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American Pie 3: American Wedding 2003. English subtitles. Субтитры к фильму на английском языке.

{1}{1}25.000
{710}{787}Well, Michelle, we did it.|Happy graduation.
{926}{1004}You know,|living at my parents' house,
{1006}{1079}th-that's, um...|that's a temporary thing.
{1082}{1171}Uh, we've been going out|for, what, three years.
{1174}{1236}You're not, like, getting bored|with things, are you?
{1238}{1345}Michelle, l... I'm gonna ask you something|that I've never asked you before.
{1347}{1425}Is it kinky?|I don't think so. No.
{1427}{1546}You don't have to be embarrassed if you want|to add more spiciness to our relationship.
{1578}{1628}Actually, um,
{1630}{1697}maybe you could just, uh,|you know,
{1700}{1746}use your napkin.
{1748}{1841}My napkin?|Mr. Levenstein.
{1843}{1878}Yes.|You have a phone call.
{1880}{1945}Excuse me.|Thank you.
{1947}{2036}- Hello. - Jim, it's Dad.|Uh, you left the ring at home.
{2038}{2084}The box is empty.|But-But I'm on my way,
{2086}{2136}and I've got the...
{2138}{2200}I've got the ring, so|don't panic, son. Okay?
{2202}{2247}Bye-bye.
{2250}{2313}Who was that?
{2316}{2381}Uh, that was my dad.
{2383}{2454}That was, uh, my dad. That was, uh...|He couldn't get through on...
{2456}{2505}I didn't answer my cell.|So he was, uh,
{2508}{2555}getting all, uh...|was getting all worried.
{2558}{2629}You know how he is. But everything is,|uh... everything is okay now.
{2632}{2681}Everything is, uh...|Everything is perfectly fine.
{2683}{2745}I think I know what you're gonna|ask me.
{2803}{2874}And it's okay.|L... I don't have to use my napkin.
{2876}{2946}- Wha...|- I've got my own techniques.
{3030}{3090}Michelle, where... where are you going?
{3092}{3161}Michelle? Hey. Hey.
{3163}{3210}Okay.
{3213}{3263}Okay, Michelle. Michelle.
{3266}{3365}Okay. Oh, my God.|Oh, my God, Michelle.
{3368}{3422}Psst!
{3425}{3489}Michelle, I think you need to stop.|Okay, keep going.
{3542}{3616}Oh, my God.|Michelle. Michelle.
{3648}{3695}Michelle! Oh, my God.
{3722}{3777}Oh, my God. Okay.
{3779}{3841}Well, I made it. Where's Michelle?|The washroom?
{3844}{3933}You know, I was so nervous she was|gonna spot me. Here's the ring, son.
{3936}{3990}Ohh.|Let me tell you something.
{3993}{4058}This is some ring.|Look at the rock on this baby.
{4061}{4131}Mr. Big Spender. Hope you didn't|blow your wad on this, son.
{4134}{4193}Not yet.|Your mother and I...
{4196}{4257}could not be more|thrilled for you, Jim.
{4259}{4349}I mean, we're so happy. And I know|you're excited. I can see it in your face.
{4352}{4421}- I mean, you look like you're ready to burst.|- Uh-huh.
{4423}{4495}I mean, your cheeks, they're flush.|I wish your mother could be here.
{4498}{4556}Not me. That's what I wish.|You know, this is...
{4558}{4624}this is one of those moments, Jim,
{4626}{4681}that you're gonna remember|for the rest of your life.
{4684}{4737}- Yes, it is.|- You bet it is.
{4739}{4793}You bet it is.
{4796}{4873}I cannot believe my son|is gonna pop the question.
{4875}{4924}- What was that?
{4926}{4974}Th-That?
{4977}{5029}That? Knockin' on wood.
{5032}{5115}And what is this, uh, popping...|popping what? What question?
{5118}{5173}You are...|Oh, you're a wreck. What...
{5176}{5225}You need some air.|You need some air.
{5228}{5277}- Walk me to my car.|- No, I'm not walking you...
{5280}{5347}- Listen to me.|This is for your own good.
{5350}{5397}Oh!
{5400}{5464}Your penis!
{5556}{5587}Watch your penis.|I got it.
{5590}{5637}Your pants.|I got the pants!
{5640}{5686}I got the pants!|Please!
{5688}{5739}Everybody, please.|Everybody just calm down here.
{5742}{5796}Everybody, just quiet!|Lower your voice.
{5852}{5915}It's disgusting!
{6002}{6057}Now,
{6059}{6125}I came here to do something...
{6128}{6193}And, damn it, I'm...|I'm gonna do it.
{6321}{6377}Michelle.
{6446}{6511}Hello, dear.
{6561}{6618}Michelle Anabeth Flaherty,
{6620}{6678}I love you...
{6709}{6761}more than I could...
{6764}{6828}ever explain at this particular moment.
{6928}{6989}Dad. The ring.
{7027}{7074}Oh.
{7173}{7225}Will you marry me?|Yes.
{7498}{7545}My son.
{7811}{7868}I'm the happiest man in the world.
{7986}{8037}We should all be so happy.
{8830}{8885}Cheers, gentlemen, sweetheart.
{8939}{8981}I'm impressed.
{8984}{9048}Marriage is a binding,
{9050}{9124}unifying, eternal,
{9150}{9205}never-ending, permanent...
{9207}{9276}chaining together|of two people.
{9322}{9368}Jim, have you thought this through?
{9370}{9426}Yes. Yes, Finch.|Thank you.
{9429}{9489}I had actually been trying to figure it|out for a while.
{9492}{9557}You know, when is the right time?|Is there a right time?
{9560}{9667}And finally I realized, duh, you love|the girl, marry her.
{9670}{9734}Aw.
{9737}{9796}Oh! Let's dance.|Dance?
{9799}{9865}No.|No, you have to learn sometime.
{9867}{9935}Come on!
{9938}{10053}Don't laugh at me.
{10056}{10144}Okay, okay.
{10146}{10197}I'm just glad that's not me.
{10200}{10326}Finch, you don't think there's one girl you're|destined to spend your entire life with?
{10356}{10404}They're all for me, Kevin.
{10406}{10493}Not, uh... Not so bad, huh?|All right.
{10496}{10560}Do this.
{10562}{10608}I'm sorry.
{10610}{10671}Well, the wedding should be|rather entertaining.
{10962}{11034}Bro, that's it?
{11036}{11085}There's no keg anywhere.
{11118}{11178}Jim.|Hey, John.
{11180}{11233}The food and the drink|are really bad.
{11236}{11281}"F" for presentation.
{11284}{11350}The good news for you...|What's that?
{11352}{11411}We're gonna be|ushers at the wedding.
{11476}{11525}This is amazing.
{11528}{11591}I don't recognize half the people in|this place.
{11594}{11640}At least they all brought gifts.
{11642}{11705}Hello.|Hello. I'm Mary Flaherty.
{11708}{11762}Oh, hello.|Harold Flaherty.
{11764}{11832}Please, please come in.|Lovely to meet you.
{11835}{11898}We've been expecting you.|How was your trip?
{11900}{11981}- Delightful.|- Who's excited about the wedding?
{11984}{12038}Anxious might be more accurate.
{12040}{12086}Oh, w-w-we've never met your son.
{12088}{12134}You'll get to meet him.
{12136}{12183}Rudy and Sam would like to meet him too.|Oh, yes.
{12185}{12238}Better bring them in from the car.|They've been cooped up.
{12240}{12287}Oh, for heaven sakes.|You brought your sons?
{12289}{12343}Our dogs.|We never travel without them.
{12346}{12394}Oh, my goodness.|Well, honey,
{12396}{12487}why don't you go get those critters out of|the car and we'll start on some cocktails?
{12490}{12587}Ah, thank you.|Right. I'll, uh, get the dogs.
{12590}{12662}There's one thing that'll|make this wedding perfect.
{12664}{12711}No Stifler.
{12713}{12772}Well, that's one dick|we are not inviting.
{12774}{12837}- Motion seconded.|- Motion carried.
{12840}{12949}So, Finch, what are you gonna do|with that fancy NYU diploma?
{12952}{13042}I'll frame it.|Then I'll write my memoirs.
{13044}{13131}Well, you should come to law school, man.|You know I could use the company.
{13133}{13210}Kids, Michelle's parents are here.|Come on. We're waiting.
{13212}{13251}Oh, crumbs on the shirt.|That's bad. Okay. That's fine.
{13286}{13335}I'll change. I'll change.
{13378}{13431}Fuckers.
{13675}{13752}Well, polish my nuts and|serve me a milk shake.
{13902}{13949}What's up?
{14010}{14058}That's right.
{14159}{14233}Oh, cake, huh?|Hope it's good.
{14287}{14386}Oh, gee. Thanks for inviting me|to the graduation party, fucker.
{14519}{14595}Oh. Fuckin' right, doggy!|That's good cake!
{14598}{14633}Holy shit!
{14635}{14668}Hi. How are you?|Congratulations.
{14670}{14677}Hey.
{14775}{14849}Congratulation, jism.
{14852}{14900}Excuse me. Stifler.
{14903}{14947}Hey, Jim.|Stifler.
{14949}{15003}- What are you doing here?|- Happy fuck day, ass mouth.
{15005}{15057}Put the cake down.|Check it out. I made it myself.
{15060}{15145}That's very cute. What happened to my|invite? Got lost in the mail, fuckface?
{15148}{15203}I don't want to discuss this. Quiet!|Oh, quiet yourself.
{15248}{15302}I think I can spell...|Seriously, man. Seriously...
{15304}{15355}Jesus! Damn it, Stifler.
{15358}{15411}Jim, look what you did.|Look what I did?
{15414}{15477}Look at this shit.|What am I supposed to do now?
{15480}{15546}Are you happy now, man?|Why are you here?
{15548}{15619}My dick looks like a corn dog.|I got cake all over my balls.
{15621}{15683}Jim, honey.|Shit.
{15685}{15755}The Flaherty’s are waiting.|You think he's upstairs, honey?
{15757}{15825}Oh, you're fucked now, Jim.
{15927}{15995}Stifler, get up.
{15997}{16068}This dog's great!|Is it weird that it feels good?
{16104}{16150}All right.
{16152}{16216}What about the dining room?|I know you'll just love him.
{16219}{16289}- Jesus, Stifler.|- Whoo-hoo-hoo-hoo!
{16292}{16349}Stop enjoying it so much.|- Lick it off!
{16352}{16405}Whoo-hoo-hoo.!
{16408}{16469}Son of a... You little shit.
{16472}{16540}- You gotta take your pants off, man.
{16595}{16675}- Jim.|- No, it's not what it looks like.
{16677}{16741}- What are you doing, son? Jim.|- My dogs!
{16744}{16821}Don't go in there. Lord knows what|they'll do to you. I love this dog!
{16824}{16893}- I-I-I was just trying to get him off, Dad.|- That is your son?
{16896}{16941}Back away from the animal.
{16944}{17005}Hey, great party.|Uh, Mr. And Mrs. Flaherty, I presume.
{17008}{17067}Hey, where are you going?
{17070}{17133}Well, uh, lunch is, uh, served.
{17136}{17227}L-I really hope that, uh...|that-that we can just...
{17230}{17301}that we can all just forget about|this and-and-and move on...
{17304}{17369}and start again...|start again fresh.
{17372}{17478}Jim, if you hope to be the provider and|protector for our firstborn daughter,
{17480}{17526}you have a long way to go.
{17528}{17573}Thank you, sir.
