,197
Oh, and you get
to drive across Canada.
53
00:03:17,239 --> 00:03:21,743
- Beautiful country.
- Whatever. It's doable.
54
00:03:21,827 --> 00:03:24,496
Wh-What we should
do today, in band.
55
00:03:24,580 --> 00:03:28,417
Instead of playing
our instruments regularly,
we should play them backwards.
56
00:03:28,500 --> 00:03:30,752
- That'll be so funny!
- Yeah.
57
00:03:35,048 --> 00:03:39,469
No offense, but you're talking
about a post-high school,
long-distance relationship.
58
00:03:39,553 --> 00:03:41,555
And you and Kevin
haven't even done it yet.
59
00:03:41,597 --> 00:03:43,724
That's not why
we're going out.
60
00:03:43,849 --> 00:03:47,311
What do you expect him to drive
to Cornell for? Milk and cookies?
61
00:03:47,394 --> 00:03:49,563
We're gonna have sex
when he's ready and I'm ready.
62
00:03:49,646 --> 00:03:51,732
It's got to be
completely perfect.
63
00:03:51,815 --> 00:03:54,860
I want the right time, the right moment,
the right place...
64
00:03:54,943 --> 00:03:57,696
Vicky, it's not
a space shuttle launch. It's sex.
65
00:04:01,658 --> 00:04:03,994
- Finch.
- Here's the man we are looking for.
66
00:04:04,077 --> 00:04:05,120
- Gentlemen.
- What's goin' on, buddy?
67
00:04:05,162 --> 00:04:06,163
- Gentlemen.
- What's goin' on, buddy?
68
00:04:06,246 --> 00:04:09,625
- Same ol'...
- Finch.
You got the Latin homework?
69
00:04:09,708 --> 00:04:15,380
Oh.
70
00:04:15,464 --> 00:04:17,966
It means, "My dog ate it."
It's Latin. It's a joke.
71
00:04:18,050 --> 00:04:22,387
- It's a Latin joke.
- Yeah, Latin. Just drink your coffee.
72
00:04:22,429 --> 00:04:24,723
- No, Jim, it's mochaccino.
- What?
73
00:04:24,806 --> 00:04:27,309
What I'm drinking, it's mochaccino.
It's not coffee.
74
00:04:27,351 --> 00:04:29,353
'Nova!
75
00:04:29,436 --> 00:04:31,480
What's up, dude?
76
00:04:31,563 --> 00:04:33,732
You comin' to the party
tonight, Ozzie, you fuckface?
77
00:04:33,774 --> 00:04:36,193
Uh, depends if my date
wants to stop by.
78
00:04:36,235 --> 00:04:39,404
- I'm workin' on somethin' new.
- I got an idea about something new.
79
00:04:39,488 --> 00:04:41,782
How about you guys
actually locate your dicks,
80
00:04:41,865 --> 00:04:44,743
remove the shrink-wrap
and fucking use them!
81
00:04:44,785 --> 00:04:48,580
Dude, it's gonna happen.
She's a college chick.
82
00:04:48,664 --> 00:04:51,083
Oh, right.
I'll see you guys tonight.
83
00:04:51,166 --> 00:04:54,711
I'll look for you in the no-fucking
section.
84
00:04:58,257 --> 00:05:02,219
All right. I'm shooting for a
9:00 E.T.A. beer in hand by five after.
85
00:05:02,302 --> 00:05:04,513
Breath check.
86
00:05:06,098 --> 00:05:09,393
Thank you.
87
00:05:15,732 --> 00:05:18,652
- I wish you wouldn't do that.
- So, you got something up
your sleeve for tonight?
88
00:05:18,735 --> 00:05:21,572
This is a foolproof plan,
my friend.
89
00:05:21,613 --> 00:05:23,657
I have a serious question
to ask you guys. Okay.
90
00:05:23,740 --> 00:05:27,411
You know Nadia the Czechoslovakian
chick? She might be there tonight.
91
00:05:27,452 --> 00:05:29,705
Now, do you think she would prefer...
92
00:05:31,540 --> 00:05:33,500
Laid-back Jim...
93
00:05:33,542 --> 00:05:36,253
or...
94
00:05:36,336 --> 00:05:39,131
Cool, hip Jim?
95
00:05:39,214 --> 00:05:41,216
I don't think it really matters
with that shirt you're wearing.
96
00:05:41,300 --> 00:05:44,678
What? Correct me if I'm wrong but
you're the one with the girlfriend...
97
00:05:44,720 --> 00:05:46,722
and you're still
stranded on third base.
98
00:05:46,805 --> 00:05:49,474
Hey, at least I know what
third base feels like, okay?
99
00:05:49,558 --> 00:05:52,102
- You're still just a batboy.
- Batboy. Batboy.
100
00:05:52,186 --> 00:05:54,104
What are you talking about?
101
00:05:54,146 --> 00:05:56,940
Guys, uh...
102
00:05:57,024 --> 00:06:00,277
What exactly does
third base feel like?
103
00:06:00,360 --> 00:06:02,321
You wanna
take this one?
104
00:06:03,488 --> 00:06:07,910
- Like warm apple pie.
- Yeah?
- Yeah.
105
00:06:07,951 --> 00:06:11,246
Apple pie, huh?
106
00:06:11,330 --> 00:06:14,041
McDonald's or homemade?
107
00:06:14,082 --> 00:06:17,711
Gentlemen,
destiny awaits.
108
00:06:20,672 --> 00:06:22,591
- # It's been one week
since you looked at me #
109
00:06:22,674 --> 00:06:24,593
# Cocked your head to the side
and said, I'm angry #
110
00:06:24,676 --> 00:06:27,346
That's number five and six
for the Stif-meister!
111
00:06:27,346 --> 00:06:29,973
Yeah.
112
00:06:30,057 --> 00:06:32,184
Oops!
113
00:06:32,267 --> 00:06:35,103
- Holy!
- H-Hey!
114
00:06:35,145 --> 00:06:38,815
Nadia! Buenos dнas.
Glad you could make it.
115
00:06:38,899 --> 00:06:41,818
I'll be back for you later.
116
00:06:47,574 --> 00:06:50,035
- Another party sultan!
- How ya doin'?
117
00:06:50,118 --> 00:06:52,162
Welcome to Stifler's
Palace of Love, fellas.
118
00:06:52,246 --> 00:06:55,457
- The keg's back there! Enjoy!
- Yeah.
119
00:06:55,541 --> 00:06:58,877
Vicky, Jessica! Great to see you.
Glad you could make it.
120
00:06:58,961 --> 00:07:01,213
Haha, bitches!
121
00:07:01,296 --> 00:07:03,298
- Sherman!
- Hey!
122
00:07:03,340 --> 00:07:05,843
What the fuck
are you doin' here?
123
00:07:09,388 --> 00:07:10,764
Fellas!
What's goin' on?
124
00:07:10,806 --> 00:07:12,099
Fellas!
What's goin' on?
125
00:07:12,182 --> 00:07:15,602
Sherman. Not much. Just, uh,
scopin' the babes.
126
00:07:15,644 --> 00:07:19,273
Indeed! Some fine ladies here, boys.
127
00:07:19,314 --> 00:07:22,860
Confidence is high.
Repeat. Confidence is high.
128
00:07:22,943 --> 00:07:25,320
Sherman is movin'
to DEFCON 2.
129
00:07:25,404 --> 00:07:28,740
- Full strategic arsenal
ready for deployment.
- Hey!
130
00:07:28,824 --> 00:07:30,951
You have somethin'
goin' tonight, Sherman?
131
00:07:31,034 --> 00:07:33,161
You see that
Central chick, Bernette?
132
00:07:33,245 --> 00:07:34,872
- Um, no.
- No.
133
00:07:34,955 --> 00:07:38,250
She's around.
Seems she's taken a liking to me.
134
00:07:39,710 --> 00:07:43,046
Fellas, it's time
she experienced... the Shermanator.
135
00:07:43,130 --> 00:07:45,424
Yeah, okay,
Sherman. Whatever.
136
00:07:45,507 --> 00:07:49,553
I'm a sophisticated sex robot
sent back through time...
137
00:07:49,636 --> 00:07:53,140
to change the future
for one lucky lady.
138
00:07:53,223 --> 00:07:56,643
- Go get 'em, tiger.
I'll be back!
139
00:07:58,854 --> 00:08:00,814
- Hopeless.
- Completely.
140
00:08:00,898 --> 00:08:02,941
- Hi.
- Hey, Vic.
141
00:08:03,025 --> 00:08:05,903
Oh, shit.
Guys... Guys...
142
00:08:05,986 --> 00:08:09,615
There's Nadia and
she just looked at me.
143
00:08:09,698 --> 00:08:12,326
- She just looked at me.
- Well, why don't you go talk to her?
144
00:08:13,410 --> 00:08:15,954
Yeah.
145
00:08:16,038 --> 00:08:18,499
Yeah, you're right, Kev.
I should just go talk to her.
146
00:08:20,626 --> 00:08:22,544
Yeah,
I could do that. Sure.
147
00:08:22,628 --> 00:08:26,632
Sure.
148
00:08:26,715 --> 00:08:30,636
Kev? Kev? Ke...
149
00:08:39,102 --> 00:08:41,855
Yeah. Yeah.
150
00:08:43,232 --> 00:08:48,570
# At last #
151
00:08:51,073 --> 00:08:53,450
# My love #
152
00:08:53,534 --> 00:08:56,662
# Has come along #
153
00:08:59,122 --> 00:09:03,126
# My lonely days #
154
00:09:03,168 --> 00:09:07,381
- # Are over #
- That's great!
155
00:09:07,464 --> 00:09:11,760
# And life
is like a song #
156
00:09:15,681 --> 00:09:17,891
# Oh, yeah, yeah #
157
00:09:17,933 --> 00:09:20,185
# At last #
158
00:09:21,562 --> 00:09:23,522
See ya later.
159
00:09:23,146 --> 00:09:25,774
# The stars above ##
160
00:09:31,697 --> 00:09:34,074
We're here for the party.
161
00:09:34,366 --> 00:09:37,286
What party?
There's no party.
162
00:09:38,495 --> 00:09:39,580
Party!
163
00:09:41,498 --> 00:09:45,961
Weird.
Try the house down the street.
164
00:09:50,382 --> 00:09:53,385
So, what's your major?
165
00:09:53,468 --> 00:09:55,554
Post-modern feminist thought.
166
00:09:55,596 --> 00:09:58,974
Oh, cool.
Great night, isn't it?
167
00:09:59,057 --> 00:10:02,227
Sure.
168
00:10:02,311 --> 00:10:07,691
Yeah, it's just somethin' about the
springtime that's just cool, you know?
169
00:10:07,774 --> 00:10:12,196
Like the smell
of fresh rain or somethin'.
170
00:10:12,279 --> 00:10:14,573
Suck me, beautiful.
171
00:10:14,615 --> 00:10:17,159
What did you just say?
172
00:10:17,201 --> 00:10:20,954
Suck me, beautiful.
173
00:10:21,038 --> 00:10:26,210
My friends call me "'Nova,"
as in Casanova.
174
00:10:26,293 --> 00:10:28,587
That's pathetic.
175
00:10:29,796 --> 00:10:32,174
Jeez, you don't
have to laugh at me.
176
00:10:32,216 --> 00:10:34,218
Well, there's just some things
you need to learn, that's all.
177
00:10:34,301 --> 00:10:36,595
- Like what?
- Well, you've got to tone it down.
178
00:10:36,637 --> 00:10:38,889
You don't need to come
to a place like Lookout Point...
179
00:10:38,972 --> 00:10:41,934
and spout off
cheeseball lines to be romantic.
180
00:10:41,975 --> 00:10:45,229
- Okay.
- You have to pay attention to a girl.
181
00:10:45,312 --> 00:10:49,441
Be sensitive to her feelings.
Relationships are reciprocal.
182
00:10:49,525 --> 00:10:53,737
Come on, Casanova.
I'll take you back to your friends.
183
00:10:58,784 --> 00:11:03,288
Vicky, think it's time to take
the next step in our relationship?
184
00:11:03,372 --> 00:11:07,042
- Tonight?
- Yeah, it's such a perfect evening.
185
00:11:07,125 --> 00:11:09,545
I mean, it's how you've
always pictured it, isn't it?
186
00:11:09,586 --> 00:11:11,755
Damn, my parts fuckin' stink!
187
00:11:11,839 --> 00:11:15,717
Dude, you gotta take
a shit! You smell like a Yeti!
188
00:11:15,759 --> 00:11:18,595
Or not.
189
00:11:18,679 --> 00:11:21,431
Just relax.
190
00:11:24,601 --> 00:11:27,396
You actually
said that?
191
00:11:27,479 --> 00:11:30,607
Shut up!
192
00:11:30,691 --> 00:11:32,734
You did a hell of a lot better
than I did with Nadia.
193
00:11:32,818 --> 00:11:35,779
Oh, thanks, Jim, that's great.
That's really reassuring.
194
00:11:35,821 --> 00:11:38,323
Hey, no problem,
'Nova.
195
00:11:38,407 --> 00:11:42,327
Hey, don't call me 'Nova anymore.
I'm a... I'm a fraud.
196
00:11:42,411 --> 00:11:44,830
You guys
are pathetic.
197
00:11:44,913 --> 00:11:47,833
I'm gonna find myself
a little hottie.
198
00:11:47,916 --> 00:11:51,628
"Suck me, beautiful"!
199
00:11:56,592 --> 00:11:59,178
- Let me know.
- Okay.
200
00:11:59,261 --> 00:12:01,597
Keep going.
201
00:12:01,680 --> 00:12:04,183
I should be able
to talk to girls.
202
00:12:04,266 --> 00:12:06,602
I'm articulate.
203
00:12:06,643 --> 00:12:08,937
You know, I got a 720
on my S.A.T. Verbal.
204
00:12:09,021 --> 00:12:11,231
Bullshit.
There's no way.
205
00:12:11,273 --> 00:12:15,194
I kid you not, man.
Look. Listen.
206
00:12:15,277 --> 00:12:19,615
Copious. Verisimilitude.
207
00:12:19,656 --> 00:12:22,701
Oh, ohh. Now.
208
00:12:33,128 --> 00:12:35,088
Suck me,
beautiful!
209
00:12:35,130 --> 00:12:37,966
- Damn it, Stifler.
- Checkout time!
210
00:12:38,050 --> 00:12:43,347
- Please, vacate the room.
- You are such a jerk.
211
00:12:47,559 --> 00:12:50,979
God, I can't believe how many
cool people are at this party.
212
00:12:51,063 --> 00:12:54,358
Yup.
213
00:12:54,399 --> 00:12:56,693
And you got
a keg too!
214
00:12:56,777 --> 00:12:59,613
- Wow!
- Indeed.
215
00:13:04,493 --> 00:13:07,746
Oh, wait.
I left my beer downstairs.
216
00:13:07,830 --> 00:13:10,249
No. No.
Here, babe!
217
00:13:10,332 --> 00:13:13,252
Thanks.
218
00:13:13,335 --> 00:13:16,380
You're really
beautiful. Oh...
219
00:13:16,463 --> 00:13:20,092
- Really?
- Oh, yeah.
220
00:13:34,648 --> 00:13:37,693
You know what? I don't know
if I want to be doing this.
221
00:13:37,776 --> 00:13:42,531
- Doing what?
- You know, like, if we hook up tonight,
222
00:13:42,614 --> 00:13:45,492
tomorrow I'll just be some girl
you go telling all your friends about.
223
00:13:45,576 --> 00:13:48,954
No way!
224
00:13:49,037 --> 00:13:51,957
Steve, you could at least look at me
when you say that!
225
00:13:52,040 --> 00:13:56,670
Look. Sarah,
226
00:13:56,753 --> 00:14:00,716
I... I wouldn't go telling
stories or anything about you.
227
00:14:00,757 --> 00:14:05,387
I promise.
So, just... relax,
228
00:14:05,470 --> 00:14:09,683
take it slow... and
let the good times roll.
229
00:14:11,643 --> 00:14:15,397
- Okay.
- All right.
