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American
Pie 2, 2001. English subtitles. Субтитры к фильму на английском
языке.
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{1}{29}- = ***** =-|Spell Checked and Converted by|HxHPRC
{30}{102}## [ Rock ]
{105}{151}# Never found out|why you left him #
{153}{199}# But this answer|begs that question #
{201}{281}# Too blind to see tomorrow|Too broke to beg or borrow
#
{284}{364}# Span the distance #|# Bridge the border #
{367}{480}# Beg forgiveness #|# Round the corner again #
{644}{689}# One more point|of contention #
{692}{739}# I need some intervention #
{742}{788}# Approaching|failing tensions #
{792}{855}[ Girl ] Are you sure you|don't wanna go to my room?|[
Boy ] No. Why?
{858}{921}My roommate's|already moved out.|We'll be all alone.
{924}{970}All right.|The door is locked.
{972}{1018}Okay, Jim, relax. Relax.|Okay, yeah, sure.
{1020}{1090}No strings attached, okay?|It's just friendly|good-bye
sex.
{1092}{1140}Yeah, right. Right,|right, right, right.
{1140}{1151}Yeah, right. Right,|right, right, right.
{1154}{1234}Uh, yeah, but you see,|it's just that, um,
{1236}{1306}we've never even had|friendly hello sex.
{1308}{1395}So do you not|wanna do this?|Oh, no, no, no, no,
no.
{1398}{1482}Oh, I do. Yeah.|No, I definitely do.
{1485}{1546}Uh, it's just that,
{1549}{1605}you see, this is actually|my first time.
{1608}{1677}Well, not my first.|It's my first time,
{1680}{1768}uh, since my...|first time.
{1771}{1823}So, technically,|that's my second time.
{1825}{1900}And I-- I don't--|I don't wanna suck at it.
{1903}{1960}So if I'm not up to par,|performance-wise--
{1963}{2050}Jim, this isn't exactly|a turn-on.
{2052}{2117}I mean, girls like a guy|with confidence.
{2120}{2182}Hey, I'm confident.
{2184}{2283}Oh, I am-- I'm absolutely,|totally confident.
{2286}{2317}Oh?|Yeah.
{2320}{2361}Let's get naked.|Okay.
{2422}{2521}Seems like just yesterday|my dad picked me up after|my
first year at college.
{2524}{2598}- Mm-hmm.|- We popped a couple of beers,
{2601}{2656}and he said,|"Now, you're a man."
{2659}{2715}And today I get to say|the same thing to my son.
{2717}{2766}Honey, your speeches|embarrass him.
{2769}{2843}So, try and do what the kids|say, and just... be
cool.
{2846}{2926}I think I bring new meaning|to the word "cool,"
honey.
{2928}{2975}That's his dormitory|up ahead.
{3348}{3394}Turn over.|Okay.
{3430}{3483}Ow.|[ Groans ]
{3576}{3631}Can't bring alcohol|in the dorms.|Oh, uh, good.
{3633}{3731}Thank you, uh, Matt.|I'm just here to surprise|my
son Jim.
{3734}{3790}Now pin my leg up.|What?
{3792}{3847}Pin my leg up,|like this.
{3849}{3926}Uh-huh. Oh, yeah.
{3928}{4001}Maybe you can help|me out, you know.
{4004}{4067}Okay.
{4072}{4144}Is that the one?|No.|There!
{4147}{4217}Oh, yeah, yeah!|Oh, oh, oh, okay!
{4220}{4275}[ Shudders ]|Now I remember.
{4329}{4384}I didn't do this for you.
{4387}{4431}Thanks, dude.
{4461}{4523}[ Dad ]|Where's my big guy?|Oh, my God!
{4526}{4573}Oh, no.|Hey--|[ Screams ]
{4616}{4702}-Jesus!|-Jim, we got here|a little early.
{4704}{4754}- Dad, get out!|- I'll wait in the car.
{4757}{4817}Go, Dad!|Oh, my-- Geez.
{4820}{4873}Was that your dad?|Yeah.
{4876}{4927}- I'm so sorry.|- For your own edification,
{4931}{4963}son, I just--|I'm not embarrassed.
{4966}{5048}- I am!|- It's a perfectly|normal thing for two--
{5052}{5142}- Dad, what are you doing?|- This is human nature.|Human
nature at its best.
{5144}{5243}Son, everybody does it.|Your mother and I--|Well,
not so much anymore.
{5246}{5303}Got your favorite.|Oh, my God! They're fucking!
{5305}{5382}- No! No!|- Honey, honey, listen. No, no.|I'm gonna
take her--
{5384}{5449}Please just go!|Actually,|if you wouldn't mind.
{5452}{5508}Honey-- I'll take her|to the car.
{5511}{5557}[ Gasps ]|[ Gasps ]
{5560}{5599}Hi, Mama.|What?
{5603}{5667}- Natalie!|- I'm Jim's dad.
{5671}{5718}You must be the parents|of this young lady.
{5721}{5788}I'm sorry I didn't get her name,|but hopefully my
son did...
{5791}{5801}because I have not been|here the whole time.
{5801}{5836}because I have not been|here the whole time.
{5839}{5891}[ Man ]|Natalie, get dressed!
{5894}{5962}- Beer?|- [ Man ] Avert your eyes!|Turn around!
{5964}{6045}[ Natalie ] Thanks, Jim.|You don't believe in locks?|Oh,
my God.
{6048}{6127}# More time apart will give you|a few more months
to argue #
{6129}{6211}# Is this too much|to live through|It always seemed
to far to #
{6213}{6293}# Drive the point home #|# Send more letters #
{6296}{6378}# Pray tomorrow #|# Ends up better ##
{6482}{6530}Heya, fuck face.
{6533}{6626}- Morning, dude.|- Come on, Ozzy.|It's show time.
{6680}{6803}Ozzy, before you go to Ann Arbor|to pick up Heather,
I wanna|show you what you're missing.
{6845}{6910}See what they are today, dude.|See what they are
today.
{6912}{6965}Okay, here we go.|Moment of truth.
{7016}{7063}Ooh!
{7065}{7129}There's little hearts|on her panties!|Super.
{7132}{7199}There's little hearts|on her panties! Come on, look,|you
pussy. Look.
{7202}{7257}What the fuck, man?|Come on!
{7260}{7369}I'm disappointed in you. Here|it is, the end of
our freshman|year and you screwed one girl.
{7372}{7422}One.|[ Chuckles ]
{7424}{7470}You're a disgrace|to men everywhere.
{7472}{7543}Look at the Stifmeister.|I got laid 23 times|this
year,
{7546}{7626}and I'm not counting|the hummer I got in|the library
stacks, baby.
{7628}{7693}All right, here's a new idea|for you, Stifler, okay?
{7696}{7747}You find a girl.|You two become best friends.
{7749}{7818}You don't bother counting how|many times you have
sex|with each other.
{7820}{7906}- You just laugh at the people|that do count.|-
Here's a new idea for you.
{7909}{7967}I'll get you a spoon|so you can eat my ass.
{8044}{8138}Yes! I'm never|even gonna think about|political
science again.
{8140}{8187}Hey. How'd you do?
{8191}{8241}Oh, fine.|Yeah?
{8244}{8332}I can't believe I'm doing this|summer abroad thing.
Last thing|I need is more classes.
{8335}{8404}You're gonna have|a great time.|[ Boy ] Hello, summer!
{8407}{8502}Did that exam blow or what?|Yeah, it sucked.
{8504}{8555}Ozzy!|Kev, what's up, man?|How are you?
{8558}{8624}Good. Put your|party hat on.
{8627}{8685}We got 12 weeks|of immortality ahead.|Yes, sir!
{8900}{8959}Weird.
{9312}{9399}Ah, the one that got away,|huh, son?
{9474}{9519}Yeah.|Yeah.
{9572}{9683}Well, evidently you two|made quite the handsome|couple
on the Internet.
{9756}{9802}Oh, I didn't see it.
{9804}{9878}It, uh, was brought up|at a P.T.A. meeting.
{9880}{9949}Anyway, my point is,
{9952}{10067}these little sexual debacles|should not get you
down,|because you know what?
{10070}{10160}It happens to the best|of us. In fact,
{10163}{10255}the first time your mother|and I... got together,
{10257}{10307}[ Low Moan ]|I used a condom.
{10310}{10403}Well, she referred to it|as "shrink wrapping."
{10407}{10459}[ Chuckles ]
{10462}{10507}But I got over it.
{10510}{10563}Anyway, keep your chin up.|You keep plugging...
{10565}{10624}and, uh, good things|will happen.
{10628}{10687}Good to have you home, son.
{10782}{10842}It's good to be home, Dad.
{10915}{10992}Did you get through 'em?|There's the mystery man!
{10995}{11046}[ Kevin ]|Finch, how are you?|Kevin. Konichiwa.
{11048}{11137}James. Konichiwa. Konichiwa.
{11179}{11231}It's Japanese.
{11235}{11312}It means "hello."|Hello.
{11315}{11422}-Finch, what happened to Latin?|-I met a Japanese
girl|at the art museum.
{11426}{11528}Changed majors. Wanted to|understand all those
things|she was moaning.
{11531}{11598}-You got laid in an art museum?|-The Met.
{11600}{11683}- Oh, and the Guggenheim|with Francesca.|- The
Guggenheim?
{11685}{11757}And then my social-psych|professor in Baskin-Robbins.
{11760}{11842}- All right, enough, Finch.|- But I'll tell you,|none
of these women...
{11844}{11891}even compare to--
{11894}{11962}[ All ]|Stifler's mom.
{11964}{12014}Stifler's mom is a goddess.
{12136}{12205}How about some more|of Stifmeister's|collegiate
concoction?
{12208}{12297}This thing is like|half alcohol. You're just|trying
to get me drunk.
{12299}{12381}[ Chuckles ]|Mary, would I do that?
{12384}{12491}My name's Christy.|Christy, right, right.|Beautiful
name.
{12494}{12578}Like it matters.|Hey, how you doing?|Hey.
{12580}{12631}Howdy-howdy,|fucking partners!
{12634}{12694}Johnny C., how's it going?|Good to see you.
{12696}{12769}Oh, looks like someone|gained a freshman 15.
{12772}{12819}This'll help.|You're an asshole.
{12823}{12868}[ Doorbell Rings ]|Missed you too.
{12871}{12946}All right, everybody|having a good time?|Ladies.
{12975}{13031}Fellas! How's it going?
{13033}{13093}The keg's back there|as always. Enjoy.
{13095}{13220}Ladies, I'm Steve Stifler|and I have an 11-inch
penis...
{13223}{13274}around!
{13276}{13354}Think about it.|Sherman!
{13356}{13430}Okay, Stifler,|take your shot. Ha, ha.
{13432}{13503}Come on, man.|I'm really happy to see you.
{13533}{13599}All right.|You stupid fuck.
{13651}{13755}Back at Stifler's.|It's just like old times.|One
difference.
{13757}{13815}We're college men now.
{13818}{13875}Some of these girls|are from the grade below us.
{13878}{13928}I might actually have a chance.
{13931}{13978}Hey, I remember you.
{14025}{14071}Oh, do you now?
{14073}{14134}You're that guy who blew|his load on the Internet.
{14137}{14176}[ Both Laughing ]
{14179}{14249}Splat. "Oh, wait,|Nadia, don't go."
Splat.
{14293}{14334}Pathetic.|Loser.
{14336}{14403}It's exactly like|old times.
{14466}{14529}I'm gonna miss you.|I'll miss you.
{14579}{14628}I'll call you|when I get in, okay?
{14631}{14686}Go have fun.|Okay.
{14688}{14742}Bye.|Bye-bye.
{15020}{15073}[ Jim ]|I can't believe|those two girls, Kevin.
{15076}{15121}[ Kevin ]|Jim, it's not a big deal.|No. Yeah.
{15124}{15180}They toyed with|my emotions.
{15210}{15259}Hello. Hello.|See?|There's other girls.
{15263}{15355}- How are ya?|- You got nothing|to worry about,
man.
{15357}{15404}Hey, Jessica's here.
{15407}{15466}With Vicky.
{15469}{15584}And Vicky got... hot!
{15587}{15633}What's that supposed|to mean?
{15635}{15681}Look at her.
{15683}{15769}Yeah, Jim, I see her.|Hey, Kevin.
{15772}{15841}I'll be right back.