{17576}{17629}They think you're an angel...
{17632}{17713}and-and I'm...|I'm just some ungrateful dog-rapist.
{17716}{17800}They just think they raised|a proper, little band girl.
{17803}{17928}And-And besides, sometimes it's...|it's nice to be a little more traditional.
{17931}{18024}How so? How-How do you mean traditional?|I'm thinking about the wedding.
{18057}{18118}Well, it's just this one day.
{18120}{18206}One day where-where everyone's|eyes are on me for a change.
{18208}{18268}I've just never walked into a room|and...
{18270}{18343}and had everyone go,|"Ooh," and, "Ahh,"
{18346}{18406}and, "Isn't she elegant?"
{18409}{18501}That is exactly how our wedding is|going to be.
{18504}{18548}I promise.
{18601}{18694}Shit, I've got a frosted ass crack.|Hey, Finch,
{18696}{18771}you want this for here|or to go?
{18773}{18847}"A witty saying proves nothing."|Voltaire.
{18849}{18924}"Suck my dick."|Ron Jeremy.
{18965}{19022}Oh, boys.|Anybody seen the bride's parents?
{19025}{19060}No? Hmm.
{19062}{19113}Wait a second.
{19115}{19157}Wait a second.|Come on, Stifler.
{19160}{19205}This isn't a graduation party.|Time to go.
{19208}{19293}Wait. Hold on.|Jim's getting married, isn't he?
{19295}{19350}Holy fuckin' shit!|This is major!
{19353}{19459}Do you have the slightest idea of how important|this is? We get to have a bachelor party.
{19462}{19535}Yes! We celebrate the death of Jim|with a party in his honor.
{19538}{19590}Chicks and boobs.|Tits and ass.
{19593}{19672}Titties, ta-tas, casabas, bazoongas|all up in our friggin' faces!
{19674}{19733}Buck up, fellas.|Show some enthusiasm.
{19735}{19829}It's gonna be fuckin' great.|Oh, my God!
{19831}{19924}Finch, he-he does make|a good point.
{19926}{19974}Yeah, he does.
{20049}{20105}You never heard me say that.
{20108}{20177}I do not deserve|a girl this cool.
{20179}{20236}Michelle said the wedding|was doable, right?
{20238}{20289}A wedding.|A wedding, yeah.
{20291}{20377}You know, I promised her her wedding...|you know, the wedding of her dreams.
{20380}{20420}Okay.|What's the problem?
{20422}{20478}Dancing. Uh, she wants...|she's gonna want to dance.
{20481}{20552}You know, there's that whole tradition:|The first dance at the reception.
{20555}{20617}She's gonna wanna dance|Fred Astaire kind of shit.
{20619}{20673}I can't do that. I can't... She learned|all that from band camp.
{20714}{20767}Okay, so you take lessons,|you know, right away.
{20770}{20875}Lessons. Okay. I have to convince her|parents that I'm not a shithead.
{20878}{20933}Challenging.|Indeed, challenging.
{20935}{20985}But doable.|What else?
{20988}{21033}What else?|I don't know what else.
{21036}{21092}That's the thing.|She cares too much to tell me.
{21094}{21159}She doesn't want me to worry|that she might be worried.
{21162}{21207}So I'm worried.
{21210}{21240}Recon.
{21288}{21363}You mean, like-like spying on, uh...|like spying on Michelle?
{21366}{21422}Spying is deceitful.
{21450}{21536}Extra attention|means you're concerned.
{21538}{21645}This is... This is true. This is good.|Guys, here's to the next step.
{21648}{21717}Would you please shut up with that|stepping? Put your glass down.
{22456}{22540}We'll find a wonderful place somewhere.|I promise. We'll keep looking.
{22645}{22711}Is everything okay in here?|The study can get a little chilly.
{22714}{22765}Do you have enough blankets?|We're fine. Thank you.
{22767}{22833}L-I was kind of hoping that, uh...
{22836}{22925}that someday soon|we could have a little talk.
{22928}{23020}I'd really like to tell you why I think I'll|make a good husband.
{23022}{23073}Whenever you get a chance.
{23076}{23151}- Oh, why is that?|Come on.
{23212}{23301}See, I was saying that soon...|we could talk.
{23304}{23410}This... This right now is-is sort of|the preliminary talk...
{23413}{23495}before the future... longer talk,
{23498}{23609}which would be like a...|a quiet, uh, private dinner talk.
{23611}{23669}Let him finish.
{23718}{23764}I'm talking to you.
{23766}{23836}Shh.|- Okay.
{23899}{23947}Good talking to you.
{24038}{24127}No. No, these aren't|gonna work.
{24159}{24205}Wow.
{24207}{24313}You guys in a sporting goods store.|Very good.
{24315}{24391}Hey, Finch,|I think they got your size.
{24394}{24439}Aw, beautiful.
{24442}{24493}Jim needs to learn|to dance for his wedding.
{24495}{24555}You know, I think he's screwed.
{24558}{24625}Of course he's screwed.|He's getting married.
{24628}{24673}I can't wait to see this disaster.
{24676}{24741}What makes you think|you're invited?
{24894}{24976}I already called up Jim's mom,|got the info.
{24978}{25024}I'm preparing|for the festivities.
{25026}{25125}It's time for me to boom-boom with|the bridesmaids, Finch-fucker.
{25128}{25197}'Cause I'm gonna hang out|with my wang out.
{25242}{25311}And I'm gonna rock out|with my cock out!
{25314}{25396}Ooh, yep, that's|what I'm talking about.
{25398}{25453}All right, Stifler. Um,
{25455}{25513}this-this is a little, uh,|difficult to explain.
{25538}{25583}Look, you're... you're okay.
{25586}{25653}You're okay.|L-l-I mean, uh... I mean, I like you.
{25655}{25725}Yeah, great.|You can blow me after practice.
{25727}{25777}I'm working, dude.|Well, dude...
{25780}{25869}- Come on. Work it! Hustle!
{25872}{25952}See, my mom didn't know that there|was a misunderstanding. Push it! Move it!
{25954}{26016}- You're not invited!|- Hold!
{26102}{26165}Dude, how the hell do you even|think you're getting married?
{26168}{26249}I've been looking out for your sex|life since high school. You what?
{26251}{26318}Ohhhh! Ohh!
{26370}{26424}The first tits|this guy ever saw...
{26426}{26469}were because of me.
{26471}{26532}The first girl he ever hooked up with...
{26534}{26594}was at my party at my cottage.
{26596}{26656}That girl is the girl he's marrying.
{26658}{26721}The Stif-man showed him the way.
{26723}{26804}- Can I get a "Hallelujah"?|- Hallelujah, Stifler!
{26806}{26857}But, my fuckers,
{26860}{26932}this mofo right here does not want|the Stif-meister,
{26934}{26995}the grand, fucking facilitator|to attend the wedding.
{26998}{27077}Who sucks donkey dick?|Jim sucks donkey dick!
{27080}{27156}Jim sucks donkey dick!|The answer's no. Okay? I'm sorry.
{27158}{27204}The answer's no.|I can dance.
{27206}{27277}What?|I can dance.
{27279}{27349}Jim sucks donkey dick!|Jim sucks donkey dick!
{27352}{27414}Five, six, seven, eight.
{27459}{27552}Okay. Now-Now what|exactly is this here?
{27554}{27628}Left box turn.|Left box turn.
{27630}{27702}Hi. Stop looking into|my eyes. Sorry. Sorry.
{27704}{27752}How do you...|How do you know how to do this?
{27754}{27812}My mom made me take it for three fucking years.|Yeah?
{27814}{27875}Yeah, I hated it.|No, you're really good.
{27878}{27937}Uh, you should take ballet|or something.
{27939}{28031}Fuckface! What part of "This sucks my ass"|do you not under-fuckin'-stand?
{28034}{28117}This is exactly what I'm talking about,|Steven. You can't behave like this.
{28120}{28200}L-l-lf you want to come to the wedding,|I'm sorry, you cannot act like this.
{28202}{28248}Are you saying|I'm impolite or something?
{28250}{28308}Impolite would be|an improvement. Look,
{28310}{28391}just... just try not to be,|uh, you know, uh,
{28394}{28441}you.
{28484}{28529}Fuck this shit.|It's not worth it.
{28532}{28582}Hey, wait, Stifler.|Stifler, hold on.
{28585}{28661}Wait. Okay. Wh-What if, uh... What if you,|uh, plan the bachelor party?
{28664}{28745}With a dildo show?|Sure.
{28747}{28817}Look. Just... If you can find the time,|uh, to fit it in,
{28819}{28862}go ahead, surprise me.
{28865}{28915}Sorry, chief. That only|gets you halfway there.
{28918}{28950}Why? Why ha...|What do you mean?
{28953}{29026}I need assurances that I'm gonna get|some quality action at this wedding.
{29029}{29074}I'm sor... I can't...|I can't make that promise.
{29077}{29137}Well, let me put it to you|this way, Jimbo.
{29140}{29237}No pussy, no dancing. Okay?
{29240}{29367}No pussy, no dancing.|How's that for polite?
{29482}{29544}Jim, your suspicions|are confirmed.
{29546}{29605}Michelle wants a dress|that she can't get.
{29607}{29704}The dress she wants is Amsale.|They have a store in Chicago.
{29706}{29758}Now, if we leave right now,
{29761}{29803}we can get there by the time they close...|a three-hour drive.
{29844}{29888}A three-hour drive?|Kick fuckin'ass.
{29891}{29949}Are we going to Chicago|to see titties?
{29952}{30031}We are talking about getting Michelle|a dress in Chicago.
{30034}{30082}Now, please, vanish.
{30085}{30140}Hey, Finch, what's the capital|of Thailand?
{30143}{30188}Bangkok!
{30227}{30279}Dude...|Hey, I got shotgun.
{30433}{30480}Let's get this dress shit over with.
{30483}{30546}The strip bar has got|free hot wings before 7:00.
{30577}{30631}Now, Jim, let me handle this.
{30633}{30686}These are my people.|They're gay?
{30688}{30774}No, you bleeding imbecile.|They have style. They're cultured.
{30777}{30854}- They're sophisticated.|- So they're gay.
{30856}{30926}So, mademoiselle,|I'm sure that you can appreciate...
{30928}{31017}that monsieur here is stuck right between|Scylla and Charybdis.
{31020}{31090}Yes, I'm afraid he's no Ulysses.
{31092}{31180}- Okay, what's happening here?|- You need to speak to my dressmaker.
{31183}{31286}That's who would actually make the dress.|And I'm afraid Leslie has gone for the day.
{31528}{31608}All right. She-She said she'd probably be|at one of these bars here on Halstead.
{31611}{31675}I say we split up and ask around|for a Leslie Summers.
{31677}{31723}Right.
{32100}{32145}Hey there, sweet little thing.
{32148}{32218}Hey there, you sweet manly thing.
{32220}{32279}You know, I really love your shirt.|Do I know you?
{32282}{32351}I'm Jennifer.|Well, Jennifer,
{32353}{32416}just relax, take it slow...
{32419}{32464}and let the good times roll.
{32467}{32535}'Cause Daddy's a regular here.|Do you want to get a drink?
{32537}{32592}You're goddamn right I do.|Whoo-hoo!
{32621}{32691}Whoo. Two cold ones.
{32694}{32778}Hey, you know, my friend would really|dig your vibe. Will you wait here?
{32781}{32835}Sure thing, babe.|Good.
{32838}{32883}All right.