230
00:14:20,861 --> 00:14:24,114
What's wrong?
231
00:14:25,782 --> 00:14:28,368
What's wrong?
What is it?
232
00:14:31,079 --> 00:14:35,542
Xenophobic.
233
00:14:35,584 --> 00:14:40,005
Oh!
234
00:14:40,047 --> 00:14:42,966
- Regurgitation.
- I know that one.
235
00:14:44,176 --> 00:14:47,554
- Kevin likes it.
- He likes getting head.
236
00:14:47,638 --> 00:14:50,182
Gee, what a total shocker.
What about you, Vicky?
237
00:14:50,265 --> 00:14:52,434
I mean, h-have you just
never had one with Kevin...
238
00:14:52,518 --> 00:14:54,478
or have you never
had one, period?
239
00:14:54,561 --> 00:14:56,897
I've had one.
240
00:14:56,980 --> 00:14:59,191
- I think.
- Okay.
241
00:14:59,233 --> 00:15:03,111
That's a no. No wonder
you're not psyched about sex.
242
00:15:03,195 --> 00:15:05,113
You tell me you never
even had one manually?
243
00:15:05,197 --> 00:15:08,450
- I've never tried it.
- You've never
double-clicked your mouse?
244
00:15:09,701 --> 00:15:11,662
Ha-ha, nice!
245
00:15:11,703 --> 00:15:14,373
- Jesus! Stifler, how much
did you drink, man?
246
00:15:14,456 --> 00:15:18,418
Hey, Stifler?
How's the pale ale?
247
00:15:18,502 --> 00:15:22,256
- Fuck you!
- Ooh, whoo!
248
00:15:22,422 --> 00:15:26,426
- That's Stifler's mom?
- Yup.
249
00:15:26,510 --> 00:15:31,515
Shit. I cannot believe a fine woman
like this produced a guy like Stifler.
250
00:15:31,598 --> 00:15:35,519
- Dude, that chick's a "MILF."
- What the hell is that?
251
00:15:35,602 --> 00:15:39,773
- M-I-L-F... Mom I'd like to fuck.
- Yeah, dude!
252
00:15:39,815 --> 00:15:41,900
Oh-ho, yeah!
253
00:15:41,984 --> 00:15:45,028
- Yeah! MILF! MILF!
- Hey, guys... Guys. Guys.
254
00:15:45,112 --> 00:15:48,448
- Come here.
- Sherman, what's goin' on?
255
00:15:48,490 --> 00:15:52,953
Yeah, uh... Don't you think you fellas
could try a little tact?
256
00:15:53,036 --> 00:15:57,791
I got company,
if you know what I mean?
257
00:15:59,293 --> 00:16:01,879
She's hot!
258
00:16:04,214 --> 00:16:09,386
If Sherman has sex before I do,
I'm gonna be really pissed.
259
00:16:09,428 --> 00:16:14,516
Sherman?
The Shermanator?
260
00:16:14,558 --> 00:16:18,020
Come on, man.
261
00:16:19,354 --> 00:16:21,607
MILF! MILF!
262
00:16:21,690 --> 00:16:25,944
MILF! MILF! Dude, hey, dude.
What are you doin' to her, dude?
263
00:16:26,028 --> 00:16:29,406
Oh, my God,
bro, dude.
264
00:16:29,448 --> 00:16:32,701
Enough of this blow job bullshit.
265
00:16:32,784 --> 00:16:36,455
- I gotta get laid already.
- That's nice.
Really, really nice.
266
00:16:36,538 --> 00:16:40,292
- Can I have a ride?
- Sure.
267
00:16:40,375 --> 00:16:43,837
- Vicky, wait.
- Not for you.
268
00:16:43,587 --> 00:16:47,925
Yeti!
I am the Yeti!
269
00:16:56,683 --> 00:16:59,269
- Good morning, gentlemen.
- Finch.
270
00:16:59,353 --> 00:17:03,273
Where were you last night, huh?
What happened to that
foolproof plan of yours?
271
00:17:03,315 --> 00:17:06,443
Well, I was going for a fashionably-late
entrance and I was too late.
272
00:17:06,527 --> 00:17:09,363
So,
no ladies left.
273
00:17:09,446 --> 00:17:11,949
It was a very
special night, very special.
274
00:17:12,032 --> 00:17:14,618
Guys. Guys.
275
00:17:16,954 --> 00:17:20,958
- I'll never forget this.
- Oh, I'll never forget it, either.
276
00:17:21,041 --> 00:17:25,462
- Thank you.
- Uhh.
277
00:17:25,546 --> 00:17:29,633
- Well, bye.
- Bye.
278
00:17:29,716 --> 00:17:31,635
Bye.
279
00:17:33,846 --> 00:17:37,266
Fellas, say good-bye
to Chuck Sherman, the boy.
280
00:17:37,349 --> 00:17:40,018
I... am now a man.
281
00:17:40,102 --> 00:17:42,771
I highly recommend
you join the club.
282
00:17:42,855 --> 00:17:48,193
We were doin' the wild thing...
all night. I'm exhausted.
283
00:17:48,277 --> 00:17:51,363
I don't get it. I mean,
how the hell did you do that?
284
00:17:51,446 --> 00:17:56,118
It was just my time.
It was just my time.
285
00:17:57,536 --> 00:17:59,872
Best of luck
to you boys.
286
00:18:02,040 --> 00:18:05,335
- I cannot believe this.
- Come on, guys.
287
00:18:05,419 --> 00:18:08,130
You know, we should
be happy for Sherman.
288
00:18:09,131 --> 00:18:11,675
No, we shouldn't be.
289
00:18:11,758 --> 00:18:14,678
You know, I put in months
of quality time with Vicky.
290
00:18:14,761 --> 00:18:17,389
Sherman meets a chick
for one night and scores.
291
00:18:17,472 --> 00:18:20,142
- This is just wrong.
- No shit.
292
00:18:20,225 --> 00:18:23,687
How the hell am I supposed
to become Mr. Sensitive Man?
293
00:18:23,770 --> 00:18:27,441
You know, we're all gonna go to college
as virgins. You realize this, right?
294
00:18:27,524 --> 00:18:29,943
I mean, they probably have special dorms
for people like us.
295
00:18:30,027 --> 00:18:34,698
All right. I got an idea.
But it's got to stay between us.
296
00:18:34,781 --> 00:18:37,326
It's really simple. We just
got to make an agreement.
297
00:18:37,367 --> 00:18:39,703
Er, nah. It's...
It's more than an agreement.
298
00:18:39,786 --> 00:18:41,914
- What? A bet?
- A pact.
299
00:18:41,997 --> 00:18:44,333
No money involved.
More important than any bet.
300
00:18:44,374 --> 00:18:48,212
Here's the deal.
We all get laid before we graduate.
301
00:18:50,172 --> 00:18:52,716
Dude, it's not like I haven't
been trying to get laid.
302
00:18:52,758 --> 00:18:55,552
Think about when you work out, Oz.
You gotta have someone there, right?
303
00:18:55,636 --> 00:18:58,180
Someone to spot you.
Someone to keep you motivated.
304
00:18:58,263 --> 00:19:00,682
Well, that's exactly what
we can do for each other.
305
00:19:00,724 --> 00:19:03,435
I mean, we'll be there
to keep each other on track.
306
00:19:03,519 --> 00:19:05,812
Separately, we are flawed
and vulnerable, but together,
307
00:19:05,896 --> 00:19:08,023
we are the masters
of our sexual destiny.
308
00:19:08,106 --> 00:19:10,025
Their tiger-style
kung fu is strong.
309
00:19:10,108 --> 00:19:12,027
But our dragon-style
will defeat it.
310
00:19:12,069 --> 00:19:15,614
- Guys!
- The Shaolin masters from East
and West must unite!
311
00:19:15,697 --> 00:19:18,242
- Fight, and find out who is number one.
- Guys!
312
00:19:18,325 --> 00:19:23,080
Come on. You're ruining my moment here.
This is our very manhood at stake.
313
00:19:23,163 --> 00:19:25,749
We must make
a stand, here and now.
314
00:19:27,084 --> 00:19:30,504
No longer will our penises
remain flaccid and unused!
315
00:19:30,587 --> 00:19:34,675
We will fight for every man out there
who isn't getting laid and should be.
316
00:19:34,758 --> 00:19:38,178
This is our day.
This is our time.
317
00:19:38,262 --> 00:19:42,599
And, by God, we will not stand by and
watch history condemn us into celibacy.
318
00:19:42,683 --> 00:19:44,643
- Amen. Yes.
- I like that.
319
00:19:44,726 --> 00:19:48,605
- We will make a stand. We will succeed.
- 'Bout time!
320
00:19:48,689 --> 00:19:51,233
- We will get laid!
- Yeah!
- Yeah!
321
00:19:53,527 --> 00:19:57,489
Now, the sex: It's got
to be valid, consensual sex.
322
00:19:57,573 --> 00:20:00,951
- No prostitutes.
That's what you're thinkin', Finch.
323
00:20:01,034 --> 00:20:03,495
Busted.
324
00:20:03,579 --> 00:20:06,290
So, basically,
prom is our last chance.
325
00:20:06,331 --> 00:20:08,458
- Oh, dude. Prom sucks.
- I know,
326
00:20:08,542 --> 00:20:10,669
but you gotta think
about it this way.
327
00:20:10,752 --> 00:20:14,631
I mean, all the parties afterwards?
The chicks are going to want to do it.
328
00:20:14,673 --> 00:20:18,677
- Yeah-yeah, he's right. It's,
like tradition or something.
- The Rose Bowl.
329
00:20:18,760 --> 00:20:22,973
- So, that gives us...
- Exactly three weeks to the day.
330
00:20:24,766 --> 00:20:28,312
- We're gonna do this.
- All right, to the next step!
- Next step!
331
00:20:28,395 --> 00:20:28,937
Next step!
332
00:20:28,979 --> 00:20:30,814
Next step!
333
00:20:30,856 --> 00:20:35,861
# I have visions I was in them
I was lookin' into the mirror #
334
00:20:35,944 --> 00:20:38,864
# To see a little bit clearer #
335
00:20:38,947 --> 00:20:41,366
# The rottenness
and evil in me #
336
00:20:43,827 --> 00:20:48,332
# Fingertips have memories I can't
forget the curves of your body #
337
00:20:48,415 --> 00:20:51,543
# And when I feel
a bit naughty #
338
00:20:51,585 --> 00:20:54,796
# I run it up
the flagpole and see #
339
00:20:54,880 --> 00:20:57,132
# Who salutes
but no one ever does #
340
00:20:57,174 --> 00:21:00,093
# I'm not sick
but I'm not well #
341
00:21:00,093 --> 00:21:02,971
# I'm not sick
but I'm not well #
342
00:21:03,013 --> 00:21:06,475
# And I'm so hot #
343
00:21:06,558 --> 00:21:10,187
# 'Cause I'm in hell #
344
00:21:10,229 --> 00:21:14,525
# Been around the world and found
that only stupid people are breeding #
345
00:21:14,608 --> 00:21:18,403
# The cretins
cloning and feeding #
346
00:21:18,445 --> 00:21:21,156
- Well, did you get the flowers?
- # And I don't even own a TV #
347
00:21:22,950 --> 00:21:25,619
# Hear the voices in my head
I swear to God #
348
00:21:25,702 --> 00:21:28,664
# It sounds like
they're snoring #
349
00:21:28,705 --> 00:21:31,583
# But if you're poor
and you're boring #
350
00:21:31,625 --> 00:21:34,211
# The agony and the irony #
351
00:21:34,294 --> 00:21:38,006
# They're killing me #
352
00:21:38,048 --> 00:21:42,135
# I'm not sick
but I'm not well #
353
00:21:42,219 --> 00:21:45,472
# And I'm so hot #
354
00:21:45,556 --> 00:21:49,268
# 'Cause I'm in hell ##
355
00:21:49,309 --> 00:21:51,603
Don't worry. You'll
get her back soon enough.
356
00:21:51,687 --> 00:21:53,981
- You think so?
- Sure, she likes you.
357
00:21:54,064 --> 00:21:55,107
- Well, I like her too.
- Do you love her?
358
00:21:55,148 --> 00:21:56,191
- Well, I like her too.
- Do you love her?
359
00:21:56,275 --> 00:22:00,195
Um, you know what?
You can't really ask me that.
360
00:22:00,279 --> 00:22:03,282
Well, if you want to get
her in the sack, I mean,
just tell her you love her.
361
00:22:03,365 --> 00:22:06,285
- That's how I was duped.
- Look, Jessica,
362
00:22:06,326 --> 00:22:08,453
I- I don't want
to dupe her.
363
00:22:08,537 --> 00:22:12,082
All right.
What you need to do...
364
00:22:12,166 --> 00:22:14,334
is learn how to press
a girl's buttons.
365
00:22:14,418 --> 00:22:16,336
You have to give her
what she's never had.
366
00:22:16,420 --> 00:22:19,798
- What's that?
- Let me give you a hint.
367
00:22:19,840 --> 00:22:23,927
Ohh, Kev! Uhh. Yeah.
368
00:22:23,969 --> 00:22:27,097
- Comprende?
- You mean an orgasm.
369
00:22:27,181 --> 00:22:29,391
- You got it, stud!
- Well, you know,
370
00:22:29,474 --> 00:22:31,602
I'm-I'm pretty sure that I've...
given her a...
371
00:22:31,685 --> 00:22:35,647
- No, you haven't.
- Well, there was one time...
372
00:22:35,731 --> 00:22:39,193
- No.
- Oh, man.
373
00:22:39,276 --> 00:22:44,114
- Look, kid, it's up to you.
The big "L" or the big "O."
- Dickhead!
374
00:22:43,906 --> 00:22:47,242
- You gotta see this.
- # Do you believe in #
375
00:22:47,326 --> 00:22:50,329
- # Magic in a young girl's heart #
- # Ooh, ooh #
376
00:22:50,412 --> 00:22:53,957
# How the music can free her
whenever it starts #
377
00:22:54,041 --> 00:22:57,377
# And it's magic
if the music is groovy #
378
00:22:57,461 --> 00:23:01,048
- # It makes you feel happy #
- What did you cocks do to him?
379
00:23:01,131 --> 00:23:03,926
- # I'll tell you about the magic
It'll free your soul #
- # Ooh, ooh, ooh #
380
00:23:04,009 --> 00:23:08,347
# But it's like tryin' to tell
a stranger 'bout rock 'n' roll ##
381
00:23:08,472 --> 00:23:10,641
Great.
See you next time.
382
00:23:15,395 --> 00:23:18,357
- Hey, guys.
Came to watch me in action?
- Yeah.
383
00:23:18,440 --> 00:23:21,109
- I-I think you sounded pretty good.
- Yeah, man.
384
00:23:21,193 --> 00:23:23,111
I think you need
your balls reattached.
385
00:23:23,153 --> 00:23:26,698
- Hey, keep it down, dude.
- What the fuck are you doing here?
386
00:23:26,782 --> 00:23:28,826
This place
is an untapped resource.
387
00:23:28,909 --> 00:23:30,911
I mean,
check it out.
388
00:23:30,994 --> 00:23:35,582
- These vocal jazz girls are hot.
- Why the hell is he joining
jazz choir so late?
389
00:23:35,666 --> 00:23:39,378
- Maybe he's preparing for
another senior year at East?
390
00:23:39,461 --> 00:23:43,507
You guys,
we don't even know him.
391
00:23:45,509 --> 00:23:47,427
You dipshit!
392
00:23:47,511 --> 00:23:49,596
You're expecting
to score with some...
393
00:23:49,680 --> 00:23:51,598
goody-goody
choirgirl priss?
394
00:23:51,682 --> 00:23:55,811
These chicks don't know me. I can work
the sensitive angle here, fellas!
395
00:23:55,894 --> 00:23:58,105
You know, it's just like
that college chick told me.
396
00:23:58,188 --> 00:24:01,233
All that you gotta do
is just ask 'em questions...
397
00:24:01,316 --> 00:24:03,277
and listen to what
they have to say and shit.
398
00:24:03,360 --> 00:24:07,698
I don't know, man.
That sounds like a lot of work!
