1
00:01:00,811 --> 00:01:01,858
Is he asleep yet?
2
00:01:01,979 --> 00:01:04,607
Yeah, I'll go put him to bed.
3
00:01:07,943 --> 00:01:11,038
R. Kelly always does the trick.
4
00:01:11,947 --> 00:01:15,167
I think Evan may be
developing a rash.
5
00:01:15,325 --> 00:01:17,498
You know, when you rub
the Aquaphor on his tush,
6
00:01:17,578 --> 00:01:19,080
you can't just
put it on his cheeks,
7
00:01:19,162 --> 00:01:21,256
you have to rub it
all over the anus, too.
8
00:01:21,331 --> 00:01:23,333
All over the anus, got it.
9
00:01:25,127 --> 00:01:27,050
I think I'm going
to take a bath, okay?
10
00:01:27,212 --> 00:01:29,886
Okay, babe. Go for it.
11
00:01:54,239 --> 00:01:56,537
Not this time.
12
00:01:57,367 --> 00:02:01,372
Okay, come on, come on, come
on, come on, come on. Okay.
13
00:02:04,666 --> 00:02:05,713
Yep.
14
00:02:08,879 --> 00:02:10,802
Oh, yeah, you like
it nasty, don't you?
15
00:02:10,881 --> 00:02:14,385
Oh, I do. I do, I'm sorry.
Guilty as charged.
16
00:02:14,885 --> 00:02:16,603
God, you're so big, it hurts.
17
00:02:17,012 --> 00:02:18,605
I know, I can't help it.
18
00:02:18,764 --> 00:02:19,936
Oh, yeah!
19
00:02:20,098 --> 00:02:21,224
Give it to me, daddy. Oh, yeah.
20
00:02:21,308 --> 00:02:22,776
Give it to me, daddy.
Give it to me... Oh, yeah.
21
00:02:22,934 --> 00:02:24,186
Daddy?
22
00:02:25,896 --> 00:02:28,024
Evan! What the...
23
00:02:28,190 --> 00:02:29,567
You're opening doors now?
How did...
24
00:02:30,150 --> 00:02:31,868
I saw a monster. A what?
25
00:02:32,027 --> 00:02:33,745
Stick your
finger in my asshole.
26
00:02:33,904 --> 00:02:34,951
God.
27
00:02:35,113 --> 00:02:36,205
Fuck, yeah! Fuck, yeah!
28
00:02:36,281 --> 00:02:37,533
Come on, come on, come on.
Fuck, yeah!
29
00:02:37,699 --> 00:02:39,417
I want you to come
all over my...
30
00:02:40,577 --> 00:02:41,578
Oh, my God!
31
00:02:45,874 --> 00:02:47,421
Evan, don't touch that!
32
00:02:47,584 --> 00:02:48,836
Don't...
33
00:02:50,587 --> 00:02:51,759
Daddy, boo-boo.
34
00:02:52,589 --> 00:02:53,761
What the...
35
00:02:54,800 --> 00:02:55,847
Oh, my God.
36
00:02:55,926 --> 00:02:57,553
Okay, don't move. Stay here.
37
00:02:57,636 --> 00:02:59,388
Daddy needs a Band-Aid.
38
00:03:04,267 --> 00:03:05,439
Michelle?
39
00:03:07,437 --> 00:03:08,438
Do you...
40
00:03:10,273 --> 00:03:12,071
Mommy, Daddy, are you okay?
41
00:03:46,476 --> 00:03:47,568
Jim Levenstein.
42
00:03:47,644 --> 00:03:49,988
They still haven't gotten
you an assistant yet, huh?
43
00:03:50,147 --> 00:03:52,775
Kev, I'm sorry, I've been
meaning to call you back.
44
00:03:52,941 --> 00:03:54,614
I've just been... Busy?
45
00:03:54,776 --> 00:03:55,993
I get it.
46
00:03:56,153 --> 00:03:57,655
Look, I'll make
this quick, okay?
47
00:03:58,530 --> 00:04:00,828
The reunion, you in?
48
00:04:00,991 --> 00:04:02,789
Hold on, is that
really happening?
49
00:04:02,951 --> 00:04:04,328
Yeah, man, check your Facebook.
50
00:04:04,494 --> 00:04:06,246
Look, I know they missed
the ten-year by a couple,
51
00:04:06,329 --> 00:04:08,832
but, you know, seems like
people are actually going.
52
00:04:09,458 --> 00:04:11,176
Hey, hon. Hey!
53
00:04:11,251 --> 00:04:13,299
Mmm. Dinner smells great.
54
00:04:13,462 --> 00:04:14,429
Hey, Ellie.
55
00:04:14,504 --> 00:04:15,505
Hey, Jim.
56
00:04:15,839 --> 00:04:17,682
Ooh, Bachelorette finale later.
57
00:04:18,341 --> 00:04:20,810
And don't forget, we still
have to watch Real Housewives.
58
00:04:20,969 --> 00:04:23,017
Yeah, how could I forget?
59
00:04:23,180 --> 00:04:25,148
Hey, Kev, you know who
my favorite housewife is?
60
00:04:26,016 --> 00:04:27,313
You.
61
00:04:27,476 --> 00:04:28,693
Very funny.
62
00:04:28,852 --> 00:04:33,028
Look, I love my wife, but I
need a weekend with the guys.
63
00:04:33,190 --> 00:04:36,239
Come on, we'll go a few days early.
No Stifler this time.
64
00:04:36,401 --> 00:04:39,029
Just you, me, Oz and Finch.
65
00:04:39,196 --> 00:04:40,823
Yeah, well,
good luck with that.
66
00:04:40,989 --> 00:04:43,663
I heard Finch's mom doesn't
even know where he is.
67
00:04:43,825 --> 00:04:44,917
And what about Oz?
68
00:04:44,993 --> 00:04:48,338
I mean, do you really think he would
come with all he has going on?
69
00:04:54,711 --> 00:04:56,884
And we're back
here on Sports View,
70
00:04:56,963 --> 00:05:00,388
with my special guest,
Chad Ochocinco.
71
00:05:00,550 --> 00:05:03,178
Chad, which college
football powerhouse
72
00:05:03,345 --> 00:05:06,098
is gonna have the most players
drafted in this year's draft?
73
00:05:06,264 --> 00:05:09,188
I'm gonna have to go with my
alma mater, the Oregon State.
74
00:05:09,351 --> 00:05:12,571
Come on, man!
What are you smoking, Ocho?
75
00:05:12,729 --> 00:05:14,481
You think I don't know
what I'm talking about?
76
00:05:14,564 --> 00:05:16,737
Do me a favor,
take a look at the tape.
77
00:05:16,900 --> 00:05:19,073
Hey, babe, I'm home!
78
00:05:19,236 --> 00:05:22,581
And that wraps it up for my
special guest, Chad Ochocinco.
79
00:05:22,739 --> 00:05:27,415
This is Chris Ostreicher reminding
you to play on, plava!
80
00:05:36,628 --> 00:05:38,050
Hey, Mia?
81
00:05:39,589 --> 00:05:42,843
Oh, my gosh! So funny.
82
00:05:45,095 --> 00:05:46,972
Oh, hey, baby!
83
00:05:47,556 --> 00:05:48,603
Hi!
84
00:05:48,765 --> 00:05:50,642
I was just watching
your show a minute ago.
85
00:05:50,725 --> 00:05:51,772
Oh, yeah?
86
00:05:51,935 --> 00:05:53,027
Is everything okay?
87
00:05:53,186 --> 00:05:55,939
You tell me. You're in the
hot tub with another dude.
88
00:05:56,106 --> 00:05:57,449
You are worried about Deshaun?
89
00:05:57,899 --> 00:05:59,776
Aw, that is so cute!
90
00:05:59,943 --> 00:06:02,913
Deshaun's the interior
decorator I told you about.
91
00:06:03,071 --> 00:06:04,539
Hey, Christopher!
92
00:06:04,698 --> 00:06:06,951
Strip down! Come join us.
93
00:06:07,576 --> 00:06:10,420
Maybe next time, Deshaun.
94
00:06:13,248 --> 00:06:15,922
I still don't get why we
need an interior decorator.
95
00:06:16,084 --> 00:06:19,213
Because the place needs to look
perfect for the InStyle shoot.
96
00:06:19,379 --> 00:06:20,972
Babe, trust me.
97
00:06:21,131 --> 00:06:23,509
Remember how you didn't wanna go
on Celebrity Dance Off at first?
98
00:06:23,925 --> 00:06:25,893
Now think of all
the fans you have.
99
00:06:26,052 --> 00:06:30,728
Oh! I almost forgot, Mario Lopez
is having a Memorial Day party.
100
00:06:31,474 --> 00:06:32,726
I told him we're in.
101
00:06:32,809 --> 00:06:36,564
Actually,
I was thinking about going
102
00:06:36,646 --> 00:06:39,069
to my high school
reunion that weekend.
103
00:06:40,150 --> 00:06:42,949
Well, if you're going,
I'm going, too.
104
00:06:43,236 --> 00:06:44,783
Really? Yeah.
105
00:06:44,946 --> 00:06:45,947
All right.
106
00:06:46,031 --> 00:06:48,375
Mia, love, phone call.
It's Rumer.
107
00:06:48,450 --> 00:06:50,293
Oh, shit, let me talk to her.
108
00:06:50,952 --> 00:06:53,751
What's with you jacking
my style, bitch?
109
00:06:54,956 --> 00:06:56,629
Anything I can
get for you, Christopher?
110
00:07:00,921 --> 00:07:02,013
Uh...
111
00:07:18,021 --> 00:07:21,321
Morning, co-workers
and cock-jerkers!
112
00:07:21,983 --> 00:07:23,280
Reggie, give me some love.
113
00:07:23,360 --> 00:07:24,953
Looking good, Stifler.
114
00:07:26,029 --> 00:07:27,781
Ladies, better be working hard,
115
00:07:27,864 --> 00:07:29,286
you weren't hired
for your looks.
116
00:07:29,366 --> 00:07:31,039
Actually, you were.
117
00:07:31,368 --> 00:07:32,665
Not you.
118
00:07:34,537 --> 00:07:35,959
Seriously?
119
00:07:38,166 --> 00:07:40,089
Bob, what are you doing here?
120
00:07:40,168 --> 00:07:41,420
Don't you know
they fired your ass?
121
00:07:41,503 --> 00:07:42,595
What?
122
00:07:42,671 --> 00:07:44,514
I'm just fucking with you.
123
00:07:44,673 --> 00:07:45,799
Or am I?
124
00:07:45,882 --> 00:07:47,600
Hey!
125
00:07:49,386 --> 00:07:51,730
Coffee for the pretty lady?
126
00:07:52,389 --> 00:07:53,686
Sure, thanks.
127
00:07:53,848 --> 00:07:55,816
Let me know if you want
some creamer with that.
128
00:08:01,731 --> 00:08:04,905
Hello, you. How are you?
129
00:08:05,068 --> 00:08:06,593
"Oh, I'm good, Stifmeister,
'cause you know what?
130
00:08:06,594 --> 00:08:08,117
'Cause you're the best."
131
00:08:08,196 --> 00:08:10,494
"Oh, I am the best."
"Yes, you are the..."
132
00:08:10,657 --> 00:08:13,786
"You know, I love you so much that I'm
going to just have some fun down here."
133
00:08:13,868 --> 00:08:15,285
"Oh, yeah, yeah..."
134
00:08:15,286 --> 00:08:17,664
What the hell are you doing?
Jesus Christ!
135
00:08:17,914 --> 00:08:21,043
Shit, sorry, Mr. Duraiswamy
It's... I was just...
136
00:08:21,167 --> 00:08:22,168
Huh?
That's good, it's all clean.
137
00:08:22,752 --> 00:08:25,005
I told you to print out the morning
numbers and put them on my desk,
138
00:08:25,088 --> 00:08:26,635
and you're making
yourself at home?
139
00:08:26,756 --> 00:08:28,554
No, I just thought...
"I just thought..."
140
00:08:28,883 --> 00:08:31,102
I don't pay you to think.
You are a temp.
141
00:08:31,553 --> 00:08:34,432
Yeah, about that. I feel like I'm
being way underutilized here.
142
00:08:35,557 --> 00:08:36,854
Oh, you do, do you?
143
00:08:37,058 --> 00:08:38,935
Thank you for telling
me how you feel.
144
00:08:39,102 --> 00:08:40,729
Do you mind if I
tell you how I feel?
145
00:08:41,563 --> 00:08:44,942
I feel the sooner you realize
that you're the bitch,
146
00:08:45,775 --> 00:08:47,027
not the boss,
147
00:08:48,737 --> 00:08:50,410
the better off you will be.
148
00:08:51,239 --> 00:08:52,832
Fucker. What was that?
149
00:08:52,991 --> 00:08:54,117
Nothing!
150
00:08:54,200 --> 00:08:56,419
Nothing, Mr. Duraiswamy.
151
00:08:56,911 --> 00:08:58,254
Fucker!
152
00:09:05,378 --> 00:09:09,178
You know, we still haven't
discussed the whole
153
00:09:10,341 --> 00:09:11,558
bathtub incident.
154
00:09:11,634 --> 00:09:13,728
Huh? Oh, that? That's...
155
00:09:14,387 --> 00:09:16,060
That“ Don't worry about that.
156
00:09:17,557 --> 00:09:19,980
Well, I mean,
you know, obviously,
157
00:09:20,060 --> 00:09:22,688
I would prefer it
if I was the one
158
00:09:22,771 --> 00:09:25,024
that made you
feel that way, but...
159
00:09:25,440 --> 00:09:26,692
I know how you feel.
160
00:09:27,108 --> 00:09:30,863
Every time I want to shop online
and I start typing "Amazon,"
161
00:09:31,029 --> 00:09:35,535
"amazingcollegesluts.com"
pops up.
162
00:09:36,659 --> 00:09:38,457
Amazing what?
163
00:09:39,162 --> 00:09:41,915
Okay, look, obviously
164
00:09:43,625 --> 00:09:47,596
we need to have
more fun together.
165
00:09:47,754 --> 00:09:49,552
I promise you, this weekend,
166
00:09:49,714 --> 00:09:54,060
there is going to be plenty of
Jim and Michelle time, okay?
167
00:10:01,893 --> 00:10:02,985
Hey!
168
00:10:03,061 --> 00:10:04,108
Hello, sweetheart.
169
00:10:04,187 --> 00:10:05,530
How are you? Oh!
170
00:10:05,647 --> 00:10:07,240
- It's so good to see you.
- Hey, Dad.
171
00:10:07,440 --> 00:10:09,113
Hello, son! Come here.
172
00:10:09,192 --> 00:10:11,695
Hi! Hi!
173
00:10:11,778 --> 00:10:13,746
Oh, no! Look who that is!
174
00:10:13,822 --> 00:10:17,452
Look at this big bruiser!
Oh, my goodness!
175
00:10:17,617 --> 00:10:20,211
- He has grown.
- Look at him! Huh?
176
00:10:20,870 --> 00:10:23,794
Someone's got
a little poopy diaper.
177
00:10:56,030 --> 00:10:57,031
Jim?
178
00:11:01,494 --> 00:11:03,542
I can't believe it's you.
179
00:11:05,331 --> 00:11:06,878
You don't remember me, do you?
180
00:11:07,250 --> 00:11:10,379
Uh...
Remember Teletubby Tuesdays?
181
00:11:11,671 --> 00:11:12,923
Kara?
182
00:11:13,590 --> 00:11:14,762
Oh, my God.
183
00:11:15,008 --> 00:11:19,434
What? You're not
a kid any more.
184
00:11:19,596 --> 00:11:22,065
It's been a long time since
I needed a babysitter.
185
00:11:22,223 --> 00:11:26,103
I can't believe how
much you've grown up.
186
00:11:26,269 --> 00:11:27,316
Thanks!
187
00:11:27,395 --> 00:11:29,397
It's actually my 18th
birthday tomorrow.
188
00:11:29,564 --> 00:11:30,565
Eighteen, wow.
189
00:11:30,690 --> 00:11:32,237
You should come to my party.
190
00:11:32,317 --> 00:11:33,318
Oh, uh...
191
00:11:33,443 --> 00:11:35,571
Thank you, no. I...
Yeah, that might be difficult.
192
00:11:35,653 --> 00:11:37,530
Please, I want you
to come so bad.
193
00:11:39,782 --> 00:11:42,126
Hey, Kara! We gotta go.
194
00:11:42,452 --> 00:11:44,454
Okay, relax.
195
00:11:45,079 --> 00:11:47,377
That's AJ. Don't ask.
196
00:11:47,540 --> 00:11:49,542
Hopefully I will
see you tomorrow.
197
00:11:50,210 --> 00:11:52,133
- What?
- Who the fuck was that?
198
00:11:53,880 --> 00:11:54,881
Hey, sweetie.
199
00:11:54,964 --> 00:11:55,965
Hey.
200
00:11:56,132 --> 00:11:57,224
Who were you talking to?
201
00:11:57,300 --> 00:11:59,803
That was just
the kid next door.
202
00:12:24,285 --> 00:12:26,629
Hello, my old friends.
203
00:12:34,796 --> 00:12:37,015
I thought about
throwing them out,
204
00:12:38,007 --> 00:12:41,432
but they just have
too much sentimental value.
205
00:12:41,594 --> 00:12:42,641
Yeah.
206
00:12:43,513 --> 00:12:46,266
Oh, Jim, Jim, Jim.
207
00:12:49,519 --> 00:12:52,363
You know, I can remember when
you were just a little guy.
208
00:12:52,647 --> 00:12:54,445
And now you've got
your own little guy.
209
00:12:54,607 --> 00:12:55,608
I know.
210
00:12:55,692 --> 00:12:58,411
And before you know it,
he's gonna be a teenager...
211
00:12:58,486 --> 00:12:59,612
Wow.
212
00:12:59,696 --> 00:13:03,121
And you'll be teaching him
about masturbation
213
00:13:03,283 --> 00:13:05,786
and, you know, all the
do's and all the don'ts
214
00:13:05,868 --> 00:13:07,211
that have to do with
the little guy's weenie.
215
00:13:07,287 --> 00:13:08,288
Right? Okay?
216
00:13:08,371 --> 00:13:11,124
Hopefully, it'll be more of a bratwurst
by the time he's a teenager...
217
00:13:11,207 --> 00:13:12,424
Okay, Dad, I get it.
...but I'm just...
218
00:13:12,500 --> 00:13:14,002
Well, these are things you're
gonna have to deal with.
219
00:13:14,085 --> 00:13:15,758
I understand. It's just,
you know, he's two.
220
00:13:15,837 --> 00:13:17,680
Well, yeah, maybe
you've got time, but..
221
00:13:17,755 --> 00:13:20,725
So, you know, I just, I'd rather
not talk about his penis.
222
00:13:20,800 --> 00:13:22,928
How you doing, Dad? I'm good.
223
00:13:23,011 --> 00:13:26,106
Yeah? What are you doing for fun?
You seen any movies lately?
224
00:13:26,723 --> 00:13:29,897
Well, you know, your mother and
I did go to a lot of movies.
225
00:13:31,644 --> 00:13:32,645
Well...
226
00:13:34,397 --> 00:13:38,243
You know, it has been three
years since she passed, Dad.
227
00:13:39,068 --> 00:13:41,571
There's gotta be someone in
town you can see a movie with.
228
00:13:42,405 --> 00:13:45,033
I have you now.
We'll see a movie tonight, you and me.
229
00:13:45,742 --> 00:13:47,085
Tonight?
230
00:13:47,535 --> 00:13:48,878
Well, I made plans
with the guys,
231
00:13:48,953 --> 00:13:50,671
to meet up with them
tonight at the bar... Oh.
232
00:13:50,747 --> 00:13:51,919
But... Yeah, yeah...
233
00:13:51,998 --> 00:13:54,672
But I don't need to do that.
I can do that tomorrow.
234
00:13:54,751 --> 00:13:57,425
No. No, no, no, no.
This is why you're in town, isn't it?
235
00:13:57,587 --> 00:13:59,840
No, no, no.
You go. I'll be fine.
236
00:13:59,922 --> 00:14:02,141
I was just planning
on staying in tonight
237
00:14:02,216 --> 00:14:03,934
and, you know,
doing a little reading.
238
00:14:06,929 --> 00:14:10,433
Oh, not this. No. No.
239
00:14:11,184 --> 00:14:15,610
Although, I do remember reading
a very interesting article
240
00:14:15,772 --> 00:14:18,616
on something Brazilian.
241
00:14:18,775 --> 00:14:22,200
Boy, these pages are all
stuck together here.
242
00:14:24,864 --> 00:14:25,911
I got it.
243
00:14:34,624 --> 00:14:35,625
Kev.
244
00:14:36,542 --> 00:14:37,589
Hey!