{32886}{32932}How you feeling, sexy?|Pretty good.
{32935}{32987}Whoa. You have a deep voice.
{32990}{33048}That's not all.
{33051}{33096}Oh, right.
{33099}{33162}You look really cute tonight.|Thanks.
{33164}{33234}I guess. What the...
{33291}{33346}Oh, hey.|Gettin' a little frisky.
{33348}{33410}Oh. Game over.
{33412}{33468}What's happening here?
{33530}{33575}Hey. Any luck?
{33578}{33646}- Not so much.|- All right. Let's, uh...
{33722}{33781}This is Bear.
{33784}{33843}Hey.|Wow. You are a bear.
{33896}{33966}- Yeah.
{33968}{34015}How much you bench?
{34017}{34078}- How much you weigh?|- Why?
{34081}{34131}You wanna try|and pick me up?
{34134}{34186}Yeah, I think I could.
{34188}{34244}Yeah, I bet you could.|You are big.
{34247}{34300}I could use|a guy like you on my team.
{34303}{34418}Are you... Are you talking about|our team or an actual team?
{34420}{34478}What the hell is "our team"?
{34480}{34526}Hi. Where's the girl?
{34528}{34574}What the fuck|are we talking about?
{34576}{34642}You need to take|another look around.
{34766}{34859}- Hey, honey.! - Oh, my God.|What the fuck is going on?
{34926}{34994}- Come on.|Is that all you got?
{34996}{35067}Pussy!
{35069}{35130}I, uh... I must have came|to the wrong place. Stifler.
{35132}{35183}Stifler.|Oh, man.
{35186}{35235}Hey.|Oh, it's so good to see you.
{35238}{35295}L... How did you get up the nerve|to check out a gay bar?
{35298}{35366}Yeah. Really don't wanna talk about it|right now. I just wanna go home.
{35368}{35418}- Your friend here was just leaving.|- Eat shit.
{35421}{35484}Did you find Leslie?|Fuck your stupid dressmaker, man.
{35487}{35570}- You guys know Leslie Summers?|- Uh, we're trying to find her.
{35611}{35685}You know what? I think you guys are|out of luck. Why don't you go home?
{35688}{35743}No. Y-You know Leslie... He knows Leslie S...|Okay, look.
{35746}{35812}My friends and I just drove|all the way from Michigan...
{35815}{35879}to find my fiancйe the wedding dress|that she deserves.
{35882}{35968}Now, we need Leslie to make it for us.|Can-Can you please help us find her?
{35972}{36054}I'm sure Leslie always helps|associates of assholes.
{36095}{36160}What are you looking at?|I'm not a steak.
{36163}{36254}Listen, breeder, not every gay man|wants to have sex with you.
{36256}{36324}Oh, yeah?|Listen up, ass jockey.
{36327}{36384}If I were gay, you'd want me.|Really.
{36387}{36443}Really. I got style.
{36445}{36511}I'm cultured.|I'm sophisticated.
{36514}{36615}And all that just radiates|from your oh, so sexy self.
{36618}{36663}That's bullshit.
{36666}{36714}Everyone wants a piece of the|Stif-meister.
{36799}{36865}Right! Yeah!
{36890}{36943}Without a doubt!
{36946}{36992}- I'll show you fuckers.|- Bye.
{36995}{37039}Everybody say, "Bye. '"Bye.
{37041}{37102}Bye.
{37104}{37179}Bye.|Good luck with the dress.
{37250}{37297}Give us a drink.
{38023}{38089}Mother of God.
{38488}{38543}Bitch!
{38721}{38806}Whoo-hoo.!
{38809}{38870}What is this, a dance-off?
{38932}{38970}Oh, yeah?
{39869}{39928}Go, big boy.!
{41139}{41184}I love you!
{41187}{41233}What?
{41235}{41297}Fabulous. Seeing that|was worth anything.
{41299}{41370}Look, I'm Leslie Summers,|and you've got yourself a dress.
{41413}{41462}Thank you. Oh, my God.|Thank you.
{41464}{41523}Thank you.|Thank you. Thank you.
{41526}{41614}Yeah, no problem.|Hey, who's your friend? Uh, K-Kevin.
{41739}{41790}Was that the best night|ever or what? Stifler,
{41793}{41845}are you... are you kidding me?|It was amazing.
{41847}{41919}Hey, guys!|Hey, hey.
{41921}{42018}Hey, when you get your bachelor party|together, I manage some girls in town.
{42020}{42092}Real ones.|All right.
{42122}{42192}Call me. Damn, Stiffy,|you got some moves.
{42366}{42462}Told you that guy|wanted to fuck me.
{42465}{42541}I can't believe this. They're really|gonna make the dress for me?
{42543}{42636}They are expecting your call.|Go ahead. This is so cool. Oh.
{42639}{42689}I love you.
{42691}{42739}Thank you.
{42835}{42893}Well, that worked out.
{42895}{42977}Well, maybe it's time we have|that special dinner chat.
{42979}{43028}I'll have turkey.
{43135}{43180}Thanks for helping out.
{43183}{43247}We're so close, and there's still so|much to do.
{43311}{43346}Cadence!
{43617}{43699}Hey.|Hi.
{43701}{43791}Cadence, this is Paul Finch. Finch,|meet my younger sister, Cadence.
{43794}{43858}Nice to meet you.|You're reading Descartes.
{43860}{43906}Yep.
{43908}{43984}Cogito ergo sum.|"I think, therefore I am."
{43987}{44063}Hungry.
{44065}{44135}Hungry.
{44138}{44190}So, when's Mark getting in?
{44192}{44275}Uh, let's see,|that would be never.
{44278}{44345}Did you guys break up?|How tragic.
{44347}{44400}Uh, sorry, Paul Finch.|Girl stuff.
{44565}{44671}Just stay calm. I'm available,|she's available. It's all good.
{44700}{44773}She's a beautiful girl,|and you're you.
{44808}{44867}I dumped him.
{44869}{44962}But it was Mark. I thought|you really liked him. He was nice.
{44964}{45079}Yeah, but sometimes nice isn't so nice.
{45082}{45130}W-Wait. Hold on.|Let me get this straight.
{45133}{45214}He didn't want to do it. He said he|didn't want to ruin what we had...
{45216}{45262}by deflowering ourselves.
{45264}{45310}Who the hell uses|the word deflower?
{45359}{45440}That's like something Mom would say.|Yeah.
{45443}{45519}And I'm starting to realize that Mom and|Dad's idea of appropriate behaviour...
{45522}{45568}might be a little bit different than mine.
{45600}{45646}Mitch, you're in love.|Shh.
{45648}{45699}You're getting married.|I mean, what's this like?
{45702}{45787}It's like it's...|I'm never gonna be able to explain it.
{45790}{45898}I wanted us to write our own vows for|the wedding, and now I can't do mine.
{45901}{45956}L... How do you explain love?
{45959}{46028}Uh, l-I guess|I wouldn't know.
{46031}{46107}I don't think I've ever|felt that way about a guy.
{46109}{46181}Oh, someday you will.|Maybe.
{46183}{46271}But in the meantime, I don't think it would|hurt to get a little rowdy this weekend.
{46274}{46327}Jim's got single friends,|right? Yes.
{46329}{46412}- Think Finch is a possibility?|- Oh, Finch is boneable.
{46415}{46480}Yes, he is boneable.
{46563}{46660}Dickhead. You do not send shit|to my office at school.
{46663}{46724}Hey, Stifler. Why don't you come in|and make yourself comfortable?
{46727}{46799}Your letter made a great impression on|Coach Marshall when he read it.
{46802}{46856}Let me just refresh your memory,|partner. "Dear Steve,
{46859}{46951}I will be forever in your debt if you teach|me to dance like you did in the gay bar."
{46954}{46999}I put serious thought|into that letter.
{47002}{47094}"Don't push me 'cause I'm|close to the edge.
{47096}{47179}I'm trying not to|lose my head." Uh-huh.
{47181}{47228}Uh-huh.
{47268}{47338}These are really nice. I mean,|for a bridesmaid dress.
{47340}{47399}- At least something you can actually|wear again. - Wear again.
{47401}{47480}But you don't think|it's too sexy, do you?
{47483}{47572}I mean, I don't want to seem slutty or anything.|I'm trying to attract a decent guy here.
{47575}{47666}It's a wedding.|They'll all be decent guys.
{47668}{47739}I just don't feel quite like a virgin in it.
{47742}{47787}Oh!
{47851}{47928}So, you guys have to be psyched|to be done with college.
{47931}{48011}I mean, I swear, I'm running out of|room in my brain for everything.
{48014}{48075}There's always room for|Plato and Aristotle.
{48078}{48150}Some of my favourites.
{48177}{48226}Excuse me, guys.
{48229}{48300}Finch,|she thinks you were being sarcastic.
{48303}{48391}Okay. It's so good to see you.
{48394}{48463}You want some help? Here. Let me...|Let me help you out there.
{48466}{48550}There you go. Okay.|You keep fighting the good fight, sir.
{48603}{48649}It's great.
{48651}{48698}That was really sweet of you.
{48700}{48774}Yeah. I love old people.
{48818}{48889}Hey, I hate to be nosy|and impolite, but, um,
{48891}{48960}do you know Jim Levenstein and|Michelle Flaherty? Yeah.
{48963}{49022}Are they here?|Well, I'm Cadence, Michelle's sister.
{49024}{49098}I had no idea.|I'm their good friend Steven.
{49100}{49159}Well, it's nice to meet you.|Yeah, you too.
{49161}{49227}Well, they're around town doing|some wedding stuff. That's cool.
{49230}{49307}But there's still a few of us in the|other room if you want to join us.
{49310}{49423}I don't know. I mean, you look so nice,|I feel underdressed.
{49454}{49526}Well, I think you look great.|Thank you.
{49528}{49612}Oh, here they are.|Hi, boys. Don't stand up.
{49643}{49708}- The dads aren't here yet?|- I'll go find him.
{49711}{49771}Now, which one of you|is the best man?
{49774}{49870}Jim didn't pick just one.|Or I mean, he-he couldn't decide.
{49872}{49959}- Hey, Paul. Hey, Kevin.|- Mom, I want you to meet Steven.
{49962}{50069}He's friends of Jim’s and mine and,|oh, everyone's.
{50071}{50123}You look very familiar,|Steven.
{50126}{50183}Really? Oh, I'm afraid|we've never met. Oh.
{50185}{50236}Oh. Well, we have now.
{50239}{50318}Oh, looks like you found|Samantha's Sweets.
{50320}{50392}Oh, yes.|Isn't their chocolate just to die for?
{50395}{50455}- Oh, well, you have no idea.|- Actually, I do.
{50458}{50515}I love chocolate more than life itself.|More than life itself.
{50518}{50575}Yes.! I was just saying|to your friends that...
{50577}{50650}I have something|very precious here.
{50653}{50704}What is it?
{50707}{50792}Michelle's grandmother's...|my mother's... wedding ring.
{50795}{50847}Isn't that precious?
{50850}{50915}But since all of you|are the best man,
{50917}{50963}I don't know who should|ho-hold onto it.
{50965}{51014}- I think it's best if l...|- Oh, um...
{51039}{51123}I think you should get to know us first|and then decide.
{51151}{51219}You are such a gentleman, Steve.
{51222}{51298}I hear that all the time, but it never gets old.|Aw.
{51300}{51353}Hey, Paul, uh, do you have a camera?
{51355}{51423}How thoughtful.
{51426}{51503}I must have forgotten|my camera at home, Steven.