{15904}{15967}Hey, Vic, how are you?|What's up?
{15970}{16015}I'm okay.|Yeah, I'm good.
{16019}{16099}That's good.|It's good to hear.|Yeah, you too.
{16101}{16168}Wow.
{16171}{16237}Well, this is about|as comfortable as|a high colonic
in Tijuana.
{16239}{16312}And I would know.|Okay.
{16315}{16383}I'm gonna get a drink.|She's right.
{16386}{16467}Why is this so weird?|Actually, I-I have no idea.
{16470}{16551}See, I knew it.|I knew you'd be mature|about this.
{16553}{16629}You know, and we could|still be friends, right?|Yeah.
{16632}{16689}I miss you, Kev.
{16736}{16787}Whoa.
{16827}{16887}Friends, right?
{16891}{16998}Yeah, right.|I mean, I know you said|friends and
I-- I just--
{17001}{17082}I'm sorry.|I was-- It was just...
{17084}{17152}an old habit--|a friend kiss.
{17155}{17255}- Are you sure?|- Vic, why wouldn't I wanna|be
friends with you?
{17257}{17339}Look, we'll--|we'll just do this, okay?
{17369}{17418}Friends.|Friends.
{17611}{17664}Stifler's mom's room.
{18012}{18091}How did you do|that magic you did?
{18529}{18575}Tantra.
{18694}{18743}What the fuck|are you doing in here?
{18746}{18748}-Just relax.|- You get out of my house!
{18748}{18819}-Just relax.|- You get out of my house!
{18821}{18873}Jesus Christ!|Come back here,|you little fucker!
{18875}{18930}Come back here,|you son of a bitch!|Take it easy.
{18932}{19009}Whoa! Hey! Hey!|Easy! Easy!|That's enough.
{19012}{19083}Okay, guys, we went through|this last summer,
all right?
{19086}{19169}Finch got a black eye|and Stifler got six stitches.|'Cause
you fucking bit me!
{19171}{19248}- You touch me, I bite.|- You two relax and shake
hands.
{19252}{19311}Shake this!|Hey.
{19352}{19417}Finch.|I need a drink.
{19420}{19491}Why is everybody|taking a piss right now?
{19493}{19579}The line's too long.|I ain't gonna make it, man.|You'll
be okay. Relax.
{19582}{19666}Hey, bro. Hey, man,|you're the guy who boned|Stifler's
mom.
{19668}{19739}Hey, you are a god.|Holy shit, dude.
{19741}{19832}If I didn't have to hold my dick|'cause I gotta
piss so bad,|I would shake your hand.
{19835}{19894}I'm honored, guys.|Don't leave.
{19896}{19985}You must teach me.|How? How?
{19988}{20081}Oh, look what I found,|Christy.
{20083}{20152}Oh, what a coincidence.
{20240}{20315}I've been saving this|for a special occasion...
{20318}{20395}for a special girl,|just like you.
{20398}{20448}You're so sweet.|That's what they say.
{20448}{20479}You're so sweet.|That's what they say.
{20482}{20534}Oh, weird.
{20536}{20596}Oh, my God.|I spilled some on you.
{20599}{20652}Maybe I should|mop that up.|Thanks.
{20655}{20727}No problem.|Whoa! Whoa, hey.
{20730}{20805}Take it slow. Come on.|Right.
{20808}{20888}You know, they warn us|about these situations|in
college.
{20891}{21009}Now, you may be intoxicated.
{21012}{21059}Oh, yeah.
{21062}{21127}Are you certain that you|wish to engage in "consensing--"
{21130}{21190}Hey, don't count|your chickens, buster.
{21193}{21293}I'm just playing|by the rules, baby.|I make the
rules.
{21296}{21348}That's a pretty good|fucking rule.
{21471}{21524}Dude, the line's too long.|I'll never make it.
{21527}{21577}It's gotta happen now.|Get my back.|Go, bro.
{21759}{21804}Clamp it off.|Hello.
{21807}{21892}- Oh, Laurie. How are you?|- [ Groaning ]
{21895}{21940}Hey. How are you?|Hi, Lori.
{21943}{22054}- Good. I'm really good.|- How 'bout I give you|a
little champagne?
{22056}{22104}- Why don't you go downstairs|and get us a couple
beers?|- I've got a surprise for you.
{22104}{22153}- Why don't you go downstairs|and get us a couple
beers?|- I've got a surprise for you.
{22156}{22215}Close your eyes|and get ready.|Oh, I'm ready.
{22218}{22274}[ Giggles ]
{22276}{22365}You want a beer?|Yeah, all right.
{22368}{22413}Mmm.
{22442}{22475}Okay, go.
{22552}{22616}This is kind of kinky,|and I like that.
{22619}{22656}[ Sighing ]
{22716}{22816}Ohhh! That's it.|Bathe the Stifmeister.
{22819}{22899}[ Sighs ]
{22902}{22945}Oh, that's great!
{22948}{22999}Oh, that's great.
{23002}{23050}How did you get it|so nice and warm?
{23052}{23138}- [ Sighs ]|- [ Moans ]
{23140}{23147}I can taste the bubbles.
{23147}{23196}I can taste the bubbles.
{23259}{23304}Actually, I can't.
{23435}{23476}Much better.
{23528}{23578}Wait a second.
{23580}{23646}Let's go.|Thanks, man.
{23698}{23743}Christy?
{23793}{23808}Oh, fuck!
{23808}{23853}Oh, fuck!
{23856}{23926}[ Jim ]|Okay, now,
{23928}{24038}do these high school kids|think that we're cool
because|they're at a college party,
{24041}{24179}or are we those weird older guys|that try to hang
out with high|school kids when we come home?
{24182}{24257}No way. We're definitely|not those guys.|[ Boy
] Cops!
{24259}{24325}- Cops!|- [ Man ] All right!
{24327}{24364}Break it up.|Party's over.
{24364}{24386}Break it up.|Party's over.
{24388}{24473}Let's go.|Ostreicher, Meyers.
{24475}{24570}- Welcome back.|- Where's Steve Stifler?
{24719}{24765}I got peed on.
{24801}{24870}[ Kevin ]|No, man,|Stifler's got shut down.
{24872}{24939}We can't party|anywhere anymore.
{24942}{25000}And things are--
{25003}{25082}Getting weird?|Yeah, a little bit.
{25084}{25141}First summer back|from college.
{25143}{25209}Yep, things are gonna|get weirder.
{25211}{25292}- What are you talking about?|- Well, times change,
people change.
{25295}{25340}It's just what happens,|you know.
{25343}{25428}Kev, listen.|Go into my old room.
{25431}{25517}My friends and I knew|that it was up to us|to
stick together.
{25520}{25608}You remember my first|college summer? We rented|that
lake house in Grand Harbor.
{25611}{25686}We treated everyday out there|like it was a post-prom
party.
{25689}{25757}Hell of a time. We capped it|all off with a massive
blowout.
{25760}{25810}Best ever.|It was legendary.
{25812}{25867}My advice is do that.|By the end of the summer,
{25870}{25938}you're gonna see|the big picture.
{26077}{26191}# I love adventure|Nothing's better to me##
{26193}{26294}[ Footsteps Approaching ]|[ Knocking ]
{26296}{26370}She's on the phone.|She's on the phone.|It's long
distance.
{26373}{26419}Who?|Nadia! Nadia!
{26422}{26512}What?|New York. She's on-- Hello.|Yes, dear, he's
right here.
{26515}{26562}Here. Wait.|Now remember--
{26566}{26642}Yes, I am sure to go|see the Lion King.
{26644}{26718}Right. And don't ride|the subway after midnight.|Okay.
{26720}{26809}I know they've done|wonderful things with that
city,|but, you know, for me--
{26811}{26885}- Dad!|- He's right-- Hang on.
{26960}{27009}Hey-- Hey, Nadia.|Jim!
{27011}{27083}How was college?|College was excellent.
{27086}{27156}Yeah. Yeah, it was--|it was really excellent.
{27159}{27222}You have not forgotten|about me, have you?
{27225}{27304}No. I, uh--|Absolutely not.
{27307}{27386}I definitely didn't.|Good, because guess what?
{27388}{27440}I'm coming to see you|at the end of summer.
{27443}{27503}I hope you're ready|for me...
{27506}{27615}because I have not forgotten|about you either,
you sexy boy.
{27618}{27681}[ Jim ] Shit.|[ Finch ]Jim, you can|eat hot dogs
tomorrow.
{27683}{27763}No, no, Finch,|it's not the hot dogs.
{27766}{27811}Nadia called me|this morning.
{27814}{27890}She's coming here|at the end of the summer|and
she wants to see me.
{27892}{27967}- Oh, that's killer.|- Yeah, that's a good thing.
{27970}{28039}No, not "good thing."|Not "killer."
{28042}{28091}I'll never be able|to do it.
{28095}{28187}Nadia is gonna be expecting|filet mignon.
{28190}{28297}Okay, and all I'm gonna|be able to give her...
{28299}{28345}is rump roast.
{28380}{28483}Aw, come on.|Jim, you've had experience|since
Nadia.
{28486}{28536}Ah, yes, you would be|referring to...
{28539}{28615}the flute-fetish band geek|that made me her bitch
and|then ditched me after prom.
{28617}{28666}Yes, that's|great experience.|That's the one.
{28669}{28752}Ah, you just gotta|find the right girl, Jimbo.
{28755}{28802}Brings it all together.|[ Finch ]|I had the right
woman.
{28806}{28926}She just sells her cottage|and takes off|to parts
unknown.
{28929}{28991}Oh, my romantic life|has past its peak.
{28994}{29046}Take me out to the pasture|and shoot me.
{29048}{29160}Super start to|a super summer, fellas.|Welcome
home.
{29201}{29291}Guys, I got it.|Pack your bags.
{29293}{29375}- For what?|- We're moving to the lake.
{29454}{29530}We're gonna be the shit.|Everybody on the beach|is
gonna know us.
{29532}{29597}Plenty of opportunities|to practice for Nadia.
{29600}{29676}Throw a huge party at the end|of the summer to
cap it all off.
{29679}{29766}Dude, that's a great idea.|That way we'll be able|to
welcome Heather back...
{29769}{29841}and we'll be able to prepare|for Nadia's big arrival.
{29843}{29930}This is it.|This is my summer of love.
{29933}{29984}Just thought I'd say|good-bye to you animals.
{29987}{30040}Hey, Mr. Levenstein.|How are you, sir?|Hey.
{30075}{30144}- All packed up I see.|- Yeah, we're all set,
Dad.
{30147}{30206}Don't worry, okay?|I'll be fine.
{30209}{30255}Come on and give|your old man a hug.
{30444}{30468}|
{30538}{30647}- Keep it real, homies.|- You too, sir.|Have a
good summer.
{30650}{30709}All right, let's go.
{30711}{30818}I've been running these numbers|here and I don't
think the four|of us can afford this place.
{30820}{30910}- Not on summer jobs.|- Well, I kind of|thought
of that.
{30912}{30932}So... I invited someone else.
{30932}{31011}So... I invited someone else.
{31074}{31159}Oh, yeah! The Stifmeister's|coming back to Grand
Harbor!
{31162}{31222}Deck the halls!|Bye-bye, Great Falls!
{31225}{31278}Wipe my ass|and lick my balls!
{31281}{31357}It's Stifler time, baby!|Whoo-hoo-hoo!
{31359}{31423}Whoo-hoo-hoo!
{31426}{31478}## [ Rock ]
{31673}{31782}Stifler, if you're gonna|be living with us|you
gotta behave yourself.
{31784}{31873}All right, you and Finch just|stay out of each
other's way.
{31875}{31944}Kevin, Stifler's stench|is unavoidable.
{31947}{32002}Finch, fist yourself.|[ Chuckles ]
{32043}{32099}That's right, baby.|We're here.
{32101}{32166}Yeah, baby, we're here!
{32168}{32227}Whoo-hoo-hoo!
{32280}{32345}# 'Cause we like having fun|at other people's
expenses #
{32347}{32403}# Cutting people down|is just a minor offense
#
{32405}{32453}# It's none of your concern|I guess I'll never
learn #
{32455}{32507}# I'm sick of being told|to wait my turn #
{32510}{32564}# I don't wanna|waste my time #
{32567}{32636}# Become another casualty|of society #
{32639}{32684}# I'll never fall in line #
{32687}{32760}# Become another victim|of conformity ##
{32810}{32889}It's a palace.|It's a temple.