245
00:14:38,378 --> 00:14:40,801
What's up, man? Jim.
246
00:14:41,089 --> 00:14:42,136
Hey, guys!
247
00:14:42,256 --> 00:14:43,758
Oz. There he is.
248
00:14:43,841 --> 00:14:44,888
You made it.
249
00:14:45,218 --> 00:14:47,846
Hey, I missed your wedding,
I wasn't gonna miss this.
250
00:14:47,970 --> 00:14:49,643
Hey, buddy. What's up, pal?
251
00:14:49,806 --> 00:14:51,479
Good to see you. Yeah, man.
252
00:14:51,641 --> 00:14:53,143
Hey, Kev!
253
00:14:53,226 --> 00:14:54,523
Looking good, look at you!
254
00:14:54,602 --> 00:14:56,400
Oh, stop it. Come on.
255
00:15:13,162 --> 00:15:14,163
Gentlemen.
256
00:15:14,414 --> 00:15:16,291
Finch? Finch!
257
00:15:16,374 --> 00:15:17,421
Oh, my God!
It great to see you, James.
258
00:15:17,500 --> 00:15:18,467
Changed at all, Jim.
259
00:15:18,543 --> 00:15:19,544
Good to see you, pal.
260
00:15:19,627 --> 00:15:20,674
I didn't think you
were gonna make it.
261
00:15:20,753 --> 00:15:21,754
Finch, how are you, man?
262
00:15:22,130 --> 00:15:26,761
So, after my troubles in Beijing,
I just moved to Dubai,
263
00:15:26,926 --> 00:15:30,100
and then I got all caught up in the
world of underground baccarat.
264
00:15:30,263 --> 00:15:33,563
Spent the rest of '09 living
with this African tribe.
265
00:15:33,641 --> 00:15:36,815
Oh, they made me
an honorary tribesman.
266
00:15:36,936 --> 00:15:37,937
Oh.
267
00:15:38,187 --> 00:15:39,359
Whoa, that looks like it hurt.
268
00:15:39,522 --> 00:15:41,524
It looks like that
because it did hurt, Kevin.
269
00:15:41,691 --> 00:15:45,696
Since then, I've just been
biking through South America.
270
00:15:45,862 --> 00:15:48,786
So, basically, you are the most
interesting man in the world.
271
00:15:48,865 --> 00:15:51,038
Yeah. Let me guess,
272
00:15:51,284 --> 00:15:53,662
you guys are here
for the reunion, huh?
273
00:15:53,828 --> 00:15:55,830
You got it. Class of '99.
274
00:15:55,997 --> 00:15:57,544
Haven%I seen you before?
275
00:15:57,707 --> 00:15:59,801
Yeah, I'm on TV.
276
00:15:59,959 --> 00:16:02,337
No, not you. You.
277
00:16:03,963 --> 00:16:07,888
'Cause, your face,
you're just so familiar.
278
00:16:08,050 --> 00:16:10,644
Yeah! Yeah, this is you, right?
279
00:16:10,720 --> 00:16:12,643
Oh! Man, Nadia!
280
00:16:12,722 --> 00:16:15,191
More, more, you bad boy!
281
00:16:15,349 --> 00:16:17,477
I swear I had these all taken down.
How did you...
282
00:16:17,560 --> 00:16:19,654
Oh, yeah. How many times did
you pre-ejaculate again?
283
00:16:19,729 --> 00:16:21,197
Oh, leave him alone.
284
00:16:21,355 --> 00:16:24,359
I bet you were all desperate
virgins back then.
285
00:16:28,070 --> 00:16:29,242
Selena Vega.
286
00:16:29,739 --> 00:16:32,663
That's Selena Vega in front of us.
Wait, wait, wait, Selena...
287
00:16:32,742 --> 00:16:34,744
Hold on, Michelle's
friend from band?
288
00:16:34,827 --> 00:16:35,828
You got it.
289
00:16:35,912 --> 00:16:37,710
Oh, my God. I'm sorry
I didn't recognize you.
290
00:16:37,872 --> 00:16:39,215
You look
291
00:16:39,665 --> 00:16:40,666
different.
292
00:16:40,917 --> 00:16:43,670
Well, next round's
on me, okay, guys?
293
00:16:44,670 --> 00:16:46,843
Hey, that chick was in band?
294
00:16:47,215 --> 00:16:49,434
This is the first long weekend
I have had in a while
295
00:16:49,509 --> 00:16:50,761
so I wanna make it count.
296
00:16:50,927 --> 00:16:54,056
I want the place spotless, and
I want it filled with booze.
297
00:16:54,222 --> 00:16:56,145
And I wanna make sure you're
not around on Sunday night,
298
00:16:56,224 --> 00:16:58,192
'cause I plan on bringing some
ass back from the reunion,
299
00:16:58,267 --> 00:17:00,861
and I wanna tap that without you there.
You got it?
300
00:17:01,020 --> 00:17:04,274
You know, first of all,
Steven, it's my house.
301
00:17:04,440 --> 00:17:06,067
You're lucky I'm
letting you stay here.
302
00:17:06,359 --> 00:17:08,361
Look, you wanted me to
get a job, so I got one.
303
00:17:08,528 --> 00:17:10,201
At least let me have the
house for the weekend.
304
00:17:10,363 --> 00:17:12,616
My house, my rules.
305
00:17:12,782 --> 00:17:15,080
And as for tonight, if you
don't wanna risk coming home
306
00:17:15,243 --> 00:17:16,870
and seeing more of your
mother than you'd like,
307
00:17:17,036 --> 00:17:19,710
I suggest you stay out late.
308
00:17:21,999 --> 00:17:23,000
Gross.
309
00:17:26,963 --> 00:17:28,306
That was really...
310
00:17:28,839 --> 00:17:30,682
Hey, bar wench,
can I get a Budweiser?
311
00:17:34,470 --> 00:17:35,471
Beer down.
312
00:17:37,515 --> 00:17:40,359
What the fuck are you
fuckers doing here?
313
00:17:47,108 --> 00:17:49,031
You made it! Made what?
314
00:17:49,110 --> 00:17:50,157
What are you talking about?
315
00:17:50,319 --> 00:17:53,243
What do you mean?
We sent you an e-mail
316
00:17:53,406 --> 00:17:56,125
about getting together a couple
of days before the reunion.
317
00:17:56,284 --> 00:18:00,209
You know what? I must have put
two F's in "Stifmeister."
318
00:18:00,371 --> 00:18:01,793
What? I'm sorry.
319
00:18:05,835 --> 00:18:08,008
Two F's? You dumbass!
320
00:18:08,087 --> 00:18:09,384
Kev!
321
00:18:09,463 --> 00:18:11,340
Hey, Kevin, is that
a pussy on your face?
322
00:18:11,549 --> 00:18:12,801
Oh, come on!
323
00:18:12,967 --> 00:18:14,685
Yeah, yeah, yeah!
324
00:18:14,760 --> 00:18:15,886
Nice.
325
00:18:15,970 --> 00:18:17,643
So, Stifler,
you're looking sharp.
326
00:18:17,722 --> 00:18:19,144
What are you up to these days?
327
00:18:19,849 --> 00:18:21,601
I work at JBH Global.
328
00:18:22,184 --> 00:18:23,686
Wow! That's a big-time firm.
329
00:18:23,936 --> 00:18:24,937
What do you do over there?
330
00:18:25,187 --> 00:18:27,189
Oh, you know,
331
00:18:27,773 --> 00:18:29,366
investment stuff.
332
00:18:29,734 --> 00:18:32,203
People wonder why our financial
system's falling apart.
333
00:18:32,653 --> 00:18:35,327
Nice scarf. I see you finally
came out of the closet.
334
00:18:35,489 --> 00:18:37,036
How is your mother, Stifler?
335
00:18:37,199 --> 00:18:38,917
You stay away from
my mom, shitbreak.
336
00:18:39,076 --> 00:18:41,579
Okay, boys,
the past is the past.
337
00:18:41,662 --> 00:18:43,289
We can bury
the hatchet here, huh?
338
00:18:43,372 --> 00:18:45,045
Yeah, fuck it.
339
00:18:45,207 --> 00:18:47,960
Hey, short-shorts!
A round of Jägerbombs for me and my boys!
340
00:18:48,127 --> 00:18:49,470
Go fuck yourself, Stifler.
341
00:18:50,338 --> 00:18:52,011
How the hell does
she know my name?
342
00:18:52,757 --> 00:18:55,055
Lard Arms?
343
00:18:55,134 --> 00:18:56,306
Jesus, Stifler.
344
00:18:56,510 --> 00:18:59,354
Talk about an ugly duckling
turning into a swan, right?
345
00:19:00,973 --> 00:19:02,350
Let me see that.
346
00:19:04,018 --> 00:19:08,774
Oh! Fingered her,
hairy nips, huge boobs.
347
00:19:10,066 --> 00:19:11,443
Oh.
348
00:19:12,026 --> 00:19:13,619
There she is!
349
00:19:14,236 --> 00:19:15,738
The crГ©me de my cock.
350
00:19:16,447 --> 00:19:17,573
Blowjob Lipstein.
351
00:19:17,782 --> 00:19:21,082
Her given name
was Loni, Stifler.
352
00:19:21,243 --> 00:19:23,962
She used to call me Big Stiffy.
353
00:19:25,665 --> 00:19:27,963
She was the mouth
that got away.
354
00:19:28,125 --> 00:19:29,172
Last call!
355
00:19:29,335 --> 00:19:32,464
Already? Wait here, guys.
356
00:19:33,339 --> 00:19:35,933
Oh! Man, the Senior Wish List.
357
00:19:36,592 --> 00:19:38,060
Wish List?
I don't remember that.
358
00:19:38,135 --> 00:19:40,854
Oh, yeah, man.
It's that cheesy page in the yearbook
359
00:19:40,930 --> 00:19:43,058
where we all had to write
wishes about our future.
360
00:19:43,140 --> 00:19:46,019
What, did you write something cheesy?
Let's see.
361
00:19:46,185 --> 00:19:50,941
"Chris Ostreicher.
Hopes to coach his son's lacrosse team."
362
00:19:51,023 --> 00:19:53,242
Oh! Isn't that the
sweetest thing?
363
00:19:53,317 --> 00:19:54,534
Well,
364
00:19:55,569 --> 00:19:57,742
I guess I thought
I'd have a family by now.
365
00:19:57,822 --> 00:19:59,119
All right, you wanna hear
what you wrote, Finch?
366
00:19:59,198 --> 00:20:00,290
I do.
367
00:20:00,449 --> 00:20:04,249
"Paul Finch hopes to
find le grand amour."
368
00:20:05,162 --> 00:20:06,539
Yes, true love.
369
00:20:07,331 --> 00:20:11,256
Alas, I have yet to find what you
would call a real relationship.
370
00:20:11,419 --> 00:20:14,047
Right, because banging
Stifler's mom didn't count.
371
00:20:15,589 --> 00:20:17,262
All right, let's see
what you got, Kev.
372
00:20:17,425 --> 00:20:20,850
"Kevin Myers. Hopes to
still be living it up"
373
00:20:21,011 --> 00:20:24,106
"with the amazing
Vicky Lathum."
374
00:20:24,265 --> 00:20:25,562
Oh, man! Vicky! What?
375
00:20:25,725 --> 00:20:28,023
I am sure your wife would
be very happy to read that.
376
00:20:28,185 --> 00:20:30,938
What? I was dating
Vicky at the time.
377
00:20:31,355 --> 00:20:32,447
Let me see what I put.
378
00:20:34,275 --> 00:20:35,902
"Jim Levenstein"
379
00:20:41,991 --> 00:20:45,086
"hopes to have the
sex life of Ricky Martin."
380
00:20:47,663 --> 00:20:50,917
So, I'm assuming you didn't
know he was gay back then.
381
00:20:51,125 --> 00:20:52,672
Jim, it's a good thing
you found a woman
382
00:20:52,752 --> 00:20:54,595
with the sex drive
of a dozen groupies. Hmm?
383
00:20:55,004 --> 00:20:57,006
I mean, you're probably having
more sex than any of us.
384
00:20:58,507 --> 00:21:00,350
Probably, you know.
385
00:21:00,509 --> 00:21:03,513
Hope you guys are thirsty.
Stifler Claus is here.
386
00:21:03,679 --> 00:21:06,273
Whoa! Stifler, that's a little
too much, don't you think?
387
00:21:06,432 --> 00:21:08,526
Dude, find your balls
and return them to your sack.
388
00:21:09,143 --> 00:21:10,690
I say we keep this party going.
389
00:21:10,770 --> 00:21:12,693
I say we make this
weekend our bitch.
390
00:21:13,105 --> 00:21:16,325
We could party together, do all the
same shit that we used to do together.
391
00:21:16,484 --> 00:21:17,827
It'll be just like old times.
392
00:21:17,985 --> 00:21:20,659
Hell yes! That's why I'm here.
393
00:21:20,821 --> 00:21:23,324
No Bachelorette,
no Real Housewives.
394
00:21:23,491 --> 00:21:27,041
Thing is, you only get one
chance at your 13th reunion.
395
00:21:29,830 --> 00:21:32,583
I was kind of hoping to spend
a little time with the wife.
396
00:21:32,708 --> 00:21:33,709
Fuck! Dude!
397
00:21:33,793 --> 00:21:36,171
James? What? Come on!
398
00:21:36,670 --> 00:21:39,014
I mean, I'm in. Of course I'm in.
Come on, what?
399
00:21:39,173 --> 00:21:40,174
Yeah! Yeah.
400
00:21:40,382 --> 00:21:43,932
Then, gentlemen, I hope you're
all wearing protection,
401
00:21:44,094 --> 00:21:46,142
because this weekend,
we're gonna fuck shit up!
402
00:21:46,931 --> 00:21:47,978
- Cheers!
- Yeah! All right!
403
00:22:08,828 --> 00:22:10,626
What the fuck?
404
00:22:12,206 --> 00:22:14,174
Holy shit.
405
00:22:18,379 --> 00:22:19,676
Hey!
406
00:22:19,839 --> 00:22:21,261
Hi.
407
00:22:22,591 --> 00:22:23,683
What happened?
408
00:22:24,885 --> 00:22:28,435
I don't really remember.
409
00:22:28,597 --> 00:22:32,522
I blame you. How much did you
let him drink last night?
410
00:22:32,685 --> 00:22:35,404
Honestly, not that much.
411
00:22:35,563 --> 00:22:38,783
Well, we gotta clean this up
before we go to the lake.
412
00:22:38,941 --> 00:22:42,036
What? The lake?
413
00:22:42,736 --> 00:22:45,285
Yeah, the lake, dude.
It was your idea.
414
00:22:45,406 --> 00:22:48,000
We discussed
all this last night.
415
00:22:48,158 --> 00:22:50,377
Oh, the lake!
Yes, of course, the...
416
00:22:50,536 --> 00:22:52,755
Hey, Jim, can you hand me
those paper towels, please?
417
00:22:55,875 --> 00:22:58,469
Oh, those paper towels?
The paper ones.
418
00:22:59,461 --> 00:23:00,553
Uh...
419
00:23:01,922 --> 00:23:03,390
The paper towels, Jim.
420
00:23:04,049 --> 00:23:05,471
Jim! Yeah...
421
00:23:05,551 --> 00:23:07,019
The paper towels!
422
00:23:13,100 --> 00:23:15,478
I'm really sorry.
423
00:23:15,644 --> 00:23:20,525
Jim, you do realize that
the lid is see-through, right?
424
00:23:23,485 --> 00:23:25,158
Oh, wow.
425
00:23:28,032 --> 00:23:29,579
Good eye.
426
00:23:30,993 --> 00:23:33,166
That's the father of my child.
427
00:23:47,676 --> 00:23:49,144
Oh, come on!
428
00:23:49,219 --> 00:23:51,722
Hey, watch it! Okay, jeez.
429
00:23:52,890 --> 00:23:55,439
Am I wrong, or was this place a lot
more fun when we were younger?
430
00:23:55,601 --> 00:23:58,775
No, no. I think it's the same.
We're just old now.
431
00:23:59,980 --> 00:24:03,154
But were we just as obnoxious
as these kids back in the day?
432
00:24:03,317 --> 00:24:04,489
No.
433
00:24:05,110 --> 00:24:07,329
Us, our generation,
we were more mature.
434
00:24:07,488 --> 00:24:09,161
Hey, guys, check it out.
435
00:24:10,282 --> 00:24:11,659
Vagina shark!
436
00:24:15,287 --> 00:24:16,584
He touched my snatch!
437
00:24:17,081 --> 00:24:18,833
I take that back.
438
00:24:27,132 --> 00:24:29,260
Oh, my God.
439
00:24:29,510 --> 00:24:31,183
Fellas, do you gotta stare?
440
00:24:31,345 --> 00:24:32,346
Yeah. Yeah.
441
00:24:32,513 --> 00:24:34,106
Yes, we do need to stare.
442
00:24:35,349 --> 00:24:39,149
Could Jim be any more obvious?
443
00:24:40,062 --> 00:24:41,735
Oh, give him a break.
444
00:24:42,147 --> 00:24:45,492
I mean, it's not every day you get to see
a model walking around off the page.
445
00:24:46,235 --> 00:24:49,990
There hasn't been
a whole lot of sexy time
446
00:24:50,072 --> 00:24:52,120
in the Levenstein
household lately.
447
00:24:52,199 --> 00:24:53,200
Why not?
448
00:24:54,118 --> 00:24:56,997
I don't know. I'm a mom now.
449
00:24:57,079 --> 00:24:59,377
Oh, please!
450
00:24:59,540 --> 00:25:01,463
Just because you're
a mom doesn't mean
451
00:25:01,542 --> 00:25:04,091
there isn't a whole other side to you.
452
00:25:05,170 --> 00:25:07,969
Hey, remember that
one time at band camp,
453
00:25:08,173 --> 00:25:10,517
when we licked whipped cream
off each other's...
454
00:25:10,592 --> 00:25:13,812
Yes! Yes! I remember.
455
00:25:14,054 --> 00:25:16,056
Let's keep that
in the past, though, okay?
456
00:25:18,642 --> 00:25:19,689
Oh, she's...
457
00:25:20,102 --> 00:25:22,446
Yeah, well, you gotta do that, or
else you're gonna get tan lines.
458
00:25:22,604 --> 00:25:25,073
Sideboob. There... Sorry.
Sideboob. Ozzy, look!
459
00:25:25,232 --> 00:25:27,610
Okay! Come on!
460
00:25:28,318 --> 00:25:30,491
You're a lucky man, Oz.
461
00:25:31,071 --> 00:25:33,915
Oh, come on, guys.
I think we're all pretty
462
00:25:35,159 --> 00:25:36,786
lucky.
463
00:25:39,204 --> 00:25:42,299
Wait, is that Heather?
464
00:25:45,794 --> 00:25:47,137
Yeah, it is.
465
00:25:50,632 --> 00:25:51,633
Heather.
466
00:25:51,759 --> 00:25:52,760
Chris!
467
00:25:53,719 --> 00:25:54,811
Hey.
468
00:25:55,262 --> 00:25:56,479
What are you doing here?
469
00:25:56,638 --> 00:26:00,393
I guess we had
the same idea, huh?
470
00:26:00,934 --> 00:26:03,107
Chris, this is Ron,
my boyfriend.
471
00:26:03,312 --> 00:26:05,565
Chris Ostreicher, Ron Douglas.
It's a pleasure to meet you.
472
00:26:05,731 --> 00:26:06,732
How do you do?
473
00:26:06,815 --> 00:26:08,817
Ron's a cardiologist
at my hospital.
474
00:26:09,151 --> 00:26:11,324
A cardiologist. Wow.
475
00:26:11,487 --> 00:26:15,037
Yeah. And, hey, listen, my friends call
me Doctor Ron, D-Ron or just Dron.
476
00:26:15,115 --> 00:26:16,082
So you feel free.
477
00:26:16,158 --> 00:26:17,705
Okay.
478
00:26:17,785 --> 00:26:18,957
Hey, fuckface!
479
00:26:19,495 --> 00:26:21,168
Choir chick! Whoa!
480
00:26:21,997 --> 00:26:23,590
Nice to see you, too, Stifler.
481
00:26:23,791 --> 00:26:24,792
Who's this douche?
482
00:26:26,001 --> 00:26:27,173
I'm her boyfriend.
483
00:26:28,504 --> 00:26:30,632
So, you two are banging,
484
00:26:31,006 --> 00:26:33,259
and you two used to bang.
485
00:26:34,343 --> 00:26:36,266
This must be awkward
for all of you.
486
00:26:36,345 --> 00:26:38,097
It is now.
487
00:26:39,807 --> 00:26:41,650
That little shit took my top!
488
00:26:41,809 --> 00:26:43,152
Give it back!
489
00:26:43,519 --> 00:26:47,149
Um, that's my girlfriend.