{51506}{51563}Oh, m-maybe you could take,|like, a mental note.
{51565}{51643}- I won't forget this moment.
{51645}{51700}I bet you won't.|Would you care to join us?
{51703}{51751}I would love to.|Thank you. Well, come on.
{51754}{51827}Lovely to see you fellas.|Thank you.
{51951}{52002}Oh, amazing.
{52004}{52056}What the hell is he doing|near my flowers?
{52059}{52119}I love the way the tulips|accentuate the, um...
{52122}{52190}- What do you call those again, sir?|- Double Lisianthus.
{52192}{52263}Lisianthus.|Double "Lisianthums."
{52265}{52319}What a pretty name.
{52387}{52466}I told him to be nice,|or-or he couldn't come to the wedding.
{52468}{52548}I will take care of this. I will take care of this.|Hey. Hey, James.
{52551}{52606}Oh, great. Come on over.|Oh, great. Come on over.
{52608}{52663}See if I forgot anything.|I don't think... Oh. Oh, oh.
{52665}{52723}We're having a great time.|I think I've got it all.
{52725}{52771}Oh, look, look, look, look.
{52774}{52831}- Sahara and Desert Rose...
{52834}{52887}for your bridesmaids' bouquet.
{52890}{52955}Oh, give me that.|Smell this.
{52958}{53003}It's fantastic.|Fantastic.
{53006}{53070}And, oh... Oh. Oh!
{53072}{53118}Oh, oh, oh!
{53120}{53212}Look at this.
{53215}{53307}Oh, boy. Let's go look at|the candelabrum, honey.
{53310}{53363}I think with the Summer Blossoms.|Mm-hmm.
{53365}{53411}Cutie.|Thank you for everything.
{53413}{53476}What do you think, girls?|Isn't this adorable? Bye, Cadence.
{53479}{53555}Okay, I know... I know what you're doing.|Look. Have you seen yourself?
{53557}{53632}I can't believe you're doing this.|Just calm down, dude.
{53635}{53680}It's all set.|What's set?
{53683}{53765}I'm gonna teach you to dance|like a "Baryshiniankov."
{53767}{53826}Oh, yeah.|He is pretty good.
{53828}{53910}Jim, he's not doing it to be nice.|He's doing it to bone Cadence.
{53912}{53989}Look, maybe we should give him a chance.|You know, I think... I think...
{53991}{54074}that underneath all the fucks|and shits and blow mes,
{54077}{54175}there's a very sensitive person|who is just thirsty for acceptance.
{54178}{54226}That's-That's what I think.
{54228}{54338}Oh, Jim, you've gotta stop masturbating.|It's melting your brain.
{54341}{54407}Observe the fuckin' Stif-meister.
{54409}{54455}What is his defining characteristic?
{54493}{54540}He uses the F-word excessively.
{54543}{54589}Thanks, man.
{54591}{54666}But I also have confidence.|You're one big floppy cock.
{54669}{54720}Look at you.|You've gotta stand like a man.
{54723}{54780}Your posture tells your partner|where to go.
{54783}{54832}Okay. Okay.|Okay?
{54835}{54882}Follow my lead.
{54909}{54990}This is the waltz.|Waltz. Okay.
{54992}{55051}Waltz. Okay.
{55104}{55170}That's pretty good.|You're fuckin' right it's good.
{55172}{55231}I'm gonna save your ass|in this wedding.
{55234}{55292}Pretty soon you're gonna|want me to shave your balls.
{55295}{55371}Should I shave my balls? Do you shave|your balls? How do you do it?
{55374}{55423}Dude, no.
{55459}{55515}L... l... I'm just...
{55518}{55564}Shaving.
{55568}{55637}You know, there's nothing like|a local pub.
{55639}{55685}Mm-hmm.|It's like real America...
{55687}{55774}without all that corporateness and catchy jingles.|Well, what's wrong with a good jingle?
{55776}{55839}I think it was Voltaire who said,
{55875}{55966}"A jingle witty proves everything|for my friends and I."
{56010}{56079}- Cadence.
{56081}{56127}I didn't know you were gonna be here.
{56129}{56183}You're just in time|for Voltaire's greatest hits.
{56186}{56263}Voltaire?|Stifler, please, who was Voltaire?
{56265}{56311}Someone much wiser than you,|I'm afraid, Finch.
{56337}{56419}Actually, I'm getting a little burned out|on all the intellectual stuff.
{56421}{56467}Yeah. Me too.
{56469}{56563}Being smart is so hard.
{56613}{56667}I'll give you some intelligence.
{56698}{56760}Voltaire can suck on my balls.
{56803}{56840}What?
{56843}{56902}It's about time somebody|finally came out and said it.
{56905}{56956}Hey, I'm gonna give you a quote to live by.
{56959}{57004}"Love life, get paid and then get laid."
{57007}{57090}That is the basic philosophy|of the Finch-meister.
{57093}{57123}I like that.
{57126}{57206}- Bet you do.|- But I don't know why you do...
{57208}{57286}because Finch-meister doesn't|make any friggin' sense.
{57288}{57359}- Sure, it does.|- No fuckin' shit it does.
{57421}{57502}Cadence, let's leave|the "crayton" here, shall we?
{57504}{57556}Whatever. Fuck it.|I'm walkin' anyway.
{57559}{57655}Wait. You know, actually, I think I'm gonna|go stretch my legs with the Finch-meister.
{57658}{57719}- You don't mind, do you, Steven?|- No.
{57774}{57819}Ha!
{57931}{58000}It's on like Donkey Kong, bi-i-itch.
{58003}{58048}Pack it up, bitch.
{58051}{58096}I'm on it. Thank you.
{58099}{58174}So, uh, Cadence say|anything about me?
{58176}{58251}Whatever you and Finch are pulling,|she seems to like you both.
{58254}{58340}Finch. Is she gonna be|around tomorrow night?
{58343}{58418}No, she's going up to Chicago|with Michelle for the final dress fitting.
{58420}{58499}What about her parents?|I think her mom kind of likes me.
{58501}{58574}They're going up north with,|uh... with my parents...
{58576}{58647}for, uh... you know, to get things, uh,|ready for the rehearsal.
{58650}{58707}So, uh...|So that's where they'll be.
{58709}{58767}So don't bother looking for them or anything,|you know.
{58769}{58822}A wedding.
{58824}{58912}Shit. How do you know|she's the right girl?
{58915}{58962}I just do.
{58964}{59051}I'm a better person when I'm with Michelle.|Nobody else can... No, no, no, shithead.
{59054}{59140}You hooked up with one other girl for,|what, 10 seconds.
{59143}{59224}Not to mention you passed on Nadia.|Dumbest fuckin' thing ever.
{59227}{59287}You're like a blind man picking|out his favourite porno.
{59290}{59336}This shit is crazy.
{59411}{59475}This is just the old pre-wedding jitters,|son.
{59478}{59540}It's so forever, you know. It-It's, uh...
{59543}{59600}You know, Michelle is the only, uh,
{59603}{59648}girl that I've... I've been with.
{59651}{59742}Honestly, now... Honestly, would you|have passed up sex with Nadia?
{59776}{59847}Why? Did she say something?
{59850}{59907}Hypothetically, Dad.|Oh, hypothetically.
{59910}{59970}Well, I mean, you know,|Jim, I'm a married man.
{59973}{60028}I'm...|If-lf-lf you weren't married.
{60031}{60103}She's a college girl.|If you were a college guy.
{60106}{60168}In a heartbeat.|Oh, yeah. Mm-hmm.
{60171}{60287}First of all, what-what you're feeling is|so normal and perfectly natural.
{60290}{60407}Marriage is not about, uh, animal lusting|and-and kinky sex games.
{60409}{60519}It's not so much about who's the dog|and who's the fire hydrant tonight.
{60522}{60567}It's-It's deeper than that.
{60570}{60639}The longer a marriage lasts,
{60642}{60687}uh, the longer you can go,
{60690}{60735}uh, without sex.
{60738}{60820}But when that magic night|does happen, uh,
{60823}{60868}it's-it's all the more meaningful.
{60871}{60919}And let me tell you,|your mother, bless her,
{60922}{60972}can still make me, uh,|squeal like a pig.
{60975}{61058}Uh, and I mean that in the good sense, son.|Do you follow what I'm saying?
{61061}{61122}You understand where I'm going?|I do. I, uh... I think I, uh...
{61124}{61214}Anything else you need?|No. No, that's, uh...
{61240}{61286}Anything I can do.
{61744}{61831}He's not here. Park the cars down|there where he won't see them.
{61992}{62067}Hoo! Fuckin' right!
{62094}{62172}So, you like my pants, Stiffy? Whatever,|dude. As long as the girls are worth it.
{62175}{62264}They're worth it. Oh, and if you've got some|good wine too, that'll score some points for you.
{62267}{62335}- We think there's some in the...|in the basement. - I'll get it.
{62337}{62383}You ain't gonna want to miss this.
{62385}{62450}Gentlemen.
{62452}{62484}Gentlemen, I would like to introduce...
{62518}{62617}Officer Krystal und Frдulein Brandi.
{62651}{62698}Oh, my God.
{62701}{62787}Oh.! Oh.! Oh.! Yeah.!
{62789}{62887}- Oh, my God!|- You boys have been very messy.
{62995}{63046}Whoops.|Can you see my fanny?
{63049}{63100}Whoops.
{63102}{63146}Ohh!
{63185}{63218}Whoo.!
{63221}{63263}- Oh!
{63293}{63365}- You naughty girl.
{63409}{63486}None of that pleading the Fifth crap!
{63489}{63547}- You boys are gonna talk.|- Uh... Uh...
{63549}{63587}Wow.!
{63638}{63681}Oh, my God!
{63684}{63751}Are you just gonna stand there and drool?
{63753}{63825}- Or are we gonna have a bachelor party?|- Fuck yeah, we are!
{63828}{63894}Yeah? What?|I can't hear you.
{63897}{63994}Louder!|Y-Y-Y-Y-Yes. Bachelor party.
{63997}{64032}Can't hear you.|Louder! Louder!
{64034}{64118}- Stick a finger in my ass!
{64173}{64232}- That's weird.|- You just wait.
{64234}{64303}Look, maybe we should|just wait for... Jim.
{64305}{64385}- Fuck Jim, man! This is for us.|- Take her top off.
{64388}{64470}My girlfriend has strict rules|about this. No touching.
{64473}{64542}What are you, a dancing clown?
{64545}{64631}You wipe that shit-eating grin off|your face, you punk-ass little bitch.
{64633}{64688}- This is awesome!|Oh, you like that?
{64690}{64731}You like it, huh?|How much? Boob.
{64733}{64783}No! Hmph!
{64785}{64891}I'm sorry. No, not yet.|But you will be.
{64893}{64967}Like I said, this is awesome.
{65148}{65262}Hey, listen, l-l-l-I think we both know|that Officer Krystal and me have this...
{65289}{65336}You know. Yeah.|Thing? Mm-hmm.
{65513}{65591}No one has ever|slapped my ass like that.
{65593}{65676}No one's ever pinched|my nipple with such ferocity.
{65816}{65912}l... I'm a master|of the Tantric art.
{65915}{65965}L-I look at her body...
{65968}{66055}and I just see the chakras and|the things I can do to her and...
{66057}{66104}Ohh!
{66314}{66420}You. You look cute.|L... Oh, thank you.
{66422}{66469}Thank you, but you...|you're the cute one.