{32943}{33015}Isn't this great?
{33019}{33073}Ah, dude.|Are you kidding me?
{33076}{33118}## [ Rock ]
{33455}{33502}This just won't do.
{33504}{33566}# I'll do everything #
{33570}{33631}# But you're not that way #
{33635}{33683}# I'm lost around you #
{33687}{33799}# And you'll do everything|with the same old lies
#
{33801}{33943}# When I can't even try #
{33945}{34039}# Yeah, you get me high|I'm feeling so low #
{34041}{34112}# How far will you|let me go #
{34115}{34214}# Yeah, you get me high|I'm feeling so low #
{34216}{34303}# I'm knocked down|by the vertigo #
{34306}{34361}Guys.
{34407}{34471}Check this out.|This is it.
{34475}{34543}# I fall behind you #
{34545}{34657}# I'll make the same mistakes|with the same old
lies ##
{34659}{34740}## [ Chanting ]
{34743}{34804}Will you idiots tell me|what this fucker's doing?
{34879}{34925}[ Gasps ]
{34960}{35008}Don't touch me|while I'm tantric.
{35011}{35094}"Tantric"?|What the fuck is tantric?
{35097}{35193}It's a Buddhist discipline.|You learn to channel|your
body's energies--
{35196}{35251}your chakras.
{35254}{35347}When you can do that,|you can have sex for hours,|even
days.
{35349}{35446}-And this stuff's for real?|-It's been around
for centuries.
{35448}{35504}With tantra you can make|an entire session of
sex...
{35507}{35576}feel like one giant orgasm.
{35579}{35670}Eventually, you can|sustain that feeling|by meditating.
{35672}{35750}Well, maybe you can|teach me sometime?|Very doubtful.
{35752}{35805}True.|Come on, Jim.
{35807}{35885}You can't possibly|be that bad.|Oh, no?
{35887}{35939}No way.
{35942}{36032}Well, I guess there's only|one person that really|knows
for sure, huh?
{36035}{36097}Oh, yeah?|Where's she this summer?
{36101}{36146}[ Whistle Blowing ]
{36148}{36194}## [ Marching Band ]
{36430}{36508}Hey, are you here for|the mid-session performance?
{36511}{36562}Guests go in the amphitheater.|You can't be here.
{36564}{36611}Do you know where I|could find Michelle Flaherty?
{36613}{36685}Guests bring food.|Food attracts animals.|This
one time,
{36687}{36743}a bear came, and then the bear|had to be destroyed,
{36746}{36816}which means they shot it|in the head with a rifle|and
killed it and it died.
{36819}{36879}You must know Michelle.
{36883}{36933}One, two, three, four.|## [ Tubas ]
{36936}{36982}One, two, three, four.
{36984}{37055}One, two, three, four.
{37058}{37116}## [ Flute ]
{37373}{37416}That's a lot of flutes.
{37419}{37492}[ Bell Clanging ]|[ Chattering ]
{37529}{37614}Good luck. Thanks.|Good job.
{37618}{37677}Ha ve fun at your next class.
{37723}{37792}Hey, Michelle.
{37795}{37840}Jim. Holy potatoes!
{37843}{37919}You're really here?|[ Man ]|Everybody stick together.
{37922}{38004}Oh, shoot!|We're-- We're not|supposed to have
visitors,
{38004}{38015}Oh, shoot!|We're-- We're not|supposed to have
visitors,
{38018}{38079}'cause this one time,|uh... here,
{38082}{38088}this kid had these cookies--
{38088}{38135}this kid had these cookies--
{38137}{38231}Let me guess.|A bear came.|Cool.
{38234}{38287}It's like you know|all our stories.
{38325}{38380}Oh. Was that a question?
{38383}{38431}I don't know. Maybe.
{38435}{38518}Do you wanna answer it|anyway?|Michelle, um,
{38521}{38620}I left you like, uh--|like three messages|after
prom.
{38623}{38662}Really?
{38664}{38767}You didn't think|I was weird because of the way|I
acted that night?
{38770}{38857}Weird, no.
{38859}{38908}Surprising, yes.
{38911}{38967}I get nasty when I'm horny.
{38970}{39029}That's kind of|why I'm here.
{39031}{39079}Um, you remember,
{39081}{39149}was I any good...|that-that night?
{39151}{39223}Oh, wow. Geez.
{39227}{39267}How could I forget?
{39271}{39363}You sucked.|You didn't know what|the hell you
were doing.
{39366}{39451}But wasn't it fun even though|you were so terrible?
{39454}{39525}I'm sorry. "Terrible"?|I've had worse.
{39527}{39614}Oh.|Oh, sorry. I--
{39616}{39693}I-I could give you|some pointers if you want.
{39695}{39751}Really?|[ Bell Clanging ]
{39754}{39859}Oh. Oh, shoot.|Okay, wait here.|I'll meet you
in an hour, okay?
{39861}{39906}Yeah.|Oh, wait.
{39908}{39958}Cool idea.
{40119}{40178}Hey!
{40180}{40234}- What are you doing?|- Ow!
{40236}{40295}- Ooh. Ooh.|- [ Moaning ]
{40298}{40376}You're all right. Here we go.|You know you're
not supposed|to be here now.
{40379}{40464}Everyone's supposed to be in|the amphitheater.
All right.|Come on.|[ Mumbling ]
{40467}{40525}It's piss-poor to be this late.|I'm very angry
right now.
{40527}{40604}You can tell by the tone|of my voice I'm angry.|I'm
pissed off is what I am.
{40607}{40653}Here they are.|Cut 'em off.|Go, go.
{40655}{40703}Wait a minute.|Are you Petey?
{40705}{40778}Petey?|Uh, yeah, sure.
{40782}{40845}Petey! Well,|that explains everything.
{40848}{40905}All right.|Well, it's always something|with these
kids. Go!
{40907}{40989}Petey, we are just so thrilled|to have you. None
of my kids|are at your caliber.
{40991}{41107}Watch that. But we are just|so overjoyed to have
someone|with your kind of talent here.
{41110}{41155}Oh, great.|[ Boy ]|Here you go.
{41158}{41225}That's great. Oh, look at this.|Your old best
friend.|Come on. Move.
{41227}{41311}I know it's not yours,|but you are going to make|beautiful
music.
{41314}{41370}Here we go.|This is fantastic.|I'm very excited.
{41372}{41446}You just own this|and break a leg.
{41449}{41508}All right,|all right.
{41511}{41580}[ Crowd Applauding ]
{41877}{41965}-What was he doing out|wandering around unsupervised?|-Who
knows?
{41967}{42051}I'll tell you something.|I'm about fed up with
these|Tall Oaks North kids.
{42054}{42123}## [ Trombone Playing|Slowly ]
{42210}{42282}Kids, entertain yourselves.|Play along with Petey.
{42284}{42351}No, no, no, no, Petey.|Here we go.
{42353}{42412}All right, all right.|Come on, now.|A little encouragement.
{42415}{42479}Right to this spot.
{42483}{42545}Folks, he's just|a little nervous.
{42548}{42615}This isn't right.
{42618}{42663}Just blow on it, kid.|All right.
{42666}{42711}Here we go.
{42891}{42942}Uh--|[ Girl ]|Come on, Petey.
{42988}{43039}Play!|Do something.
{43253}{43305}## [ Honking ]
{43308}{43355}Special, my ass.
{43358}{43412}Come on. Give the little guy|some support.
{43415}{43467}[ All Murmuring Agreement ]
{43470}{43541}Come on, Petey.|You're doing great, partner.
{43575}{43626}[ Woman ]|Come on, honey.|You can do it.
{43628}{43666}Come on, Petey.
{43717}{43771}Oh, what the hell.
{43799}{43889}Yeah!|[ Chuckles ]|All right!
{43891}{44009}All right, Petey!|Come on, now! Come on!|[ Jim
] Yeah!
{44012}{44079}Rock and roll!
{44082}{44120}Whoo!
{44233}{44294}## [ Off-key ]
{44731}{44777}[ Crowd Gasping ]
{45059}{45111}Thank you!
{45177}{45228}Thank you, Tall Oaks.|You're beautiful.
{45357}{45427}My name is Petey!
{45429}{45487}Thank you!
{45490}{45559}And I have gigantic balls!
{45562}{45622}- [ Crowds Falls Silent ]|- [ Microphone Feeding
Back ]
{45667}{45740}I--
{45944}{46020}- Michelle--|- Not now!|Come back later. Go!
{46068}{46114}[ Scattered Laughter ]
{46116}{46171}Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey.|Come back here!
{46174}{46251}I wanna talk to you!|You are so sweet.
{46254}{46323}He is... special.
{46326}{46328}He's my bitch.
{46328}{46384}He's my bitch.
{46429}{46485}Well, Michelle|has confirmed it.
{46487}{46570}I suck.|What?
{46572}{46639}I gotta get|some practice.
{46641}{46720}Don't worry about it.|I mean, that's why we got|the
house, Jimbo.
{46723}{46824}We plop a keg on the deck,|and the girls come
in|off the beach.
{46827}{46901}It's like|a hummingbird feeder.
{46903}{46973}You think so?|I know so.
{46975}{47021}Guaranteed hotties.
{47023}{47086}Fellas, nice pad.
{47088}{47159}Good view, but...
{47161}{47243}the Sherminator sensors|detect no female life-forms|in
the vicinity.
{47246}{47350}High likelihood of|a sausage fest in progress.
{47352}{47408}The girls are coming.|I made some calls.
{47411}{47462}Yeah.
{47465}{47543}The Sherminator's|got a point, Kev.
{47545}{47639}Since when do you|start listening|to the Sherminator?
{47642}{47735}Since he made me realize|there's an abundance|of
wiener here.
{47737}{47798}I mean, look around,|dude. Dude?
{47800}{47852}[ Vicky ]|All right,|now it's your turn.
{47855}{47900}[ Oz ]|Oh, come on.|There's nothing to tell.
{47903}{47987}Hey, what's up?|What are you guys|talking about?
{47991}{48042}You know, we're just|trading war stories|about
college--
{48046}{48103}who hooked up with who,|who slept with who--
{48106}{48159}So, Vicky?
{48161}{48255}Well, there was|this one guy.|How 'bout you?
{48259}{48347}Oh, you know, there was|a few girls-- three.
{48350}{48450}Ooh, look at you.|You stud.
{48452}{48511}All right, Oz.|Now that Kevin told us,|what about
you?
{48513}{48590}You haven't had the|slightest bit of attraction|to
any girl at school?
{48592}{48660}Don't you fucking say no.|I know you did.
{48663}{48733}Even if I did,
{48735}{48810}it wouldn't be anything|more than just|a momentary
thing.
{48813}{48913}Very... uninteresting.|And how about you,|Jessica?
{48916}{49003}-How many chicks did you|sleep with this year?|-Gee,
wouldn't you like to know.
{49043}{49119}- Fuck yeah, I would.|- [ Chuckles ]
{49122}{49156}- Come on, Ozzy.|- Yeah, man. Ball.|Pool's yours.
{49156}{49212}- Come on, Ozzy.|- Yeah, man. Ball.|Pool's yours.
{49215}{49292}- Hey, Vic, you wanna play?|- Yeah, sure. You
wanna break?
{49375}{49423}What the--
{49425}{49487}Where are the|fucking females?
{49493}{49584}Jim, can't you leave|your shirt on?|You're scaring
the chicks away.
{49584}{49607}Jim, can't you leave|your shirt on?|You're scaring
the chicks away.
{49610}{49687}[ Oz ]|Dude, give him a break.
{49690}{49762}Ozzy, go deep.|Yeah, bro.|You playing?
{49766}{49818}No.
{49849}{49907}No, no, keep going.|Flag pattern.
{49909}{49967}- What are you doing?|- Fishing.
{50119}{50183}[ Groaning ]|Are you okay?
{50225}{50314}- You okay?|- Oh, man, I'm so sorry.|Is everybody
okay?
{50316}{50395}[ Chattering Indistinctly ]
{50486}{50565}- Amazing.|- [ Stifler ] Yes.
{50565}{50585}- Amazing.|- [ Stifler ] Yes.
{50587}{50642}The Force is strong|in that one.
{50644}{50698}Whoa.
{50700}{50835}The Sherminator detects|serious heat at a distance|of
two meters.