490
00:26:48,982 --> 00:26:50,609
What's this? What's this?
491
00:26:51,819 --> 00:26:54,789
Hey, kid!
What do you think you're doing?
492
00:26:54,947 --> 00:26:57,541
Hey!
Come on, come on, let's go!
493
00:26:57,699 --> 00:26:59,827
Come on, guys. Not cool!
494
00:27:00,452 --> 00:27:02,955
What're you assholes gonna do about it?
495
00:27:11,880 --> 00:27:14,133
Well, that was interesting.
496
00:27:14,299 --> 00:27:15,676
Well, should we do something?
497
00:27:16,051 --> 00:27:17,143
What are we gonna do? Come on.
498
00:27:17,219 --> 00:27:20,393
Agreed. There's no need
to stoop to their level.
499
00:27:20,556 --> 00:27:21,978
Fuck that!
500
00:27:22,141 --> 00:27:24,064
I know exactly
where they're going.
501
00:27:27,146 --> 00:27:28,363
Stifler?
502
00:27:46,915 --> 00:27:48,417
Where the hell is he?
503
00:27:48,584 --> 00:27:49,927
Guys, this is stupid.
504
00:27:50,085 --> 00:27:52,213
I really can't keep Michelle waiting.
Can we just head back?
505
00:27:52,379 --> 00:27:54,256
Hold on.
Let Stifler do his thing.
506
00:27:54,423 --> 00:27:56,517
Yeah, that's what
I'm afraid of.
507
00:28:04,099 --> 00:28:05,726
Did you guys see
the look on their faces?
508
00:28:05,893 --> 00:28:06,940
Fucking awesome.
509
00:28:07,102 --> 00:28:08,570
He is crazy.
510
00:28:10,105 --> 00:28:12,858
I think one of those guys
was Kara's babysitter.
511
00:28:12,941 --> 00:28:14,033
Which one?
512
00:28:14,109 --> 00:28:16,407
You know, the one that
looked like Adam Sandler.
513
00:28:23,911 --> 00:28:26,130
Stifler better not
do anything crazy.
514
00:28:26,288 --> 00:28:27,915
All he's gonna do
is tell them off.
515
00:28:28,081 --> 00:28:29,879
I thought he was gonna
cut their jet skis free.
516
00:28:30,042 --> 00:28:31,589
What happened to pissing
in their suntan lotion?
517
00:28:31,752 --> 00:28:34,221
Hold on. He told me he was
going to steal their beer.
518
00:28:35,422 --> 00:28:36,469
Stifler.
519
00:28:47,768 --> 00:28:50,362
Oh, wait. There he is.
520
00:28:50,437 --> 00:28:51,563
All right.
521
00:28:51,647 --> 00:28:53,945
Yep, he's taking their beer.
522
00:28:54,274 --> 00:28:56,276
All right, hurry up,
Stifler. Come on.
523
00:28:57,277 --> 00:28:59,496
What is he doing?
524
00:28:59,613 --> 00:29:01,081
- Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
- Wait.
525
00:29:01,156 --> 00:29:02,783
Oh, my God.
526
00:29:02,908 --> 00:29:04,080
Steven! No!
527
00:29:04,159 --> 00:29:05,160
Oh, God.
528
00:29:05,410 --> 00:29:07,333
Yo, so you really think Kara's
gonna give it up tonight?
529
00:29:07,496 --> 00:29:09,419
She was waiting until she turns 18.
You do the math.
530
00:29:10,540 --> 00:29:15,262
The only math I know is you've added
your penis to her vagina zero times.
531
00:29:20,926 --> 00:29:22,519
Jennifer's not a skank.
532
00:29:22,594 --> 00:29:23,595
Dude, yes, she is.
533
00:29:23,679 --> 00:29:24,771
I'm gonna throw up.
534
00:29:24,930 --> 00:29:27,274
Oh, my God. That's disgusting.
535
00:29:27,349 --> 00:29:28,475
What're you doing?
536
00:29:30,644 --> 00:29:32,362
Hurry up. Come on!
537
00:29:33,355 --> 00:29:34,607
Down it, man!
Just chug it! Chug it!
538
00:29:34,690 --> 00:29:36,692
Do it. Do it! Don't puss out.
539
00:29:36,858 --> 00:29:38,360
Don't puss out!
540
00:29:38,443 --> 00:29:39,444
Let's just go. Let's go.
541
00:29:39,528 --> 00:29:40,529
Go, go. Go, go, go, go. Go, go.
542
00:29:42,364 --> 00:29:43,707
You want another?
543
00:29:43,865 --> 00:29:44,866
For sure.
544
00:29:46,326 --> 00:29:49,626
Guys, I'm telling you, tonight is gonna
be the night she promised me a year ago.
545
00:29:56,503 --> 00:29:57,800
What the...
546
00:29:58,880 --> 00:30:00,223
Hey! Dipshit!
547
00:30:09,641 --> 00:30:10,733
No!
548
00:30:11,643 --> 00:30:13,236
No, no!
549
00:30:17,649 --> 00:30:19,572
Stifler! Are you crazy?
550
00:30:19,860 --> 00:30:23,160
Jesus, Stifler, what happened
to just stealing their beer?
551
00:30:23,322 --> 00:30:25,245
I know, this is so
much better, right?
552
00:30:25,407 --> 00:30:27,205
What?
553
00:30:27,409 --> 00:30:29,252
You destroyed their jet skis.
554
00:30:29,411 --> 00:30:31,413
They splashed us.
555
00:30:32,414 --> 00:30:33,415
So...
556
00:30:39,212 --> 00:30:40,680
Come on, guys.
That was pretty funny.
557
00:30:40,839 --> 00:30:43,683
Maybe in high school it was funny.
Now it's just a felony.
558
00:30:43,842 --> 00:30:45,014
Only if we get caught.
559
00:30:45,093 --> 00:30:47,846
Yeah, you gotta admit, it was nice
giving those kids a little payback.
560
00:30:48,013 --> 00:30:50,015
Maybe it was good that they will
learn to respect their elders.
561
00:30:50,182 --> 00:30:51,399
Exactly!
562
00:30:51,558 --> 00:30:54,232
Hey, give me a second, I gotta
find some toilet paper.
563
00:30:54,394 --> 00:30:55,611
That's gross.
564
00:30:56,521 --> 00:30:57,989
What's up, Class of '99-ers?
565
00:30:58,148 --> 00:31:00,116
Oh, my God! Vicky!
566
00:31:00,192 --> 00:31:01,193
Hi!
567
00:31:01,276 --> 00:31:02,277
Hey!
568
00:31:02,444 --> 00:31:03,616
I can't believe you're here.
569
00:31:03,695 --> 00:31:05,288
Yeah, I flew in from
New York last night.
570
00:31:05,447 --> 00:31:06,915
I've been hanging
outwith my parents.
571
00:31:07,074 --> 00:31:09,122
They were actually just
talking about you earlier.
572
00:31:09,284 --> 00:31:10,831
Really? About what?
573
00:31:10,994 --> 00:31:13,463
That time they caught us
making out at the Falls.
574
00:31:13,622 --> 00:31:15,044
Oh, right.
575
00:31:15,123 --> 00:31:18,093
The Falls. Wow, I haven't
been there in forever.
576
00:31:18,251 --> 00:31:20,299
Michelle used to love
going to the Falls.
577
00:31:20,462 --> 00:31:21,805
The place is romance incarnate.
578
00:31:22,214 --> 00:31:25,138
Hell, yeah.
I got my first rim job at the Falls.
579
00:31:25,300 --> 00:31:26,426
Okay.
580
00:31:28,303 --> 00:31:29,304
Hey, sweetie.
581
00:31:29,388 --> 00:31:30,389
Mmm, sweetie pie!
582
00:31:30,639 --> 00:31:31,686
Hello.
583
00:31:32,516 --> 00:31:36,566
So, the guys were all talking
about heading over to the Falls.
584
00:31:36,686 --> 00:31:39,781
Well, what about
Jim and Michelle time?
585
00:31:39,856 --> 00:31:42,154
I was thinking it could
be kind of romantic.
586
00:31:42,317 --> 00:31:45,867
Well, I'd love to, but your
dad has been with Ev all day.
587
00:31:45,946 --> 00:31:47,698
Yeah, no, you're right.
588
00:31:47,864 --> 00:31:49,866
Okay. Yeah, we'll
just, we'll go home.
589
00:31:50,033 --> 00:31:53,082
Oh, no, no.
You go and have fun.
590
00:31:53,161 --> 00:31:54,253
Really? Yeah.
591
00:31:54,329 --> 00:31:57,924
Just, when you get home,
you just better be ready.
592
00:31:58,083 --> 00:31:59,630
You better be ready.
593
00:31:59,793 --> 00:32:01,340
I'm ready.
594
00:32:07,092 --> 00:32:10,642
Um, Stifler, do you know
where you're going?
595
00:32:10,804 --> 00:32:13,273
I know this place
like the back of my cock.
596
00:32:24,025 --> 00:32:26,244
It looks like
a high school party.
597
00:32:28,155 --> 00:32:29,532
With high school chicks.
598
00:32:31,533 --> 00:32:32,830
It's on.
599
00:32:32,993 --> 00:32:35,542
Watch it, Stifler. You know these
girls are, like, half your age.
600
00:32:35,704 --> 00:32:36,796
I know.
601
00:32:41,918 --> 00:32:46,549
Okay, is it just me, or do girls
today seem a bit sluttier?
602
00:32:46,715 --> 00:32:47,762
Definitely.
603
00:32:47,841 --> 00:32:50,890
Teen sex, rainbow parties,
sexting nude photos...
604
00:32:51,052 --> 00:32:53,430
I saw it all on
Kathie Lee & Hoda.
605
00:32:53,597 --> 00:32:55,645
Happy birthday!
606
00:33:02,564 --> 00:33:03,656
Jim?
607
00:33:04,065 --> 00:33:05,783
Kara. You came!
608
00:33:05,984 --> 00:33:07,361
Hey!
609
00:33:08,445 --> 00:33:09,492
Sorry.
610
00:33:10,822 --> 00:33:11,914
Happy birthday.
611
00:33:13,366 --> 00:33:15,460
Oh, my God,
is this the babysitter?
612
00:33:15,535 --> 00:33:16,502
Mmm-hmm.
613
00:33:16,578 --> 00:33:19,081
You make it sound like I'm a superhero.
614
00:33:19,247 --> 00:33:21,966
Faster than a speeding stroller,
more powerful than a mini-van.
615
00:33:23,460 --> 00:33:24,552
I told you he was funny.
616
00:33:24,711 --> 00:33:25,837
He's adorable.
617
00:33:28,173 --> 00:33:30,096
Hey, Jim. Do you wanna
introduce me to your friends?
618
00:33:30,258 --> 00:33:31,259
No.
619
00:33:33,595 --> 00:33:35,017
Girls, this is Stifler.
620
00:33:36,097 --> 00:33:37,940
So, how do you know
my best friend Jim?
621
00:33:38,099 --> 00:33:39,817
Jim used to be my babysitter.
622
00:33:41,645 --> 00:33:43,693
Hey, I was just
gonna do a birthday shot.
623
00:33:43,772 --> 00:33:45,115
Do you guys
wanna do one with me?
624
00:33:45,190 --> 00:33:46,316
Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
625
00:33:46,399 --> 00:33:47,400
Yeah. Oh, ye& yes, yes.
626
00:33:47,526 --> 00:33:49,369
I shouldn't.
Yes, we should, yes, we should.
627
00:33:49,819 --> 00:33:53,824
Never have I ever
had sex in public.
628
00:33:58,870 --> 00:34:00,998
Really? None of you?
629
00:34:01,164 --> 00:34:03,792
Oh, come on, Heather.
You haven't drank once.
630
00:34:03,959 --> 00:34:05,506
You are such a prude!
631
00:34:05,669 --> 00:34:09,424
Or maybe I've just
never had sex in public.
632
00:34:10,257 --> 00:34:15,764
Okay, never have I
ever been in an orgy.
633
00:34:21,351 --> 00:34:23,274
They were really nice guys.
634
00:34:24,604 --> 00:34:27,153
Believe it or not, this is
my first high school party.
635
00:34:27,315 --> 00:34:28,783
You didn't miss much.
636
00:34:28,942 --> 00:34:33,493
I always preferred staying at
home, throwing on a little NPR.
637
00:34:33,655 --> 00:34:35,498
You were so much
cooler than me.
638
00:34:35,824 --> 00:34:39,579
I sat around writing
X-Files fan fiction.
639
00:34:42,122 --> 00:34:47,344
I translated The Brothers
Karamazov into Latin for fun.
640
00:34:48,420 --> 00:34:51,173
That is so sexy.
641
00:34:52,257 --> 00:34:53,679
You know it is.
642
00:34:53,925 --> 00:34:55,518
I've only been
working as an architect
643
00:34:55,594 --> 00:34:58,017
for the last few years,
and from home.
644
00:34:58,179 --> 00:35:00,056
You've been with the same
company for over ten years.
645
00:35:00,223 --> 00:35:02,476
That's awesome, it sounds like
everything is working out for you.
646
00:35:03,518 --> 00:35:05,941
Yeah. I mean, everything's
good, especially work-wise.
647
00:35:06,021 --> 00:35:07,523
But now that we're
back here in the town,
648
00:35:07,647 --> 00:35:09,149
and we see, like,
all of our old friends,
649
00:35:09,316 --> 00:35:11,865
and everyone's married
and having kids,
650
00:35:12,027 --> 00:35:14,951
it just makes me,
you know, think.
651
00:35:17,365 --> 00:35:18,537
You okay there, Kev?
652
00:35:18,908 --> 00:35:22,208
Yeah, I just don't
normally drink like this.
653
00:35:22,370 --> 00:35:24,418
You're telling me you haven't
gotten a little bit tipsy
654
00:35:24,497 --> 00:35:25,919
on Myers Family Wine Night?
655
00:35:26,082 --> 00:35:29,131
I see somebody's been
stalking my Facebook page.
656
00:35:29,294 --> 00:35:31,672
At least I don't take
pictures of my meals.
657
00:35:31,838 --> 00:35:33,306
Who's stalking who now?
658
00:35:33,465 --> 00:35:36,810
Okay, so I've been by your
page maybe once or twice.
659
00:35:36,968 --> 00:35:40,222
You were dating someone
named Alessandro?
660
00:35:40,805 --> 00:35:44,059
You know, he does know that he can take
a picture with his shirt on, right?
661
00:35:44,225 --> 00:35:47,320
Alessandro is long gone.
662
00:35:49,397 --> 00:35:50,990
It's over, huh?
663
00:35:55,236 --> 00:35:57,238
Okay, after this drink,
I have to go home.
664
00:35:57,405 --> 00:35:58,372
Jim.
665
00:35:58,448 --> 00:36:02,294
There's a smoking hot 18-year-old girl
over there that you used to babysit.
666
00:36:02,452 --> 00:36:04,420
And you're not going to
do anything about that?
667
00:36:04,579 --> 00:36:06,673
Need I remind you that
I am married to Michelle?
668
00:36:06,748 --> 00:36:07,749
Exactly.
669
00:36:08,249 --> 00:36:13,631
Dude, these young chicks, they know
some crazy shit in the bedroom.
670
00:36:14,464 --> 00:36:17,013
You could take what
you learn from Kara,
671
00:36:17,175 --> 00:36:19,769
bring it home,
and apply it to Michelle.
672
00:36:20,595 --> 00:36:23,098
You do care about your
marriage, don't you, Jim?
673
00:36:23,264 --> 00:36:24,766
What are you talking
about, Stifler?
674
00:36:24,849 --> 00:36:27,022
I'm not gonna cheat on my wife!
675
00:36:27,185 --> 00:36:29,187
I'm a father
for Christ's sakes.
676
00:36:29,354 --> 00:36:31,356
Yeah, that's perfect.
677
00:36:31,523 --> 00:36:34,151
Yeah, chicks love a father figure.
Keep playing that card, dude.
678
00:36:34,317 --> 00:36:36,490
It's not a card,
it's the truth.
679
00:36:36,653 --> 00:36:38,030
Hey. Hi.
680
00:36:38,113 --> 00:36:39,456
What are you guys
talking about?
681
00:36:39,531 --> 00:36:41,784
Oh, you know... Just..
682
00:36:41,950 --> 00:36:45,375
Jim was just saying how much
fun he had taking care of you.
683
00:36:45,537 --> 00:36:48,165
Hey, ladies, why don't we give
them some time to catch up?
684
00:36:48,248 --> 00:36:49,420
Mmm-hmm. Yeah, after you.
685
00:36:49,499 --> 00:36:51,797
No, that's not necessary.
We should all hang out together.
686
00:36:51,960 --> 00:36:53,553
Why don't we all...
Stifler, just...
687
00:36:53,628 --> 00:36:55,050
Be her daddy.
688
00:36:56,339 --> 00:36:58,137
Stifler? Stifler!
689
00:37:00,135 --> 00:37:05,141
So, sounds like you and Mia have
quite an adventurous lifestyle.
690
00:37:05,473 --> 00:37:07,726
Sometimes a little
too adventurous.
691
00:37:07,892 --> 00:37:12,398
Wow. Well, Heather's a bit
more on the conservative side.
692
00:37:12,480 --> 00:37:13,481
But, uh...
693
00:37:13,565 --> 00:37:14,987
Hey! Hi.
694
00:37:16,192 --> 00:37:20,663
But, I gotta be honest, Chris, I
could use a little adventure myself.
695
00:37:21,156 --> 00:37:22,703
What are you getting at, Ron?
696
00:37:22,866 --> 00:37:27,588
I'm just saying that usually
I'm not one for swapping,
697
00:37:27,746 --> 00:37:33,003
but the fact that you've been with
Heather already, kind of makes it okay.
698
00:37:33,835 --> 00:37:36,588
So, what do you think?
699
00:37:37,922 --> 00:37:38,923
Think they'd be into it?
700
00:37:41,176 --> 00:37:42,723
I'm kidding.
Come on, I'm kidding!
701
00:37:44,345 --> 00:37:46,188
Seriously,
I would never do that!
702
00:37:47,515 --> 00:37:48,937
Unless you guys wanted to.
703
00:37:50,101 --> 00:37:52,854
So you've really been to every
country in South America?
704
00:37:53,021 --> 00:37:54,944
No, no, not all of them.
705
00:37:55,106 --> 00:37:58,201
And I don't consider
French Guiana a nation.
706
00:38:00,403 --> 00:38:03,202
I remember, I couldn't
wait till graduation
707
00:38:03,364 --> 00:38:06,288
so I could leave this town
and reinvent myself.
708
00:38:06,576 --> 00:38:09,170
You have certainly
reinvented yourself.
709
00:38:09,245 --> 00:38:10,337
I don't know.
710
00:38:10,413 --> 00:38:12,632
There's just a part of me
that still wishes that
711
00:38:12,707 --> 00:38:15,130
I could just explore
the world, you know?
712
00:38:15,293 --> 00:38:17,136
Be everything I set out to be.
713
00:38:17,587 --> 00:38:21,308
You can be whoever you wanna be.
You just gotta be it.
714
00:38:24,052 --> 00:38:25,304
You wanna make out? Yeah.
715
00:38:29,390 --> 00:38:32,985
Are you crazy?
I love the Twilight books.
716
00:38:33,144 --> 00:38:34,896
New Moon is my favorite.
717
00:38:35,063 --> 00:38:36,064
Mine, too!
718
00:38:36,147 --> 00:38:38,775
Oh, my God!
We have, like, so much in common!
719
00:38:38,942 --> 00:38:40,159
I know! I know!
720
00:38:42,403 --> 00:38:43,575
Wanna hit this?
721
00:38:43,738 --> 00:38:45,411
In more ways than one.
722
00:38:54,290 --> 00:38:57,464
I don't know who this is, but
I'm pretty fucking busy right now.
723
00:38:57,627 --> 00:38:58,844
So sorry to interrupt, Stafler.
724
00:38:59,003 --> 00:39:01,131
Didn't realize the Special
Olympics competed at night.
725
00:39:01,297 --> 00:39:02,298
Oh, fuck.
726
00:39:04,384 --> 00:39:05,351
What the hell's
going on over there?
727
00:39:05,426 --> 00:39:06,848
What, are you choking
on your own dick?
728
00:39:07,804 --> 00:39:10,853
Nothing, Mr. Duraiswamy,
nothing.
729
00:39:11,307 --> 00:39:12,684
What can I do for you, sir?
730
00:39:12,851 --> 00:39:14,694
Bob from Acquisitions
had a heart attack.
731
00:39:14,769 --> 00:39:16,521
Some idiot told him
that he was fired.
732
00:39:16,688 --> 00:39:17,905
He flipped out, I don't know.
733
00:39:18,064 --> 00:39:20,408
Listen, I need someone
to finish his presentation.