{66472}{66540}Stiffy! How slimming|is this, huh?
{66542}{66608}What the fuck,|Buffalo Bill?
{66610}{66685}What, this... What,|the pink too much?
{66688}{66786}It puts the dress in the drawer|and it does as it's told.
{66821}{66880}Oh, dude.|Now that's fucked up.
{66883}{66932}That's fucked up.
{66934}{67006}And in closing, you have been|a naughty, naughty girl.
{67009}{67079}You been naughty, Brandi?|You been fuckin' naughty?
{67081}{67165}Fresh.
{67168}{67238}Take her top off!
{67241}{67341}You didn't get to cleaning,|little bitch fucker? Huh? Ow!
{67378}{67426}Wanna see us kiss?
{67487}{67534}Fuck, no.|No, no.
{67537}{67584}None of that|"you go, we go" bullshit.
{67586}{67640}Already done that.|Very good of you.
{67929}{67998}I used to have this pet bass.|Oh.
{68001}{68060}His name was Arnie, and...|Oh, he was so cute.
{68062}{68108}And he just loved me too.|Yeah.
{68110}{68163}He'd just look up at me...|Maybe you could dance.
{68165}{68221}And make this face like...
{68223}{68314}Or something like that. I don't know.|It was great. God, I miss him, but...
{68317}{68380}Um, sometimes I watch|the Discovery Channel, and...
{68382}{68436}I don't care!
{68438}{68514}Could you just dance for me, please?
{68517}{68576}No, that's my favourite...
{68579}{68643}It was my favourite shirt.|Uh, okay.
{68645}{68730}Hey. What?
{68765}{68812}Nothin'.
{68838}{68886}It's a crazy party, huh?
{69128}{69186}Don't worry about him.|You don't worry about him.
{69189}{69306}He's... He's a... He's a maniac.|And you're a maniac, you know that?
{69460}{69536}Stifler, why in the world|are you focused on me?
{69538}{69581}I'm surprised to see|you don't have tits.
{69584}{69662}How can I clean you|if you are not dirty?
{69665}{69761}Go put something on that I must clean|off with my tongue.
{69764}{69845}Ohh. Anything for a French person.
{69848}{69918}If you insist, Frдulein.
{70150}{70243}- Ah!
{70245}{70284}Oh, yeah.
{70286}{70341}Look at you, you pathetic,|little weasel.
{70344}{70384}Can't I just watch?
{70386}{70486}Look, you don't have to do|anything if you don't want to.
{70489}{70544}Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Hold on.
{70546}{70603}Don't break character ever again.
{70605}{70701}Okay? I don't care if Kevin starts crying|because Finch bit his cock off.
{70704}{70817}You're a dirty cop, you're a prissy maid|and I am your filthy cabana boy in need|of much punishment and cleaning.
{70820}{70888}Don't you ever mouth off|to Officer Krystal,
{70890}{70932}- you dirty, little pervert!|- Okay.
{70934}{70994}Now, obey!|I obey! I obey!
{70997}{71028}Jesus!
{71449}{71496}Guys, are we having dinner?
{71617}{71662}Here, let me get that.
{71738}{71791}Holy shit!|Stifler.
{71793}{71882}I've got something really nice cooking|up for you. Well, we love surprises.
{71885}{71980}Stifler, you said you spoke to Jim. I did.|I was secret about it and everything.
{71982}{72062}He said he'd be the only one here|tonight. What the fuck, shit-brick?
{72065}{72116}Chocolate.|Ah, sh...
{72119}{72185}Now, I told everyone that you were|up north with my parents.
{72188}{72270}Okay. So we won't be bothered. We can|just, uh, totally relax and no worries.
{72273}{72327}Please come on in.
{72329}{72383}Make yourselves at home.|Right this way. Thank you.
{72385}{72431}Sir.
{72468}{72525}What?
{72528}{72584}Pink roses.
{72586}{72632}Pink roses.|Yeah.
{72660}{72746}They're nice, aren't they?|Yes. Artificial. Nice try.
{72749}{72815}Well...|I almost got ya.
{72817}{72873}Yeah. Well.
{72875}{72953}So, has Michelle ever told you|the story of how we fell in love?
{72956}{73016}Oh, why don't you retell us now?
{73019}{73081}It's... It's one of my favourite stories.|Where should I begin?
{73084}{73129}Um...
{73132}{73179}Let's see. Uh...
{73181}{73279}Well, I suppose, uh...|I suppose it all started at, um...
{73385}{73451}Tall Oaks.
{73453}{73510}That's-That's right.|At Tall Oaks.
{73513}{73583}That was the summer when, uh... Oh!
{73585}{73636}Oh! The summer that was so hot.
{73639}{73698}So hot.|All right. Look what I got.
{73701}{73746}Jesus!
{73749}{73794}Hey there.|Hi there.
{73797}{73883}Hey.|Jim, I cannot believe you.
{73925}{74032}- You can't? - You hired help on our|account? That is entirely unnecessary.
{74035}{74094}But I will have some of that wine, sir.
{74097}{74178}- Say, "Please," Harold.|- Please. Of course.
{74181}{74280}Absolutely. It's what he's here for,|is-is the wine, obviously.
{74282}{74350}Yes. Evidently.|What else would you be here for?
{74353}{74476}And-And-And I certainly appreciate|your-your-your courtesy, sir.
{74478}{74535}Ah. Uh, well, yes.
{74537}{74626}Uh, we have... we have right here|a 1999...
{74629}{74692}cabernet seve... um...
{74695}{74803}full-bodied, masculine wine.
{74805}{74875}Just shouts sophistication.
{74915}{74961}- James.|- Yes.
{74963}{75055}Well, I can see you're very surprised|to see me here. A little bit.
{75057}{75113}I'm going to go check on the dogs.|Yes, yes!
{75116}{75188}In fact, why don't you both|go check on the dogs and...
{75191}{75273}No, no, no. Don't check on the dogs.|They're fine.
{75276}{75342}- How do you know?|- Because I just checked on the dogs.
{75345}{75405}Because he just checked on the dogs.|Good work, man. I did.
{75408}{75465}- Jim, I'll help you with the turkey.|- Okay.
{75467}{75537}Um, and I'll keep you company.
{75540}{75585}Thank you. Whoo.
{75588}{75666}So, how long have you been|a sommelier, Mr., um...
{75669}{75729}Belvedere, ma'am.|Oh. Belvedere.
{75756}{75801}It's chilly in here.
{75804}{75867}So, how long do we have to|stay in here for?
{75869}{75929}I don't know.|They said to hide.
{75932}{75987}I guess we'll just wait|for 'em to call us.
{75989}{76061}Who knows what kind of kinky shit|they're getting ready for us.
{76064}{76111}Do these go|in your ass tonight or mine?
{76186}{76247}Do you have a serving dish ready?
{76288}{76296}- Jim.|- Hmm?
{76299}{76354}We need a serving dish.|Oh, yeah. Yeah. Of course.
{76376}{76423}- Oh!|- What?
{76468}{76540}- Nothing.|- Then why the excitement?
{76543}{76599}I thought, uh, the-the dish was broken.
{76601}{76654}Well, is it?|No.
{76656}{76702}Then, are you going to get it?|Yes.
{76964}{77018}Here you go. One serving dish.|Excellent.
{77020}{77087}Now what we need...|a cutting board.
{77089}{77127}Huh? No, no, no, no!|Stop! What?
{77130}{77233}L-I will get it for you.|Nonsense. I can get a cutting board.
{77235}{77342}Ah, let's see. There you go.|This should do nicely.
{77344}{77410}I presume we're having|white wine with the turkey.
{77413}{77459}Uh, let me go check.
{77574}{77640}What happened here?
{77643}{77712}Oh, um, that... that's mud.
{77715}{77796}I meant to clean that up this morning.|How embarrassing.
{77799}{77860}That's gonna stain.|We're gonna need a mop.
{77863}{77894}I'll get it.|It's in this closet.
{77896}{77987}Oh! No, no, no!|No, it's not.
{77989}{78042}- It's in there.|- It's not in this closet...
{78044}{78130}because l-I, um...|I moved it... I moved it.
{78133}{78179}Well, where?|I'll go get it.
{78182}{78234}L-I don't...|I don't remember.
{78237}{78286}You don't remember?
{78288}{78362}You know why I don't remember|is because I actually did not move it.
{78365}{78424}The cleaning lady did.
{78427}{78471}Your mother said you don't have|a cleaning lady.
{78474}{78546}I don't know why she would say such a...|You called, master?
{78549}{78622}Holy...|Well, there you are.
{78624}{78674}Hello.|How do you do?
{78704}{78772}Uh, so, cleaning lady,
{78775}{78846}we were wondering|where... where the mop was.
{78848}{78919}Master put the mop|in my fanny.
{78921}{78982}- You what?|- Who put what where?
{78985}{79049}I did no such thing anywhere.
{79051}{79111}Shall I clean?
{79163}{79210}Harold.
{79257}{79361}Very well.|It is so hot in here.
{79395}{79441}- Holy Jesus!
{79568}{79662}Oh, Brandi, Brandi. What are you doing?|You're not in Eastern Europe anymore.
{79665}{79801}You can't do that. I am so sorry about my|... my cousin. She's not used to our customs.
{79804}{79877}Jim, I apologize for recommending|her to you.
{79880}{79943}Oh, here's, uh...|here's this, by the way.
{79945}{80009}Ah, yeah. Got the mop.
{80012}{80084}Brandi, you left the mop|in the car. Hmm?
{80087}{80173}Now remember, it's called a car,|not a fanny.
{80176}{80268}You remember last time when you wanted|me to take a ride in your fanny? Of course.
{80270}{80359}Oh, dear, I'm so sorry.
{80361}{80412}You know what?|We should probably just go.
{80414}{80500}I'm so sorry about this. I just came by|to make sure everything was in order.
{80502}{80570}Ooh, food smells great!
{80573}{80627}Au revoir.
{80629}{80687}Jim, you have unique friends.
{80713}{80773}Harold!|Let's get that cleaned up.
{80775}{80849}Um, I think I saw some Pine-Sol in|here too.
{80852}{80937}Aye-yay-yay.|Oh, my God!
{80940}{80986}Oh, my Lord.!|Jesus, Mary and Joseph!
{80989}{81047}He's okay. Are you all right?|Are you okay?
{81049}{81112}Who did this to you? I'm sure he's okay.|Are you okay?
{81114}{81202}Get some help! Harold, call the police!|No, no, please.
{81205}{81268}- All right!|- Jesus!
{81270}{81327}I'll take charge from here.
{81329}{81391}- They are fast here. And nicely attired.|- What's going on here?
{81393}{81460}- She's here to protect and serve.|- Quiet!
{81462}{81515}- Okay.|- Who let this boy out of the closet?
{81517}{81569}You are all in for|a hard punishment now.
{81572}{81622}Don't you touch him.|He's been hurt.
{81625}{81671}- No, this is hurt!|- Ow!
{81673}{81726}You can't do that.|Silence, fucker!
{81729}{81776}Ow!|Oh, you like it.
{81778}{81825}Oh!|Harold!
{81827}{81879}What's gotten into you?|I meant "ow."
{81881}{81942}Dirty whore!|Shut your hole! Obey!
{81945}{81997}You can't do that.!
{82000}{82079}- You're a disgrace to the police force.|- I'll be giving you an enema!
{82081}{82135}Hey, somebody untie me.!
{82137}{82214}Back off! All right, forget it.|We give up.
{82217}{82270}Oh, Steven! Steven!