{50838}{50884}Prepare to deploy beer.
{50918}{50990}Sherman. Dude,
{50992}{51038}let me give you a valuable|piece of advice, okay?
{51040}{51086}Drop the whole|"Sherminator" thing.
{51088}{51138}Please repeat|previous statement.
{51141}{51209}Look, I know your last name|is Sherman, right?
{51212}{51333}And that rhymes with|The Terminator which was|a
big hit movie, ten years ago.
{51336}{51403}But you can't tell me|a girl's ever really|gone
for it.
{51406}{51501}System overload.|Hasta la vista, Jessica.
{51565}{51610}What a freak.
{51612}{51662}[ Chuckling ]
{51664}{51732}Vic, hey, you guys|are leaving?
{51735}{51828}You know, we barely had|a chance to hang out,|you
know, catch up.
{51831}{51907}Well, what are you doing|this weekend?|I can get
together.
{51909}{51963}Cool. Let's hang out.|All right.
{51965}{52026}Bye, Kev.|See ya, Jess.
{52105}{52171}No, no,|that's all wrong.
{52174}{52249}Thank you.|Have a nice day.|Good-bye.
{52251}{52312}So what does he mean,|"meet up"?|You
know, like hang out,
{52315}{52360}grab lunch, whatever.
{52363}{52449}I told you,|we're just friends now.|And he totally
understands.
{52451}{52538}Oh, yeah, I'm sure|he understands quite well.|He
does.
{52540}{52643}Oh, no, sir.|These are all wrong for you.|I mean,
seriously.
{52675}{52721}Sure.|Well, we're friends.
{52723}{52803}But it's not like I see her|making plans with
anyone else.|Right.
{52806}{52892}I don't see her with|a boyfriend. I think|that
puts me on deck.
{52895}{53008}- [ Laughs ]|- Hey, Vicky only slept with|one
guy since we went out.
{53011}{53116}I mean, that like makes me|50% of her entire guy-related
life.
{53119}{53164}You dipshit.
{53167}{53242}She didn't sleep with one guy.|She slept with
at least three.
{53245}{53328}- What?|- When a girl tells you how|many guys
she slept with,
{53331}{53386}multiply it by three|and that's the real number.
{53388}{53459}[ Laughs ]|Didn't you fuckers learn|anything at
college?
{53502}{53571}Kevin Meyers did not sleep|with three girls at
Michigan.
{53573}{53641}But why would he lie to me?|It's not a lie. It's
an|adjustment. The rule of three.
{53641}{53667}But why would he lie to me?|It's not a lie. It's
an|adjustment. The rule of three.
{53671}{53734}The rule of what?|Three.
{53737}{53823}A guy tells you how many girls|he's hooked up
with,|it's not even close to that.
{53826}{53903}Take that number|and divide it by three.|Then
you get the real total.
{53906}{53999}So, if Kevin's saying|it's been three girls,|it's
more like one, or none.
{54002}{54063}- None?|- Rule of three.
{54066}{54129}It's an exact science,|consistent as gravity.
{54184}{54251}[ Giggling, Chattering|Indistinctly ]
{54428}{54495}Oh, my God!
{54498}{54560}Guys!
{54563}{54615}Check it out. Lesbians.
{54663}{54707}Lesbians live here.
{54709}{54768}You know,|Mr. Homophobic Wizard,
{54770}{54860}that it is possible|for women to hold hands|and
not be gay.
{54863}{54910}Friends can hold hands.
{54912}{55013}Hey, Finch, I don't wanna hear|about you and your
boyfriends.|Go jerk off.
{55015}{55065}Unnecessary.
{55067}{55127}Tantra teaches you to hold|an orgasm over time...
{55129}{55187}in anticipation|of an ultimate moment...
{55191}{55248}to release it|upon the world.
{55251}{55303}I'm filling up|to the brim.
{55307}{55411}That's fucking disgusting!|Oh, I'm gonna throw
up.
{55414}{55416}## [ Guitar: Spanish ]
{55416}{55469}## [ Guitar: Spanish ]
{55471}{55536}[ Ringing ]
{55574}{55635}- Hello?|- Hey, Heather. You're in!
{55638}{55705}- Oz!|- How's the studying going?
{55707}{55755}I'd hardly call it studying.
{55757}{55821}I've been going|to the Picasso Museum,
{55823}{55869}hanging out at|Sagrada Familia,
{55871}{55922}going with Pierre|to the Parc Guell.
{55924}{55983}Hey, who's Pierre?|One of the guys|in the program.
{55987}{56047}He's got a girlfriend|back in France, so we've
kind of|got something in common.
{56051}{56096}Ah, that sounds cool.
{56099}{56200}Yeah, I've overheard them|on the phone at night.
{56203}{56292}And, uh, well,|it made me think.
{56295}{56426}Hey, Oz, I'm reaching under my|shirt, and I'm
rubbing myself.|Oh ho ho ho!
{56429}{56507}Oz, come on.|It's phone sex.|Help me out here.
{56510}{56580}Okay. Uh--
{56615}{56686}I'm going over to my bed.
{56688}{56767}Yeah.|And I'm lying down.
{56770}{56828}And I'm slowly...
{56831}{56912}reaching downstairs.
{56915}{56986}Grab it. Tell me|how big it is.
{56990}{57067}Listen, Heather,|I'm feeling kind of awkward.|Oz.
{57069}{57159}If we can't physically be|with each other, then
we have|to learn to be more vocal.
{57161}{57217}Right?|Right. Okay.
{57219}{57324}Okay, here we go.|I'm reaching in my pants now.
{57327}{57374}And I'm rubbing it|for you, Heather.
{57377}{57443}[ Sighs ]|And it feels so good.
{57446}{57500}Yeah, me too.|Oh, yeah.
{57503}{57548}I got--|[ Beeps ]
{57551}{57601}Call waiting.
{57604}{57650}Oh, shit. Hello?
{57652}{57711}[ Man Speaking In|Middle Eastern Dialect ]|Wrong
number.
{57713}{57760}[ Continues Speaking ]
{57763}{57863}Hey. Hello.|Wrong number.|[ Continues ]
{57866}{57942}All right, look, man.|I got my hand on my dick|right
now, okay,
{57944}{58003}and I'm trying to have sex|with my girlfriend|over
the phone.
{58005}{58106}Emir, good for you, man.|[ Middle Eastern Dialect
]
{58135}{58181}Okay.|Hey.
{58183}{58245}Sorry about that.|Where were we?
{58247}{58303}I think you were|reaching for something.
{58305}{58354}Oh, yeah.
{58357}{58476}Oh, yeah, Heather.|I'm rubbing it and|it feels
so good.
{58479}{58590}Hey, Oz, I'm touching myself.|What else do you
want me to do?
{58592}{58650}[ Stifler Imitating Oz ]|Oh, Heather, baby.
{58652}{58719}Why don't you tell me|my dick is as big as Stifler's.
{58722}{58824}- Stifler, get off!|- I am getting off just|listening
to the two of you.
{58827}{58893}- Keep going.|- I think we should try this|another
time.
{58895}{58965}Yeah, all right.|Bye-bye. I love you.
{58967}{59045}- I love you.|- Come on, you guys.|I was almost
there!
{59047}{59119}- Nice talking with you, Steven.|- Stifler, man!
{59122}{59147}[ Scoffs ]|Repressed.
{59147}{59191}[ Scoffs ]|Repressed.
{59196}{59255}## [ Rock ]
{59328}{59398}[ Giggling ]
{59427}{59463}Check it out.
{59466}{59521}Potential lesbians|leaving the building.
{59722}{59767}All right.|Now is my chance.
{59770}{59884}I need confirmation.|Stifler. Hey, man,|what are
you doing?
{59887}{59965}- [ Groans ]|Go get him.|- You ass. Stifler, get
out.
{59967}{60025}Stifler? Stifler.
{60057}{60097}Stifler?
{60124}{60209}Oh, shit, dude!|I found a dildo!
{60212}{60287}- Stifler.|- Big blue rubber dicks|for everyone!
{60290}{60337}- The people demand|rubber dicks!|- Finch, help.
{60337}{60371}- The people demand|rubber dicks!|- Finch, help.
{60373}{60431}Dildo, dildo, dildo!
{60478}{60507}- What are you doing?|- I'm looking for more|lesbian
artifacts.
{60507}{60551}- What are you doing?|- I'm looking for more|lesbian
artifacts.
{60553}{60632}Where'd you get this?|Finch's ass.
{60635}{60709}Oh, my God.|Shit!|Guys, they're back.
{60773}{60833}Stall 'em!
{60836}{60868}Come on. Come on!
{60871}{60942}- Come on. Come on.|- This is awesome!
{60944}{60998}Danielle, Amber, hi.|Hey.
{61000}{61071}Just needed the paper, huh?|Mm-hmm.
{61131}{61217}Which room? W-Which room?|I can't remember shit.|I
was too excited.
{61219}{61280}- I'm in a lesbian stronghold.|- Was it in here?
{61283}{61363}- Shit, man. Why are you|asking me so many questions?|-
Was it in here?
{61365}{61430}Maybe.|What do you mean "maybe"?|Was
it or was it not here?
{61432}{61499}Happy painting, boys.
{61502}{61559}You gotta get out of there.
{61562}{61614}They're inside.|Oh, shit balls.
{61747}{61826}- Very original, Steven.|- Don't call me Steven.
{62081}{62127}Ow!
{62129}{62205}[ Danielle ]|I can wear that|little leopard bikini
of mine.
{62207}{62271}[ Amber ]|I love that one.|It's so cute on you.
{62274}{62310}Help unzip me, please.|Oh, yeah.
{62312}{62376}Okay.|Thanks.
{62379}{62474}-Hey, have I shown you|my cute little pink shoes?|-Does
it match the pink bikini?
{62478}{62523}They're getting naked.
{62594}{62653}Cute.|Thank you.
{62752}{62810}[ Both Laughing ]
{62841}{62931}- Oh, shit.|She's de-pantsing.|- Oh, man.
{62933}{63031}Wait a minute. They can't hear|us inside? We won't
cross over|their radio or anything?
{63034}{63109}[ Kevin ]|No, man. These work|on a C.B. frequency.
{63111}{63155}This girl is so hot.
{63276}{63347}Two possible lesbians|in their bras and panties.
{63350}{63409}- Lesbians?|- Uh--
{63412}{63500}- [ Cashier ]|Did you say lesbians?|- Hot lesbians!
{63503}{63571}[ Danielle ]|That's great.
{63573}{63622}[ Amber ]|This is not gonna fit.|Look at you and
look at me.
{63624}{63702}Too big.|I'll get you|the blue stringy number.
{63769}{63814}Johnny West is missing.
{63852}{63902}Maybe you kicked it|under the bed.
{63954}{64055}- Okay, let me look.|- Wait. Didn't you have it|when
we were downstairs?
{64059}{64110}Oh, maybe.
{64113}{64182}[ Chattering ]
{64184}{64258}Guys, get the hell|out of there right now.
{64282}{64330}Come on. Come on.
{64332}{64388}It's clear!|Go, go, go!
{64524}{64579}They're coming back.
{64695}{64772}Oh, I'm just so glad|I found him. He's my|favorite
collectible.
{64775}{64823}I know.
{64827}{64867}[ Blows Kiss ]
{64871}{64958}Holy shit! There's|a dildo in my drawer.
{64961}{65048}Oh, my God! You could|have asked me if you|wanted
to borrow it.
{65051}{65114}Stop it.|Shh!
{65116}{65168}- [ Closet Doors Banging ]|- [ Muttering ]
{65171}{65246}What the hell was that?|I don't know.|Call 911.
{65249}{65333}[ All Pleading ]
{65335}{65373}No 911.|Don't call the police.
{65375}{65467}My God,|it's the painting kids.|I'm still calling
the cops.
{65470}{65517}Okay, no, no, no.|This isn't right.
{65519}{65597}Okay, look.|Stifler did break in here.|You dick!
{65600}{65660}But we just followed him in|to get him out.
{65663}{65699}[ Both Scoff ]
{65701}{65775}I just wanted proof that you|chicks are really
lesbians.
{65878}{65942}You wanna|mess with 'em?
{65944}{65995}Yeah, it'll be fun.
{65998}{66072}Let's do it.|Let's do it.
{66075}{66131}You guys... like that?