734
00:39:20,567 --> 00:39:23,320
I need you to go in on Sunday
and get everything ready. Yes?
735
00:39:23,486 --> 00:39:25,784
Oh, wait, Sunday.
736
00:39:25,947 --> 00:39:27,870
I got my high school reunion.
737
00:39:28,032 --> 00:39:29,158
Oh, wow, how fun!
738
00:39:29,242 --> 00:39:30,664
Yeah, no, I'll just
call the chairman,
739
00:39:30,743 --> 00:39:31,835
and I'll get him to reschedule.
740
00:39:31,995 --> 00:39:34,248
Seriously?
Hey, that would be awesome!
741
00:39:34,414 --> 00:39:37,793
That was a fucking joke, you moron.
Jesus Christ, what am I doing?
742
00:39:38,459 --> 00:39:40,757
You know what, I am gonna
handle this myself.
743
00:39:40,837 --> 00:39:43,716
No. No, no, no,
listen, Mr. Duraiswamy,
744
00:39:43,882 --> 00:39:46,601
I can do it, okay?
I promise, I'll get it done.
745
00:39:46,801 --> 00:39:48,303
Just don't fuck up, Stafler.
746
00:39:48,386 --> 00:39:50,935
It's Stifler.
747
00:39:51,097 --> 00:39:53,065
Dick! Hey, ladies...
748
00:39:53,474 --> 00:39:55,602
Ladies? They bailed, dude.
749
00:39:55,768 --> 00:39:57,486
Aw, fuck!
750
00:39:59,647 --> 00:40:00,648
Ugh! Um...
751
00:40:01,232 --> 00:40:02,484
Ooh!
752
00:40:02,567 --> 00:40:05,992
Hey, Kara, how are you
getting home tonight?
753
00:40:06,738 --> 00:40:08,832
AJ was supposed to
drive my car back,
754
00:40:08,990 --> 00:40:10,333
but he hasn't
even shown up yet.
755
00:40:10,491 --> 00:40:12,835
Some lame excuse
about his jet skis.
756
00:40:12,994 --> 00:40:14,667
Can you believe that jerk?
757
00:40:16,831 --> 00:40:18,333
What about you?
758
00:40:18,499 --> 00:40:19,671
Will you take me?
759
00:40:19,834 --> 00:40:22,053
Uh... Um...
760
00:40:22,670 --> 00:40:25,674
Come on! We're going
to the same place.
761
00:40:25,840 --> 00:40:27,763
Besides, it wouldn't
be responsible
762
00:40:27,842 --> 00:40:30,186
to let me drive
in this condition.
763
00:40:30,553 --> 00:40:31,600
Right?
764
00:40:38,895 --> 00:40:40,238
Okay, Kara.
765
00:40:40,855 --> 00:40:44,234
Hey! Whoa! Careful!
Careful. Yeah.
766
00:40:44,359 --> 00:40:46,077
Oh, my God, I love this song.
767
00:40:46,235 --> 00:40:47,282
It's a good one.
768
00:40:47,362 --> 00:40:48,909
Isn't classic rock the best?
769
00:40:49,072 --> 00:40:52,372
Classic rock?
This is classic rock now?
770
00:40:54,202 --> 00:40:56,421
Hey, you know, Kara, you
should drink some more water.
771
00:40:56,496 --> 00:40:58,043
Where's that bottle I gave you?
772
00:40:58,206 --> 00:41:00,129
Oh, it's right here. Okay.
773
00:41:00,291 --> 00:41:02,385
In the back.
774
00:41:07,715 --> 00:41:11,390
- Shit. Sorry. Sorry.
- There was a...
775
00:41:11,469 --> 00:41:15,474
There was a little baby
squirrel in the road, so...
776
00:41:15,640 --> 00:41:20,111
Whoa! Hey! Whoa!
That's not water. Okay.
777
00:41:20,269 --> 00:41:23,614
It's a little too much now.
778
00:41:23,773 --> 00:41:27,573
I love how, after all these years,
you're still taking care of me.
779
00:41:27,735 --> 00:41:30,705
Well, you know, a
babysitter's job never ends.
780
00:41:30,780 --> 00:41:34,000
You knew I always
had a crush on you, right?
781
00:41:35,910 --> 00:41:37,253
No.
782
00:41:38,287 --> 00:41:40,540
I want you to be my first.
783
00:41:42,166 --> 00:41:44,260
Your first?
784
00:41:44,419 --> 00:41:46,421
Oh, God. Okay. Um...
785
00:41:46,587 --> 00:41:48,635
Kara, listen. Um...
786
00:41:49,674 --> 00:41:54,145
A person's virginity is
something sacred, you know?
787
00:41:54,303 --> 00:41:55,805
You should save yourself
for someone special.
788
00:41:55,888 --> 00:41:56,935
You're special.
789
00:41:57,015 --> 00:42:00,485
No! Not special.
790
00:42:00,643 --> 00:42:02,771
You think? I really...
791
00:42:03,146 --> 00:42:04,773
What are you doing?
792
00:42:04,939 --> 00:42:06,031
Hey, what are you doing?
793
00:42:06,190 --> 00:42:08,693
Come on. No one
will ever find out.
794
00:42:10,194 --> 00:42:12,117
I don't know. I don't think...
795
00:42:29,280 --> 00:42:30,657
You don't think I'm pretty?
796
00:42:30,740 --> 00:42:35,541
Huh? Oh, no! You're very pretty, Kara.
You're very, very...
797
00:42:35,619 --> 00:42:37,371
Really? Yes, very pretty.
798
00:42:37,455 --> 00:42:38,877
But I... Very pretty. Thanks.
799
00:42:39,040 --> 00:42:40,462
Oh, my God!
800
00:42:40,624 --> 00:42:43,878
Holy shit! What?
801
00:42:45,212 --> 00:42:46,213
Oh, my... Where did your...
802
00:42:46,297 --> 00:42:47,298
Come on.
803
00:42:47,465 --> 00:42:49,809
I can't think of
a better birthday gift.
804
00:42:49,967 --> 00:42:51,514
What about the new iPhone?
805
00:42:51,594 --> 00:42:53,562
Huh? Maybe a little pendant?
The new Nicki Minaj album?
806
00:42:53,637 --> 00:42:55,731
No. No? Boobies.
807
00:42:55,848 --> 00:42:57,145
I want you! Whoa, whoa, whoa!
808
00:42:57,224 --> 00:42:58,476
You can't... Don't do that.
809
00:42:58,559 --> 00:43:00,061
That's not good, don't...
810
00:43:00,144 --> 00:43:01,646
Come on, stop
811
00:43:01,812 --> 00:43:03,689
Kara! Kara! Stop it.
812
00:43:04,315 --> 00:43:05,441
Shit!
813
00:43:07,485 --> 00:43:08,828
Whoa!
814
00:43:09,820 --> 00:43:10,992
Shit. Kara?
815
00:43:11,655 --> 00:43:13,157
Holy Jesus! Kara?
816
00:43:13,324 --> 00:43:15,702
Kara! Kara!
Please wake up, Kara!
817
00:43:15,868 --> 00:43:17,541
Kara, wake up. Kara!
818
00:43:17,703 --> 00:43:18,704
Are you okay?
819
00:43:18,829 --> 00:43:19,921
Oh, Jesus, God!
820
00:43:19,997 --> 00:43:21,419
Oh, my God, are you all right?
821
00:43:22,041 --> 00:43:23,668
Hey, hi.
822
00:43:24,752 --> 00:43:26,846
Jim? Hey!
823
00:43:27,004 --> 00:43:29,553
What? This is crazy!
824
00:43:29,757 --> 00:43:31,134
Are you all right?
825
00:43:31,217 --> 00:43:34,687
Huh? Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah
I'm okay. I was just... Um...
826
00:43:34,845 --> 00:43:37,223
I was reaching for something.
827
00:43:37,389 --> 00:43:39,562
Everything's okay.
Everything's fine.
828
00:43:40,101 --> 00:43:41,444
I don't know if you've heard.
Mmm?
829
00:43:41,519 --> 00:43:42,520
Did you hear?
830
00:43:43,187 --> 00:43:45,781
I am in charge of the reunion.
831
00:43:45,940 --> 00:43:48,739
Oh! Yeah, no, that's...
Yeah, that's right.
832
00:43:48,901 --> 00:43:50,369
Got a whole '90s theme planned.
833
00:43:50,528 --> 00:43:52,280
Oh. That's...
834
00:43:52,446 --> 00:43:54,244
I booked Chumbawamba.
835
00:43:54,323 --> 00:43:56,371
Yeah. But the pricks
cancelled yesterday.
836
00:43:56,575 --> 00:43:59,374
Was a setback, but you know me,
837
00:43:59,578 --> 00:44:02,957
"I get knocked down but I
get up again."
838
00:44:05,918 --> 00:44:07,920
Oh, my God!
Okay, I see what's going on.
839
00:44:14,510 --> 00:44:15,682
Yep.
840
00:44:15,761 --> 00:44:16,887
I'll see you later, buddy.
841
00:44:17,054 --> 00:44:18,727
All right then, I'll see you.
842
00:44:21,225 --> 00:44:23,728
Jesus, God. Kara.
Kara, wake up.
843
00:44:23,894 --> 00:44:25,896
I just need a nap. What?
844
00:44:26,063 --> 00:44:28,157
Kara, this isn't time
for a nap. Kara, wake up.
845
00:44:28,315 --> 00:44:29,612
This isn't napping time.
846
00:44:30,067 --> 00:44:32,411
Kara? Shit.
847
00:44:37,491 --> 00:44:41,337
Oh, God, this is bad.
This is very, very bad.
848
00:44:52,798 --> 00:44:54,141
What took you guys so long?
849
00:44:54,300 --> 00:44:56,348
We were looking for Kevin.
Couldn't find him.
850
00:44:56,510 --> 00:44:59,980
Plus, that hot piece of ass Oz is banging
got wasted, so we had to drop her off.
851
00:45:00,139 --> 00:45:01,140
You brought him?
852
00:45:01,223 --> 00:45:02,395
Of course they brought me.
853
00:45:02,516 --> 00:45:04,063
When you guys were busy
jacking off in high school,
854
00:45:04,143 --> 00:45:06,111
I was running this
drill every weekend.
855
00:45:06,270 --> 00:45:08,193
Now, let's see what
we are dealing with.
856
00:45:10,774 --> 00:45:11,775
Oh!
857
00:45:12,109 --> 00:45:14,111
Holy shit!
858
00:45:14,278 --> 00:45:15,245
Way to go, Jim.
859
00:45:15,321 --> 00:45:18,495
Shh. Okay, nothing happened, Stifler. Okay?
Nothing happened.
860
00:45:18,657 --> 00:45:19,658
Stop that!
861
00:45:19,867 --> 00:45:20,914
I'm sorry.
862
00:45:20,993 --> 00:45:22,415
So, Jim, what do you wanna do?
863
00:45:22,494 --> 00:45:23,746
I don't know.
864
00:45:23,829 --> 00:45:25,627
I can't just leave her
here naked, you know?
865
00:45:25,789 --> 00:45:28,463
I mean, if the cops come by
and find out I'm involved,
866
00:45:29,293 --> 00:45:30,465
I'm screwed.
867
00:45:30,628 --> 00:45:32,505
That leaves us
with two options.
868
00:45:33,464 --> 00:45:35,137
We dump the body or
we sneak her inside.
869
00:45:35,299 --> 00:45:37,301
Dump the body?
This isn't a mob hit.
870
00:45:37,468 --> 00:45:38,685
Okay, wait a second.
871
00:45:38,844 --> 00:45:42,189
I have been in her house
a million times to babysit.
872
00:45:42,348 --> 00:45:45,397
I can totally sneak her in
through the back door.
873
00:45:45,559 --> 00:45:48,153
I need you guys to
distract her parents.
874
00:45:48,312 --> 00:45:50,030
Do you think you can do that?
875
00:45:50,397 --> 00:45:54,493
I'm an expert, Jim.
Trust me. I got this shit.
876
00:46:01,992 --> 00:46:03,539
Good evening, sir.
877
00:46:03,702 --> 00:46:05,545
My friend's car broke down,
878
00:46:05,704 --> 00:46:09,174
and we were just wondering if we
could use your phone to call AAA.
879
00:46:10,000 --> 00:46:13,379
You mean to tell me that none
of you have cell phones?
880
00:46:21,220 --> 00:46:24,394
Oh, my God, I know you.
You were on Celebrity Dance Off.
881
00:46:24,556 --> 00:46:26,479
Oh, yeah!
882
00:46:26,558 --> 00:46:27,684
Ostreicher.
883
00:46:27,851 --> 00:46:29,068
Oh, yeah.
884
00:46:29,228 --> 00:46:30,354
Hey, come on in.
885
00:46:32,189 --> 00:46:33,782
That was very smooth, Stifler.
886
00:46:33,941 --> 00:46:35,193
Shut up, shitbreak.
887
00:46:35,359 --> 00:46:37,532
The last time I did this,
cell phones didn't exist.
888
00:46:53,085 --> 00:46:54,211
Shit!
889
00:47:00,217 --> 00:47:01,434
Daddy.
890
00:47:03,095 --> 00:47:04,142
Look, Mom, Daddy!
891
00:47:04,221 --> 00:47:05,222
Shit!
892
00:47:19,987 --> 00:47:21,739
Oh, fuck!
893
00:47:22,823 --> 00:47:24,416
Kara?
894
00:47:25,576 --> 00:47:26,577
Kara?
895
00:47:28,537 --> 00:47:29,584
Kara?
896
00:47:29,747 --> 00:47:31,966
Gonna have to find me.
897
00:47:32,041 --> 00:47:33,213
Kara?
898
00:47:34,376 --> 00:47:36,378
Thank you, Sheranda.
You've been very helpful.
899
00:47:36,462 --> 00:47:38,885
You get a Triple
A-plus in my book.
900
00:47:39,048 --> 00:47:42,097
Oh, you take care, too.
Okay, yeah, bye-bye.
901
00:47:43,093 --> 00:47:47,473
So, that was AAA on the phone and
they should be here in a jiffy.
902
00:47:48,390 --> 00:47:50,108
Does this song sound familiar?
903
00:47:55,397 --> 00:47:58,071
You were such a good dancer.
I felt so bad when you got voted off.
904
00:47:58,275 --> 00:47:59,322
Thank you.
905
00:47:59,485 --> 00:48:01,487
But I have to say you're
much sexier in person.
906
00:48:01,695 --> 00:48:05,666
Okay. Calm down there, Susan.
907
00:48:06,450 --> 00:48:09,078
Dude, she wants to fuck
you big time, dude.
908
00:48:09,244 --> 00:48:11,417
You got to hit that.
No fucking way.
909
00:48:11,580 --> 00:48:12,832
Do it for Jim, dude,
don't be selfish.
910
00:48:13,290 --> 00:48:16,134
Hey, you know what?
I think I have to go to the bathroom.
911
00:48:17,002 --> 00:48:19,096
Kara, this is not funny.
912
00:48:19,296 --> 00:48:21,970
Kara, come on! Kara, come out.
913
00:48:22,132 --> 00:48:23,349
Boo!
914
00:48:23,509 --> 00:48:24,806
Oh, my God!
915
00:48:29,637 --> 00:48:31,435
Come on. Okay, good.
916
00:48:31,597 --> 00:48:33,270
You never could find me.
917
00:48:33,432 --> 00:48:36,151
Jim, I don't mean to alarm you
but you don't have much time.
918
00:48:36,310 --> 00:48:37,311
Yes, I know.
919
00:48:37,478 --> 00:48:38,821
I like your scarf. Okay.
920
00:48:38,979 --> 00:48:40,652
I like your breasts Door.
921
00:48:40,815 --> 00:48:42,283
Would it be okay
if I get a picture?
922
00:48:42,441 --> 00:48:43,442
Sure.
923
00:48:47,947 --> 00:48:49,540
I know it's in here somewhere.
924
00:48:53,661 --> 00:48:55,629
Okay, a bottle of hair spray...
925
00:48:55,704 --> 00:48:56,751
You guys all right?
926
00:48:56,831 --> 00:48:58,174
Yeah. Yeah.
927
00:48:58,958 --> 00:49:00,005
You know something?
928
00:49:00,209 --> 00:49:05,010
I really was admiring how clean
your toilet was in your bathroom.
929
00:49:05,548 --> 00:49:06,674
Thanks.
930
00:49:07,341 --> 00:49:09,514
You know what?
I have to use the restroom, too.
931
00:49:09,677 --> 00:49:10,803
No, you don't.
932
00:49:18,394 --> 00:49:19,520
Let's get in bed.
933
00:49:19,687 --> 00:49:20,734
Come on and get in bed with me?
934
00:49:20,813 --> 00:49:21,939
No, I'm not getting in bed...
935
00:49:22,022 --> 00:49:23,069
Come on. Get in bed with me.
936
00:49:23,190 --> 00:49:25,443
No, I'm not... Kara, please.
Oh, God. Please.
937
00:49:25,526 --> 00:49:26,527
Oh, shit!
938
00:49:27,695 --> 00:49:28,992
Stifler, what are
you doing here?
939
00:49:29,155 --> 00:49:30,998
I just wanted another glimpse.
No.
940
00:49:31,157 --> 00:49:32,579
Why'd you put her clothes
back on, dude? Boo.
941
00:49:32,658 --> 00:49:33,875
You have to go.
942
00:49:35,536 --> 00:49:36,753
What was that?
943
00:49:36,871 --> 00:49:39,090
That sounded like
it came from outside.
944
00:49:39,248 --> 00:49:41,091
No, that came from Kara's room.
945
00:49:41,250 --> 00:49:42,342
Oh, Jesus.
946
00:49:42,418 --> 00:49:43,419
Kara?
947
00:49:45,463 --> 00:49:46,464
Oh, my God.
948
00:49:48,215 --> 00:49:49,432
Go, go, go!
949
00:49:56,724 --> 00:49:58,101
What the hell's
going on in here?
950
00:50:00,060 --> 00:50:01,357
Hi, Daddy.
951
00:50:02,104 --> 00:50:03,151
How'd you get back in?
952
00:50:04,231 --> 00:50:05,403
I don't remember.
953
00:50:05,566 --> 00:50:07,034
You don't remember?
954
00:50:07,902 --> 00:50:08,949
What was that sound?
955
00:50:09,028 --> 00:50:09,995
I don't know.
956
00:50:10,070 --> 00:50:11,162
What do you mean,
you don't know?
957
00:50:11,238 --> 00:50:12,239
I don't know.
958
00:50:14,241 --> 00:50:15,584
You've been drinking,
haven't you?
959
00:50:15,743 --> 00:50:16,869
No.
960
00:50:17,036 --> 00:50:19,835
Kara, I told you these boys
try to get you drunk
961
00:50:19,914 --> 00:50:21,541
so they can take
advantage of you.
962
00:50:21,624 --> 00:50:23,217
I'm old enough
to know that, Dad.
963
00:50:23,375 --> 00:50:24,968
Yeah, well, I don't
want to go to jail
964
00:50:25,044 --> 00:50:26,967
for kicking some
horny kid's teeth in
965
00:50:27,046 --> 00:50:28,798
but I will, believe me.
966
00:50:32,468 --> 00:50:33,594
What is that?
967
00:50:33,761 --> 00:50:37,061
Oh, that's Mr. Moo!
968
00:50:37,806 --> 00:50:40,605
Will you get him for me,
Daddy? Please.
969
00:50:57,826 --> 00:50:59,954
I can't be mad at my angel.
970
00:51:05,960 --> 00:51:08,133
Happy birthday, princess.
971
00:51:08,337 --> 00:51:09,429
Thanks, Dad.
972
00:51:18,931 --> 00:51:20,023
What are you doing?
973
00:51:20,808 --> 00:51:22,151
Nothing.
974
00:51:25,729 --> 00:51:27,026
Oh, jeez.
975
00:51:29,275 --> 00:51:30,322
Stifler?
976
00:51:31,485 --> 00:51:32,577
Stifler?
977
00:51:32,653 --> 00:51:33,700
Up here, dude.
978
00:51:35,155 --> 00:51:36,498
I told you I was an expert.
979
00:51:37,658 --> 00:51:38,875
Oh, shit.
980
00:51:39,535 --> 00:51:41,162
What the hell is going on now?
981
00:51:44,081 --> 00:51:45,253
Hey.
982
00:51:45,332 --> 00:51:47,209
Want to go to
a Justin Bieber concert?
983
00:51:47,293 --> 00:51:48,715
Uh... Jim?
984
00:51:49,003 --> 00:51:50,380
Stifler, come on. Come on!
985
00:51:50,546 --> 00:51:51,843
Let's go.
986
00:51:52,965 --> 00:51:55,718
You and you, stay here.