399
00:24:09,616 --> 00:24:12,870
Uh, just a second!
400
00:24:18,292 --> 00:24:20,419
Come in. Come in.
401
00:24:20,502 --> 00:24:22,546
Oh, Jim, you're here.
402
00:24:22,588 --> 00:24:26,550
Uh, I was just walking
by your room and uh...
403
00:24:26,633 --> 00:24:30,679
And, you know, I was thinking, "Boy,
it's been a long time since we've had...
404
00:24:30,762 --> 00:24:33,140
a little
father-son, uh-uh, chat."
405
00:24:34,516 --> 00:24:38,604
Oh! I almost forgot.
I, uh, I bought some magazines.
406
00:24:38,645 --> 00:24:41,940
Do you just want to flip
to the center section?
407
00:24:44,234 --> 00:24:46,695
Well, this is the...
this is the, uh, female form.
408
00:24:46,778 --> 00:24:49,781
And they have
focused on the breasts,
409
00:24:49,865 --> 00:24:54,620
uh, which are used primarily
to, uh, feed young infants...
410
00:24:54,703 --> 00:24:59,374
- and, uh... and also, uh, in foreplay.
- Right.
411
00:24:59,458 --> 00:25:02,794
This is, uh...
This is Hustler.
412
00:25:02,878 --> 00:25:06,632
And this is a much
more exotic magazine.
413
00:25:06,673 --> 00:25:11,512
Now, they have decided to focus
on the, uh, pubic region...
414
00:25:11,595 --> 00:25:15,432
- Right.
- The whole groin area.
415
00:25:15,516 --> 00:25:19,311
Look at the expression on her face.
You see that? See what's she's doing?
416
00:25:19,353 --> 00:25:22,439
She's kind of looking
right into your eyes saying,
417
00:25:22,523 --> 00:25:26,401
"Hey, big boy.
Hey, how ya doin'?"
418
00:25:26,443 --> 00:25:30,280
- You see?
- Right.
419
00:25:30,322 --> 00:25:34,451
Shaved is a magazine
I'm not too familiar with,
420
00:25:34,493 --> 00:25:38,789
- but, again,
if you flip to the center...
421
00:25:38,831 --> 00:25:41,291
Section...
422
00:25:41,333 --> 00:25:45,671
Well, you see the detail that, uh,
that they go into in this picture here.
423
00:25:45,712 --> 00:25:49,383
- Uh-huh. Yeah.
- It almost looks like
a tropical plant or something...
424
00:25:49,466 --> 00:25:51,385
- underwater... thing.
- Yeah. Yes.
425
00:25:51,468 --> 00:25:53,762
- Do you know what a clitoris is?
- Oh, my God.
426
00:25:53,846 --> 00:25:56,014
- Well, don't say, "Oh..."
- Yes, I know what a clitoris is.
427
00:25:56,098 --> 00:25:58,225
Oh, you do. Oh, I see. Yes, you do.
I forgot you've been there and back.
428
00:25:58,308 --> 00:26:00,269
- You know everything...
- I've learned about it in Sex Ed...
429
00:26:00,310 --> 00:26:03,272
- I really don't need you
to talk about clitoris.
- I'm trying to make this painless...
430
00:26:03,355 --> 00:26:06,024
- You know what?
I'm sorry. Okay? I'm sorry.
- No-no-no.
431
00:26:06,108 --> 00:26:09,528
- I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
- I'm sorry.
432
00:26:09,611 --> 00:26:11,613
I shouldn't
have got hot there.
433
00:26:11,697 --> 00:26:13,907
Well, you know what
I'm going to do, Jim.
434
00:26:13,991 --> 00:26:15,909
I'm going to just
leave these books here...
435
00:26:15,993 --> 00:26:19,496
for you to, uh, peruse at your, uh...
at your leisure.
436
00:26:20,372 --> 00:26:23,542
Wait!
437
00:26:27,337 --> 00:26:29,506
Well, safer
than a tube sock.
438
00:26:31,592 --> 00:26:35,554
- Okay, that... That was good.
- Yeah.
439
00:26:37,097 --> 00:26:41,059
- See you at dinner.
- Uh, yeah. I'll see you at dinner.
440
00:26:40,434 --> 00:26:43,145
So, Finch,
this is your plan?
441
00:26:43,187 --> 00:26:46,648
You know, I don't think girls are
into the whole mini-golf thing.
442
00:26:46,690 --> 00:26:48,775
Kevin, I'm sure
that they're not.
443
00:26:48,817 --> 00:26:52,529
Actually, there is one small matter that
I need to ask for your cooperation in.
444
00:26:52,613 --> 00:26:55,616
- In the spirit of this
whole pact, you know?
- Sure, what do you need?
445
00:26:55,699 --> 00:26:58,952
Whatever you hear about me, you agree.
And tell all the boys the same thing.
446
00:26:58,994 --> 00:27:02,873
Look, I gotta go.
Sixteen minutes round-trip.
447
00:27:02,956 --> 00:27:05,751
You know, Finch,
it's... it's senior year.
448
00:27:05,792 --> 00:27:08,170
I mean, don't you think it's time you
learned how to take a dump at school?
449
00:27:08,253 --> 00:27:11,590
When was the last time you looked
at the facilities in this school?
450
00:27:17,971 --> 00:27:20,724
Excuse me.
451
00:27:20,766 --> 00:27:23,268
Uh, that's
Paul Finch, right?
452
00:27:23,352 --> 00:27:26,104
- Yeah.
- Well, you've seen him
in the locker room, right?
453
00:27:26,188 --> 00:27:31,235
- Uh, yeah.
- So, my friends, they want
to know. Is it true?
454
00:27:31,318 --> 00:27:34,071
You know,
that he's... equipped.
455
00:27:34,154 --> 00:27:38,283
I have no idea. Finch showers
with his bathing suit on.
456
00:27:38,367 --> 00:27:40,786
I mean, uh...
457
00:27:40,869 --> 00:27:44,164
As a matter of fact, it is true.
The guy's huge!
458
00:27:44,206 --> 00:27:47,334
- Does he have a date for the prom yet?
- No, definitely not.
459
00:27:47,376 --> 00:27:49,461
All right. Thanks.
460
00:27:50,838 --> 00:27:53,173
Oh, man!
461
00:27:53,340 --> 00:27:58,428
So I was thinking maybe you could
give me some advice, brother to brother.
462
00:27:58,512 --> 00:28:01,139
I thought you might know a trick
or somethin' to make her...
463
00:28:01,223 --> 00:28:05,644
- Orgasm?
- Yeah.
- What's good here?
464
00:28:05,727 --> 00:28:08,021
- Try the spicy tuna hand roll.
- What?
465
00:28:08,105 --> 00:28:11,900
- How do you do that?
- Hey, never mind that.
Listen, pay attention.
466
00:28:11,984 --> 00:28:15,237
Is that all that you're interested in,
tryin' to get your girl into bed?
467
00:28:15,279 --> 00:28:18,574
No, it'd be good to be able
to, you know, return the favor.
468
00:28:18,615 --> 00:28:21,076
Be nice to know she enjoys
things as much as I do.
469
00:28:21,118 --> 00:28:24,413
See that? That's good. That's what
I wanted to hear. Now, you qualify.
470
00:28:24,454 --> 00:28:31,003
- Qualify for what?
- My man, you've
just inherited the Bible.
471
00:28:31,044 --> 00:28:33,547
It originally started
as a sex manual,
472
00:28:33,589 --> 00:28:37,009
this book that some guys
brought back from Amsterdam.
473
00:28:37,092 --> 00:28:39,720
And each year it got passed on to one
East student who was worthy.
474
00:28:39,761 --> 00:28:43,974
Now, it's full of all sorts of stuff
that guys have added over the years.
475
00:28:46,393 --> 00:28:51,648
But you have to keep it a secret
and return it at the end of the year.
476
00:28:51,690 --> 00:28:55,736
All right.
So now you know. Good luck.
477
00:29:02,117 --> 00:29:04,328
- # If you believe in magic #
- # Ooh, magic #
478
00:29:04,411 --> 00:29:09,583
# Don't you bother to choose if it's
jug band music or rhythm and blues #
479
00:29:09,666 --> 00:29:13,003
# Just go and listen
It will start with a smile #
480
00:29:13,086 --> 00:29:16,840
# That won't wipe off your face
no matter how hard you try #
481
00:29:16,924 --> 00:29:22,471
# Your feet start tappin' and you can't
seem to find how you got there #
482
00:29:22,554 --> 00:29:25,265
# Do you believe in magic ##
483
00:29:25,307 --> 00:29:30,312
# Scooby-dooby doo bah scoo-scooby-dooby
dooby-dooby doo bah #
484
00:29:30,395 --> 00:29:32,648
# Yeah, magic ##
485
00:29:32,731 --> 00:29:35,067
What was that?
486
00:29:35,108 --> 00:29:37,694
- Uh, sorry.
- No, it was good.
487
00:29:40,113 --> 00:29:43,575
Well, it, uh...
It came from the heart.
488
00:29:43,617 --> 00:29:47,579
Well, keep it coming.
All right, people, good work!
489
00:29:47,663 --> 00:29:50,332
Now, don't forget. The state
competition's a couple of weeks away,
490
00:29:50,374 --> 00:29:53,544
so keep on it, okay?
491
00:30:03,428 --> 00:30:06,098
Not bad, Chris.
492
00:30:06,181 --> 00:30:08,433
Really?
493
00:30:09,518 --> 00:30:11,854
Thanks, uh,
Heather, right?
494
00:30:11,937 --> 00:30:13,856
Yeah.
495
00:30:13,939 --> 00:30:16,441
So, you've got this sort of
Frank Sinatra thing going on.
496
00:30:16,525 --> 00:30:21,196
Right. I feel like I've
discovered this whole new side of me.
497
00:30:21,280 --> 00:30:23,782
I mean, uh,
music is so expressive.
498
00:30:23,824 --> 00:30:27,494
Okay.
I mean, I agree, but...
499
00:30:27,578 --> 00:30:30,622
aren't you supposed to be out,
like, trying to decapitate someone...
500
00:30:30,706 --> 00:30:34,710
- with your lacrosse stick or something?
- Oh, sure. Sure.
501
00:30:34,793 --> 00:30:36,879
You know, I know what
people think. It's like,
502
00:30:36,920 --> 00:30:40,007
"Oz, he's just this
kick-ass lacrosse player."
503
00:30:40,090 --> 00:30:42,759
You know, I also play football,
by the way, but that's, like,
504
00:30:42,843 --> 00:30:46,263
- that's not all that I am, you know?
- Of course, I didn't...
505
00:30:46,305 --> 00:30:50,267
I mean, it really bothers me when
people try to pigeonhole me like that.
506
00:30:50,350 --> 00:30:52,311
You?
507
00:30:52,394 --> 00:30:55,230
You think
I don't get that?
508
00:30:55,314 --> 00:30:58,692
God, it's like just because I don't
get drunk and barf every weekend...
509
00:30:58,734 --> 00:31:03,030
that people say, "Oh, look. There's
this Goody Two-Shoes choirgirl priss."
510
00:31:03,071 --> 00:31:07,409
Yeah. So, like,
what else do you do?
511
00:31:07,493 --> 00:31:10,829
Well,
the same things you do,
512
00:31:10,871 --> 00:31:13,874
like hang out
with friends and stuff.
513
00:31:13,916 --> 00:31:16,335
- Why? What do you think I do?
- Oh, I...
514
00:31:16,418 --> 00:31:19,421
I just realized that I don't
know anything about you.
515
00:31:19,505 --> 00:31:24,635
- I was interested.
- Oh, well, what do you want to know?
516
00:31:24,718 --> 00:31:27,596
You know,
stuff... about you.
517
00:31:30,098 --> 00:31:32,518
All right.
518
00:31:32,601 --> 00:31:37,105
Mom, I'm home!
519
00:32:33,245 --> 00:32:35,747
Oh, yeah. Oh!
520
00:32:39,001 --> 00:32:43,589
- Jim!
- It's not what it looks like.
521
00:32:50,053 --> 00:32:52,347
Well, we'll just tell your
mother that, uh... that, uh...
522
00:32:53,265 --> 00:32:55,726
we ate it all.
523
00:33:34,806 --> 00:33:37,184
Goal by number eight, Chris Ostreicher.
524
00:33:41,146 --> 00:33:43,148
- Nice game.
- Nice game. Good game.
525
00:33:47,027 --> 00:33:49,988
Hey, what are
you doin' here?
526
00:33:50,030 --> 00:33:53,492
Just enjoying my first exhilarating
lacrosse experience.
527
00:33:53,534 --> 00:33:56,119
- You kicked butt.
- Oh, thanks.
528
00:33:56,161 --> 00:33:59,164
- Um, Chris...
- Oh, you can call me Oz, if you want.
529
00:33:59,248 --> 00:34:01,625
- Do I have to?
- You can call me Ostreicher.
530
00:34:01,667 --> 00:34:03,836
- What's your middle name?
- Nah, forget it.
531
00:34:03,919 --> 00:34:07,464
- Come on. I won't tell anyone.
- Well, neither will I.
532
00:34:07,548 --> 00:34:11,176
Okay. Um.
533
00:34:11,260 --> 00:34:14,763
So, I had this thought and...
534
00:34:14,847 --> 00:34:17,099
It may seem like
it's way out of left field.
535
00:34:17,182 --> 00:34:21,770
I don't know if you can,
but since I'm not going with
anybody, I thought that maybe...
536
00:34:21,854 --> 00:34:24,523
Those guys sucked ass!
537
00:34:24,565 --> 00:34:26,775
Choir chick, what the hell
are you doing here?
538
00:34:26,859 --> 00:34:31,655
Well, uh, I was
asking Chris to prom.
539
00:34:31,738 --> 00:34:33,699
So, do you
want to go?
540
00:34:33,782 --> 00:34:37,244
Oh, yeah!
That would be great.
541
00:34:37,327 --> 00:34:40,581
Well, just don't
expect Oz to pay for the limo!
542
00:34:40,664 --> 00:34:43,709
Stifler, fuck!
I mean...
543
00:34:43,792 --> 00:34:48,297
Why do you got to be so
insensitive all the time?
544
00:34:48,338 --> 00:34:51,675
What?
545
00:34:51,758 --> 00:34:55,137
Whatever. Look, uh, don't forget.
My cottage after prom.
546
00:34:55,220 --> 00:34:57,639
On Lake Michigan.
547
00:34:57,723 --> 00:35:00,225
Hey, wait up, you pussies.
Where you goin'?
548
00:35:00,309 --> 00:35:05,647
Ah, well, I gotta...
I gotta hit the showers now,
549
00:35:05,731 --> 00:35:09,067
but I think this is gonna
be really, really good.
550
00:35:09,109 --> 00:35:13,071
- Yeah. Me too.
- All right.
551
00:35:13,113 --> 00:35:15,908
- Bye.
- Bye. Bye.
552
00:35:20,662 --> 00:35:24,833
- 'Appenin' Oz!
- Working with the choir chick?
553
00:35:24,917 --> 00:35:28,504
What d'ya say, fellas? I just dig
those cute little sweaters she wears.
554
00:35:28,587 --> 00:35:32,799
Nuts you do, you little horn dog.
555
00:35:32,883 --> 00:35:35,427
Yeah!
Yeah, baby!
556
00:35:35,511 --> 00:35:39,515
Spank me! Spank me!
Hit that high "C."
557
00:35:39,598 --> 00:35:41,558
# Ahhhh #
558
00:35:44,895 --> 00:35:47,105
Come on!
What's goin' on here?
559
00:35:52,027 --> 00:35:54,905
I was being selfish
and majorly insensitive.
560
00:35:54,988 --> 00:35:57,866
I'm a... I'm a total idiot.
I mean, a fool, a buffoon.
561
00:35:57,950 --> 00:36:00,452
I think shithead
really says it.
562
00:36:00,536 --> 00:36:02,788
You know what? You're right.
I'm a shithead, and
I want to make it up to you.
563
00:36:02,830 --> 00:36:04,998
You know what? You're right.
I'm a shithead, and
I want to make it up to you.