{66322}{66387}Ozzy, stand by|for confirmation.
{66427}{66489}That's a big 10-4|on the confirmation.
{66523}{66618}Sounds like your little|friends outside wanna
play too.
{66698}{66743}You won't be needing this.
{66780}{66833}Who wants me|to touch Amber?
{66864}{66923}- [ Man ] I do, I do.|- Who the hell is that?
{66926}{66965}Who's this?
{66967}{67050}Uh, this is John... Smith.
{67053}{67115}I'm turning off|my radio now.
{67154}{67256}Okay.|[ Chuckles ]|Where should I touch Amber?
{67259}{67315}Ass, baby.|Feel that ass!
{67318}{67384}Okay.|[ Giggles ]
{67387}{67458}[ Sighs ]|That's nice.|Oooh.
{67547}{67625}I know.|You feel his ass first.
{67627}{67681}Excuse me?
{67683}{67751}Yeah, yeah, I like that.|That's good.|It's good.
{67753}{67826}Yeah, so I got some painting|I should, uh-- It's--
{67829}{67896}Jim, hold on.|I can handle it.
{67899}{67958}What?|Stifler, I'm comfortable|with my sexuality.
{67961}{68020}And I would love|to see that show.
{68023}{68073}Bravo!
{68076}{68119}[ Both Groan ]
{68158}{68225}One finger... on the cheek.
{68227}{68276}We want...
{68279}{68342}palm... grasping.
{68345}{68417}Oh, that's too much.|No, no, no.
{68419}{68468}You don't touch,|we don't touch.
{68471}{68553}- Squeeze his ass, son. You'll like it.|- [ Danielle
] Come on, boys.
{68555}{68642}Jesus Christ.|Oh, shit.|[ Groans ]
{68700}{68747}I'm touching his ass.|I'm touching his ass.
{68787}{68834}Red Leader,|what's your position?
{68838}{68931}I'm touching his ass.|I'm touching his ass.|Mommy!
{68934}{68988}You can go.
{68991}{69037}That really wasn't bad.
{69039}{69098}I wanna go home.|[ Amber ]|That's too bad.
{69100}{69140}[ Giggling, Sighing ]
{69143}{69211}Never mind.|I'm staying.
{69213}{69271}Danielle is feeling|my breasts.
{69334}{69381}No way, dude!
{69383}{69478}Her breasts are so luscious.|What a wonderful
Christmas|gift you bought the boys.
{69480}{69545}[ Amber ]|My nipples are so hard.
{69547}{69615}[ Girls Giggling ]|I think I can|fix these.
{69711}{69755}[ Shudders ]
{69757}{69811}[ Jim ]|Sweet Jesus.
{69842}{69887}Your turn.
{69890}{69950}Oh, yeah!
{69953}{70040}No, no, no. Mm-mm.
{70043}{70090}Him.
{70153}{70199}Kiss.
{70202}{70259}Dude, no.
{70262}{70343}Wait. What?|Oh, yeah.|You want more?
{70346}{70406}We want more.|Go get him, tiger.
{70408}{70475}- You're gonna love it.|- [ Danielle ] Do it for
us.
{70551}{70597}Okay, dude.
{70651}{70697}One, two,
{70731}{70775}three.|[ Girls Groan ]
{70778}{70847}- That doesn't even count.|- That totally counted.
{70854}{70914}- That's how you kiss your mother.|- Don't you
say anything!
{70916}{70991}Make it real.|You do that,
{70994}{71047}we'll do anything you want.
{71050}{71119}- A-A-Anything?|- Anything.
{71121}{71169}Anything.|Anything.
{71171}{71225}You better like it.
{71228}{71263}Promise.|I promise.
{71265}{71311}I wouldn't lie.
{71349}{71401}Come on.
{71403}{71449}[ Groans ]
{71476}{71538}That is what|I'm talking about.
{71540}{71607}Ah, Kev, you can look.
{71610}{71655}Ooh!
{71657}{71702}[ Laughing ]
{71704}{71749}[ Amber ]|That's it.
{71751}{71817}Where's your tongue?
{71929}{71965}Good boys.
{71967}{72034}[ Danielle ] Very good.|Dude, you're|a fucking
lousy kisser.
{72037}{72083}What? I wasn't trying!
{72086}{72131}That's not fair!
{72133}{72180}I wasn't trying there.|I'm really--
{72183}{72223}I'm not--|No judgment.
{72226}{72292}[ Amber ] Nope.|Wait a second.|You were trying?
{72295}{72353}Fuck no!|You were trying!
{72355}{72423}Oh, my-- That's disg--|Oh, I kissed Jim!
{72425}{72471}Silence. Silence.|Silence!
{72473}{72523}[ Fitch ]|Ladies.|Yes?
{72526}{72575}As you were.
{72619}{72665}Here we go.|Let's do it.
{72855}{72914}Ooh. Ahh.
{72918}{72965}[ Danielle ]|Amber!
{72968}{73009}[ Amber Giggles ]
{73011}{73074}Honey, come on.|Food's ready.|I'm not hungry!
{73076}{73115}[ Both Sighing ]
{73118}{73182}Oh, God.|It was worth it.
{73185}{73250}Hello!|Oh!
{73253}{73290}I want more.|Hell, yeah.
{73293}{73336}Yeah.|I want more, too, baby.
{73339}{73378}Mm-hmm.
{73380}{73479}We're gonna get more|physical as soon as|we get
some--
{73511}{73570}- Hand jobs.|- Okay!
{73622}{73730}- Hand jobs.|- You, do him.
{73733}{73779}We love to watch.
{73781}{73834}I'm sorry?|[ Amber ]|Yeah.
{73837}{73888}You go. You go.|We go. We go.
{73891}{73937}[ Danielle Chuckling ]
{74001}{74051}[ Amber ]|Don't be a wimp.
{74127}{74233}Okay. It's okay.|I know what I have to do.
{74235}{74297}I need to keep|this party going.
{74334}{74398}I'm taking one|for the team.
{74403}{74487}Mother of God!|Come on, you pussies.|We had 'em.
{74491}{74554}I am not touching that.|Put that thing away,|Stifler.
{74557}{74624}Why can't you guys|be team players, huh?
{74627}{74683}I was the one doing|all the sacrificing.
{74685}{74745}[ Oz ]|Okay. Now wait|just a minute.
{74747}{74818}Stifler wanted to give|you two hand jobs?
{74820}{74911}No. Stifler wanted|one from us.
{74914}{75003}- What? Bullshit.|- No, he did, okay?|And it was
horrible.
{75006}{75047}Very horrible.
{75050}{75108}You guys, you wanna|play some "asshole"?
{75111}{75174}[ Jim Moans ]|Just watching the game, Kev.
{75178}{75226}Hey, I just wanna|do something together.
{75229}{75279}We just did something|together.
{75283}{75354}Very together.|[ Stifler ]|Ho ho ho.
{75356}{75405}Stifler Claus is here.
{75408}{75476}Now, just so there's|no confusion,
{75479}{75574}Santa Porn has just brought us|some heterosexual
entertainment.
{75577}{75623}Here you go.
{75651}{75695}All right. Here.
{75697}{75763}And the Stifmeister's|provided us some|complimentary
lubricant.
{75765}{75856}- Whack away, Jim. Whack away.|- Does this stuff
really|make a difference?
{75859}{75925}- Oh, yeah!|- Really?
{75927}{75988}[ Phone Ringing ]
{76063}{76187}Stifmeister's palace of love--|uh, straight love.
{76190}{76259}Oh, hey.|Yeah, I'm fine.
{76261}{76337}- That's Stifler's mom.|- Silence.
{76339}{76387}I didn't really think|you were gonna be|in Michigan
this summer.
{76389}{76437}Yeah, you're more than welcome|to be here.
{76439}{76561}Okay, stop by in a couple|of weeks. We're having|a
big party. Okay, bye.
{76563}{76611}Uh, Stifler, was that--
{76614}{76665}Okay.
{76667}{76713}She's coming.
{76834}{76906}Stifler's mom|is coming here.
{76944}{77006}Efforts must be doubled.
{77040}{77094}"Efforts must be doubled."
{77131}{77175}Absolutely.
{77347}{77400}[ Girl ]|Jenny, where'd you put|my clarinet?
{77403}{77465}I think I shoved it|in your box.|Oh, thanks!
{77467}{77563}Bad man.|I'm a bad, bad man.
{77607}{77657}Michelle. Michelle.|Hi. Hi.
{77660}{77707}Jim, what are you|doing here?
{77710}{77769}I, uh-- uh--|Well, I thought|you had said--
{77771}{77837}You can't just|stand out here.
{77839}{77931}[ Jim ]|Look, uh, I need your help.
{77933}{77983}Nadia's coming back,
{77986}{78031}and I don't--
{78034}{78083}I don't wanna be|this awkward,
{78086}{78151}bumbling, nervous guy|with her.
{78154}{78201}I don't wanna seem|like a dork.
{78203}{78256}Well, I know that feeling.
{78259}{78309}Spend your life playing|in the band,
{78311}{78407}it doesn't exactly give you|the ultra-cool hipster
image.
{78411}{78497}I think you're pretty cool.|Seriously?
{78500}{78537}Yeah.
{78604}{78684}Michelle, why did you|ditch me after prom?
{78687}{78770}I didn't ditch you.|I-- I just--
{78773}{78819}Our date was over.
{78821}{78894}I mean, did you|want some...
{78896}{78958}funky, weird,|next-morning good-bye?
{79001}{79087}It's not like I wanted|you to pretend you were|in
love with me or something.
{79090}{79178}Why would I pretend that?|Guys do that.
{79211}{79296}Yeah, well, I'm not|like other guys.
{79323}{79363}I know.
{79366}{79441}Okay,|I'm gonna help you.
{79443}{79489}Really?
{79491}{79554}Yeah, I feel bad|for saying that you sucked,
{79557}{79630}even though you kind of did.
{79632}{79689}Oh. Okay.
{79691}{79742}Uh, I'm just--
{79744}{79794}Let's just get started.|Okay.
{79797}{79875}Okay.|Now, I'm a hot girl.|Right.
{79878}{79947}Okay, what do you wanna do?|I wanna feel your
boobs.
{79950}{79998}No, you dingbat.
{80002}{80064}You don't just go|groping away.
{80072}{80146}You gotta preheat the oven|before you stick in
the turkey.
{80186}{80231}Okay.
{80234}{80293}Kiss me, here.
{80419}{80469}Good. Okay, now,
{80471}{80535}the collarbone--|kiss.
{80622}{80667}Good, Jim.
{80670}{80721}Oh, you're making me wet.
{80723}{80809}Holy shit. Really?|No, I was just saying that|so
you could practice.
{80839}{80890}Of course.
{80893}{80963}## [ Whistling ]
{80966}{81032}[ Chattering ]
{81384}{81492}Does direction matter-- like|clockwise, counterclockwise--|make
a difference?
{81495}{81554}Okay, Jim,|this is what|I'm talking about.
{81555}{81557}|
{81557}{81658}Your main problem is...|you're so uptight.
{81662}{81770}Do I seem uptight|about my sexual stuff?|No.
{81774}{81847}The biggest pointer|I could give you is...
{81850}{81937}you have to feel comfortable|in any situation.
{81939}{81995}Stand up.|Hmm?
{81999}{82070}- Stand up.|- Ohh!
{82073}{82162}Now, this is|a fucked-up situation.|What happened
to preheating?
{82164}{82226}We're skipping|a few chapters.|Oh, okay.
{82229}{82318}This is good.|This is good.|Obviously.
{82321}{82394}Ooh!|Gilligan's Island,|Mr. Howell.
{82397}{82443}Wh-What?
{82445}{82530}You've got to control|yourself and think of|something
nonsexual.
{82534}{82618}I haven't even touched|you yet, and you're turning|into
the Sears Tower.
{82621}{82690}I'm sorry.|Yeah, uh, nonsexual.
{82692}{82754}Right, right.|Um, okay.
{82756}{82823}Chairs.|Chairs.|Good.
{82826}{82919}Uh, uh--|Mastodons.
{82922}{82982}Uh, uh--|Good.
{82984}{83037}Cleaning my bathroom.
{83067}{83114}Dung beetles.|Good.
{83116}{83175}Yeah.|Okay. Now,|don't freak out.