987
00:51:56,218 --> 00:51:57,435
Don't push me.
988
00:51:58,721 --> 00:52:00,189
Whoa! Oh, my God.
989
00:52:03,183 --> 00:52:04,230
Ah!
990
00:52:04,310 --> 00:52:05,653
Kara, where the hell are you?
991
00:52:05,728 --> 00:52:07,526
I'm on my way to
your place and...
992
00:52:10,858 --> 00:52:12,235
What the...
993
00:52:12,318 --> 00:52:13,365
Fuck!
994
00:52:18,699 --> 00:52:20,497
What the hell is going on?
995
00:52:21,410 --> 00:52:23,037
Oh, God!
996
00:52:35,174 --> 00:52:37,552
Hey, stud.
997
00:52:37,718 --> 00:52:39,561
I thought you'd never...
998
00:53:00,658 --> 00:53:04,834
Oh, shit, shit.
We were supposed to...
999
00:53:04,953 --> 00:53:06,000
No, it's fine.
1000
00:53:06,080 --> 00:53:08,082
What? No, God, it's not fine.
1001
00:53:09,124 --> 00:53:12,128
Shoot! I'm so sorry, Michelle.
I really... I wanted to, I just...
1002
00:53:12,294 --> 00:53:14,342
I'm going to drop
Ev at my grandma's
1003
00:53:14,421 --> 00:53:16,423
and I'll be back
this afternoon.
1004
00:53:16,590 --> 00:53:18,558
No, Michelle, hold on.
1005
00:53:22,429 --> 00:53:23,897
Jim, I'm worried.
1006
00:53:24,973 --> 00:53:26,566
What are you worried about?
1007
00:53:26,725 --> 00:53:30,571
Just we're like so out of sync.
1008
00:53:32,648 --> 00:53:34,275
I just...
1009
00:53:34,441 --> 00:53:36,944
I don't know how much longer
we can go on like this.
1010
00:53:39,446 --> 00:53:43,667
I promise you I will do everything
I can to make it up to you.
1011
00:53:43,992 --> 00:53:45,289
Okay?
1012
00:53:45,452 --> 00:53:47,079
Stifler's having
a party tonight.
1013
00:53:48,247 --> 00:53:52,718
Okay, I know that doesn't
sound romantic or anything,
1014
00:53:52,793 --> 00:53:58,300
but remember our first time
was at a Stifler party.
1015
00:53:58,465 --> 00:54:00,012
You made me your bitch.
1016
00:54:02,636 --> 00:54:05,014
Yes. Yes, I did.
1017
00:54:24,533 --> 00:54:26,035
Tell me when, okay?
1018
00:54:26,368 --> 00:54:27,620
What the fuck?
1019
00:54:37,004 --> 00:54:38,347
Mmm.
1020
00:54:55,189 --> 00:54:57,487
So, Mia.
1021
00:54:58,484 --> 00:55:01,533
She's a free spirit.
1022
00:55:01,695 --> 00:55:03,197
She's something else.
1023
00:55:03,363 --> 00:55:04,865
Yeah, she is.
1024
00:55:06,909 --> 00:55:09,708
Wait a minute, do I sense
a little jealousy there?
1025
00:55:09,870 --> 00:55:11,372
No. Mmm-mmm. No?
1026
00:55:11,538 --> 00:55:13,791
Hey, don't forget, you were
the one who broke up with me
1027
00:55:13,874 --> 00:55:15,171
before you went to med school.
1028
00:55:15,250 --> 00:55:19,426
Hey, you were moving to LA
with no return in sight.
1029
00:55:19,588 --> 00:55:22,057
You can't blame me for
wanting to settle down.
1030
00:55:22,382 --> 00:55:24,555
No, I don't.
1031
00:55:25,385 --> 00:55:28,138
I just don't
want you to settle.
1032
00:55:28,764 --> 00:55:30,937
Look who's jealous now.
1033
00:55:31,099 --> 00:55:33,898
I wouldn't call being
with Ron "settling."
1034
00:55:34,061 --> 00:55:36,564
Oh, no, he's gorgeous on paper.
1035
00:55:36,939 --> 00:55:38,361
What is that supposed to mean?
1036
00:55:38,732 --> 00:55:40,450
Nothing. Um...
1037
00:55:41,610 --> 00:55:44,705
I'm sorry. You're right.
1038
00:55:46,406 --> 00:55:48,079
I am a bit jealous.
1039
00:55:49,910 --> 00:55:51,253
You know, it's funny.
1040
00:55:52,204 --> 00:55:55,754
In some ways, you've
completely changed,
1041
00:55:55,916 --> 00:55:58,886
and, in other ways,
you're exactly the same.
1042
00:55:59,044 --> 00:56:01,092
Heather, you can believe this,
1043
00:56:01,255 --> 00:56:02,757
nothing's changed.
1044
00:56:05,217 --> 00:56:06,264
Oh, my God.
1045
00:56:06,426 --> 00:56:08,053
Chris Ostreicher?
1046
00:56:08,595 --> 00:56:09,767
Hi, girls.
1047
00:56:09,847 --> 00:56:10,973
Can I get a pic?
1048
00:56:11,139 --> 00:56:12,231
Sure.
1049
00:56:17,896 --> 00:56:18,943
Dad?
1050
00:56:20,649 --> 00:56:21,946
Oh, hey, Dad. Hey, Jim.
1051
00:56:22,109 --> 00:56:23,736
I'm just going to
run out for a sec.
1052
00:56:23,902 --> 00:56:26,746
I was just watching
your old Bar Mitzvah tape.
1053
00:56:28,615 --> 00:56:30,162
I got your Jew scarf!
1054
00:56:30,325 --> 00:56:31,952
Give it back, Stifler.
1055
00:56:34,746 --> 00:56:40,173
I think I'm the happiest man
in the world thanks to you.
1056
00:56:45,757 --> 00:56:47,680
Yeah, I miss her too, Dad.
1057
00:56:49,678 --> 00:56:50,850
I know.
1058
00:56:59,187 --> 00:57:03,158
Dad, you've always been
there to give me advice.
1059
00:57:03,483 --> 00:57:07,158
But if there's anything
that you want to talk about,
1060
00:57:08,488 --> 00:57:09,990
I'm here for you.
1061
00:57:11,533 --> 00:57:14,002
Yeah, I don't think
there's anything
1062
00:57:14,077 --> 00:57:16,500
I really need
to talk about, Jim.
1063
00:57:17,456 --> 00:57:20,505
Do you think maybe
it's time for you to
1064
00:57:20,959 --> 00:57:22,336
meet someone else?
1065
00:57:23,503 --> 00:57:25,551
Dad, it's okay.
1066
00:57:25,714 --> 00:57:29,844
What you're going through
is perfectly natural.
1067
00:57:30,761 --> 00:57:33,560
You know, there are
services out there...
1068
00:57:33,722 --> 00:57:34,769
Services? Yeah.
1069
00:57:34,848 --> 00:57:36,065
Like what?
1070
00:57:36,224 --> 00:57:38,022
A happy ending? What's that?
1071
00:57:38,185 --> 00:57:39,232
Because I won't go there.
1072
00:57:39,311 --> 00:57:40,312
Oh, my God.
1073
00:57:40,437 --> 00:57:42,439
I don't need that...
I don't need that kind of massage, Jim.
1074
00:57:42,522 --> 00:57:43,614
That's not what I was...
1075
00:57:43,690 --> 00:57:45,283
Because, you know what,
it's dangerous.
1076
00:57:45,359 --> 00:57:46,827
And you can pick things up.
1077
00:57:46,902 --> 00:57:48,779
You don't even wanna know
what you can pick up.
1078
00:57:48,946 --> 00:57:50,448
Talk to your uncle Mort.
I'd rather not.
1079
00:57:50,530 --> 00:57:51,747
He was in the hospital
for two weeks.
1080
00:57:51,823 --> 00:57:53,291
That's disgusting.
1081
00:57:56,536 --> 00:57:59,039
I was talking about
1082
00:57:59,748 --> 00:58:01,341
online dating services.
1083
00:58:03,043 --> 00:58:04,090
No, Jim.
1084
00:58:04,252 --> 00:58:07,301
Yeah, right, at my age?
I don't think so.
1085
00:58:07,464 --> 00:58:09,466
I've been out of
the game for so long.
1086
00:58:09,549 --> 00:58:11,051
There wasn't even
a game back then.
1087
00:58:11,134 --> 00:58:15,139
Dad, don't worry.
I'll hook you up.
1088
00:58:20,394 --> 00:58:21,691
Do you have those photos?
1089
00:58:22,062 --> 00:58:23,655
Here you go.
1090
00:58:23,981 --> 00:58:24,982
Wow.
1091
00:58:25,065 --> 00:58:26,237
Yeah. Oh.
1092
00:58:26,400 --> 00:58:27,652
We might need something
a little more recent.
1093
00:58:27,734 --> 00:58:28,735
Do you think?
1094
00:58:30,404 --> 00:58:33,499
Do you have something
that's a bit sexier?
1095
00:58:34,324 --> 00:58:35,541
Gotcha.
1096
00:58:39,621 --> 00:58:40,622
Did you...
1097
00:58:41,248 --> 00:58:42,465
Favorite music.
1098
00:58:42,749 --> 00:58:43,750
Um...
1099
00:58:44,001 --> 00:58:45,378
Herman's Hermits.
1100
00:58:45,752 --> 00:58:46,753
Okay.
1101
00:58:47,587 --> 00:58:48,554
Oh...
1102
00:58:48,630 --> 00:58:51,600
Girls, one at a time, please.
1103
00:58:51,925 --> 00:58:53,097
Interests and hobbies.
1104
00:58:53,260 --> 00:58:54,352
Sudoku.
1105
00:58:54,511 --> 00:58:55,603
We'll come back to this one.
1106
00:59:02,519 --> 00:59:04,521
Are we sure we're
not taking off too much?
1107
00:59:04,688 --> 00:59:07,407
These caterpillars are
kind of my trademark.
1108
00:59:09,276 --> 00:59:11,950
Okay... Perfect.
1109
00:59:12,112 --> 00:59:14,535
Take a look. I'm nervous.
1110
00:59:18,452 --> 00:59:21,456
Oh, that's fantastic!
1111
00:59:21,621 --> 00:59:24,625
That is a great look for me!
1112
00:59:24,875 --> 00:59:25,876
Huh?
1113
00:59:25,959 --> 00:59:29,589
Leaner lines.
I still have mobility.
1114
00:59:30,589 --> 00:59:32,557
Why didn't I do
this 30 years ago?
1115
00:59:32,632 --> 00:59:33,633
Looking good.
1116
00:59:33,800 --> 00:59:35,768
Why don't we test this
new look out tonight?
1117
00:59:36,094 --> 00:59:37,095
Oh, um...
1118
00:59:37,471 --> 00:59:40,850
The thing is, Stifler is
throwing a party tonight.
1119
00:59:41,141 --> 00:59:42,984
Oh! Well, another time.
1120
00:59:43,143 --> 00:59:45,362
But you could come with us.
1121
00:59:45,979 --> 00:59:47,276
It would be nice to
get out of the house.
1122
00:59:47,439 --> 00:59:48,986
I do have to warn you, though,
1123
00:59:49,149 --> 00:59:52,403
Stifler's parties
can get a little.
1124
00:59:52,569 --> 00:59:53,741
Wild.
1125
01:00:05,957 --> 01:00:09,336
What the fuck is this?
1126
01:00:10,170 --> 01:00:12,172
Who the hell changed the music?
1127
01:00:12,339 --> 01:00:14,637
Sorry, we thought this
was more baby-friendly.
1128
01:00:14,800 --> 01:00:17,599
Didn't we? Yes, we did.
1129
01:00:17,761 --> 01:00:19,479
Stifmeister!
1130
01:00:22,140 --> 01:00:23,266
Ch!
1131
01:00:23,350 --> 01:00:24,351
Bluck!
1132
01:00:24,768 --> 01:00:25,985
Chester!
1133
01:00:29,064 --> 01:00:30,782
What have you
cock-smokers been up to?
1134
01:00:30,941 --> 01:00:33,239
Well, we just got engaged.
Yeah.
1135
01:00:33,401 --> 01:00:35,904
What? That's so fucking gay.
1136
01:00:37,781 --> 01:00:40,034
Yeah, Stifler, we are gay.
1137
01:00:40,534 --> 01:00:41,956
Half the lacrosse team was gay.
1138
01:00:42,035 --> 01:00:44,163
You must have
known that, right?
1139
01:00:44,287 --> 01:00:46,836
Dude, you walked in on Doug
and Barry in the shower.
1140
01:00:48,166 --> 01:00:49,884
I just thought
they were wrestling.
1141
01:00:56,377 --> 01:00:57,378
Oh.
1142
01:01:01,715 --> 01:01:03,763
Are we sure this is Stifler's?
1143
01:01:04,385 --> 01:01:05,386
Ooh!
1144
01:01:05,469 --> 01:01:06,812
Hors d'oeuvres!
1145
01:01:06,929 --> 01:01:08,556
Why don't you give
this to our host, son?
1146
01:01:10,558 --> 01:01:11,559
Hmm.
1147
01:01:12,226 --> 01:01:14,570
Oh, my God! Look who it is.
1148
01:01:14,687 --> 01:01:15,779
Hey.
1149
01:01:17,898 --> 01:01:19,320
Sorry for interrupting
you guys last night.
1150
01:01:19,775 --> 01:01:21,652
Bravo, by the way.
1151
01:01:21,819 --> 01:01:24,572
Most wives stop doing that
after they get the ring.
1152
01:01:24,738 --> 01:01:26,581
What are you talking about?
Did you change your hair color?
1153
01:01:26,740 --> 01:01:32,088
So, is your buddy, the other
MILF guy, here tonight?
1154
01:01:32,246 --> 01:01:34,089
I thought you always come
to these things together.
1155
01:01:34,915 --> 01:01:38,920
Let's just say that friendship
is a two-way street.
1156
01:01:40,462 --> 01:01:41,964
Excuse me.
1157
01:01:44,133 --> 01:01:45,134
Mmm.
1158
01:01:45,426 --> 01:01:47,303
Could this party get any lamer?
1159
01:01:48,345 --> 01:01:49,938
It's not so bad.
1160
01:01:51,432 --> 01:01:53,105
You want some E?
1161
01:01:53,267 --> 01:01:54,985
No. Why do you have that?
1162
01:01:55,436 --> 01:01:57,814
No one else here
probably has any.
1163
01:01:57,980 --> 01:01:59,027
Are you sure you
don't want one?
1164
01:01:59,190 --> 01:02:00,191
Yeah.
1165
01:02:00,316 --> 01:02:01,488
No... Yes.
1166
01:02:01,567 --> 01:02:02,568
No.
1167
01:02:02,651 --> 01:02:04,824
Okay. Fine. More for me, then.
1168
01:02:10,326 --> 01:02:11,623
And there they are.
1169
01:02:11,785 --> 01:02:12,957
Finchy.
1170
01:02:13,996 --> 01:02:17,500
There you guys are. Look around.
Can you believe this shit?
1171
01:02:17,666 --> 01:02:19,464
Yeah, man. Nice work.
1172
01:02:19,627 --> 01:02:21,049
For you.
1173
01:02:21,128 --> 01:02:22,880
What the hell am I
supposed to do with this?
1174
01:02:23,047 --> 01:02:24,515
That's called wine, Stifler.
1175
01:02:24,673 --> 01:02:26,300
No, no, no, no,
not at my party.
1176
01:02:26,383 --> 01:02:27,680
I'm going to get us some shots.
1177
01:02:29,094 --> 01:02:30,141
Hey, Kev.
1178
01:02:30,221 --> 01:02:31,814
Can I talk to you
guys for a sec?
1179
01:02:32,139 --> 01:02:34,141
Yeah, sure. Wait here,
I'll be right back.
1180
01:02:36,310 --> 01:02:37,857
So, you brought the goods?
1181
01:02:38,062 --> 01:02:39,314
Right here.
1182
01:02:39,480 --> 01:02:41,027
I want to see.
1183
01:02:43,484 --> 01:02:46,488
What the...
Where did those fuckers go?
1184
01:02:46,820 --> 01:02:47,821
Hello, Steven.
1185
01:02:48,364 --> 01:02:50,162
Mr. Levenstein. Yes.
1186
01:02:50,241 --> 01:02:51,333
You made it.
1187
01:02:51,492 --> 01:02:54,120
It is so great to see
all you kids back in town.
1188
01:02:54,203 --> 01:02:55,250
Hmm.
1189
01:02:55,329 --> 01:02:58,708
And what a terrific soiree
you're throwing here tonight.
1190
01:02:58,874 --> 01:03:00,717
Just wonderful!
1191
01:03:00,876 --> 01:03:04,551
You know what?
I'm going to get you fucked up.
1192
01:03:04,630 --> 01:03:05,927
Hmm? Have a shot.
1193
01:03:06,090 --> 01:03:07,683
Oh! No, no, no.
1194
01:03:07,841 --> 01:03:11,220
I don't think so, Steven.
I'm not much of a drinker.
1195
01:03:11,387 --> 01:03:13,355
Drink it. Drink it!
Drink it! No, I can't.
1196
01:03:13,514 --> 01:03:14,936
Drink it! Drink it!
1197
01:03:17,017 --> 01:03:18,109
Awesome! Let's do another one.
1198
01:03:18,185 --> 01:03:19,357
I don't think so.
1199
01:03:19,436 --> 01:03:21,780
Look, Kev, you don't know for
sure if anything happened.
1200
01:03:21,855 --> 01:03:25,200
I woke up next to her in bed,
and all our clothes were off.
1201
01:03:25,359 --> 01:03:28,033
I mean, whatever happened,
I feel guilty.
1202
01:03:28,195 --> 01:03:29,868
Kevin, in France,
1203
01:03:30,030 --> 01:03:33,705
it's only considered cheating if
your wife catches you in the act.
1204
01:03:37,079 --> 01:03:38,080
She's here.
1205
01:03:40,374 --> 01:03:41,796
I gotta go.
1206
01:03:42,084 --> 01:03:43,711
All right, get ready.
1207
01:03:43,877 --> 01:03:46,346
Wait for it. Wait for it!
1208
01:03:46,422 --> 01:03:47,469
Wait for it!
1209
01:03:47,548 --> 01:03:49,095
Here she comes!
1210
01:03:49,508 --> 01:03:50,555
Yeah!
1211
01:03:50,634 --> 01:03:52,386
Fuck yeah, Mr. Levenstein!
1212
01:03:52,553 --> 01:03:54,681
The name is Noah, motherfucker.
1213
01:03:57,891 --> 01:03:58,892
Mmm.
1214
01:03:59,059 --> 01:04:00,402
Feel the sofa.
1215
01:04:00,561 --> 01:04:03,235
It's so smooth.
1216
01:04:03,731 --> 01:04:06,575
It feels like a Smurf's ass.
1217
01:04:06,734 --> 01:04:08,077
Did you feel it?
1218
01:04:08,235 --> 01:04:11,284
Okay. Mia, can you...
1219
01:04:12,781 --> 01:04:14,749
Hey, guys. Sorry we're late.
1220
01:04:14,950 --> 01:04:15,951
Hi.
1221
01:04:16,994 --> 01:04:20,089
Hey, I got a treat for everybody.
I picked something up.
1222
01:04:20,247 --> 01:04:22,921
Celebrity Dance Off, Season Six.
My man, Chris Ostreicher.
1223
01:04:23,000 --> 01:04:24,001
Oh, my God.
1224
01:04:26,628 --> 01:04:28,630
We have to watch this.
1225
01:04:28,797 --> 01:04:31,471
Who wants to see my
baby shake his booty?
1226
01:04:33,093 --> 01:04:34,561
I know I do.
1227
01:04:34,720 --> 01:04:37,064
JDate? You have
to be kidding me.
1228
01:04:37,222 --> 01:04:40,476
If you want quality vag, you
have to go out into the wild.
1229
01:04:40,642 --> 01:04:41,894
"Vag"?
1230
01:04:42,770 --> 01:04:44,613
What is that, a half a vagina?
1231
01:04:46,065 --> 01:04:48,944
You know, in my day
we called it a beaver.
1232
01:04:49,109 --> 01:04:52,955
And let me tell you something,
I snagged a pelt or two.
1233
01:04:53,113 --> 01:04:54,160
I bet you did.
1234
01:04:54,281 --> 01:04:55,282
Dad?
1235
01:04:55,366 --> 01:04:57,789
Hey, Jim, your dad is so
much cooler than you.
1236
01:04:57,868 --> 01:04:59,541
Stifler, please stop
getting my dad drunk.
1237
01:04:59,620 --> 01:05:01,964
No, he's just trying
to get me some vag.
1238
01:05:02,039 --> 01:05:03,040
Okay, come on.