{82273}{82340}Oh, it's okay, Mary.|What's going on?
{82342}{82389}Listen. This isn't|working, guys.
{82392}{82457}Krystal, you can drop the act.|This isn't a real cop.
{82460}{82519}Kevin wasn't assaulted.
{82521}{82584}I just wanted to make Jim|look good for you guys.
{82587}{82644}Like a real hero.|Kind of like me.
{82646}{82728}So, we hired a fake cop and we tied|up Kevin and put him in the closet.
{82730}{82794}Jim was supposed to rescue him,|untie him, give him mouth-to-mouth.
{82797}{82845}I don't know|what he likes to do.
{82848}{82928}You know, and then Paul Finchhired an|exotic dancer instead of a real actor.
{82930}{82981}Jim, is this true?
{83036}{83124}- Every word of it. - That is the stupidest|idea I have ever heard.
{83126}{83201}You've embarrassed me and Harold|and Mr. Belvedere.
{83204}{83296}It's all my fault.|I'm a bad person.
{83298}{83430}Oh, you're not a bad person. You were|just trying to help out your best friend.
{83433}{83528}And it was an awful idea. But I suppose|it's the thought that counts.
{83530}{83609}You know, actually, um...
{83612}{83714}Actually, l-I never|should have allowed...
{83717}{83809}such a... such a crazy plan|to happen in the first place.
{83812}{83925}If you're gonna blame anybody here,|blame me.
{83928}{84005}Well, I'm sorry, Jim. I didn't realize how|much pressure we put on you.
{84008}{84095}I'm sure you both learned your lesson|and I suppose I understand.
{84097}{84189}Jim, if you put half as much energy into|your marriage as you put into tonight,
{84191}{84245}I'm confident that I can give you|my blessing.
{84316}{84385}And, Steven, we still adore you,|honey.
{84388}{84478}In fact, I think I know|who should hold onto this.
{84481}{84545}We adore you.|You'll take good care of it.
{84548}{84614}You've gotta be kidding me.|No.
{84617}{84679}Look it, Jim. Kevin. Boy, this really makes|me important to the wedding, huh?
{84720}{84779}Yes.
{84781}{84877}Well, Mr. Belvedere, it's gonna|be one fucked-up wedding.
{84879}{84929}Absolutely.
{84959}{85012}Drive carefully.|There's more bags in the study.
{85015}{85066}Thank you.|You're welcome.
{85186}{85232}Ow! Is there any room|for me?
{85235}{85289}Uh, nope.
{85291}{85346}Oh, I'll just drive up north|all by myself.
{85348}{85400}That sounds good.|We'll see you later.
{85403}{85492}No, I'll drive with you.|Oh, thanks, Cadence.
{85495}{85571}- Beautiful lady.|- Sure.
{85638}{85706}Hey, Finch... I know, shut up.|Kevin.
{85955}{86044}So, my mom found the dogs playing with|something unusual this morning.
{86047}{86141}What?|I told her it was a neck massager.
{86194}{86239}Oh, these are great.
{86817}{86912}Hilarious, huh?|Yeah.
{86915}{86975}That kind of thing's|so lethargic to me.
{86977}{87043}What do you mean?
{87045}{87087}I'm not sure.
{87565}{87612}Mr. "Stifler,"|I already told you...
{87614}{87677}you called two days ago|and cancelled your reservation.
{87680}{87727}Since you now|wish to stay here,
{87729}{87789}I thought you could persuade|Mr. Finch to share his room.
{87792}{87860}Hey, shithead.|I didn't cancel my reservation.
{87862}{87910}Mr. Fuckface Finch|called here,
{87913}{87967}and Mr. Idiot-Behind-The-Desk|cancelled it.
{87969}{88080}Kristof, please pardon my friend's|uncouth behaviour.
{88082}{88124}I did no such thing.
{88126}{88171}Nor did I, sir,
{88173}{88268}and your rudeness and obscenities|won't change anything.
{88270}{88331}Oh. Well, then,|I guess it doesn't matter...
{88333}{88402}if I call you a crotch-face,|you ball-scratching Finch-fucker.
{88405}{88453}- Or better yet, go blow your dad!|- My dad?
{88456}{88495}Hear, hear!
{88497}{88561}While you're there, stick a finger up|both their asses.
{88564}{88587}Oh.
{88589}{88635}Um, uh, hey.|Hi.
{88637}{88701}Um, Finch, rudeness and obscenity|won't change anything.
{88704}{88785}Here's a thought. Grow a sack,|fill it with some balls,
{88787}{88893}magically sprout a dick, shove it up|your ass, start fucking yourself with it.
{88896}{88930}Yeah, baby!
{88933}{88980}Whoo! Baby, you know|what I'm sayin'? Oh!
{88982}{89020}Ohh! Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh!
{89022}{89061}Yeah!|This is disgusting!
{89064}{89159}- Why don't you go dust with your|perverse European cousin?
{89161}{89251}Is she here?|Unbelievable.
{89253}{89319}I'd like to book a tee time|for my husband...
{89321}{89374}and a European pumpkin-peel facial|for me, please.
{89377}{89424}Ooh!|Make that two.
{89426}{89480}You're gonna have|a fun weekend, Ma.
{89482}{89551}I am missing my soap.|Well, don't you worry about your soaps.
{89553}{89624}Will you push faster?|I'm tired.
{89626}{89714}And wait till you meet Michelle.|You're gonna love her. She's sweet as sugar.
{89717}{89808}I can't eat sugar.|I know, because you're diabetic.
{89810}{89925}You know, Ma, I know things haven't|been going well for you. I know that.
{89928}{89992}But wait till you see Jim standing|up there at the altar tomorrow.
{89994}{90106}I mean, if ever there was a time to be|happy and smile the biggest smile,
{90109}{90188}now is the time.|Okay. Okay!
{90190}{90251}I'm overjoyed.
{90253}{90337}That's... That's a start.
{90340}{90416}Proud grandmother|coming through.
{90418}{90466}Grandsons getting married tomorrow.
{90469}{90537}You think she's happy now?|Wait till tomorrow.
{90570}{90633}Congratulations.
{90788}{90845}Grooming.
{91925}{91990}The flowers stay refrigerated|until morning.
{91993}{92056}Just as we made them.|Oh, I'm sure they will.
{92059}{92115}Oh, my...
{92345}{92435}- Oh! Ah!|- Oh, Jimmy, no!
{92438}{92489}I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
{92682}{92741}I hope you'll be more careful|with the next one.
{92743}{92810}My kitchen is not a toilet.|Okay?
{92983}{93068}Boy, pubic hair was just not an issue|when I was dating.
{93104}{93192}The ladies, uh, never complained|when they were...
{93195}{93240}you know, down in that general area.
{93243}{93299}Okay, if you never mention that|ever again, that'd be great.
{93302}{93386}You're right. No, no, no. Okay.|Shouldn't have brought it up. Maybe...
{93389}{93391}So, can I see the ring?
{93391}{93434}So, can I see the ring?
{93437}{93545}Nope. Promised to keep it safe.|It's not leaving my pocket.
{93547}{93602}Okay, Frodo.
{93652}{93721}You really care about|this wedding, don't you?
{93723}{93822}Yeah. I'm gonna cry|at the ceremony.
{93825}{93895}I know it.
{93897}{93947}Are you just saying|all of this?
{93950}{94086}I mean, do you act differently|around certain people? Namely me.
{94089}{94184}Of course not. Why? Do you act|differently around me?
{94187}{94293}Generally I'm just me. If people don't|like it, then that's their problem, right?
{94295}{94344}Yeah. Fuck those fuckers.
{94347}{94392}What?
{94395}{94479}L-I didn't... No, you know, you're right.|Fuck 'em.
{94593}{94700}- Hey, Harold and Mary.|- Oh, hi, kids. - Hi.
{94703}{94751}How's it going?
{94754}{94829}Thanks for, um... Come on.|Thanks for watching the dogs.
{94831}{94943}I love these guys. Hey, you guys want|more Snausages? Huh? There you go.
{94971}{95007}- Eat 'em up, fellas.|- Give me some.
{95010}{95079}Oh, there you go.|I don't think I have any left.
{95143}{95216}- What's wrong?|- Oh, shit.
{95219}{95288}- Are you okay?
{95315}{95373}Yeah.
{95429}{95511}You kissed Stifler?|Yeah, but then he freaked.
{95514}{95580}And it's like he's been paying more|attention to the dogs than me.
{95583}{95678}Can I stop worrying then? Michelle,|he's been nothing but nice to me.
{95681}{95755}I mean, do you think|he really likes you? Like...
{95758}{95822}I don't know.|I hope he likes me.
{95824}{95883}I mean, I think|he likes me.
{95885}{95979}We're... Well, yeah, I guess|I hope he likes me.
{96052}{96106}Do it.
{96108}{96154}Don't fuck around.
{96156}{96220}Just relax and let it go.
{96223}{96268}I'm sick of waiting.
{96271}{96328}Do it for Daddy.
{96331}{96399}Will you just take a shit already?
{96484}{96503}Great.
{96505}{96559}You fed the ring to the dogs,|didn't you?
{96561}{96701}Of course not.
{96704}{96778}You have been staring at those dogs|like a hawk all day.
{96781}{96839}I'm a dog lover.
{96841}{96897}Oh, and by the way...
{96900}{96990}apparently you missed|when Cadence kissed me.
{96993}{97044}Slight tongue action too.
{97046}{97119}It was something like this.
{97121}{97164}You're a terrible liar, Stifler.
{97166}{97249}If I were lying, I'd think of something|better than a kiss.
{97252}{97320}Maybe a blow job|or some titty grabbin'.
{97322}{97367}No pussy for you, Finch.
{97404}{97456}Oh, fuckin' right, doggy!
{97525}{97548}It's about goddamn time.|Jackpot.!
{97551}{97664}Now, if you'll excuse me,|I have some shit to attend to.
{97802}{97863}Great!
{98123}{98149}Thanks, assholes.
{98183}{98248}You know, maybe you can call them.|Oh, okay.
{98250}{98346}Steve, come over here.
{98373}{98442}Uh, I'm a little busy.
{98445}{98500}With what? Come on over.|We need you.
{98503}{98590}Get over here, you little rascal. We were|just talking about Michelle's wedding band.
{98593}{98638}Could I see it?
{98641}{98703}Um, no.
{98705}{98785}- No?|- I don't have it.
{98788}{98864}What? You mean you lost it?|Of course not.
{98867}{98934}I'm keeping it safe in my room,|you silly Sally.
{98937}{99001}- I apologize.|- That's fine. I'll just see it later.
{99004}{99069}Okay. All right then. What do you have|in your hand there?
{99161}{99258}- This one?|- No, the other one.
{99305}{99369}It's a chocolate truffle.|Ooh, yummy.!
{99372}{99422}Where did you get that?
{99425}{99540}Oh, the caterer said she was saving|the truffles for tomorrow.
{99543}{99589}You sneaky devil.
{99638}{99704}Well, hey, I managed|to sneak one right past her.
{99707}{99761}Oh, come on.|This woman loves chocolate.
{99764}{99822}- At least give her a tiny nibble.|- Give it to Mama.
{99825}{99903}Mama don't want this.|This is the only piece that I have.
{99905}{99972}- Idiot.|- Well, break it in half. Come on.
{99975}{100048}You know what? Let's just leave|the surprises till tomorrow, huh, guys?
{100051}{100118}- It's gonna be a great day.|- I'd like my surprise right now.