564
00:36:05,040 --> 00:36:06,583
Oh, yeah? How?
565
00:36:06,583 --> 00:36:08,085
Oh, yeah? How?
566
00:36:08,335 --> 00:36:11,129
# Don't make me #
567
00:36:11,171 --> 00:36:13,841
- # Over #
- Vicky. Your parents are downstairs.
568
00:36:13,924 --> 00:36:17,135
- Kevin, don't stop!
- Just a second.
569
00:36:17,219 --> 00:36:20,138
# I'm rockin' steady #
570
00:36:20,222 --> 00:36:23,058
# In demonology #
571
00:36:23,141 --> 00:36:28,397
# Hey so that you could make it #
572
00:36:31,108 --> 00:36:35,279
- # You're really makin' it ##
- Hon, can you tell Vic
to come on down for supper?
573
00:36:35,362 --> 00:36:41,201
- Holy shit!
- Shh. You know there's
no lock on your door?
574
00:36:46,707 --> 00:36:49,918
Ohh! I'm coming!
I'm coming!
575
00:36:54,298 --> 00:36:56,550
- Oh, Jim!
- Dad.
576
00:36:56,633 --> 00:36:59,928
Hi, I was just looking
at the old family portrait out here.
577
00:37:00,012 --> 00:37:02,681
Well, that was
a fun day wasn't it?
578
00:37:02,723 --> 00:37:05,184
- Oh, yeah.
- Yeah.
579
00:37:05,225 --> 00:37:09,521
Jim, I want to talk
about masturbation.
580
00:37:09,813 --> 00:37:14,067
Now, I just want you to know that
it's-it's a perfectly normal, uh, thing.
581
00:37:14,151 --> 00:37:16,278
And I have
to admit, uh, you know.
582
00:37:16,361 --> 00:37:20,824
I did a fair bit of masturbating
when I was a little younger.
583
00:37:20,908 --> 00:37:25,037
- I, uh... I used to call it
"stroking the salami."
584
00:37:25,120 --> 00:37:27,748
Yeah, you know,
"pounding the ol' pud."
585
00:37:27,789 --> 00:37:30,459
I never did it
with baked goods.
586
00:37:30,542 --> 00:37:35,047
But you know your Uncle Mort?
He "pinched the one-eyed snake"
five, six times a day.
587
00:37:35,130 --> 00:37:39,301
See, it's like, uh,
practice for the big game.
588
00:37:39,384 --> 00:37:42,513
You see?
It's like... It's like...
589
00:37:42,596 --> 00:37:45,474
banging a tennis ball
against a brick wall.
590
00:37:45,557 --> 00:37:49,520
Which can be fun.
It can be fun, but it's not a game.
591
00:37:49,561 --> 00:37:52,397
- Right. No.
- It's not a game.
592
00:37:52,481 --> 00:37:55,901
What you want is you want
a partner to return the ball.
593
00:37:55,984 --> 00:37:59,530
- Do you want a partner?
- Yeah. Yeah-Yeah, I want a partner.
594
00:37:59,613 --> 00:38:01,532
- You do want a partner?
- Oh, I want a partner.
595
00:38:01,573 --> 00:38:05,619
- Want a partner. Good. Good.
- Of course.
596
00:38:05,702 --> 00:38:07,579
Good.
597
00:38:07,663 --> 00:38:12,125
So, once Hal becomes king,
he has to take on...
598
00:38:12,209 --> 00:38:14,586
the responsibilities of leadership
and turn his back...
599
00:38:14,670 --> 00:38:16,964
on his old,
drunken friend, Falstaff.
600
00:38:17,005 --> 00:38:21,760
You see, Hal is going through a...
rite of passage, much like you all are.
601
00:38:21,844 --> 00:38:25,681
So make most of the time you've got
left together. You'll miss it later.
602
00:38:25,764 --> 00:38:28,392
So, does your tongue cramp up?
603
00:38:28,475 --> 00:38:32,563
Nah. You get kind of dizzy, though.
604
00:38:32,646 --> 00:38:36,525
That's amazing. She's probably
gonna want to do it soon.
605
00:38:37,818 --> 00:38:41,780
All right. Class dismissed.
606
00:38:44,241 --> 00:38:48,829
Still questing after the Holy Grail,
huh, guys?
607
00:38:52,249 --> 00:38:54,251
Hey, uh,
where's Finch?
608
00:38:54,334 --> 00:38:56,378
Oh, he went home to take a shit.
609
00:38:56,461 --> 00:38:58,422
I don't get it.
I just don't.
610
00:38:58,505 --> 00:39:01,341
How does a guy like that
get this sudden reputation?
611
00:39:01,383 --> 00:39:04,887
- What reputation?
- Observe.
612
00:39:04,928 --> 00:39:08,932
Ex-Excuse me.
Do you know who Paul Finch is?
613
00:39:09,016 --> 00:39:12,394
Yeah! He's the guy
with the tattoo, right?
614
00:39:12,436 --> 00:39:18,192
- You know, the eagle and the
blazing fire and that stuff.
615
00:39:18,275 --> 00:39:22,029
Well, um, if you guys see him later,
will you tell him Courtney says hi?
616
00:39:22,112 --> 00:39:24,531
Bye.
617
00:39:24,615 --> 00:39:28,619
Okay. Explain.
618
00:39:28,702 --> 00:39:31,663
I can't. I don't
know how he's doing it.
619
00:39:31,705 --> 00:39:35,000
I, uh... I guess that
just leaves Jim trailing.
620
00:39:35,083 --> 00:39:37,294
- Aw, Jimbo!
- Better sack up, buddy!
621
00:39:37,336 --> 00:39:39,463
Yeah, I know.
I'm working on it, all right?
622
00:39:39,546 --> 00:39:41,673
James?
623
00:39:41,757 --> 00:39:43,717
You are very good
in the world history class, yes?
624
00:39:43,800 --> 00:39:47,888
Me? Y-Yes. No, uh...
625
00:39:47,930 --> 00:39:51,433
- Yes, I am.
- Perhaps you could help
me with my studies.
626
00:39:51,475 --> 00:39:53,644
Uh, yeah. Absolutely.
627
00:39:53,727 --> 00:39:55,729
Tha-Tha-Tha... That would be...
That would be great sometime.
628
00:39:55,812 --> 00:40:00,400
- How about tomorrow?
- Well, I have ballet practice.
629
00:40:00,442 --> 00:40:03,612
Perhaps I could come
by your house afterwards?
630
00:40:03,695 --> 00:40:05,948
I could change
clothes at your place.
631
00:40:07,574 --> 00:40:11,328
Oh. Uh... yeah.
632
00:40:11,411 --> 00:40:15,374
I suppose that
would be okay. Sure.
633
00:40:21,088 --> 00:40:25,884
Nice car!
634
00:40:25,968 --> 00:40:28,387
- I'm glad you think so.
- You don't like it?
635
00:40:28,470 --> 00:40:31,807
No, I like the car.
By the way, though, about prom?
636
00:40:31,890 --> 00:40:34,893
That was a bad idea.
I'm sorry I invited you.
637
00:40:34,935 --> 00:40:37,980
- What are you talkin' about?
- Please.
638
00:40:38,021 --> 00:40:41,608
I asked you because I thought you might
actually be worth going with.
639
00:40:41,692 --> 00:40:45,320
But you are just a jock.
No, wait. You're a jerk.
640
00:40:45,404 --> 00:40:48,323
Wait!
I don't understand.
641
00:40:48,407 --> 00:40:51,743
I saw you making fun of me
with your lacrosse buddies.
642
00:40:51,827 --> 00:40:53,954
Heather, I wasn't
makin' fun of you.
643
00:40:54,037 --> 00:40:56,582
Gimme a break.
You're so full of it.
644
00:40:59,793 --> 00:41:04,882
Fuck me! There's gonna be an Eastern
European chick naked in your house.
645
00:41:04,965 --> 00:41:07,092
And you're not gonna
do anything about that?
646
00:41:07,176 --> 00:41:10,971
What am I gonna do, huh?
Broadcast her over the Internet?
647
00:41:11,054 --> 00:41:14,516
- Yeah.
- You can do that?
648
00:41:18,437 --> 00:41:22,107
No. I cannot do that to her.
649
00:41:22,191 --> 00:41:25,569
Jim, get some fuckin' balls.
650
00:41:25,652 --> 00:41:30,449
If you don't have the guts
to photograph a naked chick,
how you gonna sleep with one?
651
00:41:30,532 --> 00:41:33,202
I don't like the kid,
but he's got a point.
652
00:41:33,243 --> 00:41:36,497
See, even shit-brick
knows you should do it.
653
00:41:36,538 --> 00:41:40,083
All you gotta do is set up some sort of
private link or whatever on the 'Net...
654
00:41:40,167 --> 00:41:42,127
and tell me the address.
655
00:41:42,211 --> 00:41:45,005
You can send me
the address too.
656
00:41:45,088 --> 00:41:48,008
I'll save
you a seat.
657
00:41:48,091 --> 00:41:53,597
# How sweet it is
to be loved by you, by you #
658
00:41:53,680 --> 00:41:58,268
- # I needed the shelter
of someone's arms #
- # Someone's arms #
659
00:41:58,310 --> 00:42:02,147
- # There you were #
- # You were, oh #
660
00:42:02,231 --> 00:42:06,777
# I needed someone
who understands my ups and downs #
661
00:42:06,860 --> 00:42:08,904
# There you were ##
662
00:42:08,987 --> 00:42:13,325
Okay, that was good, but
I want to thicken-up that solo.
663
00:42:13,408 --> 00:42:15,661
Michigan State is this Saturday,
and I want that part to smoke.
664
00:42:15,744 --> 00:42:17,996
Yeah, I know,
my timing's off.
665
00:42:18,080 --> 00:42:21,750
No, it's not that. I think it'll
work better as a duet with a tenor part.
666
00:42:21,834 --> 00:42:23,794
I'll do it.
667
00:42:25,128 --> 00:42:27,506
- Dick.
- I'll do it.
668
00:42:27,589 --> 00:42:29,842
Great.
See you tomorrow.
669
00:42:31,510 --> 00:42:33,929
Hmph.
670
00:42:36,682 --> 00:42:39,852
- Why are you doing this?
- 'Cause I want to.
671
00:42:39,935 --> 00:42:43,313
Yeah? Well,
you can't fake this.
672
00:42:43,355 --> 00:42:46,483
You better practice.
673
00:42:56,785 --> 00:42:58,871
Come in.
674
00:43:00,581 --> 00:43:05,169
Jim? There's a, uh...
a young lady here to see you.
675
00:43:05,252 --> 00:43:07,504
- Hey, Nadia.
- Hi, James. Ready to study?
676
00:43:07,588 --> 00:43:10,299
Oh, he's always ready to study.
He's a real bookworm, this kid.
677
00:43:10,382 --> 00:43:13,886
- Dad.
- That means... He's not-not
one of those nerdy guys but...
678
00:43:13,969 --> 00:43:18,807
- Dad!
- Well, I'Il... I'll let
you two hit the books.
679
00:43:22,936 --> 00:43:25,981
You want a beer?
680
00:43:26,064 --> 00:43:29,860
- Oh, there we go.
- Come on, move!
681
00:43:29,902 --> 00:43:33,989
Steve! It's my computer!
And I wanna use it!
682
00:43:34,072 --> 00:43:36,033
Shut up!
683
00:43:36,116 --> 00:43:38,827
Oh, you need to...
You need to change, right?
684
00:43:38,911 --> 00:43:41,538
- Uhh, do you mind?
- No. N-No, not at all.
685
00:43:41,580 --> 00:43:45,459
Uh, please, you know.
Just go ahead and get un... get changed.
686
00:43:45,542 --> 00:43:48,921
I'll, uh... I'll
go downstairs and start studying up.
687
00:43:49,004 --> 00:43:50,839
- Yeah.
- Okay.
688
00:43:50,881 --> 00:43:53,634
- Oh...
- All right, there he goes.
689
00:43:53,717 --> 00:43:54,927
Now,
we're in business.
690
00:43:54,968 --> 00:43:56,178
Now,
we're in business.
691
00:43:58,263 --> 00:44:00,474
- Back in a sec.
- Jimmy, honey, wh...
692
00:44:11,985 --> 00:44:17,032
# He pauses shaving and he tells himself
that he is the bomb #
693
00:44:17,115 --> 00:44:21,537
# She has her curlers set, her credit
cards are paying the funds #
694
00:44:21,620 --> 00:44:25,082
- # He's not that old I've been told ##
- Ah, here she is.
695
00:44:26,792 --> 00:44:30,420
- Did I miss anything?
- No. You are just in time.
696
00:44:30,462 --> 00:44:33,924
- Oh. Ohh!
- This is incredible.
697
00:44:33,966 --> 00:44:36,718
Oh, my God!
This is too much.
698
00:44:36,760 --> 00:44:39,763
Oh, did you see?
Oh, there that goes. Oh, geez.
699
00:44:39,847 --> 00:44:42,224
God bless
the Internet.
700
00:44:42,266 --> 00:44:45,310
- Ai-yi-yi.
- Do it. Take it off.
701
00:44:45,394 --> 00:44:47,729
Oh, my God.
702
00:44:47,813 --> 00:44:50,524
Oh, thank you, God,
for this wonderful, wonderful day.
703
00:44:50,607 --> 00:44:54,862
- She takes her vitamins.
- # And it is way too unhealthy #
704
00:44:54,903 --> 00:44:57,197
# Often they've typically ##
705
00:44:57,281 --> 00:44:59,199
Stop hyperventilating.
706
00:45:04,246 --> 00:45:08,917
This is, like,
the coolest thing I've ever seen.
707
00:45:09,001 --> 00:45:12,337
I know.
708
00:45:12,379 --> 00:45:15,090
Can you believe... This is definitely
one of Stifler's best ideas ever.
709
00:45:16,675 --> 00:45:18,760
What is she...
She's touching my stuff.
710
00:45:18,844 --> 00:45:21,471
- Why is she touching my stuff?
- Man, let her touch.
711
00:45:21,555 --> 00:45:24,725
- She's going through my stuff!
- Nadia can touch anything she wants.
712
00:45:31,023 --> 00:45:34,234
- Oh.
- Oh, no. Oh, no.
713
00:45:34,318 --> 00:45:36,778
- No, no.
- Oh, nice collection there, Jim.
714
00:45:36,820 --> 00:45:39,490
She's gonna leave.
She's definitely gonna...
715
00:45:39,573 --> 00:45:42,242
She's getting comfortable.
She's not gonna leave.
716
00:45:42,284 --> 00:45:44,995
She reads
the articles.
717
00:45:57,925 --> 00:46:00,219
Is she?
718
00:46:00,260 --> 00:46:04,348
She's goin' downstairs.
719
00:46:13,023 --> 00:46:17,319
- Oh, my God!
- Jackpot, baby!
720
00:46:17,361 --> 00:46:20,656
- Can you believe this?
- Nadia, I would have never known.
721
00:46:20,739 --> 00:46:23,534
I have an announcement
that I would like to make.
722
00:46:23,617 --> 00:46:27,496
There is a gorgeous woman...
masturbating on my bed!
723
00:46:27,538 --> 00:46:32,960
- Thank you, Nadia!
- If you ever had a chance
with Nadia, this is it.
724
00:46:33,043 --> 00:46:37,589
- What am I
supposed to do, Kev?
- Seduce her.
725
00:46:37,631 --> 00:46:40,759
Wha... What the hell
would I say?
726
00:46:40,843 --> 00:46:44,221
Go over there and ask her
if she needs an extra hand.
727
00:46:44,304 --> 00:46:48,225
- That's stupid, Kev. I can't...
- That's not stupid! You're
stupid if you don't go!
728
00:46:48,308 --> 00:46:50,269
Come on!
Get over there!
729
00:46:50,310 --> 00:46:52,604
- Get goin', man. She's prime.
- Get out of here!
730
00:46:52,646 --> 00:46:55,983
- She's waitin' for you.
- Okay, all right. I'm goin'.
731
00:46:56,066 --> 00:46:58,068
- Go!
- Go!