1239
01:05:03,123 --> 01:05:04,796
Yeah! Hey, hey.
1240
01:05:04,958 --> 01:05:06,631
Let the man make
his own decisions.
1241
01:05:06,794 --> 01:05:07,841
Stop. Come on.
1242
01:05:07,920 --> 01:05:08,921
Don't listen to him.
1243
01:05:09,588 --> 01:05:11,932
I want you to dust off
that old dick of yours,
1244
01:05:12,091 --> 01:05:14,093
go out there, and get some ass.
1245
01:05:14,259 --> 01:05:15,431
Oh! Just go out there.
1246
01:05:15,511 --> 01:05:16,637
I think I Will.
1247
01:05:16,804 --> 01:05:19,603
Dad, stop, okay?
It's exactly what I'm gonna...
1248
01:05:19,681 --> 01:05:22,355
I'm sorry, but you have had a
little too much to drink tonight,
1249
01:05:22,476 --> 01:05:23,728
and I'm not letting you...
No, no.
1250
01:05:23,811 --> 01:05:27,190
No, son, lhaven%
hardly had one drink.
1251
01:05:27,356 --> 01:05:29,654
And you know I love you.
1252
01:05:29,817 --> 01:05:34,038
I do love you, but you need to
1253
01:05:35,447 --> 01:05:36,448
chillax.
1254
01:05:37,032 --> 01:05:39,126
"Chillax"?
Dad, where are you going?
1255
01:05:39,201 --> 01:05:40,669
Do you see him? Jim! Jim!
1256
01:05:40,828 --> 01:05:42,501
Let him go.
Let him have some fun.
1257
01:05:43,664 --> 01:05:47,339
And now we can have some fun.
1258
01:05:48,544 --> 01:05:49,545
Come on.
1259
01:05:51,338 --> 01:05:52,806
Excuse me.
1260
01:05:52,965 --> 01:05:54,842
I'm sorry, excuse me.
1261
01:05:55,008 --> 01:05:56,100
Is this a washroom?
1262
01:05:57,553 --> 01:05:59,601
It doesn't even occur to you
that you're self-centered
1263
01:05:59,680 --> 01:06:02,604
because you are so
self-centered and...
1264
01:06:02,683 --> 01:06:04,560
You know what?
Hold on a second.
1265
01:06:06,520 --> 01:06:07,646
Can I help you?
1266
01:06:09,189 --> 01:06:10,566
Who might you be?
1267
01:06:10,732 --> 01:06:12,359
I'm Stifler's mom.
1268
01:06:12,860 --> 01:06:13,861
Oh.
1269
01:06:14,403 --> 01:06:16,201
I'm Jim's dad.
1270
01:06:17,531 --> 01:06:19,033
Later, fucker.
1271
01:06:37,885 --> 01:06:41,014
Oh, my God, this is the most
ridiculous thing I've ever seen.
1272
01:06:48,479 --> 01:06:50,356
Dude, you have an amazing body!
1273
01:06:50,439 --> 01:06:54,910
Everybody, raise the roof
for Chris Ostreicher!
1274
01:06:54,985 --> 01:06:56,987
You have really been
bringing it all season long.
1275
01:06:57,070 --> 01:07:01,576
But now it's time, Chris, to see if
America thinks you done brought it.
1276
01:07:02,242 --> 01:07:03,664
You ready? Let's do it.
1277
01:07:03,744 --> 01:07:04,745
Let's see the results.
1278
01:07:10,876 --> 01:07:13,595
What?
Gilbert Gottfried and not you?
1279
01:07:13,754 --> 01:07:14,880
Fucking bullshit!
1280
01:07:15,047 --> 01:07:17,175
Chris, I'm so sorry, man.
1281
01:07:17,341 --> 01:07:21,938
Well, we saw you jam.
Now, it's time to scram.
1282
01:07:22,888 --> 01:07:24,185
Do you have any last
thoughts for the audience?
1283
01:07:24,348 --> 01:07:26,851
Okay, guys, we can
probably end it there.
1284
01:07:27,017 --> 01:07:29,270
What? No, are you kidding?
I haven't seen this.
1285
01:07:29,436 --> 01:07:31,780
I think what I've
learned is to be true
1286
01:07:31,855 --> 01:07:32,947
to myself,
1287
01:07:33,106 --> 01:07:36,110
because that's what
dancing is, it's truth.
1288
01:07:36,276 --> 01:07:38,370
And maybe,
1289
01:07:38,612 --> 01:07:41,786
if we just danced
a little bit more,
1290
01:07:41,949 --> 01:07:45,328
there would be no more wars.
1291
01:07:47,204 --> 01:07:48,626
No more war!
1292
01:07:48,705 --> 01:07:51,003
Well, that is a thoughtful
take on foreign policy.
1293
01:07:52,501 --> 01:07:55,004
Stick around. Hulk Hogan gets
jiggy-friggy, right after this.
1294
01:07:55,170 --> 01:07:56,467
You don't want to miss this.
Stick around.
1295
01:08:05,347 --> 01:08:06,519
Hey.
1296
01:08:06,890 --> 01:08:08,984
If you want my opinion,
I think you got cheated.
1297
01:08:11,061 --> 01:08:12,233
Are you okay?
1298
01:08:13,146 --> 01:08:14,819
You know,
1299
01:08:15,566 --> 01:08:18,570
when you lose something that's important
to you, it doesn't feel very good.
1300
01:08:19,194 --> 01:08:21,413
Oz, it's just a show.
1301
01:08:22,030 --> 01:08:24,579
I'm not talking about the show.
1302
01:08:31,790 --> 01:08:33,667
Hey, Heather, you down there?
1303
01:08:34,293 --> 01:08:35,761
Um, coming!
1304
01:08:36,795 --> 01:08:38,172
Oh, my God.
1305
01:08:38,338 --> 01:08:39,635
Wait here, I'll be right back.
1306
01:08:41,300 --> 01:08:43,473
I can't tell you how many times
I walked into Steven's room
1307
01:08:43,635 --> 01:08:46,479
and I caught him in the
middle of sex with some girl.
1308
01:08:46,638 --> 01:08:49,437
At least he was with
a real, live human girl.
1309
01:08:49,600 --> 01:08:50,817
What are you talking about?
1310
01:08:50,892 --> 01:08:55,022
I walked into the kitchen once,
and I saw Jim humping a pie.
1311
01:08:57,107 --> 01:09:00,737
He turned the damn thing into a
crumble in about two seconds.
1312
01:09:05,449 --> 01:09:07,042
I can top that.
1313
01:09:07,200 --> 01:09:08,417
I once walked into my bedroom
1314
01:09:08,493 --> 01:09:11,872
and I caught Steven sticking
my hairbrush up his ass.
1315
01:09:15,626 --> 01:09:17,799
No, and it wasn't
the handle side, either.
1316
01:09:21,340 --> 01:09:22,341
Oh!
1317
01:09:23,717 --> 01:09:26,061
No, no, no.
1318
01:09:27,554 --> 01:09:31,980
A pretty lady like you shouldn't
be drinking quite so much.
1319
01:09:32,768 --> 01:09:34,111
And neither should I.
1320
01:09:40,734 --> 01:09:42,077
How about a joint, then?
1321
01:09:45,113 --> 01:09:49,243
We don't have to wait 13 years
to see each other again.
1322
01:09:49,409 --> 01:09:51,002
Yeah, true.
1323
01:09:51,161 --> 01:09:55,132
And I guess I could come along
on one of your adventures.
1324
01:09:55,290 --> 01:09:58,169
Am I good sidekick material?
1325
01:09:58,251 --> 01:09:59,298
Sidekick?
1326
01:09:59,378 --> 01:10:04,350
I think you are a lot more
than sidekick material.
1327
01:10:10,097 --> 01:10:11,940
Is everything okay?
1328
01:10:14,601 --> 01:10:16,603
It's better than ever.
1329
01:10:19,439 --> 01:10:20,486
Mmm. Mmm.
1330
01:10:20,565 --> 01:10:21,908
Okay, wait, wait.
1331
01:10:22,067 --> 01:10:25,913
I don't think we're dressed
appropriately for the occasion.
1332
01:10:26,071 --> 01:10:27,618
Put that on.
1333
01:10:27,781 --> 01:10:29,124
Wait, where are you going?
1334
01:10:29,199 --> 01:10:32,123
To change. Be back soon.
1335
01:10:42,629 --> 01:10:43,846
Dudes!
1336
01:10:45,632 --> 01:10:47,225
What's up, bro?
1337
01:10:48,176 --> 01:10:50,144
Big Stiffy?
1338
01:10:50,303 --> 01:10:52,397
Blowjob Lipstein.
1339
01:10:55,350 --> 01:10:58,149
Oh, you have to be
fucking kidding me!
1340
01:10:58,353 --> 01:10:59,479
Excuse me?
1341
01:11:06,194 --> 01:11:07,241
Okay.
1342
01:11:07,863 --> 01:11:11,037
What the hell are you doing?
You just expect me to blow you?
1343
01:11:11,116 --> 01:11:12,163
Yeah!
1344
01:11:12,325 --> 01:11:13,702
I'm out of here.
1345
01:11:13,869 --> 01:11:15,371
Wait. Wait, Wait!
1346
01:11:15,537 --> 01:11:17,005
Look, I get it.
1347
01:11:17,164 --> 01:11:18,837
You're self-conscious
about your body.
1348
01:11:19,541 --> 01:11:22,385
Don't worry. I was going to
shut the lights off anyway.
1349
01:11:22,544 --> 01:11:25,172
You are the same douchebag
that you were in high school.
1350
01:11:25,672 --> 01:11:29,393
You just expect me to do
everything while I get nothing?
1351
01:11:29,551 --> 01:11:30,552
Later.
1352
01:11:30,635 --> 01:11:31,852
No, no!
1353
01:11:36,016 --> 01:11:37,893
Let's make a deal.
1354
01:11:39,186 --> 01:11:42,565
I'll get you off,
you get me off.
1355
01:11:42,731 --> 01:11:44,608
What do you say?
1356
01:11:44,941 --> 01:11:46,193
Fine.
1357
01:11:46,860 --> 01:11:48,703
But I am putting you to work.
1358
01:11:49,070 --> 01:11:50,447
Holy shit.
1359
01:11:51,615 --> 01:11:53,367
Chow time!
1360
01:11:56,787 --> 01:11:58,664
There you are!
1361
01:11:58,747 --> 01:12:01,546
I've been looking
all over for you.
1362
01:12:01,708 --> 01:12:04,302
Listen, we really need to...
1363
01:12:06,046 --> 01:12:07,548
What are you doing?
1364
01:12:07,714 --> 01:12:09,136
Taking what's mine.
1365
01:12:11,718 --> 01:12:14,392
No, I just wanted to hear
the sound of your voice.
1366
01:12:14,679 --> 01:12:17,228
Aw, is everything okay?
You seem stressed.
1367
01:12:17,641 --> 01:12:19,268
Stressed?
1368
01:12:21,102 --> 01:12:22,900
There you are!
1369
01:12:24,397 --> 01:12:26,445
No, no, no.
1370
01:12:26,608 --> 01:12:30,329
I have to go right now, but I'll
call you back in a little bit.
1371
01:12:30,487 --> 01:12:33,741
Okay. And don't worry, I won't
watch Gossip Girl without you.
1372
01:12:33,865 --> 01:12:34,832
I miss you, babe.
1373
01:12:34,908 --> 01:12:36,330
I miss you, too.
1374
01:12:39,746 --> 01:12:43,250
Listen, Vicky,
about last night,
1375
01:12:44,125 --> 01:12:45,422
that wasn't me.
1376
01:12:45,585 --> 01:12:47,679
With what happened...
1377
01:12:48,338 --> 01:12:50,932
I don't know.
It might be normal in your world.
1378
01:12:51,091 --> 01:12:52,843
What do you think happened?
1379
01:12:53,301 --> 01:12:55,645
Well, all our clothes
were on the floor.
1380
01:12:55,804 --> 01:12:57,101
Yeah, because
they were soaking wet
1381
01:12:57,180 --> 01:12:58,853
from when you got drunk
and fell in the lake.
1382
01:12:59,015 --> 01:13:00,517
I took care of you.
1383
01:13:00,684 --> 01:13:03,528
So, we didn't have sex?
1384
01:13:03,687 --> 01:13:04,813
Of course not.
1385
01:13:05,480 --> 01:13:07,448
Oh, thank God!
1386
01:13:09,860 --> 01:13:12,704
I'm glad you think
so highly of me.
1387
01:13:13,738 --> 01:13:14,785
No.
1388
01:13:15,282 --> 01:13:16,875
Vicky, wait.
1389
01:13:17,868 --> 01:13:20,963
Oh, yeah! Oh, my God!
1390
01:13:21,121 --> 01:13:22,623
Mia, stop.
1391
01:13:24,291 --> 01:13:25,634
9l", my God, yeah!
1392
01:13:25,792 --> 01:13:27,009
Mia, get off!
1393
01:13:27,085 --> 01:13:28,962
I'm about to! I'm about to!
1394
01:13:31,214 --> 01:13:32,306
Heather.
1395
01:13:34,634 --> 01:13:35,681
What the hell?
1396
01:13:36,803 --> 01:13:38,476
You have something going on
with this skank?
1397
01:13:39,973 --> 01:13:42,647
Who are you calling a
skank, you fucking bitch?
1398
01:13:43,184 --> 01:13:44,902
Whoa! Whoa!
1399
01:13:45,353 --> 01:13:46,525
Stop it! Stop!
1400
01:13:46,688 --> 01:13:47,689
Stop it!
1401
01:13:49,316 --> 01:13:51,068
OW! What the fuck?
1402
01:13:51,234 --> 01:13:53,407
That's my extension, you bitch!
1403
01:13:53,570 --> 01:13:55,197
You motherfucker!
1404
01:13:55,363 --> 01:13:57,616
No, Mia! Wait a minute!
1405
01:13:58,867 --> 01:14:01,837
By the way,
I fucked Mario Lopez!
1406
01:14:06,333 --> 01:14:07,334
Ooh...
1407
01:14:10,253 --> 01:14:12,847
Okay, it's my turn now.
1408
01:14:13,006 --> 01:14:15,509
Uh-uh. Not this time.
1409
01:14:15,675 --> 01:14:17,473
Wait, what about our deal?
1410
01:14:17,636 --> 01:14:21,231
Now you know how it
feels, Big Stiffy.
1411
01:14:28,396 --> 01:14:29,739
Gross!
1412
01:14:54,081 --> 01:14:57,335
You didn't actually think I'd
fall asleep again, did you?
1413
01:14:57,501 --> 01:14:59,344
As long as you're mine,
I'm happy.
1414
01:14:59,503 --> 01:15:01,221
Jesus, Kara.
What are you doing here?
1415
01:15:01,380 --> 01:15:03,553
Your creepy friend invited
me and all my girlfriends.
1416
01:15:03,715 --> 01:15:06,093
Nice outfit, by the way.
Very kinky.
1417
01:15:06,969 --> 01:15:08,016
Oh, shit.
1418
01:15:08,220 --> 01:15:10,439
Don't worry. I locked it.
1419
01:15:13,016 --> 01:15:14,313
Oh, Jesus.
1420
01:15:17,938 --> 01:15:20,987
What the hell kind of freaky
shit is going on in here?
1421
01:15:21,149 --> 01:15:22,401
AJ, what are you doing here?
1422
01:15:22,567 --> 01:15:24,444
I followed you.
I had to see it with my own eyes.
1423
01:15:24,611 --> 01:15:28,241
First you fuck with my jet ski,
then you fuck my girlfriend?
1424
01:15:28,407 --> 01:15:30,660
No! God, no! Nothing happened.
1425
01:15:30,826 --> 01:15:31,918
You're going down, Sandler.
1426
01:15:32,035 --> 01:15:33,503
Sandler? What the...
1427
01:15:33,662 --> 01:15:35,130
Jesus Christ!
1428
01:15:37,207 --> 01:15:38,550
I'm going to kill you!
1429
01:15:40,377 --> 01:15:42,550
Jim, what the fuck
are you wearing?
1430
01:15:42,713 --> 01:15:45,136
Hey, I can explain
everything! Jesus!
1431
01:15:45,924 --> 01:15:46,971
Come on! Shit!
1432
01:15:47,092 --> 01:15:48,639
Get up, gimp!
1433
01:15:48,802 --> 01:15:50,804
Come on, I'm not
fighting you, okay?
1434
01:15:50,929 --> 01:15:52,476
This is silly. I'm an adult.
1435
01:15:52,639 --> 01:15:53,686
Oh, really?
1436
01:15:53,807 --> 01:15:55,775
Because to me you look
like a little bitch pussy.
1437
01:15:56,935 --> 01:15:58,687
Don't be a pussy, Jim.
1438
01:15:58,854 --> 01:16:01,448
Look, AJ, just calm down, okay?
1439
01:16:01,606 --> 01:16:04,701
What makes you little fuckers think you can
crash one of the Stifmeister's parties?
1440
01:16:05,402 --> 01:16:08,246
Did you just refer to yourself
as "the Stifmeister"?
1441
01:16:08,405 --> 01:16:11,534
Because that's the
lamest name ever!
1442
01:16:14,119 --> 01:16:16,247
I'm going to fucking kill you.
1443
01:16:16,413 --> 01:16:17,380
Bring it on.
1444
01:16:17,456 --> 01:16:18,958
Hey, Steve, come on, this is...
1445
01:16:24,296 --> 01:16:26,048
Where do you think
you're going?
1446
01:16:30,969 --> 01:16:33,688
Don't mess with
the Class of '99, bitch!
1447
01:16:34,890 --> 01:16:36,062
Finch!
1448
01:16:36,725 --> 01:16:37,897
Don't hurt my friend!
1449
01:16:52,824 --> 01:16:53,825
Hey!
1450
01:16:54,117 --> 01:16:57,166
Get off my husband,
you little piece of shit!
1451
01:17:09,091 --> 01:17:12,095
Oh, crap! It's the fuzz!
1452
01:17:12,844 --> 01:17:15,063
We have to get out.
How do you get out?
1453
01:17:15,263 --> 01:17:16,480
I need an escape route!
1454
01:17:16,640 --> 01:17:18,233
Oh, shit!
1455
01:17:18,350 --> 01:17:19,397
You want to be with him?
1456
01:17:19,476 --> 01:17:22,104
Fine! He's all yours.
1457
01:17:22,270 --> 01:17:23,692
Come on, man!
1458
01:17:25,690 --> 01:17:28,068
Jim, what's going on?
1459
01:17:28,235 --> 01:17:30,283
I am so sorry for all
of this. I can explain.
1460
01:17:30,987 --> 01:17:33,285
Last night I ran into
Kara, our neighbor.
1461
01:17:33,490 --> 01:17:36,539
She was too drunk to drive,
so I drove her home.
1462
01:17:36,701 --> 01:17:41,502
And she started taking off her
clothes, and touching my...
1463
01:17:41,832 --> 01:17:45,257
Okay, I know it doesn't sound
good, but nothing happened, okay?
1464
01:17:45,418 --> 01:17:47,512
I don't care about her at all!
1465
01:17:47,671 --> 01:17:50,220
Thanks a lot.
1466
01:17:50,632 --> 01:17:53,135
No, no, Kara, wait.
I didn't mean...
1467
01:17:53,301 --> 01:17:55,019
Wait, Michelle.
Hold on, hold on.
1468
01:17:55,178 --> 01:17:56,600
It's not what you think, okay?
1469
01:17:56,763 --> 01:18:01,269
I swear, I was just trying to
do the right thing, and I...
1470
01:18:01,351 --> 01:18:03,979
You have to believe
me, Michelle, please.
1471
01:18:04,896 --> 01:18:08,025
Whether I believe you or not,
1472
01:18:08,233 --> 01:18:09,610
I'm disappointed.
1473
01:18:10,026 --> 01:18:12,495
I'm going to stay
with my grandmother.
1474
01:18:12,654 --> 01:18:13,655
Hold it, Michelle.
1475
01:18:13,738 --> 01:18:14,739
No, Jim.
1476
01:18:15,365 --> 01:18:16,912
Hey, the fight's over, guys.
1477
01:18:17,075 --> 01:18:18,497
We're not here to stop a fight.
1478
01:18:18,743 --> 01:18:21,087
We're here about
that stolen motorcycle.
1479
01:18:21,246 --> 01:18:22,919
Looks like the VIN
numbers match up.
1480
01:18:23,081 --> 01:18:24,333
Paul Finch.
1481
01:18:24,499 --> 01:18:26,251
You're under arrest.
1482
01:18:27,586 --> 01:18:28,838
Awesome!
1483
01:18:29,171 --> 01:18:30,343
Excuse me, officer.
1484
01:18:30,422 --> 01:18:32,698
He won that bike betting on
the World Cup in Argentina.