{83178}{83251}I'm gonna do something|to push your threshold.|Okay--
{83255}{83308}Oh, that's cold!|What are you doing?
{83315}{83389}I just shoved|a trumpet in your ass.|Aren't instruments
fun?
{83392}{83474}Okay, I think you've just|crossed my threshold.|[
Key Rattles In Lock ]
{83476}{83543}We gotta go!
{83706}{83799}Call me in two weeks.|I'll be home then.|We can
finish lessons.
{83801}{83850}Okay.|Oh!
{83951}{83999}Pointer--|less tongue.
{84049}{84130}## [ Trumpet.: "Spanish Flea" ]
{84178}{84250}- [ Oz ]|What is it? A guest book?|- Yeah, and
look at this entry.
{84252}{84322}"Best thing was the blowout|at Tom Meyers'
place.
{84324}{84382}There he is.|"A night not soon|to be forgotten.
{84384}{84443}August '93."|It's your brother, man.|Look.
{84445}{84494}Yeah, his cottage was|right down on the beach.
{84496}{84582}Guys, this is what|our party's gotta be.
{84584}{84650}Something we'll always|remember, you know?|Yes,
definitely.
{84652}{84726}Absolutely.
{84728}{84791}- You go fish.|- Finch, we're playing gin.
{84822}{84873}Oh.
{84876}{84912}Gin.
{84912}{84920}Gin.
{85057}{85140}# Just tell me how|I got this far #
{85185}{85260}# Just tell me why you're here|and who you are
#
{85263}{85369}# 'Cause every time I look|you're never there
#
{85371}{85430}# And every time I sleep #
{85432}{85515}- # You're always there #|- Huh!
{85517}{85616}# 'Cause you're everywhere|to me #
{85619}{85730}# And when I close my eyes|it's you I see #
{85733}{85858}# You're everything I know|that makes me believe
#
{85861}{85933}# I'm not alone #
{85998}{86043}# I'm not alone #
{86123}{86244}- # I recognize the way|you make me feel #|- What
the fuck? [ Groans ]
{86247}{86322}# It's hard to think that you|might not be real
#
{86324}{86446}# I sense it now|The water's getting deep #
{86449}{86579}# I try to wash the pain|away from me #
{86581}{86645}# away from me #
{86647}{86758}# 'Cause you're everywhere|to me #
{86760}{86855}# And when I close my eyes|it's you I see #
{86858}{86999}# You're everything I know|that makes me believe
#
{87001}{87119}# 'Cause you're everywhere|to me ##
{87122}{87167}"Dear 'Jeem.'
{87207}{87295}"Chicago is beautiful,|but it would be better|if
you were here.
{87299}{87367}I'm counting the days.|Love, Nadia."
{87438}{87497}Well, I wish|you were here, Nadia.
{87896}{87920}|
{88054}{88100}[ Woman Moaning ]
{88189}{88257}Have you been dirty?|Oh, yes, baby.
{88259}{88352}I've been dirty.|Do you want me|to clean you?
{88355}{88426}"Apply a few drops|to achieve desired|lubrication."
{88429}{88510}All right.
{88587}{88673}Is that a loofah,|or are you just|glad to see
me?
{88675}{88725}Oh, what the hell.
{89041}{89108}[ Moaning Continues ]
{89170}{89218}Shit.
{89221}{89293}Ohh!
{89295}{89372}God!
{89375}{89421}I been missing out.
{89423}{89486}[ Moaning ]
{89607}{89666}Uh-oh.
{89668}{89728}Ow.
{89861}{89921}Oh. Oh, shit! Ah!
{90013}{90080}Oh, shit!
{90083}{90141}[ Ripping Sound ]|Oh! Ow! Jeez--
{90227}{90295}[ Oz ]|Everybody okay?|I'm fine.
{90298}{90345}I'm fine.|Everything's fine.
{90347}{90407}Shut the fuck up,|or I'll break down this door|and
pummel your ass!
{90410}{90475}No, don't come in here.|I'm fine. Everything--
{90478}{90535}I just fell out of the bed.|Okay, good night,
then.|You sure?
{90537}{90594}Okay. We'll see you|in the morning.|Uh, night.
{90712}{90756}## [ Rock ]
{90795}{90848}Oh!
{90877}{90931}Oh!|##[ Man Singing, Indistinct ]
{90935}{91000}Shit!|Oh, shit!
{91124}{91170}Aah!|[ Ripping Sound ]
{91172}{91227}Ow! Aah!
{91387}{91455}[ Ripping Sound ]|Ow!
{91570}{91621}[ Man On Phone ]|Poison control.|Hello?
{91623}{91671}Uh, hi, hi.
{91674}{91721}Uh, yeah.|Yeah, I kind of, uh,
{91721}{91770}Uh, yeah.|Yeah, I kind of, uh,
{91773}{91833}uh, Super Glued myself...
{91836}{91901}to, uh, myself.
{91904}{91973}No. Uh, no.
{91975}{92021}Ow. Don't, uh,|don't send an ambulance.
{92023}{92121}Look, is there anything,|uh, you know,|around
the house?
{92208}{92268}Paint thinner.
{92953}{93005}## [ Continues ]
{93242}{93294}David?
{93601}{93662}Shit.
{93731}{93799}[ Siren Chirping ]
{93801}{93856}Don't move!|Stay where you are!
{93859}{93917}Hands where|we can see 'em!
{93919}{93980}Both hands! Get the other|hand up, goddamn it!
{94018}{94075}I can't! I can't!|I'm glued!
{94079}{94174}I'm glued!|Sorry.
{94178}{94247}Relax your hands.
{94250}{94319}I'll take it|from here, okay?
{94322}{94371}[ Oz ]|Don't worry, Jimbo.|You're gonna be fine,
buddy.
{94374}{94432}Jim, this happens|to the best of us.
{94555}{94623}Left foot first.|Easy does it. Good.
{94625}{94713}- Watch your head.|- All right. Take a seat.
{94715}{94807}- Ahh!|- Excuse me, sir.|Are you a family member?
{94809}{94880}Fuck, no!|This is just|too good to miss!
{94883}{94951}Okay, sir, you're just|gonna have to wait here.|All
right?
{95080}{95178}[ Chuckles ]|This summer's|turning out to be great.
{95480}{95528}[ Slaps Thigh ]|How you doing, son?
{95531}{95593}I've been better.|Ah.
{95640}{95703}[ Dad ]|Boy, that doesn't look|too bad, Jim.
{95707}{95754}Good job, Doctor.
{95756}{95825}The swelling should subside|in about eight or
nine days.
{95827}{95875}Eight or-- Eight or nine--
{95913}{95980}Beach party's in a week.|Nadia's coming.
{95983}{96075}Oh. Oh.
{96077}{96164}Doctor, my-my son|has a party in seven days,
{96167}{96217}and there's a young lady coming...
{96219}{96311}that he's been waiting to--
{96314}{96368}he's been waiting to get with.
{96371}{96454}I'd tell your son|to keep his pants on|during
that party.
{96457}{96550}Oh, yes, yes. Believe me,|I will be doing that.|It
goes without saying.
{96552}{96612}But if his pants...
{96615}{96667}decide to come off|during the party,
{96670}{96743}could he have|full use of his,
{96746}{96833}um, penis?
{96835}{96887}Okay.
{96938}{96991}This should shave|a couple of days off.
{96994}{97052}Oh, good.
{97055}{97107}Thank you, Doctor.
{97109}{97166}Jim,
{97168}{97235}that's good news.
{97237}{97314}This has been|a good-news day, son.|Here. Put
this on.
{97317}{97363}Little chilly|out there.
{97364}{97388}|
{97421}{97486}Well, here we are.
{97489}{97537}You know, Jim, um,
{97539}{97628}I think we should keep|your mother in the dark|about
the incident tonight.
{97631}{97711}I think the whole glue|thing might get her|a little
queasy.
{97714}{97798}I don't know how I get|myself into these things.
{97891}{97936}But thanks for understanding.
{97939}{98002}You've been really cool.
{98004}{98052}I mean, between this and,
{98055}{98144}you know--
{98147}{98243}You know, you maybe|Jimbo or Jumbo...
{98247}{98321}or Jimbodinny|to these guys in here,
{98323}{98387}but I want you to know|there are two people...
{98390}{98472}who still remember where|James Emanuel Levenstein|came
from.
{98518}{98594}We're awful proud|of you, son.
{98596}{98639}Thanks, Dad.
{98642}{98657}Don't forget|your penis cream.
{98657}{98709}Don't forget|your penis cream.
{98870}{98956}## [ Finch Humming ]
{99051}{99113}[ Moaning ]
{99175}{99244}[ Finch ]|That was it.
{99247}{99340}Right there.|That was a pure|tantric moment.
{99343}{99435}The ficus, the water--|it was all erotic.
{99438}{99551}One more stimulant,|I would have had|full release.
{99554}{99657}Finch, stay the fuck|away from that ficus.
{99660}{99750}- That's a jizz-free ficus.|- [ Dazed Whoop ]
{99753}{99852}There he is. Morning,|Jimbo. How's the twig|and
giggle berries, man?
{99855}{99935}Oh, very colorful.|My dick looks like|a paint-by-numbers.
{99937}{100055}[ Chuckles ]Jim, you're|the only guy I know whose
dick|needs an instruction manual.
{100058}{100108}[ Laughing ]|[ Phone Rings ]
{100179}{100225}Casa de Stifler.
{100259}{100325}Oh, hey.
{100327}{100398}What, you're here now?|No, that's cool.
{100400}{100462}You know, if you want to|hang out with these
guys.
{100466}{100518}Okay, then.|I'll meet you out front.
{100594}{100663}- Hey, Stifler, was that--|- Eat shit, Shit
break.
{100711}{100771}[ Door Closes ]|She's here.
{100829}{100892}My lady has arrived.
{100950}{100995}I gotta prepare.
{100998}{101065}Here we go.|Great.|Stifler's mom is here?
{101067}{101119}This could be|a disaster.
{101122}{101168}[ Oz ]|Whoa.
{101171}{101232}Not unless Stifler's mom|drives a moped.
{101235}{101283}Moped?
{101350}{101429}Fuckers, fuckers, fuckers.|How you doing, boys?
{101431}{101512}- That's Stifler's little brother.|- What are
you doing here?
{101515}{101574}Pussy, man.|I'm here for the pussy.
{101577}{101623}Take a number.
{101625}{101707}Gentlemen, why all the noise?|Everybody knows
that this is|my special day.
{101709}{101808}- What is that?|- Is that a fucking dress?|Are
you wearing a dress?
{101811}{101881}Shit break, meet|my little brother.
{101883}{101928}Little brother,|meet Shit break.
{101931}{102011}- That's your brother?|- Yes.
{102079}{102127}My lady's not coming.
{102166}{102235}So my entire...
{102237}{102285}stockpile is wasted,
{102288}{102342}and I look ridiculous!
{102379}{102425}Excuse me.
{102499}{102545}[ Shouts ]
{102547}{102604}That didn't look|too good.|No.
{102607}{102726}Let's go find your room.|So, where are|the fucking
females?
{102795}{102855}I can't believe|I finally got you alone.
{102857}{102906}That only took,|what, six weeks?
{102935}{102998}So, uh, are you alone too?
{103002}{103061}- Yep.|- Good.
{103063}{103151}I'm all alone.
{103154}{103220}Guess what I had|in mind?|[ Chattering ]
{103299}{103357}Hey, Marco, can you|get your balls off me?
{103359}{103431}- Thanks.|- Heather, what the hell's|going on
over there?
{103433}{103519}Uh, nothing.|It's just my flatmates.
{103522}{103577}I guess this is kind of|a lost cause, huh?
{103579}{103651}Yeah, I guess so.|I can't wait.|See ya this
weekend?
{103653}{103735}- I can't wait either.|- Bye-bye.
{103830}{103895}- Surprise!|- Holy-- Nadia!
{103898}{103979}You're here? You're here.|What are you doing
here?
{103982}{104028}Jim, I got so tired|of sightseeing.
{104031}{104087}But you're--|you're early.
{104089}{104178}Okay.|Nice to know you.
{104181}{104243}I will leave.|No!
{104246}{104327}No. Uh, don't--|don't leave.
{104330}{104378}Don't leave.|No leaving.
{104381}{104443}Uh, no. Uh--
{104447}{104546}It's just, I'm not|gonna be ready--
{104549}{104655}I mean, the party|won't be ready, uh,|until
Saturday.