- I'm goin'!
732
00:46:58,152 --> 00:47:00,070
- Go! Go! Go! Go!
- Oh, shit.
733
00:47:08,954 --> 00:47:12,624
# She's open
waiting for more #
734
00:47:12,708 --> 00:47:17,171
# And I know he's only
lookin' to score #
735
00:47:20,007 --> 00:47:21,925
- # Often they've typically #
- Hey, Mom. Hey, Dad.
736
00:47:22,009 --> 00:47:25,637
# Been starved
for attention before ##
737
00:47:28,015 --> 00:47:30,809
Oh, boy. Oh, God.
Oh, crap. Oh, no.
738
00:47:30,893 --> 00:47:34,229
Hello?
739
00:47:34,313 --> 00:47:38,025
- Looks like Jim addressed
the e-mail wrong.
- What?
740
00:47:38,108 --> 00:47:41,361
It went out to every mailbox
in the East High directory.
741
00:47:41,445 --> 00:47:43,447
God, how juvenile.
742
00:47:43,530 --> 00:47:45,449
Hey, hey, hey, guys!
743
00:47:45,532 --> 00:47:50,037
- # Baby #
- Check this out! Oh, my God!
744
00:47:52,498 --> 00:47:54,625
Oh.
745
00:47:55,125 --> 00:47:59,922
Please, God,
let this be it.
746
00:47:59,963 --> 00:48:02,007
Please?
747
00:48:05,969 --> 00:48:10,641
S- Somebody's goin' in there.
748
00:48:12,100 --> 00:48:14,394
Here you go.
That's what you need to do.
749
00:48:14,478 --> 00:48:16,563
- That guy's in my trig class.
- Oh, no.
750
00:48:19,149 --> 00:48:22,653
- Looks like you could use an extra hand.
- Jim!
751
00:48:22,736 --> 00:48:25,614
- Well... Oh, God.
- Shame on you.
752
00:48:25,697 --> 00:48:27,908
Yeah, shame on me.
I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry.
753
00:48:27,950 --> 00:48:30,410
- Uh, you know, I'm just gonna go.
- Well,
754
00:48:30,452 --> 00:48:33,789
you have seen me.
755
00:48:33,872 --> 00:48:36,959
Now, it's
my turn to see you.
756
00:48:38,502 --> 00:48:41,547
Strip!
757
00:48:41,547 --> 00:48:44,007
- Strip?
- Slowly.
758
00:48:44,049 --> 00:48:48,220
Uh, you mean,
like, strip strip?
759
00:48:48,303 --> 00:48:51,431
For me.
760
00:48:51,515 --> 00:48:53,642
What is he
talkin' to her about?
761
00:48:53,684 --> 00:48:58,605
- Uh, no idea.
- Come on, Jim. People are
viewing. Get to business.
762
00:49:01,859 --> 00:49:04,361
Perfect!
763
00:49:04,444 --> 00:49:07,906
- Move, James! Move!
- Yeah, yeah. Move.
764
00:49:15,956 --> 00:49:18,584
Go, trig boy! It's yer birthday!
765
00:49:29,720 --> 00:49:31,263
- No! No. No.
- Please, God.
766
00:49:31,346 --> 00:49:33,724
What's going on?
767
00:49:38,604 --> 00:49:41,732
- Yes!
- All right. Get in the mix!
768
00:49:41,815 --> 00:49:44,067
- See there.
- Oh, okay.
769
00:49:45,777 --> 00:49:51,241
- This is disgusting.
- What the fuck is this?
770
00:49:52,576 --> 00:49:54,870
Cut it out, man!
771
00:49:59,583 --> 00:50:01,668
Yeah.
772
00:50:13,514 --> 00:50:15,807
Freak.
773
00:50:20,020 --> 00:50:22,189
Did not just
take out that chair.
774
00:50:22,272 --> 00:50:26,235
- Yup, he took out the chair.
- More, more, you bad boy!
775
00:50:26,360 --> 00:50:30,405
Oh, yeah, I'm naughty. I'm naughty,
baby. Hyah!
776
00:50:30,489 --> 00:50:33,909
Ohh, God!
777
00:50:33,992 --> 00:50:37,120
# Calling your name #
778
00:50:37,204 --> 00:50:40,249
- # Calling your name #
- Now,
779
00:50:40,290 --> 00:50:42,709
come to me.
780
00:50:42,751 --> 00:50:45,379
Oh, yeah.
781
00:50:52,261 --> 00:50:54,304
- Here we go.
- He's in, man.
782
00:50:54,388 --> 00:50:56,223
- # Calling #
- This just got a hell of a lot better.
783
00:50:56,265 --> 00:51:00,310
- Be gentle.
- Okay.
784
00:51:02,020 --> 00:51:04,565
- # Calling your name #
- Uh...
785
00:51:04,648 --> 00:51:06,859
- # Calling #
- Oh.
786
00:51:06,942 --> 00:51:09,444
# Your name ##
787
00:51:09,528 --> 00:51:11,363
Jim?
788
00:51:11,446 --> 00:51:16,160
- Oh! Oh, no.
- Oh, no.
789
00:51:16,201 --> 00:51:19,329
- Oh. Ohh!
- Liftoff aborted.
790
00:51:19,413 --> 00:51:22,374
Houston, we have a problem.
791
00:51:22,457 --> 00:51:25,836
What happened? What did he do
792
00:51:25,919 --> 00:51:27,880
He blew it.
793
00:51:27,963 --> 00:51:30,382
I guess
I'll be going now.
794
00:51:30,465 --> 00:51:36,013
No, no, no, I'm... I'm not done, Nadia.
I've, uh... I've got reserves.
795
00:51:36,096 --> 00:51:38,849
Nadia, please, please.
I'm begging you.
796
00:51:38,932 --> 00:51:41,768
Well, I do like
your dirty magazines.
797
00:51:41,810 --> 00:51:47,149
You do? Okay. Well. Um.
Did-Did... Did you see this one?
798
00:51:47,232 --> 00:51:51,862
This here is your... is your more,
uh, exotic, risque magazine.
799
00:51:51,945 --> 00:51:53,947
- He's pullin' out the porn.
- He's desperate.
800
00:51:54,031 --> 00:51:55,949
Jim, just wait
till she leaves.
801
00:51:56,033 --> 00:51:58,660
Very arousing women.
They arouse me...
802
00:51:58,744 --> 00:52:00,704
They arouse me
very, very much.
803
00:52:00,746 --> 00:52:04,666
But, uh...
But not as arousing as you.
804
00:52:04,750 --> 00:52:08,712
- Oh, Jim!
- Oh, God!
805
00:52:13,217 --> 00:52:16,720
Yes!
806
00:52:16,803 --> 00:52:18,931
He's ruining daisy!
Whoo!
807
00:52:21,558 --> 00:52:26,063
So, uh, "shaved"
is the expression?
808
00:52:29,149 --> 00:52:31,068
Holy shit.
809
00:52:31,151 --> 00:52:34,321
- Holy shit!
- Holy shit!
810
00:52:34,404 --> 00:52:37,074
- H-H-Holy shit!
- Touch me, Jim.
811
00:52:39,535 --> 00:52:41,620
Here.
812
00:52:41,703 --> 00:52:45,123
Oh. Oh.
813
00:52:45,207 --> 00:52:47,626
- Again?
- Not again.
814
00:52:47,709 --> 00:52:50,963
- Not again, man!
- Is that possible?
815
00:52:51,004 --> 00:52:52,256
What a loser.
816
00:52:52,297 --> 00:52:53,507
What a loser.
817
00:52:57,135 --> 00:52:58,595
Hey!
818
00:53:19,783 --> 00:53:24,496
# I needed someone
to understand my ups and downs #
819
00:53:24,538 --> 00:53:27,749
# There you were #
820
00:53:27,833 --> 00:53:32,671
# With sweet love
and devotion #
821
00:53:32,713 --> 00:53:35,257
# Deeply touching
my emotion #
822
00:53:35,340 --> 00:53:39,928
# I just wanna stop
and thank you, baby ##
823
00:53:42,139 --> 00:53:44,558
- Hey, minute man!
- Shut up.
824
00:53:44,641 --> 00:53:46,560
You know... You know you're
supposed to be supportive.
825
00:53:46,643 --> 00:53:50,939
Hey, you think you still
got a chance with Nadia?
826
00:53:50,981 --> 00:53:54,151
No. Her sponsors here
saw the thing on the 'Net.
827
00:53:54,234 --> 00:53:56,153
I-I really don't
think they liked it.
828
00:53:56,236 --> 00:53:58,405
How do
you know that?
829
00:53:58,447 --> 00:54:00,532
She's already on a plane back home.
830
00:54:00,616 --> 00:54:02,576
Yeah.
831
00:54:02,659 --> 00:54:06,413
You know, guys? Maybe I'm just
not good with girls, period.
832
00:54:06,497 --> 00:54:10,042
No-no-no, really-really. Like... Like I
was born without that part of the brain.
833
00:54:10,083 --> 00:54:12,252
I mean, I can't
talk to girls.
834
00:54:12,336 --> 00:54:14,379
And when I do talk
to them, I screw it up.
835
00:54:14,463 --> 00:54:17,549
Yeah, well, come prom those excuses
aren't going to do you any good.
836
00:54:19,092 --> 00:54:23,013
And one time at band camp,
837
00:54:23,096 --> 00:54:25,307
we weren't supposed
to have pillow fights,
838
00:54:25,390 --> 00:54:28,435
but we had a pillow fight,
and it was so much fun.
839
00:54:28,519 --> 00:54:33,482
A- And this one time, we all
lost our music and we were
supposed to play this song,
840
00:54:33,565 --> 00:54:38,821
but we didn't know it, so we just made
it up and we kept playing and playing,
841
00:54:38,904 --> 00:54:42,866
and the conductor didn't know
what we were doing, and it was so funny.
842
00:54:42,950 --> 00:54:45,369
So, you're pissed about somethin', huh.
843
00:54:45,452 --> 00:54:47,371
You know what
I do when I'm angry?
844
00:54:47,454 --> 00:54:50,624
I just play some Bach on my flute.
It's so relaxing.
845
00:54:50,666 --> 00:54:53,877
- I learned to do that at band camp.
- Hold on, uh...
846
00:54:53,961 --> 00:54:57,297
You have no idea
why I'm angry?
847
00:54:57,381 --> 00:55:00,592
Is it because we have a test tomorrow?
Sometimes I get cranky...
848
00:55:00,676 --> 00:55:03,929
- when I know I have
a big test to study for.
849
00:55:03,971 --> 00:55:08,308
- Yeah. Yeah, that's pretty much it.
- I thought so...
850
00:55:08,392 --> 00:55:11,103
- because this one time at band camp...
- W-What's your name?
851
00:55:11,145 --> 00:55:13,021
- Michelle.
- O-Okay.
852
00:55:13,105 --> 00:55:15,065
Michelle, um...
853
00:55:15,149 --> 00:55:17,943
Do you want to be
my date for the prom?
854
00:55:18,026 --> 00:55:21,405
Really? You seriously
want to go with me?
855
00:55:24,992 --> 00:55:28,120
Yes. Seriously.
856
00:55:28,203 --> 00:55:31,790
Are we going to Steve Stifler's
party afterwards?
Because that would be so cool.
857
00:55:31,874 --> 00:55:37,212
- Sure, whatever you want.
- Cool! We're gonna have
such a good time.
858
00:55:37,254 --> 00:55:42,426
It'll be like this one time at band camp
when we all had a campfire...
859
00:55:57,191 --> 00:56:00,277
Hi.
860
00:56:00,360 --> 00:56:03,947
- How'd you know I was here?
- Stifler told me.
861
00:56:04,031 --> 00:56:07,451
- Talked to Stifler?
- Well, I needed to find you.
862
00:56:07,493 --> 00:56:09,620
We're gonna have
to work on that song.
863
00:56:10,829 --> 00:56:13,790
Okay.
I'm glad you came by.
864
00:56:13,832 --> 00:56:16,084
So you work nights?
865
00:56:18,378 --> 00:56:21,215
- My dad's the manager.
- Really?
866
00:56:21,256 --> 00:56:24,343
Cool. Tell him
the subs are great.
867
00:56:26,428 --> 00:56:29,306
- So you're going to Michigan next year?
- Yeah.
868
00:56:29,389 --> 00:56:32,142
My parents want me to go
to Northwestern, but...
869
00:56:32,226 --> 00:56:35,103
I don't wanna write all those
extra essays they make you do.
870
00:56:35,145 --> 00:56:40,943
I mean, how am I supposed to
know what my "most emotionally
significant moment" was?
871
00:56:41,026 --> 00:56:45,572
So when my "U" of "M" acceptance came
in
December, I just said the hell with it.
872
00:56:45,656 --> 00:56:47,658
- Onions?
- What?
873
00:56:47,741 --> 00:56:50,285
You, uh, want onions?
874
00:56:50,369 --> 00:56:52,287
Oh, no, thank you.
875
00:56:55,040 --> 00:56:57,668
So what are you
gonna major in?
876
00:56:57,709 --> 00:57:01,797
State's got a good business
school, and I could probably
walk-on to the lacrosse team.
877
00:57:01,839 --> 00:57:05,759
Well, you've probably got it
pretty figured out, then, huh?
878
00:57:05,843 --> 00:57:09,429
I mean, business is okay,
and lacrosse is awesome, but...
879
00:57:09,513 --> 00:57:12,599
what am I gonna be,
a professional lacrosse player?
880
00:57:12,683 --> 00:57:14,643
I really have no idea.
881
00:57:14,685 --> 00:57:18,063
Thank God.
I thought I was the only one.
882
00:57:18,147 --> 00:57:20,065
Well, you're not.
883
00:57:21,525 --> 00:57:23,569
So we're gonna be
close next year.
884
00:57:31,535 --> 00:57:33,453
You mean East Lansing
and Ann Arbor?
885
00:57:33,537 --> 00:57:36,874
Yeah.
886
00:57:36,957 --> 00:57:38,876
What are you
talkin' about?
887
00:57:38,917 --> 00:57:42,963
I can't go to the prom with you.
I'm holding out for someone else.
888
00:57:43,046 --> 00:57:45,215
You gotta be fuckin' kidding me.
889
00:57:45,299 --> 00:57:49,678
I know it's a long shot, but I figure
Paul Finch might ask me.
890
00:57:49,720 --> 00:57:53,765
Finch.
Shit-brick.
891
00:57:53,849 --> 00:57:56,518
Oh, gosh.
I-I forgot.
892
00:57:56,602 --> 00:57:59,021
You look okay.
893
00:57:59,104 --> 00:58:02,608
I-I mean, the scars
healed really well.
894
00:58:02,691 --> 00:58:04,610
- Hey, Stifler.
- Eat shit.
895
00:58:07,446 --> 00:58:09,406
What was that
all about?
896
00:58:09,490 --> 00:58:13,869
- He's still embarrassed
because Finch kicked his ass.
- Who told you that?
897
00:58:13,952 --> 00:58:16,121
What do you mean,
"no comment"?
898
00:58:16,163 --> 00:58:19,249
- Did you two hook up or something?
- What, are you kidding? No.
899
00:58:19,333 --> 00:58:22,878
Then how did all this
get started?
900
00:58:22,961 --> 00:58:26,173
Well, I guess it's all right
for me to tell you now.
901
00:58:26,256 --> 00:58:29,426
That reputation of his isn't
going anywhere. Cheese, please.
902
00:58:29,510 --> 00:58:32,471
Finch comes up to me
and says, "Jessica,
903
00:58:32,554 --> 00:58:35,182
I need your help with this,
blah, blah, etcetera."
904
00:58:35,265 --> 00:58:37,601
So I said, "All right.
Pay me 200 bucks,
905
00:58:37,684 --> 00:58:40,562
and I'll tell a couple of girls
that you're dynamite in bed."
906
00:58:40,604 --> 00:58:43,398
So he did,
and I did.
907
00:58:43,440 --> 00:58:45,526
- That actually works?
- Well, duh! Of course.
908
00:58:45,609 --> 00:58:48,153
Naturally, I embellished
a little bit.