1485
01:18:32,699 --> 01:18:34,973
You made some sort of mistake.
1486
01:18:35,051 --> 01:18:37,019
Paul, what's going on?
What is this about?
1487
01:18:37,304 --> 01:18:38,476
Paul.
1488
01:18:38,638 --> 01:18:39,935
Finch, just tell them.
1489
01:18:40,098 --> 01:18:41,270
Paul!
1490
01:18:42,517 --> 01:18:46,021
Hey, shitbreak, when you're
getting rammed by your cellmate tonight,
1491
01:18:46,188 --> 01:18:47,314
think of Kevin.
1492
01:18:51,359 --> 01:18:53,361
Michelle, can I just... Please!
1493
01:18:57,282 --> 01:18:58,329
Oh!
1494
01:18:59,075 --> 01:19:00,122
Ah!
1495
01:19:00,994 --> 01:19:02,246
Dad? Ah!
1496
01:19:06,791 --> 01:19:07,792
Dad?
1497
01:19:08,710 --> 01:19:10,132
Dad, what are you doing?
1498
01:19:10,295 --> 01:19:13,048
You didn't see me!
I'm not here!
1499
01:19:13,215 --> 01:19:14,387
I'm not here!
1500
01:19:15,967 --> 01:19:17,139
Is he all right?
1501
01:19:17,802 --> 01:19:19,475
I don't know.
1502
01:19:19,971 --> 01:19:21,473
What are we going
to do about Finch?
1503
01:19:21,640 --> 01:19:23,893
Fuck Finch. Let him
spend the night in jail.
1504
01:19:24,059 --> 01:19:25,276
Come on, Stifler!
1505
01:19:25,352 --> 01:19:26,569
Some friend you are.
1506
01:19:28,897 --> 01:19:30,365
What about you guys?
1507
01:19:30,565 --> 01:19:33,614
You don't call me,
you don't e-mail,
1508
01:19:33,693 --> 01:19:35,821
you don't comment
on my Facebook page.
1509
01:19:35,904 --> 01:19:38,202
You guys didn't even let me know you
were coming back for the reunion.
1510
01:19:38,365 --> 01:19:41,665
Because we knew, somehow, you would
find a way to screw things up.
1511
01:19:42,160 --> 01:19:43,833
Oh, I'm sorry, Jim.
1512
01:19:43,995 --> 01:19:45,588
I wanted us to have
a fucking fun time
1513
01:19:45,664 --> 01:19:47,166
this weekend,
like we did in high school.
1514
01:19:47,332 --> 01:19:49,334
But we're not in
high school any more.
1515
01:19:49,501 --> 01:19:51,003
You are so trapped
in the past, Stifler.
1516
01:19:51,169 --> 01:19:54,218
When are you going to realize that things
will never be the way they used to be?
1517
01:20:01,346 --> 01:20:02,563
Fine.
1518
01:20:03,765 --> 01:20:05,563
Guess the party's over.
1519
01:20:07,852 --> 01:20:09,104
Dicks.
1520
01:20:41,636 --> 01:20:43,934
Well, that was a great party.
1521
01:20:44,389 --> 01:20:46,767
I honestly think I had fun.
1522
01:20:48,727 --> 01:20:51,446
Well, that makes one of us.
1523
01:20:53,773 --> 01:20:55,116
Have you heard from Michelle?
1524
01:20:55,275 --> 01:20:58,529
No. She doesn't
want to talk to me.
1525
01:20:58,820 --> 01:21:00,618
What about the reunion tonight?
1526
01:21:00,697 --> 01:21:02,825
She said she may
or may not come.
1527
01:21:02,991 --> 01:21:04,789
What's going on with you two?
1528
01:21:04,951 --> 01:21:06,498
Jim, is there anything
you want to talk about?
1529
01:21:10,540 --> 01:21:11,712
Okay.
1530
01:21:12,459 --> 01:21:13,585
Um...
1531
01:21:14,794 --> 01:21:17,388
How often
1532
01:21:17,547 --> 01:21:20,892
did you and Mom...
1533
01:21:24,054 --> 01:21:25,351
You know?
1534
01:21:25,430 --> 01:21:27,524
Is that what this is about?
1535
01:21:27,599 --> 01:21:29,442
You and Michelle
haven't been...
1536
01:21:29,601 --> 01:21:31,444
Not lately, no.
1537
01:21:31,519 --> 01:21:32,566
Oh...
1538
01:21:35,106 --> 01:21:36,949
ls it
1539
01:21:37,108 --> 01:21:38,610
an erectile problem?
1540
01:21:39,444 --> 01:21:43,790
Because sometimes you
can buy a little time
1541
01:21:43,948 --> 01:21:45,245
with a well-placed thumb.
1542
01:21:45,325 --> 01:21:47,202
Oh, God. I'm just saying.
1543
01:21:47,285 --> 01:21:49,162
I don't think that's it.
That's not it?
1544
01:21:49,454 --> 01:21:54,255
Oh! That's something to keep in your
back pocket, because that's a no-fail.
1545
01:21:54,417 --> 01:21:56,090
Okay, let's be done with that.
1546
01:21:56,252 --> 01:21:59,677
No, things in that
department were fine.
1547
01:22:00,882 --> 01:22:02,976
And then Evan was born
1548
01:22:03,176 --> 01:22:06,055
and we kind of stopped.
1549
01:22:06,304 --> 01:22:10,150
And they haven't really
picked up since, you know?
1550
01:22:10,934 --> 01:22:14,188
This is not a problem,
so do not worry.
1551
01:22:14,312 --> 01:22:16,155
You understand?
Yeah, listen, Jim.
1552
01:22:16,314 --> 01:22:17,782
Before you were born,
1553
01:22:17,857 --> 01:22:20,827
your mother and I,
we would do it every day.
1554
01:22:20,902 --> 01:22:21,903
I don't need this.
1555
01:22:21,986 --> 01:22:24,330
Sometimes two or
three times a day.
1556
01:22:24,406 --> 01:22:28,001
This is back in the '70s.
A lot of experimentation was going on.
1557
01:22:28,201 --> 01:22:32,923
Your mother favored something she
called, "diving for dollars."
1558
01:22:33,164 --> 01:22:36,043
Holy shit. I'm sorry,
I don't need...
1559
01:22:36,126 --> 01:22:38,504
That's fine, we can...
1560
01:22:38,670 --> 01:22:39,922
I don't have to
go on with that.
1561
01:22:40,004 --> 01:22:45,477
But my point is, when you have a
kid, you become a dad and a mom.
1562
01:22:45,844 --> 01:22:50,065
But it's very important not to
stop being a husband and a wife.
1563
01:22:50,640 --> 01:22:54,190
And if you do that,
the sex will come.
1564
01:22:56,271 --> 01:22:57,739
That actually
makes a lot of sense.
1565
01:22:57,897 --> 01:23:01,276
But you can't just wait for
the two of you to be alone.
1566
01:23:01,443 --> 01:23:04,913
You have to make
your own alone time.
1567
01:23:05,113 --> 01:23:08,788
Why do you think you went to
Hebrew school three times a week?
1568
01:23:08,950 --> 01:23:12,955
Sundays, noon to three?
Tuesdays, four to seven?
1569
01:23:13,079 --> 01:23:14,376
Okay, I get it, Dad.
1570
01:23:14,456 --> 01:23:16,675
If you get it,
then why the questions?
1571
01:23:16,833 --> 01:23:17,925
I'm sorry.
1572
01:23:18,001 --> 01:23:20,095
You're going through this, I am sorry.
I should be listening.
1573
01:23:20,253 --> 01:23:23,257
No, I'm overreacting.
I'm sorry.
1574
01:23:27,093 --> 01:23:28,811
Thank you.
1575
01:23:29,345 --> 01:23:31,268
Again. Really.
1576
01:23:34,684 --> 01:23:35,936
Anytime.
1577
01:23:40,773 --> 01:23:42,366
Welcome, you guys.
1578
01:23:42,442 --> 01:23:45,992
Listen, find your nametag, find
out what table you're sitting at.
1579
01:23:46,070 --> 01:23:48,323
Ashley, so good to see you!
Oh, my God.
1580
01:23:48,490 --> 01:23:51,539
Billy! Oh, my God,
you're looking so svelte.
1581
01:23:51,701 --> 01:23:54,830
You used to be morbidly obese.
I was concerned.
1582
01:23:54,913 --> 01:23:56,005
Hey.
1583
01:23:56,080 --> 01:23:57,172
He)', guys.
1584
01:23:57,248 --> 01:23:58,921
Hey, Jim. Oz.
1585
01:23:59,209 --> 01:24:00,381
Where is Mia?
1586
01:24:00,460 --> 01:24:02,588
She flew out this morning.
1587
01:24:02,754 --> 01:24:05,098
Oh. I'm sorry, man.
1588
01:24:05,924 --> 01:24:06,971
What about Michelle?
1589
01:24:08,218 --> 01:24:10,095
I am not sure yet.
1590
01:24:10,803 --> 01:24:12,100
ALL; Finch!
1591
01:24:12,305 --> 01:24:15,650
What happened? I called the police
department a thousand times.
1592
01:24:15,725 --> 01:24:20,606
I appreciate that, Kevin.
But my mom, actually, bailed me out.
1593
01:24:22,357 --> 01:24:23,859
Guys, I screwed up.
1594
01:24:24,025 --> 01:24:26,119
That bike belongs to my boss.
1595
01:24:26,277 --> 01:24:30,623
And I was promised a raise,
and I didn't get it, so I
1596
01:24:30,740 --> 01:24:31,992
simply borrowed it.
1597
01:24:32,784 --> 01:24:35,287
The truth is that my life
isn't interesting at all.
1598
01:24:35,787 --> 01:24:39,792
I am an assistant manager at a
Staples in Bayonne, New Jersey.
1599
01:24:40,041 --> 01:24:43,261
I lied to my best friends,
and I'm sorry.
1600
01:24:44,671 --> 01:24:47,766
You know, Finch,
just because you sold out
1601
01:24:47,840 --> 01:24:50,844
and got a boring job
like most of us,
1602
01:24:50,927 --> 01:24:52,554
that doesn't mean you
should be embarrassed.
1603
01:24:52,637 --> 01:24:55,231
Yeah, come on, man.
None of that shit matters.
1604
01:24:56,307 --> 01:24:57,559
That means a lot, gentlemen.
1605
01:24:57,725 --> 01:24:59,102
What about your arm?
1606
01:24:59,185 --> 01:25:00,186
Oh.
1607
01:25:01,813 --> 01:25:04,566
I spilled coffee on myself
while I was driving.
1608
01:25:04,732 --> 01:25:05,904
No.
1609
01:25:06,651 --> 01:25:08,324
It hurt like a bitch, though.
1610
01:25:08,444 --> 01:25:11,288
I'll bet. Jesus, Finch.
1611
01:25:11,656 --> 01:25:14,079
Oh, hey, check this
out, you guys.
1612
01:25:15,410 --> 01:25:17,504
Crazy, huh? Look at us.
1613
01:25:17,662 --> 01:25:18,834
A lot of memories.
1614
01:25:20,832 --> 01:25:22,459
"Steve Stifler."
1615
01:25:23,418 --> 01:25:26,342
"Hopes to keep the party
going with his boys."
1616
01:25:30,300 --> 01:25:32,052
Any sign of him yet?
1617
01:25:32,218 --> 01:25:33,936
I don't think
he's going to show.
1618
01:25:49,485 --> 01:25:50,702
Stifler?
1619
01:25:54,782 --> 01:25:55,874
How'd you find me?
1620
01:25:56,034 --> 01:25:57,377
We asked your mom.
1621
01:25:58,202 --> 01:26:00,705
Oh, no. I didn't do anything.
1622
01:26:02,040 --> 01:26:06,796
We wanted to apologize
for what we said last night.
1623
01:26:07,378 --> 01:26:08,379
We didn't mean it.
1624
01:26:09,797 --> 01:26:13,722
Yeah, you did.
I get it, you guys think I'm a dick.
1625
01:26:18,389 --> 01:26:20,687
Okay. Well,
1626
01:26:21,559 --> 01:26:23,982
maybe you are kind of a dick.
1627
01:26:24,896 --> 01:26:25,988
But,
1628
01:26:26,981 --> 01:26:28,733
you're a fun dick.
1629
01:26:28,900 --> 01:26:31,949
And you're our dick.
1630
01:26:32,570 --> 01:26:37,417
Yeah, man. You were one of the biggest
reasons that high school was awesome.
1631
01:26:37,575 --> 01:26:40,249
Yeah, high school was awesome.
1632
01:26:40,411 --> 01:26:43,210
Then we graduated and everybody
started getting jobs
1633
01:26:43,373 --> 01:26:45,592
and getting married
and having kids
1634
01:26:45,667 --> 01:26:48,045
and all that other stupid shit.
1635
01:26:48,211 --> 01:26:51,886
Now, look at me.
I'm the bitch of this place.
1636
01:26:52,090 --> 01:26:54,058
Look, Stifler, none of
our lives are perfect.
1637
01:26:54,217 --> 01:26:55,434
Especially mine.
1638
01:26:56,386 --> 01:27:00,766
But what do you say we keep this party
going, and hit up this reunion together?
1639
01:27:02,600 --> 01:27:04,568
What the hell is going on here?
1640
01:27:05,311 --> 01:27:08,815
Oh, my God.
This is the jackass.
1641
01:27:09,232 --> 01:27:11,701
You're not even close to being
finished and you're up here
1642
01:27:11,776 --> 01:27:13,904
"chilling with your posse"?
1643
01:27:14,028 --> 01:27:15,245
Sorry, we can explain.
1644
01:27:15,405 --> 01:27:16,702
No, Kevin.
1645
01:27:18,116 --> 01:27:19,208
Allow me.
1646
01:27:19,283 --> 01:27:21,911
Yeah, Kevin, allow him.
1647
01:27:21,994 --> 01:27:23,211
This better be good, Stafler.
1648
01:27:23,788 --> 01:27:25,790
It's Stifler, fucker.
1649
01:27:26,124 --> 01:27:30,129
Oh, wow.
Who the hell do you think you are?
1650
01:27:30,294 --> 01:27:33,798
Are you acting tough in front
of your girlfriend? Huh?
1651
01:27:33,881 --> 01:27:35,883
Because we both know she's
only with you for your money.
1652
01:27:36,718 --> 01:27:38,061
Definitely not for your dick.
1653
01:27:38,219 --> 01:27:40,062
Because anybody that's
peed next to you
1654
01:27:40,138 --> 01:27:41,981
knows it's the size of
a leprechaun's pinkie.
1655
01:27:43,558 --> 01:27:45,560
That's not true.
1656
01:27:45,643 --> 01:27:48,988
"That's not
true." Oh, yeah, it is.
1657
01:27:50,565 --> 01:27:54,320
Look, just because you got a fancy
office and I don't even have a desk
1658
01:27:54,485 --> 01:27:56,783
doesn't change
who we really are.
1659
01:27:56,946 --> 01:28:00,496
The truth is,
you're still a dork,
1660
01:28:00,658 --> 01:28:02,581
and I can still kick your ass.
1661
01:28:03,494 --> 01:28:05,167
But I'm not going to.
1662
01:28:05,329 --> 01:28:06,831
You know why?
1663
01:28:06,998 --> 01:28:08,966
Because I'm the
fucking Stifmeister.
1664
01:28:09,167 --> 01:28:12,671
And you can take this job and
shove it up your dickhole
1665
01:28:12,837 --> 01:28:14,965
because I have
a reunion to attend.
1666
01:28:15,131 --> 01:28:16,303
Dudes?
1667
01:28:22,847 --> 01:28:26,522
By the way, I had no clue what I
was doing with any of this shit,
1668
01:28:26,684 --> 01:28:29,028
so you got a lot of work to do.
1669
01:29:03,721 --> 01:29:05,394
Surprise! Hey! You made it.
1670
01:29:05,556 --> 01:29:06,808
Of course.
1671
01:29:06,974 --> 01:29:08,101
What do you think about
the Lions this year?
1672
01:29:08,102 --> 01:29:09,227
They got a shot?
1673
01:29:09,393 --> 01:29:11,771
We'll see if their
offensive line can hold.
1674
01:29:11,938 --> 01:29:14,566
Are you planning on being on
All Stars?
1675
01:29:14,732 --> 01:29:16,655
I actually haven't
thought much about that.
1676
01:29:16,818 --> 01:29:18,866
You should think about it.
1677
01:29:23,491 --> 01:29:26,836
I'm sorry, guys,
you'll have to excuse me.
1678
01:29:31,415 --> 01:29:32,758
Can I cut in?
1679
01:29:33,334 --> 01:29:35,928
I don't know.
Can you promise to keep your shirt on?
1680
01:29:36,796 --> 01:29:39,595
Come on, buddy, I'm busting balls.
Huh?
1681
01:29:39,674 --> 01:29:41,768
Yeah, of course.
1682
01:29:42,093 --> 01:29:43,436
I'll get us some drinks.
1683
01:29:43,511 --> 01:29:44,637
Okay.
1684
01:29:46,430 --> 01:29:48,979
Hey.
1685
01:29:50,017 --> 01:29:52,315
Shouldn't you be dancing
with your girlfriend?
1686
01:29:52,478 --> 01:29:53,479
Uh...
1687
01:29:54,605 --> 01:29:57,779
Mia and I are over.
1688
01:29:59,277 --> 01:30:03,953
She wanted me
to be someone else.
1689
01:30:04,490 --> 01:30:08,165
Something that I
don't want to be.
1690
01:30:09,287 --> 01:30:11,460
What do you want, Chris?
1691
01:30:11,956 --> 01:30:14,300
Heather, I want this.
1692
01:30:14,709 --> 01:30:16,006
I want us.
1693
01:30:17,461 --> 01:30:20,965
What about your career? LA?
1694
01:30:21,132 --> 01:30:24,432
Look, I know that it's crazy.
1695
01:30:24,594 --> 01:30:29,350
And I don't have all the answers
right now, but I see you,
1696
01:30:30,725 --> 01:30:32,193
and I just know
1697
01:30:33,436 --> 01:30:34,608
I want you.
1698
01:30:36,147 --> 01:30:37,273
I love you.
1699
01:30:38,482 --> 01:30:39,859
I love you.
1700
01:30:46,824 --> 01:30:47,916
So, I'm skiing down a mountain.
1701
01:30:47,992 --> 01:30:49,335
Guy has a heart
attack right there.
1702
01:30:49,493 --> 01:30:52,372
Saved his life.
It was a big story, you can Google it.
1703
01:30:52,538 --> 01:30:53,664
Yeah, it was.
1704
01:30:53,831 --> 01:30:55,174
I bet.
1705
01:30:56,167 --> 01:30:58,340
Holy shit! Excuse me.
1706
01:30:58,502 --> 01:31:00,925
Hey, excuse me.
What the hell is going on?
1707
01:31:01,339 --> 01:31:02,465
Ron, I can explain.
1708
01:31:02,548 --> 01:31:03,925
Seriously, this guy?
1709
01:31:04,091 --> 01:31:06,344
I'm a fucking heart surgeon,
this guy's not even on ESPN.
1710
01:31:06,510 --> 01:31:08,308
Hey, take it easy, Ron.
1711
01:31:08,471 --> 01:31:10,815
What are you going to do?
Hit me, Oz? Huh?
1712
01:31:10,973 --> 01:31:13,897
Oh, I got an idea.
What about a dance-off? Huh?
1713
01:31:14,852 --> 01:31:17,696
This isn't a reality show, okay?
This is the real world.
1714
01:31:17,855 --> 01:31:21,200
You take one swing at me, I will
sue you for all you're worth.
1715
01:31:25,655 --> 01:31:28,124
I'm not worth jack shit, Dron.
1716
01:31:30,701 --> 01:31:31,918
I'm your dick.
1717
01:31:34,914 --> 01:31:35,961
Dropped him!
1718
01:31:36,040 --> 01:31:37,041
That was awesome!
1719
01:31:37,208 --> 01:31:39,381
Listen, we had a blast
the other night.
1720
01:31:40,544 --> 01:31:43,013
Have you ever thought about
being a party planner?
1721
01:31:43,547 --> 01:31:45,970
Because we want you
to plan our wedding.
1722
01:31:46,050 --> 01:31:47,597
Say yes.
1723
01:31:48,594 --> 01:31:50,562
Yeah, yeah! I'd love to.
1724
01:31:50,638 --> 01:31:52,436
Nice! Oh, my God.
1725
01:31:52,598 --> 01:31:54,316
Thanks! This is great, man.
1726
01:31:54,475 --> 01:31:57,103
Thank you so much.
Thank you, bro.
1727
01:31:57,269 --> 01:31:58,737
You're welcome. Thank you.
1728
01:32:04,527 --> 01:32:05,619
I have to tell you something.