{104695}{104753}I can... stay here|until then?
{104755}{104819}Yeah.
{104822}{104873}I'm gonna be right back.|Is that okay?
{104875}{104931}Okay.|Nadia.
{104933}{105023}Who's in my room.|Now. Holy shit.
{105056}{105104}[ Michelle ]|All right, I've got a plan.
{105107}{105167}Okay. How about|I come back with you...
{105170}{105264}and you say, "Hello, this is|Michelle,
my girlfriend. "
{105267}{105351}And obviously,|Nadia won't expect you|to hop
in the sack.
{105355}{105439}And then we break up|the day of the party.
{105443}{105490}And you're all healed|and back on the market.
{105526}{105586}- You're evil.|- No way!
{105589}{105639}I'm like Cupid.
{105642}{105699}And I know how|to make a girl jealous.
{105701}{105747}This is gonna be fun.
{105749}{105804}[ Jim ]|I'm sorry I didn't|tell you sooner,
{105807}{105856}but we just started seeing|each other a few
weeks ago.
{105891}{105963}Um-- But|I'd really love it...
{105966}{106011}if you stayed here.
{106014}{106074}I think you should stay|and have fun at the
party.
{106078}{106162}Good for you, Jim.|Of course I will stay.
{106166}{106236}That's grea-- Aiee!|That's my nipples!
{106239}{106305}She just loves my nipples.
{106308}{106415}## [ Rock ]
{106418}{106480}# If you could only|read my mind #
{106483}{106559}# You would know|that things between us #
{106562}{106596}# Ain't right #
{106596}{106642}# Ain't right #
{106644}{106697}# I know your arms|are open wide #
{106699}{106765}# But you're a little|on the strange side #
{106767}{106860}# I can't lie #
{106863}{106980}# Your one vice|is you're too nice #
{106983}{107078}# Come around, now|Can't you see #
{107082}{107177}# I want you|all tattooed #
{107179}{107293}# I want you bad #
{107295}{107403}# Complete me|Mistreat me #
{107406}{107501}# I want you to be|bad, bad, bad #
{107503}{107552}# Bad, bad #
{107623}{107679}# If you could only|read my mind #
{107683}{107761}# You would know|that I've been waiting #
{107763}{107824}# So long #
{107827}{107904}# For someone almost|just like you #
{107907}{107973}# But with attitude|I've waited #
{107975}{108053}# So come on #
{108055}{108168}# Get out of Clothes time|Pullout those highlights
#
{108171}{108277}# Come around, now|Can you see #
{108279}{108384}# I want you|in a vinyl suit #
{108387}{108452}# I want you bad #
{108455}{108524}# Bad, bad ##|[ Jim ]|Oh, no.
{108527}{108560}Oh, my God.|You still broken?
{108560}{108593}Oh, my God.|You still broken?
{108595}{108643}No.
{108645}{108692}I'm fine.
{108695}{108773}I might have to...|actually go through with
this.
{108823}{108913}Jim, what's the big deal|with Nadia, anyway?
{108915}{109009}I mean, okay, so she's|50,000 times hotter...
{109011}{109057}than most girls, but...
{109059}{109110}come on,|it's just sex.
{109112}{109157}Oh, no.
{109159}{109218}You saw the thing|on the Internet.
{109220}{109272}Did it look like|I might have had...
{109275}{109335}a slight interest|in Nadia then?
{109379}{109417}Add another year to that.
{109420}{109479}Okay.
{109481}{109611}Hey, why don't you bring|Nadia to the concert
first?|It'll be a cool date.
{109613}{109681}We'll see how things go.
{109799}{109894}Michelle,|you have been great.
{109897}{109942}Thank you.
{109944}{110001}Anytime.
{110145}{110191}Come on.
{110265}{110318}You ready to break up?
{110320}{110377}You big, stupid dummy!
{110379}{110432}Theater is so cool!
{110435}{110515}[ Michelle ]|I don't care if you are the best|lay
I've ever had in my life.
{110517}{110592}I hate your guts anyway.|Don't say that.
{110595}{110715}And I don't care|if you did give me|ten orgasms
in a row,
{110718}{110795}because you smell|really bad.
{110798}{110870}No! I smell|really bad!
{110873}{110956}Because we've been having|so much sex, and--
{110959}{111042}and I haven't showered,|and I wanna shower!
{111082}{111175}So, don't you go being all|super-sexy guy anymore,
{111178}{111242}because I am now|impervious...
{111245}{111327}to your unrelenting machismo|and sexual ardor.
{111330}{111427}And that includes|fucking me in the ass!|So
there!
{111612}{111661}We had|something special.
{112095}{112141}[ Car Engine Starts ]
{112537}{112595}Hey, what's up, dog?|What's up, dog?
{112597}{112658}## [ Rock, Indistinct ]
{112662}{112711}Vicky. Hey.|Hey.
{112714}{112795}I'm so glad you came.|You want something|to
drink or--|Hey.
{112797}{112872}Can I help you?
{112875}{112939}Kevin.|That's my date.|What?
{113315}{113366}You-- You saved them all.
{113370}{113432}How sweet.
{113435}{113481}You don't think|I'm a dork?
{113550}{113655}Whatever you are, Jim,|it is what I like.
{113699}{113747}Kevin left.|Didn't look good.
{113750}{113798}Kevin left?
{113801}{113866}Just wandered|down the beach.
{113960}{114010}You okay, Kev?
{114085}{114128}Wanna tell us|what's up?
{114171}{114246}Wanna feel Finch's ass?
{114309}{114391}No, I-- I went|to say hi to Vicky,
{114393}{114459}and she was there|with a date.
{114462}{114522}You hooked up with|three girls this year.|You're
doing fine.
{114525}{114589}Rule of three, Oz.
{114718}{114785}I guess I was living|in the past-- wanting|to
party with you guys...
{114787}{114847}and be with Vicky,|it's just like high school.
{114850}{114910}You remember|that day after prom?
{114913}{114978}You know, we made|a toast to the next step.
{115011}{115073}I guess I never took it.
{115127}{115207}My brother said that|by the end of the summer|I'd
see the big picture.
{115210}{115257}And I see it.
{115259}{115346}No matter what, times change|and things are
different.
{115349}{115431}The problem is,|I don't want them to be.
{115434}{115483}You know, Kevin,|I haven't moved on either.
{115486}{115590}I've been obsessed|with the one woman I can't|have
a real future with,
{115592}{115688}other than a very kinky,|extremely warped one.
{115724}{115778}I gotta find|a new goddess.
{115815}{115896}It's gonna take patience,|but I've been celibate|all
summer.
{115899}{115958}Yeah, you kinda get|used to it, though, huh?
{115961}{116037}Are you insane?
{116039}{116155}Hey, look, Kev,|different does not|necessarily
mean worse.
{116157}{116234}As a matter of fact,|I think things are|just
getting better.
{116237}{116312}Or am I gonna have to drag|your ass back to
that party|and prove it to you?
{116315}{116371}I'll walk.
{116497}{116553}## [ Rock ]
{116616}{116640}|
{116731}{116784}Wow!
{116787}{116861}You know, you have|beautiful eyes.
{116863}{116961}- Oh, you're sweet.|- That's a really nice top.
{116963}{117045}Oh. Thanks.|You're welcome.
{117047}{117124}- Wanna fuck?|- Are you serious?
{117127}{117202}Come on, baby.|Give it to the Stifmeister.
{117204}{117268}- I think you better--|- Your loss.
{117271}{117349}Wow. You know,|you have beautiful eyes.
{117352}{117436}Come here, dude.|Come on. You're making|an ass
out of yourself.
{117439}{117521}You're ruining my mojo.|And you're not|the Stifmeister,
okay?
{117523}{117580}It takes years to develop|true Stifmeister style.
{117583}{117662}Come on, man!|I just wanna see some boobs.
{117664}{117710}Hey, Pop-Tart.|Dream on, midget.
{117712}{117791}Excuse him. Come here.|Take this. You're on
cop watch.
{117794}{117850}Go out in the driveway.|See any cops, call me,
okay?
{117852}{117906}Steve--|All right.
{118149}{118243}Gentlemen, uh,|this appears to be a party.
{118315}{118398}Guys, if you'll excuse me,|I'm gonna go look
for Nadia.
{118400}{118454}Good luck.
{118457}{118512}Ahh.
{118516}{118578}[ Jim ]|So what was this year|like for you?
{118580}{118633}Did you miss high school?
{118635}{118721}Well, no. When you travel|as much as I do,
{118723}{118796}you get used to|moving on.
{118799}{118862}But I have great memories.
{118949}{119021}- Wow, can we go in there?|- The lighthouse?
{119024}{119090}Yeah.
{119093}{119143}Yes.
{119146}{119191}Yes, we can.
{119194}{119239}How romantic.
{119298}{119361}Jim, come on.
{119605}{119651}Wow!
{119654}{119699}Wow!
{119736}{119813}Oh, it's beautiful!
{119815}{119861}Cool!
{119919}{120023}Jim, I have told you my|memories from high school.
{120026}{120071}What are yours?
{120074}{120120}Oh, uh--
{120123}{120230}Well, uh, you.
{120233}{120286}You have not changed.
{120392}{120463}Jim, relax.
{120467}{120578}We are just,|how do you say,|tooting our horns.
{120581}{120652}Actually, that is|quite difficult.
{120655}{120703}How do you mean?
{120706}{120783}Well, this one time|at band camp,
{120786}{120831}I--
{120914}{120969}Holy shit.
{120995}{121046}What? Tell me.
{121049}{121096}Uh, well, uh,
{121099}{121171}this one time|at band camp,
{121174}{121241}I got stuck|playing this trombone.
{121244}{121318}And I can't play|anything at all.|So I totally
sucked.
{121322}{121368}And everyone thought|I was this Petey guy,
{121371}{121441}but I didn't know|what to think, so I just|kept
playing and playing,
{121443}{121489}and I didn't know|what I was doing.
{121491}{121564}It was so funny!|[ Chuckling ]
{121567}{121645}I gotta go.|What? Why?
{121647}{121703}Nadia,
{121706}{121756}please don't take this|the wrong way,
{121759}{121817}but, but you're--
{121819}{121893}you're everything|that I used to want.
{121895}{121968}And as much|as I may really,
{121971}{122063}really regret|what I'm about to do,
{122094}{122141}there's somebody else|I want to be with.
{122143}{122216}You-You want|the band geek?
{122219}{122318}Nadia, I am a band geek.
{122353}{122377}I just never|joined the band.
{122377}{122419}I just never|joined the band.
{122519}{122574}You go get your geek.
{122619}{122663}Someday I will find mine.
{122666}{122730}# Well, my mind is now|playing tricks on me
#
{122733}{122792}# And the world is crashing #
{122795}{122857}# I think about it #
{122947}{123030}## [ Continues, Indistinct ]
{123115}{123194}Hey, um, Kevin Meyers.
{123197}{123249}Hi. Sorry I was|a dick before.
{123251}{123319}It's okay, man.|My name's Brett.
{123322}{123389}Uh, could you|give us a sec?|Sure.
{123423}{123475}Look, you don't|have to do this.
{123478}{123537}Maybe I was|being selfish...
{123539}{123620}in wanting to be|your friend.
{123623}{123686}Maybe it's just|not gonna work.|Victoria,
{123690}{123774}I would much rather have you|as a friend than
not have you|in my life at all.
{123979}{124024}Whoo-hoo-hoo!|Whoo!
{124024}{124049}Whoo-hoo-hoo!|Whoo!
{124051}{124142}Yeah-hah!|Party on!
{124144}{124191}Yeah! Yeah!
{124276}{124360}- I don't know. From the|lighthouse all the
way--|- Hey, handsome.
{124429}{124527}Heather! Hey.|Hi.
{124531}{124564}What are you doing here?
{124567}{124626}I was gonna pick you up|at the airport in, like,|two
hours.
{124630}{124684}I took an earlier flight,|and I thought I'd
surprise you.
{124687}{124779}Yeah, you did.|Kinda weird without|the phone,
huh?
{124782}{124835}We'll get used to it.
{124838}{124917}Come on. I wanna|hear all about it.|We'll grab
you a drink.
{124919}{125004}Steve, this cop-watch|thing is horse shit.
{125007}{125077}Hello?|[ Crackling ]
{125079}{125141}Man, this sucks.