909
00:58:48,195 --> 00:58:50,697
Did you hear that Finch had
an affair with an older woman?
910
00:58:50,781 --> 00:58:52,741
No, I didn't hear that one.
911
00:58:52,783 --> 00:58:55,369
That one was my favorite.
912
00:58:55,452 --> 00:58:57,454
Do that cheerleader.
913
00:58:57,538 --> 00:59:01,041
- # Thank you, baby #
- She wants me. She calls me up...
914
00:59:01,124 --> 00:59:05,587
# How sweet it is
to be loved by you ##
915
00:59:05,671 --> 00:59:08,799
Oh, my God,
you're gay!
916
00:59:08,882 --> 00:59:10,801
Sing it with me.
You know the words.
917
00:59:10,884 --> 00:59:14,096
No, thanks, man. You've been
singin' that shit all week.
918
00:59:14,179 --> 00:59:17,850
If you try that at M.S.U.
This Saturday, I'll kick your ass.
919
00:59:17,933 --> 00:59:19,935
Our last game
is this Saturday.
920
00:59:20,018 --> 00:59:22,146
Yeah, well, shit.
921
00:59:25,065 --> 00:59:29,111
I've got this lacrosse game. It's
really important. It's our last game.
922
00:59:29,194 --> 00:59:32,948
Central almost beat us last time, so
this time I really wanna kick their ass.
923
00:59:33,073 --> 00:59:35,784
But it's gonna be cool,
because the game's at State,
924
00:59:35,868 --> 00:59:38,453
which means afterwards
I'll be able to stop by.
925
00:59:38,495 --> 00:59:40,497
So you can't sing
at the competition.
926
00:59:40,581 --> 00:59:43,292
Heather, I'm sorry.
I totally blew it.
927
00:59:43,375 --> 00:59:48,088
It's okay. You should...
do what makes you happy.
928
00:59:49,715 --> 00:59:53,427
All right. Listen,
thanks for understanding.
929
00:59:53,510 --> 00:59:56,013
Yeah.
930
00:59:56,054 --> 00:59:59,099
So, uh, I guess
I'll see you later?
931
01:00:13,864 --> 01:00:17,034
Hey, Kevin.
932
01:00:17,117 --> 01:00:22,164
- You seen shit-brick lately?
- Why? What did you do to him?
933
01:00:22,206 --> 01:00:24,333
Me? Nothing.
934
01:00:24,374 --> 01:00:26,668
See, I'm the one
whose ass he kicked.
935
01:00:26,752 --> 01:00:30,214
But, uh, I'll tell you
one thing, though.
936
01:00:30,297 --> 01:00:33,509
I don't think he's gonna have a problem
shitting in school anymore.
937
01:00:33,592 --> 01:00:35,594
Slipped a little something
into his mochaccino.
938
01:00:38,055 --> 01:00:40,724
Oh, God!
939
01:00:41,809 --> 01:00:43,936
Oh! Oh!
940
01:00:50,150 --> 01:00:52,444
Jesus.
941
01:00:52,486 --> 01:00:55,030
Right this way,
sir.
942
01:01:00,452 --> 01:01:04,373
Oh, God.
943
01:01:32,192 --> 01:01:35,154
Oh, no.
944
01:01:35,529 --> 01:01:37,698
It's gonna be fun.
945
01:01:37,781 --> 01:01:40,325
You know it's just gonna be
some crappy band and stupid decorations.
946
01:01:40,409 --> 01:01:44,037
You're just saying
that because prom's a week away
and you don't have a date.
947
01:01:44,121 --> 01:01:46,582
No, no, no.
I don't want a date.
948
01:01:46,665 --> 01:01:51,170
Finch is goin' stag and... so am I.
949
01:01:51,253 --> 01:01:54,506
God, he's like so...
refined.
950
01:01:54,590 --> 01:01:57,759
- You think that
older woman thing is true?
951
01:01:57,801 --> 01:02:01,138
Yeah, it's true.
It was Stifler's mom.
952
01:02:03,182 --> 01:02:06,518
Joanie, was that you?
953
01:02:06,602 --> 01:02:08,896
- Oh!
- Can't hold it.
954
01:02:08,937 --> 01:02:11,982
Oh!
955
01:02:15,944 --> 01:02:18,030
Eww!
956
01:02:40,719 --> 01:02:44,973
Yeah!
957
01:02:45,057 --> 01:02:48,018
Kev?
I think we've come...
958
01:02:48,060 --> 01:02:51,647
- a really long way since homecoming.
- Yeah, we have.
959
01:02:51,730 --> 01:02:53,649
Maybe it's time...
960
01:02:53,732 --> 01:02:57,694
we start to express ourselves
in new ways.
961
01:02:57,778 --> 01:03:00,030
- Yeah.
- You wanna do it?
962
01:03:00,113 --> 01:03:02,908
- Yeah.
- I love you.
963
01:03:04,618 --> 01:03:07,246
It's your turn.
964
01:03:08,288 --> 01:03:10,749
That's not
what I was thinking.
965
01:03:10,791 --> 01:03:14,878
Sex. It's always
about sex.
966
01:03:14,920 --> 01:03:18,048
It's not
always about sex.
967
01:03:18,090 --> 01:03:21,218
I just thought it was
about sex this time.
968
01:03:24,596 --> 01:03:28,934
Look, Vicky, love is a term
that gets thrown around,
969
01:03:28,976 --> 01:03:30,936
and-and people
don't mean it.
970
01:03:31,019 --> 01:03:34,231
When I say it, I want it
to be more than words.
971
01:03:34,273 --> 01:03:37,025
- You know? I want it to be...
- Perfect.
972
01:03:39,111 --> 01:03:41,071
Exactly.
973
01:03:41,238 --> 01:03:43,949
- Okay, Albert.
You ready?
- No problemo.
974
01:03:45,284 --> 01:03:49,121
# I close my eyes
at night #
975
01:03:49,204 --> 01:03:51,498
Come on, Heather.
Work with me here.
976
01:03:57,004 --> 01:03:59,798
Goal, Ostreicher!
977
01:03:59,840 --> 01:04:03,552
- All right, Oz!
- Atta boy, Ozzie!
978
01:04:03,635 --> 01:04:05,554
Whoo!
Yeah, baby!
979
01:04:05,679 --> 01:04:08,307
- We're crushing you losers!
- Let's go, fellas!
980
01:04:08,348 --> 01:04:10,392
Come on!
Whoo-hoo!
981
01:04:12,186 --> 01:04:16,648
# Bumblebee, bumblebee,
bumblebee, bumblebee, bumblebee #
982
01:04:16,732 --> 01:04:18,775
Focus on the music.
Think melody.
983
01:04:18,817 --> 01:04:21,904
- Let the music be my guide.
- That would be a start.
984
01:04:32,789 --> 01:04:34,583
Who's the man?
Stifler!
985
01:04:37,920 --> 01:04:40,005
Huddle up, guys! Huddle up!
986
01:04:48,055 --> 01:04:51,558
Huddle up!
Come on! Okay.
987
01:04:51,600 --> 01:04:53,519
All right, all right!
988
01:04:53,560 --> 01:04:55,813
- Good hustle, guys.
- Good hustle.
989
01:04:55,896 --> 01:05:00,859
But you can still lose. You all saw
what happened to Oz out there.
990
01:05:00,943 --> 01:05:06,156
I don't want to ever see any of you
thinking you're gonna score.
991
01:05:06,198 --> 01:05:09,409
You don't score
until you score.
992
01:05:09,493 --> 01:05:11,954
- Until you score.
- That's right, baby!
993
01:05:12,037 --> 01:05:14,331
It all boils down
to today.
994
01:05:14,414 --> 01:05:18,293
For you seniors,
this marks the culmination...
995
01:05:18,335 --> 01:05:21,380
- of the past four years.
- Culmination.
996
01:05:21,463 --> 01:05:26,093
I want you to think about
what this means to you.
997
01:05:26,134 --> 01:05:29,263
Do you guys wanna look back
on your days at East...
998
01:05:29,346 --> 01:05:33,016
and know that you used
the time you had?
999
01:05:33,100 --> 01:05:35,769
- Hell, yeah!
- You do!
1000
01:05:37,729 --> 01:05:41,108
- Ah! Good attitude, Ostreicher.
- Good luck, fellas.
1001
01:05:41,150 --> 01:05:44,653
Christ, I didn't tell ya
to leave the game.
1002
01:05:44,736 --> 01:05:46,697
I'm sorry, Coach.
1003
01:05:46,780 --> 01:05:49,741
You got someplace more important
to be, Ostreicher?
1004
01:05:49,825 --> 01:05:52,077
Yeah.
1005
01:05:52,161 --> 01:05:54,329
Ostreicher!
1006
01:05:55,247 --> 01:05:58,834
Oz?
Fuckface?
1007
01:05:58,876 --> 01:06:01,545
Ostreicher!
1008
01:06:26,862 --> 01:06:29,448
- Hey, Oz!
- Ozmeister!
1009
01:06:29,490 --> 01:06:31,492
- Oh, great.
- What about the game?
1010
01:06:31,533 --> 01:06:34,620
- I'm not playing.
- You're missing the game for us?
1011
01:06:34,703 --> 01:06:37,915
No, I'm missing the game
for you.
1012
01:06:41,293 --> 01:06:45,047
- D-Does this mean I'm not
gonna get to do the duet?
- Albert, you suck.
1013
01:06:50,219 --> 01:06:52,137
I don't think
he's comin' back.
1014
01:06:52,221 --> 01:06:54,389
# Close my eyes at night #
1015
01:06:54,431 --> 01:06:59,311
- # Close my eyes #
- # Wonderin' where would I be
without you in my life #
1016
01:06:59,394 --> 01:07:03,148
- # Oh #
- # Everything I did was just a bore #
1017
01:07:03,232 --> 01:07:08,195
- # Just a bore #
- # Everywhere I went
seems I been there before #
1018
01:07:08,237 --> 01:07:12,491
# But you brighten up
for me all of my days #
1019
01:07:12,574 --> 01:07:15,828
- # With a love so sweet #
- # In so many ways #
1020
01:07:15,869 --> 01:07:18,121
# I just wanna stop #
1021
01:07:18,205 --> 01:07:22,793
- # And thank you, baby #
- # I just wanna stop #
1022
01:07:22,876 --> 01:07:26,129
- # And thank you, baby #
- # Thank you, baby #
1023
01:07:26,171 --> 01:07:30,801
# How sweet it is
to be loved by you ##
1024
01:07:34,012 --> 01:07:36,306
Yeah, Oz!
You fuckin' rule!
1025
01:07:36,390 --> 01:07:39,017
- Fuckin' rule!
- Yeah!
1026
01:07:41,603 --> 01:07:43,897
Maybe the words
aren't that important.
1027
01:07:43,981 --> 01:07:46,191
It's like, I know he
really cares about me, you know?
1028
01:07:46,275 --> 01:07:48,360
Even if he can't
say it, he does.
1029
01:07:48,443 --> 01:07:52,364
And yeah, he always talks about sex, but
that's okay, 'cause he's a guy, right?
1030
01:07:52,447 --> 01:07:55,075
- He's got a dick. He's a guy.
- Right.
1031
01:07:55,117 --> 01:07:57,077
Wait. Is this
translation right?
1032
01:07:57,119 --> 01:08:00,122
"Go home, bird teacher.
I've had enough."
1033
01:08:00,164 --> 01:08:03,125
I don't know.
I got it from Kevin.
1034
01:08:03,208 --> 01:08:06,753
- So, does it hurt?
- What?
1035
01:08:06,837 --> 01:08:09,548
You know... sex.
Does it hurt?
1036
01:08:09,590 --> 01:08:14,011
Yeah. I mean, the first time you do it,
you know, it hurts.
1037
01:08:14,052 --> 01:08:18,223
But then you, you do it again
and again and again...
1038
01:08:18,307 --> 01:08:21,518
It just starts to feel good.
Really good.
1039
01:08:21,602 --> 01:08:24,646
Okay, so say
I don't do it.
1040
01:08:24,688 --> 01:08:29,485
And then I go off to college. I might
end up doing it with some random guy...
1041
01:08:29,526 --> 01:08:33,280
- who totally turns out to be a jerk.
- This is true.
1042
01:08:33,322 --> 01:08:36,033
And I'll wish I would've
done it with Kevin.
1043
01:08:36,116 --> 01:08:38,368
So go do it with Kevin.
1044
01:08:38,452 --> 01:08:41,538
- You think?
- Yeah. You're... You're ready.
1045
01:08:41,622 --> 01:08:45,959
- You're woman. Look at you.
You're ready for sex.
- You're right.
1046
01:08:46,001 --> 01:08:48,420
- I know.
- I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna have sex.
1047
01:08:48,504 --> 01:08:51,131
- Now.
- And it's gonna be right, and
it's gonna be just perfect.
1048
01:08:51,173 --> 01:08:53,300
- Perfect sex.
- Thanks, Jessica.
1049
01:08:53,467 --> 01:08:55,886
Please.
1050
01:08:55,969 --> 01:08:58,764
Kevin.
1051
01:08:58,847 --> 01:09:00,891
Kevin.
1052
01:09:02,476 --> 01:09:05,896
- I wanna have sex.
- Now?
1053
01:09:11,151 --> 01:09:13,195
Prom.
1054
01:09:15,405 --> 01:09:20,744
# As you walk up those steps
and garner your award #
1055
01:09:20,828 --> 01:09:24,873
# Try not to forget about me #
1056
01:09:24,915 --> 01:09:28,126
# 'Cause I was there when you
had no one else to hold #
1057
01:09:30,712 --> 01:09:34,049
# You used to look
just like a saint #
1058
01:09:34,091 --> 01:09:36,051
# And stumble into walls #
1059
01:09:36,093 --> 01:09:39,721
# You're a guy's
very own quarantine #
1060
01:09:39,805 --> 01:09:44,226
# You used to never
think you'd ever grow old ##
1061
01:09:54,820 --> 01:09:57,322
You must be excited
about the big night tonight.
1062
01:09:57,364 --> 01:09:59,533
Thrilled.
1063
01:09:59,616 --> 01:10:01,118
Who's the lucky girl?
1064
01:10:01,160 --> 01:10:02,661
Who's the lucky girl?
1065
01:10:02,744 --> 01:10:04,663
Michelle.
1066
01:10:04,746 --> 01:10:07,833
- Michelle.
- Yeah.
1067
01:10:07,916 --> 01:10:12,087
- She must be very special.
- Oh, she's special, all right.
1068
01:10:12,171 --> 01:10:15,174
I'm sure she is special if you
picked her out of the whole bunch.
1069
01:10:17,885 --> 01:10:20,637
Jim, I'm just gonna
say one thing...
1070
01:10:20,721 --> 01:10:22,639
before you leave
tonight.
1071
01:10:24,266 --> 01:10:28,562
I want you to be very,
very careful...
1072
01:10:28,604 --> 01:10:31,231
when you're
putting on...
1073
01:10:31,315 --> 01:10:33,942
the corsage.
1074
01:10:37,029 --> 01:10:38,947
Okay, Dad.
1075
01:10:39,031 --> 01:10:41,408
- Promise me.
- I promise.
1076
01:11:02,179 --> 01:11:05,724
# Midnight at the oasis #
1077
01:11:06,934 --> 01:11:10,103
# Send your camel to bed #
1078
01:11:12,314 --> 01:11:16,193
# Shadows painting our faces #
1079
01:11:16,276 --> 01:11:18,612
# Traces #
1080
01:11:18,695 --> 01:11:22,616
# Of romance in our heads #
1081
01:11:22,658 --> 01:11:25,953
# Heaven's holding a half-moon #
1082
01:11:27,830 --> 01:11:30,749
# Shining just for us #
1083
01:11:32,876 --> 01:11:36,839
# Let's slip off
to a sand dune #
1084
01:11:36,880 --> 01:11:39,091
# Real soon #
1085
01:11:39,174 --> 01:11:42,094
# And kick up a little dust #
1086
01:11:42,177 --> 01:11:47,182
# Come on
Cactus is our friend #
1087
01:11:47,224 --> 01:11:51,562
# He'll point out the way #
1088
01:11:51,645 --> 01:11:54,356
You know, at band camp
we have dances like this,
1089
01:11:54,398 --> 01:11:56,608
only they're way funner.