{100121}{100193}- No, it's mine!|- Steven, give it to me.
{100196}{100259}- No.|- Give me the "G" darn truffle.
{100317}{100360}Steven, that is so selfish.
{100392}{100475}Mm, it's good.|Is it? Is it sweet?
{100502}{100608}- It's so sweet.
{100610}{100702}Close your mouth when you chew, Steven.|Don't do that.
{100705}{100821}At least you could describe to the|lovely woman how delicious it is.
{100823}{100913}Well, tastes like twigs|and berries.
{100916}{100967}Is it Swiss or French|chocolate?
{100969}{101021}Maybe German.|Oh, really?
{101024}{101096}Uh-huh.|Is it creamy?
{101099}{101160}Yeah, it's creamy.|Easy to go down, right?
{101162}{101221}Well, I'm trying to savor the flavor|right now.
{101224}{101288}Is it fresh?|- Oh, it's so fresh.
{101290}{101365}Nothing better than when they're fresh.|Nothing better.
{101368}{101428}The problem is you can't|eat just one, can ya?
{101431}{101523}No. No, you can't. But you've got|to know when to stop, don't you?
{101525}{101583}You really do, but it's hard.|It's really hard.
{101585}{101653}Droppings from the gods.|Ooh!
{101656}{101701}Get me another one, darling.|Come on.
{101704}{101764}You selfish boy. Next time, bring|enough for everybody.
{101766}{101830}Hey, let's keep this|to ourselves. Huh? Okay?
{101833}{101898}Okay.|I gotta go, okay?
{101901}{101968}Don't have any more because it's gonna|spoil your appetite.
{101970}{102033}Okay. Hey, look, man.|I gotta go.
{102036}{102068}See ya.
{102197}{102276}Grandma, I want you|to meet some people.
{102330}{102377}Grandma, this is Michelle.
{102380}{102415}I'm so proud to be joining your family.
{102456}{102491}She's real pretty, huh?
{102532}{102603}Isn't it great?|We're getting married.
{102606}{102654}It's amazing, Gram.
{102709}{102815}Not Jewish. No wedding, Jimmy!|No wedding.
{102818}{102879}Forget it. Goy.!|Grandma?
{102882}{102930}- Shit.|- Jim, she hates me.
{102981}{103024}Oh, my God!|Grandma!
{103027}{103075}Grandma, we love each other.
{103078}{103126}Michelle and I love each other|very much.
{103129}{103194}And that's all that matters.|Grandma.! Grandma.
{103231}{103302}Michelle. Michelle.
{103333}{103379}But, uh, Grandma's okay.
{103381}{103474}Oh, she's okay. Oh, yeah, yeah, Dad.|She's okay. She's just a little tired.
{103476}{103544}Okay. My mother|hasn't been well.
{103547}{103608}When your dad sees the look|on Grandma's face...
{103611}{103682}it's... it's gonna|break his heart.
{103685}{103753}Because of me.|It's not because of you.
{103755}{103803}Michelle, it's not because|of you at all.
{103805}{103874}It's because Grandma thinks|it's 1801.
{103876}{103971}Look. Don't... Don't worry.|I will... I'll come up with something.
{103997}{104047}I promised you|the wedding of your dreams,
{104050}{104122}and I'm not gonna let|anything ruin it.
{104125}{104175}Oh.
{104178}{104224}I would like to propose a toast.
{104227}{104330}These last few weeks have really been|something for my lovely wife and me.
{104332}{104406}We have met some people|we didn't know existed.
{104409}{104494}We've experienced some things|we didn't think were possible.
{104497}{104570}We've always tried to make|the best of every situation.
{104572}{104639}- This is a good situation.|- That's what I'm saying.
{104642}{104699}This is a wonderful situation.
{104702}{104788}The coming together of two families|from different backgrounds.
{104791}{104872}So, to our new son-in-law,|may we say Erin Go Braugh.
{104875}{104955}To our lovely daughter|Michelle, L'chaim.
{104958}{105010}- Did I get that right?|- Very good.
{105013}{105107}Uh, and let's hope we can sip|many happy shivas together.
{105143}{105186}Here's to a wonderful wedding.
{105189}{105243}Cheers.
{105361}{105451}See that, shit-brick.|Told you I won.
{105488}{105535}Hey.|Hey.
{105538}{105658}So, I just wanted to say I'm sorry if|I freaked you out with the whole kiss thing.
{105661}{105707}You didn't freak me out.
{105709}{105793}I just wanted|to let you know that...
{105795}{105846}you make me feel special.
{105873}{105926}I think you're the most|special girl I've ever known.
{105979}{106066}Maybe you'd wanna make things|extra special tonight.
{106068}{106127}Which room is yours?
{106129}{106188}I'm crashing at Kevin's.
{106191}{106252}Damn.|But I saw...
{106255}{106354}like a big, fluffy linen closet|at the end of the main hallway.
{106357}{106413}Yes. Big, fluffy linen closet is good.|Okay.
{106415}{106475}Midnight? All right.|Yeah. Okay.
{106477}{106528}Oh!
{106570}{106622}Gonna have sex with Cadence
{106625}{106698}Gonna have sex with Cadence
{106701}{106752}Whoo! Uh-huh.
{106798}{106845}Cadence|Jesus!
{106848}{106904}You fuckin' stalker.
{106907}{106960}You're nota very stealthy thief.
{106963}{107024}Oh, really?|Guess what, shit-brick, it's a wedding.
{107027}{107107}Everything's free.|What do you want?
{107136}{107214}Well, Stifler, Jim's grandma|doesn't approve of the wedding.
{107217}{107296}We're trying to run|interference and,
{107299}{107365}reluctantly, I am asking for your help.
{107367}{107476}Hmm. Sorry, Finch-meister.|I got plans with Cadence.
{107479}{107586}Stifler, maybe you could forget about your|dick for one second and actually be useful.
{107589}{107652}Fuck you, Finch.
{107655}{107712}You didn't eat shit, okay?
{107715}{107778}You didn't prance around here|like a ballerina for the whole week.
{107781}{107832}"Oh, wedding" this.|"Suck my ass" that.
{107835}{107919}"I'm special. You're special." We're all|just a bunch of special fuckers, aren't we?
{107922}{107996}Well, you know what?|I'm a-gonna get laid, Finch-fucker.
{107999}{108047}And it's gonna be|oh, so good.
{108050}{108095}It's gonna be like,|"You like this shit, Mama?"
{108098}{108151}She's gonna be like,|"Fuckin' right, doggy, give it to me.
{108154}{108216}Suck on my nipples|like you're milking a cow."
{108219}{108266}Like...
{108456}{108548}You been here long?
{108597}{108647}Oh, shit.
{108707}{108774}Yeah.|Cadence,
{108777}{108826}it is my distinct pleasure|to introduce you...
{108829}{108935}- to the real Steve Stifler.|- Hi.
{108938}{108979}Hi.
{109028}{109107}Pumpkin.
{109179}{109235}You are quite the gentleman, Stifler.
{109238}{109282}You could have told me|she was behind me.
{109288}{109383}Between Grandma and Stifler and Cadence.|The cake. The cake!
{109386}{109503}I mean, are you kidding me? You know,|I thought I had grown out of this...
{109506}{109596}sort of behaviour, but I keep messing up.
{109599}{109644}These things keep happening to me.
{109647}{109705}And if I can't bring it|together for one day,
{109707}{109774}how am I gonna hold it together|for the rest of our lives?
{109777}{109830}I'm really afraid that this is|how it's always gonna be.
{109833}{109904}Yeah, but you always manage|to get yourself into serious shit,
{109907}{109994}and somehow you always come out|of it better than you went in.
{109997}{110072}I don't know how, but you do.|Everything is gonna be fine.
{110075}{110193}Yeah. Um, uh, you need to|come into the kitchen right now.
{110196}{110274}There's... Yeah.|Jesus, now what?
{110411}{110486}There is no way to remake|all these in time, is there?
{110488}{110542}Something must have|disrupted the power.
{110544}{110626}The compressors need time to reset|after a power loss, or they overheat.
{110628}{110700}Essentially, it turns the refrigerator|into an oven.
{110703}{110807}Stifler was in here earlier|flipping switches.
{110810}{110862}Michelle, I am so sorry.
{110906}{110974}Hey!
{111059}{111104}Ooh. Those flowers|look hideous.
{111107}{111152}That's 'cause you killed them,|Stifler.
{111155}{111221}You've ruined everything.
{111223}{111302}F... What are you|talking about?
{111305}{111388}You obviously don't care about this|wedding or anyone in it.
{111441}{111518}Cadence.
{111563}{111628}Jim?
{111663}{111722}Shit-brick, come on.
{111859}{111915}Maybe you should|just leave, Stifler.
{112024}{112092}Fine. Adios.
{113700}{113778}Fuckers, it's not my fault!
{113781}{113846}I'm not an "intellectual Einstein".|I'm not...
{113889}{113957}- Damn it.!
{114042}{114096}Fuck!
{114303}{114366}Hey, flower fuckers, you there?
{114368}{114435}Zyskowski.
{114688}{114742}Hello?
{114744}{114820}Are you awake?
{114823}{114922}Come on. Come on.|Anybody awake?
{114924}{114978}Oh.!
{114981}{115044}- Are you Miss Zyskowski?|- Who are you?
{115047}{115138}I'm the guy who just killed all the flowers|for the Levenstein-band geek wedding.
{115141}{115212}- What?|- Yeah, I'm that guy.
{115215}{115314}Now what I need you to do is drag|your ass down to your little store,
{115317}{115363}gather up some flowers,|slice 'em and dice 'em,
{115366}{115454}jam 'em all together and cart that crap|down to the wedding.
{115456}{115507}Are you completely insane?
{115510}{115590}- You have no idea.|- Even if I overlook the fact...
{115592}{115656}that this is the rudest thing|I have ever encountered,
{115659}{115724}there is no time|to redo all that work.
{115727}{115803}I had four assistants working two|full days on that wedding.
{115806}{115851}I'm sorry.
{115854}{115907}It's impossible.
{116041}{116090}We don't quit at halftime, ma'am!
{116093}{116166}You don't score|until you score!
{116287}{116335}That's the spirit, sweetheart.
{116583}{116646}Pick up the pace.
{116648}{116721}You guys keep working this hard,|we'll be able to beat the Wildcats.
{116723}{116786}You remember how tough|they were last year.
{116789}{116842}Come on. Let's see|some determination.
{116844}{116903}Determination.!
{117025}{117078}Come on. Keep working.!
{117178}{117240}Good, Connor. Very good.|Good, DeBoer.
{117243}{117290}Really sucks.|Go fix it.
{117292}{117386}Hey, party guy. Having a good time,|huh? Can I get you a gin and tonic?
{117388}{117472}Ring! Hold on a second.|Hello. Okay.
{117475}{117526}It's for you.|It's "get to work, fucker."
{117556}{117630}We are gathered here today|to join these two great people...
{117632}{117713}in a blessed union and bladdah,|bladdah, bladdah and crap.
{117715}{117778}Coach, this is kinda gay.
{117815}{117880}Yeah, it is.
{117911}{117999}Good work.|Hey, no problem.
{118002}{118047}So, you got a date|for this thing?
{118050}{118095}Don't push it.|Sorry.
{118219}{118267}Holy shit.
{118269}{118319}How the hell did this happen?
{118322}{118370}It's a miracle.
{118373}{118420}Stifler. Save it, dickhead.|I'm working.
{118695}{118774}- You're an asshole.|- I know.