{125143}{125190}[ Amber ]|Who is it out there?
{125268}{125330}It's the Stifmeister, baby.
{125334}{125379}Is that so?
{125481}{125547}Life's a bitch,|isn't it?
{125595}{125674}It's all right.|You don't have to|say anything.
{125676}{125734}I'm used to girls|ignoring me.
{125736}{125782}Or making fun of me.
{125784}{125833}"Come on, Sherman.|Be the Sherminator."
{125874}{125946}Like the movie.|How clever.
{125948}{126023}I-I get it, okay?
{126026}{126071}Maybe I am a geek.
{126075}{126134}Whatever.
{126187}{126259}Yes! Yes, you are!
{126319}{126365}All right.
{126407}{126499}I... am the Sherminator.|Ohh!
{126501}{126584}A sophisticated|sex robot sent|back through
time...
{126587}{126646}to change the future|for one lucky lady.
{126649}{126718}I am lucky lady?
{126720}{126834}That's right, Nadia.|You've been targeted|for
Shermination.
{126836}{126837}|
{126837}{126899}Come with me|if you want to live.
{126903}{126961}Oh! Oh, no!
{126986}{127019}Help!
{127019}{127049}Help!
{127078}{127167}- Ohh! Fuck me, geek!|- Affirmative!
{127170}{127228}No fucking way!
{127378}{127454}Forget it.|Like you have a chance.
{127822}{127867}Cheers, bud.
{128001}{128071}Hey, Steve,|look what I found.
{128074}{128133}- Dude, don't touch the shirt.|-Just look.
{128191}{128237}Hi.|Hey, there.
{128240}{128306}Brilliant.|You found lesbians.
{128309}{128403}[ Scoffs ]|Good luck trying to break|through
that force field.
{128405}{128484}Lesbians?|We never said that.
{128627}{128692}- What?|- We never said that.
{128743}{128820}Oh.|Oh, man.
{128823}{128939}I will do anything--|anything-- to sleep|with
you chicks.
{128942}{129048}Okay? I'll grab|every guy's ass|in this room.
{129051}{129126}I'll caress it, even.|I'll shave some ass|if
they need it.
{129128}{129182}Oh, yeah.|You heard me.
{129184}{129304}It's true.|I'll kiss everybody here.|Dudes,
chicks, everybody.
{129307}{129398}Because lam comfortable|with my sexuality.
{129400}{129478}Oh, yeah.
{129481}{129540}At least have a drink|with the Stifmeister.
{129575}{129621}All right.|That's fair.
{129665}{129711}All right.
{129765}{129820}You truly are|a Stifmeister.
{129823}{129920}- Welcome back to the party.|- Steve, those
are my lesbians.
{129923}{129975}Ladies, I am down|with the funky shit.
{129978}{130048}Like what?|One time at this party,|I was drinking
champagne--
{130097}{130164}Thank you. Thank you.
{130167}{130247}Our next soloist|will be Michelle Flaherty.
{130249}{130318}[ Applause ]
{130565}{130695} ##
{130804}{130870}## [ Off-key ]
{130939}{130983}Petey?
{131090}{131142}This kid is killing me.
{131201}{131269}You suck, retard.|I'm not retarded.
{131269}{131280}You suck, retard.|I'm not retarded.
{131283}{131332}I'm a very special boy.
{131335}{131377}## [ Note Blasts ]|[ Gasping ]
{131379}{131436}## [ Off-key ]
{131496}{131558}# To live the life|that's in his dreams #
{131612}{131726}- # At night he lies awake|and he wonders #|-Jim!
{131729}{131776}How's this|for a band camp story?
{131856}{131941}# If I can be like that #
{131943}{132046}# I would give anything|just to live one day
#
{132048}{132135}Come on, guys.|Let's hear it for Petey!
{132138}{132221}# If I can be like that|what would I do #
{132223}{132318}# What would I do #
{132320}{132420}# Yeah, yeah, yeah #
{132423}{132498}# Oh, yeah #
{132502}{132601}# Falling into less #
{132604}{132663}# In dreams #
{132665}{132782}# And run away #
{132784}{132800}## [ Rock ]|[ Cheering ]
{132800}{132857}## [ Rock ]|[ Cheering ]
{132967}{133012}[ Men Chanting ]|Do it! Do it!|Do it! Do it!
{133015}{133090}Do it! Do it!|Do it! Do it!
{133771}{133822}Good for them.|Yeah, it's awesome.
{133907}{133965}Want to dance?|Yeah.
{133967}{134027}We'll be back.|Come on, baby!
{134199}{134286}# It's one thing to complain|but when you're|driving
me insane #
{134289}{134395}# Well, then I think it's time|that we took
a break #
{134397}{134498}# 'Cause I'm in too deep|and I'm trying to keep
#
{134500}{134592}# Up above in my head|instead of going under
#
{134595}{134689}# 'Cause I'm in too deep|and I'm trying to keep
#
{134692}{134796}# Up above in my head|instead of going under
#
{134799}{134895}# Instead of going under #|# Instead of going
under #
{134899}{134995}# Instead of going under #|# Instead of going
under #
{134999}{135093}# Instead of going under #|# Instead of going
under ##
{135095}{135143}You know, there's|only one word|for that party:
{135143}{135177}You know, there's|only one word|for that party:
{135179}{135232}bitching.|Out of control.
{135273}{135322}Dude, am I gonna|have a hangover?|'Cause I want
one.
{135475}{135548}[ Chattering ]
{135551}{135600}Good-bye.|See ya.
{135603}{135675}Let's go to our page.|Oh, my gosh. We have to|write
about this party.
{135679}{135747}This party was crazy!|Look at my date!|He's
passed out!
{135750}{135805}You drank him|under the table.|He couldn't hang
out.
{135856}{135907}# She holds her head #
{135910}{135991}# Within her hands #
{135994}{136069}# Quietly reeling #
{136071}{136201}# If only he could understand #
{136203}{136258}# What she's feeling #
{136260}{136399}# She moves into me #
{136402}{136456}# Just to kiss my shoulder #
{136456}{136468}# Just to kiss my shoulder #
{136471}{136581}## [ Continues Indistinct ]
{136584}{136630}Oh!
{136744}{136823}Best summer ever,|huh, fellas?|Absolutely.
{136826}{136931}Sorry things didn't|work out for you, Finch.|You
kidding? Things are great.
{136933}{136987}I have all|the time in the world.
{136990}{137039}So, are we gonna|do this every summer?
{137042}{137098}Oh, yeah, we are.|Of course we are,|gentlemen.
{137100}{137161}Well, we're gonna try.
{137265}{137289}|
{137411}{137489}Sweet car.|It is sweet.
{137623}{137679}Stifler's mom.|Hey, Finchy.
{137682}{137728}How did you know|I was here?
{137731}{137782}I called a couple|of weeks ago.
{137785}{137844}Didn't Steven tell you that|I was gonna drop
by sometime?
{137847}{137911}I guess it, uh,|slipped his mind.
{137955}{138028}Hey, what's your name?
{138031}{138076}Jeanine.
{138109}{138203}Jeanine.|Okay, uh, well,
{138206}{138282}I've been thinking,|and, you know,|I'm 19 years
old.
{138285}{138384}There's a whole world|out there. I can't be|obsessed
with one woman.
{138387}{138477}-Just can't be.|- I'm glad you're|learning,
Finchy.
{138513}{138595}Good.|Good.
{138632}{138723}-You want to get it on?|-You better clear your
schedule.
{138808}{138856}See you guys later.
{138859}{138907}Where are you going, man?|What about Dog Years?
{138911}{139001}Uh, give me, like,|uh, three days.
{139047}{139103}[ Jim ]|Wait, was that--|Was that who I think--
{139106}{139165}- No.|- Yeah. Yeah!
{139167}{139227}I think it was.|I think so too.
{139229}{139294}Son of a--
{139297}{139343}Who the hell was that?
{139346}{139423}That was, uh--|That was-- Someone was lost.
{139426}{139523}Looking for the lake.|Yeah, all|turned around.
{139526}{139602}What a dumb ass.|The lake's right there.
{139739}{139817}Incredible.|How does Finch|get so lucky?
{139819}{139879}Ah. What are you|worried about?|You got a girlfriend
now.
{139882}{139952}Everything in.|Let's go. Pony up.|Dog Years
awaits.
{139959}{140031}Yeah, I do.|Yeah, I do.
{140034}{140083}I have|a girlfriend now.|Yeah, you do.
{140086}{140144}She's my girlfriend.|All right, Jimbo.
{140147}{140192}Let's go! Let's go!
{140195}{140247}Hey, where's Shit break?|The movies.|Took the
bus.
{140250}{140315}Coffee.|Wait a second.
{140318}{140370}Who the fuck|was in that car?
{140373}{140436}# And here's to you|Mrs. Robinson #
{140439}{140505}# Jesus loves you more|than you will know #
{140508}{140554}[ Finch Moaning ]
{140556}{140592}[ Mrs. Stifler ]|Oh, Finchy, I missed you.
{140592}{140633}[ Mrs. Stifler ]|Oh, Finchy, I missed you.
{140635}{140746}Yeah. Oh, God.|Jeanine. Jeanine.|Call me Stifler's
mom.
{140748}{140792}[ Loud Moaning ]|[ Car Alarm Blaring ]
{140792}{140801}[ Loud Moaning ]|[ Car Alarm Blaring ]
{140803}{140882}[ Shouting ]|Oh, Stifler's mom!
{141035}{141123}# I don't want to be|an ass anymore #
{141126}{141191}# Sick and tired|of all the promises #
{141194}{141249}# That I made to you #
{141286}{141345}# And I pray to you #
{141403}{141493}# And I know you think|you've heard it all before
#
{141495}{141565}# Something tells me|that you think I'm stupid
#
{141567}{141625}# When I say to you #
{141657}{141734}# That what I say is true #
{141763}{141865}# Too much lying|Too little trying #
{141867}{141963}# This time it's gonna be|the last time #
{141966}{142047}# I say the last time again #
{142051}{142133}# This time is gonna be|the last time #
{142136}{142235}# What I say #|# The last time again #
{142415}{142505}# I don't want to be|redundant anymore #
{142507}{142630}# Skipping like a broken record|you can play
again #
{142665}{142739}# But I'll do it all again #
{142771}{142873}# I'll put it behind me|then you rewind me #
{142876}{142961}# This time is gonna be|the last time #
{142964}{143058}# What I say #|# The last time again #
{143060}{143138}# This time is gonna be|the last time #
{143140}{143245}# What I say #|# The last time again #
{143803}{143897}# Once again|I must have been #
{143899}{143989}# Trying to wash away the sin #
{143991}{144083}# 'Cause I wake up|bathroom floor #
{144086}{144181}# I won't do this anymore #
{144247}{144315}# Starting tomorrow #
{144352}{144428}# This time is gonna be|the last time #
{144431}{144530}# What I say #|# The last time again #
{144533}{144612}# This time is gonna be|the last time #
{144615}{144717}# What I say #|# The last time again #
{144719}{144798}# This time is gonna be|the last time #
{144800}{144898}# What I say #|# The last time again #
{144901}{144981}# This time is gonna be|the last time #
{144983}{145080}# What I say #|# The last time again #
{145176}{145271}## [ Ends ]
{145562}{145629}# And it's always|little things #
{145631}{145746}# That to the surface brings #
{145815}{145876}# Space you need to breathe #
{145879}{145990}# Before the curtain call #
{146063}{146123}# The light that leads the way #
{146126}{146240}# Before you hit the wall #
{146309}{146369}# The mountain|that you climb #
{146371}{146458}# Just to take a fall #
{146460}{146546}# The blind among the blind|And I say #
{146548}{146621}# There's an echo|'round my heart #
{146623}{146712}# Dragging me down #
{146715}{146794}# Beneath the waves|in silence I fall #
{146796}{146870}# There's a halo|above my head #
{146873}{146962}# Spinning me 'round #
{146965}{147047}# 'Cause I don't know|if I'm alive or dead #
{147050}{147126}# There's a dagger|in my hand #
{147129}{147247}# Bleeding me dry #
{147435}{147516}# And all we have to lose #
{147519}{147632}# Is time #
{147684}{147869}# And what we lose|we leave behind #
{147935}{148093}# Stay around|and we will shine #
{148796}{148842}## [ Jazz ]
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