1729
01:32:05,695 --> 01:32:06,821
You don't have to explain.
1730
01:32:07,405 --> 01:32:11,751
Look, Paul, I didn't like you
because you climbed the Alps,
1731
01:32:11,909 --> 01:32:13,911
or killed a camel
with your bare hands.
1732
01:32:14,245 --> 01:32:16,748
I liked you because you were
still the same good guy
1733
01:32:16,831 --> 01:32:19,084
that was actually nice
to me in high school.
1734
01:32:19,709 --> 01:32:20,961
I'm still that guy.
1735
01:32:21,377 --> 01:32:23,095
I really am.
1736
01:32:23,838 --> 01:32:26,557
You know, the last time I
was here was for prom.
1737
01:32:27,800 --> 01:32:29,097
I didn't have a date.
1738
01:32:29,176 --> 01:32:30,428
Neither did I.
1739
01:32:33,097 --> 01:32:34,223
I have to get a drink.
1740
01:32:34,348 --> 01:32:35,850
What?
1741
01:32:36,017 --> 01:32:37,064
Was my dancing that bad?
1742
01:32:37,143 --> 01:32:38,190
Yeah.
1743
01:32:38,602 --> 01:32:40,275
Kev! Hey!
1744
01:32:40,354 --> 01:32:41,355
Hey, Jess!
1745
01:32:41,439 --> 01:32:43,237
Wow. Look, you have a beard!
It looks great.
1746
01:32:43,315 --> 01:32:45,283
Thanks. I'm kidding.
1747
01:32:45,401 --> 01:32:47,779
Let's just get this out of the way.
1748
01:32:47,945 --> 01:32:49,572
I'm a lesbian now, and
this is my girlfriend.
1749
01:32:49,573 --> 01:32:51,199
This is Ingrid.
1750
01:32:51,365 --> 01:32:53,083
Good to meet you.
Nice to meet you, too.
1751
01:32:53,242 --> 01:32:55,916
Lesbians? I knew it!
1752
01:32:55,995 --> 01:32:57,793
Why don't you guys
make out and prove it.
1753
01:32:57,955 --> 01:33:01,050
You must be Stifler.
I've heard a lot about you. Ow!
1754
01:33:01,125 --> 01:33:02,593
Mostly negative.
1755
01:33:02,793 --> 01:33:04,887
Cool, dude. What the fuck?
1756
01:33:04,962 --> 01:33:06,805
Jessica, it's good to see you.
1757
01:33:06,922 --> 01:33:08,048
No, it wasn't.
1758
01:33:08,132 --> 01:33:09,258
What the...
1759
01:33:09,717 --> 01:33:12,470
Look, Kev, I think you
should go talk to Vicky.
1760
01:33:12,720 --> 01:33:14,814
She's really upset over there.
1761
01:33:15,639 --> 01:33:17,733
Yeah, thanks.
1762
01:33:17,808 --> 01:33:19,185
Nice to meet you.
1763
01:33:19,268 --> 01:33:21,487
Be a real man,
you have a beard now.
1764
01:33:25,441 --> 01:33:27,409
Kevin, don't. I'm fine.
1765
01:33:27,568 --> 01:33:31,163
Come on.
I was a complete jerk last night.
1766
01:33:31,322 --> 01:33:34,201
I was just upset that you would
think that I would do that
1767
01:33:34,366 --> 01:33:35,993
knowing that you're married.
1768
01:33:36,535 --> 01:33:38,208
I know you wouldn't.
1769
01:33:38,370 --> 01:33:41,965
Honestly, that was more
about me being nervous.
1770
01:33:43,042 --> 01:33:47,138
Seeing you again, all these
old feelings came up, and...
1771
01:33:47,296 --> 01:33:50,015
I don't know, I guess
I just felt guilty.
1772
01:33:50,883 --> 01:33:55,059
But the fact that I still
have feelings for you
1773
01:33:55,221 --> 01:33:57,974
just means that what
we had was special.
1774
01:33:58,140 --> 01:34:00,017
Don't get me wrong, all right.
1775
01:34:00,184 --> 01:34:03,484
I love Ellie
more than anything.
1776
01:34:03,646 --> 01:34:06,149
But no matter
how much time passes
1777
01:34:06,899 --> 01:34:08,867
you'll always be my first love.
1778
01:34:11,904 --> 01:34:13,030
And you'll always be mine.
1779
01:34:13,697 --> 01:34:14,744
Kev. Hey.
1780
01:34:14,907 --> 01:34:16,875
You have to try these
cupcakes, they're awesome.
1781
01:34:16,951 --> 01:34:19,079
Ellie, this is Vicky.
1782
01:34:19,328 --> 01:34:23,583
Oh, my God! The Vicky?
Kevin has told me so much about you.
1783
01:34:23,707 --> 01:34:26,711
You're a really lucky girl.
He's a great guy.
1784
01:34:27,962 --> 01:34:29,680
Come dance with us.
No, it's okay.
1785
01:34:29,839 --> 01:34:32,592
Yes, come on, this is
happening. Come on.
1786
01:35:12,256 --> 01:35:13,303
Hey.
1787
01:35:14,341 --> 01:35:15,342
Hey.
1788
01:35:18,762 --> 01:35:19,888
My name's Jim.
1789
01:35:20,848 --> 01:35:24,022
We were in Mr. Lee's
English class together.
1790
01:35:24,268 --> 01:35:25,315
Really?
1791
01:35:26,103 --> 01:35:30,279
Yeah, I...
Sorry, I don't remember you.
1792
01:35:30,482 --> 01:35:31,608
Okay.
1793
01:35:32,818 --> 01:35:36,322
I was the kid who everyone
saw on the Internet.
1794
01:35:36,697 --> 01:35:37,698
Mmm.
1795
01:35:37,781 --> 01:35:41,001
Sorry, you're going to
have to be more specific.
1796
01:35:41,160 --> 01:35:42,833
I pre-ejaculated twice.
1797
01:35:42,953 --> 01:35:44,455
Oh, Jim Levenstein! Right!
1798
01:35:44,538 --> 01:35:47,007
Levenstein.
Yeah, Jim Levenstein.
1799
01:35:47,166 --> 01:35:49,669
Now I remember. Yeah.
1800
01:35:50,544 --> 01:35:52,967
So, how have you been
since high school?
1801
01:35:53,339 --> 01:35:56,138
Pretty good. Yeah, pretty good.
Let's see.
1802
01:35:56,467 --> 01:35:57,468
Um...
1803
01:35:57,968 --> 01:35:58,969
Oh!
1804
01:36:01,639 --> 01:36:04,142
I married the most wonderful
woman in the world.
1805
01:36:06,435 --> 01:36:08,153
And we have
the cutest kid ever.
1806
01:36:09,521 --> 01:36:12,650
It sounds like
things are perfect.
1807
01:36:13,484 --> 01:36:16,328
I'm willing to do whatever
it takes to make it perfect.
1808
01:36:17,571 --> 01:36:21,747
And that means being the
sexiest husband possible.
1809
01:36:22,660 --> 01:36:23,786
Really?
1810
01:36:24,536 --> 01:36:25,879
Michelle, you look beautiful.
1811
01:36:26,247 --> 01:36:28,716
Oh, thanks.
1812
01:36:30,042 --> 01:36:31,510
Would you like to dance?
1813
01:36:32,086 --> 01:36:33,383
I'd love to.
1814
01:36:49,019 --> 01:36:50,020
Whoo!
1815
01:36:54,775 --> 01:36:55,947
Stifler.
1816
01:36:56,193 --> 01:36:58,787
Sherman? The Sherminator?
1817
01:36:59,321 --> 01:37:01,039
What the fuck
have you been up to?
1818
01:37:01,198 --> 01:37:03,576
Married. Had a kid.
1819
01:37:03,742 --> 01:37:05,460
And divorced.
1820
01:37:05,869 --> 01:37:08,418
Oh! I'm sorry.
1821
01:37:08,580 --> 01:37:09,752
Yeah, I'm sure you are.
1822
01:37:09,832 --> 01:37:12,881
But, you know what, at least I
got to keep little Furlong.
1823
01:37:14,044 --> 01:37:16,172
You named your kid
after Eddie Furlong?
1824
01:37:16,547 --> 01:37:17,890
Yes, I did. You know why?
1825
01:37:18,048 --> 01:37:21,097
Because Terminator 2 is still
the greatest film ever made.
1826
01:37:21,719 --> 01:37:25,223
Dude, you need
to get banged bad.
1827
01:38:00,979 --> 01:38:02,981
Okay, we have
to get out of here.
1828
01:38:03,148 --> 01:38:05,116
It's about time. Yeah.
1829
01:38:09,863 --> 01:38:11,080
It's a lost cause.
1830
01:38:11,156 --> 01:38:13,909
All these women are either
married or came with dates.
1831
01:38:15,327 --> 01:38:16,328
Hey, Loni.
1832
01:38:16,411 --> 01:38:19,915
Dude, how would you like
to have your world blown?
1833
01:38:31,217 --> 01:38:33,686
Hasta la vista, Stifler.
1834
01:38:38,850 --> 01:38:42,525
Great, everybody's
getting laid but me.
1835
01:38:42,687 --> 01:38:43,984
This sucks.
1836
01:38:44,147 --> 01:38:45,945
Excuse me.
1837
01:38:46,107 --> 01:38:47,984
Hi. Hi.
1838
01:38:48,151 --> 01:38:51,200
I'm looking for Paul Finch.
Have you seen him anywhere?
1839
01:38:51,363 --> 01:38:53,081
What do you want with Finch?
1840
01:38:53,239 --> 01:38:56,334
I'm here to pick him up.
I'm his mom.
1841
01:38:59,871 --> 01:39:01,088
Finch has a mom?
1842
01:39:03,375 --> 01:39:06,379
I mean, you're Finch's mom?
1843
01:39:07,212 --> 01:39:09,556
Yeah. Are you a friend of his?
1844
01:39:09,714 --> 01:39:10,806
Oh, yeah.
1845
01:39:11,925 --> 01:39:13,472
Paul is like my best friend.
1846
01:39:13,635 --> 01:39:17,890
I love him so much.
More now than ever before.
1847
01:39:18,056 --> 01:39:21,435
In fact, I can't believe we haven't met.
I'm Steven Stifler.
1848
01:39:24,354 --> 01:39:25,480
I'm Rachel.
1849
01:39:27,315 --> 01:39:29,363
What? What is it?
1850
01:39:29,526 --> 01:39:33,281
I just got this feeling like something
really bad is about to happen.
1851
01:39:33,446 --> 01:39:38,327
Don't worry.
I'll be as quiet as a church mouse.
1852
01:39:42,914 --> 01:39:44,006
Oh, Jim!
1853
01:39:48,044 --> 01:39:49,091
Oh!
1854
01:39:51,506 --> 01:39:52,507
I want you so bad.
1855
01:39:52,590 --> 01:39:54,263
Oh, you have no idea!
1856
01:39:55,093 --> 01:39:57,141
Oh, God! Oh, God!
1857
01:39:57,303 --> 01:40:00,853
Oh, God, there it is.
I don't think I can hold it any more.
1858
01:40:00,932 --> 01:40:01,933
Hold it in!
1859
01:40:02,016 --> 01:40:04,064
I'm sorry, I will.
1860
01:40:04,185 --> 01:40:05,357
I just forgot
how awesome this is.
1861
01:40:05,478 --> 01:40:07,651
Oh, yeah, I need this.
1862
01:40:10,442 --> 01:40:13,116
Oh, God, Michelle!
Fuck, I love you!
1863
01:40:13,194 --> 01:40:14,446
Jim?
1864
01:40:16,531 --> 01:40:17,532
Nadia?
1865
01:40:19,742 --> 01:40:20,743
Hey.
1866
01:40:21,786 --> 01:40:24,960
I'm sorry. You are busy, yes?
1867
01:40:25,790 --> 01:40:26,882
No. Yes.
1868
01:40:26,958 --> 01:40:28,130
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
1869
01:40:28,793 --> 01:40:31,797
Nadia, it's so nice to see you.
1870
01:40:32,172 --> 01:40:34,846
But do you think you
could give us a minute?
1871
01:40:35,008 --> 01:40:35,975
Three.
1872
01:40:36,050 --> 01:40:37,051
Three minutes.
1873
01:40:37,218 --> 01:40:40,848
Okay! So nice you
are still together.
1874
01:40:40,930 --> 01:40:41,931
Aw!
1875
01:40:42,015 --> 01:40:44,393
And I see you've gotten
much better at this.
1876
01:40:45,101 --> 01:40:47,354
Well, thanks.
1877
01:40:52,233 --> 01:40:54,782
That's Jim?
He looks nothing like me.
1878
01:40:56,613 --> 01:41:01,744
You know, when I was in high
school, I dated a lacrosse player.
1879
01:41:01,993 --> 01:41:03,870
In fact, I dated a few of them.
1880
01:41:04,037 --> 01:41:06,039
You don't say.
1881
01:41:06,206 --> 01:41:09,380
I always wanted Paul
to be more into sports.
1882
01:41:09,542 --> 01:41:12,261
But he was never
that interested.
1883
01:41:12,754 --> 01:41:14,427
You don't have to sugarcoat it.
1884
01:41:14,589 --> 01:41:15,932
Finch was a klutz.
1885
01:41:18,426 --> 01:41:21,350
Yeah, I guess he was, but he
did not get that from me.
1886
01:41:21,554 --> 01:41:24,433
I was head cheerleader.
1887
01:41:24,766 --> 01:41:27,770
And if there's anything I
learned from lacrosse players,
1888
01:41:27,936 --> 01:41:31,486
it's that I like
to handle a stick
1889
01:41:33,149 --> 01:41:35,698
and cradle those balls.
1890
01:41:38,947 --> 01:41:40,164
I love you.
1891
01:41:41,115 --> 01:41:43,413
Are you ready for me, Stifler?
1892
01:41:47,872 --> 01:41:49,124
Oh, yeah!
1893
01:41:50,708 --> 01:41:52,301
Let's go.
1894
01:41:52,460 --> 01:41:54,383
Oh, Michelle.
1895
01:41:54,546 --> 01:41:56,469
Oh, God, Michelle.
1896
01:41:57,048 --> 01:41:59,471
You are amazing!
1897
01:41:59,842 --> 01:42:01,310
Better than the bathtub?
1898
01:42:01,386 --> 01:42:02,433
Much.
1899
01:42:04,222 --> 01:42:05,849
Better than this?
1900
01:42:06,307 --> 01:42:07,399
Ooh!
1901
01:42:10,728 --> 01:42:12,230
Of course.
1902
01:42:13,731 --> 01:42:15,654
Oh, take those off!
1903
01:42:15,817 --> 01:42:17,114
We shouldn't be doing this.
1904
01:42:17,277 --> 01:42:18,369
Yes, we should.
1905
01:42:18,444 --> 01:42:20,287
Oh, Stifler.
1906
01:42:20,446 --> 01:42:21,993
Oh, Finch's mom!
1907
01:42:23,491 --> 01:42:24,834
Call me the Stifmeister!
1908
01:42:24,993 --> 01:42:27,416
Yeah, you are the Stifmeister.
1909
01:42:28,913 --> 01:42:30,165
MILF?
1910
01:42:36,838 --> 01:42:38,431
Oh, Finch's mom!
1911
01:42:38,673 --> 01:42:39,720
MILF.
1912
01:42:41,301 --> 01:42:42,348
MILF.
1913
01:42:46,097 --> 01:42:47,440
Tell me I'm the best.
1914
01:42:47,515 --> 01:42:49,188
You are the best!
1915
01:42:50,018 --> 01:42:51,065
MILF.
1916
01:42:52,312 --> 01:42:53,689
MILF. MILF.
1917
01:42:55,315 --> 01:42:56,532
Oh, Finch's mom!
1918
01:42:57,150 --> 01:43:02,156
MILF! MILF! MILF!
1919
01:43:04,532 --> 01:43:06,000
Yes! Yes!
1920
01:43:06,075 --> 01:43:07,497
Oh, your son's such a dork!
1921
01:43:07,577 --> 01:43:09,500
Stop talking about him!
1922
01:43:11,914 --> 01:43:14,588
Well, our first reunion
is officially in the books.
1923
01:43:14,751 --> 01:43:17,971
I don't know about you guys, but
my night ended pretty well.
1924
01:43:18,129 --> 01:43:19,221
It was great.
1925
01:43:19,297 --> 01:43:20,640
I had a blast.
It was unforgettable.
1926
01:43:20,715 --> 01:43:22,433
Fuck yeah!
I jizzed like a racehorse.
1927
01:43:23,134 --> 01:43:24,807
What happened to you at the
end of the night, Stifler?
1928
01:43:24,886 --> 01:43:26,183
Who did you end up with?
1929
01:43:26,262 --> 01:43:29,015
A gentleman never
kisses and tells, Jim.
1930
01:43:31,893 --> 01:43:32,940
Guys?
1931
01:43:35,021 --> 01:43:36,898
I'll be right back, okay?
1932
01:43:40,818 --> 01:43:41,910
Kara!
1933
01:43:48,451 --> 01:43:50,545
HEY-HEY...
1934
01:43:51,329 --> 01:43:54,003
Look, I'm sorry about
what I said the other night.
1935
01:43:54,165 --> 01:43:57,544
No, I'm the one who
should be apologizing.
1936
01:43:57,710 --> 01:43:59,838
I can't believe the way I acted.
I'm so embarrassed.
1937
01:43:59,921 --> 01:44:01,468
Don't be.
1938
01:44:01,881 --> 01:44:05,181
When I was your age I was
pretty obsessed with sex, too.
1939
01:44:05,259 --> 01:44:06,351
I know.
1940
01:44:07,387 --> 01:44:08,479
I've seen the YouTube clip.
1941
01:44:08,971 --> 01:44:11,440
Oh, of course you did.
1942
01:44:11,599 --> 01:44:13,818
But, thanks for understanding.
1943
01:44:13,976 --> 01:44:16,775
I was thinking about it,
and you're right.
1944
01:44:16,938 --> 01:44:18,565
I should really wait
for someone special.
1945
01:44:20,274 --> 01:44:23,278
Just, it's going to be tough
to find a guy as good as you.
1946
01:44:26,698 --> 01:44:27,790
I'm sure you will.
1947
01:44:34,622 --> 01:44:36,716
I feel like a whole new
man after this weekend.
1948
01:44:36,791 --> 01:44:38,259
Kind of sucks
we have to leave, though.
1949
01:44:38,334 --> 01:44:41,463
Not me. I'm going to take
some time off my job
1950
01:44:41,546 --> 01:44:43,389
and stick around here
with Heather for a while.
1951
01:44:43,464 --> 01:44:44,556
Nice!
1952
01:44:44,632 --> 01:44:45,758
What about you, Finch?
1953
01:44:45,842 --> 01:44:49,062
Selena and I, we're planning
a little jaunt to Europe.
1954
01:44:49,220 --> 01:44:51,814
Just make sure you call your mom.
She misses you.
1955
01:44:52,682 --> 01:44:54,059
How would you know?
1956
01:44:55,852 --> 01:44:56,853
Oh...
1957
01:44:59,981 --> 01:45:01,904
I guess this is it, huh?
Back to reality?
1958
01:45:02,066 --> 01:45:03,818
We shouldn't wait
until the next reunion.
1959
01:45:03,985 --> 01:45:07,080
We should try to get
together every year.
1960
01:45:07,196 --> 01:45:09,824
What do you say,
until next time?
1961
01:45:09,907 --> 01:45:12,080
Until next time.
Until next time!
1962
01:45:21,794 --> 01:45:23,091
I fucked Finch's mom.
1963
01:45:23,212 --> 01:45:24,509
What?
1964
01:45:24,630 --> 01:45:25,973
What was that?
1965
01:46:48,047 --> 01:46:49,048
Hmm?
1966
01:46:49,715 --> 01:46:51,092
What's this?
1967
01:46:52,426 --> 01:46:54,178
Oh, no, dean No, no, no.
1968
01:46:54,345 --> 01:46:56,188
No, dear. No!
1969
01:46:56,264 --> 01:46:57,265
Oh!
1970
01:47:03,145 --> 01:47:04,146
Oh...
1971
01:47:04,897 --> 01:47:07,946
Oh. Oh. Oh.
1972
01:47:08,192 --> 01:47:11,537
Ah. Oh. Oh.
1973
01:47:11,946 --> 01:47:14,825
Oh, boy. Oh, boy! Oh, boy!
1974
01:47:15,032 --> 01:47:17,126
Oh, my God! Oh, my God!
Oh, my God!
1975
01:47:17,785 --> 01:47:19,378
Oh! Oh!
1976
01:47:19,453 --> 01:47:21,501
Oh, my God!
1977
01:47:21,873 --> 01:47:23,295
Ah!
1978
01:47:29,213 --> 01:47:30,806
Great movie.
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