{118777}{118828}You really are an asshole.
{118855}{118918}Thanks.
{118953}{119010}I don't do apologies so good.
{119042}{119103}Well, you get an "A" for effort.|This is amazing.
{119106}{119157}Cool.
{119159}{119223}I was always kind of|a "C" student.
{119226}{119286}So, did you do all this|just to have sex with me...
{119289}{119343}or because you really care|about the wedding?
{119346}{119398}Both.
{119433}{119500}And, uh...
{119503}{119548}I like you.
{119551}{119590}What?
{119632}{119678}I like you.
{119680}{119739}Well, that's an honest answer.
{119742}{119788}I gotta go.
{119926}{120015}Steve Stifler just gave|a rose to a girl and meant it.
{120018}{120158}This is huge. It's... It's like watching|monkeys use tools for the first time.
{120160}{120163}You still pissed|about me and Cadence?
{120163}{120208}You still pissed|about me and Cadence?
{120211}{120256}No. Let's see.
{120259}{120313}She wasn't into the heavy intellectual|stuff.
{120315}{120380}She actually liked me|being that imbecile.
{120383}{120481}No, no, somehow I think|she's probably better off with you.
{120483}{120531}Thanks, shit-brick.
{120578}{120700}Ooh. Dick.|Fucking hate not hating you.
{120799}{120859}I did fuck your mom.
{120895}{120940}Twice.
{120943}{121037}Ooh! That's better, fucker!
{121075}{121158}Oh. Whoa!|Ready to go?
{121160}{121224}Um, the wedding's|not for another hour.
{121227}{121275}No, I mean you and me.
{121278}{121326}Hold on. Hold on.
{121329}{121379}Do I still gotta do|this bullshit meeting?
{121382}{121432}Stifler, you are not|bailing on Jim.
{121435}{121500}Shit!|Give me 10 minutes?
{121595}{121674}I'll meet you at the closet.|The closet.
{121839}{121895}You wanted to see me,|Michelle?
{121898}{121956}Oh! Okay, sit.
{122015}{122102}So, uh, Jim said that you've always|kind of been there for him...
{122104}{122179}when he needed you, so I thought|maybe you could help me.
{122182}{122238}Jim said that?
{122322}{122370}What's, uh...|What's the problem?
{122372}{122467}Okay. Well, I, uh...
{122470}{122516}I still can't get|my vows right.
{122519}{122611}Oh. I haven't been this confused|since I got my first period.
{122614}{122672}That's a very confusing time|for any young lady.
{122675}{122767}You know, your body|is going through, uh, changes.
{122770}{122871}Um, stuff coming out,|stuff going in.
{122874}{122972}Oh, no. I need help with my vows,|not my period.
{122975}{123026}Oh, your vows.|Your vows.
{123029}{123120}Yes, uh, good.|Um, go on.
{123123}{123184}Jim just wants a groomsmen's meeting|before the wedding.
{123187}{123302}It shouldn't take long.|Just don't let her talk to anyone.
{123305}{123359}Be careful.|She's feisty.
{123450}{123497}Okay, let's go.
{123500}{123563}Hey, guys. Thanks for coming out|here and meeting me.
{123566}{123638}I, um... I just have a couple of things|I wanna say.
{123641}{123711}This sucks.
{123783}{123829}Did I say that out loud?
{123877}{123955}Keep going.|It's good.
{123958}{124022}Now, I thought about|what you said, Kev.
{124025}{124125}About, uh, about how my problems|always seem to work out.
{124127}{124234}And I realized that the reason|things always work out...
{124236}{124335}is because you guys have always|been there to back me up.
{124338}{124383}Even you, Stifler.
{124457}{124512}For the first time in my life...
{124515}{124628}I actually feel like|I can't mess anything up.
{124691}{124751}Which is pretty amazing.
{124754}{124808}So, uh,
{124811}{124912}l-I guess I just wanted|to say thank you.
{124953}{125038}Thanks. Yeah.|Thanks?
{125041}{125096}This whole thing|was about thanks?
{125099}{125154}Ooh! You're welcome,|cock-block!
{125234}{125292}That was good, Jim.|Real nice.
{125295}{125348}Let's get you married.|Hmm?
{125351}{125402}Okay.
{125408}{125489}Love is very difficult|to describe.
{125491}{125560}And I understand the angst.|I mean, it's your wedding.
{125563}{125630}And it's natural.|It's perfectly natural.
{125632}{125704}But it's impossible|to describe a feeling.
{125707}{125783}Okay, first,|nothing is impossible.
{125786}{125846}So, let's not focus|on that.
{125849}{125982}Why do you think, Michelle,|they call it "making love"?
{126015}{126082}I don't know.|I just call it "boneing."
{126131}{126174}Boneing.
{126177}{126255}Well, when you're doing|other things with Jim...
{126258}{126318}when you're not,|um, boneing...
{126321}{126367}how does|he make you feel?
{126405}{126451}Horny, like I wanna bone.
{126453}{126522}But we can't be boneing|from sunrise to sunset, dear.
{126524}{126571}Oh, you've never tried it?
{126573}{126669}I certainly have.|I have. I've boned.
{126672}{126760}From sunrise right through brunch,|on more than one occasion.
{126763}{126878}But boneing aside, um, I think they call it|"making love"...
{126881}{126960}because you have to|make love work.
{126997}{127066}You know,|it's about compromise and sacrifice.
{127068}{127123}And I think Jim|has sacrificed for you.
{127126}{127179}My God, he shaved|his entire pubic region,
{127182}{127253}which would baffle most|cultures around the world.
{127256}{127375}But he did it,|and he did it for you.
{127401}{127501}You're right.|Love isn't just a feeling.
{127503}{127552}It's shaving your balls.
{127579}{127618}Thanks, Dad.
{127646}{127742}I wouldn't get into too much detail|on that.
{127745}{127798}Excuse me. Pardon me.|Excuse me.
{127800}{127846}Oh, yeah, excuse me.|Pardon me. Pardon me.
{127848}{127914}Gonna have sex with Cadence|Uh-huh.
{128112}{128217}You know, son, I think this is probably|the right time to tell you that...
{128258}{128364}that...|I know, Dad.
{128599}{128671}I can't see anything here.
{128749}{128803}Oh, there you are.
{128831}{128919}Guys, what are you doing?|Where's Jim's grandma?
{128922}{128977}The old bitch sucked.|We had to ditch her.
{128979}{129029}You what?|Don't worry.
{129031}{129110}We put her someplace|no one will find her.
{129113}{129208}Cadence, where are you going?|Oh, Mom.
{129237}{129312}Oh, baby.|I'm so ready for this.
{129376}{129463}Your body's not quite what I was|expecting, but that's okay.
{129466}{129565}The Stif-man digs|what's underneath.
{129567}{129692}Oh, you are so beautiful.|Oh, I just wanna...
{129749}{129819}Stifler.! Granny.!
{129821}{129898}Granny? What?|Focus! Focus! Focus!
{129901}{129973}Out...|It's not what it looks like!
{129976}{130050}- Shut the fucking door!
{130052}{130126}You got it, champ.
{130631}{130695}You're a hero.
{130722}{130780}Hey, pussy's pussy.
{130783}{130886}Look at the smile|on my mother's face.
{130888}{130958}Do you know how long she's been|waiting for a day like this?
{130960}{131016}I can't imagine.
{131159}{131219}I couldn't be happier.|Thank you.
{131282}{131327}Don't.
{131378}{131443}Good luck.|Thank you, sir.
{131566}{131611}What made Grandma|come around?
{131614}{131665}Finch said Stifler|talked to her.
{131667}{131730}Stifler?
{131780}{131826}Grandmother fucker.
{131828}{131890}You're a motherfucker.
{131893}{131996}Yes, I am.|Oh, you son of a bitch.
{131999}{132107}And I promise to love you|for as long as I shall live.
{132110}{132203}Michelle, you are the one woman|I want to be with...
{132206}{132270}and the woman|I can't be without.
{132273}{132320}I love you.
{132323}{132366}I love you.
{132747}{132792}Jim,
{132795}{132892}I had trouble finding the words|to tell you how I feel.
{132895}{132948}And I realized something.
{132951}{133023}Love isn't just a feeling.
{133026}{133071}Love is something you do.
{133107}{133186}It's a dress,|a visit to band camp.
{133188}{133266}A special haircut.
{133268}{133338}Jim, you've given me|everything I've ever wanted.
{133340}{133400}And it is my solemn vow...
{133403}{133466}to give everything I am to you.
{133811}{133865}James Emanuel Levenstein...
{133867}{133913}and Michelle Anabeth Flaherty,
{133915}{133987}I hereby pronounce you|husband and wife.
{133990}{134049}You may kiss the bride.
{134480}{134606}Let's all welcome Mr. And Mrs. Jim and|Michelle Levenstein onto the dance floor.
{134608}{134674}Just follow my lead.|I'll try.
{135378}{135428}I taught him that.
{135455}{135522}Jim, you learned to dance.
{136522}{136615}Well, seems like everything worked out.|Magnificently.
{136618}{136734}I feel a bit sad that tonight our little|Michelle is going to be a woman.
{136737}{136825}Honey, you don't honestly believe|that Michelle is still a...
{136827}{136914}Well, I'll tell you, Mary. I can't recall a|single moment with either one of them...
{136917}{136970}that would make me|think otherwise.
{136973}{137015}Thank you. See?
{137018}{137086}Whew! Whoa!
{137259}{137304}Hey, tough guy.
{137307}{137362}Stifler's mom.
{137399}{137459}Well, we meet again.
{137462}{137530}I was curious.|Didn't see you here.
{137532}{137592}I try to keep a low profile.
{137595}{137662}I never really did|like these things anyway.
{137664}{137743}You know, this has actually|made quite an impression on me.
{137746}{137814}I have something to look for|in a woman now.
{137817}{137871}Well, if this is your idea|of a proposal...
{137874}{137950}Finchy, you gotta know|that I'm over you now.
{137952}{138010}And I'm over you.
{138013}{138097}But as they say,|we will always have Paris.
{138100}{138154}And the pool table.|And the car.
{138157}{138238}And the two-room suite|I have upstairs. Come here.
{138375}{138450}Turned out better|than I ever imagined.
{138452}{138542}How did a little perv like you|turn into such a great guy?
{138544}{138626}How did a little nympho like you|turn into such a great girl?
{138628}{138698}I'm still a nympho.|Oh, I'm still a perv.
{138700}{138803}I know.|What's wrong with us?
{139218}{139266}You know, Michelle,
{139269}{139351}to quote someone|I've learned quite a bit from,
{139353}{139411}"I think you and I...
{139413}{139512}are a perfectly natural,|normal thing."
{139540}{139596}Perfectly natural.
{140032}{140096}That's her.|Holy shit, dude.
{140098}{140150}I told you this wedding|would be worth it.
{140153}{140244}Oh, my goddess.|My queen. My MILF. Oh.
{140246}{140295}MILF. MILF.|MILF. MILF.
{140297}{140343}MILF. MILF.
{140685}{140745}No way, bro!
{140748}{140831}Hey, you're not finished yet,|are you, Finchy?
{140833}{140932}No, ma'am.|Just getting started.
{140934}{140994}This guy is the fucking master.
{141042}{141088}- Oh, no. Oh, no!|- Make it stop. Make it stop.
{141090}{141144}Make it stop.
{141146}{141217}Oh, Stifler's mom.
{141217}{141248}Oh, Stifler's mom.

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