1090
01:11:57,693 --> 01:12:01,113
# Till the evenin' ends ##
1091
01:12:11,206 --> 01:12:14,459
All right, status check.
Where do you guys stand?
1092
01:12:14,543 --> 01:12:18,338
Finch, we know where you are,
but can't really use that as an excuse.
1093
01:12:18,422 --> 01:12:20,340
Jim?
1094
01:12:20,424 --> 01:12:24,678
Uh, my date's a flute-toting band dork.
Does that answer your question?
1095
01:12:24,761 --> 01:12:28,223
Oz, is this vocal-jazz shit
gonna pay off or what?
1096
01:12:28,307 --> 01:12:31,059
Kevin, what's with
the attitude?
1097
01:12:31,143 --> 01:12:34,062
Attitude? Me?
1098
01:12:34,146 --> 01:12:36,773
I think you guys should be
a little more enthusiastic.
1099
01:12:36,857 --> 01:12:39,359
This is the night
we've been waiting for.
1100
01:12:39,401 --> 01:12:41,528
We're in this together.
You guys can't back out.
1101
01:12:41,612 --> 01:12:45,240
Kev, you don't need us to get laid.
Are you afraid or something?
1102
01:12:45,324 --> 01:12:48,744
No. Come on.
We made a pact.
1103
01:12:48,827 --> 01:12:52,247
You can't break that.
You guys are gonna have to...
1104
01:12:52,331 --> 01:12:56,168
Have to what, Kev, huh?
I don't have to do shit.
1105
01:12:56,210 --> 01:12:59,630
Forget it already. I am so sick
and tired of all this bullshit pressure.
1106
01:12:59,713 --> 01:13:04,468
I've never even had sex, and already,
I can't stand it. I hate sex!
1107
01:13:04,510 --> 01:13:07,513
And I'm not gonna stand around here
busting my balls over something that,
1108
01:13:07,554 --> 01:13:09,932
quite frankly,
isn't that damn important.
1109
01:13:10,015 --> 01:13:12,142
I'm gonna go hang out
with that geek over there...
1110
01:13:12,226 --> 01:13:15,312
'cause at least she has something else
to talk about besides sex.
1111
01:13:15,395 --> 01:13:17,356
Goddamn.
1112
01:13:19,358 --> 01:13:22,069
Yeah.
1113
01:13:22,152 --> 01:13:25,489
You know, at least I learned
how to shit in school, buddy.
1114
01:13:25,572 --> 01:13:27,533
Hey, Finch.
1115
01:13:27,616 --> 01:13:30,327
- Wanna dance?
- Yeah.
1116
01:13:35,707 --> 01:13:39,127
- How come you have no date?
- I like to keep my options open.
1117
01:13:39,211 --> 01:13:41,129
I got something for you.
1118
01:13:43,048 --> 01:13:45,551
Consider it
a consolation prize.
1119
01:13:48,595 --> 01:13:51,557
Jessica, this is great!
1120
01:13:51,598 --> 01:13:55,978
- Felt sorta guilty
about taking your money.
- You spent $200 on this?
1121
01:13:56,061 --> 01:13:59,273
<i>No, I spent 50 on the flask,
150 on the earrings.</i>
1122
01:14:01,400 --> 01:14:03,360
- These are, uh...
- Let me just clarify...
1123
01:14:03,402 --> 01:14:07,865
- that you have no chance
of scoring with me, Finch.
- Of course not!
1124
01:14:07,906 --> 01:14:10,492
So I take it you and Sherman
are pretty close, huh?
1125
01:14:10,576 --> 01:14:12,578
You met at that party
a while back, right?
1126
01:14:12,661 --> 01:14:14,580
Yeah, we were
up all night together.
1127
01:14:14,663 --> 01:14:17,749
We had one of those
amazingly deep conversations...
1128
01:14:17,833 --> 01:14:20,794
where you feel like
you really get to know someone.
1129
01:14:20,878 --> 01:14:24,173
Deep conversation, huh?
1130
01:14:24,256 --> 01:14:26,466
Is that
what you call it?
1131
01:14:26,550 --> 01:14:28,510
What else
would I call it?
1132
01:14:35,350 --> 01:14:37,311
Thank you, Great Falls.
1133
01:14:37,352 --> 01:14:40,355
We're gonna take a little break.
You are beautiful.
1134
01:14:44,735 --> 01:14:46,653
You suck!
1135
01:14:49,573 --> 01:14:52,159
Excuse me, everyone.
1136
01:14:52,242 --> 01:14:54,411
Sorry to interrupt.
1137
01:14:54,453 --> 01:14:56,830
I just thought
you all should know this.
1138
01:14:56,914 --> 01:14:59,583
Chuck Sherman is a liar.
1139
01:14:59,625 --> 01:15:01,919
I never had sex with him.
1140
01:15:02,002 --> 01:15:06,423
He's never had sex with anyone.
I know this because he told me.
1141
01:15:06,465 --> 01:15:10,344
Once he tried to screw
a grapefruit, but that's all.
1142
01:15:10,385 --> 01:15:13,722
Oh. He also told me that when he gets
nervous, he sometimes wets his pants.
1143
01:15:13,806 --> 01:15:18,101
Thank you for your time.
1144
01:15:30,572 --> 01:15:33,826
- Guess what?
- Not interested.
1145
01:15:33,909 --> 01:15:38,205
Kevin. Come on, man. The bus
to Stifler's is gonna be here soon.
1146
01:15:38,288 --> 01:15:40,207
- I'm not going.
- What?
1147
01:15:40,290 --> 01:15:43,836
Why not?
1148
01:15:43,919 --> 01:15:48,674
Look, things didn't really
turn out how I wanted them to.
1149
01:15:48,757 --> 01:15:51,134
I mean, I don't even
know what I'm doin'.
1150
01:15:51,176 --> 01:15:54,596
I-I'm acting like I've got
everything together tonight.
1151
01:15:54,638 --> 01:15:58,350
I know that Vicky's gonna
ask me if I love her, and...
1152
01:15:58,433 --> 01:16:00,352
I don't know
what I'm gonna say.
1153
01:16:00,435 --> 01:16:02,396
I mean,
I'm on the brink.
1154
01:16:02,437 --> 01:16:06,024
I'm just about to do it.
I should be psyched.
1155
01:16:06,108 --> 01:16:10,195
I don't know. Maybe you're right.
Maybe I am just scared.
1156
01:16:10,279 --> 01:16:14,366
Come on, Kev.
Tonight is the night.
1157
01:16:14,449 --> 01:16:17,578
We-We are finally going
to a post-prom party on the lake.
1158
01:16:17,661 --> 01:16:19,997
We have been waiting for this
for four years.
1159
01:16:20,080 --> 01:16:23,167
Why else have we been friends
with Stifler all this time, right?
1160
01:16:24,126 --> 01:16:26,545
We were friends
with Stifler?
1161
01:16:26,587 --> 01:16:28,714
Hey, look.
1162
01:16:29,923 --> 01:16:32,676
Sherman didn't even
get laid.
1163
01:16:32,718 --> 01:16:35,471
- He didn't?
- No, he pissed himself.
1164
01:16:35,554 --> 01:16:37,681
What?
1165
01:16:39,349 --> 01:16:41,351
We'll tell you
on the bus.
1166
01:16:41,393 --> 01:16:44,563
I'm gonna go inside
and grab my bag.
1167
01:16:44,646 --> 01:16:47,149
My date too, perhaps?
1168
01:16:48,817 --> 01:16:50,986
Stifler's mom
got it in the divorce.
1169
01:16:51,069 --> 01:16:52,988
That reminds me
of this one time...
1170
01:16:53,071 --> 01:16:55,991
Hey, can I ask you
a question?
1171
01:16:56,074 --> 01:16:58,744
How come you don't have any stories?
I've got lots of them,
1172
01:16:58,785 --> 01:17:01,038
and you don't have any.
1173
01:17:01,121 --> 01:17:04,291
Oh, I've got stories.
Believe me. They're just, uh...
1174
01:17:04,374 --> 01:17:07,127
They're just a little
more risque than tales of band camp.
1175
01:17:07,211 --> 01:17:11,757
Are they gross or something?
Like guy stuff? Tell me!
1176
01:17:11,840 --> 01:17:13,759
Okay.
You want a story?
1177
01:17:13,842 --> 01:17:16,428
Here's a story.
Stifler finds this beer...
1178
01:17:19,598 --> 01:17:23,894
- This is
the nicest room in the house.
- Kev, it's perfect.
1179
01:17:34,696 --> 01:17:38,367
You guys are gonna fuck, aren't ya?
1180
01:17:38,450 --> 01:17:41,036
Fuckers!
Fuckers, fuckers!
1181
01:17:41,119 --> 01:17:43,372
Fuckers,
fuckers, fuckers!
1182
01:17:44,790 --> 01:17:47,417
- Out.
- Aw, come on!
1183
01:17:47,501 --> 01:17:49,920
- Get out.
- Aw, man!
1184
01:18:07,980 --> 01:18:09,982
There's something
I've been meaning to tell you, Heather.
1185
01:18:10,065 --> 01:18:12,401
What's that?
1186
01:18:12,484 --> 01:18:14,778
It's gonna sound
really bad, but, uh,
1187
01:18:14,820 --> 01:18:17,447
I want you to know.
1188
01:18:17,531 --> 01:18:20,242
You see, uh,
1189
01:18:20,284 --> 01:18:24,580
I'm a virgin,
and, uh...
1190
01:18:24,621 --> 01:18:27,291
Well, me, Kevin, Jim
and Finch were...
1191
01:18:27,374 --> 01:18:30,085
We all made this pact...
1192
01:18:30,210 --> 01:18:33,046
that we would
lose our virginity...
1193
01:18:33,088 --> 01:18:35,174
before high school
was over,
1194
01:18:35,257 --> 01:18:38,302
and tonight is supposed
to be the night that we all do it.
1195
01:18:40,304 --> 01:18:42,389
This isn't the best way
to proposition me.
1196
01:18:42,473 --> 01:18:45,267
No, that's...
That's not what I mean.
1197
01:18:45,350 --> 01:18:48,520
W- What I mean is, uh...
1198
01:18:48,604 --> 01:18:51,356
Look, do you know
what made me leave that game?
1199
01:18:51,440 --> 01:18:55,486
See, Coach, he was givin' us
this speech about...
1200
01:18:55,527 --> 01:18:58,238
not slacking off when you see
the opportunity to score...
1201
01:18:58,322 --> 01:19:00,365
This isn't any better,
Chris.
1202
01:19:00,449 --> 01:19:02,534
No, you see...
You see, Heather,
1203
01:19:02,618 --> 01:19:05,037
what I realized is that...
1204
01:19:05,120 --> 01:19:10,000
with you, it's...
not like I'm running towards a goal...
1205
01:19:10,083 --> 01:19:13,420
looking for
the best way to score.
1206
01:19:13,462 --> 01:19:17,007
This may sound
a little corny, but...
1207
01:19:17,090 --> 01:19:19,301
I feel like
I've already won.
1208
01:19:21,845 --> 01:19:26,266
And, uh,
I care about you a lot.
1209
01:19:27,476 --> 01:19:29,770
Oz, I know.
1210
01:19:30,938 --> 01:19:34,274
- You called me Oz.
- Well, yeah.
1211
01:19:34,358 --> 01:19:36,276
It's what your friends
call you.
1212
01:19:36,360 --> 01:19:39,363
I mean, I feel like I'm
one of your friends now.
1213
01:19:39,446 --> 01:19:43,200
And... your girlfriend?
1214
01:19:45,494 --> 01:19:49,998
# Ain't never thought that
I could love like this #
1215
01:19:50,082 --> 01:19:53,210
# This feeling inside me
is growing #
1216
01:19:53,293 --> 01:19:57,840
# I never thought that
you would care ##
1217
01:20:16,984 --> 01:20:18,944
Are ya lost?
1218
01:20:23,490 --> 01:20:26,326
You're Stifler's mom.
Uh...
1219
01:20:26,410 --> 01:20:29,121
No, no, not lost.
Just, um,
1220
01:20:29,204 --> 01:20:31,123
you know,
taking the tour.
1221
01:20:33,625 --> 01:20:37,921
Hey, uh, thank you for letting
us have this wonderful party.
1222
01:20:37,963 --> 01:20:40,424
As if there was
an alternative in the matter.
1223
01:20:45,387 --> 01:20:47,806
So, you enjoying yourself?
1224
01:20:47,890 --> 01:20:51,351
I'm... three sheets
to the wind, ma'am.
1225
01:20:51,435 --> 01:20:53,770
I'm so happy for you.
1226
01:20:53,854 --> 01:20:55,772
But it takes the edge off,
doesn't it?
1227
01:20:57,774 --> 01:21:01,028
- Where's your little date tonight?
- No date. It was...
1228
01:21:01,111 --> 01:21:03,530
It was a bathroom incident.
1229
01:21:03,572 --> 01:21:08,160
- Pardon me?
- Never mind.
1230
01:21:11,955 --> 01:21:14,333
You have
anything to drink?
1231
01:21:14,416 --> 01:21:16,335
I believe the kegs
are upstairs.
1232
01:21:17,669 --> 01:21:20,172
That is what
the cretins drink.
1233
01:21:20,255 --> 01:21:22,341
I'm talking about
alcohol, liquor.
1234
01:21:22,424 --> 01:21:25,385
- The good stuff.
- All right.
1235
01:21:27,012 --> 01:21:28,972
I got some scotch.
1236
01:21:29,014 --> 01:21:33,644
<i>- Single malt?
- Aged 18 years.</i>
1237
01:21:33,727 --> 01:21:35,646
The way I like it.
1238
01:21:39,441 --> 01:21:41,652
Why don't you go
grab a glass from the bar?
1239
01:21:44,071 --> 01:21:46,740
I think I should.
1240
01:21:46,824 --> 01:21:48,784
Allow me.
1241
01:21:50,410 --> 01:21:52,329
You know it's
a bitchin' party.
1242
01:21:52,412 --> 01:21:54,873
The Stif-man
always comes through in the clutch.
1243
01:21:58,377 --> 01:22:01,839
And then he just
puked his brains out.
1244
01:22:01,922 --> 01:22:04,842
- That is a nasty story.
- Yep, I told you.
1245
01:22:04,883 --> 01:22:07,052
Do you want to hear
a nasty story of mine?
1246
01:22:07,136 --> 01:22:09,179
It's sort of sexual.
1247
01:22:11,140 --> 01:22:13,684
Yeah!
Yeah, let's hear it.
1248
01:22:13,767 --> 01:22:18,605
Okay, well, this one time at band camp,
we were playing this game.
1249
01:22:18,689 --> 01:22:22,359
I don't know if you know it,
but it's called "Spin the Bottle."
1250
01:22:22,401 --> 01:22:26,280
And I had to kiss this guy
named Mark Wander on the lips.
1251
01:22:26,363 --> 01:22:28,282
And-And he plays
trombone...
1252
01:22:28,365 --> 01:22:30,784
So how do you
want to be?
1253
01:22:30,868 --> 01:22:33,829
Like... how do you
want to do it?
1254
01:22:35,080 --> 01:22:37,749
I don't know.
How do you?
1255
01:22:37,833 --> 01:22:42,588
Like... normal style.
The missionary position.
1256
01:22:44,298 --> 01:22:46,216
Okay.
1257
01:22:52,473 --> 01:22:54,600
Kev?
1258
01:22:54,683 --> 01:22:56,977
- Yeah?
- I wanna hear you say it.
1259
01:22:57,060 --> 01:22:59,480
Okay.
1260
01:23:02,399 --> 01:23:04,693
Victoria,
1261
01:23:04,776 --> 01:23:06,695
I love you.
1262
01:23:08,447 --> 01:23:11,158
I love you.
1263
01:23:22,544 --> 01:23:24,713
# Don't stray #
1264
01:23:24,796 --> 01:23:27,466
# Don't ever go away #
1265
01:23:27,549 --> 01:23:30,010
# I should be
much too smart for this #
1266
01:23:30,093 --> 01:23:32,596
# You know it gets
the better of me #
1267
01:23:32,679 --> 01:23:37,309
# Sometimes
when you and I collide #
1268
01:23:37,392 --> 01:23:39,645
- # I fall into an ocean of you #
- Oh. My hair.
1269
01:23:39,686 --> 01:23:42,064
# Pull me out in time #
1270
01:23:42,147 --> 01:23:43,982
# Don't let me drown #
1271
01:23:44,066 --> 01:23:46,610
# Let me down #
1272
01:23:46,652 --> 01:23:49,154
You okay?
1273
01:23:49,196 --> 01:23:53,158
Yeah. Go slow.
1274
01:23:53,200 --> 01:23:56,078
# Say you'll stay #
1275
01:23:56,161 --> 01:23:59,248
# Don't come and go #
1276
01:23:59,331 --> 01:24:01,333
# Like you do #
1277
01:24:03,293 --> 01:24:05,838
# Sway my way #
1278
01:24:05,921 --> 01:24:09,216
# Yeah, I need to know #
1279
01:24:09,258 --> 01:24:11,969
# All about you #
1280
01:24:13,262 --> 01:24:15,722
# Say you'll stay ##
1281
01:24:15,806 --> 01:24:18,725
So the end of the story
is you...
1282
01:24:18,809 --> 01:24:20,894
had to kiss the guy
for 20 seconds.
1283
01:24:20,978 --> 01:24:24,940
Yes! And he was such a dork.
Everyone laughed at me...
1284
01:24:25,023 --> 01:24:29,153
- but I didn't care
because it was so funny.
- I get it.
1285
01:24:29,194 --> 01:24:32,990
And this one time at band camp,
I stuck a flute in my pussy.
1286
01:24:35,284 --> 01:24:37,411
Excuse me?
1287
01:24:37,494 --> 01:24:40,205
What? You don't think I know
how to get myself off?
1288
01:24:40,289 --> 01:24:43,709
Hell, that's what
half of band camp is... Sex Ed.
1289
01:24:43,792 --> 01:24:46,920
So are we gonna screw soon,
'cause I'm gettin' kinda antsy.
1290
01:24:56,013 --> 01:24:58,223
This'll do. Whoo-hoo!
1291
01:24:59,725 --> 01:25:04,146
Ow!
1292
01:25:04,229 --> 01:25:06,440
Now, I have two rubbers.
Wear them both. It'll desensitize you.
1293
01:25:06,482 --> 01:25:08,692
Now, I have two rubbers.
Wear them both. It'll desensitize you.
1294
01:25:08,734 --> 01:25:11,236
I don't want you coming
so damn early this time.
1295
01:25:13,447 --> 01:25:15,782
What makes you think
that I would come early?
1296
01:25:15,866 --> 01:25:19,953
Come on. I saw you on the 'Net.
Why do you think I accepted this date?
1297
01:25:19,995 --> 01:25:22,748
You're a sure thing.
1298
01:25:24,833 --> 01:25:27,669
Yes, I am.
1299
01:25:27,753 --> 01:25:32,424
So I said, "This is very obviously
a Piero della Francesca."
1300
01:25:39,723 --> 01:25:45,521
So, uh, would you object if I said
that you were quite striking?
1301
01:25:45,562 --> 01:25:50,526
Mr. Finch, are you
trying to seduce me?
1302
01:25:50,567 --> 01:25:52,653
- Yes, ma'am, I am.
- # And here's to you #
1303
01:25:52,694 --> 01:25:55,489
# Mrs. Robinson #
1304
01:25:55,531 --> 01:25:59,326
# Jesus loves you more
than you will know #
1305
01:26:01,870 --> 01:26:04,998
# Stand up tall, Mrs. Robinson #
1306
01:26:05,040 --> 01:26:08,794
- Mmm, you're dead.
- # God in heaven
smiles on those who pray #
1307
01:26:08,877 --> 01:26:12,172
# Hey, hey, hey #
1308
01:26:12,256 --> 01:26:14,091
# Hey, hey, hey ##
1309
01:26:14,133 --> 01:26:16,093
# Hey, hey, hey ##
1310
01:26:16,176 --> 01:26:19,096
# Sway my way #
1311
01:26:19,138 --> 01:26:22,224
# Yeah, I need to know #
1312
01:26:22,307 --> 01:26:25,435
# All about you #
1313
01:26:25,519 --> 01:26:28,230
# And there's no cure #
1314
01:26:28,313 --> 01:26:30,816
# And no way to be sure #
1315
01:26:30,899 --> 01:26:33,318
# Why everything's
turned inside out #
1316
01:26:33,402 --> 01:26:35,320
# Instilling so much doubt #
1317
01:26:35,404 --> 01:26:38,031
# It makes me so tired #
1318
01:26:38,073 --> 01:26:40,701
# I feel so uninspired #
1319
01:26:40,742 --> 01:26:43,287
# My head is battling
with my heart #
1320
01:26:43,370 --> 01:26:47,166
# My logic has been torn apart
And now ##
1321
01:26:47,207 --> 01:26:49,751
- I had
no idea you'd be this good.
- Neither did I.
1322
01:26:49,835 --> 01:26:51,879
Oh, Finchy. Finch.
1323
01:26:51,962 --> 01:26:54,882
- Oh, Stifler's mom!
- Finchy!
1324
01:27:01,138 --> 01:27:04,141
Okay, let's go.
1325
01:27:04,224 --> 01:27:06,685
What's my name?
Say my name, bitch!
1326
01:27:06,727 --> 01:27:08,896
Michelle, Michelle.
1327
01:27:10,522 --> 01:27:12,441
Oh, God.
1328
01:27:40,135 --> 01:27:42,095
That was
a great night, huh?
1329
01:27:44,515 --> 01:27:46,433
Yeah.
1330
01:27:48,435 --> 01:27:51,438
I mean, I just can't believe
we had our senior prom.
1331
01:27:51,522 --> 01:27:55,400
I know.
It went by so fast.
1332
01:27:55,484 --> 01:27:58,111
Yeah, it did.
1333
01:27:58,195 --> 01:28:00,113
Kevin?
1334
01:28:04,868 --> 01:28:07,329
Next year with you
going to Ann Arbor...
1335
01:28:07,412 --> 01:28:10,541
and me going to Ithaca,
1336
01:28:10,624 --> 01:28:13,752
it's not gonna work,
is it?
1337
01:28:13,836 --> 01:28:15,838
No.
Don't say that.
1338
01:28:15,921 --> 01:28:18,423
I mean,
we could make it work.
1339
01:28:19,758 --> 01:28:22,427
- It'll be perfect.
- No, Kevin.
1340
01:28:24,179 --> 01:28:26,598
- But...
- See, that's what I've been realizing...
1341
01:28:26,682 --> 01:28:29,434
is that...
nothing's perfect.
1342
01:28:29,476 --> 01:28:33,981
And you can't
plan everything.
1343
01:28:34,064 --> 01:28:37,818
Well, I guess... you will
be pretty far away.
1344
01:28:39,153 --> 01:28:42,156
And we'll be on our own,
meeting new people.
1345
01:28:46,368 --> 01:28:48,328
Last night, though.
1346
01:28:52,040 --> 01:28:55,043
I wasn't lying.
1347
01:28:56,420 --> 01:28:58,338
I know.
1348
01:29:14,021 --> 01:29:17,483
She's gone.
Wha...
1349
01:29:17,566 --> 01:29:19,610
Oh, my God.
She used me.
1350
01:29:19,693 --> 01:29:21,612
I was used.
1351
01:29:23,572 --> 01:29:26,992
I was used.
Cool!
1352
01:29:29,328 --> 01:29:31,288
What's this door locked...
1353
01:29:31,330 --> 01:29:33,290
Mom, where's...
1354
01:29:34,791 --> 01:29:39,046
- Mom? Shit-brick?
- Hey, Stifler.
1355
01:29:41,298 --> 01:29:44,635
# Do do do do do do do #
1356
01:29:44,718 --> 01:29:48,138
I just gotta say that women,
1357
01:29:48,222 --> 01:29:50,808
like a fine wine,
only get better with age.
1358
01:29:52,476 --> 01:29:55,604
Of course, I have
no basis for comparison, but, uh,
1359
01:29:55,646 --> 01:29:57,606
it was good.
1360
01:29:57,648 --> 01:30:00,150
So you almost made it,
huh, Oz?
1361
01:30:00,192 --> 01:30:04,363
- I'll just say that
we had a great night together.
- Hang in there, buddy.
1362
01:30:04,446 --> 01:30:08,867
- You'll get there.
- You know, guys, I think
we're falling in love.
1363
01:30:08,951 --> 01:30:12,788
Wha...
1364
01:30:12,871 --> 01:30:15,374
That's great, man.
That's awesome.
1365
01:30:16,667 --> 01:30:19,461
Y- You know what
the coolest thing is, guys?
1366
01:30:19,545 --> 01:30:21,630
This.
You know, right now.
1367
01:30:21,713 --> 01:30:25,425
It's true. I mean, after this,
everything's gonna be different.
1368
01:30:25,509 --> 01:30:28,679
After... getting laid?
1369
01:30:28,762 --> 01:30:31,723
- After high school.
- Here's to the next step.
1370
01:30:31,807 --> 01:30:35,394
- To the next step.
- To the next step.
- To the next step.
1371
01:30:37,146 --> 01:30:39,857
# Do do do do do do do #
1372
01:30:39,940 --> 01:30:42,776
# Do do do do do do do #
1373
01:30:42,860 --> 01:30:44,778
# Do do do do do do do #
1374
01:30:44,820 --> 01:30:47,281
# Do do do do do do do ##
1375
01:30:53,620 --> 01:30:57,958
# Chickety China, the Chinese
chicken, have a drumstick
and your brain stops tickin' #
1376
01:30:58,000 --> 01:31:00,085
# Watchin' X Files
with no lights on #
1377
01:31:00,169 --> 01:31:02,087
# We're dans la maison
I hope the Smoking Man's in this one #
1378
01:31:02,171 --> 01:31:04,298
# Like Harrison Ford
I'm getting frantic #
1379
01:31:04,339 --> 01:31:05,466
# Like Sting I'm tantric
Like Snickers guaranteed to satisfy #
1380
01:31:05,507 --> 01:31:06,592
# Like Sting I'm tantric
Like Snickers guaranteed to satisfy #
1381
01:31:06,633 --> 01:31:08,594
# Like Kurosawa
I make mad films #
1382
01:31:08,635 --> 01:31:10,596
# Okay, I don't make films
but if I did they'd have a samurai #
1383
01:31:10,679 --> 01:31:12,598
# Gonna get a set of better clubs,
gonna find the kind with tiny nubs #
1384
01:31:12,681 --> 01:31:15,392
# So my irons aren't always
flyin' off the backswing #
1385
01:31:15,476 --> 01:31:17,394
# Gonna get in tune
with Sailor Moon 'cause that cartoon #
1386
01:31:17,478 --> 01:31:19,396
# Has got the boom anime babes
that make me think the wrong thing #
1387
01:31:19,480 --> 01:31:21,482
# How can I help it if I think
you're funny when you're mad #
1388
01:31:21,565 --> 01:31:23,567
# Tryin' hard not to smile
though I feel bad #
1389
01:31:23,609 --> 01:31:25,569
# I'm the kinda guy
who laughs at a funeral #
1390
01:31:25,652 --> 01:31:27,404
- Sweetheart?
- # Can't understand what I mean
You soon will #
1391
01:31:27,654 --> 01:31:29,865
# It's been one week
since you looked at me #
1392
01:31:29,907 --> 01:31:30,908
# Dropped your eyes to the side
and said, I'm sorry ##
1393
01:31:30,949 --> 01:31:31,867
# Dropped your eyes to the side
and said, I'm sorry ##
1394
01:31:31,950 --> 01:31:35,913
# Hello to your mother
your brother significant other #
1395
01:31:35,996 --> 01:31:40,584
# I am the summertime #
1396
01:31:40,667 --> 01:31:46,215
# And I'm here
to free your mind #
1397
01:31:46,298 --> 01:31:50,344
# Kick off your shoes the blues
and use anything but your mind #
1398
01:31:50,427 --> 01:31:55,015
# 'Cause this is
the summertime #
1399
01:31:55,098 --> 01:32:00,562
# And it's here
to free your mind #
1400
01:32:00,646 --> 01:32:05,484
# How many other people
can you save today #
1401
01:32:05,567 --> 01:32:10,447
# Don't you think it's high time
that you sail away #
1402
01:32:10,489 --> 01:32:15,244
# Leave today
Don't fall behind #
1403
01:32:15,285 --> 01:32:19,540
# Try something new, turn into you
if only for a short time #
1404
01:32:19,623 --> 01:32:24,378
# I am the summertime #
1405
01:32:24,419 --> 01:32:29,424
# And I'm here
to free your mind ##
1406
01:32:39,059 --> 01:32:41,311
# Love is tragic
Love is bold #
1407
01:32:41,353 --> 01:32:44,481
# You will always
do what you are told #
1408
01:32:49,319 --> 01:32:51,738
# Love is hard
Love is strong #
1409
01:32:51,822 --> 01:32:54,950
# You will never say
that you were wrong #
1410
01:32:59,830 --> 01:33:02,291
# I don't know
when I got bitter #
1411
01:33:02,332 --> 01:33:06,920
# Love is surely better
when it's gone #
1412
01:33:08,964 --> 01:33:11,467
# 'Cause you wanted more #
1413
01:33:11,550 --> 01:33:14,136
# More than I could give #
1414
01:33:14,219 --> 01:33:16,472
# More than I could handle #
1415
01:33:16,555 --> 01:33:19,600
# And a life that I can't live #
1416
01:33:19,683 --> 01:33:22,102
# You wanted more #
1417
01:33:22,144 --> 01:33:24,646
# More than I could bear #
1418
01:33:24,730 --> 01:33:27,065
# More than I could offer #
1419
01:33:27,149 --> 01:33:30,694
# And a love that isn't there #
1420
01:33:42,080 --> 01:33:44,500
# Love is color
Love is love #
1421
01:33:44,583 --> 01:33:47,711
# Love is never saying
you're too proud #
1422
01:33:52,341 --> 01:33:54,885
# Love is trusting
Love is honest #
1423
01:33:54,968 --> 01:33:58,055
# Love is not a hand
that holds you down #
1424
01:34:02,851 --> 01:34:05,270
# I don't know
when I got bitter #
1425
01:34:05,354 --> 01:34:09,900
# Love is surely better
when it's gone #
1426
01:34:11,944 --> 01:34:14,446
# 'Cause you wanted more #
1427
01:34:14,530 --> 01:34:17,115
# More than I could give #
1428
01:34:17,199 --> 01:34:19,535
# More than I could handle #
1429
01:34:19,618 --> 01:34:22,579
# And a life that I can't live #
1430
01:34:22,663 --> 01:34:25,082
# You wanted more #
1431
01:34:25,123 --> 01:34:27,668
# More than I could bear #
1432
01:34:27,751 --> 01:34:30,129
# More than I could offer #
1433
01:34:30,170 --> 01:34:33,715
# And a love that isn't there #
1434
01:34:37,344 --> 01:34:41,181
# I gotta pick me up
when I am down #
1435
01:34:42,766 --> 01:34:46,436
# I gotta get my feet
back on the ground #
1436
01:34:48,021 --> 01:34:53,026
# I gotta pick me up
when I am down #
1437
01:35:03,579 --> 01:35:05,998
# I don't know
when I got bitter #
1438
01:35:06,081 --> 01:35:10,627
# But love is surely better
when it's gone #
1439
01:35:12,713 --> 01:35:15,257
# 'Cause you wanted more #
1440
01:35:15,340 --> 01:35:17,926
# More than I could give #
1441
01:35:18,010 --> 01:35:20,262
# More than I could handle #
1442
01:35:20,345 --> 01:35:23,390
# And a life that I can't live #
1443
01:35:23,474 --> 01:35:25,851
# You wanted more ##
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